I Tricked My Sister-In-Law Into Stealing My Baby Name r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account and says, am I the arsehole here for tricking my sister-in-law into stealing our baby name? Cheeky.

[00:00:29] So, I, 33 female, have been married to my husband Kevin, 35 male, for 5 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and I'm currently pregnant with twins, male and female. My brother-in-law Terence, 38 male, has been married to his wife Jess, 39 female, for 7 years. Jess and I are total opposites. Jess is an extrovert. She's kind of loud, boisterous and some would even say abrasive. I'm an introvert.

[00:00:58] I'm not quiet or shy, but I am reserved. I'm also very observant. The first time I met Jess, I told Kevin that we would be like oil and water. We've never been overly hostile towards each other, but also have never gone out of our way to bond. Unfortunately, Terence and Jess had fertility issues for several years before finally having their son a couple of weeks ago. Prior to this, Jess was very odd towards us when I was pregnant with our daughter.

[00:01:25] The best way to describe it is hot and cold. One minute she pretended like she didn't care while we were talking about it at family gatherings. The next she was volunteering to throw the baby shower. I gave a firm no to that. We both assumed the behaviour was because of their fertility issues and didn't think too much of it. But the strangest thing she did was almost demand to know what we were naming our daughter before we announced it.

[00:01:51] She asked us constantly after our gender reveal and got visibly annoyed when we just laughed her off and said it was a secret. We couldn't understand why the hell she cared so much as she was not expecting at this time. Regardless, we didn't share the name with anyone. When our daughter was born and her name was finally announced, Jess was kind of obsessed with it. I don't know how to explain it. She just kept going on and on about how beautiful and unique it was. To this day, she comments about how different it is.

[00:02:20] The name we chose is a pretty common Welsh name, which wouldn't be all that different except for the fact that we are African American. LOL. I've always gravitated towards names from different regions and found and fell in love with the name years ago and never shared it with anyone prior to Kevin. Fast forward to both of us being pregnant at the same time. Jess's odd behaviour continued towards me but this time it was more blatant.

[00:02:46] Snarky comments under the guise of jokes about how big I was going to get with two babies and that my body would never snap back like it did after our daughter. She even accused us of getting pregnant on purpose after she announced her own pregnancy. Even though the whole family knew we were actively trying and at the time of her announcement, I was already a few weeks along and didn't know. One thing about me, introverts or not, I'm no pushover and will stand up for myself.

[00:03:13] But I chose to ignore Jess because I knew that would get to her more than confronting her would since she seems to thrive off drama. Jess was obviously much further along than we are. However, we did have our gender revealed prior to Jess giving birth. And right on cue, the baby name interrogation started again because they decided not to find out the gender of their baby in advance. Jess kept hounding us for both of the names we had already picked out but again, we declined to answer.

[00:03:41] After days of this, I got annoyed and asked Kevin if he thought the reason for her insistence was so she could use the first name since she was due first. He kinda chuckled until he realised I was serious and said he didn't think so but that anything was possible. So I said, let's test it. We were due to host my father-in-law's birthday at our house a couple of weeks later and I decided to leave something in the unfinished nursery with a girl and boy name on it and see if Jess went snooping.

[00:04:11] Because Kevin thought it was silly. He said he would give me 20 bucks if she did it. So, I went on some site where you can order custom name wall decals and put in the names Aria Rose and Sebastian Alley. These are names that we like but aren't remotely close to what we chose. This will also be our last pregnancy so even if Jess did use them, we wouldn't care. I didn't complete the order. I got to the final page and then printed it out and hid it in a dresser drawer in the nursery.

[00:04:39] The party goes off but because we were busy hosting, we never noticed if Jess disappeared for any extended period of time. When I went into the nursery the next morning, nothing was out of place and the order sheet was still in the exact location. So we both just went, well, and forgot about it. I did however notice that Jess never asked us about the names again. Then Jess gives birth. We went to the hospital to give our congrats. When we go in and see the baby, I ask what his name was and man,

[00:05:09] I cannot properly explain the shit-eating grin that came over Jess's face as she says, Sebastian Alley. I mean, she was really proud of herself and honestly, it's the most vindictive I've ever seen her look in the years I've known her. But instead of reacting how she was expecting, I put on a performance like I graduated from Juilliard. It's a school in New York apparently. Oh my god, that's just a great name. He's so cute. Look at his widow face.

[00:05:37] Oh, I just love him so much. Welcome to the world, Sebastian. Auntie is gonna spoil you rotten. I mean, I'm laying it on thick without an ounce of bother. The range of emotions on Jess's face went from shock to confusion to rage in the span of maybe 17 seconds. Meanwhile, my husband is holding in the laugh of the century. We later say our goodbyes and he gives me a 20 in the elevator while almost crying laughing.

[00:06:04] All I could say was like, like I thought. This was two weeks ago and we haven't seen them since because we wanted to give them time to settle in with a new baby. I've heard from my mother-in-law that Jess doesn't seem as thrilled about motherhood as she thought she would be considering how long it took them to conceive. But said it might be just baby blues. Obviously, I think she's just disappointed that her petty move didn't have the desired effect on us.

[00:06:29] I did share this with my sister and while she laughed initially, she did say it was kind of an asshole move. So, am I the asshole here? But there's no way you can be the asshole in this situation. You literally knew what she was going to do. So, you printed off a bit of paper and then she went snooping in your place to find out these names. And then thought she was going to get one over on you. You know. These were all choices that she made in the end. Paris says not the asshole. That's hilarious.

[00:06:59] Put sister-in-law on an information diet about having anything to do with your pregnancy and kids. Sister-in-law probably isn't done trying to cause drama. Yeah, there's the possibility that she might try and change the name if you give it up beforehand. Opie says I am more concerned about this now. Before her pregnancy, her and brother-in-law lived in another state for years. That's why it was so easy for me to ignore her. They moved back here in May and it's become harder to dodge her. Paris has said replies that saying be ready for the questions about where you buy their clothes.

[00:07:29] What pediatrician you use. What extracurricular activities you're going to do. What daycare, preschool you use, etc. Avoid telling her details if you can. Proper Foundation says not the asshole and well played. Jess got exactly what she deserved. H.B. Mart says yeah. I think it's impossible to be an asshole towards certain people. And she's one of them. You just have to take them down however you can because they're never going to stop making life difficult.

[00:07:57] So Opie came in with her update and says hey y'all. Thanks for the responses to my original post. The comments were funnier than I was expecting and kept me and my husband pretty entertained. I tried to respond to as many as I could before they got away from me. I've gotten some messages asking for an update but nothing major has really happened. Jess didn't break into my house to push me down the steps and steal my kid. Lol. I did get some additional info though that I can pass along.

[00:08:25] Before I get to that I want to give a little context about my relationship with Jess to explain why I did what I did. Feel free to skip past it. No I don't think so. To put it plainly Jess and I have been in a one-sided beef since the day Kevin and I started dating. I give her zero thought if I don't have to and yet I live rent free in her mind. Based on snide comments she's made over the years the reason why is jealousy. Kevin and I dated only a year before we got engaged.

[00:08:53] We were then married within six months of that engagement. We had an actual wedding with a ceremony and reception. Went on a honeymoon. Bought a house in the Burbs and got pregnant in rapid succession. Both of us have good careers and are financially stable. Mother-in-law, father-in-law and grandmother-in-law all adore me. There is a churchy reason behind this that I will spare you on. Jess and Terrence did not have a similar path. They had been on and off since they were 19 and 20 with Terrence never really wanting to commit.

[00:09:23] During one of their breaks Terrence got a friend with benefits pregnant and now has an 11-year-old son. This has always been a sore subject with Jess due to her fertility struggles. Fibroids. When they finally got back together she pressed him for marriage until he relented and gave her a shut-up ring. Then went to the courthouse on a random Tuesday, then had dinner at Red Lobster afterwards and went back to work the next day. Not trying to be shady, just relaying the facts.

[00:09:50] They now live in a two-bedroom apartment in a high-cost-of-living city while working hourly jobs. They aren't minimum wage or anything but constantly need OT to make ends meet. This has led her to resent me over the years. She thinks everything has come easily to me and let that fester. There was a time a few years ago at a gathering where she got drunk and got into an argument with Terrence. I think her attitude at night stemmed from seeing me with my infant daughter. To her, Tim, she blurted out that she married the wrong brother.

[00:10:19] Everyone was shocked. I wasn't. She just said the quiet part out loud and revealed what I already knew. So I poked her a little and said, really? Which one? That's kind of gross since both were minors when you met them. Context, Kevin and Terrence also have a younger brother, Tim, 28. Boy, did she fly off the handle after that. Lol. To this day, she claims to have no memory of that night. Anyway, now I know there is a new reason why she resents me. The update.

[00:10:48] Like I said, nothing has really happened since I last posted. I haven't seen or heard from Jess since that day in the hospital. Terrence also hasn't communicated much with Kevin other than sports talk. However, my mother-in-law has been with them almost every day. She came over yesterday to go over some last minute things for our baby shower that we are having the Saturday after Halloween. I'm not due till late January, but with the holidays and twins tending to arrive early, we just wanted to get it out of the way.

[00:11:16] Anyway, after finalizing some things, I asked mother-in-law how Terrence and Jess were doing. She sighed and leaned back in her chair and said, girl, it's a mess. She goes on a long word vomit that I will have to summarize. Basically, they've been at it since before the baby was born. When they were discussing names, Jess' list only consisted of girls' names. When Terrence asked what if it's a boy, Jess was adamant that it wouldn't be. But if it was, they would just use Terrence Jr.

[00:11:43] This caused an argument because Terrence's 11-year-old is not named after him, and it'd be petty to name the second son a junior. Unbeknownst to me, Jess was having severe anxiety over not the name, but the gender of their baby. So much that she refused to find out early because she was afraid of disappointment and she wanted to enjoy her pregnancy. Believing she was having a girl. She really wanted a girl. I mean, really wanted a girl. This goes back to mother-in-law in my opinion.

[00:12:12] Mother-in-law is the only girl of four brothers. She had three boys. Two of her three boys, Tim as a six-year-old, have boys. Then my daughter came along. Mother-in-law actually broke down in tears at our gender reveal. Since the day she was born, mother-in-law has become a little obsessed with her. Not in a just-know-mother-in-law way. She knows and respects boundaries, but the whole family is aware that my daughter is mother-in-law's favorite person in the world.

[00:12:38] I think Jess thought that by having a girl, she would get that same attention and affection from mother-in-law. As she has never been Jess's biggest fan. When that didn't happen, something sort of short-circuited in her head. Mother-in-law's words, not mine. Before we arrived at the hospital that day, they were still fighting over her name. So I guess when I showed up, she just blurted it out. While I still think it was to hurt me, it seems like it was also because she didn't allow herself to think of anything else because she didn't want a boy.

[00:13:07] I said in the first post how I noticed her expression. However, I completely failed to notice Terrence's. He was pissed. Jess had never mentioned that name to him prior and he had no clue where it even came from. He also hated it. He refused to sign off on that and they left the hospital without a name. In our state, you only have seven days from the birth to register a name. She eventually told Terrence to pick the name himself and that she didn't care anymore. So he did.

[00:13:34] He swapped out Sebastian for Jordan but kept Ali. Yes, after Michael and Mohamed lol. According to mother-in-law, since they've been home, Jess has shut down emotionally. She'd been doing all the motherly things but there's a disconnect there. Mother-in-law said she finally broke down to her a few nights ago. That she'll likely never have a daughter due to her age and what it took to get pregnant in the first place. I think that will bring them closer together since mother-in-law never got the daughter she wanted either.

[00:14:02] I also felt bad hearing that because regardless of how I feel about her as a person, I do have a heart and would never want to punch down on her if she's in the throes of PPD. Jess still hasn't admitted to snooping. So I haven't admitted to setting her up. A few comments said I should never confess but I think I will at some point. Mainly because I don't care. I am more than willing to burn a bridge while I'm still standing on it. But now simply isn't the time. So that's that. That's the lackluster update.

[00:14:32] Jess is invited to my baby shower so I might be back in a couple of weeks depending on how that shakes out. Savvy Maverick says, Well damn, that's not where I saw this going. Might not have been crazy as you say but definitely quite the revelation. I feel for Jess to a point but the minute she made that comment about my husband, all gloves would have been off. Your restraint is commendable. Hope she gets counseling so that little boy doesn't have to grow up knowing his mother didn't want him.

[00:15:00] P.S. Absolutely don't listen to the person who said to go out of your way to be nice to her. This site is full of willing doormats and I'm actually quite sick of it. Opie says,

[00:15:30] Martha says, That was not lackluster. The villain origin story for Jess was actually quite relevant and her ongoing jealousy towards your good fortune is rather sad. So for her to initiate as you said a one-sided beef is beyond wild. Stealing a baby name to make you angry. Nice try honey. I don't blame you for telling her about the setup. She's trifling. Still, not the asshole. Opie says,

[00:15:57] I read my fair share of Reddit stories and they always go off the rails so I thought this would be boring in comparison. However, I also recognize that most of these stories are fake. I see wheel says, There is no reason to ever tell anyone else about the name game. What would be the point? There's enough bad blood between the two of you and exposing it would not bring anything positive to anyone's life. It would be petty. The temporary high would be beneath you. Opie says, I think if no one asks then I won't tell.

[00:16:25] But if confronted with it, I'm not gonna lie. A commenter replies and says, But how confronted? Only you and your husband know about the setting. Who is to confront you about it? Opie says, Jess. If she ever asks me about the names and why I didn't use them, I'll tell her. But for her to do that, she would have to first admit her part. So it's unlikely. Your lovely Dolly says, Wow, what a wild ride. It sounds like Jess has a lot going on. And honestly, I can't believe she let her jealousy take over like that.

[00:16:55] But like it's super relatable how we all want that special bond, especially with family. I think it's kind of brave of you to share the truth at some point. I mean, burning bridges can be freeing, but only if you're ready for it. Hope your baby shower goes well. Fingers crossed for some good drama. Opie says, Someone in the comments of the last post said it'd be obvious when my babies are born and my daughter isn't named Aria. Lol. I have a feeling Jess won't even show up to the shower. And that may be for the best.

[00:17:24] Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel sorry or pity for the sister-in-law and the baby in this situation as well. And that's nothing against Opie because Opie's the one that's living the situation, is having to deal with it. I don't blame them for wanting nothing to do with that at all. And the way that she's been treated by the sister-in-law. I don't blame her. Not one bit.

[00:17:46] But it all just came across as like incredibly sad that she's fighting for this acceptance or some kind of like approval from the mother-in-law. And I really hope that, you know, that she gets some kind of professional help. You know, either therapy or potentially check for like PPD and all that kind of stuff as well. Whilst Opie thinks that she's not going to turn up to the baby shower. I think she actually might. Right.

[00:18:14] Redneck said to this one, this story needs to die with you. She knows her husband doesn't particularly want her. She's struggled financially and medically. Her in-laws dislike her. And now she didn't get the girl she wanted and knows she can't have another. Her life sounds crappy enough already. You didn't have to be friends, but you don't need to kick a dead horse either. Opie responded saying, I think you're right. Material seller says, I actually feel bad for your sister-in-law.

[00:18:40] I know she has her faults and she's projecting her hate onto you unfairly, but it seems like she just wants to feel wanted, which is sad. I wouldn't admit to it, even though in the last post I said you totally should be petty. But life just seems sad. I bet she didn't see herself with a man who didn't want to be with her and her feeling so unwanted at this stage in life. Opie says, My thoughts exactly, because 90% of this dynamic was in place before I arrived. I never took it into consideration.

[00:19:10] I just judged her based on how she's treated me in the last 6-7 years. Whether or not that's fair is debatable, but there's almost 20 years of history here that I probably should have considered. Fat Surgeon replies to Opie and says, Also, I can definitely see a situation where the in-laws may have treated her like shit so much more than you know. We also don't know what folks in her life have been feeding her about you.

[00:19:35] I have a family member who I'd beef with for years, just for both of us to find out that our relatives were quite literally feeding into the distrust and problems in our relationship. People would make snide comments, twist things into what they are not. Did you notice Fat Surgeon got a slightly similar haircut? She's jealous of you, and it kept making matters worse. It wasn't until me and his cousin both smelled the BS at a particular family dinner that I unraveled. We get along perfectly fine now.

[00:20:01] I would not be surprised if Jess has people in her life that constantly compare her life to yours and make her feel like absolute dog shit. And there was a mix of comments on that. There was a lot of people saying very similar that, you know, they do feel bad for sister-in-law. Obviously, no shade on Opie at all. They don't blame Opie for what they did in the situation. But also, there was other people that were saying, you know, sister-in-law's issues, end of. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:30] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.