I'm Refusing To Get My Daughter With Severe Anxiety A Service Dog Due To Her Actions r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider? Hit that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from CharacterGuess4227 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit and says,

[00:00:27] AmITheArseholeHere for refusing to get my daughter with severe social anxiety a service dog and forcing her to get a part time job after what she did.

[00:00:37] And before we do get into the story I do want to give you a warning in case you want to skip it. You know where those timestamps are. It includes talk about abuse of a pet that resulted in injury.

[00:00:48] Now we're getting started. Throwaway account. Don't want the whole family up in my business for this just yet.

[00:00:54] Alright, the title is long-winded I know, but hear me out. My 45 female daughter, 15 female, suffers from severe social anxiety. It is incredibly crippling and has prevented her from many extracurriculars and even her education over the years.

[00:01:11] I left my job 5 years ago to start homeschooling her and have since put her in therapy. The therapist and I have been working on getting her into school more and more for the past year and a half.

[00:01:21] This is all to say, I'm not trying to shame my daughter for her social anxiety at all. It is a debilitating thing to live with and I can see that first hand.

[00:01:30] Last month the therapist recommended getting a service dog for my daughter in order to be able to help her navigate public settings better.

[00:01:37] Despite thinking this was a huge responsibility, I had to see the excitement on my daughter's face. She really wanted a dog and seemed determined to continue her progress with the help of an animal.

[00:01:49] I was initially on board with this and started the necessary research required.

[00:01:54] However, a few weeks ago I left my daughter with my sister-in-law for a few days because my mother was sick and I needed to visit her for a few hours away and my husband was on a work trip.

[00:02:04] The plan was for my sister-in-law to continue her homeschooling for as many hours as she could manage, but instead I got a call from her two days in demanding I take my daughter back home.

[00:02:14] I came to find that my sister-in-law had to leave the house for a few hours and asked my daughter to take care of her senior dog.

[00:02:20] This dog is very old and small. She was adopted just over a year ago so she's still a bit wary of people.

[00:02:27] My daughter, in an attempt to recreate some stupid online video, took the senior dog to the roof of the house and left her there.

[00:02:35] The poor thing was so scared she shit herself on the roof, shaking while my daughter filmed.

[00:02:41] Of course, this didn't go to plan and the dog ended up falling off the roof and into the swimming pool out of sheer luck.

[00:02:48] However, due to her age and the size of the dog ended up breaking a few ribs and hurt poor.

[00:02:53] When I heard this, I was absolutely livid.

[00:02:56] I confronted my daughter immediately and she admitted to wanting to create a video she saw online.

[00:03:01] She then proceeded to use a defense that went along the lines of,

[00:03:05] That dog is old. If it were younger, then nothing would have happened.

[00:03:09] She also mentioned how she didn't really think what she did was that bad because it's an unloved shelter dog with no real value.

[00:03:16] Like a service dog or newborn puppy.

[00:03:19] I was very upset to hear these words coming out of my daughter's mouth.

[00:03:23] I have no idea where she learned this from considering neither me or my husband share these beliefs.

[00:03:30] I instantly told my daughter that she'd not be getting a service dog.

[00:03:33] I also told her that she would have to pay her aunt's vet bills no matter what it took.

[00:03:38] Because the bill is in the thousands.

[00:03:40] She would have to find a way to make that money.

[00:03:43] My daughter got upset and said I was being unfair because she can't get a job due to her social anxiety.

[00:03:48] But I told her that she should have thought about that before doing what she did.

[00:03:52] My daughter has since then been attempting to search for a part-time job that requires minimal face-to-face interaction.

[00:03:59] Despite me and my husband helping her, she was only able to find a waitress job.

[00:04:03] I asked my sister-in-law if she was okay with my daughter working the vet bill off instead.

[00:04:08] But she refused saying she really has no interest in having my daughter anywhere near her house or dog again.

[00:04:14] And I honestly thought that was fair enough.

[00:04:15] So I told my daughter she had to find a way to stick with this.

[00:04:20] Because that vet bill was her responsibility only.

[00:04:23] My husband told me I might be an asshole for suggesting our daughter pay off the entire bill.

[00:04:28] And that we should probably just restrict her pocket money until the bill is paid off.

[00:04:32] I think that's not a good enough punishment.

[00:04:34] Because her pocket money isn't earned.

[00:04:36] It's what me and my husband give her for free time at the start of the week.

[00:04:40] Also this bill is entirely her fault and therefore her responsibility.

[00:04:43] It's unfortunate that the only jobs available are in customer service.

[00:04:47] But what else can we do?

[00:04:49] My daughter's therapist also reached out saying she thinks it's wrong of me to completely take the service dog idea off the table.

[00:04:56] Considering it's a medical necessity.

[00:04:58] As well as pointing out that suddenly forcing my daughter into an unfamiliar job may be a bit too daunting.

[00:05:04] Are my husband and my daughter's therapist right?

[00:05:07] Am I being too harsh on my daughter?

[00:05:09] Am I the asshole here?

[00:05:13] Gee whiz.

[00:05:15] Now absolutely not the asshole at all.

[00:05:18] Um, with the words that came out of her mouth saying that an unloved shelter dog with no real value like a service dog or newborn poppy.

[00:05:27] I wouldn't put any animal near her at this moment in time.

[00:05:31] And yes, it is her responsibility to pay that bill off.

[00:05:34] And she clearly needs some other kind of professional help at the same time as well.

[00:05:40] Rather than enabling her behavior because it doesn't feel like that's going to get any better.

[00:05:45] And with that kind of attitude, it's quite scary.

[00:05:47] And me saying getting her help, I don't mean to like excuse any of her, any of the current behavior or what's happened.

[00:05:54] Because absolutely not.

[00:05:56] But I also had another thought which another comment says.

[00:05:59] Pearls is says, despite what the therapist says, I'm not sure that a legitimate service animal organization would approve an animal for your daughter.

[00:06:07] And I think that's absolutely, well, I would hope that was absolutely true at the same time as well.

[00:06:13] Simple Carpet says, kid has stayed home for five years with no social interaction with her peers other than stupid TikTok content.

[00:06:21] Time to take the phone, sign the kid up for a league or art class or something.

[00:06:26] The therapist is taking in the dough and encouraging this.

[00:06:29] I swear some kids need good old immigrant parents like mine.

[00:06:34] Another commenter says, as someone that's always had trouble making friends, my dogs were absolutely treasured.

[00:06:40] You mean there's this creature that will hang out with me with no expectations and it just needs to be fed and use the bathroom.

[00:06:46] But OP's kid is like, ha, let me terrify it for the likes.

[00:06:50] There is something so wrong and off about that.

[00:06:53] A 15 year old should know better.

[00:06:55] Isn't a five year old who maybe doesn't understand that being on a roof is dangerous?

[00:07:00] Tinia says, ah, but that's the thing she said.

[00:07:04] It doesn't matter because it was an unwanted shelter dog with no real value like a service dog or newborn puppy.

[00:07:10] It does show that she thinks about the value of things and what it will do for her.

[00:07:14] And instead of just being happy to have a creature that just exists to exist.

[00:07:19] Cause that's the other sociopathic behavior she showed as well.

[00:07:22] It sounds like her one thought with the dog was, how can I use this thing to benefit me?

[00:07:27] Which resulted in the dog on the roof.

[00:07:30] My oldest is 14 with low impulse control.

[00:07:33] And while he may do some dumb things, I don't have to worry about him putting other people in danger.

[00:07:38] Like if I have to run errands, I can trust that he can watch his much younger siblings and everyone will be okay and alive within reason.

[00:07:46] And not on the flipping roof.

[00:07:49] So OP came in with an update and said, okay, first off, I would like to say that although I was warned Reddit was absolutely brutal.

[00:07:56] You guys did not hold back.

[00:07:58] Shout out to the person who DM me to tell me to kill myself and my family.

[00:08:02] Oh, dearie me.

[00:08:04] What is?

[00:08:04] Yeah, I would like everyone to know that I read almost every single comment, even if I didn't reply to all of them.

[00:08:11] Also to clarify, when I said a service animal, I was told that we'd be able to get one to alert my daughter of panic attacks and help calm her down.

[00:08:21] However, after now speaking to other resources, we were explained that what the therapist was talking about was an ESA, which I assume is emotional support animal.

[00:08:30] Apologies for any confusion.

[00:08:31] This is new to me.

[00:08:32] And yes, we live in America.

[00:08:35] Psychologists can prescribe simple anxiety meds.

[00:08:37] And also, yes, I obviously took away my daughter's phone and laptop after this.

[00:08:42] She's only allowed what she needs to complete her studies.

[00:08:45] Onto the update.

[00:08:46] There was also a lot of helpful advice and support.

[00:08:48] So I do feel like I owe you guys an update.

[00:08:51] Me and my husband have been fighting for weeks now on how to handle this.

[00:08:56] We did end up taking her to a psychiatrist and she was diagnosed with severe social anxiety as before and also bipolar.

[00:09:04] We were told that the reason she wasn't diagnosed earlier is because she was far too young.

[00:09:08] And this is something that most likely only became visible recently as she just hit puberty.

[00:09:13] So no, my daughter is not a sociopath.

[00:09:16] Sorry to disappoint.

[00:09:17] And yes, we were told to continue homeschooling as it is too late to put her in a school where everyone has already developed their own friendship groups, etc, etc.

[00:09:25] I once again had to leave to care for my sick mother, which left my daughter with my husband.

[00:09:30] Apparently, while I was gone, my husband thought it was a genius idea to turn up to sister-in-law's house and ask for my daughter to see the dog under supervision.

[00:09:38] My sister-in-law didn't agree but was coerced by my husband.

[00:09:41] This is what I'm assuming because despite what my husband says, I don't believe she would have been on board with this.

[00:09:48] My daughter started crying and apologizing claiming she felt so sad seeing the broken senior pup too scared to come close to her.

[00:09:55] My husband has since decided that in light of this, my daughter deserves her emotional support animal.

[00:10:00] I completely disagree with this stance and believe that she needs more support, therapy and a large range of resources, not limited to an animal.

[00:10:09] Even if my daughter is genuinely sorry, this isn't a mistake that can be easily forgiven in a month.

[00:10:15] I think we should be pushing her to continue a part-time job, something she's been beginning to do.

[00:10:21] She's been sent home from a restaurant a few times already for panic attacks and has even complained to vomiting during her breaks.

[00:10:27] I told her she's welcome to search for other jobs she might find easier, which she has started to do.

[00:10:33] Although it's been almost three weeks of working and I've asked her to do this a minimum of two months before quitting and find something else.

[00:10:40] She's also not allowed to quit unless she comes to me with a different plan to pay the money back.

[00:10:45] My husband told me he started the application process for an ESA.

[00:10:49] I was very angry and asked him to stop but he argued that he thinks he should take over her care from now on and quit his job while I worked instead.

[00:10:57] I disagree because I'm the one who's been handling it for six years but apparently I don't truly understand just how sorry she is now.

[00:11:05] In light of this, I contacted my sister-in-law and told her that I think it would be best she file a police report.

[00:11:11] I do want this on record because as many of you said, they won't give my daughter an animal if they find out about this.

[00:11:17] She agreed and did file a report, which was totally heartbreaking for me.

[00:11:21] It really hurts to have to do something like this to my daughter.

[00:11:24] My husband did find out and we've now been arguing for days.

[00:11:28] He's incredibly angry but I'm attempting to stick with this.

[00:11:32] I'm not sure how the next few weeks will pan out but I will say that I'm incredibly worried for the future.

[00:11:37] I have no idea what to do or how to get my husband to see my side.

[00:11:41] This is very concerning but thank you for listening Reddit.

[00:11:44] And for those of you who gave advice and support, I really, really appreciate it.

[00:11:50] Ugh, dearie, dearie me.

[00:11:52] I think the dad's enabling in this situation is going to do more harm than good.

[00:11:57] And I feel like you're just being left with very little options but to do what you're doing in this.

[00:12:03] But Common Fucking Sense says,

[00:12:06] This is a hill I would die on.

[00:12:08] That girl does not deserve a dog and you did the right thing telling sister-in-law to file that report.

[00:12:13] I know that's hard for you but it was in fact the correct thing.

[00:12:16] Your husband is being a Disney dad and in the long run that's not going to help your daughter at all.

[00:12:21] Hopefully real life consequences will show her how wrong exactly what she did is.

[00:12:26] Janet in Spain says your husband is an idiot.

[00:12:29] Her being sorry is not enough to make up for what she did and is no proof that she'd be trusted around another animal.

[00:12:36] Especially with a bipolar diagnosis.

[00:12:39] Good on you for pushing for a police report.

[00:12:41] This protects everyone including any dog that might be subjected to your daughter.

[00:12:47] Tell your husband to stop with the daddy's girl dad mentality and look at this logically.

[00:12:53] She is not ready for a dog of her own.

[00:12:56] That would be completely inappropriate and illogical at this time.

[00:12:59] What did the psychiatrist say about an ESA?

[00:13:02] Maybe he slash she should talk to your husband.

[00:13:05] Who will say that you need to pay your sister-in-law back.

[00:13:08] You're still punishing her.

[00:13:09] Your daughter can pay you back so your sister-in-law doesn't have to wait forever.

[00:13:14] Yeah and I did think about that in the initial part of the post as well.

[00:13:17] You know just paying the sister-in-law up front.

[00:13:19] I assume that's what they was going to kind of do anyway.

[00:13:22] Because otherwise I don't think that's really fair on the sister-in-law.

[00:13:25] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:29] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:13:32] And let's move on to another story.

[00:13:34] Now our next story comes from my 1972 pony from the am I the arsehole subreddit.

[00:13:41] And says am I the arsehole for using money we earmarked across six month old college fund.

[00:13:47] To buy back the exact 1972 Ford Bronco I owned as a teenager.

[00:13:52] So how to begin with this?

[00:13:54] I realize that on paper I am totally the arsehole.

[00:13:57] But when you dig deeper into my motivations.

[00:14:00] I'm hoping it's more of a grey area than anything else.

[00:14:03] And maybe even I did the right thing.

[00:14:05] When I was a teenager my dad bought me a classic 1972 Ford Bronco.

[00:14:11] It was my true passion.

[00:14:12] And I didn't recall a memory from high school that somehow doesn't involve that truck.

[00:14:17] Plus my dad and I would spend hours and hours working on it together.

[00:14:20] And we went through that especially father slash son rough patch when I was a teenager.

[00:14:25] It was always that Bronco that brought us back together.

[00:14:28] I made a huge mistake and sold the truck when I turned 19.

[00:14:32] And my dad died of a heart attack two months later.

[00:14:35] So while not logical.

[00:14:37] I've always felt a karmic connection between the two events.

[00:14:40] We had a baby in early February.

[00:14:43] She is our first and the light of my life.

[00:14:46] My wife is doing well but she's back at work.

[00:14:48] And she realized that she hates all the daycares we've tried.

[00:14:51] And really wants to be a stay at home mom.

[00:14:54] And plus she's still very hormonal from delivery.

[00:14:56] Lack of sleep and breastfeeding.

[00:14:58] So she's having a rough time and is angry a lot.

[00:15:01] I guess I need to say this.

[00:15:03] Two weeks ago I was driving through our town's warehouse district.

[00:15:07] And saw a Bronco that was pretty beat up but resembled mine.

[00:15:10] I stopped just for nostalgia's sake.

[00:15:13] And the owner came out and let me take a look inside.

[00:15:15] My dad and I had glued a weak penny under the dash.

[00:15:18] As sort of security measure.

[00:15:20] So I just sort of checked and god damn.

[00:15:22] If it wasn't my Bronco.

[00:15:25] I asked him if he'd ever considered selling it.

[00:15:27] He said actually someone was on I-25.

[00:15:30] As we spoke from Colorado to buy it for $21,000.

[00:15:34] I freaked out and asked him if I could buy it right then and there for $23,000.

[00:15:38] He said if I could come up with the cash.

[00:15:40] Yes.

[00:15:41] I'd been procrastinating setting up a 529.

[00:15:44] So I had $12,000 in savings.

[00:15:47] That my wife's parents had given us.

[00:15:49] I maxed out my credit card to Venmo.

[00:15:51] And my mom bought down a check for $4,000.

[00:15:54] And I fucking drove away in my old car.

[00:15:57] It was like a dream come true.

[00:15:59] Like a literal dream come true.

[00:16:01] It needs a lot of work.

[00:16:03] I can't afford right now.

[00:16:04] But it's mine.

[00:16:05] Like in my driveway mine.

[00:16:06] Again, I can't even describe what a joy this is.

[00:16:09] My wife and her parents are furious with me.

[00:16:12] They feel I was deceptive.

[00:16:14] That a real man would have sacrificed anything and everything.

[00:16:17] So my wife could go stay at home with his kids.

[00:16:19] And that setting aside that they gave us the money for a college fund.

[00:16:23] My point is my daughter is only six months old.

[00:16:26] We have 18 years to set up a college fund for her.

[00:16:29] But this Bronco means everything to me.

[00:16:31] And if I wouldn't have acted, it would have been gone forever.

[00:16:34] That can be that same connection between me and my kids.

[00:16:37] To me, it's the literal meaning of happiness.

[00:16:40] Like I said on paper.

[00:16:42] Arsehole.

[00:16:43] Whole story.

[00:16:43] Gray area.

[00:16:44] How do you guys see it?

[00:16:46] And look, there's just no gray area in this story.

[00:16:50] That you use your kid's college money.

[00:16:52] 12,000 of that your wife's parents had given to you.

[00:16:56] You maxed out your credit card.

[00:16:58] You borrowed from your mom at the same time.

[00:17:00] And you made all of these decisions without talking to your wife about it.

[00:17:05] Of course, you're going to be the asshole in this situation.

[00:17:07] Holy moly.

[00:17:09] OP made some edits on the post and said,

[00:17:11] I had no idea this would go so one way.

[00:17:13] I guess I messed up.

[00:17:15] I talked with my mom and she's basically going to buy the Bronco from me in order to refill the college fund and pay off the credit card.

[00:17:22] The 4K will be a gift and she's going to give me whatever I need to restore it.

[00:17:26] She's always been awesome to me and she'd rather the money be spent now than wait for me and my sister's inheritance.

[00:17:33] What?

[00:17:34] Sorry to get everyone so mad at me.

[00:17:36] I was thinking with my emotions and acted badly.

[00:17:39] Edit 2.

[00:17:40] Are the mummy bailed you out comments really necessary?

[00:17:43] I found a solution and it's coming from me and my sister's inheritance.

[00:17:47] So it's not like I'm paying for it on my own eventually.

[00:17:50] Edit 3.

[00:17:51] My inbox is so buried I have no idea who those icons are that where gold used to be.

[00:17:57] Does anyone know what those are?

[00:17:59] Edit 4.

[00:18:00] I'm getting a 403 error when I try to respond.

[00:18:02] Not sure what that means but I'm still reading because honestly I'm afraid to go home.

[00:18:06] Even with the great news I know my wife is going to be upset for one reason or another.

[00:18:11] Edit 5.

[00:18:11] Does anyone know what the 403 error means?

[00:18:14] I messaged the moderators but they must be busy.

[00:18:17] Since you're a mod do you know.

[00:18:18] I can't respond to any posts and get the status 403 whenever I try.

[00:18:23] Thanks.

[00:18:24] And another edit the following morning says,

[00:18:26] I couldn't figure out why I was getting so many privates but I guess this must be locked now.

[00:18:30] I didn't tell my wife that my mum bailed me out and lied and said I found a buyer for the Bronco.

[00:18:36] I'll figure out how to cross that bridge when I get there but my wife was so relieved that I had come to your senses.

[00:18:42] I don't want to disappoint her.

[00:18:44] It's going to take all my lying skills to pull this one off over the next few years.

[00:18:49] Oh dear.

[00:18:51] On the back of this one Snossage Fest says,

[00:18:54] Jesus dude yes you're the arsehole.

[00:18:55] Who spends 23k without so much as speaking to their spouse first?

[00:19:00] Arseholes do.

[00:19:02] Madison Preggers says,

[00:19:04] Wow.

[00:19:04] Have an almost 7 month old and your post literally ruined my day.

[00:19:08] You're the arsehole for this line alone.

[00:19:10] And quotes,

[00:19:11] She's still very hormonal from delivery, lack of sleep and breastfeeding.

[00:19:14] So she's having a rough time and is angry a lot.

[00:19:17] And then says,

[00:19:17] Really?

[00:19:18] She's not angry because her husband is the type of person who blew a fucking college fund on a junked out car.

[00:19:24] Wow.

[00:19:25] This one really affected me.

[00:19:27] I'm going to leave this and try not to check back in because I'm heartbroken for your wife and daughter.

[00:19:33] Lizard Justice says,

[00:19:34] You're the arsehole.

[00:19:35] The backstory doesn't make you any less of an arsehole.

[00:19:37] It just explains why you acted like an arsehole.

[00:19:40] And one more from Beef1020 who says,

[00:19:44] I think the backstory makes him more of an arsehole.

[00:19:47] It just felt like it got worse in the edits didn't it?

[00:19:49] I mean,

[00:19:50] So he used 12,000 of savings that the wife's parents had given them,

[00:19:54] Maxed out their credit card,

[00:19:56] The mum lent them 4,000,

[00:19:58] And now they're using the inheritance,

[00:20:00] Half of which is the sisters as well.

[00:20:02] Oh, my wordy word.

[00:20:05] Ugh.

[00:20:06] I don't know what to say.

[00:20:09] Anyway,

[00:20:10] Now,

[00:20:10] I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:12] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:15] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:20:19] Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:20:23] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:26] So thank you so, so much.

[00:20:28] And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:30] Take care.

[00:20:31] And much love.

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