My Boyfriend Is NOT HAPPY With Me As I Didn't Make Him A Plate At Christmas r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. If you do love a Reddit Story why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:17] Now I was laughing as I was doing the intro there as I spotted the name of the first post user. It comes from the user GoblinCock. It's titled, My 34 male boyfriend is upset with me, 32 female, because I didn't make his plate and serve it to him during Christmas. Where do I go from here? Our five year anniversary is a couple of weeks from now and we have a two year old. I didn't know anything was wrong until we started

[00:00:47] the five hour drive home after spending the holidays with my family. He was quiet, pretty much the whole way and snapped at me when I asked why he was following too close behind the vehicle and also driving fast. As soon as we get home, he leaves without a word for a couple of hours, gets back and says he went to the mall to buy a couple more gifts and some shoes for himself. I'm annoyed because I've been telling him for weeks to pick out shoes and I will buy them for his upcoming birthday. He's really hard to shop for,

[00:01:17] and picky about his clothes. So I asked him why he bought him shoes himself when I wanted to buy him some as a gift. He says in a rude tone, send me 100 then because that's how much they were. I finally asked him what his problem was and he was upset that I didn't make him a plate. I spent over four hours cooking for my whole family, also cooked for Christmas Eve the day before. I was tired. The holidays are exhausting. I couldn't believe he was upset about that. He seemed annoyed on

[00:01:47] boxing day because we ordered pizza and I made a plate for my stepfather who uses a cane. I told him to make himself a plate and he just sat there. He also said I barely looked at him during our visit and if I did, I didn't smile or look at him lovingly.

[00:02:01] Like I said, I was tired. My two-year-old was also extra clingy so I felt overstimulated and just tried to be present with my family. Lastly, he was mad because I didn't go sledding with him and my family. I stayed back with my sister and baby niece and we watched a rom-com. I wanted to relax and have some me time and he was upset about that, saying I just wanted to go on my phone, which I did. I got to watch TikToks and just scroll for a bit.

[00:02:29] Anyway, after we got home and had this conversation, I left upset and went to have dinner by myself while he took our child for a walk. As soon as I got home, he left again and didn't come back for four hours. We have barely spoken and I don't want to be the one to sit down and start this conversation, to coddle him and make him feel better. I'm so sick of this. Where do I go from here?

[00:02:54] Chicken Scratch Coffee says to the OP, why are you allowing this toxic relationship to continue? He's a grown adult. He can get his own plate. OP says, it's my first long-term relationship. My first love. I asked myself this question as well. Low self-esteem perhaps, but I've just started therapy again, so I'm hoping things will get better for my mental health.

[00:03:18] OP says, sounds like you're a servant to him, not a partner. Considering his age, this most likely comes from deeply rooted misogyny and won't change. Watch out for isolation attempts. The way he didn't like you taking some me time with your family, but wanted you to be with him and his family instead, doesn't bode well.

[00:03:38] Do not prioritize his family over yours is my advice. You don't want to end up isolated from your closest people with a controlling, sexist man, and it seems like you may end up exactly there. Lazy B replies saying, this, this, this. Be careful OP, his behavior is so outrageous, it shouldn't be acceptable. He was angry that you weren't at his beck and call at all times as the woman, and this will only get worse. Please dump his ass. You'll do so much better without him.

[00:04:07] OP says, you're right. He has trauma from his mother, and I feel like he hates me sometimes. All I do is work, cook for my family, take care of our child, paying for daycare and drop off some pickups and stay home. He always finds something to be mad about with me. If he isn't being jealous, then he's mad I don't clean enough or want some alone time. And I agree with the comments. It feels like it's more about control, expecting you to serve him, giving him constant attention, and, you know, forgoing any personal time.

[00:04:37] All while you manage a toddler, working and handling most of the household responsibilities, and when he doesn't get his way, he gives you the silent treatment and hour-long disappearances. And I always like the question that people ask in these types of stories that, you know, is this the relationship dynamic that you want your child growing up thinking is normal? Which I'm sure you don't. But OP came in with her update around half a month later and said,

[00:05:04] Like an absolute dumbass, I stayed. I cried my eyes out and told him how I felt, and he didn't have anything to say. Just that he's sorry and will do better. We're okay for a week. Today is our five-year anniversary. Well, would have been. He broke up with me today. I've had to stay home all week with our child because of a parasite and waiting for tests. On Thursday, I got sick, and I'm still sick with what feels like a chest cold slash infection. The morning of our anniversary, he goes rock climbing.

[00:05:34] I don't know what time he left, but was gone until noon. I was pissed and text him. It would have been nice to have help while I rested. I canceled the reservations I made to the restaurant that we met at. When I told him this, he ripped up the card he got me, told me he's going to stay elsewhere, and we are done. He said I'm miserable and just want to be sad and that I make him pay with all the ways my dad failed me. My father could care less about me than I have daddy issues. Lol.

[00:06:01] I don't think I'm being unreasonable for expecting him to spend the whole day or coming back early from climbing. I didn't even get a good morning or happy anniversary text, but it is what it is. Anyway, you all were right. I knew in my heart, but didn't want to believe it. There's no coming back from this, but I'm okay. Thank you for letting me vent and for all your advice. It's nice to come back and read all the positive support. On the update, a commenter says just hold your head high and move forward.

[00:06:31] When he changes his mind, hold firm. Talk to a lawyer about child support, etc. You can do this. You've seen who he is now. Don't let yourself unsee it. I believe in you, and you deserve all good things. The commenter says he sounds like a man child. Now he's gone. I almost guarantee you'll start thriving. With him not around, putting you down, draining your energy and self-esteem, you'll start noticing a difference. Obi says thank you. Just got to get over the sad part.

[00:07:00] I was the best version of myself when I met him. I've lost myself in this relationship, but I felt ready to move forward. Beneficial Nee says he's right on one thing, and that has to do with your disappointment with your father. If we have a neglectful or abusive father, we tend to see those wonderful things about a new man as familiar. The things that gave us happiness in childhood, but in reality, it is our little child heart yearning for attention and possibly love and protection of our father.

[00:07:27] The promise is empty, and in fact the new guy is enamored of you based on the same criteria. If you had known this about each other and still wanted to go ahead, you could have gone to couples counseling. Hope you get some therapy for your codependency before you get into another relationship, because if you don't, you and your little boy will continue to suffer. If you still have unresolved issues with your father now, it's probably best time for you to work through those things. If the problems with dad are alcohol-related, you would find the best and strongest support at Al Anon,

[00:07:56] which is the family program connected to AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, which is all free and the best treatment you can get. To read, Codependent No More, Getting the Alive You Want. Hope he says,

[00:08:29] Mundane says, He isn't being a stable, considerate partner. You can't count on him. His mood keeps shifting. He seems unstable. Hope he says yes to all of this. I feel like most people expect their partner to put them first on an anniversary, and most people do. I also made breakfast for us that morning, and he texts me, Why would you make me breakfast when I told you I was going climbing? Any other day, I would not have made a big deal. Maybe I overreacted by canceling the reservations that I made for us,

[00:08:58] but I was sick and felt overwhelmed because my baby would not stop breastfeeding off me when I was having a coughing fit. I was angry at him in the moment. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from ActiveBunch9595, and says, Am I the arsehole here for not helping my daughter?

[00:09:27] My daughter, 22 female, went no contact with me two years ago. Before this happened, I was warning her about this guy she's dating, who is full of red flags. He loved, bombed her, and isolated her from her family and friends. She dropped out of college, despite my pleas to reconsider. She decided to move in with him, and since then, I never heard from her directly. But she would often ask my family member to ask me for money. Last thing I heard about her is that she has one-year-old twins,

[00:09:55] and her life is basically falling apart. The love of her life turned out to be a monster, and she's working two jobs to keep her family afloat. The friends she's abandoned are now done with college, and starting new careers in corporate, while she works at a dollar store and Uber. A family member showed me a screenshot of my daughter's Facebook post, basically calling me an arsehole for not stepping up and helping her. She also ranted about me not supporting her to finish college, unlike her friend's parents.

[00:10:24] I don't have much extra money, and I'm saving for retirement. She dropped out when I begged her not to. Plus, she also blocked my number. She knows where I live, but she never attempted to drop by. Am I the arsehole here for not reaching out and offering help? The first commenter on this one said, Not the arsehole. She cut you out of her life. She got a wish. Sa says, Well, she got what she wanted. She lives with her beloved, and she is the one who broke off contact.

[00:10:54] She didn't give a damn about you. She pays for her stupidity. Not the arsehole. Ape says, Yeah, she did not give a damn about me. She only lives 10 minutes away, but never ever dropped by to say hi, yet expects me to touch my life savings to help her out. I'm thinking I could run out of money helping her, and when I need help, she won't be there at all. Imaginary Prank says, At 17, I left home, and at 19, I got married to a much older man. Then I moved states.

[00:11:23] I always kept in contact with my family. No bad blood there. Then, about 18 months after the wedding, my husband, now deceased, chose to try to strangle me. My parents were at my house the next day with a u-haul. I moved about an hour away, staying with my same employer and living alone. After about 10 months of this, my parents encouraged me to move back with them and to go to tech school and get some type of training and credentials. So, I did. I was super grateful for the opportunity.

[00:11:51] I went to tech school full-time for six quarters and graduated with honors in electronics. While I was still living with them, I got a job at a local pizza joint where I could just work on the weekends. I also kept the house clean while I lived with them. They also paid for my schooling. At that time, it was about $300 a quarter. Super cheap, especially compared to what my sister got for her education. Anyway, I'm glad they didn't write me off and gave me an opportunity to improve my life. But,

[00:12:18] I never treated my family like your daughter is treating you. Opie says, Thank you for sharing your experience. Before she dropped out, she was living with me and just like your parents, I was paying for her tuition. She only worked two days a week and I paid for all of her bills. When she met the guy she's with now, all of a sudden, she changed. She would skip her classes and would spend time with him instead. Then, she dropped out and moved in with him. I begged her to reconsider, but she blocked me instead. So then,

[00:12:48] Opie came in with her first update and says, Thanks everyone for your input. I sent a message to my daughter via a family member on Facebook and my son, and they both came to my house last night for dinner. I told them it's an open forum where we can air our grievances against each other and from there, we will sort it out. Daughter, hates me for not trying hard enough to reach out to her when she moved in with her boyfriend. She also hates it that I never try to accept her boyfriend. My reason is that she decided to drop out and be an adult

[00:13:17] and I felt disrespected by hurtful things she said and by blocking me, I got the message she does not want me around. I can never accept her boyfriend. He cheated on her many times and he does not work. I'm disgusted. Son, hates me for not giving him the extra money I had saved for the rest of my daughter's college. And he also said if I didn't want to give it to him, I could have given it to her when she got pregnant. My reason is that I paid for his college too. Since my daughter did not finish, whatever extra money I had saved for her tuition,

[00:13:47] I moved into my retirement savings. Why would I give it to him when I already paid for his too? He graduated with zero student loans. Also, why would I give it to her just because she got pregnant? Being an adult means you're responsible for your decisions. Me? I'm disappointed that my daughter dropped out, moved in with her boyfriend, got pregnant, and now living a hard life. I told her I worked my ass off to give her a good life and that she was my little princess. I never wanted her to experience hardship in life,

[00:14:16] but she chose this life and this is her reality now. I'm disappointed at my son for cutting me off and disrespecting me when I tried to reach out. All in all, we were civil, but they suggested that I get a reverse mortgage so they get their inheritance early and that would help them buy their own house. I said, I will think about it. Weak Passenger says to this one, ah yes, the classic, let's air our grievances so we can hit you with new ways to disappoint us strategy. You're not the asshole

[00:14:46] for standing your ground, but let's not sugarcoat it. Your kids are treating you like an ATM with a guilt trip feature. The daughter expects you to welcome a chronically unfaithful unemployed boyfriend with open arms, while son seems to think extra money means my money now. And the cherry on top, they want you to risk your financial security so they can buy houses. Bold move, considering their track records in adulting. You've done your part. You've funded their education or attempted to, reached out despite being blocked

[00:15:15] and hosted them for this dysfunctional dinner. If they want to play the you're a bad parent card, remind them that being a parent doesn't mean you're obligated to enable bad decisions or jeopardize your future. Keep that retirement fund intact. Sounds like you'll need it for peace of mind. Consistent Rent says this was a hostage meeting. They're withholding contact and affection unless OP pays them off. Having your college paid for as a freaking gift most kids would be grateful for, but the son is mad at that because one,

[00:15:45] he didn't get the balance of his sister's college fund and two, some weird convoluted grievance on his sister's behalf. It's all about the money. If they got it, they'd still be low contact with OP. Not the arsehole. Not the arsehole. But the commenter says, lol, fuck them. They're already talking about getting inheritance from you. Are you dying? Entitled little shits. I wouldn't give them anything. OP says, yeah, that's very entitled. Also, I am only in my early 60s.

[00:16:15] My house is paid off, but getting a reverse mortgage is risky. The commenter replies to OP saying, don't do it at all. You've paid off that house with your hard work, only to go into debt again. Come on. OP says, yeah, I'm not going to do it. The reasoning is that boomers had it good since we can afford a house. Bella Lee says, well, they need to get it through. They're entitled as fuck brains that they had it great to not start off with massive debt from college.

[00:16:45] Ray Mayanna says, not just him, but all of us. Please, for the love of our future self, don't touch a reverse mortgage. Those things are like financial quicksand. The more we need it, the worse it gets. It's basically a sneaky way to turn our home into a loan that we'll never fully enjoy. A house might go up in value, but guess what? We won't see a dime in that sweet appreciation. Honestly, this isn't the financial hack he thinks it is. Maybe it's time to make peace with his kids' life decisions. Back when I was their age,

[00:17:15] I didn't think I'd ever own a house either. I even had a fancy degree to show for it. Cezanne says, oh, hell no. You paid him full for your son's college, but that's not enough for him. She ignored solid loving advice and cut you off. And she thinks it's your fault for not reaching out to her. So, greedy, immature, and selfish people who will absolutely not be in a position to help you should you need it as you age. It's hard for a parent to refuse to help, but you must.

[00:17:43] You've done more than enough and they have to grow up. Opie responded saying her reasoning was parents should let kids make mistakes and then help them pick up the pieces. I said, hell no. My duty is to make sure you don't make life-altering mistakes. She said, nobody is perfect and people make mistakes and it's part of life. Ugh. So, Opie came in with another update and says, once again, thanks for your inputs. I messaged them both and informed them that I will not be getting a reverse mortgage.

[00:18:12] I enumerated the cons and told them that there's no way it will work for me. I have to maintain the property according to their strict terms, high fees, and costs. Reduced home equity and in case I need some money for myself, I won't have much left. My son said he understands but asked me if I can withdraw some of my 401k. My daughter threw a fit and accused me of not caring about her and my grandkids. To be honest, I have not even met my grandkids yet. Right now, I'm putting myself first because it's clear that none of them

[00:18:42] have my back. I also got text messages from my boyfriend, basically calling me greedy and that I'm doing this to punish her for being with him. Admit that maybe if she wasn't with him, I'd at least help her get back on her feet. But knowing that she's with him, there's no way I'd give her anything. Cam Cat says to OP, you have two greedy kids. Time for them to grow up and take responsibility for themselves. Quit bailing them out. They can get jobs, save money, and pay for things themselves

[00:19:11] like the rest of us. Beth says, I'd go with sperm beneficiaries. They didn't behave like OP's kids. They don't care for OP in any way. Time to just move on. Blue Green says, Not the arsehole. Why are you even entertaining helping either of them? They are no longer children. Let them sink or swim on their own. They look on you as an ATM, nothing more. Advice? Tell them both to go pound sand and kick some rocks at the same time.

[00:19:41] And there was another comment below this post. I'm kind of reading it just because of the name, but also the comment is legit. It's from Utter Cock Womble who says, Having had a family member pull the unless you 100% agree and support all my life choices and give me money without question. You don't care about me and I'm cutting you out argument. I can 100% believe this. Family member felt entitled to my money because I had some and I should use it to fund their life without question. As soon as I had

[00:20:11] a comment or opinion, all of a sudden my love was conditional and I was trying to run their life. Nope. I just told them I was going to pay the utility company directly rather than give them cash any longer. Wow, wow, wow. Entitlement off the charts there. But there were some people questioning is there missing information on this one because why are the kids like this? Who brought them up to be like this?

[00:20:41] Other people saying, you know, entitled assholes are going to arsehole. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.