Mom Says I Fractured The Family When I Kicked My Bro Out Of My Wedding During His Speech

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[00:01:08] Das ist die erste Geschichte.

[00:01:09] Jetzt kommt vom Am I the Arsehole hier?

[00:01:13] Das heißt Am I the Arsehole hier?

[00:01:15] Für Kicking my brother out of my wedding.

[00:01:17] Für Making my fiancé cry.

[00:01:19] My wedding was this past weekend.

[00:01:22] Und ich bin honestly still in shock over what happened.

[00:01:25] My fiancé, now wife and I have been together for 7 years.

[00:01:28] We've gone through everything together.

[00:01:31] Moving in, job losses, her battle with anxiety.

[00:01:34] Everything.

[00:01:35] So our wedding day was supposed to be our day to finally celebrate all that, right?

[00:01:40] Well, it was until my brother decided to ruin it.

[00:01:44] In context, my brother, 30 male, has always had a weird thing about pranks.

[00:01:49] He calls them jokes, but honestly they've been mean spirited and embarrassing.

[00:01:55] Growing up, I'd laugh it off or get mad and he'd say I was being too sensitive.

[00:01:59] But this time, it went way too far.

[00:02:02] During our reception, he got up to give a speech.

[00:02:05] I thought it would be nice.

[00:02:07] Maybe he'd say something heartfelt for once.

[00:02:09] But no.

[00:02:10] Instead, he pulls out a fucking slideshow of hilarious photos of my wife.

[00:02:15] Old ones from her Instagram where she's crying, looking vulnerable or just super unflattering.

[00:02:20] And he starts making jokes about her weight fluctuations, saying how she used to look like a twig when we first started dating and now she's more well fed.

[00:02:29] My wife's face turned white.

[00:02:31] She started crying quietly.

[00:02:33] And my brother, he just kept going, laughing like he was the funniest guy on the planet.

[00:02:38] The whole room was dead silent.

[00:02:41] I saw red.

[00:02:42] I stood up, walked right over to him and told him to leave, right in the middle of his speech.

[00:02:47] I said he was done.

[00:02:48] And I didn't care if he was my brother.

[00:02:50] My wife was humiliated.

[00:02:53] He tried to brush it off, saying I was ruining the fun and that everyone else thought it was funny.

[00:02:58] No one laughed.

[00:02:59] Not one person.

[00:03:01] He refused to leave at first, so I told security to get him out.

[00:03:05] He stormed out, calling me a fucking drama queen on the way out.

[00:03:09] Now my parents are furious with me for embarrassing my brother at my own wedding.

[00:03:13] They think I overreacted, that I should have let it slide because he didn't mean it.

[00:03:18] My mum even said my wife was overreacting too and that this was just all a part of his sense of humour.

[00:03:25] My wife hasn't stopped crying since.

[00:03:28] I told my family we're taking a break from them.

[00:03:30] But now my phone is blowing up with texts from my mum and dad saying I fractured the family and ruined my own wedding over a joke.

[00:03:37] I get that I blew up, but I couldn't stand seeing my wife so hurt.

[00:03:41] Did I go too far?

[00:03:43] Am I the arsehole here?

[00:03:46] Look, this isn't a prank.

[00:03:48] This isn't a funny joke.

[00:03:50] Jokes are meant to be that people, that the wife would have laughed at as well.

[00:03:54] That's not the case.

[00:03:55] There was many points in this whole process your brother could have taken a step back and went,

[00:04:00] Hold up, that's going to come across really shitty or that's really hurtful.

[00:04:05] Why would I do this kind of thing?

[00:04:07] Could have questioned himself.

[00:04:08] He planned a fucking slideshow.

[00:04:10] That doesn't just happen.

[00:04:11] That takes planning.

[00:04:12] That takes downloading photos.

[00:04:14] That takes putting it into a slideshow.

[00:04:17] Any one of these points he could have stopped.

[00:04:20] And making jokes about people's weight is just such a shitty thing to do.

[00:04:26] It can cause so much damage to the point of eating disorders.

[00:04:29] It's just absolutely disgusting.

[00:04:31] And to the mum and dad saying you fractured the family.

[00:04:34] No, they've chose to by backing up that brother and his shitty, quotes, sense of humour.

[00:04:40] But acceptable wins says your brother really embarrassed your wife in what was meant to be a special day to celebrate you both.

[00:04:47] It sounds like he got a lot of growing up to do and you were the first one to tell him so.

[00:04:51] Your wife is now a part of your family and your brother needs to realise that he is seriously messed up.

[00:04:56] Your parents have probably been enabling your brother too.

[00:04:59] He needs to man up and apologise.

[00:05:01] Not the arsehole.

[00:05:03] Music Mammy says that now everyone knows what a complete arsehole the brother is.

[00:05:08] Someone has just got to tell the parents that they've backed the wrong child.

[00:05:12] Construction though says I'd bet good money that fractured the family means that everyone else now thinks OP's brother,

[00:05:17] and possibly parents too, are weirdos for this whole situation.

[00:05:21] This wasn't a prank.

[00:05:23] He curated a fucking slideshow and roast session for the wedding.

[00:05:26] It's even stranger because it was completely uneven.

[00:05:29] Why does he feel the need to pick on the bride over his own brother?

[00:05:32] Probably because he knew she'd given the reaction he wanted.

[00:05:36] And he's an arsehole.

[00:05:38] So, around 12 or so days later OP comes in with an update and says,

[00:05:43] Hey everyone, I posted here a little while ago about what went down at my wedding.

[00:05:47] And I just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and support.

[00:05:51] It's been a rough week, but I figured I'd update everyone on what happened since then.

[00:05:56] After kicking my brother out, I stuck to my word until my family were taking a break.

[00:06:01] I blocked my brother on everything, and my wife and I decided to focus on each other for the week.

[00:06:06] Just trying to recapture some of the joy that was stolen from us on our big day.

[00:06:10] We went on a mini honeymoon to a cabin we'd rented and tried to shut up the drama for a bit.

[00:06:15] However, as soon as we got back, my parents showed up unannounced.

[00:06:19] They claimed they just wanted to talk it out.

[00:06:22] But the second they sat down, it was clear they were there to defend my brother.

[00:06:25] They kept repeating that I overreacted and that he was just trying to be funny.

[00:06:30] My mum even said, you know how your brother is.

[00:06:33] He didn't mean to hurt anyone.

[00:06:34] I told them that whatever he meant it or not, he did hurt my wife.

[00:06:38] And that's not something I can just brush off.

[00:06:40] My dad then hit me with, family is family.

[00:06:43] You don't turn your back on blood.

[00:06:45] And I honestly lost it.

[00:06:46] I told them that my family is the one I chose to build with my wife.

[00:06:50] And if they can't respect her, then they don't get to be a part of our lives.

[00:06:53] They left in a huff, saying I was being manipulated and that my wife was too sensitive.

[00:06:59] The day after that, my brother tried reaching out.

[00:07:02] Through a mutual cousin this time, saying he didn't mean any harm and that he's willing to

[00:07:07] forgive me if I apologize for embarrassing him in front of everyone.

[00:07:11] This absolutely floored me.

[00:07:13] I realized in that moment that he still doesn't see what he did is wrong.

[00:07:18] I haven't responded and I don't plan to.

[00:07:20] My wife and I have started couples therapy.

[00:07:23] Not because there's anything wrong between us, but because I want to make sure that she

[00:07:27] feels supported and knows I'm fully on her side.

[00:07:30] It's been helping her process what happened and I think it's helping me realize just how

[00:07:33] toxic my brother's behavior has always been.

[00:07:36] We've decided to have a small private vow renewal next year.

[00:07:40] Just us and a few close friends to reclaim what that day was supposed to be for us.

[00:07:45] In the meantime, we're focusing on our future together and cutting out anyone who doesn't

[00:07:49] respect this as a couple.

[00:07:51] So yeah, maybe I did fracture my family, but if my brother's jokes are more important to

[00:07:55] them than my wife's happiness, then I'm honestly okay with that.

[00:07:59] Thank you again to everyone who reached out.

[00:08:01] It meant more than you know.

[00:08:04] Faithful neighbor says on the back of this one, not the arsehole.

[00:08:06] As we said in your previous post, screw your family.

[00:08:09] You deserve a good life with your wife, OP.

[00:08:12] Jenico says, Mom, Dad, Brother, here is a bill for our wedding and the reception.

[00:08:17] Until I am reimbursed in full, I'm going no contact with all three of you.

[00:08:21] And for the record, this is my decision.

[00:08:23] My wife wants to let this all go and move on, but I do not.

[00:08:26] You've all made excuses for brother's shitty immature behavior his entire life,

[00:08:31] and now it's cost you one of your children.

[00:08:33] The three of you will pay for the wedding brother ruined, even if you have to mortgage your house

[00:08:37] and work until you're 80 to do it.

[00:08:38] Or this will be the last time any of you see or hear from me.

[00:08:42] Not the arsehole here.

[00:08:44] Holding them financially responsible doesn't mean you forgive them.

[00:08:47] It just gives you the ability to have wedding 2.0 without them.

[00:08:53] Jew Wolfie says, I love this response for three reasons.

[00:08:56] Anytime they try to initiate contact, you can reply.

[00:08:59] Do you have my money?

[00:09:00] No.

[00:09:01] Okay, goodbye.

[00:09:02] The burden in terms of fixing the situation is clearly in their court.

[00:09:06] Their ambiguity.

[00:09:06] And three, people who owe you money tend to avoid you.

[00:09:10] The problem solves itself.

[00:09:13] Lots of people on the back of this one saying,

[00:09:15] at least we know who the golden child of that family is.

[00:09:18] Which, you know, it does make sense.

[00:09:20] The absolute enabling when you can see how shitty the behavior was from the brother in all of this

[00:09:25] and still backing him up.

[00:09:27] It's just the way he is.

[00:09:28] Family.

[00:09:29] Family.

[00:09:30] One more time for the people in the back.

[00:09:32] Say it with me guys.

[00:09:34] Family.

[00:09:35] And you said maybe you did fracture the family.

[00:09:37] Family.

[00:09:38] Once again, these were not your actions.

[00:09:41] These are actions that your family chose to do.

[00:09:43] You made the right decisions in this, in my opinion.

[00:09:45] But what do you guys make of this one?

[00:09:47] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:09:51] Imagine sitting in that wedding and watching that go down.

[00:09:53] Holy moly.

[00:09:55] I was cringing at the thought of a slideshow just tearing someone else down.

[00:09:59] It's just, oh, deary me.

[00:10:01] But let's move on to another story which comes from Suzy Woozy 420 from the Am I the Asshole subreddit

[00:10:08] and says, Am I the Asshole for continuing to wear makeup and dress in my normal style

[00:10:13] around a friend who thinks her husband has a crush on me?

[00:10:16] My 29 female friend, 31 female, has told me that her husband, 35 male, has a crush on me.

[00:10:23] And has recently told her that he fantasizes over me.

[00:10:26] This already makes me feel very awkward but now she is asked if I can stop wearing makeup

[00:10:31] and wear baggy clothes around him.

[00:10:34] We went out for dinner last night at a reasonably expensive restaurant with a few others.

[00:10:38] Seven of us in total.

[00:10:40] And she texted me when I got home saying she was angry at me for looking hot

[00:10:44] after she asked me not to wear makeup.

[00:10:46] She's my friend and I want to do the right thing but there's nothing I could wear that is baggy

[00:10:51] that would have suited the restaurant that we were in, Michelin star.

[00:10:55] My style is very conservative and I was wearing a very average dress with heels.

[00:11:00] I've written out several responses ranging from an apology to being quite rude.

[00:11:04] I wanted to sense check my thoughts here before I go back to her.

[00:11:08] I don't want to make life difficult for her but what she's asking for feels unreasonable.

[00:11:12] Am I the asshole?

[00:11:17] Now is summer and soon are the holidays again.

[00:11:21] This can also be very stressful for dogs.

[00:11:24] Many four-bears react to other things with a distressed

[00:11:28] and that's again stress for your customers.

[00:11:31] But it's a quick and easy help.

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[00:11:37] Streu einfach einen Beutel über das tägliche Futter.

[00:11:40] Die außergewöhnliche Zusammensetzung mit lebenden guten Darmbakterien

[00:11:43] stellt das Gleichgewicht im Darm wieder her.

[00:11:46] Natürlich kannst du Proplan Forti Flora auch präventiv

[00:11:49] oder bei alltäglichen Verdauungsbeschwerden einsetzen.

[00:11:52] Es unterstützt auch bei Ernährungsumstellungen oder Antibiotika-Einnahme.

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[00:12:27] Aldi

[00:12:28] Gutes für alle

[00:12:32] Die erste line in der ersten Paragraph absoluten threw mich in die selbst.

[00:12:37] Sieht sich auf die Worte und sagt,

[00:12:39] Oh, du kennst du deinem Mann?

[00:12:41] Ich fantasize über sie.

[00:12:43] Aber das ist einfach nicht der Arschluss in dieser Situation.

[00:12:48] Sieht zu den falschen Menschen in dieser Situation.

[00:12:51] Die Frau ist einfach nicht deine Verantwortung.

[00:12:54] Altering deine appearance würde nicht sein.

[00:12:57] Und wenn sie eine Frau ist auf das,

[00:12:59] Sieht zu sagen,

[00:13:00] dass sie über ihre Mates fantasieren.

[00:13:02] Dann ist es etwas viel deeper,

[00:13:05] in der Marriage,

[00:13:06] die muss sich zwischen ihnen beitragen.

[00:13:08] Aber Cover Character says,

[00:13:10] Total not the arschluss.

[00:13:12] Für eine Sache,

[00:13:12] ich denke,

[00:13:13] es ist möglich,

[00:13:13] für eine schöne Restaurant

[00:13:15] zu einer Frau ist.

[00:13:18] Und eher generell,

[00:13:20] als sie nicht auf die Frau,

[00:13:22] oder

[00:13:22] das ist eine Frau,

[00:13:24] das ist ein Problem,

[00:13:27] das ist eine Frau,

[00:13:28] nicht eine Frau.

[00:13:30] Hier ist eine andere Sache.

[00:13:31] Warum auf die Frau hat sie dir das sie hat?

[00:13:34] Das ist komplett inappropriate.

[00:13:36] Das ist etwas zu beantwenden.

[00:13:37] In der Marriage.

[00:13:39] Ich hoffe,

[00:13:40] ich bin nicht sicher,

[00:13:40] warum sie gesagt hat sie.

[00:13:41] Die erste Mal,

[00:13:42] sie sagte es,

[00:13:43] was cute that he had a crush on me. Then she started getting a bit more detailed about it.

[00:13:49] Every blueberry says, here's what you write to her. Fixing your marriage is not my problem.

[00:13:54] Please seek marriage counseling instead of policing my clothes.

[00:14:00] Opie came in to edit the post and says, edit one, thank you so much for all your responses.

[00:14:05] It's 4.21am here in the UK, so I'll write out and send a response tomorrow and we'll update

[00:14:10] you all on here. So I can't respond to everyone. I didn't expect so many responses. Edit two,

[00:14:17] while I was reading your messages, he just liked an old Instagram pic from way back.

[00:14:21] Bikini pic. He is now blocked. Final update in edit three, I responded with the following,

[00:14:28] sorry it's taken me a while to reply but I wanted to consider this properly and not react emotively.

[00:14:33] I'm sorry you feel that way but I don't think it's fair or reasonable to ask me to change how I look

[00:14:38] because of your husband. My advice is to speak to, husband's name, and work on your relationship

[00:14:44] because projecting your issues onto me isn't going to help you but it will damage our friendship.

[00:14:49] You have nothing to be insecure about. You're the most beautiful person inside and out I've ever met.

[00:14:54] I'm here for you if you want to talk through it but ultimately, I can't help if I'm smoking hot.

[00:15:00] Just kidding. Five minutes after I pressed send, she knocked on my door. She was already on her way,

[00:15:04] with a bunch of flowers and cried and gave me a hug while apologizing. She told me they were having

[00:15:10] problems and it was wrong of her to take it out on me. We've had a long chat and I'm going to be

[00:15:14] there to support my friend. Thank you all for your input. You all helped so much.

[00:15:20] Couple of comments after this, enough pirate says not the arsehole but the husband totally is.

[00:15:25] I just saw the edit and I'm glad you guys were able to talk it out. Hope she finds someone better

[00:15:30] than someone like him. Another commenter says perfect response and good that your friend realized

[00:15:35] what she asked is not of your concern. Now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys

[00:15:42] make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to

[00:15:48] another story. Now, our next story comes from traditional lion4714 and says am I the arsehole for

[00:15:56] always putting my boobs on the table. So basically, my group of friends, about eight total, get together

[00:16:03] every week for D&D. There are only two women in our group, including myself. It's always at friend A's

[00:16:11] house because he's the DM, dungeon master and has his fancy table in his whole setup there.

[00:16:17] A has a fiance who recently moved in with him. She's cool and I don't really have anything against her.

[00:16:23] She just has a grown up group of friends and doesn't have the same interest as us or click or a lack of a

[00:16:29] better word with her husband's friends, us. She's recently has been trying to get more into A's

[00:16:35] interest. So she's been there for our games. She doesn't play with us, just kind of watches and

[00:16:40] plays on our phone, which is fine. Of course, A has a table he set up specifically for the game,

[00:16:47] one with a recessed middle. So we don't have to put away our stuff at the end. And he just puts a leaf

[00:16:52] over the top to protect it. Because of that, in order to move around your character, you have to

[00:16:57] lean forward or stand to be able to reach. Now, I have big boobs. I'm not a particularly big woman.

[00:17:04] I'm in my late twenties, five foot four and 155 ish pounds with H cup breasts. And yes, before you ask,

[00:17:12] I have already started the process of getting reduction and I cannot wait to have this weight

[00:17:17] off of me. The problem is that when I lean forward to move my character, my breasts squish against the

[00:17:22] side of the table. And after a while, it gets uncomfortable and painful. So I've taken up to

[00:17:28] lifting up a little and settling with my breasts sitting on the edge of the table. It doesn't push

[00:17:33] them up or call attention to them. To be honest, I don't even think it's noticeable. With the height of

[00:17:38] the chairs, I can still sit normally with them there and lean forward without it hurting my boobs.

[00:17:43] I've been doing this for months and no one has said anything. Last week, A's fiance snapped out

[00:17:49] of nowhere and accused me of trying to put myself on display and to put my boobs away because no one

[00:17:55] cares. I was shocked and didn't know what she was talking about at first. Neither did anyone else

[00:18:01] until she pointed at my boobs and called attention to what I was doing. She got really, really upset

[00:18:07] and caused a scene and we ended the night early. She's still mad at me and doesn't want me to come over

[00:18:13] to the house anymore. I've apologized and said I try not to do it anymore and even told her how I'm

[00:18:19] going to get it reduced next year. She called me a show off and slut and is asking A to stop being

[00:18:25] friends with me. I'm at a loss. I do this all the time. I've even caught myself doing it at home with

[00:18:30] my own table without even thinking about it. Am I the asshole? Absolutely not. Don't let that fiance

[00:18:37] shame you for your body at all. I've read stories. I know people in real life have chronic pain and

[00:18:45] discomfort in their back and their neck and all you did was find a practical solution to alleviate

[00:18:52] the sort of pain or the potential pain that you'd be getting. As you said, she's the only one with a

[00:18:58] problem where. Final figure comes in and quotes the bit where it said no one cares and then says wrong.

[00:19:04] She cares. She cares very much. She's been stewing over this for a long time. What you're doing is not

[00:19:10] sexual or seductive and your friend group knows that. It's not wrong either. As a fellow HH Cup girl,

[00:19:17] I feel your pain. I feel it deeply. Usually my back and shoulders too. She wants you out and wants to be

[00:19:24] the queen bee. Sadly, it's not what you're doing. It's you. If it wasn't the boobs, she'd found something

[00:19:30] else wrong. Drinking your coke too sexy. Laughing too loud. Breathing. Where is A in this? Does he

[00:19:37] know his fiance is calling you names? Not the asshole, by the way. Feminist 1946 says not the

[00:19:45] asshole. She sees you as a rival. Many women make their men get rid of their female friends.

[00:19:50] I've been called a lot of nasty names and then comes the call that I can't see them anymore.

[00:19:55] As if I was interested. Blows my mind. All you can do is not do it with other women. Feel securing

[00:20:02] yourself before creating a long-term relationship. Make sure that if there is flirting or advances

[00:20:07] from someone's man, you shut it down. Kay Rizal says she's not trying to get involved in her

[00:20:12] fiance's hobbies. She's been joining to keep her eye on you. Waiting for the flirting or trying to

[00:20:18] catch a stolen glance. The fact that nothing has been going on doesn't change the fact that she's

[00:20:23] crazy and jealous and shouldn't be getting married. But when she saw your tits, she thought

[00:20:28] she finally caught you. What was the reaction of everyone else when she started yelling about the

[00:20:32] boobs being on the table? Oh my word. That's such a weird scene when you really think about it as

[00:20:38] well. Just imagine them sat around this table. Girlfriend's at the side there on her phone and

[00:20:42] then suddenly when OP rests her boobs on the table, the girlfriend suddenly points at them and says,

[00:20:48] boobs! What the fuck? Be like, Jesus. All right, calm down, love. Ditto says you're not the asshole and

[00:20:56] quotes put my boobs away and then says, yeah, sure, just pop them off and leave them in the car

[00:21:02] slash sarcasm. Then quotes because no one cares and says she obviously cares. Quotes again saying she

[00:21:08] called me a show-off and is asking A to stop being friends with me and then saying green is such an

[00:21:13] unattractive color sometimes. Is she going to tell A to stop being friends with all females

[00:21:18] with her features that activate her insecurities and envy? And one more comment which says not the

[00:21:24] asshole. Also, since when is she allowed to tell people whether or not people are allowed to come

[00:21:28] over to her fiance's house? She doesn't own it and your D&D campaign has been running there for a lot

[00:21:33] longer than she has. If she wants to put limits on you, then when she's in the room gaming or just

[00:21:39] being in there, A should get a two by four cut to strap against her chest for the time she's in here.

[00:21:45] Sorry, I'm petty, but I'm a girl and A's girl's shit is ridiculous. Other people were going down the

[00:21:51] path of that she's now supervising his free time with his friends and it's only going to snowball

[00:21:57] from here, potentially taking away the table at some point as well. You know, like he can't be playing

[00:22:02] games and having a gaming table. That's got to go. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:09] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being

[00:22:15] here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means the

[00:22:20] absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being here. Truly, it means the absolute world.

[00:22:24] And hopefully I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:22:29] Now is Herbst and soon are already the Feiertage before the door. That can also for Hunde

[00:23:05] very much stress. Viele Vierbeine reagieren unter anderem mit einer gestörten Verdauung. Und das ist

[00:23:11] wiederum Stress für ihre Besitzer. Aber es gibt schnelle und einfache Hilfe. Das Probioticum Purina

[00:23:17] Proplan Forti Flora. Streu einfach einen Beutel über das tägliche Futter. Die außergewöhnliche

[00:23:23] Zusammensetzung mit lebenden guten Darmbakterien stellt das Gleichgewicht im Darm wieder her. Natürlich

[00:23:28] kannst du Proplan Forti Flora auch präventiv oder bei alltäglichen Verdauungsbeschwerden

[00:23:33] einsetzen. Es unterstützt auch bei Ernährungsumstellungen oder Antibiotika-Einnahme. Purina Proplan Forti

[00:23:39] Flora. Jetzt auf shop.purina.de.