I'm Worried For Our Future As My Girlfriend Has Princess Syndrome r/Relationships

[00:00:00] Imagine the softest sheets you've ever felt.

[00:00:03] Now imagine them getting even softer over time.

[00:00:06] That's what you'll feel with Bolland Branches Organic Cotton Sheets.

[00:00:10] In a recent customer survey, 96% replied that Bolland Branch sheets get softer with every wash.

[00:00:17] Start getting your best night's sleep in these sheets that get softer and softer for years to come.

[00:00:23] Try their sheets with a 30-night guarantee.

[00:00:25] Plus get 15% off your first order at bollandbranch.com.

[00:00:30] Code Buttery. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

[00:01:04] Male with my girlfriend 23FGF has Princess Syndrome.

[00:01:10] Throw away because my main can be connected to my girlfriend's blog.

[00:01:14] I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months.

[00:01:17] We've been casual friends since college, but only began dating after she graduated.

[00:01:22] We get along really well.

[00:01:24] When I say Princess Syndrome, I don't mean that she is spoiled or entitled because she isn't.

[00:01:29] Her clothes seem to take over her life.

[00:01:32] She dresses like a sort of fairy tale princess on a nearly daily basis, excluding at work.

[00:01:38] Long frilly skirts, lacy blouses, things like that.

[00:01:42] It works for her because she is pretty and can pull it off.

[00:01:46] At first I found it very endearing,

[00:01:48] but then I became aware of how much time she spends on her outfits.

[00:01:52] She runs a blog that has a sizable amount of followers

[00:01:56] and she is constantly posting out outfit pictures, links to clothing items and whatnot.

[00:02:01] She spends a few hours a day on her blog at least.

[00:02:03] Then she spends time sewing items for new outfits or for her Etsy store.

[00:02:09] When we go out, we get lots of stares at what she's wearing.

[00:02:12] I've also caught people sneaking pictures of her on their cell phones.

[00:02:16] This attention makes me uncomfortable.

[00:02:18] I have asked her to tone it down a bit,

[00:02:20] but she took that to mean not wearing anything in her hair when we're out together.

[00:02:25] I've told her several times I love her just the way she is,

[00:02:29] but she seems to brush it off.

[00:02:31] I'd hoped when she started a new job in the career of her choice

[00:02:34] that she'd become more serious,

[00:02:36] but her new boss and co-workers encourage her.

[00:02:39] I worry that people won't take her seriously or how kind and intelligent she is.

[00:02:45] How can I talk to her about dressing more appropriately without hurting her feelings?

[00:02:50] Now you'll have to excuse my ignorance on this one.

[00:02:52] I went straight to Google when I saw the title and saw Princess Syndrome.

[00:02:56] I did have a quick browse at like some of the signs of having it,

[00:03:00] which it didn't really seem to match up very well.

[00:03:03] I might be totally wrong.

[00:03:04] I need to educate myself a bit more later on on that,

[00:03:07] which I'll have a look for sure.

[00:03:08] So you have to excuse what I say with that in mind,

[00:03:12] but it just felt like this is just someone who's living the life that the way they want to.

[00:03:17] It sounds like everyone around her is quite happy.

[00:03:19] She's happy the way she is and you know,

[00:03:21] it doesn't seem to be having any other negative effects apart from that you disliking it.

[00:03:26] It also it sounds like it's connected to a hobby slash job in the fact that she blogs about it and it's on Etsy as well

[00:03:33] and she's got like a good amount of followers that enjoy what she does at the same time.

[00:03:38] So I'm struggling myself to see the issue here,

[00:03:42] but the first commenter says sounds like you have to get over your insecurities.

[00:03:46] This is a hobby her interest and she's getting positive reactions.

[00:03:50] You shouldn't be trying to change her especially when it was something that initially drew you to her.

[00:03:56] Opie says I guess I'm having trouble seeing clothing as a hobby.

[00:04:00] I play video games as a hobby,

[00:04:01] but that doesn't cause strangers to take pictures of me when I'm trying to shop for the supermarket.

[00:04:07] I get your point that initially drew me to her because it did that's fair.

[00:04:11] I guess I didn't think that it would be such a constant thing in her life,

[00:04:15] especially after she graduated another commenter says so you love her just the way she is

[00:04:21] but you're assuming she'll take that to mean she should change how she is.

[00:04:25] That doesn't make sense.

[00:04:26] This is how she is.

[00:04:28] She enjoys dressing up like this shit.

[00:04:31] She posts outfit photos online because she enjoys it so much other people encourage her

[00:04:36] because they do like how she is if you don't like the attention ask her sometime to just go out

[00:04:41] with you or she's wearing a casual outfit,

[00:04:43] but keep in mind that she really loves what she's normally wearing.

[00:04:48] Opie says this is my problem.

[00:04:50] How do I ask her to dress more casually around me without her misinterpreting

[00:04:53] what I mean again and also not hurting her feelings.

[00:04:57] I can think of ways to say one half of that but doesn't work with the other half

[00:05:02] and a commenter says if you love her the way she is why do you want her to change?

[00:05:07] Just curious Opie says she doesn't need all the frilly stuff.

[00:05:11] She'd still look like a princess and it's one thing for an artsy college student to dress alternatively,

[00:05:16] but she's a 23 year old woman now.

[00:05:19] I feel like her clothing masks how smart she is and makes her appear shallow.

[00:05:25] Then someone says to Opie is it for attention?

[00:05:27] Opie says I do think it's an attention thing.

[00:05:30] She says she doesn't care about what people think about her,

[00:05:33] but she spends so much time on her blog replying to comments and such.

[00:05:37] I kind of doubt it.

[00:05:39] She also has told me that she loves being approached by little girls while she's dressed up

[00:05:43] which definitely makes me thinks it's about attention.

[00:05:46] She doesn't dress inappropriately by those standards.

[00:05:49] She is well groomed and doesn't show much skin.

[00:05:51] Is it appropriate to wear lacy dresses and flower crowns to the supermarket?

[00:05:56] Again, it attracts unnecessary attention.

[00:05:59] Opie comes in with her first update and says I didn't plan on updating but things changed.

[00:06:04] I realized from my last post that I needed to be more supportive

[00:06:07] but also communicate on how she could dress down on certain occasions

[00:06:11] so we could both be comfortable.

[00:06:13] Well, I never got a chance to talk to her about it.

[00:06:16] Last week she called and wanted to stop by my apartment after work.

[00:06:21] When she got there I offered to make dinner.

[00:06:23] She said she couldn't stay and we had a talk.

[00:06:26] I jokingly asked if she was breaking up with me and she looked really guilty.

[00:06:30] You can see where this is going.

[00:06:32] We talked about how we're in different places in life and had different goals for the future.

[00:06:37] Well, she talked but I agreed.

[00:06:40] It was a pretty amicable breakup.

[00:06:42] Even though I felt blindsided, we agreed to stay friends.

[00:06:46] I've never been dumped before and it's fucking awful.

[00:06:49] I'm having trouble with the whole social media thing post breakup.

[00:06:53] I want a way to keep in touch with her but as soon as her relationship status changed

[00:06:57] all these alternative looking guys have been liking her posts and comments on her pictures.

[00:07:02] I don't think she's seeing these guys but it still hurts.

[00:07:05] My friend wants to set me up on a date but I don't know if it's a good idea.

[00:07:11] Couple of the top comments said

[00:07:12] Tickle is the head that wears the flowered lace crown.

[00:07:16] It was never going to work out anyway.

[00:07:18] We had some laughs and some good times.

[00:07:20] Enjoy that and move on.

[00:07:22] Opie says

[00:07:23] I understood some of her reasoning.

[00:07:25] Mainly I want to move out of the city once my lease is up and I wanted her to move in with me.

[00:07:30] I was worried about long distance.

[00:07:32] She didn't want to leave the city though.

[00:07:35] She said something about me being controlling too,

[00:07:37] but I don't think that's the case at all.

[00:07:39] Someone suggested blocking her.

[00:07:41] Opie said we agreed to stay friends.

[00:07:43] So I don't want to block her.

[00:07:46] Opie comes in with a second update and this update came nine years later

[00:07:52] and said I was going through an old email and found this account again.

[00:07:56] I was surprised I could still log in and even more by the amount of people who had reached out to me.

[00:08:02] It's a bit embarrassing to relive this breakup from almost 10 years ago.

[00:08:06] In retrospect, it wasn't meant to be.

[00:08:09] I think I was reeling more from getting dumped and the loss of the relationship.

[00:08:14] I'm 33 now and married to a wonderful woman 31 female for four years.

[00:08:19] I learned my lesson about supporting my significant other's hobbies.

[00:08:23] My wife loves running and baking.

[00:08:25] We have a daughter who is turning three this year.

[00:08:28] I want her to be free to express herself how she likes as long as it is safe,

[00:08:33] of course. I would do anything for them.

[00:08:35] I'm still friends with my ex on social media.

[00:08:38] We don't talk but we will like each other's posts.

[00:08:41] She's married to another woman now who also dresses differently.

[00:08:45] It's not as frilly as she used to dress but still unusual.

[00:08:49] Her pictures look like something out of Anne of Green Gables.

[00:08:53] She seems very happy on their farm together

[00:08:56] and the top comment on that one says,

[00:08:58] can we expect an update in 10 years when your daughter has become a teenager

[00:09:02] and developed Princess Syndrome? Also, congratulations on your life.

[00:09:06] Opie says well, she does love pink and purple.

[00:09:11] A lot of people mentioning that it sounds like cottagecore.

[00:09:15] Again, today's a learning day. I'm learning all sorts of new stuff here.

[00:09:18] I bloody love a learning day. Let me tell you but it says this is from Google by the way

[00:09:23] from a website called The Spruce.

[00:09:25] There's cottagecore is an aesthetic and design style that encourages adopting a simpler

[00:09:30] and more bucolic lifestyle. Its design characteristics include vintage

[00:09:34] and handcrafted items such as clothing, candles, furniture,

[00:09:38] and needlework. And I'll post a couple of pictures like right now of a couple examples.

[00:09:44] I just found on Google. Hopefully they are correct examples.

[00:09:47] I ain't got a clue. Like when we first come in

[00:09:51] and we're talking about Princess Syndrome, I was expecting like, you know,

[00:09:54] one of these massive like dresses. You see them walking around at Disney and stuff.

[00:09:58] Not this. This just seems like a fairly standard dress, I think.

[00:10:03] Now our next story apparently is a pretty famous one,

[00:10:06] but I haven't seen this one before. Let's get involved.

[00:10:08] It's called Avengers Assemble. An innocent woman's stuff so she can leave her ex.

[00:10:14] It starts off. I'm about to have a fun afternoon.

[00:10:17] So my trainer's boyfriend cheated on her. She broke up with him.

[00:10:22] He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him,

[00:10:25] which she refuses. She trains for free mind you. Three college linebackers,

[00:10:31] a college wrestler, two martial artists, a bodybuilder, and wait for it, a Navy SEAL.

[00:10:37] We're going to go get their shit for her. It should make for an interesting story.

[00:10:44] Many of us have those stubborn pounds that seem impossible to lose,

[00:10:48] no matter how good we eat or how hard we work out.

[00:10:51] My solution is Plush Care. Plush Care is a leading telehealth provider

[00:10:56] with doctors who are there for you day and night to partner with you in your weight loss journey.

[00:11:00] They can prescribe FDA-approved weight loss medications like Wagovi

[00:11:04] and Zeppound for those who qualify. Plus, they accept most insurance plans.

[00:11:09] To get started, visit plushcare.com slash weight loss.

[00:11:12] That's plushcare.com slash weight loss.

[00:11:14] Want to teach your kids financial literacy but not sure where to start? Greenlight can help.

[00:11:20] With Greenlight, parents can keep an eye on kids' spending and saving,

[00:11:24] while kids and teens use a card of their own to build money confidence.

[00:11:28] As a parent, you can send instant money transfers, set up chores, automate allowance, and more.

[00:11:33] It's a convenient way to run your household, customized to your family's needs,

[00:11:37] and the easy way to raise financially smart kids.

[00:11:41] Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash Acast.

[00:11:49] The next update. So everyone who commented on this being like the Avengers, you are absolutely right.

[00:11:56] That's what all of us had in our heads when we were rolling over to the dude's house,

[00:11:59] but I'm very proud to say this ended without violence.

[00:12:03] Arrival. So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebackers explorer

[00:12:08] and headed over to the dude's house.

[00:12:11] Okay, the squad. You all know me. The other martial artist is a little wary,

[00:12:15] Hapkido guy. The linebackers are all giants and estimate a combined weight of say 750 to 800 pounds.

[00:12:22] The wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla and the Navy SEAL looks like your average guy,

[00:12:28] but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling.

[00:12:33] Unfortunately, the bodybuilder had to work. Anyway,

[00:12:37] we sent the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first

[00:12:40] and dude answers, screams at them, then slams the door in their face.

[00:12:44] Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the doorbell again.

[00:12:48] Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access.

[00:12:52] Finally, me and the SEAL join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group,

[00:12:57] but the SEAL decides to climb the banister.

[00:13:01] We all just turned and stared at him completely shocked when the dude answered the door.

[00:13:05] He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals

[00:13:10] and one guy perched on his banister like Batman.

[00:13:14] He was like, fine, go, go take what you are looking for, the retrieval.

[00:13:20] So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things

[00:13:23] and putting them into two boxes. Mind you,

[00:13:26] we are completely guessing. We didn't even tell her we were coming.

[00:13:30] Therefore, we had no list of items.

[00:13:33] The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff.

[00:13:38] The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture,

[00:13:40] turning it over and putting it back down, just showing off how strong they were.

[00:13:45] In case the numbers game wasn't enough,

[00:13:47] I guess they were letting them know that they could break him if they wanted to.

[00:13:51] The SEAL was just shadowing dude in his own house, walking behind him,

[00:13:55] not saying much, just being creepy.

[00:13:58] Then there's me, who was causing general mischief.

[00:14:02] He said to take what I was looking for.

[00:14:04] That's what I was looking for. And the wrestler made a freaking sandwich

[00:14:10] because you guys looked like you have it under control

[00:14:13] and I'm a sucker for an egg salad. We were in and out in 15 minutes.

[00:14:18] Delivery. So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl spot.

[00:14:23] She was conveniently outside when we rolled up.

[00:14:25] We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other?

[00:14:29] The truth is, we don't. She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all.

[00:14:34] She vented to us all about dude holding onto her stuff

[00:14:37] and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to CRX.

[00:14:42] Oh my God. What did you say to him? Nothing.

[00:14:46] We're not messenger boys. We're delivery boys.

[00:14:49] And we gave her a boxes of stuff.

[00:14:51] She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff.

[00:14:55] Then she got to my box and asked what the fuck is all this shit?

[00:14:59] So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls,

[00:15:03] his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet,

[00:15:06] every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes

[00:15:10] and all the toilet paper in the house.

[00:15:12] The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed.

[00:15:16] She then unexpectedly started crying and thanked us.

[00:15:20] So you have this group of meatheads all standing awkwardly with this weeper trainer.

[00:15:24] It was quiet for a second when the CEO was like,

[00:15:27] so I'm not going to say correctly this time Chipotle Chipotle Chipotle

[00:15:33] and we all got burrito bowls.

[00:15:35] What a great day. Top comments on this one says he took all the batteries,

[00:15:40] dress socks, toilet paper, the laces from his shoes in his deodorant.

[00:15:44] Lol, who does that? Seriously, I need to find me some friends like that.

[00:15:49] That way once I start dating if he ever decides to break my heart,

[00:15:53] which he better not, I'll know I'll be taken care of in the most hysterical way possible.

[00:15:58] Well funny for me at least lol. Please tell me this story is true.

[00:16:03] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:16:06] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:16:10] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:16:13] Let's move on to another story with an update which comes from a throwaway account and says

[00:16:19] I26female realized I have a crush on my roommate 24female.

[00:16:25] We've been living together for more than two years now.

[00:16:29] My ex-boyfriend 26male and I had been high school sweethearts,

[00:16:32] but we were long distance relationship after I moved for work.

[00:16:36] He confessed that he had started a relationship with another girl

[00:16:39] and he dumped me in the middle of the pandemic.

[00:16:42] I was a mess. My panic attacks started to happen way more frequently.

[00:16:46] I was barely functioning. I just worked, cried and slept for two whole weeks.

[00:16:52] She is amazing. She took care of everything around the house.

[00:16:56] She made me cake. Keep it right there.

[00:16:59] She helped me through my panic attacks, even though it absolutely destroyed her sleep patterns.

[00:17:04] I'm doing better now, but I can't bring myself to look at her.

[00:17:08] I've thanked her a lot, but that is not enough.

[00:17:11] I'm doing much better, more pills now,

[00:17:13] but I feel incredibly embarrassed. How can I spend time with someone like her?

[00:17:18] She's so self-assured, kind, assertive and brilliant.

[00:17:21] She is a gorgeous, amazing woman. I feel so self-conscious just sitting next to her.

[00:17:27] There is a pit in my stomach whenever we talk now.

[00:17:30] I don't want to bother her anymore.

[00:17:32] How can she look at me and not feel a bit of contempt?

[00:17:35] I don't know if she likes me anymore.

[00:17:38] I know that she is hurt by this, but we used to spend a lot of time together.

[00:17:42] Now I make excuses. I feel horrible.

[00:17:45] How do I deal with and communicate with her that I'm grateful for her help

[00:17:48] and trying to deal with my feelings of what happened, putting pressure on her to help me?

[00:17:52] The gamer Viking says, seems like you need to return the favor.

[00:17:56] Give her a gift or take her somewhere. Do something nice for her.

[00:18:00] Opie says, I've done this. I bought a pair of shoes she really wanted.

[00:18:05] It made her happy. That was one of the better days I had this year.

[00:18:09] It is. I just feel really awkward hanging out with her.

[00:18:13] So we're going to go straight to the update,

[00:18:14] which says my roommate has been an angel while I was a barely functioning adult due to my breakup with my boyfriend.

[00:18:22] She took care of me and helped me deal with my panic attacks.

[00:18:25] I felt really embarrassed to just hang out with her.

[00:18:27] I was incredibly nervous, but I posted about this and people gave me some great suggestions.

[00:18:33] One of the suggestions was to take her out to the park for a walk.

[00:18:37] She loves the park. Both of us were done with work earlier yesterday.

[00:18:41] We went to the park together. We just talked and hung out.

[00:18:44] I felt a lot of embarrassment about exposing my worst vulnerable moments to her.

[00:18:50] I really love our company and I've missed this. Just hanging out with her.

[00:18:55] She bought me flowers as a joke and my heart skipped out of my chest.

[00:18:59] That was a really weird reaction. And while we were eating tacos

[00:19:03] and she was joking about her job. I realized this kind of felt like a date

[00:19:08] and this was the best date ever. And almost an overwhelming urge to kiss her.

[00:19:13] We got back to our apartment and I just shut myself into my room

[00:19:16] and try to understand all these feelings.

[00:19:19] I've never felt this way about a girl. I'm scared.

[00:19:23] I don't know what to do here. Should I just ignore these feelings?

[00:19:27] We still have a long lease left and I don't want her to be creeped out by me.

[00:19:31] Some part is telling me to shut up. It would just weird her out.

[00:19:35] Or become the funny story she tells people. Her roommate who she helped out of kindness

[00:19:40] or pity then creeped her out and wanted to be in a relationship.

[00:19:44] I don't know. I'm scared about ruining our friendship too.

[00:19:48] Three months later Opie comes in with another update and says,

[00:19:52] my post didn't get a lot of attention,

[00:19:54] but some people did provide me with really good feedback

[00:19:57] and this is a happy update.

[00:19:59] I decided to keep my feelings to myself and understand if it was just my gratitude

[00:20:04] and learn about myself in that time. I read a few books

[00:20:07] and I did some introspection. I've always liked girls.

[00:20:11] In hindsight, it is pretty obvious why I hate to see my best friend with her boyfriend.

[00:20:16] I brush those feelings aside as jealousy for how good their relationship was.

[00:20:20] Teenage me was pretty dumb.

[00:20:22] I also realized that my roommate was probably asexual.

[00:20:25] I have known her for a long time and she's not dated one single person.

[00:20:29] Never brought a person home. It made me feel hopeless about my feelings for her.

[00:20:34] I came out to her about a month ago.

[00:20:36] I'd left one of my books lying around and she handed it back to me.

[00:20:39] I made a bad joke. I ended up explaining that I think I'm bi.

[00:20:43] It was pretty awkward. She told me she was into girls,

[00:20:46] but she thinks she is demisexual

[00:20:48] and it takes her a lot to form the emotional bond needed to be ready to have sex.

[00:20:53] I probably made a mess of the conversation.

[00:20:56] I thought there was no way she would form such a bond with me.

[00:21:00] She ended up asking me out while we were cooking dinner last week.

[00:21:03] I was pretty surprised honestly.

[00:21:05] It is scary and a bit awkward moving from being roommates to girlfriends.

[00:21:09] Scary as hell, but even with the uncertainty about if we could work,

[00:21:14] I feel incredibly comfortable around her.

[00:21:16] I can be myself and I know she won't judge me.

[00:21:19] She loves it.

[00:21:20] And there were multiple comments below that one saying,

[00:21:22] Oh my God, they were roommates.

[00:21:25] I'm not sure what that means. I'm going to need to educate myself.

[00:21:27] I imagine it's some kind of meme or Friends episode or something like that.

[00:21:32] What a lovely little story to finish with.

[00:21:34] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:21:38] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:41] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:21:44] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:48] So thank you so so much for being involved

[00:21:50] and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:53] Take care and much love.

[00:22:27] Now imagine them getting even softer over time.

[00:22:30] That's what you'll feel with Bolin Branches organic cotton sheets.

[00:22:34] In a recent customer survey, 96% replied that Bolin Branch sheets get softer with every wash.

[00:22:41] Start getting your best night's sleep in these sheets that get softer and softer for years to come.

[00:22:47] Try their sheets with a 30-night guarantee.

[00:22:49] Plus get 15% off your first order at BolinBranch.com

[00:22:53] Code BUTTERY. Exclusions apply.

[00:22:56] See site for details.