I'm Leaving My Boyfriend For Buying Lingerie "As A Prank" For His Female Friend r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's up?

[00:00:04] [SPEAKER_00]: What's up?

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_00]: What's up?

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00]: What's up?

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_00]: This 24 female have been together for a year and a half.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I love him a lot, and he's been pretty amazing to me.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: He's also the sort of person who has lots of friends, and his close friends are pretty

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_00]: much family.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: He also loves to Joe can play these harmless pranks on his friends, which sometimes makes me

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: feel weird.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Just for context, he has two female friends and three male friends.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: This is about my boyfriend and one of his friends, Claire, when he ate female.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire is a nice woman and we are friendly.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend also never ignored me in favor of his friends or talked over me in front of

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: them, which is why I don't understand if I'm in the right.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00]: They, my boyfriend's friends, had a recently escalated prank fight.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd made it clear to my boyfriend that I'm not good at jokes and rather stiff, and

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: he said he would keep me out of it.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire, my boyfriend and another friend Kyle, 27 male, even had a huge throwing water

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: balloons fight in Kyle's backyard.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Then my boyfriend got pranked with dye in his body wash.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Then Kyle got pranked by Claire, something about whipping cream and other mitts.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: But the issue was when my boyfriend bought a red lacy launcher set, and he planned to put

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: it in Claire's room the next time when he went over.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I said it was a tacky prank, and why would he buy lingerie?

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_00]: None of the previous pranks had been of this kind, and it makes me really uncomfortable.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I also felt if I was Claire, I'd feel gross about it.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But my boyfriend got mad and offensive and told me Claire is cool like that, and she would

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: think it's funny.

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I admit, I get a bit weirded out when he caused Claire extremely beautiful, and jokes

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: about how she was always been way out of his league.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But I thought it was nothing, and they were like family.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess it was their thing.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: However, a lingerie prank had me put my foot down, and I said that he was wrong to give

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: another woman lingerie, no matter who, when he had a girlfriend.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00]: We fought and I said I wanted to break up, which he didn't want to, and I said that I

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: was just overreacting.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: He said I was too conservative and he'd open my mind when he never gave me a reason

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: to be insecure.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire called me and said that she and my boyfriend have been friends for a long time, and

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_00]: inside jokes are just that, and I'll learn with more age.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Still feel weird about this.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I best friend this supportive of me no matter what I do, but I started to feel like I'm

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: blowing this out of proportion.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend says that the fact that he told me and didn't hide it from me shows that I'm

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: the problem.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I started to feel like I'd blown this out of proportion, and maybe it's my fault I can't

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: take a joke.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel really awful about this whole thing.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I am I, the asshole here.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Edit.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: The people ask him what the prank is with a lingerie.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently, it's an inside joke about how during their college days, jets and problems

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_00]: with a colour red, and the lingerie would have just given her a shock of some kind I guess.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I told my boyfriend it was cruel, but he said it wasn't a trauma thing, just an inside

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: joke.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire also said over the phone that the lingerie thing was just an inside joke of their

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: college days.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, I don't blame you for being uncomfortable in this situation.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go start from the reasons backwards on this that he called her beautiful

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: but extremely beautiful, and that she's out of his league.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And then the size that by her lingerie is like, oh yeah, this is just a prank, this

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00]: is just an inside joke, and she's saying the same to you at the same time and says,

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and that you're going to learn more with age.

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: The difference between you two in ages or years, that your mindset is going to change

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: in those four years.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: What the fuck are you wild thinking is that?

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Can you imagine saying something like that to your partner about someone else?

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Are they extremely beautiful?

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you know, they may be, but you don't say that to your partner and then

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: like, but she's always been out of my league.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Why would you do that?

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: But Lex says not the answer, you aren't blowing this out of proportion.

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00]: How is buying lingerie and putting it in someone's room a prank?

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: You're learn with age.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a four year difference between you and Claire, that she think in four years or somehow

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: think buying lingerie is acceptable and somehow can be considered a prank.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Girl, I'm in my 40s and I can tell you right now.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I would never be an acceptable inside joke or prank, and your boyfriend telling you

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: you're the problem because he didn't hide it from you.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just playing, trying to manipulate and gas like you.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need him to agree to dump his ass.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You deserve better.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Drop him and fuck Claire too.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Not literally.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: An email I spec to says in quotes, Claire called me and said,

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: that she and my boyfriend have been friends for a long time and inside jokes are just that.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll learn with more age.

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Then says tell Claire boundaries exist and adults respect boundaries.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: They're so care if they don't understand, they're learn with age.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Bans commander says, I had this happen almost word for word when my ex is ex who we

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: still as friends with should have quite a distance away was coming over to stay the

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: weekend.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: She made a joke to her mask and if he needed to bring any blankets with her or if he would

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_00]: keep her warm.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: He thought it was weird and inappropriate so told me about it right away.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Both agreed it was okay.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Then when he confronted her about it, he told her, oh, he thinks you're trying to sleep

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: with me.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't, but and completely threw me under the fucking bus.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She turned it around into and used to live at his grandmother's and she would stay

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_00]: with him there.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: She had to bring extra blankets because she was always cold.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: So she was just making a cheeky little joke of that.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing was meant by it.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: They've been friends longer than he's even known me and she doesn't have to explain

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: herself and neither should he.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: They're adults and just friends who can make jokes.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: My discomfort was completely ignored by both of them after that and I was reduced to

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: just being jealous because that wasn't what she meant and even if it was, he would never

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00]: sleep with her.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: The mental gymnastics people do when called out on inappropriate behavior is just disgusting.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Missing says, my ex fiancé was gifted lingerie on friendship day by her male best

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: friend.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00]: As extremely uncomfortable, we later broke up due to the fact that turns out, the escalated

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: it to sex at some point afterwards.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: As a man, no man buys women under wear unless he wants to see her in it.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't buy sexy lingerie as a joke gift.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: A prank war is just an excuse that gives him deniability because he's a coward.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Sounds to me like you struck too close to the truth.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: His comfort and his shock is perfect deniability plan didn't work.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: A final comment which was a reply to that and says this,

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I was given lingerie even a prank who's absolutely testing boundaries with both of you.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It's so disrespectful to you.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's response is very telling.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: She knows he wants Seren, she likes the attention.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00]: If she said she wanted him, you can bet he'd dump you in a heartbeat.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Good for you for having self respect, the moving on from someone who clearly is using

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: your prank as a way to let Claire know he's thinking about her wearing the lingerie.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Edit, do your recent edit that's an inside joke about the colour red.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: At a such bullshit, he's gaslighting you.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: So if it's about the colour, then why does it have to be lingerie?

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You could have literally anything else in the colour red but he chose lingerie.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: If this inside jokes sounds convoluted, that's because it is.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Their excuses make no sense and when that happens, someone is lying.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP came in with an update and said my inbox got floated with DMs and had to turn off

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: red at notifications.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: When I posted this, I was ready to be called immature and ridiculous and get a couple

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00]: of comments but it seemed like the post blew up and the comments were kind of eye-opening.

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_00]: To be honest, before all this fiasco, my boyfriend has always been nice to me.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Came with me to my grad school functions even though he found them very boring but would

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: do it so that I could network.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: He build stuff like furniture and helps out with handy work all the time.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: It's also very funny and at the very beginning, I thought all of his jokes were funny

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00]: and sometimes wondered why he wanted to be with me.

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Plus, I was always busy with school and job interviews.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_00]: His mum and I had even gotten close and just been saying how happy she is that we were together.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd always ignored his in-class weird dynamic because I told myself, I was being insecure.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I have male friends too and I thought that just because we aren't like that doesn't mean

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00]: my boyfriend and Claire can't be close.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire has also never been outright mean to me.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: He was just a loof and I thought it was because I was new to the group.

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Pretty actual update.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend and I broke up.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry guys but even after seeing so many replies on how he was cheating,

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I refused to believe it.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm selling love with this guy and he called me like half a day after I wrote this post

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I met him and he said that he understood where I was coming from.

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: But I was always too uptight to understand that friendship is friendship.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: The ink Claire had no need each other for years before I came into the picture

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and I cannot expect them to just ruin their dynamic.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him what sort of dynamic was red lingerie?

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't be literally any other type of clothing.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me he had it with my insecurities and that he and Claire talked and apparently

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I was making them sound like cheaters and home records and I thought it was better if I

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: find someone like me.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00]: You thought the idea of a fun night was junk food and a movie indoors.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_00]: That hurt a lot.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You'd always known that insecurities about being called boring.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: It was complemented me on how his weaknesses were my strengths.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Now he says things like this to me.

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Also before this lingerie for you asker, I've never said a word about his enclosed friendship.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And we supported his pranks and practical jokes.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_00]: No matter my opinions on them because I thought it was his business what he did with his hobbies.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And he leaves without even putting up a fight because his girlfriend didn't want him

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00]: even lingerie to the woman he constantly refers to as his sexy, bestie back in now.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire didn't call or text after the breakup.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: But Kyle did and said that he was sad that we broke up and hooked an RBOK in the future.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him if my boyfriend ever cheated on me.

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_00]: He said that my boyfriend had only been a one woman man when he was dating me.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But he could understand that someone can't handle female best friends, especially if they look

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: like Claire.

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I told him to fuck off and block them.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00]: If I like you only wanted to gloat in hurt me because my boyfriend left.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I never knew these people.

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Claire and Kyle were always at least decent to me if not nice.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_00]: It didn't make me a free target now that my boyfriend has been telling his friends

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm an insecure child.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what to do now.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been told repeatedly by both my friends and sister that I dodged the bullet.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00]: But I've been breaking down like a kid again and again.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm even thinking of going to therapy after feeling the most insecure I felt my whole life.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to all who were supportive.

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Seems like my now ex-boyfriend just did the work for me.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_02]: So, because a podcast comes to an end of the day.

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I've been eating it all.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Claire and that's it.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Now there are some of the rugs in the middle of the wall.

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Now the vegan food is going to be fun for the little ones.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_02]: From Naggets, Mr. Mortardella,

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_02]: will be the product after the challenge of the VRO for the product.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And the smacking superlicker.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the best smacking.

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_02]: When you're all smacked.

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Bring the muggler.

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You know that you are a fast-moverning girl,

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_01]: you are a coffee and a snack.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_01]: No panic, a personal disc is a risk.

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_01]: With their powerful forms, you can see the hard-nacquests.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_01]: For deep-fried fish.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Just the disc is the dream of being in the dream.

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And the rest, that's what your machine does.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you always give your best.

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Try the best disc from a dog.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Also, I tried to font-kind an off-be-van.

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And as always OP, I know this is going to be incredibly painful for you.

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Up this current moment, but I think what I'm going to say is going to be a reflection

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_00]: of a lot of the comments below.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't looked at them yet, but you dodged a bullet here.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of this guy accepting any responsibility for the weird dynamic, and there's nothing

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_00]: wrong with having opposite sex friends, etc.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_00]: But there needs to be boundaries in place.

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_00]: He has none.

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_00]: He clearly has something for his sexy bestie, the one that's way out of his league, and just

[00:13:21] [SPEAKER_00]: look at his behavior on your final meeting with him.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of accepting any kind of responsibility, he's again playing on your insecurities

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_00]: and trying to twist the whole thing onto you, calling you uptight when you confronted him

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00]: about the dynamic with the red lingerie.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_00]: He, instead of answering, he just said, I've had it with your insecurities.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_00]: He couldn't answer because the answer is obvious to everyone.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Again, this isn't a good person.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00]: This is someone that's willing to target your insecurities to get himself out of the

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_00]: shit.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_00]: It's what we see in a lot of these types of stories, the direvo response, and shit.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't food a movie, sounds like a good time to me.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Who doesn't love a junk food a movie night?

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_00]: What the hell?

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00]: But whatever happens going forward, OP.

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Walk with the head held high and remember you've done the right thing here, and I hope

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_00]: you find someone that truly appreciates you.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Now our next story comes from a accomplished bar 5656 who says, I've the asshole for

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_00]: doing my parents, my college money.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_00]: My great aunt set up a savings account for all of her female relatives.

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Now our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_00]: She lived with her father in London where she was educated.

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She went on to attend university and became a doctor.

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_00]: She married a British man.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_00]: They moved to America and had a great life.

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_00]: She funded the education of many of her nieces and grand nieces as she could.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could.

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_00]: My parents managed to access the accounts that I was set up for my sister and I.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_00]: They used it to pay for my brother's wedding.

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_00]: My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_00]: of going to college.

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_00]: When I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: It was like $13,000 left.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked my parents about it and they said that they had needed the money.

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I finally found out where the money went.

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I got furious.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I got student loans and moved out.

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a great source of shame to them and I don't give too far.

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently suing them for the money that was left for me.

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: My entire family is against me.

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00]: The all-thing I'm a complete asshole for airing private family business in public

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm putting money ahead of family.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: My friends are all on my side but they're all Americans and don't really get my culture.

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Either do I to be honest.

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_00]: My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I dropped the lawsuit.

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract.

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_00]: He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him.

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don't want to have this debt I should not have.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I always find it hilarious when in these stories when they said,

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I quite won't be said.

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: The all-thing I'm a complete asshole for airing private family business in public.

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_00]: You know why?

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want to air this private family business in public.

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_00]: They make them look like the fucking books that they are.

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_00]: They're wrong.

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_00]: They took this money that was yours.

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_00]: They stole this money that was yours for your education.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Kindly provided by your great-own who sounds like a wonderful person by the way.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And as for your brother quite frankly, I wouldn't trust someone either that's

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_00]: we're willing to call you an asshole and defend their actions at the same time.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_00]: A timely ask says not the asshole, your parents didn't borrow your money.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: They stole it.

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_00]: If you have all the documents to show that money was yours.

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Your brother is also the asshole for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_00]: ever chance to start a life without student debt.

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00]: You do whatever you can to do that.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Your parents and I'm sorry but their culture sounds completely toxic.

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad you got out.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says the student law center at my university is helping me with everything.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I've proved that the money was mine.

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to do everything I can so this doesn't become a criminal matter.

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope we'll replace that and say I'm sorry but this is a criminal matter.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_00]: If this was for an American university,

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: you'll talk in 200K to 300K.

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_00]: After that much is jail time.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Mopper says in quotes, they think I'm being a complete asshole for airing private

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_00]: family business in public and that I'm putting money ahead of family.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Then says no, they think you're an asshole for holding them accountable for their awful actions.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_00]: They thought you would be a pushover that you're showing them that you were not.

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Your great aunt would be proud of you.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And you aren't the one putting money ahead of family.

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_00]: They did when they stole your money.

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody showed you how little they think of you,

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00]: or respect you all love you as a family member when they screwed you over.

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Not the asshole obviously.

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Cavix says not the asshole your parents and your brother had the opportunity to keep this

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: a private matter when you told them you would sue them if they didn't return the money

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_00]: or pay for your schooling.

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Since you've already been betrayed by family members you trusted.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Your brother should not be offended that you want a written contract.

[00:18:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And a final comment from Professor Yafel one who says not the asshole.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Your parents stole from you.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I find it difficult to believe that that's culturally acceptable.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00]: If they asked you to agree to the money being used it would be different,

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_00]: although still not great given the power and balance.

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to thought that intentionally disrespecting the dead would be a no-no in most cultures.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You aren't airing family business in public,

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_00]: who dealing with a theft.

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Your parents are the ones who chose to lie and steal.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And they're the same blame that their actions are caught up with them.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And yes relying as formal binding legal contract in place to withdraw your legal claim is essential.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You're not being an asshole.

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: If your brother is honest and trustworthy then there is no reason for him to object.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_00]: If he isn't then there is a reason to get it formally drawn up.

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP came in within update over a year later and says,

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00]: It's over. I got my money.

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I've also been pretty much disowned by my family but I consider that a win as well.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: My family is embarrassed that I fall into this point after it offered to pay me back in instalment.

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody is willing to answer me when I ask what would make my parents pay me back?

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh stupid enough to trust them.

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been told that I will never find a husband from my culture with my belligerent attitude

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and striding independence.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I laughed. I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoy the food.

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I plan on never returning to that country.

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm enjoying the independence I have achieved and more than happy to know that several other

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00]: young women in my family have taken steps to lock down the education funds left for them.

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Those you, that think it is sexist my great aunt only cared about educating women.

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Please, die angry.

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Do a comment to set on the back of this one.

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00]: The only way for this to be a happy ending is if your parents saw the inside of a jail

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00]: self-fulstilling your money.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you reply saying that as how we won.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I lawyer started asking for documents that would show exactly that and that could have been legal

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: not just financial consequences. They agreed to pay me back.

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And how yeah good for opinion this situation.

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And look I don't know the four ins and outs about how OP felt about dealing with family but

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I know some stories we've read, books I've read, audio books I've listened to at the same time.

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_00]: How difficult it can be to cut those ties to deal with family members when they try to manipulate

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_00]: you with family ties etc. OPMARE found it easy. Like I don't know.

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And the family makes it a little bit easier for OP with the way that they treat OP at the same time.

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I only imagine there's a lot of emotions there to deal with at the same time but

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I can good for OP in this situation. And I'm so glad they didn't trust them with the

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_00]: paying installments, didn't trust the brother because it all just felt like a trap to me.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm more like bar was shouting in my ear. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting them involved in today's

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_00]: stories. You'll love, you'll support your time not just towards me but towards one another down below

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_00]: in the comments, the OP's in the stories. The people within the stories that are the same time

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00]: it means the absolute world. So thank you so so much and hopefully I will see you in the next one.

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Take care and much love.