I Wore Gold To Best Friends Wedding And Bride Said "You're Not First Prize Here" r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's all going on? I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

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[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Unless crack on with today's first story

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Much love guys now. Today's first story comes from vivid promise 8476 from the Am I the Arsol subreddit

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It says I'm either our soul of wearing a gold dress to a wedding

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I will link the dress

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I put gold in quotation marks because I think it's more bronze slash orange, but maybe I'm splitting hairs and an amd the arsol

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Some context my 30 female best friend Dan 30 male got married to Lauren 27 female yesterday

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Me and Dan have been best friends since high school and despite always being platonic with no romantic interest on either side

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Is now wife Lauren has always disliked me

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_00]: In their three years of dating I've not been allowed to see Dan alone because she feels that it's suspicious that

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to hang out with him

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I just missed my friend

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Despite me being happily married she's always kept me at arms length

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: It was figured this was because she's from a very conservative family

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Dan has spoken to her multiple times and after she'll back off for a bit before

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Reverting to complaining about him being friends with a girl again

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not ideal, but she makes Dan happy so I made my piece with it

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: App brings us to the wedding

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Originally I was going to be in the groom's party, but Lauren ended up crying saying

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_00]: The wedding is not a place to swap gender roles

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And was fighting her on this, but I told him I'd just attend as a guest and not to choose this

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Hilda Dian

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: The dress code was warm tone garden party

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00]: And we're encouraged to wear earthy warm colors

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I picked out a bronze slash orange dress. It's this perfectly and the style even matched some examples they gave

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: In short, I thought I nailed it. The wedding went great. However, at the reception Lauren dragged me aside and said

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot believe you had wedged gold to my wedding

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You're not the first prize you're just fucking trashy

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I was so shocked in the moment I just stared at her

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: She practically screamed at me to leave and she was drawing attention so I grabbed my husband

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Saga bite her down and left

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Dan reached out after and told me he was upset I left his wedding so soon

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Lauren's mum has texted me saying I ruined the wedding for a daughter

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm stupid for wearing a gold dress

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00]: He's saying it as bad as wearing white

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I was genuinely not aware this was a thing

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to reach out to Dan to explain

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I'm in the wrong here

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Am I?

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: The arse or?

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I'm going to read the first comment first because I think it's pretty much a long

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Same line, the other wind says I don't think you're a matted what color your dress was

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Now wife hates you. I'm just going to find something to yell at you for whatever you wore

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: If it wasn't the dress color, it would have been something else

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00]: How your friend while you left early and make sure he knows how his wife treats you

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Not the arse or

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: OP did provide a link to the dress so this is a picture of the dress here

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm color blind anyway, so I always struggle with this kind of stuff but to me it looks very

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Bronzey or in G and like the comment said it was going to be about something if it wasn't the dress

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It'd be something else you already explained what the dynamic is between you two

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So there was always going to be something so like the comment said as well

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I just tell your friend the truth about what happened

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Dogs reading books says not the arse or you were an orange dress to their wedding

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: It was perfectly within the dress code

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Be frank, I didn't even notice normal to decide which colors guess where to the wedding

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Thought that was for bridesmaids, but sure

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Nope, you followed the dress code she clearly has beef with you if your description of this is accurate

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Then she's making drama out of nothing

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Impossible due to says not the arse or was your husband present for the tirade

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00]: 10 Dan the screenshot mother and Lauren the bride sent you and just explain that you value his friendship

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: But you don't want to be mistreated by his spouse and at when he's ready to come back to your friendship

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: You and your husband will welcome him

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And if he needs a witness he can call your husband directly about what transpired

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like this is a no win situation

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And one more comment from content plenty who says not the arse or there's nothing wrong with this color

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: It only fits the warm and earthy tone category at any rate

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: No gold color at a wedding is not a thing even if the bride and her mother suddenly decide to declare it as such

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Right, you're not going to win this fight as long as your friend wants to be married to this nut

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: This is not a normal amount of deranged

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: If one day he gets over it and he divorces her even another chance of being friends

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But for your own sanity you might be better off keeping your distance from this family

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP gave their first update within the same post and said wow guys, I genuinely didn't know what to expect

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Post into strangers on this but I'm so thankful to my husband for suggesting this

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I needed a non-biased you on this wearing gold to a wedding issue and now it's clear that was never the issue

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Many of you asked if the dress I wore stood out and honestly I'm not on bias saying this but I genuinely don't think so

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Another girl was wearing the exact same dress, but in a dark red which we had a laugh about

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Clip dresses are pretty common wedding guests dress where I am and there was the type of dress that was

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Recommended by the bride. I think many of you were right in saying that it was never about the dress

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: But how I looked wearing it? I do want to start this update by thanking my husband who suggested I post here

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Having a ball reading your comments and posting and even posting a photo of us this morning with a caption allong the lines of

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: My goal prize of a wife. I'm winning a life thanks to you

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Turns out Dan found out pretty quickly what actually happened and called me last night

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently Lauren's mum had told him I was really drunk and told Lauren her dress wasn't it

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So I was requested to leave

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Dan had his suspicions that it was bullshit, but it wasn't until his mum calling him that confirmed it

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Turns out she was nearby when Lauren pulled me aside and ironically was actually wearing a yellow gold dress and

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: For a new one about letting Lauren treat me like that

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Dan didn't have a solution when he called I could tell he was emotionally exhausted and pretty defeated

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: He said he wished at taking it out on the open bar rather than leaving but the understood why I left

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00]: He thanked me for taking the high road and that it hasn't gone unnoticed

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: It apologise for what happened apparently this is an ongoing fight between him and Lauren

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_00]: For all those who said Lauren just hates me turns out it's 100% true

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently she's been trying to convince Dan to cut me off because that's what a good husband does

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: He said that he thought she got no written now that they were married

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I told him that he needs to focus on his happiness and that will always be here to support him

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: That will take a step back if that's what's needed

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It was supposed to leave for the honeymoon yesterday, but when Dan called they were still at home, so who knows?

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: At the lock, Lauren and our mum and forwarded the messages to Dan as recommended

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks again everyone for your comments and judgment

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_00]: So around four months later OP came in with an update and said so it's been a couple of months

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And a bit has happened

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: The situation seemed to resonate with quite a few people, so I thought I'd provide a final update

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to everyone who has messaged

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: It did help me feel a little less crazy during this time

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Until the person let me know I can simply post an update here

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you and no idea how this all worked

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_00]: So Lauren ended up finding the post on TikTok and was understandably pissed

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She called me from Dan's phone and started screaming at me saying I'd ruined her wedding

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And then I knew what I was doing wearing a dress like that to the wedding

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_00]: After the initial shock, I've expecting Dan and get in Lauren screaming a yelled

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: What kind of dress? The same cut that Amy wore

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Someone else has worn the same dress but in a different colour

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I just can't win with you, dress nicely and I'm out to get you, dress casually and I'm taking the piss

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I've tried so hard with you, but I'm done and hung up

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: A message Dan, I clearly can't be in your life with everything the way it is right now

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Good luck, I'll always be a cooler way before blocking the number which broke my heart

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: That was three months ago and I didn't hear anything except from Dan's mother saying Lauren

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Wouldn't stop complaining about me and life continued

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: In this time I also discovered that I'm pregnant

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Being a hubby made a post a couple of weeks ago and now it's in this which made us wait to Dan

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00]: He turned up on my friend or a few days after

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked over many drinks on his end and mocktails on mine

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me that he always thought it was the right thing to do to listen to your partner's boundaries and insecurities

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And that Lauren has a lot of body images used which resulted in her being suspicious of other women

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00]: So he thought the right thing was to support her

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: He got lost in selling his own boundaries when it came to how she controlled his interactions with his friends

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: He said the whole situation forced him to think about her boundaries and her own personal standards

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And saw that they consistently contradicted each other like she believes rightly so that women are allowed to wear whatever

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: They feel comfortable in but she would complain that I was unreasonable for wearing bikinis to family beach days because it was inappropriate

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And also realized she was trying to cut out his sister and literally every woman in his life including his boss

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Insisting he get another job

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: By the time he had heard about my pregnancy

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me he didn't want to be an absent friend through this

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And so yet a serious conversation with Lauren

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I won't go into details but the result was that they are currently separated and both in therapy

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And asked Lauren to move out and she's currently staying with her mum who is apparently convinced by end of the devil

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Whilst on sad for Dan's relationship having to end like this I'm happy to see that he's starting to learn

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00]: What a healthy relationship is and he'll be able to be my friend through my pregnancy

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband is excited have his gaming buddy back

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I reached out to Lauren with Dan's permission letting her know that I'm here to talk in therapy session if she felt like it would help

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: But I haven't received a response yet and maybe that's for the best

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't help but feel bad on Sundays because I know a lot of this was born from insecurity

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to focus on the positives that both of them are in therapy

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And hopefully we'll move on to bigger and better things

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry if his update is a bit scattered as well

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying he's been hitting me hard

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Is that date has been read and approved by Dan

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: So turtle obsests says on the back of this one, hey congratulations on the pregnancy

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I think Lauren is insecure about her image indeed but also that she doesn't trust Dan enough to stay by her side

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I do think Dan made the right decision and asked him to leave the house and given each other some space

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I suffer from body image too and often fear other women taking my boyfriend away from me

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00]: My lovely sweet amazing partner has never ceased to amaze me on how reassuring he can be

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Being insecure isn't an excuse to start treating people like crap to make yourself feel better

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Lauren is a bully and an asshole for trying to dictate who Dan's friends and family are and aren't

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00]: The mom is an enabler for allowing her daughter to behave this way and think it's okay

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Although given her the benefit of it doubt and pretty sure Lauren paints herself in a more positive light to a mother

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: To make it seem like you're the reason for their feeling relationship

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't even be surprised if Lauren made a story about you having the hots for Dan either

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_00]: If the mama has the goal to call you the devil himself my advice to Dan think long and hard of this other life you want to live

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00]: With a woman who doesn't respect your familial and platonic relationships

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Who doesn't trust you enough to be civil with the people you love

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Who drives their wedge between you and the people who have known you most of your life

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're willing to fight fuel marriage be a man and stand up for the boundaries you want in place

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't dance around what you want and what needs to be done

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not one for automatems, but Lauren seems to need one badly if she continues acting like this

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you responded, sen thank you. We are very excited and while I can't talk to Lauren's motivations

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I do agree that whatever issues you're going through and Lauren excuse to push unfair boundaries

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm an aura of Dan strength that he is shown in the last couple of weeks

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00]: They continue their relationship. I know it will be on better terms for both of them

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And a final comment which says first off congratulations on your incoming baby. That's so exciting and

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Doublely so since Dan decided to be there for you

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_00]: The fact that Lauren is jealous of Dan's sister and trying to cut her off as well as a huge red flag

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_00]: But really you think it leave you for a sister

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_00]: She has zero faith and trust in him and seems to be highly manipulative and yeah a mama naval

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Be careful OP she may yet try to say your baby is dance

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_00]: My now husband's ex tried that type of thing with me and holy man

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Zero out of ten would never recommend but do enjoy this time with your hobby and your best friend back

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that comment from turtle obsessed pretty much said it all

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't it is that I think OP dealt with it in a very mature way step-in-back out of the situation

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And just allowing things to resolve themselves in some way always keeping the door open to Dan saying you know if you if you need me

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm there for you

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Because whilst Lauren is insecure it's not an excuse for the behavior that she's showing for treating people like that from

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Alienating the relationships that Dan had around him isolating him in some ways and

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Therapy is the right way to go for Lauren as well. I do hope that she does get therapy in it

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Hopes her with it insecurity issues because like I always say she may be in an asshole in this story to Dan and and then splitting up

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Is likely the right way to be going about this right now. I'd rather have someone that's gone through therapy

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Out themselves out because no one wants that for the next relationship that she might be a part of

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_00]: But anyway now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Now next story comes from creative state 3528 and says it's my boyfriend lying about replacing my fish

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I never post on here ever but I'm seriously so confused

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I return home this morning from a three week trip in Japan to find my better fish looking completely different

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I granted my fish to get sick while I was a wage it would infection a new pleco had bought to the tank

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess I'm just concerned that my boyfriend lied about my fish surviving

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_00]: That my better for months now and is never ever looked any different or sick

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And I did get him from my boyfriend's brother's ex-wife after she abandoned him and I thought I'd brought him back from

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: What he looked like then which was not good or no way near what he looks like now

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_00]: The first photo is my fish when I left the second is what I come home to

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I really need answers he's reduced in size the tail is shorter and fled significantly more

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And the obvious he completely different colors

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_00]: He was magenta and purple and now blue and orange

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_00]: He also has a scar of some kind on the other side of his body which is nowhere to be seen on him now

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_00]: We just have a description of the images so the first image showed a purple and blue bit more of a

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Shrupy tail the second image are red and tear-ish better with more of a fan tail

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_00]: They're quite different fish

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00]: So some other comments in this one says better's can change colors, but they can't just change from a veil tail to a half moon tail

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Trinkin size or magically get rid of scars long and very sorry about your original fish

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Ope says thank you for this

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Comment to says it's a different fish. He didn't want you to be sad Ope says I'm sure he didn't mean any harm

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: But he's refusing to admit your place did actually feel like he thinks I'm stupid

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your comment

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Another comment to says if your mad or offended by this is completely justified

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I personally don't find it cute or sweet at all that he's refusing to admit to replace your fish

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And the mind you'll love for the original in multiple ways refusing to allow you to agree on it on your own terms

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Just thinking you'd not recognize it being an entirely different fish

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_00]: What law and overall is just dishonest Ope says not offended at all by this

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Incredibly upset with him at the moment the most I've been our entire relationship in all honesty given that we're coming up to

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: 10 months officially together. I can't tell you ways we're refusing to admit it now

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I agree there are preferred to grieve my fish if he is past and I'm huge on names being special

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to have him just happen to be really close one to me

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't want to associate it with another fish and yes, it makes me believe you think some quite stupid

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Believing I wouldn't recognize it was a different fish

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It was the first thing I walked to upon my return home and my first 10 minutes was spent with my mouth hanging open inspecting

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Because I was just so in shock and could clearly tell this was not the fish I left

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: tried to give the benefit of the doubt with the sickness altering his appearance

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It'd been assuring me my fish was healthy now and look different under the light not that tank was really dirty

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I cleaned it myself just two days before leaving and he had been cleaning it too

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But that infection had taken place over a week ago at this point and he had no problems

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Telling me the plexus had passed I can't even describe how angry it makes me and confused

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your comment

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But the commenter says don't let him convince you that it's not a big deal

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're already haven't talked about the state of the tank one earth

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_00]: But he not just be honest

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It's extremely avoiding an immature him honestly

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make it seem like you think you're stupid

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Plus refusing to allow you to agree with your original fish is just immoral

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I totally get what you mean about the name

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Oopie says once I convinced myself that wasn't my original fish

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_00]: With something I messaged him about constantly all day

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_00]: You say yes every time and I still could not believe it even express that I do not believe him into just tell me

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This going on with a fish was just the cherry on top of today

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00]: So I really tried to get it out of him even in an argument about something different and he still refuses to tell me

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Makes no sense whatsoever and I can assure you and everyone else that might be reading this that will not let him get away with it

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00]: All of my animals are incredibly precious to me. They matter how physically small they are

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_00]: People thinking I'm stupid they've got to be my biggest pet peeve

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_00]: As much as it hurts my feelings coming from him my ego is way too high for him to think I wouldn't recognize a fish in a tank

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Literally faces the bed I sleep in every night

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Someone says like do you find it strange at the boy from a different fuse to admit it?

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a different fish even when pressed repeatedly

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Is he normally defensive and refuses to admit fault in other aspects of life too

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think he believes you're stupid. I think the whole thing is about him

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00]: What he deals with conflict? I think he has him growing up to do

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P. Responded saying he's never been this defensive especially after constant prank

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so confused. I don't know if you've seen me another comment in mind, but there were two blackhows in the tank that are past and

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_00]: He had no issues telling me that they had weren't it's definitely very strange. Thank you for your comment

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comment to say this obvious is not the same fish

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Please do not let him gas like you into thinking it's the same fish

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I find it very concerning is lack of honesty here and you should maybe reconsider your relationship with this person if you can't even own up to something that is important to you

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry O.P.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says thank you for your comments. I agree with you entirely that this lack of honesty is presenting is not ideal for a relationship

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm hoping to talk with him in person tomorrow about it. Thank you again

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comment says maybe he viewed the better as your pride and joy and thought that somehow is

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Failure to treat the infection of the better might give you cause to blame him and he doesn't want that

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_00]: The newest plechow come from the store. Did he buy it or introduce it to the better tank?

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Many possible explanation is that he must feel responsible and it isn't ready to admit to anyone that the fish died under his care

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it isn't truly his fault

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says I've assured him plenty that will not blame him because I know it could have been his fault

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: They all had gotten sick and yes my new plechow was from the store and was introduced and

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: was only in there a couple of weeks into me being gone before it was the first to go

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00]: He thinks the new one started the infection and got to the other plechow that killed him a few days later

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was a fungal infection because describe them as looking fuzzy

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: He said he ran medicine through when my bad had survived it but clearly there is not the case

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_00]: The comment says have you tried just telling him that you know it's not the same fish

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe in a calm, not accusesory way like I'm not mad. I just want you to be honest with me

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I know this is not fish's name

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Please tell me the truth so we can move on from this

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says well I'm currently waiting for his response to my message of confrontation

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_00]: My previous ones have all been a series of

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Are you sure and was he really that sick?

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And also just stating how different the fish looked

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00]: All of which you're applied to with reassurance that it was my original fish

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps maybe try to bit too hard to convince me of it now that I look back on the text between us

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comment says people throw the word gaslighting around on here all the time

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But this seems like a natural case of it for once

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_00]: This one thousand percent a different fish

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you did it to keep your feelings from being hurt, it's still messed up that he won't admit it

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But I can say as you need to give things a long hard look before continuing

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says I mean I can't believe I even posted about it on Reddit

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_00]: It's clearly not the same fish

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_00]: It was to show how well he was able to almost convince me this was the same fish and that will be honest

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_00]: The original fish was my first so it wasn't quite a word of anything that unusual happening

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I think he was using that to his advantage to try and get me to believe it's the same fish

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_00]: A different comment says to O.P

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Filsuit bad for you in your original fish

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_00]: The new fish is lucky to have such an attentive and concerned parent in you

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_00]: If you decide to keep it

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Please take care of yourself as you can tell we're worried for you

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_00]: At the same time it's been sad and frustrated about your fish

[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I agree that this may be the tip of the iceberg

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And even rear value anything is told you in the past that didn't quite make sense

[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Or hugs

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says I will absolutely be keeping the new better

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Anything that steps foot or fin in my home stays

[00:22:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for commenting

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comment says did you see the infection?

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_00]: It is show you did he ever show you any animosity to the fish you had

[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_00]: As he ever tested during the past or tried to see how much you could get away with

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Could it be jealous or bitter? You also keep fish

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says no he never did take pictures or show me the fish at all

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Not even when they passed just to describe what was happening

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Never saw the infection he was talking about even prior to leaving

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And thanks the possibility he's jealous of the fish from being completely real here

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_00]: It's never been dishonest like this before so it's definitely tricking confusing

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_00]: That's the white all of a sudden he's being so adamant on that being the same fish

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope he didn't purposely give them away

[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I won't see any reason behind it or even who he'd given to

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I also don't think it's possible that he maliciously got rid of them

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he was neglectful in whatever way and felt bad sure

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't think he meant any harm to them specifically

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I fish and water quality would perfect before I left

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I stripped his water after every cleaning to make sure everything is smooth

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_00]: A strip came back with flying colors literally the fish was replaced before I return home

[00:24:08] [SPEAKER_00]: So actually didn't have any idea when the original fish could have gone but probably within a last week or two

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your comment. I hope I covered everything

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So O.P added an update and said hello everyone

[00:24:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I will not let me edit this post but I'm here to tell you that it admitted is not being the same fish

[00:24:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It took as far as me threatened to break up which is childish to me, but that's the length I had to take

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I've told him I do not want to continue a relationship with a liar so it's right now when they're longer together

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you everyone for commenting and confirming that I'm not crazy and giving me information to back myself up

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate everyone's advice and concern and certainly hope you guys are pleased with a sub fate

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_00]: If anyone has further questions, I'll still be answering

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Edit

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I will also point out that a new fish will stay with me despite his offering to take him off my hand

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And will not be treated any differently or less attended to

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I've named the new fish, don't know they will be very well loved with me

[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I get to find out what my ex is done with the original fish was to angry and heated that I forgot to ask

[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_00]: And will not get another chance for that closure until later on when he gets home from work

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_00]: All signs point, he flushed it though

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_00]: A comment says to O.P

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry did he tell you what happened to your old fish

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says yes he confirmed whatever infection that had spread in the tank

[00:25:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I killed my better sadly

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Other comment says I'm so sorry for your loss

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I can only imagine how you feel after this

[00:25:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you can look into rehoming the imposter just so he's not given up on but neither a you

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Also glad to hear you stood up for yourself and say goodbye to that mini head

[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you'd lied about your pets life

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_00]: You know is what I'll see at lie about he's got some growing up to do

[00:25:51] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P says thank you, I will say that rehoming the fish

[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's not been a thought I've dawned on at all

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_00]: That's just not how I roll you know

[00:25:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to think about how scared that fish must have been

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Getting into that new environment

[00:26:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to be sure my boyfriend actually rid the infection of the tank before plopping a new fish in there

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't send off a possibly sixth fish that no contribution to my boyfriend's actions

[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll never forgive myself for punishing his little life for things he can't help

[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I will be keeping him and making sure he has a great life

[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be replacing quite literally everything in the tank and deep cleaning my filters though

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't know seems to be very healthy as of right now that

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And in response to a deleted comment O.P says it's way deeper than the fish

[00:26:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I've mentioned in other comments that would be an arguing a lot more since before the fish

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_00]: It's the honesty and betrayal just happened to be the final straw

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, be your input and

[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_00]: The last comment about the name

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_00]: O.P laughs and says named him to know because I don't know where the hell this fish came from

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I do now but at the time I didn't and it was fitting

[00:26:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you

[00:26:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm not saying that he should have done that

[00:26:59] [SPEAKER_00]: But if he was going to go down this plan of trying to replace a fish with another

[00:27:05] [SPEAKER_00]: At least try to get it right

[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Right

[00:27:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Damn, O.P sounds like a wholesome person

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_00]: You know the way they talk about the fish and love their fish at the same time

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's wonderful but now I am sorry that you had to go through that originally

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Situation after your own fish tanks by the way?

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I just have someone I was younger with a variety of different fish

[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_00]: If you guys got your own tanks don't forget to send me your pictures over at

[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Mark Noirations over on Twitter x

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever you want to call it would love to see it and just a huge thank you for being here today

[00:27:39] [SPEAKER_00]: In a world in the story you'll love your support your time always means

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one

[00:27:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Kack

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm much love

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_01]: While you always have your best skills

[00:28:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Try the best discs from Pesir

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll see you guys soon