I YELLED This Is "Messed" Up When My Niece Announced Her Engagement r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from alternative site 1468 and it's titled, Am I the arsehole here for how I reacted when my niece announced she was engaged?

[00:00:27] I, 33 male, have a pretty big age difference with my brother, 44 male. He had a child at 25, which means I became an uncle at 14. Because we were pretty close in age, I formed a special bond with my niece, Ella, now 18 female. When she was 16, my brother and his family moved away, so I've been seeing them less recently. But we keep in touch and catch up at family events. Last year, at Christmas, my niece told me she had a boyfriend and told me a bit about him.

[00:00:57] But I didn't know the guy. He was invited for Easter and a couple of other events, but was never able to make it. When we were planning our mother's birthday, my brother decided to invite Ella's boyfriend so that we could all meet him. Yesterday was the birthday. I was looking forward to meeting Mark, Ella's boyfriend, but was very confused when I saw her walk in with a man that looked double her age. Spoiler alert, he is.

[00:01:23] She introduced him to me, and I politely smiled, but was deep down very concerned. I went to my brother to ask how old Mark was, and he told me that Mark is 36, so literally double Ella's age. She told me that he was a bit older, but I assumed like early to mid-twenties, not almost 40. That's when they caught us in the living room to share exciting news. Ella showed us a ring and revealed that they were engaged.

[00:01:49] I just said, what the fuck? And everyone turned around and looked at me like I was crazy. I told them that they were out of their minds if they thought this was normal, and that there was no world in which a 30-something should date an 18-year-old, and that she shouldn't be getting married. All of them accused me of ruining Ella's happiness. Some even said I was jealous of Mark, which is so fucking disgusting I can't even explain it. I mean, I'm younger than Mark, but never in a million years would I ever consider dating someone younger than 25.

[00:02:19] They told me that it was perfectly legal as they were both adults, which isn't true because they'd been dating for a year, and Ella turned 18 7 months ago, and that if they are happy, that's all that matters. I told them they were sick for allowing this, and that he was a predator, but they wouldn't listen. I know this isn't my business, but I can't help but fear for Ella. She's young and doesn't really know what she's getting into. I'm really scared of her getting married and being unable to leave him when she realizes how sick it was.

[00:02:48] I then left and slammed the door, and I've been receiving pretty wild messages and calls since then. I don't know if I was wrong for this, and I'm just overreacting. And if I wasn't wrong, I don't know what I can do to make them realize how wrong it is. Am I the arsehole here? So someone asked OP, do you know anything about his background? To which OP said, I quickly went over his Facebook account, so it's not really verified info. But I saw pictures of him with his ex, I think, and she looked 20 to 24 maybe.

[00:03:18] It's still better, but if a guy has a thing for younger girls, that's even more wrong. And it seems like he was still with his ex when he started dating my niece, so even weirder. Someone asked how the niece met the boyfriend, and OP says, through sports apparently. My niece does tennis, and so does he. In the same club, and they met during a tournament. At least that's what she told me, the first time she told me she had a boyfriend. Someone says, was the boyfriend Ella's coach when they met? OP said, no, I don't think so.

[00:03:46] From what I understood, Ella was in a tournament in her club, and she played against adults. She played against Mark, and after he came to talk to her. So they talked, and that was basically it. So the first update to this post says, If you didn't see my previous post, here's a TLDR. My niece is 18, and getting married with a man who's 36. They started dating when she was 17. When she announced she was engaged, I said that it was wrong, and that he was so much older than her. But everyone else found it okay. So, I've taken the past 24 hours to really reflect on all of this.

[00:04:15] I tried to take in most of the advice in the comments, and here's what I've decided. I don't think that me telling her and everyone that the relationship is weird was wrong. I do however think that I did it wrong, and it was pretty harsh because it was in the heat of the moment. But I still find this very creepy, and don't think she should get married.

[00:05:01] What I've decided to do is, 3. Explain myself to my brother. I sent him a text saying that I was sorry for the way I said it, but I still thought that it needed to be said. I explained to him why I think Mark is a predator, and this relationship could have a very negative and damaging impact on Ella. I'm still waiting on their replies. I'll update when they reply, or when I see Ella, if she accepts, depending on how long it would take.

[00:05:25] In the meantime, I really want to thank everyone who gave me advice and was constructive, and really tried to help my niece out of this situation. I also sent my best to all the people in the comments sharing similar stories when they were the teenager getting groomed. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I really hope you're doing better now. So, some of the comments were saying to OP that you should be there for your niece if any further concerns or worries about her relationship with her boyfriend. And OP says, If she doesn't want to talk about it, then fine. It's her choice.

[00:05:53] But the least I can do is ask her if she'd want to. You don't just let it go when it's predators we're talking about. Do you know how trapped she can be for years if she goes through with it? The least I can do is try my best to let her know that it's weird before she makes such a commitment. And if she doesn't want to hear it, then fine. But no one should just let it go when it comes to these things. Yeah, I'd definitely let her know that I'm always there, and be ready to help her get out of the relationship when it all goes wrong.

[00:06:20] But I think it's also important to try and talk her out of it. It might not succeed, but if there's even the slightest chance that it might, then it's worth trying. I'd rather she gets out of the relationship now than in three years when she's traumatized by this guy. OP comes in with another update and says, Just following my text, see last post, Ella replied and told me she agreed to meet with me and talk. I just came back from seeing her. Here's how it went. She asked me what I wanted to tell her, and then I started explaining that I didn't think her relationship was very healthy,

[00:06:50] and that no older guy should want to date a teenager. I told her she was an incredible woman, so I wasn't saying it was weird that someone would want to marry her, but that guys my age normally shouldn't even look at a teenager. She wasn't convinced and said that sometimes it's true, but sometimes it's okay. I asked her how would she feel if I told her that someone born today could be her future partner, and she said it felt really weird. I also asked her if she would consider dating someone younger than 15, and she said no.

[00:07:19] I could see her starting to realize that Mark maybe didn't have the best intentions. I also asked her about his previous relationship, and she said vaguely and just told me the girl's name. I asked her if she knew how old the girl was, and she said she was 21. I also asked her if she knew that their relationships overlapped, and she said that Mark always told her he was single since they met. But she kind of felt like that wasn't true. I told her that since his previous girlfriend was also significantly younger,

[00:07:48] it seemed like he had a thing for younger girls, which is kind of weird. After discussing that, she told me a bit more about their relationship. She told me she was starting to feel weird about it because of Mark's recent behavior. I asked what she meant, and she said that he'd been flirting with a lot of girls, who were all also younger, including some of Ella's friends. When she confronted him, he sort of gaslit her into thinking it wasn't flirting. He was also making a lot of comments about having children with Ella,

[00:08:15] and how cute it would be to see her raise them. She told me she was absolutely not ready for that, and also wanted to go to college and work and not be a stay-at-home mom. Because of all of that, she was doubting her relationship, and I told her that I understood. She said she was scared of breaking up with him because he'd become her whole life recently, and she didn't know what she would do without him. I told her that she was surrounded by people who loved her, and would be there for her, and that she was a lot more than just Mark's girlfriend.

[00:08:44] I said that she knew my opinion on it, but that ultimately, the choice was hers, and that I just wanted her to be happy. I also said I would be there for her, no matter what. She told me she would try to break up with him this week, and she'll let me know how it goes. I'll edit this post if I have more info. Also again, thank you to everyone who gave advice and tried to help us. I really appreciate it. Edit. Okay, so I just want to say, some people in the comments seem to think this is fake, and you know what? I can understand, and I don't really care.

[00:09:13] I'm not asking you to believe that my life is real or fake, and it's great that you don't just believe everything you see online. But I just want to say this. There are hundreds of people on here, or elsewhere, that share similar stories. I'm not really affected by people thinking I'm lying, mainly because I'm not the one in that situation. But some people might be. Some people come on here to share something that might have traumatized them, and the last thing they want is for others to think they're lying. So if you don't want to believe me, that's fine. But the next time, keep that to yourself.

[00:09:42] It's fine to not believe something, but you don't have to say it, because it might make other people feel really bad. So Opie adds a clarification on the boyfriend's previous relationship, and says, to explain this in more details, I went through the guy's socials with my friends a few days ago, because we thought there might be other weird things going on, and we ended up finding info about his previous relationship. The one right before Ella. So Ella told me at Christmas, so December 24th,

[00:10:10] that they had been dating for a few months. But when we searched his Facebook, we saw a post wishing happy birthday to a girl he called his baby, on December 12th. And this girl appeared in other posts where they were kissing, or he was calling her pet name, so he assumed it was his girlfriend, which Ella confirmed afterwards. And this girl also looked very young. At one point wrote something about her and said, as soon as you're done with college. So we knew she was in college, and she looked between 20 and 25.

[00:10:39] And Ella then confirmed that she was 21. But yeah, basically it seemed like he was still with his ex while dating Ella. So I asked her if she knew about that. Opie also adds, yeah, I'm pretty sure if she ends up breaking up with him, which I hope, her dad will blame me for it. Which is the last thing she'll need if she manages to get out of that relationship. I will gladly take the blame, but I'm just scared she'd feel guilty about it, and blame herself if she sees that her dad is mad at me. She's a very empathetic kid, which is a really great quality,

[00:11:08] but sometimes she hurts herself because of it. So about a month after that post, Opie comes in with another update and says, I know it's been a while since I posted the last update, and a lot of people have been requesting updates on the whole situation. But until now, I hadn't really received any news. So please forgive me if this update took a while to come. Since my last conversation with Ella, I would check in on her once or twice a week and ask how things were, and she'd always tell me pretty much the same as what she told me a month ago.

[00:11:38] Basically, there were many red flags, and she was getting more and more uncomfortable in her relationship. But she also didn't know how to break up with him. I tried to give her some advice, but eventually told her that I thought she should do it when she felt comfortable. Yesterday, I called her to know what she planned on Christmas, and if she'd be coming to Christmas dinner that I was hosting, and if Mark would be coming. That's when she told me she had broken up with him the evening before. She was pretty shaken up, so I didn't ask for too much detail, and asked if she wanted to come to my house for a while.

[00:12:07] She said that Mark had left to stay with his family when she told him, so she was okay staying home. This may be not a very detailed update, but here's what I know. She told me that he'd been getting angry at her all week for small things, and then when they were talking about Christmas, and he insisted they shouldn't go to Ella's family, and instead spend a week with his family, because they see them less often. They live out of state. And after that, he made a comment about how he hoped that the next year, as a present, they could give his mother a grandchild.

[00:12:37] Yeah. And Ella said that's what really made her break up with him. And she also told me that she'd be coming alone for Christmas. I don't know what she told him or how he reacted, and maybe she'll tell me more in a while when she feels better. And if not, I won't ask her to. If I get more information, I'll edit this post, but for now, that's it. And the top comments on this one said, oh, thank God Ella figured out he was not the one. Another one says, thank God for Ella.

[00:13:07] You're an amazing person and a wonderful uncle. She's incredibly lucky to have you in her life. And another commenter says, thank goodness Ella has you. Your words may have spared her quite a bit of pain. I'm happy she's broken up with him. Hopefully he doesn't weasel his way back into her home. That comment at the end was terrifying. That the next year is a present they could give his mother a grandchild. Oof. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:13:36] And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story, we're going over to the Petty Revenge subreddit from Bagel Under Couch who says, cab driver rips me to shreds thinking I can't understand him. But I can. Obligatory, this happened several years ago. A few months after I'd moved to Chicago. I'd moved there from Romania where I'd been living and going to school. Love Romania. People are great. Drop what you're doing and visit. Anyway,

[00:14:06] while I was there, due to my living situation, I had to learn the language fast and thoroughly. Not many people around me spoke English. Outside of the uni I was at. So fast forward to the few months after I arrived in Chicago. Imagine my surprise when the driver of the Uber I'd ordered appeared to have a Romanian name. The area had a lot of Eastern Europeans so I guess it shouldn't have been so surprising. I was really excited to talk to him and make sure I wasn't getting rusty. Maybe make a friend. Up pulls the guy.

[00:14:36] I get in, he greets me but he appears to be on the phone with a buddy slash family member. So I just sit quietly in the back, listening in a bit. The person on the other end asks if the driver is getting off work soon. He responded with something like the following. No, I still have a few hours left then I go home. Right now I have someone in the car. God, I hate this country. The women here are so fat and ugly. At least this one has a nice chest but why can't she lose some weight? And he goes on and on

[00:15:05] about all the problems with me and other American women. Now, I've always been a bit on the chonky side and you best believe the Romanians love to comment on it so I was used to it. But, I was a bit shocked that this guy was going off like that. Anyway, I'm just kind of sitting bemused in the back seat as we near my destination. Then I tell him in Romanian with all my might trying to pull off the distinct accent of the region I've been living in. Can you just pull over there on the right? I swear

[00:15:35] this guy's head did an exorcist girl head move and he turned a shade of red I've never seen nowhere else in nature. He didn't say anything just pulled over. When I got out I said thanks and added you're not attractive and you're also fat so maybe you shouldn't make comments like that. I've never again reached such levels of self pride. And ETA wow this blew up. Thanks so much for the awards. Then OP gives the name of the person which I think is

[00:16:04] from what I googled it's pronounced Giza Giza I hope I'd apologize if I butchered that. If you see this I hope you're still fat and ugly. Then added at the very end which I assume is some Romanian it says and I'm not sure if Google's right with this one it says translated and fuck your onion I do enjoy that kind of petty though just like string them along until the last minute and then just watch them suffer internally.

[00:16:34] But what do you guys make of this story and seeing as we're in the petty revenge subreddit let's have another one from there shall we? This one's from Rum Bun Bun and it says some bullies just need a grandma hug. I have a grandson I call him Sam 14 We've been pretty close through the years since he was just a few months old My husband and I have kept him overnight taking him on weekend trips watched him for several days at a time while his parents vacationed etc Even when we had to

[00:17:03] move a few hours away he'd come visit for two or three nights a few times a year His parents divorced and he'd become an adolescent He became withdrawn and distant but I found that he seemed to love to hear stories of the hilarious things he'd said and done when he was little He would sit and listen and be engaged with me for at least a while I've tried hard to keep a connection without being pushy He's been playing sports for years and we make it to at least a game or two per sport each session to see him play

[00:17:32] He'd come and give me a hug after each game My stepdaughter his mom told me she was amazed that he would hug me in public I was the only person who'd hug at his games including her I was pretty proud of this but it almost came to an end after one game last summer My husband and I showed up and Sam was very happy to see us After the game he ran out and gave me a hug I heard a nearby voice Look everyone Isn't that sweet Sam's hugging his grandma I felt Sam tense up

[00:18:02] and he immediately ended the hug I was not going to let that little turd ruin those special hugs so I turned to the kid who taunted Sam grabbed him in a bear hug and exclaimed Oh are you jealous You must need a grandma hug too The kid just stood there stunned for a couple of seconds long enough for a couple of Sam's friends to start in Jake get your own grandma Dude you're creepy He turned beet red and ran off We heard through my stepdaughter that Jake was kind of a jerk

[00:18:31] who always found reasons to pick on his teammates and Sam and his friends thought what I did to him was hilarious So far Sam still gives me hugs Grandma hug for the win Oh grandma hugs are literally one of the best things I remember going around my grandma's house this is the one that I've spoken about in the past and she got like a garden at the back that's just got trees and bushes everywhere with fruit on She's no longer with us unfortunately of course Towards the end when I was saying bye to her she'd always give me a hug

[00:19:01] and you know I'd give her a kiss on the cheek and she'd slip some sweets into my hoodie like grandma the little sweet dealer you know what I mean But anyway What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Now just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one Take care and much love

[00:19:29] Welcome back to the

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