I'm Dealing With The Family In Law From Hell And Wife REFUSES To Cut Contact r/Relationships

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[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: today's first story comes from truth infinite 8073 and says I the asshole here for wanting to leave

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: my fiance due to her abusive family. I've been dating my fiance for four years and have been

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00]: engaged for seven months. We're trying to plan out a wedding for roughly four next year. A childhood

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: was terrible and abusive to put it mildly. A parents were raging narcissists and she was the

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: scapegoat for a two brothers. She was abused and thrown out the moment she turned 18. She was

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00]: however a great student and a hard worker. But with some scholarships in a part-time job, she had a great

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00]: career and is pretty independent. The problem is though, is that she's still in contact with

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: her family. None of them have changed, well actually something has changed, it become more financially

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: dependent on her. They enjoy slowly creeping back into her life and emotionally blackmailing

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: her for support or whatever she can do. They're not pleasant about it either. They're rude,

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: smug and generally enjoy being a nuisance and my fiance can't say no. No matter the horrible things

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: they say or how they outright try and intimidate her openly. I've always known her family history

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: and have always supported her through the issues with them. But in the last year or so,

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: it become far more brazen and ass-enine. If come over to our house more often, they make messes all around

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: the place. A mother acts like she's a fucking stepmother from Cinderella. A dad drinks all my fucking

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: beer and it is half the fridge. A brother stopped by occasionally to act as mouthpieces for their

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: parents. They practically trash the place and leave us to clean the mess. And where is my fiance

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: in all this? Quitely standing in the corner practically shaking. I'm no fool here, there is

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: legit a metroma that's her need to feel loved by them and her hoping they will appreciate her.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Before one of you noble commenters states the obvious, she's been in therapy for this for years.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I've tried to establish boundaries, nearly two years have been trying to push these arseclones away.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_00]: But this is her house she purchased and no matter the contributions of financial or

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00]: otherwise will she let me have a sound who comes into our house. She's been beaten down mentally

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and emotionally by them for so long. She has told me recently that she wants to earn their approval.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Others were right about her, how she needs to be better for them. I've had too many emotional

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: conversations with tears and begging to count. Hope as you will take the steps to get better.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But she's not out. I can't force her to do anything. I love her but I can't help but feel so

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: resentful of what she's doing. It's agonizing, watching someone you love, someone you know deserves

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: so much better, openly destroy themselves for people like her family. It's been painful watching

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: her cry herself to sleep one too many nights because of them. I've tried too many times to help

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: get out of their cultures but I have to think of the future. What happens when we have kids?

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: What happens when she is postpartum and invites them over? What happens if there's a medical

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: emergency for either of us? What if our finances get tied to and they still demand money?

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: This is the in-law family from hell and I won't be able to avoid them. Tomorrow I'm going to

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: tell her how I want to delay the wedding until firm boundaries are established. If she resents

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I walk, I can't do it anymore. I refuse to watch a slow death like this any further.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Update, walk through her and it went about as well as one possibly expected.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Currently getting myself set up in a hotel for a few days and working on possible long-term plans

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: are moving out. Still a lot going on right now but maybe sometime next week I'll be able to put

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: everything together until one update. Now look, I feel for anyone that's gone through trauma and she's

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: clearly gone through trauma like you said yourself but at the same time she needs to help herself.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You can't force someone to get that help. They need to recognize it. It sounds like you've tried

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: time and time again to her to get this help. You're also right to ask those questions about

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: your future if you do have kids, postpartum, medical emergency, your finances get in tight.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: You're right to ask all those questions because this is your future and they will keep on.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I know you said therapy perhaps a different therapist if she isn't improving and it's just so sad

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: and we read a story recently where the OP got themselves out of a basically an abusive

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: family and they was explaining it like it, like it being like a drug and it had good moments where

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: they was treated fairly and then you start to crave that but then the abuse came into it and

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: then it was just like a cycle and it went round and round again. I know OP's already done this

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00]: but I just feel like that one last chance of sitting down with her that face to face talk,

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: just letting it all out saying you know that our relationship will become into an end. I can't

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and say in exactly what you said to here, I can't watch these people destroy you,

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: it's agonising to watch someone that you love so much, destroy themselves for people like that family.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, I know OP's probably done this time and time again but came flushing says not the

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: soul you can't save her, she doesn't want to be saved. Even if she wants to you don't

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: be able to help and support, she needs to be the one to enforce the boundaries and hold them but

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: she doesn't, it's up to you if you want this for life. Have you spoken to her about where you are?

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: You're on the verge of breaking up with her for this lack of boundaries? No it's not to manipulate

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00]: her into choosing you or who's someone will say that, it's just a statement of fact.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: He may be willing to sacrifice everything for a family but you are not. If this is a life you

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: have to look forward to, you don't want it, you need to put yourself and your needs first.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows, may prompt her to open a rise and put herself first with her family, but likely not.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Prairie Girl says not the asshole, she's got all the power in the situation with her abusers

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: but she's been trained from birth that she's helpless before them. If you won't protect

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: her home with you, you have to save yourself. The one Shaka says not the asshole, your problem is

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: not just your horrible in-laws, it's your dearly loved partner. Much as you love her as much as you

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: want to help her, as long as she is locked in a perception that she has to please them. You cannot

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: help her and you should not tie your life to her, not expose your future children to a toxic family.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: God's Girl 64 says not the asshole, I've been a therapist for 35 years, now she is still this

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: fragile and she needs a new therapist. It sounds like as if she's made absolutely no progress on

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: these issues, this will destroy her if she doesn't do something soon. In a wrong to want to

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: distance from these people, you can't force her to get help or do anything else but you need

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: to take care of yourself and you're right about the future. It'd be irresponsible to the point

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: of abuse to bring kids into this relationship and the final comment from Iwana who says not the

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: asshole, she's drowning and she's taking you with her. She needs to stop letting her abusive

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: family hold her down and focus on being able to float. You can't help people who won't help

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_00]: themselves, you can't set yourself on fire to help someone else that's already burning. You're

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_00]: right, this is an absolute toxic environment for starting a family. If you're not saying

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: well, they'll never have access to children but it's highly likely to perpetuate your abuse as she

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: doesn't know any better and refuses to learn otherwise. If she believes what I've found

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_00]: the of Tolda, she'll project those lessons onto her children.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_00]: But OP comes in with her first update and says the night after I made the first post,

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I decided that I was going to have a heart to heart with my fiance about her family.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: However, she came back from work the next day early and I was already off that day so I initiated

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00]: the talk a little sooner than I had planned. Essentially I told her how this arrangement was

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I did not feel comfortable marrying her due to how much involvement in a life of family has.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And I certainly did not feel comfortable bringing a child into this world with them.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to tell her a cold turkey, no contact with them but strict limitations to start

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: with on them coming over and what they can do around the house. I also requested a couple

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: therapy before marriage. She wasn't happy, she was just staring angrily at me and while I spoke

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: and then started yelling at me when I finished. She told me I don't understand their dynamic

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and it worked for her. I told her that there are abusive users who bleed her dry and I've never

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: seen them show any decency to her. She told me she just had to work harder for them to appreciate her.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I basically yelled at her that her parents child shouldn't have the bed and plead and work

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: for them to be loved. I finally told her that she sets limits with them or I walk. She was

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_00]: living in a house I was kicked out. For the past few days I've been staying in a hotel and

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I had my stuff taken out and put into storage. Frankly, it's been great. I'm going to stay with

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: family for a few weeks around mid July and after that I'm going to go house searching for myself.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I spent the last couple of days relaxing catching up on movies and video games I haven't had time

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00]: for and could go back from work to a quiet room without her family tearing the place apart.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday, however, things came to a head. We've had basically no contact since she booted me out.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_00]: But I know every Saturday, her family loved to spend the afternoon over and she uses me as

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_00]: a shield from their abuse. However in a petty move, I simply kept my phone muted all day and played

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00]: disco with silent. I knew she would call back for help, with her family and at this point,

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_00]: she'll resent me when I was kicking him for her and I wouldn't do anything to do with her issues.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00]: By the end of the night, she had sent me over a dozen texts and finally two frantic voice mail's

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_00]: begging me to come home. I decided to come over to check up on her. Long story short,

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: she was sobbing in the living room and when I came to talk to her, she was practically

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_00]: crushing my back hugging me and sobbing. I gave her time to cool off for us what happened.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, her parents and brother came by to give money from her and say horrible shit to her.

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00]: She wanted to have me come over to help but I was ignoring her. When she tried to have one of

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: her friends help out and everyone basically said, fuck that, they'll start clicking in for her.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00]: She kicked a fan of the album but not before they said some utterly vile shit to her

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't repeat. She kept apologizing to me and told me over and over to come home.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her plainly that I'd started to build up every resentment towards a for some time and

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: while I loved her and understand it was trauma and her not being outright abusive.

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00]: There were major issues that would need to be addressed if we were to move forward. One,

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_00]: she sells the house and moves. You make roughly the same amount of money and we will buy a house

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_00]: together. I'm a grown-ass man and we're not living a house I have no equal agency over.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Two, a family will never step foot in it. It will never come over. They will be treated by me

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_00]: in a very threatening manner if they try and come in. Three, do you get some new therapist

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and we start pre-marital counselling? Or, she never makes me interact with her family.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Five will go low contact with her family right now but make no mistake they're working towards

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_00]: full no contact on her end. I told her I love her. You've been together for a while now

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and have beautiful memories together and I know she is suffering from abuse but these are

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_00]: non-negotiable and if she has a problem with any of them you have to go our separate ways.

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_00]: You told me she's realised for a while that our family is toxic and unhealthy and she wants to

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_00]: make changes. She's accepted but some of these will take a while to see through.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm going to stand the hotel until I head back to stay with my family.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She's welcome to come over but I've made it clear that house is not somewhere I want to go.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Her and I are both off tomorrow so we'll spend the day here and maybe go out. This is obviously

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_00]: not over yet but I might not post anything else until mid Augusto so. Cancel does.

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[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_04]: because you always have your best skills. Try the best risks from the fish.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_04]: The future will be released soon.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Ego, Strom, Erld, Gas.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_01]: To me, to us, to Superlässig.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Sachsen, Energy.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Here comes Sachsen and Energy together.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Obstrom or Erdgas, we will bring energy now too.

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Regional and Superlässig, more info and 6 energy.de, Sachsen energy.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_01]: The craft that is now being built.

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Obstrom comes in with their update number 2 and says despite all intentions and not updating

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_00]: until much later, with hopes of an improved relationship with my fiance and her establishing

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00]: boundaries with her toxic family.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_00]: But now broken up.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Essentially what happened was after last weekend, I left her for the time to deal with

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_00]: them herself.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: She seemed to finally grasp the situation and was open to changes, including boundaries

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00]: in a possible move.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_00]: We spent Monday and Tuesday hanging out in my hotel, while staying in until I went back

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_00]: to my family for a couple of weeks.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: The other night she was being vague with text him when she was originally supposed to

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_00]: come over.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00]: She came much later than expected than I knew something was up.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00]: She basically unloaded on me, I was abusive, controlling, overly demanding and unsupportive.

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_00]: It took me 5 fucking seconds to figure out, she was repeating verbatim, some sort of

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_00]: rehearse speech from her parents.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And to be honest, there was so agitated at this point, despite making a huge gamble on

[00:14:50] [SPEAKER_00]: her, I decided to be a prick about it.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked her if her family told us to say this.

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_00]: She said they suggested it to her but she came up with it herself.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Sure, I asked her to explain in detail what I did.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: She said I was living like a parasite offer.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I reminded her that I'm paying 50-50 for her fucking mortgage, 50-50 for utilities and groceries

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_00]: as well.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I've my own car I pay for, a job that makes just about as much as hers.

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Unlike her fucking leech parents who demanded payments on the weekly and raid the kitchen

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00]: on the weekends, I told her to try again with something better.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: She looked flustered and said I was trying to isolate her.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of smirk like a jackass and tolder, I've always supported her many friendships

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_00]: that she has destroyed on her own because no one wants to deal with her family or be used

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_00]: as a shield like me.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I was practically demanding to know at this point why she's so hell bent on destroying

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_00]: her life for these people.

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_00]: She just kind of shouted that I don't understand her family and she's just trying

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00]: to earn their love back, was basically ranting at that point.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just so staggering to see up close.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I've ventured into a few subredits to get perspectives and if you have any familiarity with

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_00]: them, you'll see how people who have victims of abuse by their own family can be so utterly

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: broken by it.

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how to react to that brain to where they truly believe they're the problem

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00]: and they deserve the abuse.

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's how she was.

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_00]: She was utterly broken and didn't want help.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't want to get better, she just wanted to get worse.

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Hit me like a truck honestly, realisation.

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I really did feel like a fool for trying, even if it was what I was supposed to do in

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_00]: the first place.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Just practically berserk at this point and just mentally exhausted and needed her to

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_00]: leave before someone called the police.

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She finally left but had a few concerned neighbours check on me.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_00]: The mother friends are aware as they've messaged me checking on the situation.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I told them the truth that I just needed to be alone to think what to do next right now.

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Ever revealed that she has given them similar rants after they expressed concern for her,

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_00]: one had even heard that she may be possibly at risk of losing her job.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: She's definitely having some sort of mental break.

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_00]: From my understanding, she is now completely isolated.

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She's actually sprinting into a horrible, lonely life right now.

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing I can do for at this point.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: There's selfish as it sounds, I'm just glad it's going to be behind me.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And we have one more update in a moment but it's absolutely heartbreaking.

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Like OP says, watching someone destroy yourself, go downwards like that.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00]: But I still agree with all the comments that OP just needs to help themselves in the

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00]: situation that OP's tried time and time again but is making no progress.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_00]: As soon as she goes back home, a family or twist it back onto OP.

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And I kind of wonder if it's the same situation with the therapist,

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00]: why she seems to be making no progress there either?

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: That she goes to therapy comes back, family twist it to suit whatever narrative they have

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and then she's back at square one trying to earn whatever she can from them.

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And I kind of imagine what OP's thinking will have to deal with all this at the same time,

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_00]: watching someone that you love or loved go through that.

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_00]: But OP comes in with update 3 and says things have kind of wrapped up but there was some

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_00]: loose ends. I completely forgot to change my mailing address which I should have done,

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_00]: ASAP. There are a couple of important things that got sent to our house.

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I had to go and pick them up plus a final couple of items. I want for my move that I left there

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and decided I wanted to actually take. She's been difficult and not responding to messages

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: in regards to them so I have to get them from her myself.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I brought a mutual friend just in case. Thankfully she was at least cooperative and let

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00]: me get my stuff and it wasn't much of an issue. Everything else was though.

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00]: She had a lot of nasty things to say. Telling me she was already sleeping around,

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_00]: telling me how happy she was that I was gone, telling me she's finally free of me.

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_00]: How is she going to be so much better off without me? A lot of generic insults and horrible

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_00]: things you would commonly expect from a nasty breakup. And you know what? It was so fucking obvious

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: it was a rehearse script from my family and you could easily see how miserable she was.

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_00]: She looked like a mess but she hadn't slept in days.

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_00]: House was a mess. She wasn't even yelling at it. She sounded so exhausted and broken when she said it.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't even smile when she said anything. Just a face contorted in hate and anger.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_00]: She was not the woman I knew anymore. Her person was gone.

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00]: When I was getting ready to leave, she was still going on. What's fed up and told us

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_00]: something along the lines of. Congratulations, your friends are gone. With human shields are gone.

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Your engagement is over. Your support is gone. Anyone who treated you like a decent human being

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_00]: is gone. It's just you and your family. I hope you're happy while they bleed you dry.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: It probably didn't go like that but something like it. She just stood there.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Literally just stood there and looked at me within difference and walked away as I walked out

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: the door. As we were leaving the mutual friend Tiffany asked if I was okay.

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I reassured her I was and I'm just trying to get myself set up to go home next week.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Just a confirmed that you heard my ex did lose her job for not showing up for several days

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_00]: and basically go to them. They're going to try to do an intervention next week

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and asked if I could participate. But I'm not delaying my travel because frankly,

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I just want to clean break. I know for a fact that I stay involved in

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm only going to be witnessing the slow descent, either a full break or a suicide.

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I just can't do that. Despite all there is so much that excited for the future

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: and I've realised that I ignored way too many red flags at the beginning.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Even with everything that happened, I know I'll be doing good and I'm going to be all right.

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I expect this to be my final update. I'm still in town until Sunday afternoon so

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: something could happen while I'm still here. If anything does, it won't be exciting.

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Now all I can really say on the back of that one is I'm glad that OP did get themselves at that

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_00]: situation. It truly feels like OP said it's going to be rock bottom before anything potentially

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_00]: changes and that's fucking sad. And sad for OP that is at the watch of love one like that

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_00]: go through all this and treat OP the way he's been treated at the same time.

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not excusing any of the behaviour what she did.

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_00]: The way she's treated OP the way through this is absolutely disgusting. And OP is absolutely

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_00]: right to take themselves out of that situation clean, break and just not be a part of it anymore.

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, I hope she does somewhere along the line. Something, this intervention,

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00]: something somewhere gives her the realisation about what her family is truly like because

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_00]: she simply needs to get herself at that situation. Like all the comments are saying,

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_00]: she's spiraling at a control because of these people and they don't care. They get money from

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_00]: her. You know they're reading their food, treating her like shit at the same time, being abusive

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_00]: towards her and she needs to be at that situation as well. Again, no excuse for any of the behaviour

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: that she's shown towards OP in this story. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_00]: do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting them involved. And today's story

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_00]: you'll love your support your time. Always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_00]: for being involved and hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care.