My Boyfriend Keeps Trying To Sneak Meat Into My Food, I'm Vegetarian r/Relationships

[00:00:00] Have a catch of self eating the same flavorless dinner three days in a row?

[00:00:03] Dreaming of something better?

[00:00:05] Well, Hello Fresh is your guilt free dream come true baby.

[00:00:08] It's me, Gigi Palmer.

[00:00:10] Let's wake up those taste buds with hot juicy pecan crusted chicken or garlic butter shrimp scampi.

[00:00:16] Mmm, Hello Fresh.

[00:00:30] Hey, Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well.

[00:00:38] My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love

[00:00:43] a Reddit story why not consider and I like subscribe maybe then notification bell too.

[00:00:48] Let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:51] Much love guys now today's first story comes from veggie girlfriend who says me 25 female

[00:00:57] with my boyfriend 23 male for three years.

[00:01:01] He can't accept that I'm vegetarian and I think he's trying to trick me into eating

[00:01:05] meat and before we do get into the story I do want to give you a couple of warnings that

[00:01:10] there is domestic violence, physical assault abuse and obsessive behavior as well so if

[00:01:15] you don't want to skip the story please feel free to do so timestamps are always

[00:01:18] down in the description and along the timeline below.

[00:01:21] Thank you.

[00:01:22] Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and have lived together for

[00:01:26] one year.

[00:01:27] I've been a vegetarian since I was 11 years old through my own choice.

[00:01:32] No one else in my family is veggie, my boyfriend eats meat although my dream ideal partner

[00:01:37] probably would be a vegetarian.

[00:01:39] I view this as a damn savage price of admission for an otherwise great guy.

[00:01:45] Usually we cook veggie meals and he adds meat to them.

[00:01:48] If you want a meal where that doesn't work we just cook our own things and

[00:01:52] eat them together.

[00:01:54] The cooking works out to be about 50-50 and so does the cleaning so I don't think the

[00:01:59] problem is with that.

[00:02:00] He eats meat most days, I have no problem with meat in the flat, I won't cook it

[00:02:05] that's all because it grosses me out.

[00:02:08] Meat pizzas and stuff like that I don't mind but nothing that involves really touching

[00:02:12] the meat.

[00:02:13] Recently he has been really obsessed with my vegetarianism in a way he never had before.

[00:02:20] He always made stupid jokes but that's a better reaction than a lot of people.

[00:02:24] He proper grilled me about it about 4 times in the past fortnight.

[00:02:29] Anyone who has been veggie knows how annoying those constant conversations are.

[00:02:33] He started genuinely saying that it's stupid, unhealthy, hipster, all that stuff.

[00:02:39] I've shown him the studies saying vegetarians usually live longer, that a veggie and

[00:02:44] even vegan diet is accepted unanimously by dietitians as just as healthy as a meat one.

[00:02:50] He just doesn't accept it.

[00:02:52] He has a far worse diet than I do.

[00:02:54] I don't snack, don't eat fast food, don't have sugary drinks and he does all the time.

[00:03:00] They're both slim however.

[00:03:01] He's been asking if I'd ever quit a lot too.

[00:03:04] I'd like to point out that I never bring up my vegetarianism up in a conversation

[00:03:09] because usually people try to lecture you.

[00:03:12] Whenever we talk about it, he brings it up.

[00:03:16] Now, there's been a handful of times in the past few weeks when he'll cook a meal for

[00:03:20] us and I'll notice that it's not vegetarian.

[00:03:23] Some examples.

[00:03:25] He made spag bowl saying it was corn when it just obviously wasn't.

[00:03:29] They don't look the same.

[00:03:30] When I pointed this out he just laughed and said it was a brain fart and he forgot.

[00:03:35] Which okay whatever, I guess that could happen.

[00:03:38] He gave me a sandwich with ham on it.

[00:03:40] Another mistake apparently.

[00:03:42] Since he was making us both them and just put the ham on both.

[00:03:46] Despite this never having been a problem before.

[00:03:49] He made himself a bacon butty and asked if I wanted an egg one.

[00:03:53] I say yes and when I walk into the kitchen he's using the same pan that he used for

[00:03:57] bacon.

[00:03:58] He said he didn't know this was a problem when he 100% did.

[00:04:02] Because he always swapped pans before this.

[00:04:04] And it's not about the washing up because when he cooks I wash up and the other

[00:04:08] way around.

[00:04:09] He made some chicken enchiladas and told me that they were veggie.

[00:04:13] Luckily I saw the chicken when I cut it in half.

[00:04:16] Same excuses, an honest mistake.

[00:04:19] I thus far haven't accidentally eaten any meat.

[00:04:23] I've been cooking for myself for the past week but he keeps offering to cook for

[00:04:26] both of us.

[00:04:27] Am I just being paranoid?

[00:04:30] The idea of him sneaking meat into my food seems crazy but it really seems like he

[00:04:34] is.

[00:04:35] Why would he even bother to do that?

[00:04:37] He's been trying to sneak meat into my food.

[00:04:45] You've been together for some time and it hasn't been a problem before.

[00:04:49] This just feels completely intentional that he's doing it.

[00:04:52] I don't see how you can make a mistake like that after you've been together

[00:04:55] for some time etc etc.

[00:04:57] First couple of weeks of dating may be right.

[00:05:00] I'm not sure what the excuse is going to be, why he's doing this.

[00:05:04] I've seen stuff like this in the past about people not being able to accept someone else

[00:05:13] being vegetarian.

[00:05:14] I don't really understand the mindset.

[00:05:17] Why does this affect you in any way?

[00:05:20] But a commenter says to OP, I think you're using the word sneak incorrectly.

[00:05:26] This douche knows for well what he's doing and you should probably have some serious

[00:05:29] second thoughts about him and his actions.

[00:05:32] Take my ass.

[00:05:33] OP says I'm glad people are agreeing with me.

[00:05:37] I don't think it could be in any way a mistake either but he insists that they are.

[00:05:41] Won't change his story at all.

[00:05:44] Another commenter says have you talked to him about the fact that he's been incredibly

[00:05:47] disrespectful towards you and your moral choices?

[00:05:50] OP says I question him after every incident and I've asked him separately as well.

[00:05:56] I was like you've been making a lot of these mistakes.

[00:05:58] Wanna talk about my vegetarianism?

[00:06:00] Are you confused about it?

[00:06:02] Present for?

[00:06:03] He insisted and insisted that every single time it was a mistake then huffed off to bed.

[00:06:10] Cat romance says to OP, it does sound like he's setting you up for a, did you like

[00:06:14] what I made you for dinner?

[00:06:15] Ha!

[00:06:16] It had me eating it sucker situation.

[00:06:19] These are no honest mistakes.

[00:06:21] You two have lived and eaten together for quite some time now and to suddenly be

[00:06:25] making mistakes like this is ridiculous.

[00:06:28] He's definitely trying to get you to eat meat.

[00:06:30] I think you need to have a serious talk with him.

[00:06:33] Tell him that you know he's trying to sneak you meat.

[00:06:36] There's no way too many coincidences for these to be accidents anymore.

[00:06:40] Tell him that if you ever suspect or discover that he has fed you meat you will break

[00:06:43] up with him on the spot.

[00:06:45] At least tell him that if that's how you feel.

[00:06:47] For me it'll be a total breach of trust.

[00:06:50] Ask him what his deal is with your being a vegetarian?

[00:06:53] Is a friend giving him shit?

[00:06:55] Did he read something that made him worried?

[00:06:56] Is he concerned about what you two will feed your future children?

[00:06:59] There's something that's got the fire going under his feet.

[00:07:03] You need to figure out what it is.

[00:07:07] Another user says someone has gotten in his ear.

[00:07:09] People don't just change overnight.

[00:07:11] I'm not even addressing his disrespectful behaviour because it's so obviously disrespectful.

[00:07:16] Just the fact he suddenly changed.

[00:07:18] Has he changed jobs, departments, gym, taken up CrossFit recently?

[00:07:22] Has an old friend moved back in town?

[00:07:24] Because if you can work out where he's getting this from you can attack it at his root source.

[00:07:29] If it's CrossFit you can point out the number of vegetarian pay you bloggers out there.

[00:07:33] If it's a new colleague or an old friend you can point out their opinion should not

[00:07:37] take precedence over your health because at this point eating meat will make you very sick

[00:07:42] or your ethical stance.

[00:07:43] It also sounds very passive aggressive.

[00:07:46] Also if he's almost embarrassed about his new position on your vegetarianism.

[00:07:50] I don't know if that makes sense.

[00:07:52] Is it possible that someone like his mum or dad has been at him?

[00:07:55] Are you about to upgrade your relationship or have you done so recently?

[00:07:59] And he has a sister or his mum in his ear about,

[00:08:02] Oh are you going to raise your kids veggo because you know that will kill them?

[00:08:06] Honestly dig through you find the source of this and then reason with him from that perspective.

[00:08:13] And one more comment from here kiddies quotes O.P. saying am I just being paranoid and then they

[00:08:18] say no no one randomly forgets that vegetarians don't eat ham sandwiches especially a person

[00:08:23] you've been with for this long.

[00:08:25] You need to have a serious talk with about respecting your boundaries and beliefs that

[00:08:29] you're died as your own and he needs to get over it.

[00:08:32] If you can't do that then you may have to just reconsider this relationship.

[00:08:36] Given that he had no problem with it before I guess someone he knows has been a bug in his ear.

[00:08:42] Random little off topic thing here and anyone ever mentions like a bug being in someone's ear.

[00:08:47] I always think of the SpongeBob episode the musical doodle listen again to the musical doodle doot doot

[00:08:55] doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot

[00:08:58] I'm going off anyway.

[00:08:59] O.P. does update the post and says so after posting I stuck to only eating food I'd made

[00:09:05] my boyfriend got more and more antsy about cooking for me.

[00:09:08] I sat him down the next day and asked him the same stuff.

[00:09:12] If he had a problem with my vegetarianism why was he trying to contaminate my food?

[00:09:16] Since I asked why and not if he blew up demanding to know why I didn't trust him.

[00:09:22] How could accuse him of this?

[00:09:24] He also kept trying to get me to explain why I'm veggie in the first place.

[00:09:28] But he knows this well so I didn't let him derail the conversation.

[00:09:33] Eventually after the most frustrating circular argument ever

[00:09:37] he stormed off to our bedroom.

[00:09:39] We didn't speak that night or the morning.

[00:09:41] When I got home the next day he actually gone and cooked an entire chicken for us.

[00:09:47] He asked me if I'd eat it.

[00:09:49] It was so surreal.

[00:09:51] Him stood at the kitchen counter with his cooked chicken asking me to eat it when

[00:09:55] he's never known me to eat meat as if we haven't been arguing about this at all.

[00:10:00] I didn't even respond.

[00:10:01] I shouldered my way past him to the fridge which was a massive mistake.

[00:10:06] I guess he went a little nuts.

[00:10:08] I can't really believe this happened but he grabbed me by my hair at the back of my head

[00:10:13] and with another hand tried to force chicken into my mouth.

[00:10:17] I was still shocked by this.

[00:10:19] It was terrifying.

[00:10:20] He was much stronger than me.

[00:10:22] He didn't succeed and after some moments of me struggling he let go.

[00:10:26] He just stood there looking defeated while I literally ran out of the kitchen

[00:10:30] and got some stuff and went to my parents.

[00:10:32] I'm there now.

[00:10:33] It's been the better part of a week.

[00:10:36] He's agreed to move out put up no fight for the flat or for us which I wouldn't accept of course

[00:10:41] anyway.

[00:10:42] When we spoke on the phone to decide this he sounded ashamed, quiet.

[00:10:47] I hope he's ashamed.

[00:10:49] I'll never know why he suddenly snapped about my vegetarianism and frankly I don't care anymore.

[00:10:54] He's obviously just a wanker to do that anyway.

[00:10:57] This past month or so has been so different to the test of our relationship.

[00:11:02] It's crazy but there's no coming back from this.

[00:11:05] I'm well shot of him.

[00:11:08] What an absolutely terrifying situation for OP to go through.

[00:11:14] For someone to change like that in such a short amount of time

[00:11:18] and then to be physically abusive to OP as well.

[00:11:21] I'm so so glad they got themselves out of that situation because it did feel like

[00:11:27] especially towards the end there that things were escalating out of control.

[00:11:32] A lot of people in the comments saying that OP should report this to the police and other people

[00:11:37] saying you know it probably won't get them anywhere etc with this.

[00:11:41] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:11:43] Like I said I'm glad that OP is out of that situation.

[00:11:46] I hope that they continue to heal from this experience but now I'm going to turn this

[00:11:51] one to you guys.

[00:11:52] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:11:54] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:12:03] Hold up.

[00:12:06] What was that?

[00:12:07] Boring.

[00:12:08] No flavor.

[00:12:09] That was as bad as those leftovers you ate all week.

[00:12:11] Kicky Palmer here and it's time to say hello to something fresh and guilt-free.

[00:12:16] Hello Fresh.

[00:12:17] Jazz up dinner with pecan, crusty chicken or garlic butter shrimps campy.

[00:12:21] Now that's music to my mouth.

[00:12:23] Hello Fresh.

[00:12:25] Let's get this dinner party started.

[00:12:26] Discover all the delicious possibilities at hellofresh.com.

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[00:12:50] That's amazon.com slash comedy ad-free to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.

[00:12:56] Now our next story does come with an update.

[00:13:00] It's from the true off my chest subreddit from Big Mouth Bad Karma who says

[00:13:04] my boyfriend doesn't know I will break up with him after his residency exam.

[00:13:10] And before we do get into this story there is talk of alcoholism within the story so

[00:13:14] as always timestamps are down in the description.

[00:13:17] We've been together three years.

[00:13:19] Only in the last year is alcoholism has started to show.

[00:13:23] He's a mean drunk that every time after he goes out to drink he arrives home

[00:13:27] only to scream at me.

[00:13:29] He also got into drugs so the arriving home is around 10 am.

[00:13:34] After not hearing from him for half a day the shouting finally became name calling.

[00:13:39] After giving him an ultimatum about his lifestyle choices and how they affect me

[00:13:44] I was promised everything will change.

[00:13:47] No more nights turned into mornings turned into evenings and no more leaving me to go home

[00:13:52] alone no more shouting no more drugs no more secrets as where he is or with whom.

[00:13:57] But he doesn't know I know he lied every weekend when he told me he is in bed sleeping.

[00:14:03] He doesn't know I know every girl he gave his insta to.

[00:14:06] I know he begged his friend to lie to me.

[00:14:09] He doesn't know that as soon as he comes home from his residency exam

[00:14:12] I'll have my stuff packed and ready to leave one week from today.

[00:14:17] He doesn't know that while he is talking about us buying a house together and getting

[00:14:21] married I cry because of how stupid he was.

[00:14:24] Not because I am happy.

[00:14:26] He is currently singing in the other room making plans for how we celebrate if he passed the exam.

[00:14:33] And I guess myself and a lot of comments were sort of like a bit confused and like

[00:14:38] why are you staying there now?

[00:14:39] Why didn't you just get out of the apartment and leave?

[00:14:41] Obviously I don't know the reason why so it's a genuine question

[00:14:46] because domesticated shrimp says could you explain the logic behind not leaving ASAP?

[00:14:51] I just genuinely wanted to understand your feelings better.

[00:14:54] Obi says I'm in the field so I know how hard it is.

[00:14:57] I genuinely want him to pass and have a good life.

[00:15:01] Just not with me in it.

[00:15:03] Not as Stegas all says I recommend packing your stuff and moving out while he is gone

[00:15:08] and if you really want to give him closure ask to meet somewhere in public.

[00:15:11] Not a bar but like a cafe and just let him know that you're leaving him and

[00:15:15] all your stuff is moved out.

[00:15:17] Don't risk impossibly getting violent.

[00:15:20] Autumn Prayer says that's a really hard choice to make but it sounds like an overdue decision.

[00:15:24] He is not stable and he shows no sign of changing.

[00:15:28] Buying a house with him would be a huge mistake.

[00:15:31] Quote's OP again saying as soon as he comes home from after his residency exam

[00:15:34] I will have my stuff packed and ready to leave and then says you may want to rethink this part.

[00:15:39] He's shown himself to be volatile.

[00:15:41] Coming home from a highly stressful exam to see you ready to leave

[00:15:45] may result in an explosive reaction.

[00:15:47] The best case scenario is an ugly unpleasant loud scene.

[00:15:52] The worst case scenario is that there is a risk of violence.

[00:15:55] Leave him while he is at the exam.

[00:15:58] Don't be waiting for him at home move out while he's gone.

[00:16:01] If you feel you owe him closure that's your choice but do so in a way that is actually safe.

[00:16:07] Meet him in public only have friends nearby call him on the phone but don't end

[00:16:11] the relationship with a volatile person in private especially in a way that will invite conflict.

[00:16:17] The current plan puts you at risk unnecessarily.

[00:16:20] And there was a lot of similar advice in the comments like don't tell him person if you're

[00:16:25] going to do so in a public place don't be waiting after the exam because you know

[00:16:30] you're doing it in private it is potentially not safe for you.

[00:16:35] And I think it was all top advice really.

[00:16:38] You know he might not explode there might not be a big reaction or anything like that

[00:16:43] but there is that risk and and like that last comment said

[00:16:47] you don't need to do it in that way when you can do it in a much safer way really.

[00:16:51] But OP did update the post and says I did break up with him.

[00:16:55] Thank you all for liking and commenting.

[00:16:57] I did read each and every comment of yours and it was a relief going through this week.

[00:17:02] A few clarifications that mev sparked confusion.

[00:17:06] I'm not from the US English is not my first language so when I googled

[00:17:10] residency exam it seemed like what I was referring to.

[00:17:14] The exam a med student takes to start working in the hospital.

[00:17:18] So referring to those that told me to tell his boss he doesn't have one.

[00:17:22] For those who told me to report to the board there isn't a board.

[00:17:26] He took several admission tests that verify him APT psychology and physically.

[00:17:31] He passed all those tests I cannot go against several doctors approval with just my word.

[00:17:36] I went to the hospital and asked what I have to do to prove he's a danger.

[00:17:40] He told me that I would need hard proof that I cannot get.

[00:17:44] The hospital reassured me that there are checkups and they will keep an eye on him.

[00:17:48] I also told his parents and his friends the real reason we broke up.

[00:17:52] Now the breakup it did not go violently.

[00:17:55] I did what was suggested and I met him in a public place after his exam.

[00:17:59] At first he acted very weird got up and left just to quickly come back saying he's sorry

[00:18:05] but he doesn't want to feel this pain.

[00:18:07] We had a very civil talk where told him how alone he made me feel.

[00:18:11] Every time we would go out and come back only at 12 am.

[00:18:15] I told him that he is not the person I would want to raise my children with.

[00:18:20] I told him how volatile he is and how even though he never hurt anybody

[00:18:24] I don't want to be the first one.

[00:18:27] His reaction was to cry and beg.

[00:18:30] Telling me I am the love of his life and he will get help.

[00:18:33] He pledged me he will never meet up with those friends again

[00:18:36] that he never cheated on me and that he will go to therapy.

[00:18:40] There was a long breakup.

[00:18:42] Since then he bought me tickets to Venice for my work milestone

[00:18:45] which is in two months saying that this is for me and if I want maybe for us.

[00:18:50] He brought me flowers for valentines and asked if we could meet.

[00:18:53] I said no and I said I will block him if he goes on like this.

[00:18:57] I'm incredibly sad because my family won't talk to me

[00:19:00] saying I am selfish for not helping them their emotional needs even now

[00:19:05] and saying I should take him back.

[00:19:07] I feel so sorry for the both of us or drugs and alcohol can turn you into.

[00:19:12] So in the comments Jonas Noble says block him anyway

[00:19:15] and I hope you didn't accept this gift and give him false hope.

[00:19:19] Hope he says that I didn't.

[00:19:20] I told him absolutely no to maintaining contact

[00:19:23] to going out to the flowers all to Venice and any other things he might think of.

[00:19:27] Little Trucko Chip says good for you O.P.

[00:19:30] It's so hard when your own family doesn't support your decisions

[00:19:33] but future you will be so happy that you made this choice.

[00:19:36] He sounds like a dumpster fire and should fix himself before getting into a relationship with

[00:19:41] anyone. Hope he says yeah it certainly isn't easy.

[00:19:45] I had them screaming at me through the phone.

[00:19:47] I stopped responding and now they're screaming at me through my door.

[00:19:51] I think the hardest part of this breakup is how let down I feel by my own family.

[00:19:55] It's amazing how week after week as I'm trying to change what's making me unhappy

[00:20:00] I end up even more miserable.

[00:20:03] What is up with that family man?

[00:20:06] Imagine like your hypothetical child coming up to you and telling you that yet they're

[00:20:12] in a relationship like this and then you say oh you need to stay with him you can't break up

[00:20:17] with him blah blah blah that's absolutely horrific.

[00:20:21] Someone who needs support and love at this moment you're turning them away banging on their door

[00:20:28] treating them like shit.

[00:20:30] It sounds like OP's got some more decisions to be making in their future especially in regards

[00:20:34] to their family but as I always say I know it's incredibly tough as well.

[00:20:38] And I wonder what the reason behind all this from the family is is it because you know

[00:20:44] he's potentially going to be a doctor or something like that he's going to be in

[00:20:49] some kind of respected profession and I'm not saying OP should be with this person

[00:20:53] because absolutely they've done the right thing here to get themselves out of that situation

[00:20:58] and I just think that the family's a bunch of assholes.

[00:21:02] But I do wish you the very best for the future OP and I hope you find some happiness in

[00:21:09] potentially get away from that family at the same time at least break some contact with them

[00:21:14] because they are doing you absolutely no favours at the moment but now I'm going to turn this

[00:21:20] one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts

[00:21:25] down in the comments below.

[00:21:27] And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:21:31] you'll love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you

[00:21:35] so so much for being involved and hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one take care and much love.

[00:21:55] Hold up what was that boring no flavor that was as bad as those leftovers you ate all week

[00:22:19] kicky-paw my hair and it's time to say hello to something fresh and guilt-free hello fresh jazz

[00:22:25] up dinner with pecan crusted chicken or garlic butter shrimps campy now that's music to my mouth

[00:22:31] hello fresh let's get this dinner party started discover all the delicious possibilities at

[00:22:37] hello fresh com