I Was Invited To A Wedding, However There's A HUGE CATCH r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider? Can I like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now, today's first story comes from Eden Capwell and says, Am I wrong? Invited to a wedding, but there's a catch.

[00:00:28] I was happy to see a wedding invitation in my mailbox. I pulled it out and a little note fell out on an index card, but I looked at the invitation first. It was truly beautiful and I immediately stuck it to my fridge like the work of art it was. It was addressed to my husband and me and I was beyond stoked. I love weddings. I tend to get teary eyed and smile until my face hurts at the joy of new beginnings and all the love. I was even a wedding singer.

[00:00:58] That's how much I love them. I picked up the note card and read that and while my husband was invited, I'd be in another room helping to babysit all the children with several other female invitees. There's a special room for children at the church and that's where I'd be. For everything. I'd still need to dress for a wedding in case I wind up in any photos. But I'd be taking my reception meal with the children and I'd be with all the kids for the ceremony.

[00:01:27] Then there was a link for their gift registry. Oh, and the meals for my husband and myself would be $100 each. And we have a link to pay it and we digitally RSVP.

[00:01:38] The first problem here is that I am disabled at 50 years old. Legally, I use oxygen. I use a walker when I need to walk long distances. I sometimes have to give up the walker entirely and use a wheelchair. I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

[00:01:55] I could happily sit in a room and look at kids, but I'd be pretty useless to prevent a fall or stop a child from choking or anything else that will require me to move quickly.

[00:02:04] Second, my husband isn't the one who has been friends with these people since childhood. I am.

[00:02:10] Why would he be invited to watch the ceremony and be part of the reception, but not me?

[00:02:14] My husband said he'd happily watch the kids and let me attend the wedding and reception, but the invitation specified that only other female invitees would be watching the kids.

[00:02:25] So I doubt they'd let him.

[00:02:27] Is this a normal thing at weddings now? You pick guests to babysit other guest children?

[00:02:33] Should I call them up and explain my health situation, even though they already know it, and visit me during my multiple hospitalizations a year?

[00:02:41] I hate having to pull the health card, but honestly, what were they thinking?

[00:02:46] I confess that I feel offended and hurt that I'm nothing more than a babysitter to them who is expected to pay for my supper and babysit for free.

[00:02:55] But I'd be wrong to simply tell them we won't be able to attend and to find another sitter.

[00:03:00] And if we don't go, do we still send a gift?

[00:03:04] Gee whiz, we're at that time of year with bride and groom zillas, aren't we? Holy moly.

[00:03:10] I have to say what I usually say in situations like this, the way it feels is, that's not a friend.

[00:03:17] Imagine receiving an invitation, opening it to say, oh, you're looking after a bunch of kids.

[00:03:22] It's absolute cheeky bastards.

[00:03:25] Not only that, it's only females allowed.

[00:03:28] So we'll sprinkle a little bit of misogyny on top of this shit cake.

[00:03:33] Oh, and guess what?

[00:03:34] You have to pay $100 for your meal as well.

[00:03:36] And, you know, don't get yourself in the photos.

[00:03:38] And to top it all off, they want a gift at the same time.

[00:03:42] They want a gift for you babysitting in their wedding.

[00:03:46] Oh my word, the level of audacity.

[00:03:49] So it brings me nicely round to what I said at the start.

[00:03:52] This is not a friend.

[00:03:54] This is an arsehole.

[00:03:57] Fabacca says, send your and your husband's regrets and don't send a gift.

[00:04:02] These people are clearly not the friends you thought they were.

[00:04:05] Everything about this invitation is just wrong.

[00:04:08] Not the arsehole and consider re-evaluating your relationship with this couple.

[00:04:12] This is not normal.

[00:04:15] Mr. says, these people aren't your friends.

[00:04:18] Accept that.

[00:04:19] Don't charge people to attend your wedding.

[00:04:22] This is just silliness.

[00:04:23] They want you to be an unpaid employee.

[00:04:26] Decline and do not send a gift or a card.

[00:04:30] Avon says, I'm wondering if this was done on purpose.

[00:04:33] Like they felt they had to invite OP.

[00:04:35] Possibly due to family expectations if long-time friends.

[00:04:39] But deliberately added the note to make OP as uncomfortable as possible and not want to come.

[00:04:44] Also, who the hell tells guests they're babysitting instead of asking first?

[00:04:49] Let alone expecting guests to pay for their meal.

[00:04:53] Scully says, you are not wrong.

[00:04:54] This is tacky as hell.

[00:04:56] Do not go and I wouldn't send a gift either.

[00:04:58] These people are clearly not real friends.

[00:05:01] I don't even think I'd give them one if I went if I had to babysit and buy my own dinner.

[00:05:05] Your so-called friends are beyond rude.

[00:05:08] This is appalling.

[00:05:11] Naughty Experiences says, not wrong.

[00:05:13] What nationality are these people?

[00:05:15] Who are these people to you?

[00:05:17] I don't know anyone with any self-respect who would accept this invitation.

[00:05:21] That is absolutely ridiculous.

[00:05:24] OP replies saying, we're all American.

[00:05:26] I've known and been friends with the bride's parents since forever.

[00:05:29] Around five years old when I met the bride's father.

[00:05:32] My mother, rest in peace, was best friends with the bride's grandmother since she was a kid too.

[00:05:38] So the bride's mom was like my sister growing up.

[00:05:41] We've been there for every one of the bride's birthdays and graduations from high school and college.

[00:05:47] Tackle in says, in quotes, I'm not proud of it but there it is.

[00:05:51] And then says, sorry to not reply to your initial question.

[00:05:53] But this comment caught my attention.

[00:05:55] I just wanted to let you know that you should actually be very proud of yourself and your body.

[00:06:00] For pushing through and using the equipment that is needed to support your body well.

[00:06:05] OP replies saying, thank you so much.

[00:06:07] I never expected this to be my reality at 50 years old.

[00:06:11] Never.

[00:06:11] I went from being healthy and doing all kinds of sports.

[00:06:15] I rocked roller derby and could swim like a fish and love to play tennis.

[00:06:20] To this.

[00:06:20] And sometimes I feel like it's not even my own body I'm living in anymore.

[00:06:25] It's just not okay.

[00:06:26] Therapy has helped me accept it but it's an uphill battle that I feel like I can't win.

[00:06:31] So thank you.

[00:06:32] From the bottom of my heart.

[00:06:33] Thank you.

[00:06:34] Just jumping in one more time.

[00:06:36] Just because I always picture like scenarios of what happened leading up to this point.

[00:06:41] Like there was a moment where whoever it was was sat down writing these invitations.

[00:06:48] Writing them.

[00:06:49] Actually thinking about them.

[00:06:51] And it didn't cross their mind about this sounds really shitty.

[00:06:54] I mean what the fuck?

[00:06:57] Anyway.

[00:06:58] OP updated to address some questions.

[00:07:00] They said I know these folks because my mom, rest in peace mom and the bride's grandma were besties.

[00:07:05] So I grew up with the bride's mom as an almost sister to me.

[00:07:09] We went to school together.

[00:07:11] Graduated together.

[00:07:12] Worked at the same place twice.

[00:07:13] And have been super close since.

[00:07:15] The bride is like a goddaughter.

[00:07:17] At least I thought she was.

[00:07:19] I'm gobsmacked here.

[00:07:21] The church where they are getting married is a southern baptist church.

[00:07:25] They aren't members.

[00:07:26] None of us are overly religious.

[00:07:28] They just liked the venue and booked it.

[00:07:30] I've never been inside but it's lovely on the outside.

[00:07:33] And apparently it has a childcare room that is big enough for a bunch of women and kids to hold it comfortably for a wedding and reception.

[00:07:40] We are all American.

[00:07:42] The groom's family is related to my family via marriage.

[00:07:45] And the bride and groom met at my house at a cookout a few years ago.

[00:07:49] I've always been way closer to the bride's family though.

[00:07:52] I knew that there had been a proposal.

[00:07:54] We got facetimed about 10 minutes after it happened.

[00:07:57] And my husband and I cried and laughed and wished them well.

[00:08:00] And oohed and aahed over their story in the ring.

[00:08:03] I was expecting an invitation sure.

[00:08:05] But not like this.

[00:08:07] The last time I had lunch with the bride's mum.

[00:08:09] She told me they were inviting around 200 people.

[00:08:12] So it would be a large wedding with I'm assuming a ton of children.

[00:08:17] No.

[00:08:17] I don't hate kids.

[00:08:19] I love kids.

[00:08:20] I would have loved to have kids of my own.

[00:08:22] But my body just wouldn't do it.

[00:08:23] It took two miscarriages and a stillbirth to finally make me accept that it wouldn't happen for us.

[00:08:29] We're in the process of adult adopting two young adults that we brought into our home when we found out they were kicked out and homeless at 18.

[00:08:37] They lived with us for years and we're making it legal.

[00:08:40] They call us mom and pop and we're a family.

[00:08:43] I'm still considering my options.

[00:08:45] I've started and deleted multiple emails to the bride's mum.

[00:08:49] I'm a raw nerve right now and my tone isn't the kindest.

[00:08:53] I want to keep it all in writing so there can be no he said she said.

[00:08:58] I plan to ask if they incorrectly sent me the note about babysitting since they know I physically cannot do that.

[00:09:04] But every inception of the email led with what the actual fuck Donna.

[00:09:09] So I need to think about it some more.

[00:09:12] Thanks for all the comments.

[00:09:13] I'm reading them all.

[00:09:15] So OP came in with their update and said I spoke to my friend, the mother of the bride and I'm pretty upset.

[00:09:22] I've been bawling for most of the day.

[00:09:24] She called and said that they were getting a lot of backlash from the wedding guests.

[00:09:28] No one wants to pay $100 for dinner and only three of the women asked were okay with babysitting.

[00:09:33] I told her I understood that the guests were upset because it's just tacky to one be asked to pay and two be told you're invited but only to babysit.

[00:09:43] I told her I would not be a babysitter at all.

[00:09:46] No.

[00:09:47] Just no.

[00:09:48] She got mad and brought up how we were lifelong friends.

[00:09:52] She said I'd be helping them more by babysitting than I'd be helping by simply sitting in a pew watching.

[00:09:57] I reminded her that I couldn't physically help at all due to, you know, being legally disabled.

[00:10:03] She said they completely understood that and expected me to simply supervise the other sitters since they trusted me most.

[00:10:11] Again, I told her I felt it was insulting to be voluntold, thanks Reddit for that word, that I'd be babysitting and that I had no desire to do that.

[00:10:20] Especially not dressed in formal wear.

[00:10:23] Then we got to the truth.

[00:10:25] She said that she didn't know if I'd be in a wheelchair that day or require a walker.

[00:10:31] That's fair.

[00:10:32] I didn't always know which one I'll need.

[00:10:34] She said they wanted everyone in pews for the wedding video.

[00:10:38] Ah, fucking it, here we go.

[00:10:40] And me sitting in a wheelchair would make me stick out and ruin videos and photos.

[00:10:45] I said if I needed a wheelchair that day then I can move to a pew and my husband can put the wheelchair in another room or back in our car.

[00:10:52] I may not even need it that day.

[00:10:55] Then she says, well space is limited in the pews.

[00:10:58] You would take up the space of two people with your purse and oxygen tank.

[00:11:03] I said no, I would not.

[00:11:05] I wouldn't bring a purse in and the oxygen tank either sits on my lap or between my feet.

[00:11:10] Just like a little backpack.

[00:11:12] Then she said, well having you in oxygen in the photos would be distracting from the other people.

[00:11:17] And there you have it.

[00:11:19] Words were exchanged and she hung up on me.

[00:11:22] I haven't been removed from any social media yet but I fully expect to be.

[00:11:26] I feel awful for being this way at only 50 years old.

[00:11:30] I didn't choose this.

[00:11:32] I didn't want this.

[00:11:33] If she thinks it's awful to have it photographed.

[00:11:36] Just imagine living with it.

[00:11:38] Which is what I told her before she hung up on me.

[00:11:40] I'm devastated.

[00:11:42] Just devastated.

[00:11:44] Bloody hell OP.

[00:11:46] That's got me going.

[00:11:47] I mean I'm absolutely hurt for you that you're going through that pain because of some selfish ableist tosser.

[00:11:54] OP sounds like such a wonderful caring person.

[00:11:58] And to be treated like that by so-called friends.

[00:12:01] And let's face it, they're not friends.

[00:12:02] They're our souls.

[00:12:04] It's just absolutely disgusting.

[00:12:06] And I'm devastated for OP at the same time.

[00:12:08] I can feel myself boiling up for OP right now.

[00:12:12] I mean before we even got to the update.

[00:12:14] I was checked out of that wedding anyway.

[00:12:17] But the second part is just disgusting.

[00:12:20] True friends would never treat you this way or make you feel less than.

[00:12:24] And I know it's painful OP.

[00:12:26] Of course it is.

[00:12:27] You thought these were your friends.

[00:12:29] But this has revealed their true character in the end.

[00:12:33] And you truly deserve so much better than that.

[00:12:37] You sound like a wonderful person.

[00:12:40] And you need to surround yourself with people who do appreciate you.

[00:12:44] Who do love you.

[00:12:45] And treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.

[00:12:48] With love and respect.

[00:12:49] I know it's going to be difficult to come to terms with all that.

[00:12:52] Like we say in all these posts.

[00:12:53] But I really do wish you all the best going forward.

[00:12:57] Truly.

[00:12:58] My heart goes out to you.

[00:13:00] But now I'm going to turn this story to you guys.

[00:13:03] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:06] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:13:09] And let's move on to another story.

[00:13:13] Now our next story comes from the Today I Messed Up subreddit.

[00:13:17] It has an update four years later as well.

[00:13:21] From Don Teh.

[00:13:21] Who says,

[00:13:22] Today I messed up.

[00:13:23] By texting my date.

[00:13:25] Then I might end up marrying him seconds after we ended our date.

[00:13:29] So the first one was like obviously four years ago.

[00:13:32] This just happened to me literally ten minutes ago.

[00:13:35] I'm dying.

[00:13:36] I'm dead.

[00:13:37] End me now.

[00:13:38] Or Oh Holy Ghost.

[00:13:41] I thought this only happened in some poorly written rom-coms.

[00:13:45] The kind where life hardly imitates the real one.

[00:13:48] I want to bury myself and never come to see the light again.

[00:13:52] Why me?

[00:13:53] Oh why me?

[00:13:57] Ten painfully long minutes ago.

[00:13:59] I exalted by the wonderful date I went with this handsomely gorgeous man.

[00:14:05] Who also happened to be a friend of mine for the last three years.

[00:14:08] Against my apartment door that had just closed on his beautiful face.

[00:14:12] I typed these words that will fiercely haunt me now.

[00:14:16] Bitch.

[00:14:16] I'm going to end up marrying this guy.

[00:14:19] This was meant for my best friend.

[00:14:21] The only other soul I could muster to express my vulnerable feelings.

[00:14:25] I sent this deeply poetic text to him instead.

[00:14:30] Do you think there is a void big enough in this planet to hold all my misery?

[00:14:34] All the embarrassment?

[00:14:36] Do you think I can make a pact with the devil to turn back time?

[00:14:40] I would just need ten minutes.

[00:14:42] That'd be really nice.

[00:14:43] Can I please die now?

[00:14:45] Literal and metaphorical death is the only relief I might know.

[00:14:50] I'm currently in my library sprawled across the floor intently staring at the ceiling.

[00:14:55] Man.

[00:14:56] I think I'll be here forever.

[00:15:00] The OP comes straight in with the first update.

[00:15:02] Get the sassy attitude.

[00:15:04] I love it.

[00:15:05] Bitch.

[00:15:06] I owe you an update.

[00:15:08] Good news.

[00:15:10] There's so much staring at the ceiling one can do before pure boredom kicks in.

[00:15:15] And the realization and the desire to scream fuck fuck fuck at the top of your lungs will most likely not last for an eternity.

[00:15:22] Bad news.

[00:15:23] You guys did me dirty by blasting my still fresh embarrassment on the front page and apparently on a famous Portuguese radio show this morning.

[00:15:32] Cool cool cool.

[00:15:33] So on to the meaty love update.

[00:15:36] Once I realized the text blunder, I quickly text him that it was not meant for him with a crying emoji for good measure.

[00:15:43] Sweet sweet man that he is.

[00:15:45] He responded immediately to let me know that he doesn't read text not meant for him.

[00:15:50] The wink emoji.

[00:15:51] I subsequently asked for permission to die.

[00:15:54] Uh huh.

[00:15:54] He said, please don't.

[00:15:56] This morning he texts me about some travel plans we have down the line.

[00:16:00] Bless this handsome man.

[00:16:03] The gods are cruel but not that cruel.

[00:16:05] This is where I should clarify that the original post was obviously a tad hyperbolic.

[00:16:11] Just like that text.

[00:16:12] Go figure.

[00:16:13] I slept well last night and I also laughed.

[00:16:16] At myself.

[00:16:16] The blunder.

[00:16:17] Just the ridiculous timing.

[00:16:19] What also got imprinted on me was the exact moment I wrote and sent that text.

[00:16:24] The moment he leaned and kissed me goodnight.

[00:16:27] I looked at him and closed my apartment door.

[00:16:29] Locking it and at once turning around and heavily sighing and smiling.

[00:16:34] Keys still in hand.

[00:16:36] Two weeks ago he had proposed going on a walk at the park.

[00:16:39] Had an inkling somehow that after knowing each other for three years.

[00:16:43] He was going to finally perhaps become vulnerable and share a few things.

[00:16:48] Had been in a serious relationship when we met.

[00:16:51] And what I know now to be out of respect and my ironclad boundaries.

[00:16:55] He never made any advances.

[00:16:57] But I was single now.

[00:16:59] At the park.

[00:17:00] Sitting there together.

[00:17:01] He looked at me and said he had feelings for me.

[00:17:03] Long time.

[00:17:05] Three year long feelings.

[00:17:07] And right there at Prospect Park on a clear night.

[00:17:10] Under some 35 visible stars.

[00:17:12] We counted.

[00:17:13] He kissed me.

[00:17:15] Dramatic.

[00:17:16] Last night it was my turn to be vulnerable.

[00:17:19] Even if accidentally.

[00:17:21] For once I think I understand Ted.

[00:17:24] He was always the guy I wanted to throw my shoe at whenever his ridiculous face showed up on the screen.

[00:17:28] Which was a lot.

[00:17:30] As for the library.

[00:17:31] I'm not Jane Austen.

[00:17:33] But I'm a New Yorker.

[00:17:34] And the luxury of ample space is not something I recognize.

[00:17:38] My dream as a child refugee growing up in deep poverty.

[00:17:41] Was to have a dedicated place for all the books I could buy when I grow up and have money.

[00:17:46] Here's a pic of my library nook.

[00:17:48] That I built through the vintage thrifting.

[00:17:50] DIY projects and patients.

[00:17:52] The library.

[00:17:53] This is it folks.

[00:17:54] The updates.

[00:17:55] I might prefer this life over any rom-com.

[00:17:58] So Opie explained the pic of the library and said.

[00:18:01] You guys.

[00:18:01] It's not a literal library.

[00:18:03] It's a corner of my apartment.

[00:18:04] I've turned into a library nook.

[00:18:06] Also for what it's worth.

[00:18:07] This is an embarrassing story.

[00:18:08] That just literally happened to me.

[00:18:10] But believe me.

[00:18:11] As a refugee.

[00:18:11] You have suffered through deep poverty from early childhood.

[00:18:15] I'm well aware of all the hardships existing out there.

[00:18:18] Now let me go back to staring at the ceiling.

[00:18:20] Another commenter says.

[00:18:22] You just ruined my mental picture of you in a dramatic swoon.

[00:18:25] Across a plush tapestry.

[00:18:26] On the floor of a dusty Victorian library.

[00:18:30] Cheeks flushed.

[00:18:31] And with the back of your hand across your forehead.

[00:18:34] Muttering things like.

[00:18:35] Woe it's me.

[00:18:36] And barely I am vexed.

[00:18:41] Lady K says.

[00:18:42] Make it into a joke.

[00:18:43] Bring up that's what they say in those rom-coms.

[00:18:46] And honestly just make it a laughable experience for both.

[00:18:49] Example.

[00:18:52] Bitch.

[00:18:52] I think I'm going to end up marrying this guy.

[00:18:54] Says every girl on a rom-com.

[00:18:56] Make it into a quote.

[00:18:57] I don't know how to explain it.

[00:18:59] But I'm the type of person.

[00:19:00] To turn my fuck up into a joke.

[00:19:02] Hope he says.

[00:19:03] I'm probably going to greet him with a chirpy.

[00:19:05] Hi husband.

[00:19:06] Next time I see him.

[00:19:07] Sweet says.

[00:19:08] You can only refer to him as bitch from here on out.

[00:19:13] So.

[00:19:14] The four year later update.

[00:19:18] It's titled.

[00:19:19] Bitch.

[00:19:20] We got married.

[00:19:21] Three years after I mistakenly pressed send.

[00:19:24] Texting this gorgeous.

[00:19:25] Just a specimen of a guy.

[00:19:27] I would marry him.

[00:19:28] Seconds after.

[00:19:29] Ending our first date.

[00:19:31] Key still in hand.

[00:19:32] As I struggled to both text.

[00:19:33] Unlock the door.

[00:19:34] And subsequently sprawled across my library.

[00:19:37] Wishing for the floor to engulf me.

[00:19:39] I did end up marrying the man.

[00:19:41] Damn.

[00:19:42] What in the world life?

[00:19:43] Thought I'd let you guys know.

[00:19:45] Since you did help me with your funny comments.

[00:19:47] And shared shameful moments.

[00:19:48] To eventually get myself up that fateful evening.

[00:19:51] Dust myself off.

[00:19:52] And not commit cringe seppuku.

[00:19:54] It's been three years of pure joy.

[00:19:57] And he's still as dreamy and kind you guys.

[00:20:00] And it was kids.

[00:20:01] That's how I met your father after all.

[00:20:03] See you in the next chapter.

[00:20:07] And what an absolutely lovely story to end on.

[00:20:12] And I love the way OP writes.

[00:20:14] Such a sassy so and so.

[00:20:16] Holy moly.

[00:20:18] Huge congratulations if you ever do get to hear this.

[00:20:22] So happy for you to be living your best life right now with your husband.

[00:20:27] It sounds like you're having an absolutely wonderful time.

[00:20:30] Random thing popped into my head when you was counting the stars.

[00:20:34] And you only counted so many.

[00:20:35] You know.

[00:20:35] Mainly living in cities myself.

[00:20:38] It's always the same with light pollution and stuff.

[00:20:40] You barely see anything.

[00:20:41] Random comment here.

[00:20:42] A couple of years back went to France.

[00:20:44] And you know.

[00:20:45] In the middle of nowhere pretty much.

[00:20:48] No lights at all in a village I was staying in.

[00:20:50] And you go outside.

[00:20:51] And the sky is just filled.

[00:20:54] It was mind blowing.

[00:20:55] I know it shouldn't be mind blowing.

[00:20:57] But it was to actually see it.

[00:20:59] You ever get the chance to just go out in the middle of nowhere.

[00:21:01] And if you're a city boy or girl like myself.

[00:21:04] And you've never seen it before.

[00:21:05] And you get the chance to go out in the middle of nowhere.

[00:21:07] And just look up at the sky on a clear night.

[00:21:10] It is mind blowing.

[00:21:11] But anyway.

[00:21:12] Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:21:15] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:21:18] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:21] And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[00:21:23] For getting involved in today's stories.

[00:21:25] Your love.

[00:21:26] Your support.

[00:21:26] Your time.

[00:21:27] Always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:29] So thank you so so much for being involved.

[00:21:31] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:34] Take care.

[00:21:35] And much love.