I'm Heading For A Divorce But My Lawyer Just Gave Me THE BEST NEWS! | r/AITAH

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account. And it says,

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00] I'm heading for divorce, but my lawyer has given me the best news ever. My lawyer gave me the best news. My female 38 husband, soon to be ex-husband, has been cheating on me and he wants her instead of me. I'm probably naive because I didn't see this coming at all. I was researching vacation options for our 10th anniversary next year. And meanwhile he, male 39, was running around with another woman. She's either 25 or 27.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00] I can't remember which. I never thought heartbreak like this was real, but he broke my heart. I've known people who have gotten a divorce and you have to live separately for a year before you can get a divorce. But I wanted to be prepared so I made an appointment with a lawyer now. She told me in our state, alimony is forbidden if there is adultery. Since my husband cheated, I won't have to pay alimony. I was prepared that I would have to pay out the nose, but I have proof that he cheated, that he gave me himself.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00] So I won't have to pay him. This was the best news I could have gotten. Also, the living separately for a year only applies to no-fault divorces in my state. Since I have proof he cheated, my lawyer went ahead and filed on my behalf based on adultery. Technically, my husband and I still live together. Our lease expires on the 31st and the countdown on our separation was supposed to start November 1st.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00] I wish I could be there to see his face when, one, he gets served with notice that I filed and two, he finds out he won't get alimony because he cheated. He wanted a no-fault divorce and I know he was counting on getting alimony. It was the best news I could have gotten. I don't even have words for how amazing I feel. As you can imagine, there wasn't much info in the comments on the back of that one. Commenters were saying, congratulations, come back and share his reaction.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00] Please. Another one said, I love this for you and him. The best revenge is to live your best life and leave him in the dust. And one more that says, I've never been so excited for a stranger to get a divorce in my life. Buy that lawyer an edible arrangement. It was one and a half months after that, that OP did update and said, this is kind of anticlimactic, but there were some comments on my original post asking me, female 38, to update what happened after my husband was served with the divorce papers.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00] I also wanted to thank everyone for the comments they left. Even though I'd gotten good news from my lawyer that this had been the most horrible time of my life and all the encouragement did help. My husband, soon to be ex-husband, male 39, was predictably not happy when he was served and found out I'd filed for divorce. He was under the impression that we had to be separated for a year first. I just told him to talk to a lawyer.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] We moved out of our condo during the last week in October, when the lease ended, and we live separately now. A few days after he was served, I told him to talk to a lawyer and leave me alone. My husband told me he has changed his mind and asked if we could work things out. I said no fucking way and told him to have his lawyer talk to my lawyer because I'm done talking to him. He was upset and almost in tears when I said I wouldn't reconsider. It's been a month and I have not seen or spoken to him.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00] He hasn't tried talking to me again. Edit, and I'm extremely happy about it because I don't want anything to do with him ever again. Our lawyers are doing all the communicating. He may have been upset, but he broke my heart first, and even the good news from my lawyer hasn't erased how broken I feel. Edited to add, I'm turning off my messages so people will stop DMing me and calling me two-faced or other names for being disappointed that he hasn't contacted me again.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00] I'm actually happy he hasn't because I want nothing to do with him ever again. I'm the opposite of disappointed. So, a downvoted commenter said something along the lines of O2OP that about regarding the divorce and it can be difficult and how complicated feelings and how it's playing out. And O2OP replied saying, I'm ecstatic that he hasn't tried to contact me again. I'd hoped he would stop trying to talk to me after the first time when I told him to get a lawyer. I'm upset he contacted me a second time.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00] I thought I was clear the first time, but I'm glad he got the message the second time because I want nothing to do with him ever again. Commenter just said on the back of all of this, I'll bet she dumped him. Another one said he realized he derailed the gravy train and his new girlfriend dumped his broke ass. Good for you. You deserve better. And the last commenter says, I bet his girlfriend dumped him. Plus, he has nothing to gain from the divorce. So, of course, his pathetic ass wants to reconcile. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but time will dampen the pain.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00] Wishing you the best. Like, from his perspective in this, how deluded must you be to come back in and just come up to her and say, look, I've changed my mind. Like, she's suddenly going to turn around and go, okay then, let's stay together. Fucking Burke. But what do you guys make of this situation? Short, sweet, conclusive. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00] Now, our next story is from a throwaway account from the Relationship Advice subreddit and says, I, male 20, found a male sock in my girlfriend's female 22 room. When I confronted her about it, her roommate took the blame, but I don't believe them. So, a couple of days ago, I was at my girlfriend's place cleaning her room while she was at work, which I occasionally do whenever I come over. Upon cleaning, I found a sock that didn't belong to me between her bed and nightstand.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00] I know it's not mine because I don't own any socks of that brand. I immediately became upset and left, but I didn't text my girl because I didn't want to jump at her, especially when she was at work. So, I went home and chilled out. When she got off work and got home, we FaceTimed and that's when I asked her whose sock is that. She said, it's probably one of my exes before I met you. And I said, we've been dating for almost seven months. I've cleaned your room many times and I've never noticed a sock that your ex left.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00] I could tell that she wasn't taking me seriously until finally she said, are you trying to accuse me of cheating? And I said, no, I just want to know whose sock it is because you know that it doesn't belong to me or you. She hung up immediately after and I blew up her phone. So, about 15 minutes later, she called me back. This time, it was her roommate on the phone. Her roommate claimed that the sock belonged to a guy she was with and it ended up there when my girlfriend and her roommate were talking

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00] and he came in and threw a sock at her. Apparently, the guy just never came back to search and get the sock. The guy was a one-night stand on Tinder, so she didn't have any way to contact him and confirm. So, the story just had holes and felt made up on the spot. I just said, okay. I really didn't believe that story because if it was true, why didn't my girlfriend remember some guy throwing a sock at them? I'm not naive or gullible. I know it could be a lie, but I just overthink so much that I drive myself crazy.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00] I don't want to act on anything that I'm not 100% sure about, but my gut is telling me otherwise. Do you guys think she's cheating? Should I investigate more or let it go? I'll add a detail that's not in my post. My girlfriend and I don't text all day every day. We're just not that type to be under each other every day. We both have jobs and I go to school, so we're busy. We probably spend two to three nights a week with each other. I'm just never all up in her space wondering where she's at or what she's doing.

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00] So, people coming in with theories and Opie was replying to certain ones. Up down said to Opie, if she shares a washer and dryer with other people, it'd be really easy to end up with a misplaced sock. Opie says, this is a really good point and I didn't think of this, but if this were the case, why would they tell me the story about a guy throwing a sock at them? Switch says, you're not paranoid. The story stinks like low tide. The problem with their story is that there are a lot of amazing coincidences in it.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00] It's like lightning striking the same place twice. It can happen, but rarely does. For instance, why would the one-time Tinder hookup of the roommate feel so comfortable with your girlfriend that he threw a sock at her in her room? In turn, why was she so comfortable with having a stranger throw a sock at her that she didn't remember it? Was she blackout drunk? You have two choices. Leave, bell rings, or stay. If you stay and give her the benefit of the doubt, then make sure you never bring it up again.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00] However, you also need to keep one eye open for little things like she's hiding her phone, etc. or having more girls' nights out than she used to. If her behavior is sketchy going forward, then you confirm that she's cheating. Opie says, So with the Tinder thing, I don't know how her roommate does it, but she becomes really comfortable with randoms. And if you've seen the roommate and a random guy together, you'd think they're a couple with how smooth they are. She had times where she has sex with guys, and they end up staying a few nights before he actually leaves.

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_00] Racing says, You should probably implant a tracking device, or you could just chill out and not question her every move. If you're that concerned about her cheating, you need to either move on or figure out why she would cheat on you. I'd say one reason is you being overbearing. She's a person and not your possession. Many men and women don't seem to understand this. You're in a relationship and not an owner and product situation. Opie says, What gives you the impression that I'm trying to own her?

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00] I literally asked about a sock that didn't belong to me that was in her room. Stitch says,

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, Captain says, How does one leave someone's apartment and not realize they're missing a sock? If it was a Tinder date, I'm sure when he was about to leave, he would have realized, Oh fuck, I didn't have one of my socks on, and went and retrieved the sock from her room. Was there a period of time when you didn't hear from her for a few days?

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe she had a visitor come to town and stayed with her for a few days, and he left a sock then. That's really the only way I see this happening. Or she had a dude over and something made him leave in a big hurry, and he left a sock as he was running out of there. I think it's very odd and you were correcting your suspicions. Or it was really left from an ex and she was moving shit around in her room and came across it and didn't think it was a big deal. I don't see why she would get off the phone quickly and get her roommate involved.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00] Sorry man, I really think she's getting it on with another dude. Opie says, The only way I could think that someone would leave a sock is if they're comfortable being at your house, and they know you'll eventually come back to get it. Absolutely red flags all over the place. The fact that the story keeps changing is never a good sign, right? I mean, your girlfriend went from, it's probably my ex's, to suddenly this one night stand of her roommate's whipping his socks off and throwing them at you. I mean, what the fuck's that about?

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00] And when, you know, the immediate defensiveness, the hanging up on you, and then coming back with a roommate as backup, it just felt all like, kind of like deflection. But it was about a week later that Opie did come in with an update and says, About a week ago, I posted about finding a male sock in my girlfriend's room while cleaning up, and here's the update. So for this last week, we've gone back and forth about it. The story has changed so many times, but now I finally got the truth. I tried to take everyone's advice and let it go,

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_00] but the whole time while this was going on, I just felt like I was being stabbed in the gut. The situation went from her saying it was her roommate's guy to her saying that I planted the sock there to have an excuse to hate her and be controlling. But two days ago, she told me the truth, and this is what really happened. Before her and I started dating, she told me there were two guys that were friends who used to come over to their place and they would hook up. One guy would be for a roommate, and one would be for her.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00] Her roommate connected with a guy who she used to hook up with, and since he was going, he invited his friend that my girlfriend used to hook up with. My girlfriend claimed that she had no idea that this guy was coming over. Anyways, she said feelings started coming up to her and this guy go to her room, and she told him that she had a boyfriend, but he didn't care. At first, she said they just talked. Then she said they kissed. And then she said he performed oral sex on her, but she stopped him.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't believe one, but I think they had sex because why would he take off his socks? But I guess that doesn't really matter at all. I broke up with her and I pretended not to be around her, but I'm really broken about it. She drunk called me last night asking do I love her, and after I had the heart to hang up, I almost cried. I know like I could just work it out with her, but I have a no cheating policy. I've cheated on people. People have cheated on me, so I know what it's like to be on both sides.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_00] I've watched my dad cheat on my mom growing up, and seeing what it did to our family was bad. The top commenter on this one said to OP, You're really better off. How many lies does it take? Red flags, especially about cheating and making up stories. You're heartbroken now, but in a few weeks you'll realize how much better off you are, and we'll find someone better. OP says, I'd rather her tell me the truth the first time instead of putting me in the spin cycle. I just thought she was so different, but I guess everyone thinks their partner is.

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00] OP replies to a deleted comment and says, I'm 20. The last time I cheated was when I was 15, and I never touched another girl. All I did was sext and get nudes. That's not justification though. The reason I don't cheat now is because that girl I cheated on fucked another guy, and left me for him, and then asked me, How do I fuck another man? I don't know how to because you're the only guy I've ever been with. That's why I don't cheat and never will again. So for all the people saying I'll cheat again, a dickhead saying I need to reassess,

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_00] and once a cheater, always a cheater, never seen growth, especially from childish ways. Yeah, I have a no cheating policy. That applies to whoever I date and myself. I won't allow myself to do it. If I'm that unsatisfied or unhappy, I'll leave. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Did you see this one coming? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00] Now our next story comes from MuesliBar666 from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit, and it says, Am I the Arsehole for not wanting my partner to know about my fandom blog? And we have an update which comes four and a half years later on this one. But the first part says, From 2021. So I've always been a nerd slash in fandoms. Ever since I found out what they were.

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00] Running fan blogs, making edits, writing fan fiction, participating in group chats about whatever fandom I was in. With other fans and blogs. The interests change, but it's something I've always done. It's where I express myself and create content. And it's like my happy place. I, 21 female, have been in and out with my partner, 22 female, for three to four years. And she knows I've always got some sort of special interest or show going.

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_00] But she doesn't know about the blogs or the edits or the fix. It's not her vibe. She's never really been in fandoms or done that kind of stuff before. And thinks it's kind of nerdy and cringey. Overall, just doesn't get it. She asked to see my camera roll in conversation. Not in a controlling way. Promise. And I wasn't comfy with it. So I said no. She asked why. And I said, it's got fandom content on there. And it's embarrassing. She dropped it, but said, it seemed like I was hiding something.

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00] Which I guess I am. And I totally get why she'd be feeling weird. That's not really what I'm confused about. I mainly just don't want her or anybody I know personally to know about this side of my life. It's for me, not anybody else. I just don't see how her knowing would benefit anybody. I'd be embarrassed. She'd be confused and cringing. Must we share everything with our partners? I'm I the asshole for not wanting her to know about my fandom. Blog slash edit slash fan fiction.

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_00] You know, for me, as someone who would consider themselves a geeky person themselves, you know, I like all sorts of random things. I like to rotate through different hobbies, try new things. I just absolutely love it. I was doing crochet, paint and Warhammer. You know, I still cycle between these things. I do arts, quick sketching, play video games. I've recently got back into ice skating as well. Many moons ago, I used to like cosplay and creating costumes and all that kind of stuff.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_00] And I just find it heartbreaking that you're having to hide that part of yourself at the same time. That's your joy. You love it. And it's like a whole creative process. You're making edits. You're on fix. You're connecting with other fans and you're being able to express yourself. You know, you love it. Like you said, that's your happy place. But you feel you can't share it with the person that you've been with for years. I find that a bit rough. I hope you added a comment saying, we're on the topic of how my phone camera is broken and I never take photos.

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_00] But I just have over a million screenshots of stuff as my storage is full. And my partner was like, I want to know what's in there. Like, what does she screenshot? It was a completely innocent way. I got very tense, very fast. The top commenter said to OP on this one, no one's an asshole here. The caveat. It's worth more deeply examining why you don't want her to know, both on your own and with her. This would be a completely different comment if you'd only been with her for a few months.

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00] You've been with her long enough at this point where secret keeping is a little dangerous territory. What are you afraid will happen if you tell her? A lot of people in geek slash nerd culture don't tell people about it because they're afraid of how they'll be treated by people when they find out about this piece of their lives. If she's made comments slash finds it nerdy and cringey, that's a conversation worth having because you are actively hiding something from her and you're more willing to look suspicious than to have her find out about it.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_00] So overall, the post was voted a no one's an asshole here situation. Very rare you see that. But four and a half years later, OP came in with their update. It said,

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_00] I was too young to understand what was happening outside of this feels bad. I know I didn't communicate and often enabled her. I posted on Reddit because I didn't have anyone else to turn to. I was sure all the replies would be, you're the asshole, saying how suspicious it was to hide stuff from her, that I needed to grow up, that what I did was some secret form of cheating I didn't know about.

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00] Every single response I got was some form of, not the asshole, you should examine why you don't want her to know. A good slash compatible partner wouldn't shame you for your interests and I was utterly blown away by the empathy, honesty and kindness shown to me. It hadn't even occurred to me at the time that that was an option, that in this specific situation, neither her or I were the asshole, just two different people heading in different directions. We broke up somewhat amicably shortly after. She hit me with a,

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_00] maybe we shouldn't be together then. And instead of my normal fawning response, I remained silent and let that concept sink in. I knew in that moment we weren't for each other. We broke up. I found a studio hole in the wall for myself and did some serious healing and growing in that moldy but beloved apartment. Four years on, I am more myself than ever. Now happily enjoying a healthy relationship and a beautiful home with someone who feels like my second heart,

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00] who just gets as unnormal about their nerdy interests as I do mine. We also share a few and get into each other's interests from time to time. I showed them some of my edits when we first met and I'll still sometimes tell them about the things going on in one of my fandom discord servers. And they show nothing but interest and support. They've taught me so much more about the importance of being unapologetically yourself and not settling for people who don't accept you for who you are or who want to change you.

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_00] We're truly embodying the sentiment shown to me in those Reddit comments years ago. A good partner is also interested in your life and what you do. You are hopefully the most interesting person to them and they love spending time doing things with you. Thank you to all who commented at the time. Your kind words and advice truly did ripple out the rest of my life and helped me make a big few scary decisions that now has led me down a path better than I could have hoped for. Good karma to you all. Bebobber says to the OP,

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00] I love how never telling what your fandom is. Relevant info. Hope you don't have a Dharma fetish. Corresponds with your fear of capitalization. OP laughs and says, I promise it's not a Dharma fetish. It's mostly DC and a couple of other popular shows and movies. As for the capitalization, I turned off auto caps to be quirky in like 2014 and now I'm too committed to the bit to ever go back. Apologize for the pain it caused. Broad Secret says, From one fandom girl to another.

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_00] This is so great to read. My husband and I have bonded over a mutual love of Star Trek. And while I'm probably, definitely the nerdy one, he knows about my gaming, reading, fanfic, etc. It's so important to be with someone who gets you, as you know. All the best to you. OP says there's no bigger green flag in the world than finding someone you can nerd out about Star Trek with. That's one of the things they got me into. Now we're very into it together. If you haven't already,

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_00] I highly recommend getting you and yours matching uniforms to wear for Halloween's, cons, just for funsies. We opted for the Voyager jumpsuits. They're infinitely fun. I do love a Reddit story that comes back years and years later and reflects on the previous post and how they felt back then to how they've grown as a person now. And taking the advice from Reddit, that's helped them grow. Absolutely amazing. I'm glad that they was able to find someone very much like them

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00] and they're able to bond over the same things as well. I personally think that's just absolutely wonderful and a great way to end this video. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being here. Truly, it's absolutely amazing.

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_00] And hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care and much love.