I YELLED At My Pregnant Sister-In-Law During Her Gender Reveal r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now our first story comes from CB1570 and it says, Am I the arsehole here for going off on my pregnant sister-in-law after repeatedly being disrespected and ignored by her? My boyfriend, male 30 and I, female 25, had just gotten married in May of this year after being together for five years. For context, my now husband's family has an interesting history and dynamic.

[00:00:45] I'd describe them as very multicultural and diverse. My father-in-law is black slash Arab mixed, and my mother-in-law is white slash Persian mixed. As a result, their extended families are spread around the world. My husband has three more siblings, an elder brother and two younger brothers. I'm not sure if this is important, but I'm Asian. So my husband was studying in my home country, which is how we met.

[00:01:09] He has also lived and worked in my country for the past four years. It's safe to say he's made his permanent home here. Because of the dynamics of his family, I rarely get to meet them because they all live in different countries. During our five-year relationship, I barely met his parents two to three times and never met his older brother and his wife. On the other hand, I see his younger brothers frequently because they are currently studying in my native country. And we're really close.

[00:01:38] Fast forward to May of this year, when my now husband and I chose to get married in my home country. All of his family flew here to attend the wedding, and I met my husband's older brother and his wife for the first time. The first awkward incident with my sister-in-law occurred when I went to the airport with my husband to pick her and my brother-in-law up a few days before our wedding.

[00:01:59] When we first met, I extended my hand for a handshake, expecting a full, strong handshake to my sister-in-law. And she literally just used the tip of her fingers to touch my hands. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like when you don't really want to touch someone's hand during a handshake. Following that, she walked right past me and hugged my husband. On the other side, my brother-in-law is really welcoming and thrilled to finally meet me. He hugged me and said, it's great to finally meet you.

[00:02:28] His warmth made me forget about my sister-in-law's rudeness, and we moved on. In the days leading up to the wedding, my sister-in-law makes subtle remarks about the wedding, criticizing every element we choose, from the flowers to my wedding dress. For everyone's information, I come from a financially secure family that owns a business. My parents supported half of the wedding costs, while the other half was covered by myself and my husband. My husband is a doctor, and I work as an engineer.

[00:02:55] One thing that frustrates me is how my sister-in-law keeps telling me how fortunate I am to have a wealthy family to mooch off from. And I'm sure we're throwing a lot of tantrums at my parents, given how enormous and luxurious the wedding is. But it's always so subtle that it wouldn't start a fight, but enough to make me uncomfortable. For background, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are also both financially well off. My husband's family was similarly financially comfortable to begin with.

[00:03:23] My brother-in-law is an accountant, and my sister-in-law occupies a management position in the company. She's also a lifestyle influencer with quite a large following on Instagram, and they live in Dubai. You know how expensive the city is. Fast forward to September of this year. My husband and I received an invitation from my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for a gender reveal party and baby shower in October, which occurred a few days ago.

[00:03:48] We were ecstatic and decided to book our flights into Dubai immediately after receiving the invitation. For your information, there will be two separate events. A gender reveal party for brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and their respective families and acquaintances. And a baby shower for my sister-in-law and her female family members and acquaintances the following day. I was invited to both parties, and I was supposed to attend a baby shower without my husband, which I believe was a nice opportunity to bond with my sister-in-law.

[00:04:17] But then, my sister-in-law contacted my husband one day before the gender reveal party and informed him that I was not invited to the baby shower. The reason is that she does not want me to draw attention away from her during the event. My husband and I were plainly perplexed as to how and why I'd be diverting attention away from her. And the reason is that no one knows or has ever met me, so they will ask, and she does not want to spend time explaining who I am to her guests.

[00:04:45] Because my husband and I do not want to cause any unnecessary drama. We just agreed that I will only attend the gender reveal party with him. On the day of the gender reveal party, I went with my husband and my sister-in-law did not speak with me at all or even recognize my presence. I tried to make small chat to congratulate her, but she just blew me off each time. My brother-in-law, on the other hand, is as friendly as ever, thankfully. When the party appeared to be coming to an end, I went out to the car to get the gift I had purchased.

[00:05:15] Apparently for the baby shower. But because I would not be attending the baby shower the next day, I decided to give it to her that day. During that time, the guest began to leave and when I handed her the gift, she screamed at me loudly. The first thing she said was, Don't you have manners? I was clearly taken aback and bewildered. She then accused me of attempting to assert dominance by flaunting my wealth and rubbing it in her face, as well as looking down at her.

[00:05:42] For those that are curious about the present I bought, I purchased a baby blanket and sleeping bag from Dior. And the present is in the Dior shopping bag. I felt humiliated after being screamed at and my blood was boiling at the time. I yelled back in rage, asking her what I did wrong to deserve to be treated so disrespectfully by her. I said that her insecurities were not my responsibility and that she despised me that much, she should not have invited me in the first place.

[00:06:10] She appears stunned by my words and begins crying. Both my husband and brother-in-law rushed towards us to calm us down. My husband suggested that we leave as well, as some guests had already begun to leave. It happened three days ago, and since then everything has been quiet. Nobody said anything. And now I feel horrible for yelling at a pregnant woman. Nah, not the arsehole.

[00:06:32] I mean, as we always say in these stories, being pregnant, mental health, grieving, whatever it is, doesn't give you an excuse to be an arsehole to someone. There's clearly a lot of insecurity going there that she's viewing you as some kind of like a competition and then decides to treat you like shit because of it. You know, I just wouldn't have nothing to do with that person. I'd be no contact until they come to my face and say, look, I'm sorry for the way that I treated you. Nola Love says, let me tell you something.

[00:07:01] People will fuck with you till it stops being fun for them. You made it stop being fun for her. You let her know the gloves are off, and if she swings at you, you will swing right back. No matter where, no matter who's there. You handled it perfectly. She knows going forward a disrespect will be met with the same and louder. It's the only way to make her act civilly. That's all you can enforce at this point. Do not apologize. Instead, make it clear there is plenty more where that came from.

[00:07:30] If you are treated to any more of her abuse. If the brother-in-law says anything to you, say you will continue to meet her energy. That's all you say and repeat it as many times as be necessary for him and any other family that ask. And Nonnie Moosehead says, not the arsehole. She's clearly a miserable person that has nothing to do with you. She will always be like this because it's who she is. Just avoid and ignore her as much as possible. Key Step says, not the arsehole.

[00:07:58] Sister-in-law sounds delulu and clearly insecure. It's Dior. It's not that expensive. If no one has kids yet and you guys are financially well off, you're happy for her. It's Dubai. My understanding is they go off for big parties with brand luxuries. There's many more brand names. Sister-in-law is someone you need to stay away from. She sounds mentally not okay with pregnancy hormones. Commenter replies that saying, if she's reacting that poorly to a Dior bag,

[00:08:26] I get the feeling that she's not able to actually afford that Dubai lifestyle. Could be she and brother-in-law have increasing debt to try and keep up the facade of her influencer image. And a baby is making her stressed. Everyone sucks here. I'm all about matching energy. But that should have been done well before. Having a screaming match in public makes you both look bad. Learn to address issues with her as they happen. And not at big events.

[00:08:53] And one more comment from Kirst who says, not the arsehole. Be clear with your husband that you will not tolerate her disrespect again. She's been continually rude to you and shouted at you first. She needs to apologize and behave civilly. You will clearly never be friends. But if she cannot be civil, then she will never be anything more than a stranger that you will never be around. You should have handled this when your sister-in-law was rude at the wedding. He didn't. That's on your husband and brother-in-law. Not you.

[00:09:22] So OP came in with her update and said, It has been a month since my last post and now I have the opportunity to provide an update. Finally. First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who commented and supported me in my previous post. And I apologize for not being able to respond to each and every one of you. By the way, my husband and I have returned safely to our home. After a few days of silence following what happened at the gender reveal party, I eventually sat down with my husband to discuss it.

[00:09:49] Had an honest discussion in which I expressed how mean my sister-in-law has been to me. And my husband ended up apologizing for not standing up for me while subconsciously knowing how my sister-in-law has treated me. As I mentioned in my previous post, My husband comes from a household without a girl sibling and for the past 12 years, Sister-in-law has been like a sister to him, Leaving him torn between speaking out against her and sticking up for me.

[00:10:14] He said he didn't expect things to go so bad because we live in separate countries and won't see each other much. We resolved our conversation with him promising to have my back if something like this happened again. In the same week, my husband and I had the opportunity to speak with my brother-in-law through video call. Sister-in-law was not present. I know not everyone would agree with my apology, But I did apologize to brother-in-law for causing a scene by yelling at their gender reveal party.

[00:10:40] To my surprise, brother-in-law said it was fine and he remarked she had it coming. Following that, brother-in-law apologized to me on behalf of sister-in-law, As well for turning a blind eye to what had been going on between me and sister-in-law. We discussed what might be the source of sister-in-law's hatred for me, And to my surprise, it appears to be tied to the fact that sister-in-law believes I'm taking over the position of daughter-in-law in the family from her. She has been the only sister-in-law for my husband's brothers, And she believes I'm taking over the role.

[00:11:10] As I previously stated, my husband's younger brothers have been studying in my home country since early this year, And we've had many opportunities to spend time together. According to brother-in-law, sister-in-law believes the brothers have been pulling away from her and become closer to me. For information, the brothers are 22 and 16 years old. Adding to the unpredictable pregnant hormones, She believes I'm buying the brothers love by spoiling them with materialistic items.

[00:11:38] Brother-in-law stated that she had mentioned her concern to him several times previously, But he did not expect her to take it seriously and always dismissed it. He apologized again and stated that he would discuss it with sister-in-law after her feelings had been resolved. According to brother-in-law, sister-in-law has been acting as if nothing has happened. So he is also unsure when it is appropriate to bring the issue to the table. We ended the video chat on a positive note,

[00:12:04] And I promised brother-in-law that I would speak with her brothers and perhaps encourage them to contact sister-in-law to see how she is doing. So she does not feel left out. And as for sister-in-law, I haven't spoken to her yet. And to be honest, I'm not sure I ever will. My husband and I have decided to move on from the situation and focus on our own lives. I believe that is all the updates so far. And to be honest, I could use some suggestions on how to fix my relationship with my sister-in-law. Should I reach out to her or something?

[00:12:35] Hell no. Don't be reaching out. I personally can't see her behavior changing anytime soon. She might get called up about her behavior and the way that she's acting right now. But the remarks towards you would just be sort of more hidden. And for myself in this, I would simply chalk this relationship as, you know, when you're around each other, you'll be, like you say, civil towards one another. But that is it. And you expect the same for her. Otherwise, you just won't contact her again ever. Simple as that.

[00:13:04] Getting too old to have shitty people in my life, you know. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now in our next story, there's going to be talk of a sexual act. You're going to get it from the title, so you can feel free to skip or whatever afterwards. Timestamp's always down in the description. It's from a throwaway account from the true off my chest subreddit and says,

[00:13:31] my husband got a blowjob from a stripper at his brother's bachelor party. He broke my heart so much. We've been married since 2016 and together since 2013. I'm pregnant. He knew I was pregnant when he cheated. I hired a divorce lawyer today. I never thought I would be here. I'll owe spousal support for a time, but I would rather pay than stay with him. I can't stay with him after this. I cried for two hours after I saw the lawyer.

[00:14:02] And the update is slightly longer, but there was a couple of top comments on this one and said the amount of stories about cheating during bachelors and bachelorette parties is wild. Why don't people just stop doing dumb shit like this? Free Range Robot says, what even is the appeal of strippers at these things? My bachelor party, my best man planned out a whole day of whiskey tasting, paint boiling and basically gluttony. Another commenter says, the best bachelor party I went to involved laser tag,

[00:14:29] bowling, cigars, too much pizza and a lot of alcohol. I don't know why anyone would ever hire a stripper for something like this. My favorite stag do or bachelor party was, it involved morph suits, alcohol and karaoke. But OP came in with their update two years later. It's a background from my original post. My husband got a blowjob from a stripper during his brother's bachelor party. I found out a few days later

[00:14:57] because he sent me a text about it that was meant for his brother. My husband left work early to come home and delete it from my phone, but I'd already seen it. He played it off and told me nothing happened. A few days later, his brother got married and after the reception, my husband told me what he had done with a stripper. The day after the wedding, he said he was making up nonsense because he had too much to drink at the reception. Several days after the wedding, he came to me in tears and confessed that it was all true

[00:15:25] and he did get oral sex from the stripper. He tried to blame it on being drunk, but he later admitted that he didn't drink as much as he pretended to and wasn't really drunk at either the bachelor party or the reception. The best man had apparently kept the groom away from any shenanigans with the strippers. The best man did not drink anything since he was a designated driver. The other men at the bachelor party, besides the groom, the best man and my husband, were single, so they were not cheating with how they acted with the strippers.

[00:15:55] I was pregnant when this happened. I hired a divorce lawyer after my husband confessed. Our divorce was finalized 11 months ago. My ex-husband and I alternate weeks with our son. He's 19 months old now. There was a lot of discussion in the comments of my original post about divorce law and my husband being at fault. However, in my state, divorce is purely no fault and the court does not consider fault in the division of assets. Those are divided 50-50.

[00:16:24] I was ordered to pay alimony since I earned twice what my ex-husband does. I have seven more months of alimony payments to make. I'm an actuary and my husband is a carpet installer and the law was clear on how alimony works. My ex-husband did not have oversight visits with our son until I stopped breastfeeding. And leading up to our son's first birthday, we slowly transitioned to overnight visits. Once we worked up to alternating weeks, we with our son, I began to pay child support.

[00:16:52] I do admit that although my ex-husband was a terrible husband, he is a good father. We are co-parenting amicably and don't bring up the past. I don't regret the divorce. I wanted to post an update to thank everyone since I received so much support in my last post. And there were too many comments to reply to individually. Dear Parsnip says, he blew up his whole family for a blowjob. Hope it was worth it for him. What a loser. UCSD says,

[00:17:20] it's wild how a moment of weakness can ruin everything. Total lack of respect. Harlequin Madness says, I don't understand people that say he was a horrible husband, but is a good father. No, he's not. If you're a good father, he wouldn't have cheated and blown up the family. A good father wouldn't jeopardize their child's security and home for a fucking blowjob. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of that situation? Holy moly. Let it say, blowing up your life over that.

[00:17:50] Jesus. But now we're going to move on to another story. Which one? This one was shared across our own subreddit. r slash mark narration from the am I the arsehole here subreddit. It's from fucking printer who says, my wife cooks really bad, but won't let me cook. I understand if people will say I am ungrateful, but I can't really stand it. I work in office and usually bring food from home and I'm doing a part-time PhD. So my schedule is a bit busy.

[00:18:20] So my approach to food is to do prepping. I prep on weekends and usually heat them on weekdays when I have to work. Things have changed now that we lived together and got married. My wife would say not to waste time on the weekend with prepping if we can go out dating. I complied. We went out every weekend because that's really the only time I'm available and can take her out. So now she decided to start cooking. But her cooking is just terrible and I can't stand it. One time she packed me like

[00:18:50] only pasta in the container for work. Just that. Pasta without sauce or anything and she told me that's how people eat pasta. And I'm eating pasta wrong my entire life. Once she packed me two slices of bread. That's all. She once made me fried rice with just vinegar because she liked the taste. I'm at the point that I puked once. So I decided to talk to her about it because she bought a frozen hash brown

[00:19:17] and boiled it because she said it's too oily. Now she told me I'm ungrateful for what she has done. How should I navigate this? I can't seem to figure it out. I'm willing to cook but she won't let me at all. Am I the arsehole here? Oh, I was getting vibes of the experimental Thanksgiving person who's just making random stuff to bring to Thanksgiving dinner. We're still waiting on the full update for that one by the way. After Thanksgiving of course. But I feel like there's something more here.

[00:19:47] Is it some kind of like test to you or something? Putting two slices of bread in a box and giving it to you. Come on, that's not lunch. I mean, that's not even cooking. And everyone's got to start somewhere, right? Everyone's got to learn to cook somewhere. But I just don't believe that you could put two slices of bread into a box and say that's your lunch or just plain pasta or fried rice with just vinegar and saying, oh yeah, eat that. And then call you ungrateful afterwards. Boiling a hash brown?

[00:20:14] I would like to think that I'm a pretty tactful person when it comes to having conversations about, you know, sensitive stuff. You're cooking, whatever. But this honestly feels like she's testing or something. That's the way it feels to me. Turbulent says, won't let you. Just do it. Honestly, she sounds weird. It's that guy Rupert says, not the arsehole. This sounds completely disgusting. Keep doing what you're doing. I question how it got to this point. What does she eat or snack on?

[00:20:42] She genuinely just enjoys the food she's given you. Hopey says, we've been dating for years but lived in different towns. We only met when we go somewhere together and most of the time we eat outside and just cook instant stuff. Didn't really feel like it was an issue at the time. Weirdly, she baked some good pastry sometimes. Ooh, someone else said it. That lumberjack said, there's a small chance she's doing it to test you. There are some stupid shit tests but if she hasn't lived in a hole her entire life,

[00:21:11] that's the only explanation I can think of for someone eating such bland foods and gaslighting you into thinking it's normal. How does she eat when you go out on the weekends? Does she ever order any of these super bland foods for herself? Pasta, hold the sauce. Or a sandwich, but just the bread, please. Opie says, what's the point of testing me if we've been dating for more than five years in a long distance relationship even? We already married and lived together for one year. She ordered like normal outside but will complain though

[00:21:40] if there's too much sauce or something. Lumberjack replies that saying, I don't know, man. She's either doing it on purpose or she's not. If she's not doing it on purpose, you can figure it out. If she's doing it on purpose, the reasonable question is why? Well, I don't know your situation. I've dealt with my own fare of shit tests and that's the most reasonable explanation if she is, in fact, doing it knowingly. Maybe she's seeing how far she can push you before you push back. Some women will do crazy stuff

[00:22:08] just to see how much they can get away with or to see how much they can trust your judgment. My ex would sometimes do something blatantly weird and when I didn't stand my ground in terms of common sense. She would lose trust in my ability to take charge and be reasonable in general. So now, I'm going to ask you guys what the bloody hell is going on here? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time.

[00:22:38] It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved. Truly, it's absolutely amazing. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.