I Took My Daughter To A CHILD FREE Wedding And The Brides MIL Is ANGRY! r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider a like, add subscribe and maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from BlakeyAssumption4248 from the Am I The Arsehole subreddit. It says, Am I the Arsehole for bringing my daughter to a child-free wedding? Deary me.

[00:00:34] Hi everyone, I'm a 19 year old mom to my beautiful two year old daughter, Amelia. Just a bit of backstory. Last year, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a family friend's wedding.

[00:00:45] I was thrilled and immediately said yes, even though it was a child-free event.

[00:00:52] I'd arranged for a babysitter but about a week before the wedding, she informed me that she would no longer be in the city and couldn't watch my daughter.

[00:00:59] Given the short notice, I approached the bride and asked if I could bring Amelia to the wedding, as I didn't have time to find another trusted babysitter.

[00:01:07] My daughter is overall a very easy going baby. She's comfortable with people and happy as long as she's fed.

[00:01:14] The bride knew this since she watched my daughter on multiple occasions before, and she happily agreed, saying that having Amelia there would make the wedding photos even more special.

[00:01:24] The wedding was going smoothly, though I noticed a few stares from the groom's parents.

[00:01:30] Amelia stayed with my sisters for most of the day, but during the reception, I took her with me to congratulate the couple.

[00:01:36] As I approached with Amelia in my arms, the groom's mother suddenly commented,

[00:01:40] You shouldn't have brought a baby to a child-free wedding, especially when she doesn't fit the family.

[00:01:46] I was completely taken aback.

[00:01:49] For context, my daughter is mixed. I'm half white and half Hispanic, and her father is black.

[00:01:55] I've been called whitewashed because I'm not in contact with my Hispanic family, so I knew exactly what she meant by saying my daughter didn't fit the family.

[00:02:04] The bride looked shocked, and the groom immediately stood up and led his parents away.

[00:02:09] Taking this as my cue, I decided it was time to leave.

[00:02:13] I made the rounds to say goodbye to everyone and put Amelia in her stroller.

[00:02:17] As I was leaving, the bride came over to apologize for her in-laws' behavior.

[00:02:21] I was upset, but I knew it wasn't her fault.

[00:02:23] So I simply wished her luck and left.

[00:02:26] Now, about a week after the wedding, I got tagged in a Facebook post.

[00:02:30] Strange, because I don't use Facebook.

[00:02:32] The post read,

[00:02:34] I'm outraged that my grandchildren weren't allowed at this event.

[00:02:37] But when a teen mother who couldn't be responsible enough to leave her child with the father brings her baby, it's perfectly fine.

[00:02:43] The post was from the groom's mother.

[00:02:45] To make things worse, she's also been telling family members I'm lying about what she said regarding my daughter's appearance.

[00:02:52] So now I'm wondering, am I the arsehole?

[00:02:55] And there was a bit of a mix of comments below.

[00:02:58] The first one said,

[00:02:59] Not the arsehole.

[00:03:00] It sounds like the groom's mother was upset by the no kids policy and wrongly took it out on you.

[00:03:05] It also sounds like the groom's mother is a dim-witted racist dingus.

[00:03:10] Hell or Shine says,

[00:03:11] This is 100% what happened and I feel really bad for OP's friend here.

[00:03:15] OP is not the arsehole.

[00:03:16] Although coming into this post, I thought it would be another story of,

[00:03:20] Had no other options, so I did this against the couple's wishes and was pleasantly surprised.

[00:03:24] And I can't even say the groom holds any blame.

[00:03:27] Because there's not enough information here to know what he said to his mother when he led her away or what he did about the post.

[00:03:33] But the bride seemed to have been perfectly nice about the situation.

[00:03:36] And now that horrible woman is a mother-in-law.

[00:04:07] Lady Amethyst says,

[00:04:30] Needles says,

[00:05:01] Taking just one baby to a child-free event causes everyone that didn't bring kids to wonder why that baby is here but mine aren't.

[00:05:09] If you had better manners, you would know this.

[00:05:12] And where was the father of this child?

[00:05:15] Dart says everyone sucks you.

[00:05:17] The groom's mother, obviously.

[00:05:19] But you didn't report to her some exhaustive search for alternate care.

[00:05:22] A year ago, you arranged for childcare and a week before the event, this flake said she wouldn't be in the city.

[00:05:28] What?

[00:05:29] You have no other family or friends in your entire life or the child's father or family.

[00:05:34] You knew this was child-free.

[00:05:36] I'm sure your kid is the bestest ever and you made a point of telling us that.

[00:05:40] Which you made a point of telling us yourself that.

[00:05:43] As a reason for there being no need to find alternate care.

[00:05:47] After all, I have the best kid.

[00:05:49] It'd be great while you're an actual bridesmaid.

[00:05:52] Even if family kids couldn't come, you shouldn't have brought your kid.

[00:05:56] You have an amazing friend.

[00:05:57] I'm sure she's taken a lot of heat for it.

[00:06:00] Be a great friend and apologize profusely.

[00:06:03] I think I connected with Lady Amethyst the most.

[00:06:06] Their comment because, obviously, mother-in-law sucks for obvious reasons.

[00:06:10] And I don't think, in my opinion, I don't feel that OP is the arsehole.

[00:06:15] You know, sometimes they did make plans to have babysitters.

[00:06:19] And it fell through in the last week.

[00:06:22] The last comment said about, oh, you've got no one to do it.

[00:06:24] You know, childcare is sometimes difficult.

[00:06:26] Even like with a week left.

[00:06:29] So I kind of understand, you know, approaching the bride and saying, is it possible?

[00:06:33] You know, the bride can say no.

[00:06:35] It might put her on the spot, sure.

[00:06:37] But she can say no.

[00:06:39] And it's either that or OP drops out of the wedding who's also a bridesmaid as well.

[00:06:42] Which makes, which is another issue in itself.

[00:06:45] And I also understand that, you know, there's a potential to invite drama into the wedding.

[00:06:50] By letting her bring her child at the same time.

[00:06:53] And there will be some people on the sidelines going, oh, why can't I bring my kid?

[00:06:56] Whereas I'm going to put myself in that wedding.

[00:06:59] And I'm sat there and, you know, I've arranged babysitters and all that kind of thing for the evening.

[00:07:03] Someone brings their child along.

[00:07:05] I probably initially question it.

[00:07:07] Hold on.

[00:07:08] You know, I thought this wedding was child free.

[00:07:10] But at the same time, I might be like, well, I've got the evening off.

[00:07:14] You know, I'm going to enjoy this instead.

[00:07:15] Rather than worrying about someone else.

[00:07:18] In the end, OP had an issue.

[00:07:20] It was solved by the bride who said, yeah, bring the baby along as an exception.

[00:07:24] Seemed happy to do so.

[00:07:26] So I'm going to say I'm not the arsehole in this one for me.

[00:07:28] The OP comes in with their update and says, hi again, everyone.

[00:07:32] I want to first start off with a huge thank you for all your advice and reassurance.

[00:07:36] That said, before I go into the post, I've seen a few racist comments towards my daughter and remarks about my age and how I ruined my life.

[00:07:44] I'm extremely happy.

[00:07:46] And so is my daughter.

[00:07:47] She is beautiful.

[00:07:48] And it's terrible that people in this world will take their self hate out on a two year old.

[00:07:53] Anyways, I wanted to give an update and clarify a few things.

[00:07:56] After I read the feedback I received.

[00:07:58] First off, I do have a Facebook account, but I don't use it often.

[00:08:02] I only found out about the post because someone sent it to me on messages, which is how I saw the groom's mother's comments regarding Amelia's father.

[00:08:11] He couldn't take her that weekend because he lives a bit further away and struggles when plans change last minute, especially when it's not his scheduled days to have her.

[00:08:20] On top of that, my family members, who I would trust to watch Amelia were all attending the wedding.

[00:08:25] So there weren't many other options.

[00:08:27] Now, some of you mentioned I could have dropped out of the wedding and I wanted to address that.

[00:08:32] Dropping out of the bridal party was actually the first option I presented to the bride when I realized I couldn't find a new babysitter.

[00:08:38] I didn't want to complicate her big day.

[00:08:41] However, she didn't want me to drop out and reassured me that it'd be fine to bring Amelia.

[00:08:46] So while bringing my daughter was the second option, the bride did have the choice of me stepping down if she had preferred that.

[00:08:53] Yesterday I spoke with the bride again and she told me that she explained everything to her mother-in-law, making it clear that it wasn't my fault Amelia was there.

[00:09:02] It was a decision made between her and her husband.

[00:09:05] She also revealed the real reason behind the child-free rule.

[00:09:09] It wasn't directed at all kids.

[00:09:11] The bride had been trying to avoid having her mother-in-law's grandchildren there because they had been nightmares at other events, as described by the bride herself.

[00:09:21] The bride didn't want to cause any more drama by openly sharing that reason, so she kept it under the radar.

[00:09:27] I feel a lot better knowing that my friend still supports my decision and I'm relieved that the real issue wasn't about me or Amelia.

[00:09:33] While I'd definitely be more cautious with similar situations in the future, I'm glad I prioritized Amelia's safety and well-being.

[00:09:41] Thanks again to everyone who shared their thoughts.

[00:09:44] I truly appreciate it.

[00:09:46] And I'm glad that things were good between the bride and OP in the end.

[00:09:51] I don't think that's the end of the story for mother-in-law and her shenanigans though, but that's a different timeline, isn't it?

[00:09:58] A different family, if you like.

[00:09:59] A different Marvel universe.

[00:10:01] So let's move on to another story.

[00:10:04] Now our next story comes from subject from the amitheasslehere subreddit that says amitheasslehere for reversing my vasectomy after my wife asked for a divorce.

[00:10:14] My 40 male, wife 40 female seems to want a divorce.

[00:10:19] She started hinting on divorce months ago, sending me passive-aggressive articles and videos.

[00:10:24] Our latest fight was about an article she sent me about a woman leaving her husband for dishes.

[00:10:30] I didn't read it and started bugging me about reading it and I told her that I am NOT reading it.

[00:10:35] I told her that if she's gonna divorce me because I left dishes in the sink, then do it already because I'm gonna leave dishes in the sink sometimes.

[00:10:42] It's not the end of the world and if we're so overpowered by dishes, I will just hire someone to do the dishes for me.

[00:10:49] She then asked for a divorce and I just ignored her.

[00:10:52] She then told me to move out and I said I will.

[00:10:54] I will move out by the end of the month like she wanted.

[00:10:57] I'm also planning to reverse my vasectomy.

[00:11:00] She was very offended by it.

[00:11:02] I just told her that I got a vasectomy for her because she asked me to and since we're divorcing I don't have a reason to continue it.

[00:11:09] But she didn't accept that reason.

[00:11:11] She accused me of having another woman in mind.

[00:11:14] I don't have anyone to have more kids with and had no plan to have more kids for now.

[00:11:18] But I should continue being sterile because my wife wants me to.

[00:11:22] The same wife who wants to divorce me because of dishes.

[00:11:25] It's ridiculous.

[00:11:26] I didn't understand it.

[00:11:28] I got a vasectomy because she asked.

[00:11:30] When she asked, she even told me that vasectomy is reversible if I change my mind.

[00:11:35] Now I'm getting served a shit sandwich of divorce and I'm not even allowed to do this.

[00:11:39] It's a reverse vasectomy.

[00:11:40] It's just ridiculous.

[00:11:42] Is anyone getting the feeling that there's so much missing information?

[00:11:46] I felt so much resentment in that one post.

[00:11:48] And you know, it's just text format.

[00:11:50] So feeling that in this, you know, there's something going wrong here.

[00:11:53] And as always, it's not about the dishes, is it?

[00:11:56] It's not going to be just about the dishes.

[00:12:00] And it all escalated so quickly.

[00:12:02] Just like three lines in it.

[00:12:03] You know, I told her to just divorce me and she asked for a divorce.

[00:12:07] And now I'm getting served a shit sandwich of divorce.

[00:12:09] It was like what?

[00:12:11] A green eyed hawk says I have never in my life seen someone work so hard to miss the point.

[00:12:17] I guarantee this divorce isn't about dishes.

[00:12:21] Randomly what says the article he stubbornly refused to read is literally all about that too.

[00:12:26] The point of it is, it's not about the dishes.

[00:12:29] Dude is clueless that he's a terrible husband.

[00:12:32] The crazier says yeah, I agree.

[00:12:34] I mean, why even tell her about the reversal?

[00:12:37] Get a divorce and get the reversal.

[00:12:39] What does it have to do with a soon-to-be ex-wife that he told her as some form of attack or threat?

[00:12:45] Weird.

[00:12:47] Waiting says and quotes why even tell her about the reversal and says because the whole point of the reversal isn't to have kids.

[00:12:53] It's to hurt her slash get a reaction from her.

[00:12:56] Wonder wife says you're gonna divorce me because you say I don't do things you asked me for.

[00:13:01] Fine.

[00:13:01] I'll show you by taking back the one thing you asked me to do that I actually did.

[00:13:06] Cape head says lol, you don't want kids but you want to reverse the surgery.

[00:13:10] That's certainly gonna show her.

[00:13:13] Yeah, and the vasectomy was definitely you know, just to get back at her at some reason.

[00:13:19] You know, you can choose what you want to do.

[00:13:21] You can reverse a vasectomy or if you want to.

[00:13:24] That's your choice but you have to admit to yourself why you're actually doing that.

[00:13:29] And it certainly felt like a way where I'm gonna fucking show you.

[00:13:32] I'm gonna reverse that.

[00:13:33] But OP comes in with her update and says I told my wife I am not moving out.

[00:13:38] If she wants me out, she should file for divorce and we can work things out.

[00:13:42] I told her that I would ask my sister to accompany me for surgery.

[00:13:45] And she would stay for a few days with us to take care of me.

[00:13:48] So her life won't be affected in any way.

[00:13:51] I also told her that I'm gonna hire help for the household stuff so she literally doesn't have to do anything until we are staying together.

[00:13:57] What resulted was two hours of silence and then it was followed by something that can only be described as a hysterical shitstorm.

[00:14:04] She was alternating between crying and screaming like a banshee.

[00:14:08] I am still shell shocked or maybe I just don't care.

[00:14:11] It's hard to tell.

[00:14:12] I called her mom and she's been living with us and dealing with her.

[00:14:15] I am mostly avoiding her.

[00:14:17] I was able to hire someone on short notice but my wife accused her of sleeping with me.

[00:14:22] So she is not coming back.

[00:14:24] My main focus is on reversing my vasectomy for now.

[00:14:27] And we'll deal with other things after that.

[00:14:30] And tension set on this.

[00:14:31] Why is reversing your vasectomy your main focus?

[00:14:34] And that was my exact thoughts.

[00:14:35] You know, you're just about to go through divorce.

[00:14:37] There's gonna be a lot of paperwork, a lot of dealing with logistics of how you're gonna deal with it.

[00:14:43] Like all the furniture, the house.

[00:14:44] I guess at some point one of you is going to be moving out and be like,

[00:14:48] Nope, vasectomy time.

[00:14:50] Sister, I need you to move in with me.

[00:14:51] It's like, what the fuck you doing?

[00:14:53] But remember Brancer says, spite.

[00:14:57] Night Owl says, I think it's more of, I made a joint decision with my partner to be proactive in contraception.

[00:15:02] And we decided not to have children.

[00:15:04] She's decided to end the marriage.

[00:15:06] I would like to have the option of having children with a future partner.

[00:15:09] Should that be something we agree on?

[00:15:11] That's not spite.

[00:15:13] That's strategic forward thinking.

[00:15:15] Meh.

[00:15:16] Remember who said spite replies that saying,

[00:15:18] In the original post, this all started because you refused to acknowledge your wife's work in the house.

[00:15:23] She kept trying to get you to understand through articles and you refused to read those.

[00:15:27] Only then did she ask for a divorce.

[00:15:30] So why do you want to vasectomy so badly?

[00:15:33] To inflict more housework that you don't help the next wife with.

[00:15:37] Plenty for everyone says, his affair partner wants a kid.

[00:15:41] And remember replace that saying good luck to her then because he wouldn't be helping her at home either.

[00:15:45] Gee, bloody whiz with a cherry on top.

[00:15:49] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:15:52] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:15:55] And let's move on to another story.

[00:15:58] And we're going to have one more story from the MI the arsehole here.

[00:16:02] Subreddit from automaticpath3055.

[00:16:06] This one's a top one at the moment.

[00:16:08] It's titled,

[00:16:09] I'm Ivy Arsehole for telling my daughter.

[00:16:11] I won't pay for a wedding until she is 25.

[00:16:14] I have three kids and this is about my youngest.

[00:16:18] I've paid for all of my older kids' weddings with basically no strings attached.

[00:16:22] My two older kids are 26 and 28.

[00:16:26] The middle child is going to have a wedding when she is 27.

[00:16:29] My oldest just had his wedding.

[00:16:31] My youngest is in college and she just turned 20.

[00:16:34] She's been dating Jim and he proposed.

[00:16:37] He's 25 and out of school.

[00:16:40] I'm not a huge fan that he has been out of school for two years and is dating a college student.

[00:16:44] Especially when that started when she was still a teenager.

[00:16:48] My daughter can't even drink.

[00:16:49] Well, he literally has a career.

[00:16:52] He proposed and I learned about it yesterday.

[00:16:54] She wants to get married next summer.

[00:16:57] I sat her down and told her I will not pay for the wedding.

[00:17:00] I believe she is too young and that she is still in college.

[00:17:03] I told her I will pay for all of it.

[00:17:05] If they have long engagements and she is 25.

[00:17:08] I told her this gives her plenty of time to finish her degree and she will have some work experience under her belt before marriage.

[00:17:15] Also, if they love each other it shouldn't be an issue waiting a few years.

[00:17:19] She was pissed and called me a jerk.

[00:17:21] My daughter thinks this is a good call while my son thinks I'm being a dick also.

[00:17:26] I'm going to start off with Newton's third lawyer who says not the asshole.

[00:17:30] If I'm not mistaken, the age isn't to do with the number but more the solidity of the relationship.

[00:17:34] That I think is valid.

[00:17:36] Between the ages of 18 to 23, 24, even up till 30 is such a rollercoaster of changes and mentality that people can genuinely want completely different and opposite things as an 18 year old to a 25 year old.

[00:17:49] The long engagement is a good way around it.

[00:17:52] Maybe promise that you'll pay for a wedding after she graduates, even before 25 so as long as they're engaged until then.

[00:17:58] It's your money at the end of the day and while you've paid for your other siblings, I'm sure their weddings were maybe more thought out and pre-planned with mature and similarly aged spouses.

[00:18:08] I think you should try to minimize making your youngest feel treated unfairly while still getting your way.

[00:18:13] But overall, not the asshole I believe.

[00:18:16] Opie says yeah.

[00:18:17] She also has only been with this guy almost a year.

[00:18:20] I'm seriously worried about her dropping out of college if they marry.

[00:18:24] And someone said about yeah, a quick engagement is enough to consider not paying and Opie replies then,

[00:18:28] To be honest, the quick engagement makes me dislike him even more.

[00:18:31] Looks like he's trying to trap her.

[00:18:34] Why was a 24 year old that already was graduated sniffing around college girls?

[00:18:39] My daughter was 19.

[00:18:40] Why isn't going after people who already graduated or were almost graduate?

[00:18:44] Why in 10 months he already wants to marry her?

[00:18:47] Looks to me he wanted someone young that he would easily be able to control.

[00:18:52] She doesn't even have a college degree or any real world experience.

[00:18:56] She doesn't have money.

[00:18:57] She can't just leave.

[00:18:58] Like this dude has every advantage against her.

[00:19:01] Tree chemistry says not the asshole.

[00:19:03] You're looking out for a future by placing this stipulation.

[00:19:06] She absolutely should finish her schooling before getting married.

[00:19:09] And if he is the one, he'll still be on board 5 years from now.

[00:19:13] And if he's not a good person, 5 years is long enough time for it's true colors to bleed through.

[00:19:18] Your older daughter thinks it's a good idea because she understands the dynamics of being the wife in the scenario.

[00:19:23] Your son probably has never thought of issues of control or abuse for young wives with older husbands.

[00:19:29] It's not a bad thing.

[00:19:31] Being blind to the possibility of abuse means he's never thought of abusing anyone.

[00:19:35] But being naive isn't a winning argument.

[00:19:38] And one more comment from Giggity Giggity Goof who says,

[00:19:41] People get it so twisted.

[00:19:43] You're offering to pay for her wedding.

[00:19:45] Everything in my life is coming from my own pocket.

[00:19:48] If my parents said they'd pay for my wedding and all I had to do was wait a few years, I'd be ecstatic.

[00:19:54] Tell her to stop being a brat or pay for her own damn wedding if she wants it that badly.

[00:20:00] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:03] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:06] Do you agree with the comments on this one?

[00:20:08] Or maybe you see things a bit differently.

[00:20:11] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:20:14] And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:20:18] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:21] So thank you so so much.

[00:20:23] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:25] Take care and much love.

[00:20:29] Being so naive when life was good weather and palm trees.

[00:20:32] Back in the day you were everything I need.

[00:20:35] But then along came a time when you crushed my dreams.

[00:20:38] Oh yeah, you played me like a fool when you made me believe that the line between love wasn't thick enough to read.

[00:20:43] Oh yeah, you see we in the spare.