I'm Going To LEAVE My Husband After He Recorded Me During An Argument r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's up again? I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

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[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And let's crack on with today's first story

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Much love guys

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Now today's first story comes from remarkable Touch 2930 and says

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm I the asshole

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: For leaving after my husband recorded me during an argument

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I 26 female and my husband 28 male have a 1 year old daughter, Mae

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently pregnant with our second child

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I do not think I'm in the wrong

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Like it also tell that this pregnancy is affecting my emotional states

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: To maybe I can't see clearly and it really isn't a big deal

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, my husband has a habit of calling me angry or annoyed when I am not

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Which pisses me off?

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Example my husband sits on the couch watching F1 and I say okay, it's time for me to go take a bath

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to watch the race till the end, it's fine

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But it is pretty late so may and I are going upstairs now

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't angry in the window trying to be passive aggressive

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I was just letting him know that this time we would not wait just a few minutes until the races over

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Immediately hugged our daughter and went

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: See how angry mummy is?

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't worry baby. I will protect you

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Another one day I asked him if he would unload the dishwasher while I folded some laundry

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00]: his reaction

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus why are you so annoyed already?

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: So what happened today is so stupid I can hardly believe it escalated how it did

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to send our robot vacuum into a different room but Mae closed the door

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I said oh you didn't have to close the door

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to guide the vacuum in the right direction but it was too late and

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: went back to the charging station

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I sighed and started looking for my phone while my trayet

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where I put it at this point my husband decided to join in

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Why'd you always get angry with a little things?

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I told him I wasn't angry and does not calling me that when I clearly wasn't

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: It turned into a discussion where he laughed at me and kept repeating that I have to have a positive energy

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_00]: While I started to get angry

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I called him I am tired of him always acting as if I was unstable and telling me to stop yelling at

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Mae when I just firmly stayed to boundary

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I have a hitter and very rarely yell at her

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I played over the example stated above to which he said

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Such an actress I will record you

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And pointed his phone camera at me

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: It was ridiculous and he clearly did it so just to make fun of me

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I left the room while he laughed and talked to Mae about how mummy would rather hide

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: than see how she acts I came back about two minutes later

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_00]: He started as phone in his hand but he does most of the days so I didn't think much of it

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I started cleaning the kitchen or calmly continuing in the discussion

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And I noticed that his phone was in a weird angle so I asked him if he was really recording me

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: He started laughing and confirmed that he was

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: At this point I broke down in tears

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say or do anything I should be ashamed of during his recording

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: But I just felt so humiliated and disrespected

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me that I have no sense of humour to which I replied it wasn't funny

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And left him with Mae to sit in my car for a while

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: He called after me to just calm down and come back

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: He thinks I reacted

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So did I

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00]: So he's baiting you to get a reaction out of you and then recording what I'm doing so

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And also getting your kid involved

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: At the same time absolutely not that's so shit

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: And when he's finally driven you to this point where you're breaking down in tears

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: He's upsetting his pregnant wife like this

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He tells you oh you got out of you got no sense of humour just a joke kind of thing

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And then telling you that you overreacted absolutely you're not overreacting in this situation

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: What awful thing to do

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Bag girl says to this

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Gas lighting at its finest

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: What got me as he's trying to bring your child into this too?

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: He's teaching her that this is okay

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Garden Hacks says your daughter is watching you getting emotionally abused and she thinks it's the norm

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want this for her too?

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: It one says in Tratman

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: It's like he wants to record you being angry so he can share the court how unstable you are

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And try to win custody

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't trust him. It's a piece of shit run as fast and as far away as you can

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: The twisted kitty says not the asshole what he is doing is a form of bullying

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: It is called baiting

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Bating in bullying is where a person does or says things with the intention

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: But making you angry or annoyed the point where you snap or eventually you get really riled up

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: By him stating that you're so angry and annoyed at him or your daughter is actually manipulating you into that state

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: He knows that he can basically train you into that reaction

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't personally stand for this type of behavior

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Recording is the icing on the cake though

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: He's trying to humiliate you over the fact that he successfully made you mad and has now

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Making you feel bad or wrong over it

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, but what the fuck is his motive?

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Would you love it if you'd been doing the same to him?

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Is it okay with it if you try to manipulate control or making feel awful about expressing any emotion?

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course he tops it all off with the classic you can't take a joke, babe line

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Typical davo behavior

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Denying that you're doing anything wrong. It's just the joke

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Attacking you when the behavior is recognized as wrong they're trying to pin it as your fault slash

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be your past behaviors into the situation

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Why'd you always get so angry over little things?

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Finally reverse victim and the offend are by claiming that they're the victim in the situation or in this case

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And it was just a joke and your pinning him is the bad guy having no sense of humor

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: You need to calm down and come back etc

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP comes in with her up there and says holy shit this blew up

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you everyone for your reaction. I tried to go through as many comments as I could

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: This point I cannot respond to anyone individually sorry

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I especially thank people who told me I may actually sound angry without intending to because it's shift in my perspective on the matter a bit

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: What I wrote yesterday is of course biased and was written when it was still raw

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_00]: And parts may have seemed unnatural because English is not my first language so I'm sorry for some weird expressions or bad grammar

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Or try my best to be as unbiased as I can today

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: General backstory skipped to update if you don't want to read that

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: General consensus was that he is emotionally abusive and I believe that he is but not the way he used to be

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been with his man since we were both teenagers and things were great for more than five years

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: After we got married in Eastwich jobs became a completely different person

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: In different ignoring me rolling his eyes whenever I open my mouth and the mining my education and intelligence

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Making constant jokes at my expense and I asked him to stop I was too sensitive and couldn't take a joke

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Ed Bedroom and mocking me whenever I tried to initiate

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I stopped once he outright laughed at me. I tried everything to be the perfect wife but nothing

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00]: ever worked to get his positive attention

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably wouldn't do the damage it did if it wasn't for the lockdown and him being the only person I'd contact with

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I was left with no self esteem and too scared to leave because no one would ever want me

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And I would be left alone without any chance to have a family

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to get him to couple stereotyped but wasn't successful to this day

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: But once I turned my focus from him to myself and started to build myself again things got slowly better

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: He stopped with his jokes slash insults started listening when I speak and started to respect me a bit

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Our daughter was conceived on a vacation where everything seemed back to normal

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: As soon as the severe morning sickness hit he made sure to avoid me

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't know whether I'd be a single mother until I gave birth

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: After both me and me almost died during labor he finally stepped up and has been a great father

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And even a loving husband

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it is basically impossible to discuss anything with him because he's always right and doesn't care about anyone else's opinion

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00]: He still has the urge to joke sometimes

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: But most of the time we get along well. We are friends again having fun together

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I learned to advocate for myself and call him out

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_00]: But day-to-after talking to my husband

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_00]: In my original post I probably made that kind of behavior seem like a daily occurrence

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But it is just something that happens repeatedly over some period of time

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Ever reasonably happy family life apart from that and his a good guy overall

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Always there to help anyone in need smart as hell hardworking and providing for us

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Our marriage is not in a very healthy state but I love him and we are good friends and he's a great father

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So the update in the evening after the event I set my husband down and try to talk to him about what happened

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't very pleasant and I had to stop his movie multiple times because just roll his eyes

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I always come up with some bullshit and turn back to the TV

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't give up and ignored his smurks remarks

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll make things up in my head. I twist his words beyond recognition

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I have no sense of humour

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: When he threw in the casual calm down, I just started laughing

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And asked him if he was serious

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: He got to the point when he finally let this shit go and talk seriously

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him if I truly come across his angry

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_00]: He said I do I try to explain that I have more emotions than happiness and anger and that during the

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll protect you incident. I was just tired by may have seen the blunt

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_00]: He started laughing and then my tiredness showed in a weird way

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked if there is in any way I can help him recognize my emotions better

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: He said I should smile more

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_00]: But I guess this is a lost cause

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Law

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him again about his side of the yesterday story

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I rolled my eyes and sigh all the time and radiate negative energy

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I do not raise my voice but it is about the tone

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I always overreact over little things and start to complain

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I suppose at least slam the door two times yesterday before we said anything

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He wanted to record me to show me the face I make

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_00]: The comments on this

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I get angry sometimes of course

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I have a shitty mood the whole day

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But the point is that I think I'm pretty aware of how I feel on act and I own up to it

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_00]: He surprisingly never points out that I am angry when I am actually angry

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I am the one calling myself out

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: People saying I'm down playing our act are partially right

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't see how me sometimes being angry is connected to being called angry when I'm not

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_00]: But if my husband cannot differentiate between me being neutral and tired in angry

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And the whole thing makes a lot more sense and he must be really thinking that he lives with an

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Insufferable bitch since this pregnancy makes me exhausted

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Not more sense than living my life and hearing our angry I am out of nowhere

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Then we talked about how we spoke about me with May

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00]: According to him that was just a joke and even she could tell because you had a sense of humor unlike me

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I take myself too seriously

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Need to lighten up wouldn't survive a day in his office

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Told my don't care what type of humor goes around in his office

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_00]: He's my husband and he shouldn't want to do things that hurt me

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00]: We stuck on this for a long time and he refused to stop but I told him that this is a deal breaker for me and will not tolerate it

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00]: We touched what would happen if we separated

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him if he had won full custody

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_00]: He said that I've caused he would but he would never separate me from me

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: He would let me have full custody and support me any how he could

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_00]: So no there is no grand scheme to take her from me and make me seem crazy in front of others

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I truly don't believe he made the recording for a different reason and to put it on TV and

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Stop in the moment and made some unappealing face to make fun of me

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Is not an active contributor on social media?

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And there is definitely no putting ideas in the heads of our family or friends

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_00]: His family actually usually scolds him for never being at home with us

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I think they would actually rather take my side. Sorry to disappoint

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00]: As someone in the comments mentioned people tend to be way more boring than red it makes them seem

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Conclusion I'm not going to divorce him at the moment

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for all of you that I concerned about me in May

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_00]: All suddenly read the book many of you recommended and we'll try to educate myself on the topics

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll also try to educate myself on effective communication skills

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I know he is gaslighting me often mainly changing the scenarios of past events

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_00]: But the thing is that it never escalated

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00]: The emotional abuse appeared out of nowhere or years ago and got better month by month since then

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Am I naive hoping for better times? Maybe

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But I know how inferior I felt four years ago how confident I am now

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I can see through his bullshit most of the times

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Like a yesterday was rough but I feel that we're doing completely different outcome today

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyone ever worked through this

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Although I still think that him calling me angry was at least partially intentional

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_00]: We'll try to speak in a more pleasant turn when I'm tired and side less

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_00]: We'll also work on not getting impressed by being called angry

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll stay cautious and if I come to the conclusion we better off alone a will fall for divorce

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_00]: If I sense any kind of danger, we will leave immediately but I doubt that I know we'll be fine either way

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: And the book O.P. was talking about was called why does he do that inside the minds of angry and

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Controlling men by lundy bankroft and as you can probably imagine there was still a huge amount of

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_00]: concern for O.P. in the comments below this saying, you know every word of the update was gaslighting

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00]: It will continue to invalidate your feelings and blame you rather than take responsibility for himself

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comments saying of course you're going to be angry you have the right to be angry when you'll be

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Embolid constantly and of course another concerning question was is your baby

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Your baby's gonna grow up with this kind of thing normalizes that what you want

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And to just suggest into O.P. to seek some therapy to realize that this isn't normal

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Now our next story comes from conscious formal 77723 from the MI at wrong subreddit and says MI wrong

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00]: and not supporting my wives so good pregnancy

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife and I have been married for about three years together for five

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_00]: She has a 16 year old daughter she gave birth to when she was a teen but we both decided we won't have

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Children her and I

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife's best friend asked her to surrogate for him and his husband and she agreed

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm opposed to this but she told me to deal with it

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her fine but don't expect any help from me

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Now she's uncomfortable being pregnant

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: She feels nauseous tired and sore

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I still do the thing I would do if she wasn't pregnant

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_00]: But when she complains about cravings or needing something from the store for a pregnancy

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I tell her to call her best friend

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Her best friend in his husband are calling me an asshole

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00]: But I remind him that this isn't my baby and not my responsibility

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Lanky grounds as on this one I don't see a marriage climbing back from this hole

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Lazing sunflower lands as it's such a huge lack of respect on the part of the wife towards the OP

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_00]: A friend trumped her husband you don't come back from that

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Wish bird was here says she told him to deal with it when he said it's not a good idea

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Now it's her turn to deal with it

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_00]: X mama says

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_00]: That is their baby they should be helping her primarily

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think you're wrong especially since you didn't agree to this pregnancy

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is their responsibility

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Eggbird says whose egg was used to make the embryo

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Hooping not hers

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_00]: That would just take this to a whole different level

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Are they paying her a surrogate fee?

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel sorry for OP

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I would not be surprised if he leaves her over there

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And I really couldn't blame him

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Her ignoring his views is very hurtful

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says no it's not my wife's egg

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It was a donor

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Not sure who but she doesn't have any connections to me or my wife

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_00]: But at least not before this

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I of days later OP comes in with her first update and says hello everyone

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife and I had a talk and agreed on a few things

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_00]: She says she's sorry for making this decision despite my objections

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_00]: We had a lengthy heart to heart about this

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_00]: We agreed that we would go to marriage counseling after the pregnancy is done

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_00]: And she's had some time to recover

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_00]: We also agreed that she should live with her best friend and his husband for the time of the surrogacy

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked to them and they both agreed to it

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Her daughter, my step daughter, said

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want it to stay in our current home?

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't feel comfortable intruding into someone else's home

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_00]: So she's staying with me at our home

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I wife very really apologizes

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to give up on this marriage so I'm willing to work through this

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Beneficial syrup asks OP

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_00]: How far along is she?

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't seem healthy for your marriage, especially if she's in the first trimester

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Months apart while you're in charge of your step daughter

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Why can't you start marriage counseling now virtually?

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: She apologizes but is now running away to be baby by her friends while you're home alone with her daughter

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says how far along is she about six months

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Then quotes again saying months apart while you're in charge of your step daughter and it says

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_00]: We're not not gonna see each other for all those months

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You're primarily staying at our friends to make sure that her and the baby are comfortable

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: We also discussed that her or our friends don't feel comfortable

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: She'll move back in and we'll figure something else out

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Also my step daughter is pretty independent and responsible

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_00]: She's 16 so it's not like I'm taking care of her baby

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And we agreed that my step daughter can see her mum at any time if she needs to

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Lazing sunflower lancer as your wife put her friends ahead of you and ahead of her own daughter

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Just a daughter who needs her but is going to go live with her friends

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for providing stability for her daughter. It must suck to realize your mum doesn't value you very highly

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP came in

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Three months later start an off with

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Geek eighth birth

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Thankfully there were no complications my wife is still recovering

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_00]: But the doctor say both her and the baby are good

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Telling my wife and I decided to do is marriage counseling before she gave birth

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Even though the original plan was to wait till she gave birth

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_00]: We both started to really miss each other while she was with her friends, but we know there was tension between us

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_00]: It took a while for us to find a therapist whom we both felt like he could deal with our unique situation

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We did find someone we both really liked

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked about how we felt and how we'd need to make major decisions together and take the other persons feelings into consideration

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: We're still going to go to more sessions, but we're going to wait until my wife feels better

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: He's back home by the way. My friends have covered all of the legal and medical expenses

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_00]: They also insisted on paying my wife for what she's done for them

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife has promised me that she would ever make a decision like this without me

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently taking care of her

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I know what I said, but I still love my wife and I don't like seeing her so tired

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I think we're in a good place for now

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel frustrated or resentful for my wife has been really sweet

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00]: One last thing, some of you are really trying to hammer in the she had another man's baby

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00]: As if she promised me have my baby

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's in my wife as an incubator

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even want children of my own

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_00]: They make it sound like she cheated on me

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_00]: apprehensive says why I've got what she wanted anyway

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So obviously she can make all the promises she wants

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_00]: But Tee says that's exactly it

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Mighty convenience that she now wants to resolve and move on

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_00]: When she got what she wanted

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: She can claim she's taken the right steps and making a men's when she doesn't really seem she's even sorry for it

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Ok now I promise to be considerate until we disagree again

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Literally the largest issue possible and she went rogue

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I got it honest

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I think I don't think I'd be able to move past that like OPS

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_00]: The fact that she just made that decision without any discussion

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Sure, you know it's her body at Cedra but this is a decision that affects you as a family

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And was affected and you as a family and would continue to do so

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_00]: It felt very much like some of those comments were saying that you know

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: She fucked up but now she can make all the promises because it's over until the next disagreement like that other

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Commence said but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_00]: You'll love your support your time always means you absolutely were all to me

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you so so much for getting involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love