My Boyfriend Gave Me An ULTIMATUM Over AUDIO BOOKS?! r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider in that like, that subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:19] Now today's first story comes from the Am I the Arsehole here subreddit and says, Am I the Arsehole here for my response to my boyfriend's ultimatum over audiobooks? Interesting.

[00:00:30] My boyfriend and I have been together for around three years. And we've had a pretty easy going relationship. No big fights or anything. Until now. Which is why I'm questioning myself so much.

[00:00:43] So, I listen to audiobooks. Not erotic ones, though I do partake in audio only porn sometimes. Because as becomes important later, I have a thing for nice voices.

[00:00:54] But somehow, someone just reading smut off a page feels weird for me to listen to. No judgement to anyone else, of course. Just not my thing.

[00:01:02] My boyfriend has recently gotten a bug up his arse about me listening to them. Especially when he's home. Even though I always use headphones. And do my best not to disturb him.

[00:01:14] As before anyone says it, my Audible account comes directly out of my own bank account. He has no reason to think it will affect his finances.

[00:01:21] Anyway, he only ever gave little snide remarks until the latest time. So, I let it go.

[00:01:27] Most recently, I had been making us dinner. And cleaning up behind myself as I did it.

[00:01:33] And because he was playing video games and I get bored doing those kind of things without something else to think about.

[00:01:38] I turned on my favorite audiobook. And picked up where I'd been listening the week before.

[00:01:43] I didn't realize he was in the kitchen until he jerked the cord on my headphones. And asked if I was doing it again.

[00:01:50] I asked what he was talking about. And he just sighed. And said that he needed to talk to me.

[00:01:56] We sat down. And I'll admit, I was pretty pissed he had jerked on my headphones. And not super willing to listen to anything right then.

[00:02:03] Another reason I might be an arsehole.

[00:02:05] He said that it really bothered him when I listened to audiobooks from a man's perspective.

[00:02:10] Oh.

[00:02:11] Because he knows about my voice thing. And that makes him uncomfortable.

[00:02:16] I asked why. And he said that he couldn't get out of his head that I was thinking sexual things about the characters.

[00:02:22] And that, that along with the romantic elements made him really upset.

[00:02:26] And felt almost like I wasn't fully committed to him.

[00:02:30] I asked if he realized I was listening to a book for teens.

[00:02:33] Written by a literal Mormon.

[00:02:35] And that none of the books I listened to have smut.

[00:02:38] He said that it didn't matter.

[00:02:40] And started getting angry again.

[00:02:41] Which just made me angrier.

[00:02:43] And he dropped the ultimatum that he wanted me to stop.

[00:02:47] Or else he would need to break up.

[00:02:49] I was so pissed at this point that I just shrugged and said,

[00:02:52] Gladly.

[00:02:53] The minute you stop watching porn, I'll never touch any of it again.

[00:02:57] Which had him pissed.

[00:02:58] Because he claimed he never said anything about porn.

[00:03:01] Only the romantic and sexual parts of the book I listened to.

[00:03:05] I said that if he was allowed to make ultimatums of favorite pastimes, why can't I?

[00:03:11] Then I asked if he would rather give up video games.

[00:03:13] Since that's closer to what audiobooks mean to me.

[00:03:16] He ended up just saying to fucking forget it.

[00:03:19] And went to bed.

[00:03:21] But has been pissed at me since.

[00:03:23] I talked to my friends about the situation.

[00:03:25] And got mixed answers.

[00:03:26] So I wanted to try with strangers as well.

[00:03:29] Holy shit.

[00:03:31] Those red flags are red flagging.

[00:03:33] That's for sure.

[00:03:34] He can watch literal porn.

[00:03:35] But you're not allowed to listen to an audiobook voiced by a male.

[00:03:40] Ugh.

[00:03:41] And in the end.

[00:03:42] When you went to have a conversation about it.

[00:03:45] And you basically put it back in his court.

[00:03:47] He told you to fucking forget it.

[00:03:49] And has been pissed at you since.

[00:03:50] You know.

[00:03:51] It says it all to me really.

[00:03:53] Wailing Wonder says to the OP.

[00:03:54] He's crazy.

[00:03:55] And anyone that tells you otherwise is crazy.

[00:03:58] You were cooking and cleaning while he was playing.

[00:04:00] If he's so insecure about a random guy reading a book.

[00:04:03] Then maybe he could have been in there working on dinner with you.

[00:04:06] You were being neglected.

[00:04:07] So of course you got bored.

[00:04:08] No.

[00:04:09] Sure.

[00:04:09] It's okay for one person to work while the other chills.

[00:04:12] As long as it's not always the same person.

[00:04:14] And as long as it works for the relationship.

[00:04:16] He could have kept you company.

[00:04:17] He could have been the voice in your ear.

[00:04:20] He could have fought his insecurity by coming up behind you and kissing your neck.

[00:04:23] And taking your mind off the book.

[00:04:25] Something sexy.

[00:04:26] But he decided the best choice was to be as unsexy as possible.

[00:04:30] And aggressively jerk your headphones and whine.

[00:04:33] You can see the red flags right OP.

[00:04:35] You don't need us right.

[00:04:37] Not the arsehole.

[00:04:38] OP says I usually cook for us.

[00:04:41] He can't cook worth a damn.

[00:04:42] And I enjoy it.

[00:04:43] So I do that.

[00:04:44] He does other chores though.

[00:04:46] I hate doing anything in the bathroom.

[00:04:48] But he doesn't mind.

[00:04:49] So anything to do with that is his.

[00:04:51] And he takes care of the garbage in the car.

[00:04:53] I mostly handle anything in the kitchen and laundry and such.

[00:04:57] I wish he would do something like that.

[00:04:59] Huh.

[00:04:59] But he's not spontaneous or really romantic.

[00:05:02] I don't mind it really.

[00:05:04] Most guys aren't.

[00:05:05] And he's great in other aspects.

[00:05:07] When it comes to red flags.

[00:05:08] I didn't think of it that way.

[00:05:10] But I can tell you it certainly made my temper spike in a way.

[00:05:13] It hasn't since I was in high school.

[00:05:15] Weiling replies to OP again and says.

[00:05:18] I'm not using Reddit's favorite word.

[00:05:20] Run.

[00:05:21] But he was acting crazy.

[00:05:23] My point wasn't really about the division of labor.

[00:05:25] I didn't know what that was between you two.

[00:05:28] But more about what he could do to try and overcome his insecurities.

[00:05:31] And try to give you a chance to show him that you are fully committed.

[00:05:35] If he lets his insecurities consume him.

[00:05:37] And takes it out on you.

[00:05:39] Then that's just going to get worse and more toxic over time.

[00:05:42] Maybe this argument will end up blowing over.

[00:05:44] And you'll forget it and never deal with this problem again.

[00:05:48] But if you were my in real life friend.

[00:05:50] Then I'd be a bit worried for you.

[00:05:52] He needs to figure out how to deal with these feelings.

[00:05:54] And how to communicate properly.

[00:05:56] OP replies to him.

[00:05:57] That's fair.

[00:05:58] I do try very hard to show my commitment to him.

[00:06:01] But there may be some wires crossing in our communication.

[00:06:04] I'm an acts of service person.

[00:06:06] More than anything including words.

[00:06:08] But maybe I can try something else.

[00:06:10] If he needs to hear me say the things I'm feeling out loud.

[00:06:13] More often than I do now.

[00:06:15] Then I can do that.

[00:06:16] I don't mind changing tactics to make him more secure in the relationship.

[00:06:20] If that's what he needs.

[00:06:21] I don't mean to make him feel insecure.

[00:06:24] The more I think about my reaction.

[00:06:25] The more guilty I feel.

[00:06:27] Because at first it was.

[00:06:28] How dare he try to take things away from me.

[00:06:31] But now it's more sure.

[00:06:33] That was a shitty way to bring it up.

[00:06:34] But it sounds like he's been really bothered.

[00:06:36] And I just got defensive and mean.

[00:06:37] Instead of listening to him at all.

[00:06:40] But then I get mad about the jerking my headphones thing again.

[00:06:42] I really don't know why.

[00:06:44] But that shit made my blood boil.

[00:06:46] It's complicated.

[00:06:47] And it's hard for me to know what to do.

[00:06:50] And one more comment with a response from Beheld C.

[00:06:53] Who says.

[00:06:53] This is a big red flag to me.

[00:06:56] Is he so insecure that he can't stand the idea of you listening to.

[00:07:00] Another man.

[00:07:01] You weren't even listening to anything provocative.

[00:07:03] When he did this.

[00:07:04] And he had that kind of reaction.

[00:07:06] Where is all his anger coming from?

[00:07:09] The fact that he dropped an ultimatum.

[00:07:11] Books for fuck's sake.

[00:07:13] Or breaking up.

[00:07:14] Is insane to me.

[00:07:15] This seems like such an odd thing for him to want to have control over.

[00:07:18] You're wearing headphones.

[00:07:20] Not listening to it on speakerphone.

[00:07:22] And you're minding your own business.

[00:07:23] And he has the audacity to be upset you're doing that.

[00:07:26] Personally.

[00:07:27] I would cut ties.

[00:07:27] But if you feel like he's a good partner to you in other aspects.

[00:07:30] And he isn't controlling about other things you do.

[00:07:33] I.e.

[00:07:33] What you wear.

[00:07:34] Who you hang out with.

[00:07:35] Etc.

[00:07:36] Then maybe try talking it out when he's calm.

[00:07:39] Opie said.

[00:07:40] He did try to explain that he felt as if I was.

[00:07:42] I reacted to the romantic parts in ways I don't react to him.

[00:07:46] Which almost made sense.

[00:07:48] But then all I can think of is.

[00:07:49] Yeah.

[00:07:49] Of course I do.

[00:07:50] This kind of romantic thing doesn't exist in real life.

[00:07:53] And I don't expect it to.

[00:07:55] But to hear about it.

[00:07:56] Is enough to make me blush or laugh.

[00:07:58] Because it's cute.

[00:07:59] I've never expected him to be an over the top romantic.

[00:08:03] I don't think I would enjoy it in real life.

[00:08:05] It would more than likely overwhelm me.

[00:08:07] But I do like to hear about it I guess.

[00:08:10] This part does make me feel a little bad.

[00:08:12] Because at the time.

[00:08:13] I was so angry about the headphone pulling.

[00:08:15] I don't know why it set me off so bad.

[00:08:17] No one has ever done it to me before.

[00:08:19] But for some reason.

[00:08:21] It had me pissed.

[00:08:22] I couldn't even react to it like I should have.

[00:08:24] I honestly maybe should have asked to wait.

[00:08:27] The more I think about it.

[00:08:28] But I don't know why it's so bad.

[00:08:29] So OP shortly came in with her update.

[00:08:32] And said so it's been a while.

[00:08:33] I didn't think I would update.

[00:08:35] Because the original update.

[00:08:36] Would have been mostly us talking and working things out.

[00:08:39] Agreeing that whenever he felt insecure.

[00:08:41] He could tell me.

[00:08:42] And I could focus my attention on him for a while.

[00:08:45] It worked really great.

[00:08:46] Well until I found out.

[00:08:48] He'd been fucking his co-worker that is.

[00:08:50] I don't have the details.

[00:08:52] I don't want the details.

[00:08:53] But he admitted to it in the end.

[00:08:55] So he did it.

[00:08:57] That's enough.

[00:08:57] He wanted to work it out and apologize.

[00:09:00] Begged for a second chance.

[00:09:01] But honestly the idea that he said a word to me about an audio book about Edward freaking Cullen.

[00:09:07] While he was getting strange on the side.

[00:09:10] It killed any opportunity for forgiveness I had inside of me.

[00:09:13] It was so ridiculous.

[00:09:15] I love thinking about it now.

[00:09:17] And it's been a month since we broke up.

[00:09:19] Like it makes me feel insane.

[00:09:21] It is so funny.

[00:09:23] He was yelling at me.

[00:09:24] For listening to a book about Mormon vampires.

[00:09:27] While he was cheating on me.

[00:09:28] I cannot make this shit up.

[00:09:31] 100 points to whoever said projection the first time I posted.

[00:09:34] I can't remember if it was a comment or a message.

[00:09:36] But you were right.

[00:09:38] I wish I had a cookie.

[00:09:40] Thanks for the help anyway.

[00:09:41] Even if the relationship is bust now.

[00:09:43] I really do appreciate you all.

[00:09:46] Lots of comments below this one saying.

[00:09:49] Every accusation from a narcissist is a confession.

[00:09:52] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:09:57] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:00] And let's move on to another story.

[00:10:21] Now our next story comes from emptychemist992.

[00:10:28] And says am I the arsehole here for telling my sister.

[00:10:31] I don't know if I love her.

[00:10:32] After finding out about her five year affair.

[00:10:35] My sister 32 moved in with me.

[00:10:38] Because she got pregnant five months ago.

[00:10:40] From what she claimed was a one night stand.

[00:10:42] I love my sister.

[00:10:44] So of course I took her in.

[00:10:46] My husband is overseas for six more months.

[00:10:48] So it was nice to have her around.

[00:10:50] Because I care about her very much.

[00:10:52] On Monday I came home.

[00:10:54] And saw my sister and a strange woman.

[00:10:56] In a screaming match on my doorstep.

[00:10:58] I obviously didn't know what was happening.

[00:11:00] But I saw the woman poking my pregnant sister's shoulder.

[00:11:03] So I intervened.

[00:11:05] I sent my sister inside.

[00:11:06] And she begged me to send the woman away.

[00:11:08] I didn't understand what was going on.

[00:11:10] But I wanted the altercation to end.

[00:11:12] For everyone's sake.

[00:11:13] So I told the woman as much.

[00:11:15] Then she started screaming.

[00:11:17] Asking me if I was also sleeping with her husband.

[00:11:20] I was like what?

[00:11:22] And then she basically revealed.

[00:11:24] That my sister had been having an affair with her husband.

[00:11:26] For five years.

[00:11:28] Five years.

[00:11:29] She had everything printed out.

[00:11:32] Chats.

[00:11:32] Photos.

[00:11:33] Emails.

[00:11:33] Receipts.

[00:11:34] It was disturbing to see.

[00:11:36] And I didn't want to go through it all.

[00:11:37] But a few things were established.

[00:11:40] One.

[00:11:40] My sister knew about his wife.

[00:11:42] She knew she was the mistress.

[00:11:45] And liked it.

[00:11:46] Two.

[00:11:46] This woman was a stay at home mom.

[00:11:48] To their four kids.

[00:11:49] One of whom has a severe disability.

[00:11:52] From a car accident.

[00:11:53] Three.

[00:11:54] Her husband knew about my sister's pregnancy.

[00:11:56] And even took her on a baby moon.

[00:11:58] To celebrate it.

[00:12:00] I'm going to assume that's like a honeymoon.

[00:12:02] Like a last trip before having baby.

[00:12:04] Never heard of that before.

[00:12:06] Learned something new every day.

[00:12:08] Four.

[00:12:09] The affair had been going on the entire time.

[00:12:11] With my sister believing.

[00:12:13] He would eventually leave his wife for her.

[00:12:15] Five.

[00:12:16] My sister had fully embraced the role of being the other woman.

[00:12:19] And was emotionally invested in their relationship.

[00:12:22] Despite his repeated lies.

[00:12:23] About leaving his wife.

[00:12:25] I told the woman I was very sorry.

[00:12:27] And I obviously didn't know.

[00:12:29] But I asked her to leave.

[00:12:31] Because this wasn't going anywhere.

[00:12:32] And I didn't want the neighbors to call the police.

[00:12:35] She was furious.

[00:12:36] But gave me her number on her post-it.

[00:12:38] Begging me.

[00:12:39] Not to let her husband stay at my house.

[00:12:41] I assured her that no man was stepping foot in my home.

[00:12:44] My sister was begging me not to believe the woman.

[00:12:47] Calling her a vindictive ex-wife.

[00:12:49] I told her.

[00:12:50] Alright then.

[00:12:51] Let's look up the marriage online.

[00:12:53] Let's see if a motion for dissolution.

[00:12:54] Of marriage was ever submitted.

[00:12:57] We fought hard.

[00:12:58] My sister kept saying I would never understand.

[00:13:00] And that they loved each other.

[00:13:02] But he just couldn't leave his wife.

[00:13:03] Blah blah blah.

[00:13:05] I called her dumb and naive.

[00:13:07] The next day I told her.

[00:13:08] She could stay here.

[00:13:09] But I didn't want her to become a financial burden.

[00:13:12] On that woman in any way.

[00:13:13] But I also told her that.

[00:13:15] Right now.

[00:13:15] I didn't want to engage with her.

[00:13:17] My sister asked me if I still loved her.

[00:13:19] And I told her honestly.

[00:13:20] Right now.

[00:13:21] I can't say that I do.

[00:13:23] I will always help my nephew.

[00:13:24] And not endanger you.

[00:13:26] But I can't like you.

[00:13:27] Because you've shown me.

[00:13:28] You're not a trustworthy person.

[00:13:30] I told her.

[00:13:30] I didn't trust her.

[00:13:31] Not to try anything with my husband.

[00:13:33] And I didn't trust her.

[00:13:34] With anything at all.

[00:13:35] So I made her sign.

[00:13:36] A tenants agreement.

[00:13:37] She's been begging me.

[00:13:38] To forgive her.

[00:13:39] And I told her.

[00:13:40] There's nothing to forgive.

[00:13:41] I just don't know who she is anymore.

[00:13:43] Am I.

[00:13:44] The arsehole here.

[00:13:46] I just feel incredibly sorry.

[00:13:48] For the wife in this situation.

[00:13:49] Who's had her whole life.

[00:13:51] Turned upside down.

[00:13:52] Poor children.

[00:13:53] And an untrustworthy husband.

[00:13:55] Who's betrayed her.

[00:13:56] In the worst possible way.

[00:13:58] And I honestly can't blame you.

[00:13:59] For feeling the way you do.

[00:14:01] In this.

[00:14:01] Once trust is gone.

[00:14:02] In a relationship.

[00:14:03] You know.

[00:14:04] It's very hard.

[00:14:05] To build that back up.

[00:14:06] But you know.

[00:14:06] How someone has acted.

[00:14:07] And she's begging you.

[00:14:09] To forgive her.

[00:14:10] But she doesn't really seem to care.

[00:14:11] And I know it's hard.

[00:14:12] Because you know.

[00:14:13] This is text format.

[00:14:14] We're seeing a very small part.

[00:14:15] Of someone's life.

[00:14:16] But she doesn't really seem to care.

[00:14:18] About what she's done.

[00:14:20] And the husband of course.

[00:14:22] And those are just your feelings.

[00:14:24] On the matter.

[00:14:24] Why would you like someone like that.

[00:14:26] In that moment.

[00:14:27] So of course.

[00:14:28] You're going to be questioning.

[00:14:30] Your relationship with her.

[00:14:32] And I think you're being more than generous.

[00:14:34] In what you're doing as well.

[00:14:35] By giving her a place to stay.

[00:14:37] And saying that.

[00:14:37] You know.

[00:14:38] You're not going to chuck her out.

[00:14:39] Etc.

[00:14:39] Which.

[00:14:40] From the comments I'm seeing.

[00:14:41] Most people.

[00:14:42] A lot of people.

[00:14:43] Would have done so.

[00:14:44] Beauty Joy says.

[00:14:45] Not the arsehole.

[00:14:46] Your sister's actions.

[00:14:47] Were incredibly hurtful.

[00:14:48] And harmful.

[00:14:49] It's understandable.

[00:14:50] That you need time.

[00:14:51] To process this.

[00:14:52] And decide.

[00:14:53] Whether you can rebuild trust.

[00:14:54] With her.

[00:14:55] Dragonfly Girl says.

[00:14:56] I've been where that poor wife is.

[00:14:58] It's the worst feeling.

[00:14:59] In the world.

[00:15:00] Years later.

[00:15:01] I still wonder.

[00:15:02] How the chick was so naive.

[00:15:03] And fucking careless.

[00:15:04] We weren't friends.

[00:15:06] But she knew of me.

[00:15:07] And she believed his lies.

[00:15:08] That we're unhappy.

[00:15:09] And we're separating.

[00:15:11] They always believe the lies.

[00:15:12] And believe they're the special one.

[00:15:14] He will be with forever.

[00:15:16] Well.

[00:15:16] I kicked him out.

[00:15:17] And they lasted a few months.

[00:15:18] Before he was calling.

[00:15:19] Telling me.

[00:15:20] She was crazy.

[00:15:21] Surprise.

[00:15:22] Surprise.

[00:15:22] That's one of the lies.

[00:15:23] He told her about me.

[00:15:24] And also told me about literally.

[00:15:26] Every one of his exes.

[00:15:28] So yeah.

[00:15:28] Giant shock.

[00:15:30] Sorry for the rambling.

[00:15:31] OP.

[00:15:32] You are very much not the asshole.

[00:15:34] Your sister is just another sad delusional homewrecker.

[00:15:37] I'm sorry you have to live with that knowledge now.

[00:15:40] Keep her away from your husband.

[00:15:42] Edit.

[00:15:42] Even if you trust your husband completely.

[00:15:44] Don't put him in that position to have to defend himself.

[00:15:47] And fend her off if something happens.

[00:15:49] Luna Eclipse says not the asshole.

[00:15:52] OP.

[00:15:52] Not only was it shitty for her not to come clean to you after all you did.

[00:15:56] But she very easily could be putting you in danger.

[00:15:59] I have no idea if this man or his wife may become unhinged.

[00:16:03] She already showed up at your house.

[00:16:04] You expecting him to visit?

[00:16:07] OP says literally yes.

[00:16:08] That was also what I said when she was like.

[00:16:11] He would never do that.

[00:16:12] Blah blah blah.

[00:16:13] Kaz says not the asshole.

[00:16:15] My longest friend was a married man hunter.

[00:16:18] My mother was the same.

[00:16:19] Women like this especially when they get pregnant are good at being the victim.

[00:16:23] Fuck up a kid too.

[00:16:25] Crit replies that saying.

[00:16:26] Knowing that there's women out there who actively seek out married men is literally nauseating.

[00:16:31] There's been a few who have consistently attempted to get with my husband over the almost 20 years we've been together.

[00:16:36] And it always pissed me off.

[00:16:38] Slash drove me crazy.

[00:16:39] Slash hurt me etc etc.

[00:16:42] My husband would never reciprocate and shut it down every time.

[00:16:45] But god damn.

[00:16:46] Just knowing that they won't stop trying is horrible.

[00:16:48] And if that's not bad enough.

[00:16:50] When I was in the hospital with meningitis dying.

[00:16:53] Like actually they jumped me back twice.

[00:16:55] And they told my husband to say his goodbyes because I likely wasn't going to make it through the night.

[00:16:59] Word got out to a few of these women.

[00:17:01] They used that word loosely.

[00:17:03] And they came at him harder than they ever had.

[00:17:06] To the point where one of them got his number from someone and sent him a bunch of unsolicited nudes.

[00:17:10] People like Opie's sister are the fucking worst.

[00:17:15] What the hell crit?

[00:17:17] That comment is crazy.

[00:17:19] Imagine discovering that the dude's wife could be potentially passing away at any moment.

[00:17:24] And thinking shit I need to get his number to send him some nudes right away.

[00:17:28] How unhinged do you have to be to have that mindset?

[00:17:32] Holy shit.

[00:17:33] So Opie came into the post to update and said first I'd like to clarify a few things.

[00:17:38] I'm not going to tell my sister to get rid of the baby.

[00:17:40] That's not my place.

[00:17:41] And I would never suggest such a thing.

[00:17:43] Also I'm not going to install tracking software on her phone or demand access to other devices.

[00:17:49] That's invasive and wrong.

[00:17:51] I've been thinking a lot.

[00:17:53] And while I can't say that I don't love my sister.

[00:17:55] It's very hard to feel that love right now.

[00:17:58] I don't know who she is anymore.

[00:18:00] It's not just that she lied to me.

[00:18:02] It's what she did and how she convinced me that she was justified because they were in love.

[00:18:07] She brought chaos into my home that I opened up to her.

[00:18:11] I'm deeply disappointed in her and I just don't like her at the moment.

[00:18:15] I'm letting her stay with me because I don't want her to become dependent on him.

[00:18:19] I don't think he's a good man either.

[00:18:21] And as a social worker I've seen these scenarios too many times.

[00:18:24] My sister is already deluded.

[00:18:27] I don't need to open the door to a dependency that's also financial.

[00:18:31] Now onto the update.

[00:18:33] I haven't been punishing my sister.

[00:18:35] But I've been treating her like a roommate.

[00:18:37] This is driving her crazy.

[00:18:39] She's begging me to go back to how things were before but I can't.

[00:18:43] I told her that I need time and that things can't just return to normal overnight.

[00:18:48] She tried to explain how it all happened.

[00:18:50] She admitted that she always knew he was married but believed she could tell how unhappy he was

[00:18:55] and felt he deserved to be happy.

[00:18:57] They met at a bar a few weeks after his son's accident.

[00:19:00] He told her that his wife hadn't touched him since it happened and that he was about to explode.

[00:19:05] I asked her why she would involve herself with a married man knowing the hurt it would cause.

[00:19:10] She said she wanted to be a wife and a good mom and that included his kids.

[00:19:14] She'd hoped he would divorce his wife so they could all move on and finally be happy together.

[00:19:19] I just stared at her unable to comprehend how she would rationalize her actions.

[00:19:24] A few days later he appeared at our house claiming he'd left his wife

[00:19:28] and wanted to be with my sister.

[00:19:30] I told him to leave immediately or I would call the police.

[00:19:33] My sister was furious with me, accusing me of ruining her chance at happiness.

[00:19:38] I made it clear to her, if he comes over again, I will evict her.

[00:19:42] She's free to date anyone she wants but not under my roof.

[00:19:45] They also told her that if she plans to have him around after the baby is born,

[00:19:49] she'll need to find her own place.

[00:19:51] Word has gotten around our community about the affair.

[00:19:54] While we were grocery shopping, a woman even spat on my sister.

[00:19:58] Many of her friends have cut ties with her, calling her a homewrecker.

[00:20:02] Some are married themselves and don't want her near their husbands.

[00:20:06] Haven't said I told you so even once.

[00:20:09] We unexpectedly ran into his wife at a local cafe.

[00:20:11] My sister wanted to apologize and suggested that maybe they could all have a good relationship

[00:20:16] for the sake of the kids.

[00:20:17] The wife laughed coldly and said,

[00:20:20] You made your choices, now live with them.

[00:20:22] Don't expect me to make this easier for you.

[00:20:25] My sister is devastated and has been lying in her bed ever since.

[00:20:28] I'm taking care of her physical needs,

[00:20:31] making sure she eats, stays hydrated, and attends her prenatal appointments.

[00:20:35] But I can't bring myself to comfort her emotionally.

[00:20:38] I just don't have it in me right now.

[00:20:40] Jem Angle says to the OP,

[00:20:42] You're not the arsehole for feeling hurt and setting boundaries.

[00:20:44] Your sister made her choices and now she has to face the consequences.

[00:20:49] Drunk on Red Cordial says,

[00:20:51] They met at a bar a few weeks after his son's accident.

[00:20:53] He told her that his wife hadn't touched him since it happened

[00:20:56] and that's when he was about to explode.

[00:20:58] And that was a quote obviously.

[00:20:59] And then says,

[00:21:00] Wow, what a catch.

[00:21:01] Any parent will know the trauma of having to go without sex

[00:21:04] after one of your kids has been seriously injured.

[00:21:07] Andrew says,

[00:21:08] Imagine getting successfully rizzed up by,

[00:21:10] I'm about to explode.

[00:21:12] Lol.

[00:21:13] Ladybug says,

[00:21:14] Imagine being more concerned about his dick and not his child.

[00:21:17] How she found that attractive, I'll never know.

[00:21:21] Admiral Porkloin says,

[00:21:22] In quotes,

[00:21:23] He appeared at our house,

[00:21:24] claiming he had left his wife and wanted to be with my sister.

[00:21:27] And then says,

[00:21:27] Uh-huh.

[00:21:28] Sure, he left his wife after five years.

[00:21:31] Coincidentally, at the moment, she discovered everything.

[00:21:33] I'm completely sure it's not the wife who dumped him.

[00:21:36] Slash sarcasm.

[00:21:37] And OP said,

[00:21:38] I think the same thing.

[00:21:40] Imagine telling that story that,

[00:21:42] of how they met to someone,

[00:21:45] and thinking that's going to absolve you of any wrongdoing.

[00:21:48] That you knew he was married.

[00:21:50] That you knew one of his children had a severe accident

[00:21:52] that's left him severely disabled.

[00:21:55] Family's clearly going through a hell of a time.

[00:21:59] And this dude sat at the bar talking about

[00:22:01] how he's about to explode.

[00:22:04] Fucking hell.

[00:22:05] And then somehow thinking,

[00:22:06] This is the man for me.

[00:22:08] What the fuck?

[00:22:09] I like that OP's keeping their boundaries in this situation though.

[00:22:13] That they're sticking to their guns with it.

[00:22:15] Even though that they're helping their sister

[00:22:17] physically with like the baby stuff going on.

[00:22:20] Making sure that they're eating and stuff.

[00:22:21] Many people would say,

[00:22:22] you know,

[00:22:22] just completely cut ties.

[00:22:24] And not wanting her to become dependent

[00:22:25] on this guy at the same time.

[00:22:28] Especially financial.

[00:22:29] Now,

[00:22:30] I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:22:32] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:35] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:39] Just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:22:41] Getting involved in the stories you'll love.

[00:22:42] You'll support your time.

[00:22:44] Always means the absolute world to me.

[00:22:46] Thank you so,

[00:22:46] so much.

[00:22:47] And hopefully,

[00:22:47] I'll see you in the next one.

[00:22:49] Take care.

[00:22:50] And much love.

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