Mother-In-Law Made A Joke About Poking Holes In Our Protection r/Relationships

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[00:00:37] Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from DeliciousLeader7639 and says, Am I the arsehole for cutting off my mother-in-law after she made a joke about poking holes in our condoms? I, 38 female, have been together with my husband James for four years. We are both child free and do not intend to have kids in the future. When we first got married, we both told our family about

[00:01:04] how we didn't want to have kids and why. My family was fine with it but his wasn't. Especially my mother-in-law, who I'll call Mary for privacy. She's either passive aggressive or just tells us we'll change our minds soon. For example, telling us I can't wait to be a grandma, despite us not wanting children. If we try to say otherwise, she just pretends not to hear us. I've been very uncomfortable

[00:01:31] with this and I've told my husband multiple times. But he just brushed it off by saying she'll accept it someday. However, it reached a limit. Recently, James was hosting a dinner party and invited his family as well as mine. While we were eating, my mother-in-law jokingly said, You know, AP, I've considered poking holes into your and James' condoms so I could be a grandma.

[00:01:56] It's so smart and you'd never know. Before laughing, I was horrified. After that, I excused myself and left the house. James followed after me, saying I was being dramatic and it was a joke. I told him that it wasn't a joke and what would happen if she actually did it. We kept arguing for a bit before we stormed back into the house and I drove off in my car. I've blocked my mother-in-law on all social

[00:02:23] media and deleted her number. The whole family is furious at me now, calling me sensitive and paranoid. Am I the arsehole? Absolutely not the arsehole in this situation. You're not overreacting. Who the fuck says something like that? When I read that line, my face scrunched up like a cabbage. And the fact that your husband didn't back you up on this, don't find her comments concerning at all, and says that you're being

[00:02:51] dramatic and it was a joke, is concerning in itself. But the top commenter on this one said, she said it in front of everyone at dinner. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not the arsehole. Lake Glenn says, mother-in-law's comments, including the one about the condoms, have all been way over the line and squarely in the none of your business category. Your husband should have handled this with his mother quite a while ago. Now he has no choice. Tell your husband the reason you've gone to the

[00:03:20] lengths you have gone. Leaving the dinner, blocking his mother on social media and deleting her are all because he is failing to safeguard you from her. This is his responsibility because it is his mother. He needs to stop brushing it off. He needs to go see her face to face and say, Mum, you are hurting me when you press us for grandkids. We are not having children. That's my final decision. You need to stop

[00:03:45] mentioning it to either one of us. By mentioning it at dinner, you cross the line and you need to apologize. You never speak of us having kids in front of us again. The jolly green giant says you aren't paranoid. That was a threat, not a joke. If your husband doesn't realize that, you might have to do more than not see your mother-in-law. It was akin to saying it would be smart to rape you. I would get a grandchild out of it and no harm done. Abby JJJ says not a joke at all.

[00:04:14] Poke holes in the condoms. Sinister know-it-alls have actually done that to people. She'd change your lives forever for her demands. Creepy too that she's envisioning your sex life with your husband. She's way out of line. Major arsehole. Your husband needs to back you 100%. Not say you overreacted. From this moment forward, if anything more is said about having children,

[00:04:38] you need to get up and leave immediately or hang up the phone. Say not one word more. Leave. She is such an arsehole. Life well says not the arsehole and the next time this happens, and it will, simply stand up and, insert husband's name, I've had enough of your mother's bullcrap and since you lack a backbone to make her stop, expect divorce papers shortly. To the mother-in-law, I hope you're happy. Your immaturity and unwillingness to accept the word no is the sole reason for this

[00:05:08] divorce. So OP did come in with her update and said, so after everything that happened, last night I had a talk with my husband about how I want him to take a deeper step into his commitment of being child free. I've also told him unless he gets a vasectomy or similar procedure, I will not be having sex with him. I want him to do this to prove he can stand up to his mother and that he is just as child free as

[00:05:33] I am. But honestly, I've doubted that after posting the first story. Not in a rude way, of course. My husband told me that still, he wasn't ready yet and that I was moving too fast. And by asking him to stand up to his mother, I was basically asking him to disrespect her for my sake. So then, I just asked him if he wanted kids or not. And to stop beating around the bush because I will divorce him and disappear like the wind if he doesn't. That finally got him to open his mouth.

[00:06:00] And he told me that he did want kids and was just secretly hoping for either an accident or me changing my mind, like how most of you in the comments predicted. But what really shocked me is that he told me he was already considering tampering with our birth control, condoms before. But he just hadn't found it in him to do it yet. So now it makes sense why he only wanted to use condoms for our birth control. After that, I simply said that as of now, the marriage is over and I'll be

[00:06:27] filing for a divorce as fast as possible. And I made sure to tell him that whatever possible child I could have had never be in his grasp to see him, especially my mother-in-law. He tried to protest, but I was firm on leaving. Honestly, he was pretty much planning to baby trap me. Nice try, but not here, honey. As of now, I'm currently staying at my sister's house. Soon, I'm going to try and find a lawyer for a divorce. But I do know that I can never go back

[00:06:55] in the house with him in it or my mother-in-law. This entire event has left me very shaken and worried. So there were some comments where OP replied. The reply said, Because he refused to get any other forms of birth control. When I did offer to get a procedure done on me instead, he wanted me to wait until he was ready. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I waited on him pretty much. I've replied to a comment explaining why, but I'll say it again here. I've already offered to get some

[00:07:22] procedures done myself, but it's him who didn't want me to because he wanted me to wait until he was ready as well. He had told me before that he didn't want any either, and I thought we were both on the same page. Turns out I was reading a completely different book. My side of the family was fine with it. His wasn't about being child-free. His mother was the one who made the comment. There isn't much to say after this one. OP's doing absolutely the right thing of getting out of that

[00:07:51] marriage immediately, which I know is easier said than done, but he was already considering tampering with birth control, which is illegal in itself and fucking disgusting. But with the mother-in-law suggesting something like that previously as well, it made me wonder, was there conversations in the background between them, which is both terrifying and grim at the same time? Between husband and mother-in-law,

[00:08:15] I mean. But holy moly, what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from nefariousnessolimp800 and says, I, 24 male, caught my girlfriend, 21 female, cheating. I don't know what to believe. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost four years now. Our sex life

[00:08:45] really tapered off over the last year. It felt like I was always the one initiating sex and desiring her, but I never got that same desire back from her. Sex most of the time seemed like a chore, or something to just get over with or put off till the end of the night. I tried doing more spontaneous things like taking her on dates and trying to make her feel as or more special than the time when we first met. Nothing really seemed to work, and it was really getting me down.

[00:09:15] Fast forward to this April. I could sense something was off, and I was getting feelings that maybe she wasn't being honest about who she was seeing. I'd like to clarify that I am and never was the type of person to go through my SO's phone. So for the first time in our, at that point, three years of dating, I took a look at her phone. I found that she's been texting this guy from her work, 37 male, who was divorced with her daughter. The texts were pretty infrequent. There were days, even weeks at

[00:09:44] some point, where there'd be no communication between them, and then one or the other would say, hey, or he would ask over and over when they could meet again, or if he could see her after work. The text went on like this for two months, all the way back to February. But the earlier texts are where she showed more interest. She wished him happy birthday, and offered that she could give him his birthday present after work. He would ask to see her,

[00:10:10] and she would say, not today, puppy. I didn't drive myself to work. I was the one driving her. When I confronted her about this, she gave me a whole story of how he would wink at her as he walked by, and eventually she could sense that he was interested. She told me she told him that she has a boyfriend. But she said the problem was he kept persisting, even following her to her car after work in the parking lot. She said she took his number and that's when things started.

[00:10:37] She said she felt wrong about what she was doing, and she did it because it felt exciting, even though she knew it was wrong. She then proceeded to say that she never actually met up with him after work or in the car or anything, and that they never physically touched each other. But she said it was just texting. She cried and cried and felt terrible, as I did at the time. We took space for a while, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I decided to give

[00:11:06] things another chance and believed her about things not getting physical. But honestly, I didn't really care about if they did or not. I just wanted honesty because it crushed me to believe that she was lying to me every day for months about her life. I felt like I didn't know the person I was dating anymore. We made up and had lots of talks about transparency and being able to talk about our feelings no matter how bad or serious they were. Over the course of beginning

[00:11:33] of summer till now, we've been working on our relationship, and it's been nice honestly. Recently, I've been having trouble however with the consistency of her stories. Things popped up over time that make me feel like I might be getting lied to and gaslighted. It's hard for me to decide what to believe because either she's telling the truth or she's manipulating me at a level I don't think I could ever do to someone else. I discovered that she had all these contacts on her phone of men that I had no idea about

[00:12:01] or with area codes that match our area, which is strange because she just moved here from where we were about two years ago. I have almost no contact of women with our area code in my phone. She told me this was because of the old app she used to use before we started dating, and she didn't even know who any of them were. I believed her and we moved on. Then I discovered that she had all of these men friends on Instagram. They had no idea who they

[00:12:27] were and were new from when we first met. They didn't go to school with her and were not from her hometown either. She told me she didn't know them and that she'd unfollow them. I believed her and said that's reasonable. I gave her so many chances to be honest about if she talked to another guy or if there was anything suspect about these guys, and she denied and denied and denied.

[00:12:50] I then recently found out that she downloaded Bumble in June 5th, 2023 from her app history. I was unsure what Bumble was, just in case you are as well. Bumble is an online dating and networking application, apparently. I confronted her about this thinking that she'd just be honest about it and say she did. After all, she did have an affair with a guy from work. I wouldn't think it was that crazy to download Bumble. Also, she was feeling like that. She then denied again and again that she did.

[00:13:20] She said she never used the app and even went as far as to say that I downloaded it, maybe to check see if she was using it. I again said, okay, maybe you're telling the truth. I believe you. Today, I was thinking about all of it and I just thought that there was no way I would download the app if it wasn't previously downloaded as there'd be no point. So I'm starting to think that she's lying to me about that. And if she's lying to me about that, what else is she not telling me?

[00:13:46] I just need some advice on what to do because I'm getting lost and I feel like I can't trust her. But I also feel like I could be crazy. The first and top commenter on this one said, if you believe all that bullshit she told you, I got a bridge for sale in Brooklyn. Another commenter says you're being manipulated so heavily. You stay in this delusion just to avoid seeing it for what it obviously is because that would mean you would have to break up.

[00:14:12] I'm sorry you have to go through this, but don't waste another day on this lying, disrespectful woman. She doesn't value you or your relationship. She will never be loyal or honest. You have to look reality in the eyes and live with the consequences. It will hurt, but you will get over it and be then able to experience authentic, respectful connections formed with trust, safety and compassion. You deserve that.

[00:14:38] B Random says this relationship is dead and she killed it. You do not need to attempt to forgive and forget because the damage is done and you are the victim of her lies. You hopefully can forgive yourself or any of your shortcomings, but rise out of this relationship's ashes like a phoenix and go live your best life far away from your ex. Make no mistake, you need to break up and block her, but you'll be happy and find someone else that will be faithful and a supportive partner.

[00:15:06] Don't fool yourself into thinking this relationship was worth saving. She was waiting for someone else and using you as the for now option. Hit the gym, delete socials and go do the things that you love to do and reconnect with the person you used to be before you met her and go be free. And another commenter which says, you're the last to know the truth. You have a chronic cheater on your hands and you need to stop

[00:15:31] being so naive. Everything you describe indicates a pattern of routine, deception and infidelity. But here's the thing, she's lied to you or given you shitty stories often enough that you aren't going to be able to trust what she says anymore. You can't keep going and think you'll ever feel secure in the relationship. I could talk for a while on your approach to that security, but she totally had sex with a guy from work. You need to cut her loose and move on. She's making a fool of you.

[00:15:59] So around 15 days or so later, OP did come in with an update and said, I recently caught my girlfriend cheating and I've been dealing with the aftermath for the past six months. We'd been dating for about four years. I just wanted to thank everyone here for the advice and suggestions on what to do. I confronted her about the Bumble account. I found out she made while we were dating and that's when the truth finally came out. She weirdly didn't admit the Bumble account

[00:16:28] during the confrontation, but finally admitted to giving some guy oral in the parking lot of the grocery store she was working at. The same guy she'd been texting for months. It was a bittersweet moment for me because for the first time in the past six months, I finally felt like I wasn't going crazy anymore. All the days and months having her tell me over and over that nothing physical happened and that it was just texting were lies. It hurt however knowing that she could do that to me and

[00:16:57] come home every night for a year acting like nothing was happening. She would constantly call me crazy and say that it hurt her that I couldn't believe her. I felt terrible for so long, constantly questioning everything including my own judgment. She tried to make it sound better by saying she was forced into it in some way and that it only happened once. I'm just happy for the first time in a long time

[00:17:21] I can finally see through her lies. It's like she lied so much to me so many times that I've started to pick up on her different reactions to certain things and how to tell if she's lying. Not that that's any use anymore because I'm leaving her for good. I told her I can't do this anymore. It's been incredibly difficult. I have no savings so I'm going to move back in with my parents and start working on myself and hitting the gym and meeting new people. I just wanted to provide an

[00:17:49] update to anyone who was waiting for one from my last post and to say thank you again to everyone for telling and showing me that I was being blind too. Hopefully I can save and get my own apartment soon and really find myself. The top comment on that update said parking lot blowjob. She really kept it classy. You should probably get tested my dude. I'm really sorry about all this. Good luck

[00:18:13] moving forward. I have paper quoted OP saying that they're going to work on themselves and move back in with the parents and says it really sucks but honestly this is a great way to look at it. I know you're going to feel like shit for a bit but keep working at it and eventually you'll realize that even though things aren't the same it's going to be way better than six months of hell she put you through. And another comment from designer miserable who says bravo bro bravo. I just got out

[00:18:43] of a six month relationship with someone similar. Lied about pretty much everything and I believed her until I found evidence on her text that she had in fact been cheating on me. Not once not twice but drum roll wait for it multiple times with three freaking different people. Two guys and a girl too and that's just what I found evidence for. I don't know why people say looking through their phone is bad. That's just how most of us find out we're getting cheated on. I mean what's the alternative?

[00:19:12] Risk getting AIDS? No thanks. And a last comment from silence butts deadly who says I'm sorry this happened to you man. I know it's hard to see the forest through the trees at times. You were played hard man and the fact that you kept believing obvious bullshit is a huge red flag. Even bigger though I've never heard someone have their girl tell them about sucking a dude off in the parking lot and your reaction to hearing the news it was bittersweet. I should speak to you

[00:19:37] louder than anything else. Hope you're able to get to a good place and my only request is when she reaches out to you asking for another chance because I guarantee she will have some self-respect then don't give her the time of day. Any woman that would do that to you obviously doesn't have a shred of decency or respect and you giving her another chance would in no way make her gain respect for you. But now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:07] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you for being here today as always. Spending your time with the channel and you know communicating with each other below sharing that love and support it's incredible and I can never thank you enough for what you actually do is absolutely amazing. Thank you so much and don't forget at the very end there'll be a couple of playlists there that you can click on and we'll automatically scroll through all the videos for you.

[00:20:33] So if you're doing a bit of painting a bit of walking maybe that Rachel sent me a painting over on Twitter yesterday she's painting a dog for a baby brother and it was absolutely amazing and it just makes my day to see what you're up to whilst listening. If you want to send yours at Mark Narrations by the way and I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.