I Told My Sister She Can't Bring Her "Experimental" Dishes To Thanksgiving r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider it a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Now, I've seen there's been an update to a post we covered just recently. People are calling out for it. So, of course, we're gonna have to read it. This one was from SocietyTiny784. It's the Thanksgiving drama.

[00:00:30] And if you want to skip initial parts of the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. It's titled, Am I the arsehole for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal? Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner and we all typically bring a dish or two.

[00:00:54] My sister, who's a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She's not a great cook. And I don't mean just not great. I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations. For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with a special recipe. Stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom.

[00:01:22] It was dry and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture. She later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour to experiment. No one wanted seconds of that either.

[00:01:45] This year, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. Since I'm responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could really enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I'd avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead, like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her very kindly, I thought, that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined and outhandle the main dishes. But she didn't take it well.

[00:02:15] She got offended and told me I was being controlling and shutting her out of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what's acceptable. I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be a part of it. She doubled down and said she's bringing her famous green bean casserole whether I like it or not.

[00:02:42] Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because it's Thanksgiving and it's the thought that counts. They're acting like I'm committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat. But I feel like I'm just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and frankly, edible.

[00:03:06] I don't think it's wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I'm putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? Am I the asshole? Kind of overview of the comments. A lot of people were basically just saying, let her bring the dish and, you know, people don't have to eat it if they don't want to and hopefully she'll get the hint. Maybe not, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to eat it, right? But Opie came in with her first little update and said, all right, well, things have escalated fast.

[00:03:36] Thanks to everyone who offered advice. I tried to compromise, but it's already turning into a whole thing and Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away. After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make. So I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I'm overthinking and that it's just one dish.

[00:03:59] I told her I wasn't sure if it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister's grocery haul, including canned oysters and edible glitter. Then my mom let slip that my sister has been hard at work on some creative menu she's planning as a Thanksgiving surprise.

[00:04:19] Apparently, she's been telling the family group chat, which I wasn't included in by the way, that I'm being controlling and that she wants to expand everyone's palate with something truly unique. To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she's bringing not one, but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She's calling them a Thanksgiving trio experience, complete with her own place settings and little menu cards she's designing.

[00:04:47] I'm officially panicking because I have no idea what she's planning to serve. And from what I've heard, it's not remotely traditional. At this point, half the family thinks I'm overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, Is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes? I feel stuck. If I try to control it anymore, I'm the bad guy. But if I don't, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister, having guard cooking.

[00:05:14] So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away and it's already become a family spectacle. I don't know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza. I remember thinking the first time that we read this part where I just think, you know, if they're all encouraging it, let them crack on. Just watch their faces as they eat the glittery oysters. I hope it's going to be glittery oysters anyway. That's all I've been thinking about since I read that first post.

[00:05:42] Some point down the line, we're going to be seeing glittery oysters. So OP came in with what's their second update now, which said, Alright, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away. And somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister's Thanksgiving trio experience would be the peak of the drama. Well, turns out I was wrong. Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her dishes the main attraction.

[00:06:10] She's been dropping hints in the family group chat, which I'm still not included in, but shout out to my cousin for the screenshots about how this Thanksgiving will be one to remember, and calling it her Thanksgiving debut. She's apparently been referring to herself as the Thanksgiving head chef, and has hinted that she's bringing some kind of culinary surprise centerpiece that will transform the whole experience. From what I can piece together, she's planning a main statement dish,

[00:06:38] in addition to her original three side dishes. I'm picturing something equally bizarre, but on a much larger scale. And honestly, I'm terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can't imagine what she thinks is worthy of being the centerpiece. And to make things even weirder, my mum texted me privately and suggested that I step back this year, and let my sister shine, since she's so excited about her contributions. My mum thinks if we just give her this moment,

[00:07:07] it'll make her happy, and she'll get it out of her system. She even hinted that maybe I should just focus on decorations and drinks, instead of the main dishes, which feels like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister, without actually saying it. So now I'm left with a choice. Go along with my mum's plan, and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving. Or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with dishes everyone would enjoy.

[00:07:35] But it seems like I'm either about to hand over the whole meal to her, or prepare for some serious drama. Thanksgiving isn't even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I'm half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever artistic statement she has planned. Let sister do it! Let sister do it! Opie comes in with another update and says, here we are. The day before Thanksgiving,

[00:08:05] and things have continued to spiral. I decided to let my sister move forward with a trio experience, since pushing back more would only make things worse. I thought we had a plan. She'd bring her dishes, and I'd make sure there were plenty of other options to keep the peace. This morning, my mum let me know that my sister is now adding a surprise dish to her contributions. She's been very secretive about what it is, which has everyone nervous after her past attempts.

[00:08:33] My mum thinks it's sweet that my sister is putting in so much effort, but a few other family members are not as optimistic. My cousin texts me privately asking if I had backup food ready, and my dad casually mentioned bringing extra rolls, just in case. At this point, I've decided to stick with the plan and let her have a moment. I'll still have a few traditional dishes on hand so no one goes hungry. Tomorrow will probably be chaotic, but it should at least make for a memorable holiday. Wish me luck.

[00:09:03] I'll update after Thanksgiving if anything noteworthy happens. So here we go, folks. You as hyped up as me right now. It's the final update from Opie. Thanksgiving dinner is officially over, and I genuinely don't know where to start. I feel like I just lived through a fever dream of culinary chaos and family drama, and I need a moment to breathe before I can even process everything. My cousin and I are heading out of town for drinks to dissect all of it, because honestly,

[00:09:33] what just happened deserves its own Netflix special. I'll post photos. Yay. Later when I get home. But for now, let me try and give you the rundown. So, my sister showed up earlier than expected, which I should have seen coming. She came in like a storm, carrying not just her three dishes, but also this giant platter wrapped in foil, which she was clearly trying to make a big deal about. She immediately started rearranging the table,

[00:10:02] moving my dishes to the side so hers could take center stage. She even brought her own table runner and candles, saying something about setting the mood for a creative dining experience. I decided not to fight her on it because, at this point, I just wanted to get through the night without a blow up. Her trio experience was, well, let's just say it was everything I feared and more.

[00:10:25] She started with a glittery sweet potato mash that somehow managed to taste like a mix of sugar and sand. The glitter wasn't even edible glitter. It was craft glitter, which I didn't realize until one of the kids said, this is crunchy. I looked closer. Then there was the cranberry and oyster relish. Yes, oysters and cranberries. It looked like someone had spilled jam into clam chowder, and the smell alone was enough to make me lose my appetite. Finally,

[00:10:55] she brought a pumpkin curry casserole that had raisins in it for some reason, and this weird fishy smell that clung to the air for way too long. But the piece de resistance was a surprise centerpiece dish, which turned out to be a turkey gelatin mold. Ooh. Yes, she took ground turkey, mixed it with some kind of broth and seasonings, and turned it into a wobbly translucent mold shaped like a turkey.

[00:11:23] She even garnished it with parsley and cherry tomatoes to make it festive. I wish I were kidding. The entire table went silent when she unveiled it, except for my cousin, who immediately started coughing to cover up what I'm pretty sure was a laugh. Things hit their peak when my mom, who has been defending her this entire time, took one bite of the gelatin mold and just froze. She didn't say anything, but you could see the regret on her face. My sister,

[00:11:52] noticing the lack of enthusiasm, decided to go on this long speech about how Thanksgiving food is too boring, and how she's trying to challenge our palates. She even called my ham and mashed potatoes uninspired, which was rich coming from someone serving glitter sand potatoes. The breaking point came when my aunt, who's usually the peacekeeper, tried the gelatin mold and actually gagged. She tried to be polite about it, but my sister saw a reaction and completely lost it.

[00:12:21] She started yelling about how nobody in the family supports her, and how we're all stuck in the past with our unoriginal food. She even accused me of sabotaging her dishes by not hyping them up enough to everyone. At this point, half the table was trying not to laugh, and the other half was just staring at their plates, probably wondering how we got here. My sister ended up storming out of the house, but not before saying something along the lines of,

[00:12:48] you regret not appreciating my vision when I'm famous. She left most of her food behind, which my cousin and I quietly threw out after dinner. The rest of the night actually turned out pretty nice once the tension was gone. My dad's emergency ham was a lifesaver, and everyone agreed that the next year we're either going to a restaurant or just skipping Thanksgiving altogether. So now I'm sitting here wondering how this even became my life. I'll post photos later because you all need to see

[00:13:17] the turkey gelatin mold to believe it. But for now, I'm off to grab a drink, or three, with my cousin to laugh and to cry over everything that went down. This Thanksgiving was truly something else, and I don't know whether to feel relieved it's over or brace myself for whatever fresh chaos my sister has planned for next year. Stay tuned for photos. It's going to be worth it. Isn't like glitter made out of plastic? I just had to Google it. And not only is it made out of plastic, but there's some glitters you can get that's made out of glass.

[00:13:47] That's pretty terrifying, I've got to say. But there were some people asking OP questions. Lonely Scholar says, I do want to know what your mum said after everything was over. OP said, Oh, my mum's reaction was priceless. After everything calmed down and my sister had stormed out, my mum sat there quietly for a while, probably replaying the chaos on her head. Finally, she sighed and said, Well, I guess she tried, but maybe she needs to practice more before next year. I couldn't even respond

[00:14:17] because I was biting my tongue to keep from laughing. Practice. At this point, it's less about practice and more about needing a whole new approach to cooking and needing a reality check about what's actually edible. My cousin gave me a look that screamed, Next year? We're not doing this again. I think my mum is finally starting to realise that her constant defending of my sister hasn't exactly helped. Whether or not that sticks remains to be seen, but at least for one night, she seems to understand how ridiculous this whole situation was.

[00:14:47] Mr. Ignorant asked OP, What does your sister eat? Like, in her house? Does she go for these non-traditional on a regular? Does she ever eat out? Does she have a partner? If so, do they cook for themselves? Does she invite her friends over? OP says, Great questions, and honestly, I've wondered the same thing myself. From what I know, she eats pretty normal stuff most of the time. She doesn't pull these world experiments out for everyday meals. It's like she saves them for occasions where there's an audience. At home,

[00:15:16] she's apparently a fan of takeout and simple meals, which makes this whole creative chef persona even more baffling. She doesn't have a partner right now, but in the past, I think they either cook for themselves or they ate out a lot. As for friends, I'm not sure how often she hosts, but if she's serving them the same kinds of dishes, they're either very brave or very polite. I'm starting to think she saves her most avant-garde ideas for family events. Which is why we're the lucky ones who gets to experience them firsthand.

[00:15:46] But the photos are not on there as yet, so you can imagine people are skeptical at the moment about it all. But if you do see these photos, please let me know. I really want to see a gelatin-molded turkey. Could you just imagine being at that table when that baby was revealed? Whew! Anyway, what do you guys make of this situation? Was your Thanksgiving dramatic at all? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:16:16] And our next story comes from Grapefruit Apologist from the Am I the Asshole subreddit and it says Am I the Asshole for ruining the surprise my boyfriend organized for my birthday. My boyfriend, 26 male, and I, 23 male, have been dating for a little over eight months and on early November it was my birthday. I was excited as it was my first time we were going to be spending either of our birthdays together and he had spent all of October teasing a surprise he was planning. Now,

[00:16:46] for context, I should mention I have a very complicated relationship with my parents. He knows this and we have spoken in detail about why that is the case. My parents are out of my life and have been for the past two years. He knows all this. Because of my relationship with my parents, for the last couple of years I spent my birthday with my best friend who I consider my family. So when my boyfriend let it slip on my birthday that the surprise he had planned was a family dinner, I'd have sort of assumed it meant my sister and her husband

[00:17:15] and my friend and a partner. I was wrong. The surprise he had planned was flying in my parents from a whole different city. I was confused as to why he would bring them but I might have overreacted. I don't think I even stayed there for more than 30 minutes before I walked out of the restaurant and drove home. I didn't really remember much of it. I just couldn't sit there and listen to my parents belittle me while my boyfriend was just sitting there. The next day my boyfriend showed up to my place. I knew we were going

[00:17:45] to talk about the previous day but I guess I was expecting him to apologise. Instead, he got angry at me for ruining the surprise he'd been planning for a long time and he said he just wanted to give me a chance to have a normal relationship with my parents. I understand where he's coming from I guess but I really didn't appreciate the way he went about it. I told him this and he wasn't really receptive. He just said that as my boyfriend he had a right to know my parents. I can really see what he means

[00:18:14] but I can't help but still feel like I'm owed an apology. So am I the arsehole for ruining my birthday surprise? We've seen this a couple of times in situations like these where someone's no contact with their family but the partner decides that they're going to invite them to whatever. That's absolute madness. It's such a lack of consideration for your feelings and certainly something where I'd look at that person and think you know I've lost a whole lot of trust for you. Especially the reaction afterwards.

[00:18:44] He had the opportunity to apologize to say he's sorry for what he'd done but he didn't. He doubled down got angry at you for ruining the surprise. That would certainly tip it over the edge for me but Dossa says my parents are out of my life and have been for the past two years. He knows this and quotes again saying instead he got angry at me for ruining the surprise. He'd been planning for a long time and he said he just wanted to give me a chance to have a normal relationship with my parents. And then says fuck that shit.

[00:19:14] This is not something a loving partner does without consent and much discussion. Your boyfriend doesn't get to unilaterally decide that you need to reconcile with your parents and he doesn't get to bitch you out when you react to such an unpleasant surprise by leaving. He's doing shit like this at eight months. This will be your life. He's deciding that you're not proceeding on a path he thinks is best so he'll simply correct it for you. Again, fuck that shit. Not the asshole. Another commenter says not the asshole.

[00:19:44] Your boyfriend and your parents are. The only people that ruined anything were your parents and your boyfriend. Instead of making up with you, your parents continue their bad behavior. Instead of standing up for you, your boyfriend allows their bad behavior. Your boyfriend does not have a right to know your parents when you remove them from your life. And instead of seeing what shitty people they are, your boyfriend still thinks you need to have a normal relationship with them. You deserve a man, not a bratty little boy who thinks you did anything wrong. Give yourself an

[00:20:14] early Christmas present and dump him. And that was pretty much the consensus all the way through the comments. But OP did come in with an update and said first of all, sorry for not replying to any comments at all. I got overwhelmed by the amount of attention the post was getting and I didn't really know how to deal with over a hundred people telling me to break up with my boyfriend. We did break up. I wish I could say I confronted him with all the comments and their carefully constructed arguments. Don't get me wrong, they definitely helped me but I am terrified of

[00:20:44] conflict so it's probably not the dramatic update a lot of people were hoping for. I should say we did technically make up the day after my birthday surprise slash ambush. I posted about it because I was feeling discontent with how we resolved things. Now I see it's because things weren't resolved at all. He just made me apologize about it without giving me an opportunity to be angry. I thought I could tell him to come up to my apartment next week so I had more time to figure out a natural way to bring it up and then we had a conversation about

[00:21:13] it and we could move on from it. I ended up bringing it up after we had lunch together yesterday. While I was driving him back to his place I hadn't even meant to do it and I didn't know how to behave with the underlying anger that I now had. So in the end I just asked him why he had done it. Trying my best not to sound angry as I generally don't like being angry. He said he wanted to get to know the people that raised me. His answer was bullshit for a lot of reasons but the biggest one is that I have literally told

[00:21:42] him that my sister is the person that raised me. When he met her and her husband we all joked that it was like meeting the parents. I told him that he had every right to want to meet whoever he wanted but he had no right to go behind my back and force me to be around people I've cut out of my life. The next thing he said is truly what made me break up with him. He said he doesn't understand how someone can stop talking to their family. I cannot stress enough how many times I've explained to him why I've stopped talking to my parents. He's asked more

[00:22:12] than once. After he said that I think I had a realization. He doesn't understand me. He's made no efforts to do so. So I told him that after I dropped him off at his place I didn't want to see him anymore because I don't want to put in effort with someone that doesn't care about what I want. He didn't take that well but his emotions are not my problem anymore. Right now I mostly feel really sad and I'm probably better off like in the long run but breakups suck and I did love him.

[00:22:41] I think he'll be okay. I really appreciate everyone's support. When OP said at the very end there his emotions are not my problem anymore I just felt like good for you you know and of course it's going to hurt. Breakups do suck and OP clearly did love him but OP also deserves so much better than the disrespect towards him. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. below.

[00:23:11] Now just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories. You'll love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.