I Want To Use The "Hall Pass" My Wife Gave Me 5 Years Ago When SHE Cheated r/Relationships

[00:00:03] What is up Waffle Gang? I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories, of course. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:22] It comes from ClassicContext from the AmITheArseWallHere subreddit and says, AmITheArseWallHere for wanting to use the hall pass my wife gave me 5 years ago when she cheated on me. Bad idea.

[00:00:33] Bad idea, I'm saying it already. My wife, 35 female and I, 35 male, have been married for 10 years. We have 2 children, 9 female, 7 male.

[00:00:44] 5 years ago I found out that my wife had an affair. I felt crushed and numb because I loved my wife a lot. Her affair partner told me about it when my wife called it off. The affair lasted 1 month and my wife had called it off because she felt really guilty about it.

[00:01:00] When I confronted my wife about it, she was very remorseful and didn't deny anything. She said she'd do anything, follow any reconciliation steps I asked and just beg to not break up our family.

[00:01:13] I asked her why she cheated and she gave no excuses and she just said it was full of thrill. My first reaction was to divorce but after sitting on it for a week, I decided to just stick it out for our family because I still loved my wife.

[00:01:28] My wife was very thankful and she even told me I had a hall pass I could use whenever I wanted. Over the next year or so, my wife followed the reconciliation steps which included therapy, getting sober, quitting her job and a bunch of other things.

[00:01:43] I'd forgiven my wife but I could never forget it. I would occasionally just replay in my mind my wife cheating on me and that always hurt a lot.

[00:01:52] Fast forward to today, my family is doing great. However, I have struck a friendship with Melissa, 32 female who I've met at a bookstore.

[00:02:02] A bit common interest in books or existentialism, metaphysics and similar books. I don't know how but when we met, we just clicked.

[00:02:10] We initially met every week at the bookstore just to discuss books and life but we started talking more about our personal life and when we started going on coffee breaks and brunches.

[00:02:20] One more thing we had in common was that Melissa, too, was married to her husband who cheated on her many years ago.

[00:02:27] It's been almost a year since I met her and Melissa has made it up front that she has very strong feelings for me and that she's never had these feelings for anyone else ever in her life.

[00:02:37] I, too, have a lot of feelings for her but I feel guilty about it so I haven't told her about them yet.

[00:02:43] I haven't crossed any physical boundaries and I don't intend to.

[00:02:46] We only hug and hold hands.

[00:02:49] But I do want to explore more of an emotional connection to her because I've never felt like this ever.

[00:02:54] I remember that my wife gave me a hall pass five years ago when she cheated on me.

[00:02:59] Would I be the asshole to use that hall pass to explore the emotional connection I have with Melissa?

[00:03:06] I would have looked at this like a hall pass is like for a one-night stand that you can go and sleep with someone.

[00:03:12] Not that I think that's the right way to go about it either.

[00:03:15] I just think using this hall pass is just creating a whole other can of worms kind of thing.

[00:03:20] But the fact that you're going to use this pass to see if you have an emotional connection with someone, you know, come on, man.

[00:03:27] If you're going to break it off, break it off.

[00:03:29] Don't drag this out.

[00:03:30] It sounds like you're already having an emotional affair.

[00:03:32] You're hugging, you're holding hands with a married woman.

[00:03:35] You said that you stuck it out, but it sounds like you haven't really moved on the fact that you're even considering this in the first place.

[00:03:42] I just don't think this is going to end well.

[00:03:44] And if you're getting to this point, is it time for that divorce?

[00:03:47] That's the question in my head, especially, you know, you've got two children as well.

[00:03:51] Don't fuck around with their lives.

[00:03:53] But Hart According says the fact that Melissa is cheating on her husband doesn't make her better than your wife.

[00:03:59] Mrs. Surge Defiant says makes her worse than the wife.

[00:04:03] It's been going on for a year and she's admitted feelings not breaking it off.

[00:04:07] Why did Melissa not divorce the husband before sharing her feelings?

[00:04:11] All the adults in this story are arseholes.

[00:04:14] Another commenter says I'd argue that the wife is no longer an arsehole as she's done serious work on herself.

[00:04:19] But surely OP and as a fair partner are arseholes?

[00:04:23] Yes.

[00:04:29] That's really fucked in my opinion.

[00:04:32] He got a physical hall pass, not an emotional one.

[00:04:34] And if he's wanting to explore an emotional relationship like that, he needs to divorce first and foremost.

[00:04:40] Frog or Cat says OP is actually cheating on his wife and has been for a year.

[00:04:44] He's having an emotional affair.

[00:04:47] Pull on a Sleigh says a whole affair.

[00:04:49] They're holding hands and stuff.

[00:04:51] I can't think of any situation it'd be okay for a married man to intimately hold hands with another married woman.

[00:04:57] This situation is full of selfish people.

[00:05:01] Paul Palmer says,

[00:05:02] Dude, you may not be having a physical affair in your eyes with Melissa, but you're already cheating on your wife by an emotional affair.

[00:05:09] I think you're cheating holding hands and hugging her because you aren't doing that as friends but intimate contact.

[00:05:15] It's obvious you haven't forgiven your wife.

[00:05:17] And at this point, the kindest thing is divorce and that you both live your own life.

[00:05:22] Sloth says,

[00:05:23] The hall pass is for a one night stand with someone you're attracted to.

[00:05:27] But that's it.

[00:05:28] The hall pass is not to deepen an emotional connection you have with someone by adding sex into the mix.

[00:05:34] I would just tell your wife you want a divorce because chances are your wife will ask you for one when you tell her about Melissa.

[00:05:40] She's definitely going to find out that this is someone you're already in love with.

[00:05:44] Just be honest and say that you never really forgave or forgot the affair and that you want a divorce.

[00:05:49] Because chances are, if you do use your hall pass with Melissa, you'll probably want to end things with your wife.

[00:05:55] Since you and Melissa already have feelings for each other.

[00:05:58] She doesn't seem like someone you want to use just for sex and never see again.

[00:06:02] You know, like how hall passes usually work.

[00:06:05] And honestly, it's clear to see that you never really got over your wife's affair.

[00:06:09] Or you wouldn't be holding on to the idea of not being able to cash in a hall pass five years later.

[00:06:15] Not that you or anyone needs to get over an affair by any means.

[00:06:18] I mean that you didn't truly forgive her.

[00:06:21] Or you wouldn't feel the need to do the same to her.

[00:06:23] Even if she said you could because deep down, I'm sure she didn't really mean that.

[00:06:27] No one is truly okay with giving their partner a pass to sleep with whoever they want.

[00:06:34] Numbers then says also it's important to know that the affair with Melissa has already happened.

[00:06:40] They meet up every week.

[00:06:42] Dawn dates, talk and flirt with each other.

[00:06:44] And they've started a relationship.

[00:06:46] Just because he hasn't put his P in her V doesn't mean that this isn't an affair.

[00:06:51] And he's been cheating on his wife with Melissa for over a year.

[00:06:55] I also wonder if OP's wife even knows about Melissa.

[00:06:58] He probably just meets up with a friend but completely lies about her name and gender.

[00:07:03] So OP came in shortly after this with a small update and says thank you everyone for your advice.

[00:07:12] I've decided not to use the hall pass as I don't really feel too great about it.

[00:07:17] And it wouldn't be fair to my wife.

[00:07:19] I want to clarify what I meant by using the hall pass.

[00:07:22] I had no intentions of proceeding with any sexual activity.

[00:07:26] But instead deepening my emotional connection with Melissa.

[00:07:29] And may have at worst included kissing.

[00:07:31] She tried to kiss me once but I rejected it because I felt guilty about it.

[00:07:36] I text Melissa and let her know.

[00:07:38] And while she was disappointed.

[00:07:40] She asked if we could still remain friends like we are now.

[00:07:43] And I told her sure.

[00:07:45] And she was very happy about it.

[00:07:46] I do like hanging out with Melissa a lot and talking about life.

[00:07:50] I also get that flutters and excited energy.

[00:07:53] And I like that a lot.

[00:07:57] Ooh deary deary me.

[00:07:58] As you can imagine there were some comments after that lazy instruction says

[00:08:01] you can't remain friends like you are now.

[00:08:04] Wow.

[00:08:06] Impressive Basis says remaining friends like they are now is emotional cheating

[00:08:10] and crossing so many lines already.

[00:08:13] All this time and energy invested into Melissa that isn't being invested into his family,

[00:08:18] his marriage and his wife.

[00:08:19] Her one month thing that she has done the work to fix doesn't justify a lifetime of this.

[00:08:24] Wow.

[00:08:25] This is so sad.

[00:08:27] Another commenter says you have two and only two choices that have integrity.

[00:08:33] One, both you and Melissa get divorced and then be together.

[00:08:36] Two, cut all ties with Melissa forever.

[00:08:39] Anything else and you are going to hurt yourself and everyone you care about.

[00:08:45] And I can't help my mind just going back to the children and thinking, you know,

[00:08:49] they have absolutely zero control, zero saying any of this, but they're still stuck in the

[00:08:55] middle of this mess.

[00:08:56] And that breaks my heart for them, honestly.

[00:08:58] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:09:02] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:09:05] And let's have another story.

[00:09:08] Now our next story comes from Coworker Stories subreddit from LogicalWasabi7402 and says,

[00:09:17] I met the seasonal baker yesterday.

[00:09:20] I'm working at a local camp for the summer.

[00:09:23] It's well known in certain circles, but most people outside those circles have never heard of it.

[00:09:29] They're open year round, though most of the time is off season.

[00:09:33] I'm working as what they call utility, which is basically the kitchen dishwasher.

[00:09:39] FOH, which it says is front of house.

[00:09:42] Dishes have an entirely separate dish pit with an actual dishwasher machine,

[00:09:46] but also being a spare set of hands as needed around the kitchen.

[00:09:50] Yesterday was the baker's first day.

[00:09:53] The full-time permanent kitchen manager tells him how to check the menu schedule,

[00:09:58] cafeteria style serving lines, 14 day menu rotation.

[00:10:02] And tells him that we need two big sheet cakes for Wednesday.

[00:10:06] So he finds the book and makes the cakes.

[00:10:09] Then spends over an hour trying to make a powdered sugar icing with the buttercream,

[00:10:14] and covers both cakes in this sticky mess.

[00:10:17] Note, we do large volumes of desserts over the summer,

[00:10:21] like hundreds of servings per meal.

[00:10:23] The boss orders a special kind of buttercream that is labeled directly on the carton,

[00:10:28] ready to whip buttercream.

[00:10:30] I, the dishwasher, had to teach this middle-aged man how to use the whisk attachment on a standard

[00:10:36] KitchenAid mixer to make a basic whipped cream frosting.

[00:10:40] And then he told me all about how mean some random people were when they asked him to

[00:10:45] please stop throwing things at our horses,

[00:10:47] because he was just trying to feed them some apples.

[00:10:50] This summer is going to be interesting, if nothing else.

[00:10:55] So we're going to go straight into a couple of the top comments and straight into the update,

[00:10:58] which came three months later.

[00:11:00] So your mum sucks, says.

[00:11:02] Great name by the way.

[00:11:03] This might seem mean.

[00:11:05] But if I were you, I'd just stand by and let him drown in his lack of knowledge,

[00:11:08] or whatever is going on with him.

[00:11:10] How did he even get hired when he doesn't know how to use a whisk attachment?

[00:11:14] Just shrug like, I don't know, I'm just a dishwasher bro.

[00:11:17] Not that I think being a dishwasher isn't hard.

[00:11:21] Madam Kitsun says,

[00:11:23] This sounds a lot like the camp my husband worked for way back in the day,

[00:11:27] at least 30 years ago.

[00:11:29] Yikes.

[00:11:30] He was maintenance, which means he was the go-to guy if something needed done,

[00:11:34] and there wasn't anyone else to do it.

[00:11:36] He was the guy.

[00:11:37] The nepotism was strong.

[00:11:40] He was happy to have left, but I remember him telling similar stories.

[00:11:44] Opie says,

[00:11:45] There's some wacky ones.

[00:11:46] But housekeeping always gets at least one every year that goes,

[00:11:50] My nanny does it for me, so I don't know how.

[00:11:52] Lol.

[00:11:54] So, three months later, Opie came in and said,

[00:11:57] Heyo, you might remember me from my last post about a seasonal baker,

[00:12:01] who basically just seemed incompetent.

[00:12:03] But it turns out to have been a lot bigger than just a guy who lied about his skill set.

[00:12:08] So first off, a few weeks after my last post,

[00:12:11] he got caught smoking weed on the property,

[00:12:13] which is a flat, no tolerance, as stated in the employee handbook and the onboarding paperwork.

[00:12:19] He was physically escorted off the property by the head of security when he started a fight with his roommate,

[00:12:25] who also happened to be one of the kitchen assistant managers,

[00:12:28] and was the one who caught him smoking weed in the assigned housing.

[00:12:32] Because he was fired and escorted off,

[00:12:34] he was trespassed and added to the do not rehire list.

[00:12:37] Also, I got promoted to take his place.

[00:12:41] The baker is the single non-supervisory position at the top tier of their pay scale.

[00:12:45] At one point, I swore I saw him sitting on a street corner in town with a cardboard sign,

[00:12:50] begging for change.

[00:12:52] We didn't actually get homeless beggars in my town because of how low the population is,

[00:12:56] so this stood out.

[00:12:58] A few weeks after that, assistant manager's car is found with tires slashed,

[00:13:02] and lots of stuff scratched into the paint.

[00:13:04] Security can't do anything because the guy is no longer on property and has committed an actual crime,

[00:13:09] so the county police got involved.

[00:13:11] With them all on his trail, they find out that he's also been ducking child support for years,

[00:13:17] which is considered a felony.

[00:13:19] They find and arrest him, and it turns out he had 11 total felonies against him.

[00:13:24] How this guy passed the background check, I don't know.

[00:13:27] I found out recently that he told one of the younger, but still adult,

[00:13:31] everyone has to be 18 to work at this camp.

[00:13:34] Women we work with that he would make her his slave.

[00:13:37] Called one of the others the least empathetic person he's ever met,

[00:13:41] because she jokingly told him no when he asked for a strawberry.

[00:13:45] He literally was turning around to hand him one at the same time.

[00:13:48] Was talking all sorts of crap about everyone behind their backs.

[00:13:52] Yes, including me.

[00:13:53] He didn't like that I knew more than him,

[00:13:55] and smaller things that individually weren't a big deal, but together add up.

[00:13:59] Oh, and he lives in the next town over.

[00:14:03] I thought you guys would appreciate this update.

[00:14:06] But I never understand how people like actually get through an interview like that.

[00:14:11] If he couldn't manage a whisk, surely some of the other questions were going to catch him out, right?

[00:14:16] I mean, come on.

[00:14:17] How did he blag his way through that?

[00:14:20] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:14:23] Have you had a co-worker before they didn't know what the bloody hell they were doing?

[00:14:27] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:14:30] Let's move on to another story,

[00:14:33] which is coming from the true off my chest subreddit from rareinteraction6271,

[00:14:39] and says I found something I wasn't supposed to do in my boyfriend's travel bag.

[00:14:44] I, 28 female, have been with my boyfriend, 29 male, for almost five years.

[00:14:49] Her anniversary is next month.

[00:14:51] My boyfriend often travels for work, but most of his business trips are typically three to five days.

[00:14:57] A few weeks ago, he let me know that his work travel will be increasing for the rest of the year,

[00:15:02] including him being gone most of next month, as well as almost two months at the end of the year.

[00:15:07] The most time we've spent apart is two weeks, so I was sad to hear he'd be gone for so long.

[00:15:13] But I understand it is necessary for his job.

[00:15:16] We went out of town together this past weekend before his business trip,

[00:15:20] and he prepped his belongings so that he wouldn't have to repack before heading back out for work this morning.

[00:15:25] We got home Sunday, we flew out for work Monday at 6am,

[00:15:29] and will be gone for most of this coming month,

[00:15:31] aside from a few small weekend trips we have together.

[00:15:34] He hasn't acted strangely at all with his belongings,

[00:15:37] and has been acting completely normal in our day-to-day lives.

[00:15:41] The other morning, while he wasn't in our hotel room,

[00:15:44] I grabbed this toiletry bag, that was packed in his suitcase,

[00:15:48] to steal his deodorant.

[00:15:49] I prefer to use his over mine.

[00:15:52] He he.

[00:15:54] I love a he he.

[00:15:55] And saw something I wasn't prepared to see.

[00:15:58] In his bag was a small white box.

[00:16:01] I was still half asleep when I grabbed the deodorant.

[00:16:04] So at the moment, I didn't give it a second thought.

[00:16:07] But later on, I realized what I saw, and thought to myself,

[00:16:10] Did I dream that?

[00:16:12] Or was that actually what I thought it was?

[00:16:14] So, unless this man has a whole secret life that I know nothing about,

[00:16:19] unlikely, I may soon become a fiancé.

[00:16:22] I can't tell anyone about this,

[00:16:24] because I don't want anyone to know that I ruined my own surprise over some deodorant.

[00:16:28] I will update if I was right.

[00:16:30] Otherwise, we'll be having a whole other conversation.

[00:16:33] Lol.

[00:16:35] Hit it for context.

[00:16:36] I likely won't have any updates for a couple of weeks.

[00:16:39] He's traveling for work for the next month.

[00:16:41] We have a couple of small weekend getaways during this time,

[00:16:44] so we'll likely only see him for a couple of days at a time in the next month.

[00:16:48] No, I didn't look in the box, so I'm not assuming anything at this point.

[00:16:55] You know Reddit's going to be going crazy over this one.

[00:16:59] It's going to be like, like OP said, whole other family somewhere.

[00:17:04] Or, you know, he's proposing.

[00:17:06] Let's hope it goes down that route.

[00:17:07] We want to end on a nice little story, don't we?

[00:17:10] But trick delivery, we're saying pretty much the same thing.

[00:17:14] Reddit crazy coming in hot.

[00:17:15] What?

[00:17:16] The T.

[00:17:18] I don't know why I said that.

[00:17:19] He has a whole other life, slash girlfriend, and the days he isn't with you.

[00:17:24] He's with her.

[00:17:25] So let's see if she gets the ring.

[00:17:27] You do, or you both do.

[00:17:29] Hopefully, that is totally a joke and you have a beautiful life with him.

[00:17:32] OP says, I would have thought my multiple personalities would be enough to keep him invested.

[00:17:38] Shave me Jesus says, so now the poor guy has to buy three rings?

[00:17:43] OP says, maybe if he has another girlfriend, then we can all share the ring.

[00:17:47] Like sisterhood of the traveling pants.

[00:17:50] We'll just mail it back and forth.

[00:17:52] Cumberdick says, what the hell are these names?

[00:17:56] Says, do you have the ring and the husband at the same time, or do they alternate?

[00:18:00] OP says, hmm, that's a good question.

[00:18:02] I guess the easiest option would be to have them both at the same time.

[00:18:07] Starry Knight says, well, did you peek into the little white box?

[00:18:12] Because not to ruin it, but I definitely thought I saw a ring box once, and it turned out to be earrings.

[00:18:17] I did eventually get a ring from the same guy, and we've been married almost 20 years.

[00:18:21] But it was nowhere near when I saw said box.

[00:18:24] OP says, I didn't look inside.

[00:18:26] It didn't feel right to do that.

[00:18:28] I was tempted though.

[00:18:29] Maybe it is a necklace.

[00:18:31] Maybe it's a ring.

[00:18:32] Maybe it's a really cool rock.

[00:18:34] I wouldn't be upset at a really cool rock now that I think about it.

[00:18:38] Earrings would be out of the question since I wear gauges.

[00:18:41] So happy to hear you eventually got that ring.

[00:18:44] Almost 20 years is beautiful.

[00:18:46] Wish you lots of love and many more great memories together.

[00:18:50] So, one month later, what we've been waiting for.

[00:18:54] Hello online friends.

[00:18:55] The long awaited update is here.

[00:18:58] If you haven't seen my other post, here's a summary.

[00:19:00] Take the title at face value.

[00:19:02] Except what I found was a small white box in my boyfriend's toiletry bag while I was looking for deodorant.

[00:19:07] A box that could have a piece of small jewelry inside.

[00:19:11] I didn't open the box because one, I was half asleep and didn't realize what I saw until afterwards.

[00:19:16] And two, I didn't go back to be nosy about it.

[00:19:20] But on to the update.

[00:19:22] He proposed.

[00:19:23] He originally planned on proposing during that trip since we were traveling with our photographer friend.

[00:19:28] Completely unrelated trip, so I wouldn't have expected it either way.

[00:19:32] But my best friend had pointed out that my nails weren't done.

[00:19:36] Shout out to her, but I also wouldn't have cared either way.

[00:19:39] So, he decided to hold off.

[00:19:41] As I mentioned, he was going to be away for work for a total of about a month.

[00:19:45] So, as some had warned, there is no side chick.

[00:19:48] Although, if that ever changes, I'll let you all know.

[00:19:51] He was traveling with a ring since we had a couple of small getaways planned in between his work schedule.

[00:19:56] And he ended up proposing the next weekend while we were completely alone.

[00:20:00] And it was perfect.

[00:20:02] I'm a strong believer in the universe and everything happening for a reason.

[00:20:06] The ring is beautiful and I could not be happier.

[00:20:10] I even found the perfect rock during this trip that I would cherish forever.

[00:20:14] Thank you all for the kind comments and encouragements.

[00:20:17] This man treats me like a princess and I'm so very excited to spend the rest of our lives together.

[00:20:22] It's truly something special and I plan to give him the world for the rest of my days.

[00:20:27] So happy I could give you all a positive update.

[00:20:30] As some had mentioned, it felt like a breath of fresh air to read a light-hearted story on here.

[00:20:34] Oh, that's absolutely lovely.

[00:20:37] You know, what I was really disappointed about, there was no rock tax.

[00:20:41] I love a good rock.

[00:20:43] But if you ever do get to hear this OP, I wish you and your fiancé all the best going forward.

[00:20:49] I hope your wedding is absolutely wonderful.

[00:20:52] But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:55] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:58] Have you got a cool rock collection?

[00:20:59] Don't forget to message me at MarkNarrations over on Twitter.

[00:21:04] I'd love to see him.

[00:21:07] God, I'm a sad bastard, aren't I?

[00:21:09] Anyway, much love to you and I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:12] Take care and much love.