Mother-In-Law DESTROYED 2000oz's Of Breastmilk And She Said To Switch To Formula r/Relationships

[00:00:00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out

[00:00:25] some more relationship stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting

[00:00:30] that like subscribe and maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:36] story.

[00:00:37] From would I be the arsehole make mom homeless who says would I be the arsehole for making

[00:00:40] my mom homeless after what she did to my wife.

[00:00:44] My mom, Cara, 50s doesn't hold down jobs. I think she's above working a regular 9-5

[00:00:51] and is a moocher. She essentially just lives wherever she can find people willing to let

[00:00:55] her live for free and spends the little she has from doing odd jobs on booze and drugs.

[00:01:02] My dad, they divorced over a decade ago, John, finances a lot of her lifestyle. Cara will

[00:01:08] beg him for money since he's pretty well off and for some reason he usually gives it to

[00:01:14] her. Recently John bought her an old RV and she planned to move into it in her parents

[00:01:19] backyard and get paid from the state to take care of them as they aren't well. My wife

[00:01:25] Diane, 29 female and I, 35 male live right next door to Cara's parents, my grandparents.

[00:01:32] When Cara decided to move down here we made it clear that we won't be taking care of her

[00:01:36] financially and she can't mooch off of us. I explicitly told her she isn't using our

[00:01:41] laundry or shower or bathroom, electric, a dress for mail etc. I told her if she's moving

[00:01:47] to her parents they are solely responsible for her. I said that as she tends to try and

[00:01:51] guilt me into helping her and is very manipulative.

[00:01:55] Cara decided to put the RV in between my shop and her dad's shop. I did make it clear that

[00:02:00] she can't plug into our shop as we aren't paying her electric and we need a main panel upgrade

[00:02:05] and don't have the power to run her RV. She was fine with that. Also to note her parents

[00:02:11] have a room in their house but some repairs and things need moved but Cara refuses to do

[00:02:16] that for free even if it would get her a place to live. And recently the application for her

[00:02:21] to get paid to be their caretaker got rejected as she failed the background check. She's

[00:02:26] slowly running out of money and has tried to mooch off of Diane and I but we are sticking

[00:02:30] to our guns saying no. She has heat, there are multiple food banks around, she has a

[00:02:35] car and is capable of getting a job just chooses not to.

[00:02:39] Diane and I also have a 7 month old son. Diane is breastfeeding and was overproducing a lot

[00:02:45] for a few months so she has almost 2000 ounces of milk in the freezer in our shop. She recently

[00:02:52] went back to work and is cycling through the stuff in the freezer. Cara texted us this

[00:02:56] morning saying we should check power to the shop as she plugged in for just a minute a

[00:03:01] few days ago and it shorted out and she noticed it still isn't working. Today I got home

[00:03:07] to Diane bawling as she went out to check and found that the power to the shop was out

[00:03:12] and all 2000 ounces had defrosted and had to be thrown away. Diane is not overproducing

[00:03:18] anymore and is devastated. Cara apparently blew the fuse box at my grandpas because she

[00:03:24] turned on the generator while plugged in so decided she'd just use ours. To say I'm

[00:03:30] pissed is an understatement. I explicitly told her not to use our power and for it to

[00:03:35] waste an insane amount of my wife's time and energy make me furious. I text Cara telling

[00:03:40] her what she did and Cara texts Diane saying she can just switch to formula. I told her

[00:03:46] we need an apology and Cara texts back saying it's not her fault we have shitty power.

[00:03:51] I'm sick of her entitlement and I know it's not legal to live in an RV here. I could report

[00:03:57] her and they usually give 45 days before the person has to leave. Cara has burned a lot

[00:04:03] of bridges and mentioned that the only place she has left to live is her car. I want to

[00:04:07] report her and get her away from us. Would I be the asshole if I report her and make

[00:04:12] her homeless? Edit. The RV is between the shops but entirely on my grandparents property

[00:04:18] as we wouldn't allow it on us. Edit 2. We made the report and are going to press charges.

[00:04:26] And what do we always say folks? Always press charges. It's incredibly sad. You can only

[00:04:32] imagine what your wife would be feeling after that. And that is so much milk. You just need

[00:04:39] to get that person away from your property. They're actively hurting your family. And

[00:04:45] it just says a lot really doesn't it? That she burned every bridge that she's come across.

[00:04:50] There's consequences to her actions and she needs to find those out pretty damn quick.

[00:04:56] Nova Rasberry says I just did some research. Breast milk is worth $3-5 per ounce. She

[00:05:03] costs you $6-10k in breast milk. Not to mention wear and tear on your wife's body, time

[00:05:10] and mental health. Mouse and Ladybug says my blood pressure just fucking spiked. I'm

[00:05:16] so angry for your wife. When I was nursing my first I pumped one single bottle a day

[00:05:21] so my spouse could feed baby at bedtime. And even that was torture for me. I'd be fucking

[00:05:27] in jail for murder if I pumped that much and it went to waste. Not the arsehole at all.

[00:05:33] Personality says not the arsehole your wife lost gallons of milk. And saying just switch

[00:05:38] the formula is so out of touch. Aqua says not the arsehole there is a reason why your

[00:05:44] mother has little to no connections left with other people. She just made things worse for

[00:05:49] your household and your mother is acting like it's no big deal. End it now before she does

[00:05:54] something that could have legal repercussions for you, your wife and your grandparents.

[00:06:00] And a final comment from Bad Wolf who says I breastfed 3 boys. Was engorged and had to

[00:06:05] use a pan pump as I couldn't afford an electric one. I tipped over a 4oz bottle of breast

[00:06:10] milk and fell to the floor weeping. Postpartum hormones anyone? 2000oz? I'd be rabid. I'm

[00:06:19] pissed on your behalf. Don't feel bad telling on her. She's broken the law, stomped on your

[00:06:24] reasonable boundaries of not using your electricity, caused massive damage. 2000oz of love and effort

[00:06:32] by an awful mention boundary stomping and now refuses to acknowledge the damage she's caused.

[00:06:37] Get her the fuck out of there. She'd do it again if you don't.

[00:06:43] OP comes in with her update and says I got asked for updates a few times so even though

[00:06:47] it's been chill I thought I'd explain what's happened. My wife didn't want to press charges,

[00:06:53] she has a hard time expressing boundaries and can be a pushover to keep the peace.

[00:06:58] But I decided we were going to. My mistake was calling my dad to let him know that was the plan.

[00:07:04] I do have her confession via text. My dad told my mom and she packed up her stuff that same night

[00:07:10] and left. Have no idea where she went. She sent me a text saying I'm a horrible son who only cares

[00:07:16] about money and then she blocked me. We're moving forward with legal action against her but it's

[00:07:21] honestly better already with her being wherever she is and not right by my family. We won't be

[00:07:27] speaking to her again.

[00:07:46] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this

[00:08:02] situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:08:16] Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below.

[00:08:30] My girlfriend Kate and I, 22 female, 23 male have been together for 3 years now.

[00:08:36] My girlfriend has a friend, Tom, now ex-friend from college who used to be interested in her

[00:08:42] and asked her out. But he started dating someone else and she, this friend and his girlfriend,

[00:08:48] Jenna became great friends of each other. These three were extremely open with each other and

[00:08:54] he had a group chat where these three discussed all sorts of things and made sex jokes. Typical

[00:08:59] I thought. However, I drew the line where he shouldn't directly talk about suggestive things

[00:09:05] with her. This wasn't really something Kate understood as they've been in each other's

[00:09:09] lives for years and she led me to believe I simply couldn't understand their dynamic.

[00:09:14] I was also extremely uncomfortable with them hanging out alone together. Kate is extremely

[00:09:20] loyal to me and I wouldn't say she's the sort of woman to cheat. However, in my opinion,

[00:09:26] she can be extremely naive, especially when it comes to this person. Tom used to make suggestive

[00:09:32] jokes which I disliked but she used to laugh it off. I picked up on some bad energy from him

[00:09:38] and do not think he has good intentions when it comes to my girl. My parents took my brothers

[00:09:43] and I to vacation for two weeks so I wasn't in town. Kate, Tom and Jenna made plans to hang out

[00:09:49] together but then Jenna fell sick last minute and they had already purchased tickets so Tom and Kate

[00:09:55] went together. I raised objections to it and told her not to get drunk around him but she dismissed

[00:10:01] me and got angry that I was trying to control her. I was supposed to arrive four days after her plans

[00:10:07] and Kate didn't message me for the entire three days. We both were angry at each other I assumed.

[00:10:13] However, when I came back she invited me to her place and broke down and started apologizing.

[00:10:18] She confessed that she was so mad at me that she had like five shots that night and

[00:10:22] she didn't realize when Tom groped her. She slapped him hard in the bar and took an Uber

[00:10:28] and came home. She said she was ashamed of telling me earlier and that I was right about him.

[00:10:34] I was trying to really hold myself together and didn't lash out at her or anything.

[00:10:38] I said that we need to immediately report him to the university authority about what he did and

[00:10:43] I will support her. However, I wasn't very open or affectionate with her. She did cut him off and

[00:10:49] Jenna broke up with Tom. However, I am extremely furious at Kate for completely dismissing and

[00:10:55] disregarding my feelings around Tom and getting drunk when I expressed it makes me uncomfortable

[00:11:00] on top of them hanging out alone. I'm not trying to victim shame her but that doesn't mean she gets

[00:11:06] to learn nothing from this and refuse to have a good sense to know who to trust and who not to.

[00:11:11] I feel like a total asshole for even feeling angry at her but I can't help how I feel.

[00:11:17] She's picked up on this and I have no idea how to tell her this.

[00:11:20] ETA I'm mad at my girlfriend for even being able to trust someone who conducts himself

[00:11:26] inappropriately. It took her being assaulted to listen to me finally. That's what I'm upset about.

[00:11:33] Like she shouldn't have had to have this awful experience in order to finally process every

[00:11:38] single time I raised concerns about this. This is just terrible. Like if she got scammed out of her

[00:11:44] life savings because she trusted a guy over me but I kept shouting repeatedly not to do that,

[00:11:49] would I still have compassion for her? I would struggle for empathy at least for some time

[00:11:54] because I would consider such a person unreliable to make big decisions in life.

[00:11:59] I feel disrespected and disgusted with her. How do I hold her responsible for her ignorance?

[00:12:05] I am so mad at her I want to break up with her. I'm extremely sorry if my post is triggering but

[00:12:11] I'm not blaming her for the actions of the douche who groped her without her consent

[00:12:15] and assaulted her. His actions are entirely his own and I'm going to make sure to get him fucking

[00:12:21] booted off campus for what he did. I mean I don't know how to frame this without being problematic

[00:12:26] but she didn't prioritize her safety and acted like a freaking adult for god's sake and thought

[00:12:31] it was totally okay to get drunk like that and that too out of spite. Like this whole situation

[00:12:37] tells me that unless she gets to experience the worst of the worst undeserved consequences,

[00:12:42] she wouldn't change or listen to me. This isn't someone I want to be with. I just wish she stopped

[00:12:48] taking my concerns as an affront to her autonomy.

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[00:13:58] Myth Aphrodite says you aren't mad at her for being sexually assaulted. You're upset your

[00:14:02] girlfriend didn't place any value in your opinions, words or thoughts. As if she had no respect for

[00:14:08] your opinion, words or thoughts. Commenter replies saying this right here is the fact.

[00:14:14] She blew the op off and disregarded his feelings on the matter and unfortunately it turned out bad

[00:14:20] for her but thank god it didn't turn out even worse. He needs to sit down with her and let her

[00:14:25] know how disappointed he feels and betrayed how she disregarded him when he knew something wasn't

[00:14:31] right. So often women do this and get offended and tell their boyfriend and husband he's insecure.

[00:14:37] Men know men and we don't lie when we know exactly what the other man wants out of her.

[00:14:42] Wills Irish says not the arsehole. She was drinking and hanging out with a guy

[00:14:47] that asked her out and expressed interest in her. Maybe you trust her but that's inherently

[00:14:52] untrustworthy behavior. The good news is that this is largely a young person's problem.

[00:14:57] More mature people rarely have to be told it's not cool to go drinking with someone that wants

[00:15:02] to fuck them while they're in a relationship with someone else. That's so obvious it should never

[00:15:07] have to be stated out loud. I have a few hard boundaries for romantic relationships that

[00:15:12] have stood me well over the years. Never date someone who prioritizes her friends over you.

[00:15:17] It's fine if they're close but if she's cancelling plans with you in non-emergencies to spend time

[00:15:22] with them, cut her loose. This will never improve. Never date someone who's friends with ex-lovers.

[00:15:28] People can say whatever they want about insecurity and control. This is just begging to get cheated

[00:15:34] on. Same with hanging out with men who want in their pants. Just don't get involved with people

[00:15:39] who do this. And Becoming Better Then says,

[00:15:43] Everyone seems to be overlooking a key thing. She doesn't respect your boundaries.

[00:15:48] You expressed discomfort with the sexual innuendo and jokes, and instead of listening or respecting,

[00:15:54] she minimized it and simply said you couldn't possibly understand their dynamic.

[00:15:58] Later, you expressed a boundary of them being alone together and her drinking.

[00:16:02] Once again, instead of listening or respecting, she chose her own path.

[00:16:06] She didn't ignore your boundary, she actively crossed it out of spite.

[00:16:11] This is a toxic behavior. I don't know you and I can't judge how you are with her.

[00:16:16] What I can say is that she will cross boundaries again in the future and spite you,

[00:16:21] if she feels justified. Let's be honest, she doesn't love you. What she did isn't something

[00:16:27] a person in love would do. She spent three days after a supposedly traumatizing experience and

[00:16:32] she didn't reach out to you. She's not your partner, she's your placeholder.

[00:16:37] And honestly, you're the same for her. Move on.

[00:16:42] So OP did update their posts and said, I've had time to read all the comments. Most of you were

[00:16:47] supportive and had a balanced perspective. However, some were uber extreme on both ends.

[00:16:53] Some called me an evil little misogynist who wants to act like her dad and control her and shame her.

[00:16:59] And some called her a cheating repugnant whore. None of the two extremes are true,

[00:17:04] lol. I did however have fun reading that so thank you for the laughs. Particularly chuckled at the

[00:17:09] pearl clutching over the phrase my girl when I didn't even think for a second before writing that

[00:17:15] out. On to the main update. My now ex heard back from health and counseling services that will

[00:17:21] guide her to seek support and hold Tom accountable. Probably intense sensitivity training and

[00:17:26] attention based on the degree of the assault. My days weren't so great as you can tell. I was

[00:17:31] willing to give her a chance and move forward with her. At first, I requested full disclosure

[00:17:36] including as to why she didn't get in touch with me over those three days. She was extremely

[00:17:41] hesitant in showing me her chats with him, in which she accused him of being inappropriate with

[00:17:46] her that crossed the line. Tom was apologetic and told her that he was too drunk and didn't

[00:17:52] know what he was doing. At first, she didn't believe that and was scared about how Jenna would

[00:17:56] think. This made her rethink and she almost excused his actions away and decided not to tell

[00:18:02] me. But then she changed her mind and told Jenna immediately and then she told me. This shouldn't

[00:18:08] feel like a breach of trust but it did because she was this close to being willfully ignorant again.

[00:18:16] I was extremely upset at her and asked her what makes her so blind to the obvious. I really

[00:18:21] wanted to know what goes inside her mind that she continues to make these epically bad decisions.

[00:18:27] I decided that fine, I'll let her take this as a learning experience and told her that she needs

[00:18:32] to take me seriously too. Because despite what happened, her being sexually assaulted doesn't

[00:18:37] negate that she has continued to disrespect me and I expect better from her as a partner.

[00:18:42] This angered her greatly and she expressed that I'm not her dad, emphasizing her right to make

[00:18:47] mistakes. She even had the fucking audacity to suggest she didn't feel like an equal partner,

[00:18:54] insinuating I shouldn't be holding her accountable for her actions, precisely when I consistently

[00:18:59] downplay my concerns and making me feel small. Oh sweet irony. Look, I may not be the best,

[00:19:09] most compassionate person in the world but I don't need someone who arrogantly dismisses my concerns

[00:19:14] as some petty, abusive, trashy, obsessed jealousy in the relationship as if I'm the crazy one.

[00:19:20] I don't care what modern day world believes but I stubbornly believe that relationship

[00:19:25] isn't about making selfish choices that affect your partner too. It isn't about one person,

[00:19:30] it's about two people who at least acknowledge comfort of their partner in decision making.

[00:19:35] Look, I know I'm just in college but I honestly at least imagine her as my future wife,

[00:19:40] my loved one. However, I don't need my loved one to dismiss my concerns about

[00:19:44] her safety that affect me too, as controlling. If I stayed in a relationship with her,

[00:19:51] no doubt she would find excuses about not feeling like an equal and use that to call me controlling,

[00:19:57] an opportunity I refuse to give her, by breaking up with her. I don't need my partner to make me

[00:20:03] out to be the male equivalent of a nagging shrew, where she's the ball and I'm the chains in the

[00:20:08] relationship. It just makes me cringe hard about unintentionally taking that role in the relationship

[00:20:14] just because from my point of view, her actions came from a place of willful ignorance,

[00:20:19] spite, and lack of respect for our relationship. And I think I can never have a high opinion of

[00:20:24] Kate unless she changes as part of her personality, which would be unfair given her awfully limited

[00:20:31] understanding of her surroundings. If I stayed with her, she'd complain about being treated like

[00:20:36] a child most probably because I'll see her as acting like one, going about drinking to spite

[00:20:42] her partner and not being able to recognize and put boundaries around inappropriate conduct,

[00:20:47] and that's exhausting. Maybe I'm wrong for saying that but I sincerely hope she grows into an

[00:20:53] emotionally mature individual who doesn't feel the need to retaliate like a child when her

[00:20:58] autonomy feels threatened just because a loved one is trying to look out for her. Peace.

[00:22:26] and dig in at hellofresh.com. Let's get this dinner party started.