My Boyfriend ERASED My Whiteboard With My Novel Timeline On It r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now, today's first story comes from TenPoint Font who says, My 28 female, boyfriend 30 male, erased the whiteboard I had my novel timeline on. I've been working on a novel for about a year. I write every day, even just a sentence. Six months ago, my college switched to smart boards and put all their whiteboards in the garbage. I grabbed two because I have a huge wall space open in my living room. Most of my writing is done on my Google Drive, but I have things like character personality.

[00:00:48] I used to write a lot of personalities, names, places, a general timeline, etc. You know, stuff I want to remember. I used to take photos of it so I had my ideas with me. I used to write on my lunch break. I stopped doing that because I burned myself out and my writing quality takes a huge dive. Plus, my boyfriend helps me write and it helps us connect in such a deep way. So, I haven't taken a photo in about three months. The whiteboards are nice because I can read my notes across the room while I'm sitting in my

[00:01:18] favorite chair. I got home last night and all my stuff was erased. It was all train of thought. Like, I'd come home and jot something down. Handwriting is way more cathartic for me. I'd sketch the things in the novel. I'd basically have to go through and remember every single thing on it. I have a lot of it stored in my head or on my Google Drive, but there are some things I'll never get back.

[00:01:42] But it's the fact that he erased it. We didn't live together. He told me I've been focusing too much on it and have no time for him. We hang out at my house five to six nights a week. I write while he plays video games. It's a good dynamic and I thought we enjoyed it. We're always laughing and he helps me with my wording and I Google stuff to help him in his game. This is the first time he's mentioned it bothering him.

[00:02:07] If he had brought it up, we could have talked about it, but he went nuclear and I have no idea why. I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated. We've had one serious argument over his driving. He got better. My family took him on vacation a few weeks ago. We watch his nephew all the time. His family paid for my entire spring semester. We are so much of a part of each other's lives and I feel so hurt and heartbroken.

[00:02:33] He's my muse and just the other day we went to the jewelry store to look at rings. My feelings rotate between rage, sadness, confusion, sorrow, anger, everything. How do I even approach this? Last night I was so upset I asked him to leave. He hasn't text. He hasn't called. He hasn't stopped by. I keep typing in questions to ask, but I keep erasing them.

[00:02:56] Why did you do it? You're unhappy with our relationship. What did I do? I'm even more heartbroken due to the fact that he hasn't called or text all day. I'm afraid to call him. I don't want to hear him say he thinks we should break up or he doesn't want to be with me when I'm writing or just ignore my call.

[00:03:15] That's such a crappy thing to do to someone that you love. Like, you know that they've got this hobby and you decide to destroy something, their ideas, because you don't like that they're spending so much time with it rather than talk it out. You know, it's a really worrying step that he's taken there. His very first thought instead of speaking to you about it was to destroy something that you love. Something that he clearly knows is your hobby and you've taken time and effort to put into and he wanted that gone.

[00:03:44] I'd be questioning any other previous behavior, even though OP said that, you know, everything seemed perfect up until that. But the commenter says, holy crap, as a fellow writer, I'd be livid if I were you. This is the first time he's mentioned it bothering him. If this is true and he jumps straight to sabotage, this is fucked up. It's messed up regardless because I'm sure your boyfriend knows how important this work is to you. Like, for him to not try to talk to you about this after three years is mind-boggling.

[00:04:14] Who does this? Text him the dreaded, we need to talk message. Ask him when he's available and have him come over to use his words like a goddamn adult. Also, take his key away or change your locks if you don't want to be that upfront about it. He lost his privileges. To be honest though, in all sincerity, I don't know if this is something I could move past. It comes off as so cruel. He knew exactly what he was doing and he chose to go into your home when you weren't there because he knew he was doing something wrong.

[00:04:44] Either knows he fucked up or he feels as though he's in the right and that's why he hasn't reached out to you. I'm shocked and appalled on your behalf, OP. The Darkest Beer says to OP, this was an unbelievably fucked up way to deal with those feelings. I hate your boyfriend right now. Remembering Little Women when Amy burned Joe's books because Joe wouldn't let her come to the theater with her. That was pretty messed up but ultimately, Amy was a child and she would grow up and be better.

[00:05:11] Your boyfriend can't do better than the most hated March sister. He's showing you that when he doesn't get his way, he will punish you and destroy the things you care about. This isn't an isolated incident. It's an important piece of information about his character. If he comes back with a massive apology and a plan for how he's going to deal with his feelings in the future in a non-destructive way, then maybe I'd say it's worth a conversation about continuing this relationship. OP says,

[00:05:39] I haven't read Little Women but I ordered it for my Kindle. It's just so out of the blue, part of me wonders if there's something going on with him beyond what he said. I don't know. Bubblegum Cannibal says, This is really fucked up. That's another fellow writer. Honestly, it would have broken down. There's so much work just down the drain just because you wanted to get your work completed. It's ridiculous. Honestly, if it were me, I'd have to fist fight the guy after I stopped crying over destroyed work.

[00:06:07] Going with what the other user said, definitely take his key away. There's no doghouse or you can get this back when you earn it about it. I've personally been in the situation where I've had my old novella notebooks used in a grill fire and with truth, I've never accepted the apologies. The person isn't even a friend to me anymore. Not saying you should dump him or break ties with him in general. Oh no, not at all. However, I do say there should be a conversation about the relationship in here somewhere.

[00:06:34] If he can't handle you being immersed in something you've put years into, something you love, he's not ready to date any type of creator. To be quite honest, it's scary that he honestly thought that destroying anything that looked remotely important was the best thing to do in the situation. But when you regain yourself, try and retrace your steps now that he's hiding from you. Try and rebalance your world building. Some new things might even come out of it. Keep your head up, friend,

[00:07:01] and hopefully you can pull back some information and crawl back from there. It'd be difficult, but you can do it, Opie. Opie replied to that saying he stood there and he seemed so, I don't know, proud, happy, vindicated. I've had my jaw dropped once before in my entire life. To the ventriloquist girl who was on America's Got Talent. I didn't know it was an actual feeling of shock and awe. It did last night right before I blanked out and woke up face down on my bed asking him to leave.

[00:07:31] Opie then added an edit to the post saying, holy cuss you guys, I'm absolutely overwhelmed. I'm not even sure what to say. I asked her girlfriend if I could come over and talk. So we're getting some wine and a pizza. So around three months later, Opie came in with an update and said, it's been about three months since I made my post. Somehow seems like it got really long. The night I made my post, I went to a friend's house and she ordered a pizza. We got ice cream and had a bottle of wine.

[00:08:00] She's a straight shooter, takes a neutral approach, and she gives solid relationship advice. So I felt comfortable talking to her about everything. She couldn't figure out why he had done it. He went over how he and I hung out, how much he seemed to care about me, how much we looked into each other's eyes, but it also revealed a lot of hesitation on my part. I'm a positive person and tend to forgive faults or overlook them. I suspect there's some sort of coping method from my childhood.

[00:08:28] We had some unresolved issues I think he was holding in, but when I'd bring them up, he'd just get kind of salty and go, it's fine, I don't care anymore. But he'd bring them up in arguments. I didn't realize how toxic it was. That same night, I told him I was coming over the next day to talk about things. I told him I'd be over around 11 and the only thing he texted me was, okay, which I didn't respond to. I went over to his house at 11 and he was still asleep. He got upset when I woke him up.

[00:08:56] It took the wind out of my sails. On a good day, I cry if something upsets me. But I was so angry and heartbroken, I couldn't even think. I left without saying a word to him. He didn't follow me. On my way out, I went to the kitchen and took my house key from his key ring. I drove home in a daze, collected all his things, put them in a box on my porch and texted him to come get them. He said, what the hell? That's fine. I'll come by later and pick them up. I went out with a few girlfriends.

[00:09:25] We got day drunk and had some amazing food. It made me feel better. But when I got home and his things were gone, I was heartbroken. I never text him. He never texts me. I got absolutely no closure. And even though people say closure is bullshit, I've had the hardest time moving on. It's been three months and I still cry in the shower sometimes. Even though I broke up with him, I still feel so confused and heartbroken. I never figured out why he did what he did. I likely never will.

[00:09:54] And I miss his help and companionship. I'd love to come here and say I finished my book, but I haven't written much since. I can't get into my characters' heads anymore. There's a feeling of loneliness and grief that sort of helped me create a better outline, but I can't write about my characters. The other day, I went to the bookstore to study. I ended up looking at books related to time travel and found one that has thousands of positive reviews. My novel is science fiction and I've been trying to think of

[00:10:23] how to incorporate time travel. So it kind of lined up perfectly. It turns out a lot of my ideas mirror theoretical physics. It's eerie. I've never taken physics or read about it. Suddenly string theory makes sense. Cosmology makes sense. I'm blown away and it makes me feel so weird that so much of my plot has been studied so in depth. The book has lit a fire under me. Reading more about everything makes me so excited and has helped me really flesh out my plot.

[00:10:52] I can't put it down and read 20 or so pages a night. I haven't actually made time to sit and read a book for years. I always have a notebook with me now, so I write my ideas down. I haven't written about my characters yet, but my passion is back. My plot is making more sense. I don't care much about how we broke up. I'm not confused. I sometimes get sad at night or during the day or if I go out and make prolonged eye contact with a guy. I haven't thought about dating and I'm still too hurt to pursue it,

[00:11:21] but every day I move on a little bit more. I wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice. I forgot about my post until just now and when I went back through and read it, it made me realize how seriously messed up it was and gave me closure. Thank you. A lot of people saying that he did this purely just to break up with the OP. Other people saying that they would have broken up with him anyway straight away as soon as he done something like this because it's absolutely wild, but what would you do in this situation?

[00:11:50] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from the Today I Messed Up so I read it from bright equal 2422 and it says, Today I fucked up by telling my cousin that the reason I'm moving is because of a husband. I, 23 female, have lived with my cousin Rose and her husband Dumbo, both 33 for over a year for economical reasons. We've had a lot of issues,

[00:12:19] but I could handle them. Six months ago, I began to realize that Dumbo was looking at me more. I've always been sure to wear appropriate clothing in front of him and I've never been without a bra outside of my room. Even so, I noticed that his eyes were going to other places constantly like my boobs, arse or more below. I thought that was just my imagination, but just in case, I started wearing around the house oversized hoodies and sweatpants and nothing body fitting. But I still noticed that when we would have conversations,

[00:12:49] he would deliberately stare at other places. One night, I was lying on the couch laughing at a video on my phone and he came up to me, asked what I was laughing at and before I could answer, he bent down and put his head on my boobs at an angle he could look at the phone screen. I was in shock and I'm ashamed that I just let it happen. That's when I knew I had to tell someone, especially my parents, but I didn't have the courage, so I stuck it out. More comments were made, but the one that disgusted me the most was

[00:13:19] when he said, hey, is it me or have your boobs gotten bigger? That's why the fuck he was looking at me in that way and that he was so off for that, but he just laughed. I got the courage to tell my stepmom and dad and they were both shocked. They said that I needed to move out ASAP and that I also needed to talk to Rose about Dumbo's behavior and I would also need to talk to Dumbo. It took a bit of pushing, but I finally got the nerve to sit down with Rose and tell her everything that had happened and this was the reason I was moving.

[00:13:50] She said that she would talk to him, but in the end, this was my problem with him and I needed to fix it. I thought that after she spoke to him, he would come to me and apologize or say something at least, but that never happened. Two days after, I told Rose that I was expecting an apology on his behalf and I was going to talk to him myself about everything. She said that would be useless because he said he was never going to talk to me again as he claims he did nothing and apologizing would mean him owning up to what I claimed happened,

[00:14:19] that both of them were going to wait until my dad was back in town so he could solve everything. He claims that I'm just trying to put my family against him and ruin his reputation. I left to go to work after that, but in my mental state, I forgot something and when I came back, I caught her talking to her mom and them talking about how they didn't believe anything I had said and that the three of them would tell my parents that I'm trying to divide the family. The three people ganging up against me, I'm worried that they managed to change my parents' mind.

[00:14:48] I think I fucked up by possibly bringing this whole thing up. I may have just ruined my whole relationship with everyone, possibly ruined a marriage and in the end, I'm starting to even doubt my own judgment on what could have been just a misunderstanding. I fucked up by not staying quiet. I'll update if it's requested. The first commenter said to OP straight away, stick to your guns. You don't need anyone who won't stand by you. When you tell the truth, you know who they are now. OP says, I know the truth, but man, when it's three people,

[00:15:18] including the wife of this dumbo trying to bring you down, it's hard. Thanks for your words. Another commenter says, you could probably reconstruct when this happened from your phone history, if possible. Similarly, figure out the dates and times of other instances of harassment. These things are more convincing when they're documented with times, especially if, for example, they always happen during your cousin's working hours and days. If nothing else, it'd feel good to have it solidly documented and more easily shared if you ever need to do so to defend yourself

[00:15:48] from accusations of slander. I don't primarily mean legally here, but socially, just in case that's unclear. OP says, I only noticed six months ago. What can I say for anyone who wants details is that he only does this when my cousin isn't close by. For instance, when she's in the room or bathroom. I've noted down myself all the situations I've remembered because I wanted to be sure as possible before bringing the light to something this delicate. It's just when it's three against one, you begin to doubt yourself. There were some comments

[00:16:17] on OP getting therapy and distancing herself from her father because of his behaviors and beliefs. OP says, I would get therapy if I could afford it. Processing this has been hard. It was a shock to see how quickly my dad just believed these people and found a way to put this on me. It makes me think that maybe you were right. Yes, when I was a teen I was very confrontational and straightforward, but now as a 23 year old I knew the consequences and results of this behavior and though especially who I can be like this with.

[00:16:46] I'm already mentally prepared for this shit to happen but for now I'm focusing on the good things I have in life and I'm working on doing things that are good for my mental health. Very, very few people know the address of my new house. My family definitely does not know. Thank you so much for your comment. Another commenter says to OP, Something I tell young people is document, document, document. Send text messages. Hey, what's up with you putting your head on my chest earlier? Record anytime you have an interaction with the offending party.

[00:17:15] Keep video, audio and text evidence of everything and don't show your hand right away. Let the person deny and let the other people support them. Then show your hand and do what you will with the information that you have. Example, who believed you and who sided with the abuser? It's the same thing with car accidents. Have a dash cam. Don't tell the other party you have a dash cam. Let them make as many claims as they want. Let your insurance company know that you have the footage of the incident and their lawyer will know what to do. Your time, money and safety

[00:17:45] are cheap and easy for other people to come by. So OP comes in with her first update and says, well, I'd like to say thank you to everyone that took the time to comment on my last post. It's because of you that I finally saw that I was not fucking up even though now my relationship with basically my whole family is. Unfortunately, the result was not a pretty one. I spoke to my parents and the whole conversation was just off. To begin with, they don't understand why it took me so long to speak up. I tried explaining that for me

[00:18:14] this is a very sensitive topic and on top of that I was scared of how everyone would react. Second, it is well known that I usually have a very strong attitude and don't have an issue with telling people to fuck off or standing up for myself which in their eyes makes it strange that I wasn't able to do that with Dumbo. Yes, I didn't have a problem with doing that to people that have no major impact on my life and to be honest, even today I'm asking myself why I didn't react this way with him although I wanted to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it

[00:18:43] but I also know that if I did, Dumbo and Rose would have run off to my parents complaining about how disrespectful I am and it would have been messy either way. Third, they say things don't add up because in the end I never took their advice which was to remove myself from the situation and second, to have a conversation with Rose and Dumbo. I found a nice place to live as of December 1st. I spoke to Rose as I honestly didn't want nor did I feel comfortable speaking to her husband in the beginning. Like I said

[00:19:13] in the first post, when I told Rose I was going to speak to Dumbo, she said no because he wasn't going to listen and she agrees that we have nothing to talk about. I explained this to my parents but they weren't having it. They said that I need to face Dumbo as he's the one causing the issue for me. I told them very clearly that I wasn't going to force him to sit down and listen to me but according to them that is exactly what I should be doing. My dad said at the end of the day I don't know what Dumbo's intentions were and this won't get solved

[00:19:42] until he and I talk it out that a lot of people look at me and it's not that big of a deal. He's angry that I've done nothing to solve this matter myself and even if I know that Dumbo won't listen that's not the point. The point is trying. I reminded him that he wasn't just looking it was constant comments staring and putting his head on my boobs. I told him once again that I wasn't going to force a grown man to listen to me but he kept saying that I wasted their time by not taking their advice. Finally,

[00:20:12] my parents ended it by saying that because I haven't been transparent with them and it seems like I basically wasted their time that is how they'd like to keep our relationship with a wall up. I prepared myself to take a step back from my parents if needed but the fact that they did it because I wasted their time just hurts. I feel like they went into this convo with a mindset of not believing me and nothing I could have said would have changed that. Just the fact that they're telling me to force this man that's 10 years older than me to sit down

[00:20:41] and listen knowing damn well that because I don't want to be alone with him his wife would have to be there and she'd be jumping down my throat every two seconds is like telling me to flip a hot pancake with no gloves and to try not to get burnt knowing damn well that I will. He never offered to be a moderator. I had a feeling that this would have been the result so in a way I do feel like I did fuck up. In the end Rose and Dumbo are perfectly happy or so it seems. They both still have a great relationship with my parents.

[00:21:11] My relationship with all of them is messed up and I'm feeling pretty depressed. Once I move out completely I'll be in a better mental state. I won't have any toxic people in my life. I'll be saving money as the new places are a lot cheaper and most importantly I know that I still have people that love and support me even if it's a very few. Once again thank you to everyone that gave me words of support on my last post. It means so much. The top commenter on this one said to OP Receiving counsel from someone

[00:21:40] doesn't mean you must do what they advise. You listen so you can get other opinions or facts and make your own informed decision. OP says I didn't put it in the post because it would have been too long but for some reason my dad has the impression that I want him to solve this for me when that's not the case. My cousins were in fact the ones that wanted him to solve this. I just wanted some advice and guidance but that backfired hard. OP comes in with another update and says

[00:22:10] I didn't expect to be updating again. I thought that everything had ended when my parents blocked me but no. Since my last post my parents still have me blocked but only on social media. They've been calling me since and telling me that it's up to me to make this right but basically my entire family is mad at me for trying to destroy the family dynamics that because I still haven't confronted Dumbo. They all think that I'm lying and blue what could have been a simply awkward moment into a big deal that I could have a proper reason

[00:22:40] to move out and be independent. According to them unless I speak to Dumbo face to face I will have proven their theory of simply lying to get out of the house without anyone questioning it. They have made it clear that they think I have fucked up by bringing this thing to light and if I choose not to confront Dumbo they will proceed to have me blocked and will have me marked as a liar. Oh my god the pressure I've been under to speak to this man has been making me sick at this point. Yes I could simply block my parents on everything as well

[00:23:10] but that wouldn't stop them from showing up to my house. I'm too much of a coward to do so anyway. Even though I'm freaking out I've decided to talk to Dumbo tonight once I get the courage to do so. Just to get my parents off my back because I can't handle another phone call with them where they accuse me of being a liar. Deep down I know I didn't fuck up by telling my family about Dumbo harassing me but I swear to god that if I had known everything that was to come out of this I would have simply moved out and kept my mouth shut. Any advice

[00:23:39] is needed and I deeply appreciate those that personally messaged check off the top commenter on that update said I'm genuinely so fucking sorry this is happening to you. I don't have much in the way of advice but I hope you know that you're not in the wrong and you're not a bad person for speaking up. Don't let them tell you otherwise. I hope he replied saying I'm freaking the fuck out. I really don't feel comfortable talking to this guy but on the other hand if I don't the only family I have here will basically turn on me.

[00:24:09] I'm locked in my room till I get the courage to talk to him. The commenter says do not talk to this person alone but also not with your family. But also not with your family they are shit and will gang up on you. Please bring an outside friend and record it if you can. You really shouldn't even talk to this person and be moved onto your own place and have everyone blocked. They are not looking out for you. Stay safe and good luck. Opie says I'll be recording everything. And we have another update in a moment and you know

[00:24:39] I was just thinking along those lines that I wouldn't suggest talking to this guy. I know everything that I'm going to say is very easy for me to say especially with all the pressure that they're putting Opie under. It's very easy for me to say that your family is a piece of shit from even trying to make you do any of this. And as always I have to ask what do they actually bring to your life? They don't sound like very nice people at all. You've told them that this guy has sexually harassed you and their first thought is oh you need to confront him. What the hell? But Opie comes in with an update and says

[00:25:09] to begin I'd like to thank all those that have given me advice and shown support during this hard time. It's given me more strength than you know. I've been asked some questions so I'll answer a few. One why did I wait six months to bring this up? This is a very serious accusation to bring up. I wanted to absolutely be sure that I wasn't imagining anything and that I was sure of this. I was also terrified of how my family would react. Two why didn't I speak to Dumbo from the very beginning? I didn't have the courage and didn't know how he'd react

[00:25:39] so I went to my parents for guidance. Three why didn't I bring this up until after I moved out? Simply I thought my parents would have my back. Now to the update. After my last post I spoke to Dumbo. Even though many advised me not to I caved and I confronted him. I recorded the entire conversation like many suggested and even made sure to send it to a few people just in case. Dumbo was quiet the whole time I spoke and apologized even though he admits

[00:26:08] he stands by the fact that he did nothing. His wife my cousin Rose was laughing and snorting and making snide remarks the whole time. The urge to tell her to fuck off was big but I didn't want to make things worse for myself. The conclusion of our talk was this I don't want to move on from this but we will be civil. We will keep communication to a minimum until and after I move. You'll make sure to never be alone around me and lastly that our conversation was basically pointless and that even if I had spoken

[00:26:37] to him in the first place like everyone said he says the results would still be the same meaning we'd all be divided. I told my parents all of this this morning as they wanted to know how the talk went and even though I told them this was all said by Dumbo they still said that I was trying to justify my reasons for not wanting the other conversation with him and basically they think I only caved into this to prove that I wasn't lying because in the end I never showed any signs of abuse or said anything.

[00:27:07] They have made it clear that I have dived the whole family and it's going to take time for them to heal from the pain and distress I have caused and that in the future my family may or may not reach out to me again. After all of this my biggest fuck up was how I went about this. I should have waited until I was in my new place and away from these people at least that way a lot of this could have been avoided. Many have said that because I'm 23 I'm old enough to deal with this alone. To those who said this thank you. I've learned that family

[00:27:36] will not always be there to back you up. Speaking up will never be a fuck up but the way you go about things most definitely can be. As you can see here if I had done said or acted in a few different ways I think the outcome could have been a bit different. In the end I know I still have people that love and support me. I move out day it's just around the corner and eventually my mental health will be okay. In the meantime I will focus on packing and being around those I love. Thank you once again for all the support. This will be

[00:28:05] my final update. Hope you had to comment about the parents not believing her. They said you honestly couldn't have said it better. They have their mindset on what they believe. I'm not going to waste my time trying to change it. It's been shown that no matter what happens they find a way to make this my fault. Another commenter says the way your parents still found a way to turn what Dumbo said as you making excuses for yourself is incredible. Unfortunately family won't always stand by you and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. At least there are still

[00:28:35] people that love you. I'm sure you haven't had time to properly process this whole shit show but please once you move out and settle in please take time to grieve. In the end this is still a loss. Sending you so much support and I'm proud of you. Opie says thank you for your support. With time I will take time and process. I want an incredibly sad story and Opie said in one of the last paragraphs that their biggest F up was how they went about this that they should have waited until they

[00:29:04] was in their new place but you know that's all very well in hindsight. You kind of expect your family to be supportive of you and you just didn't get it in this case. These are definitely a bunch of people that are giving you nothing back in your life and I would seriously consider taking a step away from them once you're out of that space because once again I ask the question what are they giving you? Yes they're family but they didn't support you they didn't show any love towards you they're blaming you they're twisting everything around on you time and time again

[00:29:34] and even the stuff they did say they went back on like they told you that we believe you if you go and speak to him but when you did speak to him they twisted it around on you again. Absolutely awful people you didn't F up in this situation you've been failed by people time and time again I really do wish you the best moving forward and I hope you have got some people that you can lean on true family that love and support you and you move away from these people because they are doing you no favours

[00:30:03] but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love