My Best Friend Suddenly Proposed To Me Out Of The Blue...In Public r/Relationships

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[00:00:44] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories.

[00:00:50] And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too.

[00:00:56] And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:59] Much love guys.

[00:01:00] Now, today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the RelationshipAdvice subreddit and says,

[00:01:07] My best friend proposed to me. I'm confused and mortified. Where can we go from here?

[00:01:14] Frankly, I'm still in shock that this happened. So, this might be all over the place. Bear with me. All fake names, etc. etc.

[00:01:23] Jordan and I met in university two years ago.

[00:01:26] We both started at the same time and because of our ages, we were both considered mature students.

[00:01:32] So, we quickly became firm friends and we shared a dorm and would joke around together about us being old enough to be considered mature in our early 20s.

[00:01:42] We weren't on the same course, but given we lived together, we'd hang out pretty much all the time whenever we didn't have a lecture.

[00:01:49] We joined a bunch of societies together, went drinking every weekend together, etc. etc.

[00:01:55] It was a pretty sweet gig because it meant we're at least never alone.

[00:02:00] Obviously, we made other friends both alone and together, but we were always each other's number one at the end of the day.

[00:02:07] At the moment, we're on spring holidays for Easter and while we haven't hung out constantly,

[00:02:13] we decided to make plans to visit each other's hometowns because we're from very starkly different places.

[00:02:18] Today, we went to mine. Mine is a big city central.

[00:02:22] This morning, we went there and we wandered down the streets, doing some sightseeing because he's never been.

[00:02:28] There's typically a lot of street sellers here, trying to sell you everything from hot dogs to fluffy Pokemon hats.

[00:02:35] I decided I wanted to get a caricature done.

[00:02:38] I've never had one and thought it'd be funny to get and hang over my bed when we got back for term.

[00:02:43] I asked Jordan if he wanted to get in and he refused.

[00:02:47] No worries, so I sat down to get it done.

[00:02:50] It didn't take very long, 5-10ish minutes.

[00:02:53] So I stayed looking straight forward at the artist the entire time.

[00:02:57] He finished the caricature. I loved it, so I obviously turned to show it properly to Jordan.

[00:03:03] When I turn though, I literally don't even know what to say.

[00:03:07] He's down on one knee, holding up a ring box.

[00:03:10] I don't even know what he said, if he did the whole like proposal speech thing because I was so confused.

[00:03:17] I was barely paying attention.

[00:03:19] Remember again, this is a super busy tourist city.

[00:03:23] So this has drawn a mini crowd now, coming over to cheer us on.

[00:03:27] I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

[00:03:30] To be honest, I thought this was some kind of odd prank type thing.

[00:03:34] We never have been prankster types or whatever.

[00:03:36] But I couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation.

[00:03:39] So I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

[00:03:42] Until I looked at Jordan and he looked genuinely heartbroken.

[00:03:46] So I obviously asked him if something along the lines of,

[00:03:49] you're not being serious.

[00:03:50] This is the only thing I remember him saying.

[00:03:53] He shut the box, stood up and shrugged and said,

[00:03:56] I guess not anymore.

[00:03:58] And walked off.

[00:03:59] This left me standing pretty awkwardly in this gathered crowd of people.

[00:04:03] A lot of who were giving me dirty looks which made me incredibly uncomfortable.

[00:04:08] The plan was to meet back up at the hotel that we had booked rooms next door to one another.

[00:04:13] I figured that's where he's going and head back that way.

[00:04:16] But he's not there.

[00:04:17] So I wait and I wait and he still doesn't return.

[00:04:21] I text him out of concern.

[00:04:23] This was at 1.15pm.

[00:04:25] It's currently 6.20pm as I'm writing this.

[00:04:28] Just asking if he's okay.

[00:04:30] He responds with a long message back,

[00:04:33] which I would post but it's an odd read.

[00:04:36] That I won't have respect for his privacy.

[00:04:39] In which he basically accuses me of leading him on.

[00:04:42] Asking why I didn't break up with him sooner.

[00:04:44] Saying I had publicly humiliated him.

[00:04:47] And that he thought I loved him the same way.

[00:04:50] And that he felt our relationship was strong enough to consider taking to the next step.

[00:04:54] Now this is completely out of left field.

[00:04:57] I literally have got no idea where in the world he's got this idea from.

[00:05:01] The closest we've ever physically been is a hug hello and goodbye.

[00:05:06] I've never even jokingly flirted with him.

[00:05:09] For exactly this reason.

[00:05:11] I've had too many friendships collapse because they can't tell the difference between serious interesting and joking banter in friendships.

[00:05:17] So I've been extra careful to not.

[00:05:20] We've never kissed, never been on a date, never had sex.

[00:05:24] I don't find him physically attractive and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him.

[00:05:28] I don't understand where on earth he's got the idea that we are.

[00:05:32] This isn't something he's ever brought up before this and I'm genuinely bewildered.

[00:05:37] He hasn't returned to the hotel yet.

[00:05:39] I periodically knock the check and I've been listening out for him walking up the hallway or anything.

[00:05:45] Nothing.

[00:05:46] I haven't responded to his long paragraph because honestly, I don't know how to.

[00:05:51] I'm just so stunned and taken aback that I genuinely had no idea where to go from here or what to do.

[00:05:57] I haven't told anyone I know in person yet.

[00:06:00] Mostly because I don't want to bring this up to people who know Jordan.

[00:06:04] So here I am turning to strangers on Reddit instead.

[00:06:07] What in the world do I do?

[00:06:09] Now obviously, I'm not trying to diagnose or anything like that.

[00:06:13] But it did have me question about how mentally well is this guy at the moment.

[00:06:17] Because there seems to be no kind of like anything more than friendship there.

[00:06:22] But he decided to propose to you in public out of the blue like that.

[00:06:27] It was nothing more ever than a friendly hug.

[00:06:30] So from that to proposing is just like a wild jump for me.

[00:06:35] But low engineering says I have a close male friend.

[00:06:38] We went to a Christmas fair together one year.

[00:06:40] We were not holding hands or linking arms.

[00:06:43] The store owner began talking to my male friend about the jewelry the store sold and how they'd make great engagement rings for you two.

[00:06:51] I thought my friend was going to die of sheer shock and horror.

[00:06:54] The speed at which he set this man straight was hilarious.

[00:06:57] Your friend appears to genuinely believe you're a couple.

[00:07:01] I concur with those saying to try and contact his family.

[00:07:04] I understand it might seem dramatic but it may be wise to contact the police.

[00:07:08] You're not reporting him missing per se but you are telling them you have concerns.

[00:07:13] Note, I'm not American.

[00:07:15] I'm aware the cop suggestion could be a terrible idea in some states.

[00:07:19] Another commenter says wow this is the biggest misread I've ever heard of.

[00:07:23] I don't think your friendship will recover from this.

[00:07:25] At least for now.

[00:07:26] The best you can do is make it clear that you don't feel the same way at all.

[00:07:30] But yeah, this is a friendship killer.

[00:07:33] Casey the ace quotes that comment and says well you're in for a treat

[00:07:37] and shares another post with a big misread in it which I think we're going to cover for the second story.

[00:07:42] Five night rental says if and when he returns I would only meet to discuss this in a public area.

[00:07:48] It doesn't sound like he's taking it well and his perception of reality seems to be questionable.

[00:07:53] Be careful.

[00:07:55] Mericanorama says this kind of happened to me.

[00:07:58] Like not to the point of proposal but I live with a male roommate who was already a close friend of mine for several years.

[00:08:05] When I was moving out he confronted me and basically said he thought we should continue our relationship and get married and get a pet

[00:08:11] and I need to break my new lease and stay with him.

[00:08:14] Among many other really unhinged things.

[00:08:16] I was absolutely out of character and like you we were friends for years

[00:08:20] and there was never any indication that we were anything else and I dated while we lived together.

[00:08:26] Long story short he was having a mental break and eventually got psych help.

[00:08:30] We reconnected like a year later and he explained this and that he basically had a psychotic break and why.

[00:08:36] It's been like 7 years now and we're still good friends to this day lol.

[00:08:41] He's stable now and has a long term girlfriend and we're good friends as well.

[00:08:46] I would seriously recommend you alert someone to his mental state and not re-engage until he's back to reality.

[00:08:52] If or when that happens.

[00:08:54] ETA.

[00:08:55] I don't want to sound like I'm minimizing this.

[00:08:58] You need to be away from him.

[00:09:00] Wouldn't really recommend going to his hotel room etc.

[00:09:03] If you have to meet do it in public.

[00:09:05] Regardless of if it's a mental health related or if he's gaslighting and manipulating you on purpose.

[00:09:11] He's not stable so don't be around him.

[00:09:14] Either your presence will continue to add to his delusion or you risk your safety or both.

[00:09:19] So OP did update their post and said Jordan did in fact not come back to the hotel.

[00:09:25] I stayed up until 1am before falling asleep and he didn't return.

[00:09:29] When I woke up the next day the hotel staff let me know he had checked himself out at about 6am.

[00:09:35] I did end up responding to his big long text.

[00:09:38] I took everyone's advice and told him that I was sorry it didn't go as he expected.

[00:09:42] But I wasn't sure where he got the impression that we were together.

[00:09:45] I said I'd be happy to sit and have a discussion about it so we could all make sure we're on the same page.

[00:09:51] He was not happy about this at all.

[00:09:54] And he again went off with a bunch of the same type of thing he said in the first message.

[00:09:58] It didn't really seem to be going through his head at all.

[00:10:01] Even in these new texts he kept referring to all of this as me breaking up with him.

[00:10:06] Despite me explicitly telling him we are not and never have.

[00:10:12] Again all his messages were very clear and coherent.

[00:10:15] Even if what he was saying was not based in reality at all.

[00:10:19] He wasn't sending paragraphs just sentences in really quick succession which was blowing my phone up.

[00:10:25] He told me he didn't want to meet up with me to talk because I had ripped out his heart and crushed it in public.

[00:10:31] I did ask him for specific instances he could recall between us that made him think we were dating.

[00:10:37] But he completely ignored the question and just kept going on and on about how hurt he was that I was breaking up with him.

[00:10:44] And how he felt his world was ending.

[00:10:46] He said he loved me more than anything and had felt so confident that I had too.

[00:10:51] Which is why he felt so certain about proposing to move our relationship along.

[00:10:56] Eventually to be honest I grew pretty tired of the conversation and stopped responding.

[00:11:00] Because it was just going around and around in circles.

[00:11:03] Me asking where he got this idea, him ignoring this and telling me how hurt he is I'm breaking up with him over this etc.

[00:11:10] He went on and on saying he thought it would be a ring I like because it was my favorite gem, ruby instead of diamond.

[00:11:18] This got me wondering how much he actually spent on this damn thing.

[00:11:22] I didn't look very clearly at the ring so I couldn't tell if it was something super expensive or not.

[00:11:27] And that he had been working up the courage to do so for a while and figured doing it when I was home would make it more special.

[00:11:34] For a while he was just talking to himself in my text because I wasn't responding anymore.

[00:11:40] When I checked back about 20 minutes later I had something like 16 messages from him.

[00:11:45] Granted they were all one sentences.

[00:11:48] At the very end he apologized and told me that it didn't matter anyway because I wouldn't see him around anymore.

[00:11:53] Obviously I was concerned so I asked for clarification.

[00:11:56] He said that he was going to drop out of university and go back home because he couldn't deal with the shame.

[00:12:01] That's where our conversation ended.

[00:12:04] I didn't really know what to respond to that.

[00:12:06] As it stands now I don't really know where Jordan is.

[00:12:09] I didn't ask him which is my bad.

[00:12:12] I'm not sure if and when we will talk again.

[00:12:15] I'm sorry that this is quite a boring update.

[00:12:18] Unfortunately I can't excite everyone with a and then he turned up at my door and then he sent me flowers or whatever.

[00:12:25] It feels a lot is unanswered.

[00:12:27] I still don't know where he got the idea from.

[00:12:29] He hasn't explained that.

[00:12:31] So I'm sorry I can't give everyone that answer.

[00:12:34] I haven't reached out to his family yet.

[00:12:36] I did consider it but if he's not having a mental health crisis I don't really want to involve them unnecessarily.

[00:12:51] He can't stand salads and still lost 50 pounds.

[00:12:54] Salads generally for most people are the easy button.

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[00:13:34] Update 2

[00:13:35] So adding on a lot of people said I should ask our mutual friends if he's ever brought this up before.

[00:13:39] Never suggested we were dating etc.

[00:13:42] All of the people I've asked, granted it was only five, said they've not got a clue and he's never mentioned it before now.

[00:13:48] I don't know then if this is something he's newly started thinking.

[00:13:52] If it's been something long term etc.

[00:13:55] Either way in addition I've also screenshotted all of his texts just in case.

[00:13:59] Read him back on them not with a slightly confused mindset.

[00:14:02] They read pretty manic.

[00:14:04] Still haven't heard back from his mum just yet.

[00:14:06] Hey, I'm not dead.

[00:14:08] I'm back at my parents house at the moment and I'll be staying here until school picks back up in a bit instead of travelling around.

[00:14:13] It's nice to be home anyways.

[00:14:16] There was a couple of comments which Opie responded to so Fenkick says

[00:14:19] I understand not wanting to involve family but as you were close and in college,

[00:14:23] surely there are other friends and people who know you both you could reach out to and ask.

[00:14:28] You don't even have to go into specifics.

[00:14:30] Just be like, hey did you think that Jordan and I were dating?

[00:14:33] Have you heard Jordan refer to us dating?

[00:14:36] Get a sense of whether this is something ongoing and he's just a regular weirdo.

[00:14:40] Or if this is something concerning that should be brought up with family or mental health professionals at your school.

[00:14:45] Opie says we do share some mutual friends.

[00:14:48] Haven't really considered reaching out to them but I'll definitely think about doing so.

[00:14:52] I feel like someone would have told me if he had been saying that to them though.

[00:14:56] But obviously I'm not certain.

[00:14:58] I haven't told anyone in real life about it.

[00:15:00] Not even my parents.

[00:15:02] Just been keeping under the near total anonymity of Reddit.

[00:15:06] But I can definitely see why it may be important to do this.

[00:15:09] Teller says I would recommend telling your parents just in case anything else were to happen.

[00:15:14] And CanadaRod says yes, you need to tell a few people for sure.

[00:15:17] I'd tell my mom and I wouldn't trust that he doesn't just show back up on campus.

[00:15:22] I'd have a system in place with my mom that if I don't message twice a day.

[00:15:26] This is the dorm mom's number to call so someone checks on me.

[00:15:30] I understand you don't want to think the worst of him but if he's not answering your questions he's still not thinking logically.

[00:15:36] You need to also talk to a mutual friend so they're on the lookout for you as well.

[00:15:40] You need confirmation from someone that knows both of you that either A.

[00:15:44] They didn't know you were in a relationship or B.

[00:15:46] Thought you were in a relationship or C.

[00:15:48] Jordan did mention things once in a while but they brushed them off because you are clearly not dating.

[00:15:55] And all I can really do at the end of this is wish that OP stays as safe as possible.

[00:16:01] It sounds like a pretty scary situation to be in at the moment.

[00:16:05] I personally felt like it was some kind of mental issue at the same time as well.

[00:16:10] Because it just seems like so mad about the jump to the proposal etc.

[00:16:14] And the way he's acting afterwards.

[00:16:16] And you know I hope he does discover some help as family gets in touch with him.

[00:16:21] Because the alternative is quite worrying.

[00:16:24] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:16:27] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:16:30] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:16:34] And we're going to jump to a similar story which was mentioned in the comments of that story we just read.

[00:16:40] Apparently it's a bit of a wild one, confusing one all at the same time.

[00:16:44] So let's get involved and find out.

[00:16:46] This is from Mr. Molewall who says.

[00:16:48] My 35 male girlfriend 35 female tells her co-workers that we are cousins.

[00:16:56] My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years.

[00:16:58] She keeps hinting at wanting to get married and talking about what her wedding will be like someday.

[00:17:04] I've decided to take the hint.

[00:17:06] I bought an engagement ring a week ago and I'm planning to pop the question sometime soon.

[00:17:11] Well over the weekend she had a work function.

[00:17:14] This was the first time she invited me along.

[00:17:17] I'm not super outgoing but I was kind of looking forward to meeting all these co-workers she talks about so much.

[00:17:23] For some reason every time we talk to someone she introduces me as her cousin.

[00:17:28] I thought it was a joke at first but she kept at it the whole day.

[00:17:32] When we were driving home I asked her what was that all about.

[00:17:36] And she said she didn't want people to have the wrong impression.

[00:17:39] When I asked her what she meant, she said she didn't want to talk about it anymore and I shouldn't be so upset.

[00:17:46] She then switched the conversation to her favorite TV show.

[00:17:50] Why would she introduce me as her cousin?

[00:17:52] Should I insist on her telling me why she did that before I propose?

[00:17:57] Now for me I think the obvious thing I should probably say is it sounds like she was trying to hide you from her co-workers, call you a cousin because there's someone that she's possibly dating or likes at her workplace.

[00:18:09] But why would she do that and tell you not to question it?

[00:18:12] Of course you're going to question that and I certainly wouldn't be proposing on the back of that either.

[00:18:17] But Sunbreaker says they probably know her boyfriend already.

[00:18:20] She most likely been cheating on you for a while and they've had multiple encounters with her boyfriend so by them not getting the wrong idea means not knowing the truth.

[00:18:28] So, sorry my dude I believe you're getting played.

[00:18:32] Ify Beers says

[00:18:50] 3. She's been seeing a co-worker and everyone there knows it.

[00:18:56] All of them in my opinion are deal breakers.

[00:18:58] At minimum bring back the ring and tell her you did and why.

[00:19:03] And one more comment just says

[00:19:20] She married her cousin? Come on.

[00:19:23] So, Sophie does update the post and says

[00:19:49] She's been hoping he would propose and saw the wedding talk.

[00:19:53] Apparently she's never thought of me as a boyfriend.

[00:19:57] I misread that badly.

[00:19:58] She kept alternating between very apologetic saying

[00:20:07] Well sir, I feel pretty stupid right now.

[00:20:10] But on the bright side I'm glad I found out now before proposing.

[00:20:14] Now that would have been awkward.

[00:20:15] I just got done signing up for a new match.com account this evening and I'm going to be returning the ring I bought hoping for a better day tomorrow.

[00:20:24] Edit for clarification because some of you were asking.

[00:20:33] The OP also left a comment below that which said

[00:20:46] We sometimes would go to a movie together or grab dinner with just the two of us.

[00:20:49] But often times we did things together as a group.

[00:20:53] One time that sticks out is she organized a double date.

[00:20:56] Looking back now I realize that I was actually supposed to be on a date with the other girl while she was with her boyfriend.

[00:21:03] That explains a lot now.

[00:21:05] Like why the other girl kept brushing up against me and stuff and why she seemed really sullen at the end of the double date.

[00:21:11] Man, I'm such an idiot.

[00:21:15] What the hell?

[00:21:17] This just left me with so many questions.

[00:21:20] Like why did she still call him cousin at the work day?

[00:21:23] Why not just a friend?

[00:21:26] Also six years?

[00:21:28] This has been going on for six years.

[00:21:29] Bloody hell.

[00:21:31] I'm just going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:21:34] My wordy word.

[00:21:36] What do you guys make of this situation or both of them really?

[00:21:40] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:43] Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:21:47] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:50] So thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:55] Take care and much love.

[00:21:57] Oh dear.

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