If I Don't Marry My Fiance His Grandma Will Remove Him From Her Will r/Relationships

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[00:01:21] As I was also here for breaking up with my fiance and he ends up getting cut out of his

[00:01:26] grandma's will. A little backstory is that my fiance and I have known each other since we're

[00:01:32] in elementary school and grew up with each other. We both come from religious families.

[00:01:38] This is important for later. When we graduated high school, I chose to go to college

[00:01:43] and he went to the military. At that point we were dating for two years and then we got engaged

[00:01:47] when I was 21 and he 22. So a year ago we were doing long distances because he was stationed in

[00:01:54] a different state. The plan was that I was going to graduate college and then go down there

[00:01:59] and find a job where he is stationed. A couple of months ago, I got a call from a friend who lives

[00:02:04] down there and he told me that my fiance is dating another girl and has been for months now.

[00:02:10] He sent me pictures and her social media. My fiance was coming home for a couple of weeks

[00:02:15] for my graduation. I thought it would be a good time to talk this out rather than over the phone.

[00:02:20] When he came back, I sat him down and asked. He did not deny it and said he likes her but loves me.

[00:02:27] I'm heartbroken. We've been together for years now and he did this.

[00:02:32] I called off the engagement and broke up with him. Now here is where the religion comes in.

[00:02:38] I was raised where I didn't have sex before marriage and he was the same. I know some people

[00:02:42] think this is weird. It's just how I was raised. We had this talk when we got together about not

[00:02:48] having sex before marriage and we both agreed to wait but he decided when he was down there,

[00:02:53] he would get his girlfriend to take care of his needs. After we broke up by talking to my parents

[00:02:58] about it and the change of plans, then I called his family and talked to them. It's not unusual

[00:03:04] for me to talk to his family because I help his sister, 16 female, if she has a problem or just

[00:03:09] needs a girl to talk to, that is not her parents or friend of hers.

[00:03:14] So I called and they invited me to dinner. I went and told them what happened because he did not.

[00:03:20] He just said we're having a fight. The grandma was there and she was pissed. I used to go over

[00:03:25] every week to play Magiong with her because I love to play and no one else in her family likes to.

[00:03:31] She kept begging me to take back her grandson and that she was forcing him to make up with me.

[00:03:35] I didn't put too much thought into it because she was mad. A couple of days later he was blowing

[00:03:40] up my phone with calls and messages. His grandma was cutting him out of the will unless he gets back

[00:03:45] together with me and we get married. I told him no because he hurt me and nothing you can say will make

[00:03:52] me take him back. No, I will not be doing that. His family is really well off and has a very

[00:03:58] successful business though when his grandma dies he's supposed to take over but if he is cut out

[00:04:04] he cannot and he will get nothing. He even tried to pay me to marry him.

[00:04:09] I was talking to some of my friends and they hang out with our soul and she forgive him and get

[00:04:14] married to him just so he'll be back in the will because I am just mad now and this will ruin his

[00:04:20] life and think about him and his future. So many of my friends are saying this, I'm starting

[00:04:27] to think about it. What do you think? Am I the asshole here?

[00:04:32] Now first off I'll be sidelining those friends that telling you to do that. This is a simple case

[00:04:36] of fuck around and find out in my opinion. What kind of logic is that from your friends?

[00:04:42] That you should just forgive them and move on that you cheated would they do the same?

[00:04:48] They're saying that you're just mad and you're going to ruin his life but what about your life?

[00:04:52] You're meant to marry this person who's cheated on you and what's that going to do to your life?

[00:04:57] There is just no consideration for what you're going through in this which is really disturbing.

[00:05:02] But healthy currency says marrying him will ruin your life. You compromise on your values just

[00:05:07] for him to do it again and probably again so not the asshole. You can never trust him again.

[00:05:13] Up dog says not the asshole at all. Girl you need better friends. Reddit is proud of you

[00:05:18] if having a backbone. If your ex is so desperate to get back in the will he needs to make amends

[00:05:23] to his family and leave you alone. I strongly recommend that you find yourself a job somewhere

[00:05:28] away from your hometown and your crappy friends. You're just starting your adult life.

[00:05:33] Seize the day and kick ass. Blanket statement says not the asshole. If you had asked his grandmother

[00:05:39] to cut him out that would have made you the asshole but you didn't she cut him out because she

[00:05:44] was upset at him for doing this. And also the line of thinking may not be I want to punish him

[00:05:49] for doing this as much as her not wanting to entrust the family business to someone who does not

[00:05:54] have good morals or self control. Marry says not the asshole he made his bed and now he gets to

[00:06:00] line it. The grandmother made her own choices too. None of this is on you. You were honest to people

[00:06:06] you considered family. He knew what he was doing and he knew how his family would feel about it.

[00:06:12] He lied by a mission to them. Truly wash your hands of this because marrying him now would just

[00:06:18] seem like marrying him for his money, which is grimy in its own right. So Opie comes back into the

[00:06:25] post with an update and says so first I talked to his grandma. I told her I would not be marrying

[00:06:30] her grandson. I did not feel comfortable without being a requirement for him to get back in the will.

[00:06:36] I also told her I would be available to play Magiong with her because I enjoy playing with her

[00:06:40] and I will not be coming over when he is there. She was good with that arrangement.

[00:06:45] When we were talking she told me that just because he cheated was not the only reason he got cut out

[00:06:50] of the will. She said she was sorry for telling him that but even if he did end up marrying me,

[00:06:55] he would still not be in the will instead I would. She was telling me that this was the last straw

[00:07:02] to ask why he got cut out. He did a lot of other stuff before just I didn't know about it

[00:07:07] but her and the rest of the family did. I was talking about it and I asked why. Why did I not

[00:07:12] know this when I was with him? Apparently they thought I knew. She did tell me that there was a

[00:07:18] wave in him to get back in the will without him marrying me. It will take a long time and even then

[00:07:24] it will not be the same. We finished up our talk and then scheduled some time to play.

[00:07:29] I know some people would say I should cut ties with the family but I have known them so long

[00:07:33] I consider them my family. I actually enjoy playing with a grandma and being there for a sister.

[00:07:39] Next what happened was I talked to my so-called friends. I have some friends who supported me from

[00:07:44] the beginning. For the ones that called me the arsehole, I asked them why they said all their stuff

[00:07:49] or one of them thought that if I married him would help her pay off her college loans.

[00:07:54] Then a couple of others apparently my ex talked to them. Apparently they were promised a spot in

[00:07:59] the company for their boyfriends when he took over. If I didn't marry him that was not going to

[00:08:04] happen. So I boiled down to greed. I told them they were not true friends of mine and they were

[00:08:11] just using me for their own gain. They did not care about me and my feelings and I never want

[00:08:15] to talk to them again. If they wanted me to marry him so bad they should just marry him themselves.

[00:08:21] At this point I was just mad and I ended up yelling at them. I left and blocked all their numbers

[00:08:26] and blocked them on all social media platforms I have. Thank you everyone who was telling me to

[00:08:31] drop them as friends. I ended up doing just that. One of the only bright sides to this was I got

[00:08:37] to see who my real friends were. Now it's time to talk to my ex. He called me asking to meet her for

[00:08:43] lunch. I decided to go because I figured at least I could get a free meal out of it and get

[00:08:48] some closure for the relationship. He let me choose the place. I chose a little restaurant that

[00:08:54] one of my good friends works there and I know if I need to they will help me out.

[00:08:58] Lunch came and he was talking to me about the will and getting married.

[00:09:02] He was asking if we could get married and have an open relationship and he wouldn't care

[00:09:06] if I slept with someone else. I told him no. He did not know I talked with grandma before

[00:09:12] and that I knew what had also happened. I laid into him and told him that is not what I believe in

[00:09:17] and that he broke my trust and my heart and that he was not treating me like a human being.

[00:09:22] I was about to leave without eating my food but my friend packaged my lunch up,

[00:09:26] gave it to me and let me leave. When he tried following me to continue talking,

[00:09:31] even though I was done my friend ended up blocking his path so he could not. When I left he kept

[00:09:36] on calling me. I blocked him. Before I blocked him I told him to never talk to me again and I am

[00:09:41] done with him. I planned to finish my degree and maybe go traveling and leave town for a little bit

[00:09:46] and maybe in a few years I will find someone better. I'll also take this time to think about my religion

[00:09:52] like how a lot of people were saying to do and figuring out what my next step is.

[00:09:57] Thank you everyone for your advice. I don't know if this is how you saw it going or not. A lot

[00:10:02] has happened in such a short amount of time. I will update you if anything else happens.

[00:10:07] I hope not. So everyone and myself because I was looking through the comments after was like

[00:10:12] what was grandma pissed off about, what was the other things? I hope he says people wanted to know.

[00:10:17] He did some drugs, weed, mushrooms before he went to the military and he smoked a lot.

[00:10:22] He was one of the kids who got in trouble in my school for drinking alcohol during lunch.

[00:10:27] And there was a lot of people saying just disconnect yourself from that family but I think I can

[00:10:32] get OP still wanting to be in touch with them because she lay down her boundaries and she won't

[00:10:37] go around there if he's around there but she still wants to be a part of them because she does

[00:10:42] consider them family. I can totally get there but how about you? What would you do in that situation?

[00:10:46] Would you completely separate yourself from it or not? Let us know your thoughts down

[00:10:51] in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

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[00:11:49] the latest episodes without the ads. Our next story does have an update as well from the

[00:11:57] relationship advice server it from p-man27 who says, my girlfriend received flowers from her ex

[00:12:03] on her birthday and will not get rid of them. Hey all, the last few days have been rough

[00:12:09] on my relationship so I was looking for some neutral opinions on the situation.

[00:12:14] The situation goes as follows. I-22 male was on the phone with my girlfriend 24

[00:12:19] females the evening before a birthday at around 12.30am on the morning of her birthday. She received

[00:12:26] flowers, not from me or specifically told by her not to get her flowers on her birthday after which

[00:12:32] she brought them in. Asked if I was still on the phone and said she was going to bed. When I asked

[00:12:37] who they were from she said she hadn't read the card yet. Later that day when we were talking

[00:12:43] I brought up how this made me feel uncomfortable. She went into how I do not trust her and

[00:12:47] how that is not okay. Under question of if she kept the flowers came up she mentioned she did

[00:12:52] and has them in a vase. And we'll absolutely not be getting rid of them. What should I do about this?

[00:13:00] Edit for clarity. I did not ask her to throw them out. Her reply was in response to me asking

[00:13:05] if she kept them. The ex did deliver them. Exana have had some contact but I am only told

[00:13:12] about work related things. Edit too. Her clarity. To my understanding the extra of them off but

[00:13:18] it was not present when she opened the door and saw them. Adjustification for not knowing who they

[00:13:23] were from was that the note was signed with the initials of her name he used to be called.

[00:13:28] By a sister's friend, example, HF. After bringing it up she ended the conversation with

[00:13:33] summing to the extent I want tomorrow to be about me so if you can't do that,

[00:13:37] that's wait to talk until the weekend. Ultimately I decided to put it on hold and let her

[00:13:42] birthday pass and then deal with it. I sent her a very lengthy and sweet birthday message

[00:13:48] around 5-6 lines on iMessage 2 which I received a simple thank you.

[00:13:53] After she replied I gave her a call offering to grab her something from her favorite breakfast spot

[00:13:57] and I was told she didn't want it and that she was going to go back to sleep.

[00:14:01] After this I felt like she did not want to interact with me that day but I did not push any further.

[00:14:06] Later she texted me quite upset that I had not made any effort for her that day.

[00:14:11] Later at night we had a facetime and I wanted to listen to why she felt the way she did.

[00:14:16] I apologise for the way things turned out and I tend to explain what I did what I did.

[00:14:21] Today I received a lengthy chain of texts saying how she was talking to a sister and she

[00:14:26] thinks I'm trying to manipulate her and basically explain how she felt like I tried to blame her

[00:14:31] for the way things turned out. I don't want this to be the case. I don't want it to feel like I'm

[00:14:36] blaming her for anything but I tried to talk about why I felt the way I did. I've apologise

[00:14:42] and acknowledged that I misinterpretated her desires even aside from the flower thing.

[00:14:47] What are some ways to talk to people about your feelings about it making it seem like you're

[00:14:51] blaming them? I also try to take her out in the evening but she did not want to do

[00:14:56] and rather decided to have a discussion about things which is why the flowers got brought back up.

[00:15:02] Edit 3, we're going to have a talk tomorrow, we'll update after. Thank you everyone for the

[00:15:07] replies they've been very helpful. Now there's a comment that explained my thoughts better than I could

[00:15:15] from feedback altruistic96 who says so the ex delivered the flowers personally

[00:15:20] because that's the way she's getting flowers delivered at that time. She gets back on the phone

[00:15:24] and asks you if you're still there and she says she's going to bed. So the ex stayed the night.

[00:15:30] Now she's gaslighting you about your concerns when she's doing some sketchy stuff.

[00:15:35] Pick a good time and surprise her with a question, but did he spend the night after dropping the flowers

[00:15:39] off because you got off the phone real quick? A lot of people were going down that path so visible

[00:15:45] campaign said I'm assuming the ex hand delivered them as deliveries don't occur at 12.30am

[00:15:51] then she just went to bed. Seemed shady, I wonder if he spent the night. Also why would she

[00:15:57] specifically tell you not to buy flowers? I don't know but I do know I don't like it.

[00:16:03] Proceed with caution. And one more comment from Bill2550 says if she got flowers at 12.30am

[00:16:12] then her ex delivered them. If she is keeping them despite you being uncomfortable with them

[00:16:17] it's time to make her your ex. Think about it, she let the ex in at 12.30am with flowers and

[00:16:23] then told you she was going to bed. The next day she immediately gets defensive with the you don't

[00:16:28] trust me line and she will keep the flowers. Yeah do nothing and we'll see your posting a few weeks

[00:16:34] about how your girlfriend went back to her ex after spending her birthday with him. It's a lot

[00:16:39] harder to be walked on when you were standing up so first update says we had our talk and I ended

[00:16:47] I approached the breakup from the perspective of not being compatible with our methods of communication

[00:16:52] I wanted to keep it as civil as possible as we are part of some small circles in terms of career

[00:16:57] and friends. And so I'd like to maintain a solid perception. At some point she tried to take it

[00:17:02] into direction of an argument however I just made it very clear that was not here to argue or

[00:17:07] work anything out and I felt like we would not be able to handle disagreements well in the future

[00:17:13] so it was best to call things off. I appreciate all the comments and replies. I felt the way many

[00:17:18] of you had iterated, manipulated, gaslit, emotionally invalidated etc but I tried my best to

[00:17:25] non-biased the updates with those emotions to try and get as neutral as opinions as possible.

[00:17:30] Honestly right now I just feel relieved which I think is very telling.

[00:17:35] Opie then gives an additional update which says I did not include this in the original post because

[00:17:40] I was so emotionally drained at that point and did not feel like typing it out again.

[00:17:44] I told other close friends over text but I think nothing really sealed it beyond belief was how she

[00:17:50] responded to my last attempt to try and make things better. On the day she spoke to a sister

[00:17:55] I responded to the manipulation text with something to the extent of

[00:17:59] I see you and I hear what you are saying. I had no intention of making you feel that way

[00:18:03] and I'm sorry that I did. Which she responded that she's sorry that I did too and that she was going

[00:18:09] to go nap. Later that day I texted to ask if she was free and after three hours I basically got a

[00:18:14] no but I could drop some stuff off. At this point I had been running out while she was not responding

[00:18:20] in gathering all of her favourite foods and treats along with writing a card. After I gave it to her

[00:18:25] I went back and text things along the lines. If you want the pastries please take them back.

[00:18:31] I'm so confused was this supposed to make anything better? You hardly looked at me.

[00:18:36] At this point I was pretty much done and replied with something like,

[00:18:40] I know I'm not perfect but I'm not going to be told I am not trying when I am.

[00:18:44] And when I try to do something I can't have it but only the things I did wrong are acknowledged.

[00:18:50] At this point she finally made some attempt to be understanding saying thank you for the gifts

[00:18:54] and that she didn't say I wasn't trying to make it seem like I only got that response because

[00:18:59] it seemed like I was finally done. In any case it is over now and time to move on.

[00:19:04] I don't think she physically cheated as many in the comments do. However at this point I do not

[00:19:09] care. What I hope is that I better know what to look for next time and find someone that works

[00:19:14] better for me personally. Thank you to everyone for the advice and for listening to me and my

[00:19:19] problems. I hope everyone here has a wonderful day.

[00:19:24] An absolutely best off out of that relationship in my opinion. She was gaslighting you a lot of

[00:19:29] the way through it and nobody deserves that but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us

[00:19:36] know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's have one more story from the M.I. The

[00:19:40] Arsals subreddit. And this story is from Tiny Pen 2289. It doesn't have an update yet but

[00:19:48] it's titled M.I. The Arsals for Canceling Hour Anniversary Trip because my husband drowned

[00:19:54] in a terrible accident. I, 29 female, traveled across the country to visit a company regarding an

[00:20:00] incredible job offer. I spent two days touring the company to decide if it would be the right fit

[00:20:05] for me after years of self-employment. After meeting with a company I visited my sister 32 female

[00:20:12] and a family a few towns over. We barely get to see each other because of work and distance

[00:20:17] so it was wonderful to spend a few days with her. A family and her new baby.

[00:20:23] I was gone for a total of 8 days. When I returned home I was excited to spend time with my husband

[00:20:29] 33 male and tell him about the trip, my visit with my sister, my impression of the city etc.

[00:20:35] Who meant to be celebrating our anniversary and decided to put off the discussion

[00:20:39] about whether or not I should accept the job offer until after our anniversary get away.

[00:20:44] I had a range for us to go on a luxury train ride because he's a big train enthusiast

[00:20:49] and we were meant to leave for the trip 3 days after I got home. This is when the problem started.

[00:20:54] I have a very large closed bioactive terrarium which I made with my mother 15 years ago.

[00:21:00] It's one of my favourite things I have from her before she passed.

[00:21:04] This terrarium is my pride and joy and has come with me everywhere since we planted it.

[00:21:10] It was always super healthy and beautiful and I've only ever had to open it four times, do

[00:21:15] a little maintenance and watering. I husband knows all of this which is why I didn't understand

[00:21:21] why he decided to tamper with it in my absence. I didn't notice the night I got home because

[00:21:26] I was exhausted but the next morning I went to check on the terrarium to find it in a terrible state.

[00:21:32] The roots were rotting and the plants dying and molding. He told me that the day I left it,

[00:21:37] he poured a few cups of water into the vessel and sealed it again.

[00:21:41] I was so mad and cried that it turned into a huge argument because it's just a plant.

[00:21:46] And all you do is look at it anyway. He called me ungrateful and over dramatic

[00:21:52] and I should appreciate that his intention was to help me.

[00:21:55] And that he didn't ask because he didn't want to bother me on my trip.

[00:21:59] I ended up canceling our anniversary plans partly because I was so upset that I didn't want to go

[00:22:05] and partly because I wanted to try and salvage the plants and that would require time.

[00:22:10] He hit the roof when I told him and is now sleeping in a separate room and refusing to speak to me

[00:22:15] because according to him, I'm being petty and trying to destroy our marriage.

[00:22:20] Am I being oversensitive about my plans? My friends are pretty evenly split and have pointed out

[00:22:25] that he was just trying to be thoughtful or the misguided it was.

[00:22:30] Now I know nothing about terrarium so I'm just going with the information that I've got here

[00:22:35] that you had this for 15 years and you've only had to open it four times since owning it

[00:22:41] and he decided on this time he's going to put a couple of cups of water in it

[00:22:46] if it was water. Which I found suspicious in itself that he never contacted you,

[00:22:51] you know, was worried about it and should get in touch with you anyway.

[00:22:55] You know, your phone call away but even after all that, let's just come up with a situation

[00:23:00] that was a big mistake whatever and you know, that you were so upset and you was cried about it and

[00:23:07] instead of you know, apologising for his mistake etc. etc. He told you it's just a plant and all

[00:23:14] you do is look at it anyway and called you ungrateful and over dramatic. It says everything that you

[00:23:20] need to know really but let's check out some comments to see what they say so. Death and taxes says

[00:23:28] not the arsehole and I doubt your husband was trying to help. But let's live you've only

[00:23:33] opened it a few times and he knows it doesn't get watered that often. Secondly, he knows how much

[00:23:37] it means to you so you should know you would have taken care of it before you went or would have left

[00:23:42] very detailed instructions. Also how big is it? But a few cups of water been weighed too much even

[00:23:48] if it was just helpful. See, you just look at it comment it's also so strange. It's what everyone

[00:23:54] does with their plants. Opie says I've literally never had to open it or water it in the time we've

[00:23:59] been together and even when I did water it in the past, it's never required more than a few

[00:24:03] tablespoons of water. I've talked about it before but he clearly forgot. What even is a user

[00:24:10] apply says and he didn't forget he maliciously killed something you love not the arsehole. Only

[00:24:16] ingenuity says is your taking this job going to necessitate a move that he's unhappy about or

[00:24:22] changed the balance of who the primary red one is. This seems like a tantrum followed by gas

[00:24:27] lighting, not the arsehole. Edit is feeling jealous and amassulated though he will never admit that.

[00:24:34] He sees you advance in further out of his league and let's get people or worse you will start questioning

[00:24:39] why you are with him. He's also feeding his ego by gaslighting you into believing you need to

[00:24:44] grovel to be with him. Opie says I'm already the primary red winner so I didn't think that's it.

[00:24:49] I mean a lot more income for the family though which is a good thing for both of us.

[00:24:54] Yes it would be moving but I wouldn't take the job if he's not comfortable with it

[00:24:58] and lady Taruki says not the arsehole it's not just any terrarium it's a living memory of your

[00:25:04] mother you should have known how much it meant to you and to at least send you a message about it

[00:25:09] before taking such a risk. It's not like you were trekking in the Himalayas you were perfectly

[00:25:15] in reach even as you were busy. And then quote all you do is look at it anyway and then says

[00:25:20] I did have it made more sense in context but what a weird bad weird thing to say.

[00:25:25] Now what do you guys make of this situation? What do you think is going on?

[00:25:31] I certainly keep an eye out for an update on that one because I don't think it's going to end well

[00:25:35] but let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:25:38] Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:25:41] your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much

[00:25:46] for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love

[00:26:11] you

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