I'm Losing Sympathy For My TRAUMATISED Husband r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's all going on? I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

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[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Much love guys now today's first story comes from alarming ad for 419 and says would I be the asshole for losing empathy for my traumatized husband

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I 24 female and my husband 28 male have been together for 4 years and I'm starting to doubt the marriage

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I have been married for 2 years in June

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_00]: We've had a long history of fights in disrespect from both sides

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Here is our most recent problem

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: About two months ago my husband had come home from work and I started complaining about I can't work full-time and take care of everything else

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I work as a nurse

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Branted from home

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also responsible for most of the chores

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband is supposed to take the garbage out clean dog poop and brush dogs a few times a week

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00]: He does garbage a couple of times a week in dog poop once a week of bath

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I take care of dinner, groceries, laundry, animals, six of them and I'm the primary caregiver to his daughter when she is with us

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: We gone, we cough

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband has his own company which we started together

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, I was complaining and he was tired of it and he kicked me out of our house

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I was shocked, he didn't even seem to escalate like that

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: He called it his house

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Days go by and I end up coming home

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband stated we both needed therapy individually so we can heal from our past traumas

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I agreed and have done therapy before

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I made an appointment a few days later for myself

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: About six days later we got into a fight because he was mad about my car being dirty

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: We just had our two GSD in there again

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: A Google that says German shepherds

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I have the main transport for a seven-year-old daughter as I take her to and from school

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was ridiculous and we got into a fight where I was sobbing and he was reconsidering the relationship

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And most left that day too

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Read a four weeks after that another fight about intimacy

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been struggling with libido and we agreed to three times a week

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Which I have been doing

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He tried telling me I was not fulfilling this promise the white was

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I said it's a waste of my fucking time then

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Who's a Paul I said this and hung up on me

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: He wanted to talk about it a few days later and I told him

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you're mad and I'm not in the right head space

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00]: He said too bad and proceeded to tell me I ruined sex for him

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And he can never have it again with me

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: End up taking accountability for what I said in a pologeise

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't do the same until much later

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I then told him I was going to leave if he didn't go to therapy

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been going for at least a month at this point

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Typically, I wouldn't use an ultimatum but about a year ago he gave me one

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I was in the worst mental space I'd been engranted with an unfair and snappy in mean to my husband

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: We got enough fight and he yelled at me while I was crying and said if I didn't get help he would leave

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I got help that day

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Well a month later and he had not got an therapy

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And then said I was trying to play victim and manipulate him

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry left

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I came back after three days

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I agreed to marriage counseling

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I made the appointment

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Before every day since I've been home

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Things don't feel right

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Would I be the asshole if I left again

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: So my girl says he's using you

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Wake up

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Need to housekeeper babysitter

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: That care person and a bed buddy

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: She's cheap to have you as his wife than high people to do what you do

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Leave and file for divorce you deserve better

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Current anybody says not the asshole leave

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He's hot and cold and subject you to whatever moods he's in

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Sex thing is weird to me that's a promise three times a week or what no deserve for you

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And I use somehow ruined sex famer and he can't have it with you again

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00]: As a specialist and sounds like he's seeing someone else

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: He's mad about your car being dirty. He's picking a fight

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Get out now before you have kids with him

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Consider it a lesson learned and move on

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says he said he needed it three times a week to feel loved

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I agreed

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought the sex thing was such too

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Especially because the estroomer with cheating and there's always accusing me of cheating

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: His Instagrams floor page is full of half nude models

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: He said he clicked on something once and now it's on that

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, deary me. Are we going down that projection route?

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: This is says sweety please don't take this the wrong way but neither one of y'all are ready for all this

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: He's showing you a lot of red flags already

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't want to chip in his share of the labor he's using you as a free set of friends kid in the three times a week sex obligation

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Just no when people show you who they are believe them you are young

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: There's no need to waste any more time on a dead end

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Not the asshole you can't keep up this pace without eventually being bitter and broke down

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You should bounce

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Any put says not the asshole pick everything is important to you and that you want and leave

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want the animals take the animals and take whatever you want but again you leave

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I've a feeling he's only using you to take care of his daughter and you guys have most of your fights in his kick you out

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, she there or not

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Who be says thankfully she was not there when he kicked me out

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: She hasn't been here for most of the fights

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope he added another post two months later and says hi Reddit my husband 28 male and i24 female

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been together for four years since the star tears been insecure about cheating

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: It was viciously cheated on in his previous relationship and blames it on that

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I've never cheated on him nor has he ever found anything to even a stume was cheating

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Those to be empathetic towards his insecurities says I've been cheated on too

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Or ever for the past two years I've been losing said empathy

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: After pulling my phone records and going through all my contacts last summer

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Going to therapy for a month or two and his episodes of accusing me have decreased but not stopped

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been in therapy since January

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: He is the one who brought up going to individual therapy for both of us

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: However, as yet to get back into therapy continues to accuse me of cheating

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: We are also in couples counseling which hasn't necessarily been overly helpful

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: He keeps saying that he's got him better with his accusations or should just be more patient with him since he's my husband

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Our last fight was a few nights ago

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: We were being intimate which is a struggle too since I have low libido and he said my breast

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: He said like winter green copen hagen

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I googled this in it's the back of some sort and then he found slash tasted a piece on me

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_00]: They accused me of cheating

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously ruined our intimacy and he kept asking for an explanation

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I told him I did not have one besides I was hiking in the forest earlier that day

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe had a pine needle on me

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't accept this answer, I went to bed upstairs

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: However, he didn't bring it back up

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00]: When we discussed this in couples therapy

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I acknowledged that he didn't escalate this fight and didn't bring it back up

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Which was an improvement from his past episodes

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: He said accused me in therapy and said

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I could have been with another man in the forest

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Our therapist pointed out that this was kind of silly and suggested that if I was cheating

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I probably would have shoured my husband said true but said he learned not to trust people

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so tired of being accused

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I hurt so bad and he doesn't acknowledge the pain it causes

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: He also doesn't get help with the issues and has excuses as to why he hasn't done therapy yet

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_00]: He's upset at me because I told him I no longer have empathy for him and this issue

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I, he asked all here

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Three weeks after that OP comes in with another update and says hi Reddit

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you all for your advice and responses

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I greatly appreciate and ready to one

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Well here is the update

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: A few nights ago it asked where I'd gone

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I was confused as I had not gone anywhere

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: He proceeds to say my car was backed in the driveway

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't back it in unless I had groceries and now is pulled in

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I said I didn't go anywhere

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: He thought my answers were weird

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But I was acting weird but he left it alone

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Later that night, I am initiating handholding and cuddling

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00]: There's late and I said I'm going to bed and I love you

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: He hesitated to give me a good night kisses but he did it anyway

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: A few moments later he goes to take a shower

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: A 10 pm at night

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: But she hasn't done before

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: As you may have taken care of business in self

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: During this time I say a prayer and say

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: This feels weird, give me a sign of this is weird

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_00]: When you go out the shower, get back in bed and then taps me

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00]: The procedure says he is done and I'm crushing a soul

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Because he says I don't initiate sex and I'm disrespectful

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And says I'm selfish

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: In couple therapy last week

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: He said the only needs sex like once a month

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Then we'll take other stuff as supplemental essentially

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Last week after I uncovered I was molested in therapy

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Had sex with him and gave my hand job

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00]: He says since I've come home, I haven't tried at all to give them what he needs

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I am trying my hardest

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's not forget I take care of him, his kid, the animals, the house, literally everything

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_00]: He wants a gold star because he's helped me with a dish is more and is helped me with

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Transporting his child to him from school and now some account

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_00]: During couples counseling today

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: He said the same things and then said

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I was using my newly found trauma as an excuse to not have sex

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: He also raised his voice to the therapist and said the therapist was being biased towards me

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And not holding me accountable

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: We kept going around and circles after therapy and I finally said I am done

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it anymore

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently packing and crying a lot

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Moving into my apartment on Monday

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Guys I'm crushed

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sad I'm so confused

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't speed

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you everyone

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Eldrich replies that says not the asshole enough is enough

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I know we want to support our loved ones but this sounds exhausting

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00]: OPC says it is I am exhausted

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Someone gives some OPC a lot of advice

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You know getting a duck in a row and the lever has opened and OPC says you're right

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I keep hauling out hope

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to get ready to leave. I don't know if I'm ready

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But I guess you're never really ready

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Orphus says have you actually contacted his ex and asked for about the end of the relationship

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Because controlling partners sometimes lie about having been cheated on

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00]: If I haven't excuse to go through their partners like Tronix and an act absolutely insane

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Also please check his phone in return to make sure he isn't projecting

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_00]: OPC says his ex is his baby mama

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I've met a renona for a while now

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I probably wouldn't believe my husband if

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't watch a ruin her recent engagement by cheating with multiple men

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_00]: As far as projection

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00]: A few months ago his Instagram explorer page was full of busty instrumental models

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I came from today many apologising said he wouldn't do it again

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00]: He said he was just looking at pictures and profiles

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: He said he didn't interact with anyone

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00]: His explore page still has occasional lost for women

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00]: He also searched for someone I think as a porn star

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And then when I looked a few days later his search history was cleared

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: So he might be

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Up they too

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I went back to the house yesterday to get my animals

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: He was there

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00]: He tried convincing me that six months from now

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00]: We'd both be different and could make it work

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I kept telling him I am done

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't want to accept it but eventually did

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: When he accepted it he told me I was abandoning my family and my responsibilities

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me I gave up on them

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And he left

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I got my animals and we spent our first night in the apartment

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel some peace and freedom

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_00]: But I also feel sadness and guilt for leaving

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I think this will be good though

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you Reddit fans for encouragement and help me stay strong

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And tell him no, would he try to get me back

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to cope with a guilt of hurting someone I love so much

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Agent Lara Croft replies to it all and says

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry you had to deal with this

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00]: What your ex did was absolutely not okay

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_00]: He can't excuse his actions just because he was traumatised by cheating in the past

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_00]: He cannot excuse flipping the narrative on you

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And trying to find other reasons to make you the villain

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_00]: You deserve better

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00]: He's doing not feel guilty

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Fransuring your own safety and well-being

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Beauty demon says

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't feel guilty about constantly accusing you of cheating so don't feel guilty about leaving him

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And as a abusive behavior behind

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00]: He's upset because you aren't there today care of him in his kid

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Not that he continuously hurts you with false accusations

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Because he can't be bothered to learn coping skills

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Fuck this guy

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Take yourself for a while

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And find what you really like

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And OP made absolutely the right choice after that, you know

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_00]: This because he was cheated on the past

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_00]: There reason for him to punish her and it just feels like he is projecting in this at the same time as well

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And let's move on to another story

[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Now next story comes from a throw away account from the idea

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So he has subreddit and says am I the asshole here for not telling my ex that I am married?

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I had a weird situation to happen last weekend and was hoping to get perspective on if what I did was wrong

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Why wife and I were in this Seattle last weekend visited my family

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_00]: We're both in our early 30s and I happily married for four years together for six

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_00]: We went out to a bar on Saturday with a bunch of my friends to catch up

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_00]: When I was going to the restroom, I felt a tap on my shoulder and to my surprise

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_00]: It was Jen my ex

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Jen and I dated for four years in our early twenties

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Jen left me because she wanted to explore herself and since I was a first boyfriend

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_00]: She felt like she was missing something in life

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I was very happy with her and had a job in tech that put us on a very stable financial path

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It was probably a few months away from proposing her

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: It was heartbroken and it took me a few years to get started dating again

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Although Jen and I stayed friends for a year after breakup

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I went no contact with her so that I could move on and ever talked to her since then

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I wife knows all about this

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Back to the incident

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Gens tapped on my shoulder and I was surprised to see her

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_00]: She hugged me and we exchanged pleasantries

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_00]: She was there with our friends and they were all sitting at the bar

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I knew most of them

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00]: They also came to say hello

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00]: We chatted for a few minutes, I felt like I need to end the conversation

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_00]: We mostly talked about what I was doing back in my hometown and how we have been

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I broke the shoulder it was nice to see her after years and I need to go back to our table as I'm out with my friends

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She said okay and I quickly turned around

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_00]: My surprise my wife was standing right behind me

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00]: My friends identified Jen from our table and my wife came to stand next to me

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I told my wife what up we co-incidence and took her hand and went back to the table

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: When I sat at the table all my friends started talking about Jen

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife seemed visibly uncomfortable about the situation

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to change the subject but I learned that Jen married someone a few years ago

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And then got divorced last year

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_00]: She moved back to our hometown so she can stare at parents' house

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Till she figures things out

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife seemed really interested in Jen's life and a lot of questions while I was just trying to avoid the whole topic

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_00]: When we were driving home

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I wife asked me why didn't tell Jen that I was married and she was my wife

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She feels I should have introduced her to Jen so that Jen can see

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm happily married to my wife

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her I was just trying to end the conversation as I went no contact with her a long time ago

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And prefer to keep it that way

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_00]: But why asked me how I felt after seeing her after a long time

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her that was surprising so I was not expecting to see her

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: But to be honest, I felt like she was a stranger

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I told my wife I didn't feel sad that things didn't work out for her

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife was upset because she felt I should have introduced her to Jen

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_00]: She felt that Jen hugged me for too long and I should have clearly told Jen that I was married and have a lovely wife

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife feels she came all the way from the table to stand next to me

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Without slightly insulted, I did not include her in the conversation

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_00]: From my perspective, I was just trying to get out of the conversation

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And don't see how it helped anyone

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Issue became worse the next morning when Jen sent me a friend's request on Instagram

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And also message me on my phone saying it was nice to meet me

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel that triggered my wife

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And for some reason my mom who went on a rant about Jen because she hated Jen when we were dating

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_00]: That made my wife very happy

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife feels that I did not communicate clearly too Jen and I was married

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And that was the reason why she messaged me the next day

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I rejected the follow-up request on Instagram and also did not respond to a message

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_00]: However, a part of me feels my wife might be right and I did something wrong here

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But my the answer for not telling Jen that I was married and

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Introduced it to my wife who was standing right next to me

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to get out of the conversation and was in a hurry to end it

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: So in the comments plastic concerts as I didn't understand how you spent time catching up

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_00]: But didn't bring up your wife once

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's just by insinuation by using we instead of I prone them

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm married and it's natural to say we without even thinking about it

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_00]: We're visiting the family we just bought a new house

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00]: It also seems more natural for you to have told your ex

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to get back to my wife instead of I have to get back to my friends

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Like you were with your wife first and foremost

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully she's not on afterthought to your friends

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you truly wanted to end the conversation the wife was a built-in excuse

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry I have to really go my wife's waiting for me

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I do find your behavior kind of odd. Is there a chance that at least subconsciously

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't want Jen to know you were married

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Ubarak Nees says his wife went into the next room with Jen right there and decided not to introduce her

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: This world 100% our best appear the OPs wife like you wanted to get her out of there before either wife notices

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_00]: They're astring between OPN's ex or ex finds out about his wife

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Like the her the situation isn't sane and shady as fuck and so those would be the reasons to try and get out of the

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Conversation quickly that introduce her now or let no one's married

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Also instead of accepting their friend or quest in front of his wife and saying oh also a little shocked bump into you

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I forgot to introduce you to my beautiful wife who was standing next to me

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_00]: He just does next set the request

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Which again just looks like hiding shit rather than openly telling about his wife

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It's weird anyway you look at it

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine your wife standing right next to you and you can't take three seconds to introduce her

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_00]: If my partner did that I'd be mad as fucker because frankly

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Is straight rude regardless of who they're talking to but in this situation

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_00]: It also comes across is trying to hide something

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Minty Walker says you're the asshole you told Jen that you were there with your friends

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't mention and your wife?

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Why is that?

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Then we're a stop says you're the asshole next ask you how you've been able to last you years and one of the top things on your list of

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you're so good isn't that your marital wonderful woman

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm being totally honest this post was overwhelmed mainly you're the asshole, but I didn't see it

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And I got no I'm probably gonna get flack for this one, but I'm very happy to do so

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: He bumped into this group of people that he went no contact with some time ago

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So that he could move on he bumped into him as basic

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Friendly chitchat wants to get himself out of the situation

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, of course he could have said my wife and friends are waiting for me

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But it just felt to me like one of those conversations where you bump into someone you don't really want to chat to him for very long

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: So you just make small chitchat and then you excuse yourself shortly after a bit in those situations before

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Those kind of situations where you don't want to talk about your personal life and who you're seeing

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Who you're married to et cetera, et cetera, but then his wife gets up and stands behind him

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't know she was there

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: So what she doing just staring at his back the whole time. I like I first found that weird

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: And the friends didn't have the situation they were sat at the table with OPs wife and

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And obviously saying something to her to make a get up and walk over anyway like oh you know that's his ex

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And it just felt like what is a minor issue has now been blown up into a huge insecurity thing

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know I feel like I might get hate on that one, but you still have to let me know what you've been

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_00]: A couple of days later OPs comes in with an update and says I wrote a post a few days ago

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Regarding bumping into my ex gen when I was on the trip to my hometown

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I why saw me talking to her and came up to me and like an idiot

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I forgot to introduce gen to my wife

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife was a bit upset that I did not tell gen I was married

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks everyone who commented and let me know you unanimously how stupid I was during the whole interaction

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We came back home yesterday

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Although my wife seemed to have gotten over the incident

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But aside at the best were apologize to her and let her know that I did not have any wrong intentions

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Who's just a deer in a head like moment for me and a shit of introduced at a gen

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_00]: At night when my wife was scrolling her phone and bed

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I decided to bring out the topic. I told her I wanted to apologize for the incident

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I know I messed up royally and I should have introduced it again so she can see that I'm happily married together

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her that I was just surprised to see her

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And I really wanted to get out of the conversation as soon as possible

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I wife said it was okay and she saw her flustered I was when I was talking to gen

[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that when gen saw me and hoped me everyone at the table started staring at us

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_00]: One of my friends Rita made some scandalous comments regarding why gen is doing schmoozing with me

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife had never seen gen's picture in a real world to realise that I was gen

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She thought she would stand next to me and once I tell gen that I'm here with my wife

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_00]: She would leave me alone

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_00]: However when she stood next to me for more than a minute

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Gen noticed her and gave her a dirty look

[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Once I turned around to go to the table

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_00]: She was hoping I would introduce her to gen

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So gen knows she was my wife not some random girl standing next to me

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_00]: However, I just hurried back to the table with her

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Again a apologise to her and told her from my perspective

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I was just trying to finish the conversation and get back to the table

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_00]: In hindsight, I should have done what she said but I froze in the moment and was not thinking straight

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_00]: She again asked me why was acting so weird around gen

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had a better answer but talking to gen just felt wrong and

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_00]: All I was thinking was I needed to get back to my wife

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked her if she felt bad that I was talking to gen or that she hugged me

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_00]: You told me that she's always been curious about gen since I was close to marrying her

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_00]: When she saw me around her, she felt it. I was still acting like how someone acts around their crush

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Moreover, she saw gen and realised how beautiful she was and felt insecure in that moment

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_00]: My friends making a big deal out of it did not help either

[00:22:57] [SPEAKER_00]: She asked me if I ever wished gen did not break up with me

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her that if I had a time machine

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I would wish 100 out of 100 times that gen would break up with me

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So that I got to meet my wife and build such a beautiful life together

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_00]: As made her smile and she gave me a big hug

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked her if I should messaged gen for that and no I'm married

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_00]: She said there's no need to. This is my profile picture on messages at the picture with my wife

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And gen should have seen that already

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Also, my Instagram is public with a lot of pictures of my wife and me

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Though she asked me to just ignore her message and get on with her lives

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Again everyone, thanks for being so brutally honest

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'd expect, I read it

[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I just found some other comments on that one absolutely wild like

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_00]: He will speculate in more because he got so tongue tied around and you know he must still love her

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Some people said that he would leave him over that. I mean, I know myself that I'm awkward in conversation sometime

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I could totally see myself in a situation like that

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Reising like hyper-focused in on getting myself out of that situation not noticing what's around me, it's there,

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's a me problem, but it is just a reaction. There's no ill intent there whatsoever

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_00]: However, I'm glad that their relationship did move forward

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_00]: That they did discuss things, etc etc, but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You'll love your support your time always means you absolutely were all to me

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so so much, hopefully see you in the next one. Hey, care

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Disks from Pesia. Außer Reichweite von Kindern auf Bewan