I Told My Husband He Shouldn't Be Upset When My Daughter Chose Her Uncle To Walk Her Down The Aisle

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from BeigeDonut19 and says, Am I the arsehole for telling my husband he shouldn't be upset when my daughter said that her uncle would be the one to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?

[00:00:32] Note, using fake names and please do be kind, English is not my first language. I, female 46, got pregnant with my daughter Sarah, female 26 when I was in college. My parents and my then boyfriend's parents pushed us to marry, which we did. My late husband unfortunately passed away a week after our daughter's second birthday because of a heart complication that we did not even know he had. It was a very hard time for me and I went through a very bad depression.

[00:01:02] Four years later, I met my now husband, Robert, male 46, on a blind date set up by a friend. He was one of my best friend's cousin. We hit it off and got married a year later. Even when we were dating, he was very hands-on with my daughter and did not take too long for my daughter to call him papa.

[00:01:20] Even until we got married and when I got pregnant two years into the marriage and gave birth to twins, male 17 and female 17, he still acted like a father to Sarah. She was even included in my husband's family reunions and the cousin group photo shoot that my in-laws organize every Christmas.

[00:01:40] Things took a bit of a turn when Sarah turned 18. She started calling him by his first name and both Robert and I were taken aback with the change of attitude she was displaying.

[00:01:50] I asked Robert what that was about, but he only shrugged, not knowing the reason too.

[00:01:55] I thought things would go back to normal, but she has been consistent in calling him by his first name.

[00:02:01] So I asked her if we could talk.

[00:02:03] Robert asked if he could join, which Sarah agreed.

[00:02:06] To make it short, my daughter overheard my husband talking about a Father's Day trip to his friend who owns a hostel.

[00:02:13] His friend asked him if he forgot to include Sarah since my husband only asked him to prepare three bedrooms.

[00:02:19] My husband replied that he planned this trip for his real children only.

[00:02:24] It wouldn't make sense if Sarah was in the trip since he wasn't her real father.

[00:02:28] This made Sarah feel betrayed and hurt because she saw him as a real dad, even if she knew he was her stepdad.

[00:02:36] My husband tried to explain to her that though he loves her as a father, his love for the twins was different since they were his real children.

[00:02:44] I just wanted to shut him up because he was overusing the word real, but Sarah told us to leave her room.

[00:02:51] What made that day even more depressing was that this day was her last week with us before she leaves the country for college.

[00:02:57] Since then, every time she comes home, Sarah acts like nothing happened but continues to call Robert by his first name.

[00:03:04] Robert didn't want to add fuel to the fire and just tolerated it.

[00:03:09] And now, a few years since then, my daughter announced her engagement to her longtime boyfriend.

[00:03:15] We were very happy for her and they'd been dating since they were still college freshmen.

[00:03:21] Two weeks before their wedding, we were wondering who would be walking Sarah down the aisle.

[00:03:25] I assumed it'd be Robert since I thought we had moved past the incident, but no.

[00:03:30] My daughter scoffed at me when I told her about Robert walking her down the aisle.

[00:03:34] She said,

[00:03:35] I thought it was obvious that Uncle Greg, my late husband's brother, would be the one to do that.

[00:03:41] Besides, I'm not his real daughter.

[00:03:43] It wouldn't make sense if he walked me down the aisle.

[00:03:47] I did not talk back.

[00:03:48] Instead, apologized for my ignorance and told her that I'd speak with Robert about it,

[00:03:52] since he also assumed he'd be the one to walk her down the aisle.

[00:03:56] When I told him what Sarah said, he was pissed.

[00:03:59] But I politely reminded him of the incident years ago, which made him even more upset.

[00:04:04] He said that it was a long time ago and that Sarah should move on.

[00:04:08] I, who was offended for my daughter, told him that he shouldn't be upset since he doesn't see her as his real child anyway.

[00:04:15] He then got teary-eyed and told me not to speak to him.

[00:04:19] He still attended Sarah's wedding but looked visibly down.

[00:04:22] We still aren't good terms and have been pretending in front of relatives.

[00:04:26] My daughter does not know about this and I want to keep it that way.

[00:04:30] But nevertheless, it's been a week since my daughter's wedding and Robert is still upset.

[00:04:35] He only talks to me about the twins and household stuff but beyond that, he keeps everything to himself.

[00:04:41] I feel really bad and think he's acting this way because of me.

[00:04:45] So, with that being said, am I the asshole?

[00:04:50] There is no coming back from what he said.

[00:04:53] He said he doesn't consider her his daughter, basically.

[00:04:56] After he's cared for her all this time, she's viewed him as her father.

[00:05:00] Hearing those words must have just destroyed her in that moment.

[00:05:04] So, he absolutely shouldn't have been surprised when he wasn't chosen to walk her down the aisle.

[00:05:09] She was absolutely right.

[00:05:11] And trying to dismiss her feelings about it by saying Sarah should move on.

[00:05:15] You don't move on from something like that.

[00:05:17] That's something that's always stuck with you for the rest of your life.

[00:05:21] You don't make up for stuff like that.

[00:05:23] You can apologize but it's not going to be forgotten.

[00:05:25] It's not going to change the thought process of her now knowing how you think about her.

[00:05:30] And he simply just needs to accept this now.

[00:05:33] That's it.

[00:05:34] Absolute bloody Burke.

[00:05:36] Dry Sandwich says, Robert brought this on himself.

[00:05:39] He acted as her father from the time she was two years old.

[00:05:42] So, he is the only father she has ever been aware of.

[00:05:44] Yet, he called her not his real child and was careless and cruel enough to do so when she overheard him.

[00:05:50] Of course, the consequences of that mean attitude is that she doesn't consider him to be her dad.

[00:05:55] He created this situation.

[00:05:58] Now, he is continuing to be immature and cruel by punishing you for stating the reality of the situation.

[00:06:04] I think you need to talk to him and because of his immature attitude, you should probably do it in the presence of a mediator.

[00:06:10] Like a family therapist.

[00:06:12] If you can afford one.

[00:06:13] If you can't afford one, I would show him this.

[00:06:16] It will hurt his relationship with you if he doesn't man up and take responsibility.

[00:06:21] He could have been doing his best to repair the damage his cruel comment made.

[00:06:25] But he didn't bother.

[00:06:27] So, of course, Sarah assumes nothing has changed.

[00:06:30] He is not the wronged person here.

[00:06:33] She is.

[00:06:34] Still preference says not the arsehole.

[00:06:37] She saw him as her real father but he didn't see her as his real daughter.

[00:06:40] He can't pick and choose when she's his daughter and when she isn't.

[00:06:45] Kat Jarman's pants says Robert is learning or perhaps more accurately having the consequences forced upon him.

[00:06:51] That some bells cannot be unrung.

[00:06:53] He jumped off a cliff.

[00:06:55] He can't go back in time and he doesn't have wings.

[00:06:58] There is nothing he can do and he just needs to accept that.

[00:07:03] And Sarah, the daughter in the story, replied in the comments.

[00:07:09] The user is strangebirthday790 and says,

[00:07:11] Hi guys, I'm Sarah.

[00:07:13] This is not my Reddit account.

[00:07:15] This is my cousin's bio father's side.

[00:07:18] I apologize for any grammar mistake and spelling errors.

[00:07:21] My cousin sent me this post.

[00:07:23] Well, my husband and I were packing some stuff for our honeymoon earlier.

[00:07:27] And she thought it was my mom.

[00:07:29] My cousin is one of my go-to people so she knows every single drama in my life.

[00:07:34] We are really tight.

[00:07:35] I was skeptical at first since I would never have thought of my mother using Reddit.

[00:07:40] It's just too random.

[00:07:41] Until I read the overheard part of the post.

[00:07:45] It just brought back very good memories.

[00:07:48] On top of that, I noticed the fake names used are based on the first letter of our real names.

[00:07:53] It gave me the confirmation that this is my mom.

[00:07:56] I just want to say that I don't appreciate that some of you are calling my mom an asshole.

[00:08:02] But I also don't think it's your fault since my mom left out a lot of details.

[00:08:07] After I left for college in the States, a lot of things happened.

[00:08:10] My cousin, the owner of this account, was the one filling me up with updates.

[00:08:15] So, mom and Robert had a huge fight regarding me.

[00:08:18] Plus, Robert always came home late and drunk from the cockpit.

[00:08:21] The twins, well, they were shielded from the drama because they were children.

[00:08:25] They kind of separated for like a year.

[00:08:28] My mom went to live with her parents.

[00:08:29] I was always in contact with mom and she always asked my whereabouts.

[00:08:33] You know, normal mom stuff.

[00:08:35] She also kind of filled me in about her separation from Robert.

[00:08:39] I actually felt guilty because I knew it was because of me.

[00:08:42] Their biggest fight was when Uncle Greg, I'll be using the fake names mom used to not have confusion,

[00:08:48] confronted Robert about the incident because when I arrived at my university dorm,

[00:08:53] I called to him sobbing and told him about everything.

[00:08:55] Uncle Greg is the typical cool single uncle and has always been protective of us cousins.

[00:09:02] So, when he learned about it, he went on full papa bear mode for me.

[00:09:06] Robert was kind of mad that he was getting into our business.

[00:09:09] Mom told Robert that Uncle Greg, actually my cousins and I called him Dada

[00:09:13] because he's really like our second parent, also has a say in this since he's family.

[00:09:18] But Robert wasn't happy about it.

[00:09:20] So, yeah, that insinuated a big argument that almost led to Robert and Uncle Greg having a fist fight.

[00:09:27] They were already throwing unkind words to each other and everyone was just emotional.

[00:09:32] When I learned about what happened, like I mentioned, I felt guilty and bad.

[00:09:36] So, I sent Robert an email since he doesn't use Messenger.

[00:09:39] In the email, I told him that he should apologize to mom and make things right for the twins.

[00:09:44] I did not receive any response from him.

[00:09:46] But eventually, he and mom made up after a year.

[00:09:49] I was quite happy because I really don't want to ruin mom's marriage.

[00:09:53] I love my mom so much and I'll do anything for her.

[00:09:56] You might be wondering why mom did not initiate divorce.

[00:10:00] Well, first of all, divorce is still illegal in my country.

[00:10:04] Second, annulment is extremely expensive and even if we were kind of well off.

[00:10:09] My mom's a physical therapist and a teacher at a university

[00:10:12] while Robert used to be a public accountant up until I was 16 and owns a commercial space.

[00:10:17] Their pockets would hurt and annulment takes a lot of time to process.

[00:10:21] Today, I reached out to them and told them that I wanted a proper conversation because this has been long overdue.

[00:10:28] I think we all need some closure.

[00:10:30] I do want to note that I've moved on but forgive?

[00:10:33] I don't think so.

[00:10:35] It pisses me off that Robert thinks I can just move on, forgive and forget.

[00:10:39] It's hard to think that this was the man I used to call papa.

[00:10:42] What's even more sad is that I still see him as my papa.

[00:10:46] The pain I felt that day and when I started calling him by his first name.

[00:10:50] I even wanted to major in accountancy because of him.

[00:10:53] He was my role model.

[00:10:55] There were a lot of moments where I just wanted to go back to that day and pretend I did not hear anything and let it slide.

[00:11:00] Then maybe I'd still call him papa but I'd be an idiot for thinking that because no matter what, the damage has already been done.

[00:11:08] So yeah, I'm contemplating if I would update you guys on our talk tomorrow.

[00:11:12] I've texted my mom not to look over the comments here because some of you are just brutal.

[00:11:17] Sorry, I just don't want my mom to feel bad.

[00:11:19] P.S. I want to add that both mom and Robert paid for my college tuition.

[00:11:24] I did not get any loans or anything.

[00:11:27] Student loans are uncommon in our country.

[00:11:29] Parents are always the ones paying.

[00:11:30] I'm actually grateful that Robert helped pay but that still doesn't remove the pain.

[00:11:35] My husband has been really patient and supportive.

[00:11:38] A little trivia.

[00:11:39] We were classmates in high school.

[00:11:41] I was the talkative girl in class, you know, social butterfly.

[00:11:45] And he was one of those goofballs and we actually fought a lot back then.

[00:11:48] And we eventually developed feelings for each other throughout the freshman year.

[00:11:52] We're surprised that we went to the university.

[00:11:54] We were both catching up on each other's lives and yeah, the rest was history.

[00:12:00] So then the original OP, the mom, comes in with an updated post and says,

[00:12:05] Hello everyone.

[00:12:05] I'd like to thank everyone for your advice and comments.

[00:12:08] My daughter found and commented on my post and we will be talking about this tomorrow.

[00:12:13] She just messaged me earlier.

[00:12:14] I was feeling tired today and could not sleep so I was able to write this.

[00:12:18] I also want to thank the people for calling me out.

[00:12:21] I know I'm not the best mother but I try.

[00:12:24] But yes, I'm an asshole for tolerating him.

[00:12:26] I don't know what will happen in our talk tomorrow but I do want everyone to have closure.

[00:12:31] I also want to add that my daughter and I do not have a strained relationship.

[00:12:35] She did not want me to walk down the aisle because then Robert will be pushing her to let him walk her too.

[00:12:42] Since he thought we're a package.

[00:12:44] So yeah, for anyone wondering where my daughter's comment is, you can search for a username.

[00:12:49] We've already read the comment by the way.

[00:12:50] I will try to update but it will be difficult since I know it's going to be emotional.

[00:12:55] So nearly a month later, Sarah comes back in to update and says,

[00:13:01] Hey guys, update on our situation.

[00:13:04] It's been almost a month but a lot has happened.

[00:13:06] We just got back from our honeymoon.

[00:13:09] Nonetheless, a lot of things have happened.

[00:13:11] Robert was still doubling down and justifying his actions.

[00:13:14] We were running in circles and could not find any middle ground.

[00:13:18] This angered my mom.

[00:13:19] They had a heated argument that escalated to violence because Robert pushed my mom and said that he should not have married a woman with baggage.

[00:13:27] This boiled my blood and I immediately slapped him.

[00:13:31] I pointed my fingers at him and warned him not to hurt mom.

[00:13:35] He was about to push me too but the good thing was my husband was able to block him from me.

[00:13:39] Things got quite physical.

[00:13:41] My husband and Robert started punching each other.

[00:13:43] My twin brother was trying to stop them.

[00:13:46] Uncle Greg was also present and tried to pull them apart.

[00:13:49] I, while in a state of panic, called the police as my twin sister tried to comfort my mom.

[00:13:54] Fortunately, the neighbors heard the commotion and helped pull my husband from Robert.

[00:13:59] At the police station, Robert and my husband were still verbally degrading each other.

[00:14:04] The police asked a lot of questions but to shorten what happened.

[00:14:08] 1. Robert admitted to pushing my mom harshly.

[00:14:12] My mom did not want to file a restraining order on him since it was the first time Robert had physically tried to harm her.

[00:14:18] We encouraged her to file but she said that they would start processing an annulment instead and separate.

[00:14:24] 2. Robert admitted that he was still gambling their savings for another bank account,

[00:14:29] which was supposed to be my sibling's college fund.

[00:14:32] They wanted to follow on my footsteps and study abroad and has nearly emptied because of debt.

[00:14:37] 2. Robert admitted that he was still gambling.

[00:14:38] My mom went ballistic and started cursing him because most of the money was from her.

[00:14:43] Furthermore, the twins don't want anything to do with their dad.

[00:14:46] They'll be paying child support until they go to college.

[00:14:49] Though he has to find a job because he is broke.

[00:14:52] He's been secretly leeching off of my mom's hard-earned money for almost two years now.

[00:14:57] My mom filed an annulment two days later.

[00:15:00] We had to cancel our flight during that day because it was too much for me.

[00:15:04] We fortunately booked the ticket with the help of my husband's friend the day my mom filed and flew to our destination a week later.

[00:15:11] Our relatives on Robert's side surprisingly support my mom.

[00:15:15] Though Robert would be staying at his parents, they disappointed him, according to my aunt, Robert's sister, but he was still their child.

[00:15:23] My mom understood them and minded her own business.

[00:15:25] My husband and I had a great honeymoon.

[00:15:28] We haven't heard much from Robert.

[00:15:30] The twins entered their last year of high school.

[00:15:33] So yeah, this will be our only update.

[00:15:36] I've told my mom that I'll be deleting her Reddit for the sake of her mental health.

[00:15:40] Thank you everyone for leaving kind messages.

[00:15:43] God bless.

[00:15:45] Gee, bloody whiz.

[00:15:46] That turned into a royal rumble at one point, didn't it?

[00:15:48] I was expecting the ultimate warrior to come running in.

[00:15:51] But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:15:54] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:15:57] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:16:01] And let's move on to another story.

[00:16:05] And some of you lovely folks have been enjoying a story from a different subreddit every once in a while.

[00:16:11] So today we're looking at the Tales from Retail subreddit from FoxyLady315 who says,

[00:16:18] Entitled customer goes nuts because we won't sell her my purse.

[00:16:23] I always know when it's got entitled in the title.

[00:16:26] We're going to go for some mad shit here.

[00:16:28] But anyway, so for the last dozen years or so, I've been carrying this gorgeous vintage designer bag I found online.

[00:16:35] I think I bought it in 2010.

[00:16:38] I love it and I will carry it until it falls apart.

[00:16:41] I get a ton of compliments on it.

[00:16:44] It also caused this one crazy story.

[00:16:46] I spent three years working in an Ivy League college town upscale clothing boutique that catered to wealthy college students and their parents and tourists.

[00:16:56] We didn't sell anything like this bag, but I suppose I can see where it would have fit in with the things we did sell.

[00:17:02] One afternoon I was getting ready to leave for my lunch break and I had this vintage bag on the counter while I was putting my coat on.

[00:17:09] An expensively dressed woman who had just walked up to the counter picked up my bag and asked my co-worker who was at the register how much it was.

[00:17:17] I walked over and politely took it from her and said it was my personal bag and it wasn't for sale.

[00:17:23] She literally snatched it out of my hands and went off on both of us.

[00:17:28] The bag was sitting on the counter.

[00:17:30] It had to be for sale.

[00:17:32] It was obviously much too fancy and expensive a bag for a retail loser to own and oh, didn't we just wish we were Ivy League students like her precious babies?

[00:17:42] Which was actually funny because I didn't work there because I needed the money.

[00:17:47] I worked there as a favor to the owner who was a friend of the family.

[00:17:51] Basically as a fill-in for one of her full-time employees who had a chronic illness and called in sick a lot.

[00:17:57] It allowed her to keep the other worker rather than letting her go for someone more reliable.

[00:18:02] This entitled woman probably really would have flipped if I told her that my husband was a professor at our beloved Ivy League school and I could easily afford that bag.

[00:18:12] Thank you very much.

[00:18:15] Sassy.

[00:18:16] Sassy.

[00:18:17] So yada yada yada.

[00:18:18] This woman just kept screaming at us.

[00:18:20] She wanted that bag so badly.

[00:18:23] She absolutely refused to believe it belonged to me.

[00:18:26] Started screaming about wanting to see the manager or the owner and didn't believe my co-worker when she informed the woman that she was the store manager.

[00:18:35] We finally told her if she didn't give me back my bag and leave, the store were going to call the police.

[00:18:41] She refused so police were called.

[00:18:44] Police get there, entitled woman gets even worse and doubles down on her particular form of insanity.

[00:18:50] She tells him that it's her bag and she brought it in with her and that we were trying to steal it from her.

[00:18:56] The cop took the bag away from her and opened it up and dumped all the contents on the counter.

[00:19:01] My cell phone, which of course I knew the passcode to and she didn't.

[00:19:06] She did.

[00:19:06] Prescription medication bottles in my name.

[00:19:09] My checkbook and everything else I carried on a daily basis.

[00:19:12] How she failed to recognize just from the weight of the bag that it had stuff in it, I don't know.

[00:19:18] You could see the fear creeping into her face as the cop came up with one item after another that proved the bag was mine.

[00:19:25] When he got to my wallet and pulled out that was clearly my license, the woman jerked away from the second cop who had a hand on her arm and pretty much ran out of the store.

[00:19:34] I kind of wish they'd gone after her but apparently they didn't think the situation warranted it because they just asked if we considered it worth pursuing her and pressing charges.

[00:19:44] Sadly, in the moment, we didn't want to be bothered.

[00:19:46] We just wanted it to be over so we could go on with our day.

[00:19:49] I wish now that we had.

[00:19:51] She needed to be taught a lesson or be forced to get mental help.

[00:19:55] She wasn't the only crazy entitled customer we ever got but she was one of the most memorable.

[00:20:02] I remember in one of my first jobs, well it was my first job actually, do you know what my first ever job was?

[00:20:09] Putting security tags on clothes in a basement for a sports shop.

[00:20:13] Literally sitting there for hours putting the security tag on.

[00:20:17] And sometimes unfolding the shirts as well and hanging them.

[00:20:21] I had to go in at one in the morning to do that shit.

[00:20:23] It was horrible.

[00:20:24] But I was there for one woman's absolute meltdown.

[00:20:28] Basically, this woman had one of those gift vouchers that you can use in many different stores.

[00:20:34] She tried to use it and basically this gift voucher was out of date by a year or so.

[00:20:40] So apparently it was like £50.

[00:20:42] So it wasn't like a £5 one or anything.

[00:20:45] It was a decent amount of money, you know.

[00:20:47] And obviously she was really distraught.

[00:20:49] Then she started getting aggressive because they wouldn't run it through.

[00:20:52] They wouldn't help her out.

[00:20:54] The staff did actually offer a 20% discount on what she wanted to purchase because they felt so sorry for her.

[00:20:59] But she wasn't having that.

[00:21:01] She wanted the full voucher.

[00:21:02] And the staff was like, it literally won't run through the till.

[00:21:06] And she was on the upper floor of this shop.

[00:21:08] And it's where they had all like the tennis rackets and tennis balls and, you know, various bits of sports equipment, not clothing.

[00:21:15] And she was so angry.

[00:21:17] She was almost like snarling at this point.

[00:21:19] And she like throws the gift card across the counter, shouts whatever, and then kicks this massive, it's like a display stand, a box kind of thing.

[00:21:29] About three foot tall maybe, full of tennis balls.

[00:21:34] Kicks it over and it goes down the stairs like a waterfall of tennis balls.

[00:21:40] And the stairs lead to the main shopping center.

[00:21:43] So all the tennis balls were going outside the shop.

[00:21:45] It was chaos.

[00:21:46] I tell you, that shop used to attract all sorts.

[00:21:49] There was also the story I told you a couple of years back now about the thief who's like, he clearly had some mental stuff going on.

[00:21:57] Just literally walk.

[00:21:58] This guy was about, I don't know, he looked about seven foot to me.

[00:22:01] He might not have been, but he looked massive.

[00:22:03] He was big.

[00:22:04] And he'd just come in.

[00:22:05] I think it was when the international football was on and there was like all the England shirts and stuff.

[00:22:10] Literally just grabbed, put his arms around like a whole bunch of clothes.

[00:22:14] Lifted him off like the hanger thing and just walked out.

[00:22:17] The alarm was going off.

[00:22:18] No one would stop him because he was a giant.

[00:22:20] I think all they could do was call the police.

[00:22:22] Not sure what happened after that, but there's a whole backstory behind that guy and why he was basically mentally unwell.

[00:22:30] Or what I assume it was.

[00:22:31] Because my dad knew him.

[00:22:33] He used to work at like the paper mill with my dad.

[00:22:36] Apparently he was a real chill guy back then.

[00:22:38] But then something happened, which I'll cover in another story another time.

[00:22:41] But I think that just tipped him over the edge.

[00:22:43] But anyway, I've gone off again long enough.

[00:22:45] I'm sorry.

[00:22:47] Anyway, I turn this one to you guys.

[00:22:49] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:51] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:54] And just a huge thank you for being here.

[00:22:55] Getting involved in the stories.

[00:22:57] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:23:00] So thank you so, so much.

[00:23:02] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:23:04] Take care and much love.

[00:23:06] Wake up.

[00:23:07] Get up.

[00:23:08] Stretch mine.

[00:23:14] Brush mine.

[00:23:23] I can smell the smoke from the bacon.

[00:23:26] See the sun shining from the windows.