My Boyfriend Is Going On A Camping Trip With His Ex Who REFUSES To Meet Me r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. If you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:17] Now today's first story comes from BF's Best Friend X. And it's titled, My 25 Female Boyfriend 26 Male of 10 Months Is Best Friends With His Ex. 20s Female? She refuses to meet me and it's getting weird. I started dating my boyfriend Jeff 10 months ago. This relationship has been amazing so far and I definitely see a future with him. There's just one problem. He has a weird relationship with his ex that's starting to make me really uncomfortable.

[00:00:47] And suspicious. When we started dating, he often talked about his best friend, Jenna, who he also owns a business with. He made it pretty clear that she was an important person to him. I knew they had spent vacations together and he'd mentioned hanging out with her parents a few times too. A few weeks after I met him, I creeped through all his pictures on Facebook. Because who doesn't do that with someone they just started dating? And saw a bunch of very couple-y pictures of him and Jenna.

[00:01:16] I also found her Instagram and looked through it. And it's filled with pictures of Jeff. A bunch of them had the hashtag, hashtag relationship goals and other similar things. So in this way, I figured out that they had dated. I kept waiting for him to tell me that himself, but he never did. About two months after we started dating, I straight up asked him if he had dated her. And he admitted it. He said that they had met in school and had similar ideals and ambitions.

[00:01:44] They dated for nine months and broke up a year and a half ago. I asked him why they'd broken up. And he said their relationship was awful and they worked much better as friends.

[00:01:54] They started their business after they broke up and things have apparently been going well between them since then.

[00:02:00] I started to get kind of suspicious about her though. When time passed, I still hadn't met her. I met his friends and family pretty soon after we started dating, but I didn't meet Jenna.

[00:02:11] I went to numerous social events that I'd expect her to be at, but she was never there. There were a number of occasions when our paths almost crossed and I really thought I was going to meet her.

[00:02:22] But I never did. For example, I went to their office a few times to meet Jeff after work and Jenna was already gone.

[00:02:29] Or sometimes I'd come to meet him and he'd come outside to meet me so I wouldn't have to go inside.

[00:02:36] Things started to get really weird about three months ago. Jeff and Jenna were having an open house night one evening.

[00:02:43] Jeff came over to my place after work and we had a few hours to kill before it was time to go.

[00:02:48] So we went out for dinner and then walked to the office. I was kind of expecting that I'd come in and help them set up, but when we were a block away, he started asking me if I had lots of work to do and saying there was a really nice coffee shop nearby.

[00:03:02] He actually walked me to the coffee shop and sat me down, then left to go get ready with Jenna.

[00:03:08] He told me to come to the office in an hour and a half.

[00:03:11] About half an hour before I left for the office, I texted Jeff and said I hoped everything was going well and asked if there was anything I could do.

[00:03:18] She replied and said, something's come up for Jenna and she can't be here tonight.

[00:03:23] Was getting really suspicious at this point.

[00:03:25] I went to the office half an hour later and sure enough, Jenna wasn't there.

[00:03:29] People kept asking her about her all night and Jeff told them she had a family emergency.

[00:03:35] When we walked back to the car later that night, he told me what happened.

[00:03:39] While he and Jenna were getting ready, she had a panic attack and said she was scared to meet me.

[00:03:44] She said she wouldn't be able to handle it and either had to leave or he had to tell me not to come.

[00:03:50] He told her to leave, so she did.

[00:03:53] Since then, a couple more weird things have happened.

[00:03:55] I still haven't met Jenna.

[00:03:58] Once when I was hanging out with Jeff, we went to the office so he could grab something.

[00:04:02] When we were almost there, he looked at his phone and said,

[00:04:05] Jenna's still there, let's just go for a walk.

[00:04:07] So we walked around the block for half an hour and then came back when she was gone.

[00:04:11] After that happened, I told Jeff I felt really uncomfortable with the situation.

[00:04:15] I could respect that they were friends who had dated, but the way she was acting about me was very suspicious.

[00:04:21] He apologized and said he had actually been really mad at her, but wasn't sure what to do.

[00:04:27] He also told me a couple of other weird stories about things she had done.

[00:04:30] He went to a party a few weeks ago.

[00:04:32] I didn't go.

[00:04:34] And his phone had died that night.

[00:04:36] When he got home and charged his phone, it was full of texts from Jenna saying she was outside in her car and asking if I was there or not.

[00:04:43] She actually never even ended up going to the party, simply because she didn't know if I was there or not.

[00:04:49] Now, here's the kicker.

[00:04:52] Jeff and Jenna are currently on a two-week-long camping trip.

[00:04:55] They've been planning this trip since before I met him, but considering the way she's behaved, I feel very uncomfortable about him being on this trip.

[00:05:03] I just looked at her Instagram and she's posted five new pictures of him.

[00:05:07] As awesome as Jeff is, I'm really fed up with this and I seriously consider breaking things off when he gets back.

[00:05:13] Am I being unreasonable?

[00:05:17] Nah, you're not being unreasonable because something has to happen here.

[00:05:21] And if I was in your position, I'd be like, what the fuck is going on here, you know?

[00:05:26] That you had to walk around the office for a certain amount of time so she can get out of there before you go in.

[00:05:31] It's just weird, isn't it?

[00:05:33] And now they've gone on this camping trip together.

[00:05:36] Yeah, come on now.

[00:05:38] Come on now.

[00:05:38] But a commenter says to the OP,

[00:06:01] She is, after all, his ex-girlfriend and the whole thing strikes me as a little strange.

[00:06:06] Maybe you could talk about meeting Jenna with Jeff present in a quieter, mutual place like a cafe or a restaurant.

[00:06:13] If Jeff was my boyfriend, I'd be looking for answers.

[00:06:16] Best of luck to you and please post an update.

[00:06:19] OP says it's kind of reassuring to hear that other people don't think I'm being unreasonable.

[00:06:24] I've actually asked him if he knows why she's being like this and he says he's asked her the same thing and hasn't gotten a clear answer.

[00:06:31] He said he's asked her if she still has feelings for him and she said no.

[00:06:35] They're actually already on their trip so there's not much I can do about it at this point.

[00:06:39] I think I'll try probing him a bit more when he gets back and see if he might know a bit more than he's telling me about her behavior.

[00:06:46] Another commenter says,

[00:06:47] You're not only not being unreasonable, but you have put up with it way more than most other people would have.

[00:06:53] I would have noped out of there when I found her Instagram and realized he didn't tell you that he dated her.

[00:06:58] Not to mention all the crazy over-the-top nonsense she's pulled since.

[00:07:02] And he's going on a two-week-long trip with this girl.

[00:07:05] Oh god, so much nope.

[00:07:08] OP says,

[00:07:09] Well, I'm glad that at least I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

[00:07:12] I kind of feel like I probably would have called it off already if he wasn't so great in other ways.

[00:07:17] This is seriously the best relationship I've ever had, but the whole Jenna situation is really over the top.

[00:07:24] Someone said about why OP wasn't going on the camping trip or why it wasn't cancelled.

[00:07:29] OP responds saying,

[00:07:30] I have to work and I was never invited.

[00:07:32] As far as why it wasn't cancelled?

[00:07:34] Good question.

[00:07:36] Someone says,

[00:07:37] I just broke up with my ex last week because of similar behavior.

[00:07:40] Her ex was super clingy and openly in love with her and she wanted to stay friends with him.

[00:07:45] Found out they're going on a vacation together and I straight up wasn't invited.

[00:07:50] Confronted her about it and she refused to accept it.

[00:07:52] That it was totally fucked up behavior.

[00:07:54] I dumped her.

[00:07:56] Confront your husband about this when he gets back.

[00:07:58] Don't tell him he can't be friends with her.

[00:08:00] Just tell him how it makes you feel.

[00:08:02] And if he gets defensive or tries to gaslight you, dump his ass.

[00:08:06] Don't let your SO treat you like shit because they're overly protective of an axe.

[00:08:10] This girl is very clearly obsessed with your boyfriend and her intentions cannot be platonic.

[00:08:16] Maybe your boyfriend is just a dumb idiot and needs to open his eyes.

[00:08:19] Or maybe you'll just second fiddle in his life.

[00:08:23] OP responded saying,

[00:08:25] Wow, that sounds kind of creepily similar to my situation.

[00:08:29] I'm sorry to hear about your ex.

[00:08:31] Sounds like you're better off without her.

[00:08:32] I've decided to confront him when he gets back.

[00:08:35] I really need to tell him how all of this makes me feel.

[00:08:38] I've told him it makes me uncomfortable before,

[00:08:40] but I guess I haven't said exactly how uncomfortable it makes me.

[00:08:43] I'm starting to feel like this camping trip is just unacceptable.

[00:08:47] Partially thanks to all the people that have commented here.

[00:08:50] And I shouldn't have to put up with stuff like this.

[00:08:53] So about 15 months after the original post,

[00:08:57] OP comes in with,

[00:08:59] I wrote my previous post over a year ago and a lot has happened since then.

[00:09:03] I wanted to give everyone an update,

[00:09:05] since the advice on this sub was really helpful at the time.

[00:09:08] For a few months after I wrote my OP, nothing much happened.

[00:09:12] Jeff and I continued dating and he continued being friends and partners with Jenna.

[00:09:16] I never met her, but everything else in our relationship seemed to be going so well

[00:09:21] that I decided to try to deal with it.

[00:09:23] Things got really hard, however,

[00:09:25] when I had to take a work contract 12 hours away from home for three months.

[00:09:29] I hardly saw Jeff the whole time,

[00:09:32] and I looked at Jenna's Instagram almost every day

[00:09:34] to see if she's posted more photos of them together.

[00:09:37] More often than not, she had, since I wasn't physically present.

[00:09:42] I felt like Jenna was his real girlfriend.

[00:09:44] I felt completely worthless and constantly stressed out,

[00:09:47] knowing my boyfriend was spending all his time with another woman

[00:09:50] who I already had suspicions about.

[00:09:53] While I was away for work,

[00:09:54] I decided to break up with Jeff.

[00:09:56] I broke up with him as soon as I came back,

[00:09:58] and I made it very clear that his relationship with Jenna was intolerable for me.

[00:10:03] I told him he was going to have a hard time dating anyone who wasn't her

[00:10:07] as long as she was still in his life.

[00:10:08] He kept saying he didn't understand why it was such a problem.

[00:10:12] He told me he couldn't control her behavior,

[00:10:14] but he promised me that he hadn't cheated on me.

[00:10:17] I explained to him that by allowing their friendship to continue,

[00:10:20] he was condoning her behavior.

[00:10:22] I told him I didn't even really care if he'd physically cheated or not,

[00:10:25] since it had already shown disrespect to me and our relationship.

[00:10:29] I didn't speak to him for a few months,

[00:10:31] and I went on with my life.

[00:10:32] I took another contract out of town and even considered moving permanently to another city.

[00:10:38] One night though, Jeff called me and apologized.

[00:10:41] He said he'd been thinking about our relationship a lot

[00:10:43] and realized he had been in the wrong.

[00:10:45] He said his relationship with Jenna was beginning to feel toxic to him,

[00:10:48] and he'd made arrangements to dissolve their business partnership.

[00:10:52] After that, I decided to meet up with him,

[00:10:54] not necessarily give him another chance,

[00:10:56] and discuss the situation further.

[00:10:59] When we met up, he promised to stop talking to Jenna

[00:11:01] and then followed her on all social media.

[00:11:04] As of now, he has not spoken to her in six months,

[00:11:07] and we've got him back together.

[00:11:09] We actually ran into her at a concert a few weeks ago,

[00:11:12] and they didn't even say hi to each other.

[00:11:14] I feel much more respected and confident in my relationship now.

[00:11:18] I'm not sure how I feel about that one at the end.

[00:11:20] I mean, someone suggested that Jenna was Jeff's girlfriend

[00:11:23] and OP was the side piece.

[00:11:26] That Jenna wasn't avoiding OP,

[00:11:28] Jeff was just manipulating situations

[00:11:30] to make sure his girlfriend and his side piece never met.

[00:11:34] Interesting.

[00:11:35] And just many people unsure what to make of the ending there

[00:11:40] and whether it's going to last, etc.

[00:11:43] Shaky ground, I think.

[00:11:45] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:11:48] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below,

[00:11:50] and let's move on to another story.

[00:11:56] In the place on Potsdamer Platz findest du einfach alles.

[00:12:00] Von spannender unterhaltung über erstklassige einkaufsmöglichkeiten

[00:12:03] bis hin zu einzigartiger gastronomie.

[00:12:05] Komm vorbei und genieße besondere Momente

[00:12:07] in the place on Potsdamer Platz Berlin.

[00:12:09] Alles an einem Platz.

[00:12:13] Now, our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole here.

[00:12:16] So I read it from GenTube0 and says,

[00:12:18] Am I the Arsehole here for refusing to give up my vacation day

[00:12:21] so my co-worker can go on a honeymoon?

[00:12:25] I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited,

[00:12:29] and we have to request it months in advance.

[00:12:32] I put my request in almost a year ago

[00:12:34] to take a two-week vacation during the holidays.

[00:12:37] My plan was to visit family who live out of the country,

[00:12:40] something I only get to do once every few years.

[00:12:44] Recently, a co-worker of mine who's getting married

[00:12:46] came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days

[00:12:50] so she could go on a honeymoon.

[00:12:52] She apparently didn't realize how quickly the days would fill up

[00:12:55] and waited too long to request her time off.

[00:12:57] Now, the only way she can go is if someone cancels.

[00:13:01] And since I have one of the longest vacation blocks,

[00:13:03] she came to me first.

[00:13:05] I told her I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time.

[00:13:08] This trip means a lot to me,

[00:13:10] and it's the only time I can see my family this year.

[00:13:13] She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish

[00:13:16] for not accommodating her once-in-a-lifetime event.

[00:13:19] Now, a few other co-workers are chiming in,

[00:13:22] suggesting I could be more flexible

[00:13:24] since I don't have special circumstances like a wedding.

[00:13:27] I feel bad, but I also plan this trip far in advance,

[00:13:30] and it's important to me.

[00:13:32] Am I the arsehole for not giving up my vacation

[00:13:34] so she can go on a honeymoon?

[00:13:36] Now, this is an absolute not the arsehole to me.

[00:13:39] You go see your family.

[00:13:40] You know, that's a special moment for you,

[00:13:42] which you don't need to give up.

[00:13:44] A honeymoon can happen at a different time.

[00:13:46] I've known people that's had their weddings

[00:13:48] and then have their honeymoon a year later or so.

[00:13:51] And you don't even have to give her the reason

[00:13:54] why you don't want to give up your booked vacation.

[00:13:56] That's yours.

[00:13:57] You don't need to give her the reason for it.

[00:13:59] And it would really piss me off even more,

[00:14:02] and says a lot about her character to me,

[00:14:03] that she accused you of being selfish,

[00:14:05] and then getting others involved

[00:14:08] to try and knock you down

[00:14:10] and manipulate you into doing so.

[00:14:12] It's really scummy in my opinion.

[00:14:14] Spoopy Z is not the arsehole.

[00:14:16] I'm assuming she planned her wedding for a while.

[00:14:18] It's not your problem that she didn't think ahead.

[00:14:21] Enjoy your vacation.

[00:14:23] Believe Hype says,

[00:14:24] Just say,

[00:14:25] I'm sorry my trip is non-refundable and expensive.

[00:14:27] There's no way I can undo the plans

[00:14:29] I've been making for a year.

[00:14:30] No other words necessary.

[00:14:32] It's on her.

[00:14:33] And on the company to decide

[00:14:35] if they want to make an exception

[00:14:36] for her special event she badly planned for.

[00:14:39] Edit.

[00:14:39] To those saying no is a complete sentence.

[00:14:42] Sure, absolutely.

[00:14:43] But this is not just one person,

[00:14:45] but several co-workers.

[00:14:47] Most people like to try to maintain

[00:14:49] at least neutral with their co-workers

[00:14:51] who they see daily

[00:14:52] and can have an impact on their career.

[00:14:54] So having a legit logic to politely reference

[00:14:57] can win them back to neutral

[00:14:58] and may be worth it.

[00:15:00] Yeah, that's true.

[00:15:02] Sincerely says,

[00:15:03] this is better than my answer.

[00:15:05] A honeymoon doesn't have to happen

[00:15:06] immediately after a wedding.

[00:15:08] Yes, it's hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime event.

[00:15:11] But it's not like it won't be a honeymoon anymore

[00:15:13] if they have to wait two weeks to go.

[00:15:16] Not Slothbeard says,

[00:15:17] I got married in January.

[00:15:18] We booked our honeymoon for the spring.

[00:15:20] I don't really remember why.

[00:15:22] I promise you,

[00:15:23] our honeymoon was just as romantic

[00:15:25] three months later

[00:15:26] and we are just as married

[00:15:28] over a decade later.

[00:15:29] So sometime later,

[00:15:31] OP came in with her update

[00:15:33] and says,

[00:15:34] wow,

[00:15:34] I didn't expect my post to blow up like this

[00:15:36] and I honestly can't thank you all enough

[00:15:38] for the support.

[00:15:39] I've been reading through all the comments

[00:15:41] and it's clear that a lot of you feel

[00:15:42] as strongly as I do

[00:15:43] about keeping my vacation.

[00:15:45] So after my last post,

[00:15:47] things got interesting at work.

[00:15:50] A few days after I turned down

[00:15:51] my co-worker's request,

[00:15:52] she sent a long email to me

[00:15:54] and CC'd our entire team,

[00:15:56] basically calling me out

[00:15:57] for ruining her wedding plans

[00:15:59] and labeling me as

[00:16:01] unsupportive of a once in a lifetime event.

[00:16:03] Yeah,

[00:16:04] it was a lot.

[00:16:05] I was caught off guard

[00:16:06] but I kept it professional,

[00:16:08] responded directly to her

[00:16:09] and explained why my trip

[00:16:10] was non-negotiable for me.

[00:16:13] I thought that would be the end of it.

[00:16:15] But then our boss called me in for a meeting.

[00:16:18] It turns out my co-worker

[00:16:19] had tried to go over my head

[00:16:20] and get my vacation days relocated to her.

[00:16:24] Thankfully,

[00:16:24] my boss was super understanding

[00:16:26] and confirmed that

[00:16:27] because I booked my time first,

[00:16:29] it's mine to keep.

[00:16:30] However,

[00:16:31] things got awkward

[00:16:32] when he asked if I would

[00:16:33] consider a compromise

[00:16:35] like offering her a week of my time

[00:16:37] and keeping one for myself.

[00:16:38] I stood firm,

[00:16:39] telling him that

[00:16:40] this trip is one of the few chances

[00:16:42] I have to see my family

[00:16:43] and I need the full two weeks.

[00:16:46] Since then,

[00:16:46] my co-worker has been giving me

[00:16:48] the cold shoulder

[00:16:49] and a couple of other co-workers

[00:16:50] have been dropping

[00:16:51] passive-aggressive comments.

[00:16:53] One even said,

[00:16:54] you'll probably be that person

[00:16:55] who refuses to switch shifts

[00:16:57] with a parent

[00:17:00] and I'm not going to be

[00:17:01] but here's the kicker.

[00:17:01] Another co-worker came up to me

[00:17:03] and confided that

[00:17:04] they had been pressured

[00:17:05] to switch vacation days

[00:17:06] with the same person in the past

[00:17:08] and they regretted doing it

[00:17:09] because it messed up their own plans.

[00:17:11] So now,

[00:17:12] I'm glad I stood my ground.

[00:17:14] I'm not sure

[00:17:14] what the long-term fallout

[00:17:16] of this will be

[00:17:16] but one thing is for sure,

[00:17:18] I'm not giving up my vacation.

[00:17:20] I need this time

[00:17:21] with my family more than ever

[00:17:23] and I refuse to feel guilty

[00:17:24] for prioritizing that.

[00:17:26] Also,

[00:17:27] thank you to everyone

[00:17:27] who reassured me

[00:17:28] that standing my ground

[00:17:29] wasn't selfish.

[00:17:31] It's easy to second-guess yourself

[00:17:33] when the pressure mounts

[00:17:34] but the overwhelming support here

[00:17:36] has made it clear

[00:17:37] that I'm not in the wrong.

[00:17:39] And a commenter on the back

[00:17:40] of that one says,

[00:17:41] in this day and age

[00:17:42] with a woman like that

[00:17:43] it's not a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

[00:17:46] It's just her first wedding.

[00:17:48] Not your fault

[00:17:49] that she scheduled her wedding

[00:17:51] during your vacation.

[00:17:52] She could have looked

[00:17:53] at the work schedule

[00:17:54] then planned her wedding.

[00:17:55] She was careless

[00:17:56] and you were just letting her know

[00:17:57] that the world

[00:17:58] does not revolve around her.

[00:18:00] Rocket says,

[00:18:01] tell her you might consider

[00:18:02] switching for her next wedding.

[00:18:05] 2 Bionic D says,

[00:18:07] HR,

[00:18:08] make a complaint about her behavior.

[00:18:09] CCing everyone in the office

[00:18:11] over a completely personal matter

[00:18:12] was intentionally pressuring you

[00:18:14] to do what she wants.

[00:18:15] She also pressured the other people

[00:18:17] for the holiday's meeting

[00:18:18] and has nothing to do with the wedding.

[00:18:19] It's about her,

[00:18:20] not planning

[00:18:21] and being the selfish one.

[00:18:22] If she gets fired,

[00:18:24] she wouldn't have any issues

[00:18:25] with the honeymoon.

[00:18:27] Mokalate says,

[00:18:28] I seriously hope

[00:18:28] she and the boss

[00:18:30] are reprimanded.

[00:18:31] That's ridiculous behavior.

[00:18:33] I'm glad that you stood

[00:18:34] your ground on this

[00:18:36] and it wound me up

[00:18:37] even more

[00:18:38] when your boss got involved

[00:18:39] in this trying to make you

[00:18:40] compromise on the situation.

[00:18:42] That's just such a piss take.

[00:18:44] She's doing everything she can

[00:18:45] to take that holiday

[00:18:46] away from you.

[00:18:47] She's getting other people involved,

[00:18:49] creating a hostile,

[00:18:50] hostile work environment

[00:18:51] and in my opinion,

[00:18:53] deserves to be reprimanded

[00:18:54] for that.

[00:18:55] I don't think the boss

[00:18:56] dealt with that well at all.

[00:18:58] I think they were just

[00:18:58] trying to people please

[00:18:59] and it sounds like

[00:19:01] from what OP said

[00:19:02] that this person

[00:19:03] has a history

[00:19:04] of doing this kind of behavior,

[00:19:05] pressuring people

[00:19:06] to giving up their days.

[00:19:08] I couldn't imagine

[00:19:09] being in a workplace

[00:19:10] where I've requested someone,

[00:19:12] could I swap holidays with you?

[00:19:14] They say no

[00:19:14] and then going over their head,

[00:19:16] trying to talk to the boss

[00:19:17] to have their holiday

[00:19:18] swapped by force.

[00:19:19] That's absolute madness.

[00:19:22] But now,

[00:19:23] I'm going to turn this one

[00:19:25] to you guys.

[00:19:25] What do you guys make

[00:19:26] of this situation?

[00:19:28] Let us know your thoughts

[00:19:29] down in the comments below.

[00:19:31] Now,

[00:19:32] just a huge thank you

[00:19:33] for being here today,

[00:19:34] getting involved in the stories,

[00:19:35] your love,

[00:19:36] your support,

[00:19:36] your time,

[00:19:37] always means

[00:19:38] the absolute world to me.

[00:19:39] So thank you so,

[00:19:40] so much for being involved.

[00:19:41] Truly,

[00:19:41] it means the absolute world

[00:19:42] and don't forget

[00:19:43] at the very end,

[00:19:43] there'll be a couple of playlists

[00:19:45] there that you can click on

[00:19:46] and it will automatically

[00:19:47] scroll through all the videos

[00:19:48] for you.

[00:19:49] So if you're drawing,

[00:19:50] you're doing some walking,

[00:19:51] driving,

[00:19:52] whatever you're up to,

[00:19:52] which I always love to hear,

[00:19:54] thank you so much

[00:19:54] for sharing it by the way.

[00:19:56] It will continue to do so

[00:19:57] in the background.

[00:19:58] Thank you so much

[00:19:59] and I'll see you soon.

[00:20:00] Much love.

[00:20:01] Thank you.