I'm Kicking Out My Pregnant Girlfriend After Discovering She's Stealing From Me r/Relationships

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[00:00:29] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some Reddit Stories.

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[00:00:46] And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:50] Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the Am I Wrong subreddit.

[00:00:55] It says, Am I wrong for throwing out my pregnant girlfriend who won't pay rent?

[00:01:00] Who says, I 26 male can't get over that my pregnant 22 female girlfriend stole from me?

[00:01:08] I posted here a few weeks ago about her canceling our plans to pick her sister up.

[00:01:13] She eventually came around to admit into being in the wrong, begged for forgiveness and told me it wouldn't happen again.

[00:01:20] I was reluctant to accept her apology because it took about a week for her to come up with it, but I took it and moved on.

[00:01:27] What I didn't mention and probably should have is she's 15 weeks pregnant.

[00:01:31] Since then things have been pretty much back to normal.

[00:01:35] However Christmas Eve I discovered my clothes and trainers in the wardrobe had been moved around.

[00:01:40] Not something odd have done.

[00:01:42] I knew she'd been wrapping gifts for her family in there. It's a walk-in wardrobe in the spare room.

[00:01:48] I know she can struggle for money sometimes and my first instinct was she'd been going through it to find something to give to her brothers as most of it still has tags on.

[00:01:56] The trainers are still boxed too.

[00:01:58] At night I wrongly looked through a Facebook Messenger and she's taking pictures of my trainers asking her mum if her brothers will fit them because I don't like it.

[00:02:08] I do like them, I just haven't had the chance to wear it.

[00:02:11] Her reply was I'll wrap them up then.

[00:02:14] Also asking if the exact size I am in clothes will fit her brother was on the messages.

[00:02:20] Making me think she's stolen other things.

[00:02:22] I don't even know half of the clothes I have so it's pretty hard for me to look and know what's missing and a lot are with tags on and brand new.

[00:02:31] I confronted her about it that night, told her exactly what I saw and my clothes had been moved around and the messages of her taking photos of my trainers.

[00:02:40] She said her mum was asking what trainers I wore to buy me some.

[00:02:44] What she didn't expect was me to pull up the screenshots with her reply saying she's going to start wrapping them and asking them if they're fit her brother.

[00:02:52] She then admitted she was going to but realised it was wrong and it wasn't because I confronted her about it.

[00:02:58] I look at her phone yesterday while she's asleep to see if there's any mention of anything that's been taken.

[00:03:03] And she tells her mum, who wants to keep the trainers now.

[00:03:06] With all previous messages deleted.

[00:03:09] She keeps denying it was because I confronted her that she didn't give them away.

[00:03:13] And she's denying she's stolen anything else because I'm blowing it up into something it isn't and she'd never steal.

[00:03:20] She says the reason she asked was because she gave a gift intended for me to her brother but she's refusing to show me the transaction or receipt for that.

[00:03:28] Denied, I told her unless I see proof she's bought gifts for her brothers herself I'm going to presume she's a thief and she's stolen from me.

[00:03:36] She's adamant she hasn't and that I'm being pathetic and she has shown me proof but not when I ask for it and in her own time.

[00:03:43] That was the last straw for me so I asked her to pack up and leave.

[00:03:47] She has somewhere safe to go because she can stop with her family for now.

[00:03:51] I'm being called dramatic and basically the one who's in the wrong.

[00:03:54] She's pregnant and for the sake of the child I've been trying to work things out but this is the last straw for me.

[00:04:00] Today he's messaging me that she's cancelled the baby scan to go away and live with her sister.

[00:04:05] I'm pathetic she's not lying but can't show me the receipt and if I'm breaking up with her she's free to do what she wants.

[00:04:12] She's saying I have no proof despite me seeing the messages.

[00:04:15] She's also saying she only considered it and stopped herself despite me seeing she'd replied after I confronted her saying

[00:04:22] she'll have to give her brother something else because he now wants to keep them.

[00:04:26] This is the way she acts to most things when she's in the wrong.

[00:04:30] Manipulation and not accepting fault for days where I refuse to speak to her.

[00:04:35] She is caring and hasn't really given me any other reasons not to trust her but this has broken my trust massively.

[00:04:42] How can I get over the fact that my trust has been completely broken?

[00:04:46] Edit.

[00:04:47] I know everyone is telling me to get a paternity test and I understand why.

[00:04:52] She never really given me a reason to suspect she's cheated.

[00:04:55] There's something I'll do now she's broken my trust and there's something I've said in a heated argument.

[00:05:00] The problem is she's told me that if I don't believe the baby is mine she won't consent to a test and she'll stop any access to the baby

[00:05:07] and my name won't go on the birth certificate.

[00:05:10] Yeah and I can totally see where OP is coming from in this situation.

[00:05:15] She has no right to steal his things and then give them away to her family

[00:05:20] and again it all comes down to trust and once she's done this the trust has been broken

[00:05:25] and the fact that she won't show these receipts in as you know manipulating in some way

[00:05:30] it's clear that she's lying in this.

[00:05:32] A lot of people were pointing out about the paternity situation

[00:05:36] and you know just saying go to court get this sorted out legally

[00:05:40] if she's going to start using the child in this situation as well.

[00:05:45] But Mista says she is a thief let her go.

[00:05:48] Do you get a paternity test before you sign the birth certificate?

[00:05:52] OP says yeah that's the thing she'd never consent to that.

[00:05:55] She told me if I don't trust her she's telling the truth it's my baby then I don't deserve to have it in my life

[00:06:00] and she'll never let me see it.

[00:06:03] Dirty Bottle says take her to court stop listening to anything she says.

[00:06:08] Thoreau Way says you're going to have trust issues with this person

[00:06:12] the problem now is there is a child involved.

[00:06:15] If she can't see the error in gifting your possessions is stealing then her reality is warped.

[00:06:20] You can either have a calm discussion discuss what boundaries are

[00:06:23] like at least ask first or consider separating parenting as an extreme if you can't work something out here.

[00:06:30] Hope you figure something out.

[00:06:32] OP says you're right the child is the priority for me but I want her to admit what she has taken

[00:06:38] otherwise she's thinking it'll all just blow over when from the messages I'm pretty convinced she's taken something.

[00:06:44] I even had to look at a camera I used for the dog over previous footage.

[00:06:48] She goes upstairs and comes down with three wrap gifts after being where my stuff is.

[00:06:53] Even after confronting her she's making out I'm deluded

[00:06:56] after telling her I've seen her already talking about taking stuff she just keeps saying yeah but I didn't.

[00:07:02] Voldemort for the win replies that saying don't let this woman back into your house

[00:07:07] she will never admit to what she has stolen because that would strongly imply taking responsibility for her actions.

[00:07:13] Take apart your wardrobes and cupboards one at a time and make a list of your possessions.

[00:07:17] Install a security camera at the front door at least change the locks and any more theft should be directly reported to the police.

[00:07:25] Today she's giving away your shoes next thing you know she's getting your expensive watches to her dear brothers

[00:07:30] get an attorney and take her to the court for the paternity test.

[00:07:34] I just find it absolutely wild you know I've read so many stories over the period of these years we've been doing this

[00:07:42] I'm in some ways I feel that maybe I'm a little bit desensitized to some of the behavior that happens

[00:07:49] and I still find myself like I pause the recording and I sit back and I think that is some wild ass behavior isn't it?

[00:07:58] Imagine going into your partner's wardrobe and just going through their shit and thinking yeah

[00:08:03] and I always think of like Lord of the Rings meme and Bilbo Baggins has got the ring and he's going after all why not

[00:08:09] why shouldn't I keep it?

[00:08:11] Imagine going through your partner's stuff and just taking stuff wrapping it up and thinking this is acceptable in any way shape or form

[00:08:19] is crazy ass behavior.

[00:08:21] So two months later OP comes in with her first update and says long story short

[00:08:26] my girlfriend and I have been living together for around 10 months when she first moved in

[00:08:30] she insisted on paying rent and I was reluctant to charge her if it didn't work out

[00:08:35] but she forced it and paid a month

[00:08:37] and I found out she's struggling for money unable to pay for things is in a lot of debt and lives month to month

[00:08:44] she agreed with me that she'd start when she clears the debt

[00:08:48] fast forward to Christmas I find out she's been stealing my clothes to give her family as gifts

[00:08:53] another post on here

[00:08:55] she lied for two weeks blaming me until I showed a footage of her taking the things from the camera in the living room

[00:09:01] to watch the dog when I'm out

[00:09:03] I later then discover through letters and texts I've seen appear on her phone

[00:09:07] she's been doing nothing to pay any of it off so I confront her

[00:09:11] she tells me and shows me messages that her mother and sisters constantly guilt-tripping to giving them money and have for years

[00:09:17] they'll message her on payday asking for it and she feels bad saying no

[00:09:22] despite none of them ever paying it back

[00:09:25] a mum alone owes her over £6,000

[00:09:28] she's taken a ton of loans out for her family and they leave her with the debt and don't pay it back

[00:09:33] luckily her credit is now at a point where nobody will loan to her

[00:09:37] but she still tries and does it for them

[00:09:40] I also find out I went through her finances

[00:09:43] yes I shouldn't have but something wasn't adding up and I was being lied to

[00:09:47] and in the space of 20 minutes she spent £300 on gambling sites

[00:09:52] or during this time she isn't paying her penny towards rent bills anything

[00:09:57] she'll occasionally buy food, shopping or trips out to Starbucks

[00:10:01] I tell her enough is enough and that she needs to start paying her way

[00:10:05] if she can give handouts to her family in gambles she can pay for where she lives

[00:10:09] and she's taken me for a ride when she should have been saving and clearing debts

[00:10:14] I make roughly five times what she does but I've been fair in that the bills are split proportionally to income

[00:10:20] she'll earn £1,400 per month and pay £600 which includes rent in her share of the bills

[00:10:27] I take on the rest which is substantially more but I believe it's not fair to take more

[00:10:34] on the first of this month she tells me she can't pay rent

[00:10:37] she said she's paid out too much on our trips to Starbucks food shopping

[00:10:41] and I'll get it when I get it but she doesn't understand why I need it this month

[00:10:45] when she's lived for free the past nine months anyway

[00:10:49] I've asked her to explain where her money has exactly gone

[00:10:52] but she tells me I'm controlling and it's none of my business

[00:10:55] In fairness she will pay when we go food shopping but rarely in comparison to me

[00:11:00] I kicked her out as of yesterday and told her she needs to find somewhere to live

[00:11:04] She is however pregnant and she's using that card as a way to guilt trip me

[00:11:08] and make out I've thrown her and my child out onto the streets

[00:11:12] In my opinion she is taking me for a ride and prioritising her family

[00:11:16] and is using her over her own family she started

[00:11:19] What's the solution here to getting her to see she's not treating me fair?

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[00:12:28] Ellie, can we have another update in a moment

[00:12:30] But Glacias says on the back of this one

[00:12:32] Dude your life is a train wreck

[00:12:34] You'll be forever tied to this mess

[00:12:36] Okay huns says wow

[00:12:38] This went from not your problem to congrats

[00:12:41] You're tied to this woman for a minimum of 18 years

[00:12:44] I get the feeling you want everyone to agree that your girlfriend's life is a train wreck

[00:12:48] It is

[00:12:49] But you have demonstrated a serious lack of foresight and maturity for continuing to sleep with this woman

[00:12:54] After all that's happened

[00:12:56] Then getting her pregnant

[00:12:58] You sir are an idiot

[00:13:00] Everyone sucks here

[00:13:02] Soapgo says nope, she stole from you

[00:13:04] Lies to you, she isn't paying her debt

[00:13:06] Is gambling and has given her money to her family

[00:13:09] Pregnant doesn't mean she'd get the freeload

[00:13:11] And she would only have gotten worse once the baby arrives

[00:13:14] Hell I wonder if the baby is even mine

[00:13:17] Or if she is even pregnant at all and isn't lying

[00:13:20] She's taking you for a ride and using you

[00:13:22] I bet anything if you let her back in

[00:13:24] She'll push you to stop working

[00:13:26] And have access to your account so she can stay at home

[00:13:29] And you know a lot of people calling go pee out for their lack of foresight

[00:13:33] You know the pregnancy or this sort of stuff

[00:13:35] Some people still saying about the paternity

[00:13:37] And if I'm being completely honest

[00:13:39] And you know I get called out for like being over empathetic about certain situations

[00:13:43] Absolutely

[00:13:44] And I get where you're coming from with it

[00:13:46] I really do

[00:13:47] And you know I think these people are best up

[00:13:49] Split up, separated from each other

[00:13:52] Just getting the pregnancy

[00:13:55] Assuming it gets his, it's sorted out in a legal way

[00:13:58] And working as amicably as possible

[00:14:00] I think that would be the ideal situation here

[00:14:02] The ideal is possible situation here

[00:14:05] But it sounds like she's got some serious financial issues

[00:14:08] First off, not excusing any of the behaviour whatsoever

[00:14:12] I think he's made poor choices

[00:14:14] And I think you know she's got some serious issues going on

[00:14:17] Especially at home as well with her family using her

[00:14:20] This is her normal

[00:14:21] From the sounds of it in the story as well

[00:14:23] So far she's got some gambling issues going on

[00:14:26] Stealing from people to give to her family

[00:14:29] Taking loans out on behalf of her family

[00:14:31] Her family is using her

[00:14:32] This is what she's grown up with

[00:14:34] And of course she's an adult now

[00:14:36] But these things do affect people's futures as well

[00:14:38] Again, I have to say it because people always like jump on my back

[00:14:42] I'm not excusing any of the behaviour

[00:14:44] And I just think it's so sad that this continues on

[00:14:48] For this person as well

[00:14:50] They may just be a total arsehole

[00:14:52] Absolutely

[00:14:53] But what a shit life to lead right?

[00:14:56] A shitty family that's using you

[00:14:58] Tackling a potential gambling issue

[00:15:01] Which she may not have even admitted to yet

[00:15:04] Stealing and thinking that's acceptable

[00:15:06] It's just incredibly messy

[00:15:08] And from what I've read and you know

[00:15:10] I feel bad saying it but

[00:15:12] I don't think she will change at any point in the future

[00:15:15] Bloopee comes in with another update

[00:15:17] And says I sat her down and gave her an ultimatum early last week

[00:15:20] I explained to her that we are a family

[00:15:23] And became a family when she decided to have a baby with me

[00:15:26] I told her if we're going to stay together

[00:15:28] She's going to have to be a lot more open

[00:15:30] Contribute and no more taking on debt she can't afford

[00:15:33] Which brings it to my door when she can't pay

[00:15:36] I also told her I want to see her bank statements

[00:15:39] Because I suspect she has a gambling problem

[00:15:41] And is in some serious debt

[00:15:43] She agreed to all of this and committed to showing me the bank statements

[00:15:47] When I ask and says going forward

[00:15:49] She'll pay towards bills

[00:15:51] I believe she's turned the corner

[00:15:53] And started getting along with her better

[00:15:55] And she moves back in

[00:15:56] As I was sat next to her phone last night

[00:15:58] When she went to grab a drink her phone lit up with a text message

[00:16:01] It read Loan accepted by Ex-Lender

[00:16:04] Quick here to accept

[00:16:06] I immediately called her out and she starts crying

[00:16:08] Telling me she has no money left again

[00:16:10] For the month and she has to resort to payday loans for some money

[00:16:13] I tell her she should have

[00:16:15] Have come to me

[00:16:16] And tell her I explicitly said no more loans

[00:16:19] She also tells me she won't be able to afford

[00:16:21] To pay towards bills again

[00:16:23] She works full time and brings home around

[00:16:25] 1200 to 1400 a month

[00:16:27] Dependent on hours but a lot of the time she phones sick

[00:16:30] So gets sick pay which is a lot less

[00:16:33] I ask to see her bank statements and she refuses telling me

[00:16:36] I'm being controlling by asking

[00:16:38] When she's told me

[00:16:39] And I don't need to see them

[00:16:41] That's the last straw for me

[00:16:43] I'm almost certain she's been given it away at this point again

[00:16:46] Or gambling

[00:16:47] I give her a scenario

[00:16:49] Your baby is starving and needs food

[00:16:51] And there's none in the house

[00:16:52] What are you going to do?

[00:16:54] She replies you'll have to pay

[00:16:56] That's fine I happily support my son

[00:16:59] I tell her because the mother is clearly a deadbeat

[00:17:02] So I ask to see our Facebook messenger

[00:17:04] To see if her family have been hitting her up for free money again

[00:17:07] And conveniently all of the family members that borrow from her

[00:17:10] Have the chats cleared

[00:17:12] She says she deletes them to be tidy

[00:17:14] Yet mine's still there

[00:17:16] I told her this isn't going to work

[00:17:18] And she tells me I'm a controlling freak basically

[00:17:21] And she agrees and I've not heard from her since

[00:17:24] Another story is she's too damaged from her upbringing I'm guessing

[00:17:27] And some people you just can't change

[00:17:29] She still messages me asking how I am

[00:17:31] But I'm just ignoring her

[00:17:33] Except from anything baby related

[00:17:35] I need to move on

[00:17:37] I know a lot of people question whether she's pregnant

[00:17:39] How stupid I was to get her pregnant

[00:17:41] I agree and if it's mine

[00:17:43] I've been to every scan so I know she's pregnant

[00:17:46] As for if it's mine

[00:17:47] I've never suspected cheating

[00:17:49] But she's a serial liar

[00:17:50] So I will be forcing a DNA test through the courts

[00:17:53] I posted on a couple of different subs

[00:17:55] To make sure I wasn't getting biased opinions

[00:17:57] The above story is 100% true

[00:17:59] I wish it wasn't, believe me

[00:18:01] But my focus is now getting as far away as possible from her

[00:18:04] For my own sake

[00:18:06] And the top comments on this one

[00:18:08] So someone says to OP

[00:18:09] OP are you going to fight for full custody

[00:18:11] OP says yes

[00:18:12] I really can't imagine that child having any sort of life

[00:18:15] If she continues down this path

[00:18:17] Trixie says

[00:18:18] You can get a DNA test pre-birth

[00:18:20] Why wait?

[00:18:21] Ask her for one now

[00:18:23] A response may tell you something

[00:18:25] Suburbanite says

[00:18:27] Please be more discerning about where you place your dick in the future

[00:18:30] And flashy says

[00:18:31] Probably the best condom ad I've seen this month

[00:18:34] And what a messed up situation that is

[00:18:37] An absolutely separation

[00:18:40] And you know

[00:18:41] Assuming once again that the baby is his

[00:18:44] Dealing with this as legally as possible

[00:18:46] Is going to be the best course of action moving forward

[00:18:49] I can't see anything changing anytime soon

[00:18:51] Which you know, I still do find incredibly sad

[00:18:54] I never excuse behavior

[00:18:56] And there's always the chance that arseholes are just going to be arseholes right?

[00:19:00] I know arseholes in my personal life from when I was growing up

[00:19:04] People I grew up with

[00:19:05] Still arseholes to this day

[00:19:07] But I always think about how they were affected by

[00:19:10] Their childhood and growing up

[00:19:12] Yes people can change as adults

[00:19:14] People can recognize and you know break the cycle of behavior

[00:19:17] And they still be arseholes? Absolutely

[00:19:19] They still are

[00:19:20] But there's still a part of me that thinks

[00:19:22] What could have been you know

[00:19:24] If they grew up with some kind of normal

[00:19:27] Girl I grew up with when I was younger

[00:19:29] She used to play with us occasionally, not all the time

[00:19:31] And I've spoken about her family in the past

[00:19:33] And what they were like

[00:19:35] Her parents were pretty much alcoholics

[00:19:37] I can only say this like looking back now

[00:19:39] They had all sorts of shady people turning up to their house

[00:19:43] People themselves that you know

[00:19:45] Had trouble passed by the looks of it

[00:19:47] All sorts of drug addicts that would go into

[00:19:49] Local town with steel products

[00:19:51] And sell it to this family

[00:19:53] In the summer pretty much their back garden was a party

[00:19:55] Full of all sorts of random people

[00:19:58] Getting absolutely smashed out of their heads drunk

[00:20:01] One of her parents died from alcoholism

[00:20:05] And there was pretty much family feuds

[00:20:07] Every week or so you could pretty much guarantee

[00:20:10] Talking literal fights, fist fights

[00:20:13] Smashed windows sometimes

[00:20:15] When the sort of mum, the head of the family

[00:20:17] Grandma to her

[00:20:20] When she passed away there was a massive fight

[00:20:22] Over her possessions you know

[00:20:24] People literally trying to

[00:20:26] Fighting over a sofa trying to pull it through the front door

[00:20:28] And they're fighting backwards and forwards for this

[00:20:31] It was a fight over all her jewelry gum

[00:20:33] Gone missing

[00:20:34] And still to this day the older generations

[00:20:36] Of that family have still got major issues going on

[00:20:39] Talking drug, alcohol related issues

[00:20:42] And this person that I knew when I was younger

[00:20:44] Basically is following the same path

[00:20:46] I'm not sure about drugs I suspect so

[00:20:48] Definitely alcohol

[00:20:50] And you can basically see transforming into a mum

[00:20:54] When I used to be on social media used to be able to see

[00:20:56] If there was some sort of argument within the family

[00:20:58] Her first call of action was you know

[00:21:01] To initiate a fight of some sort

[00:21:03] Or a threat

[00:21:05] There's never any talking it was always some sort of

[00:21:07] Aggressive way basically

[00:21:09] This is the way for their family

[00:21:11] All in all I just find it incredibly sad

[00:21:13] I think what kind of life is that you know

[00:21:16] I don't excuse it I don't like her

[00:21:18] I don't like the family I think they're arseholes

[00:21:20] But when I think about everything that goes on

[00:21:23] And the life that's been led and you know

[00:21:26] The generations of this I just find it just really sad

[00:21:29] I think I spoke about one of the family

[00:21:31] That sort of break the chain if you like

[00:21:33] And I was speaking to them once

[00:21:35] And they was telling me about how

[00:21:37] They basically said themselves that the family still arseholes

[00:21:40] They said that they dislike them

[00:21:42] But there is just so many different stories

[00:21:45] With that family as I said like pretty much

[00:21:47] A weekly occurrence

[00:21:49] In fact I've been talking to some people

[00:21:51] That I used to know some family members

[00:21:53] Getting different perspectives on what went on

[00:21:55] About some bingo is bingo in the US

[00:21:58] Or other countries about how

[00:22:00] What one of the family won a lot of money

[00:22:03] In bingo and the rest of the family

[00:22:05] All kicked off about it and it caused a massive drama

[00:22:08] I'm talking fights and all sorts

[00:22:10] I'm still getting all the details of that

[00:22:12] So I'll keep you updated on that one

[00:22:14] But anyway now I'm going to turn this one

[00:22:16] To you guys what do you guys make of this situation

[00:22:19] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:22:22] And just a huge thank you for the bottom of my heart

[00:22:24] And sorry for waffling on for so long

[00:22:26] For absolute nonsense

[00:22:28] Huge thank you and I'll see you in the next one

[00:22:31] Take care and much love

[00:22:54] See the sun shining from the windows

[00:22:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah

[00:22:58] Okay I know that today will be a good day

[00:23:00] I know that today will be a good day

[00:23:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah

[00:23:05] ABC

[00:23:07] One, two, three

[00:23:09] Drink some water

[00:23:11] Brush my teeth

[00:23:13] Get out of bed and I'll stretch

[00:23:25] It's me, Gigi Palmer

[00:23:27] Let's wake up those taste buds with hot juicy

[00:23:29] Pecan crusted chicken

[00:23:31] Or garlic butter shrimp scampi

[00:23:33] Hello, Fresh