I Told My Friend She's Projecting That My Husband Is Cheating On Me r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. Happy Christmas Eve. Today we have a collection of stories, a compilation if you like of older stories, just as you're doing your Christmas Eve preparations. I'm probably going to be busy over the next few days so I wanted to give you something as you know, something you like to listen to stuff in the background and I thought it'd be nice to do something like that over the Christmas period. So just a huge thank you for being here, wishing you a wonderful day ahead of you and let's get started.

[00:00:27] Now, today's first story is from AmITheArseholeHere, subreddit from SubstantialFox4386 and says AmITheArseholeHere for telling a friend that my husband can't be cheating on me and she's just projecting. For context, I, 31 female, have been with my husband Jay, 34 male, for 10 years. We met through mutual friends, began dating shortly after and became engaged after being together for about 2 years. We aren't legally married yet as we both agreed we wanted to be a good friend.

[00:00:57] We wanted an all-out wedding and to travel for our honeymoon, but that is expensive and we wanted to prioritize spending our money on things like our house, our vehicles, medical and so on. We bought each other matching rings that we wear as if we are married, refer to each other as husband and wife and present as married socially. We just haven't actually had a wedding.

[00:01:18] Our families understand this and since we are both children of divorce, our parents were fine with us not wanting to get married, since their opinion of marriage was somewhat skewed, to put it politely. Most of our friends also don't comment on our lack of being officially married, as they either don't care, agree with our logic that there are more important things to spend money on, or rather sort of people who think the point of a legal marriage isn't as necessary as it has been in the past. Then there's Trisha, 28 female.

[00:01:47] I met Trisha through an old job and we got along really well. We enjoyed the same music, food and had similar opinions on things like movies, books and clothes. Trisha is a lovely person and I do genuinely enjoy her friendship, but she occasionally goes through these odd phases where she analyzes the behavior of men in our social circle.

[00:02:07] She will present her theories to us ladies based on things like social media posts, odd behaviors, she says she noticed during our group barbecues or beach trips, things like that. While I have no problem calling out potential shitty behavior in a friend, the things she deems suspicious don't really hold water in my opinion. For example, she's never quite let go of considering a male friend gay and her evidence is that he's a bit of a perpetual bachelor.

[00:02:37] According to him, his bachelor status is because he's holding out for a girl who doesn't mind his transient lifestyle as a man, who has to travel a lot for work and would want to join him rather than wait around at home. But according to Trisha, he must be having gay dalliances across the country and refuses to tell us, even though many in our friend group are gay, out of the closet and even bring their partners to social events. Then there's my sweet Jay.

[00:03:02] Jay has never been a very physical affectionate person and he is likely autistic, but isn't interested in having a formal diagnosis. He took the RADS-R, a test to screen for autism in undiagnosed adults about four years ago when he was seeking treatment for chronic migraines. And the results suggested strongly that he may be autistic.

[00:03:24] Once he got those results back, he sort of got over the idea of wanting answers for some of his mental health questions, preferring to just go to therapy and work on finding good treatment for his migraines. According to him, the RADS-R was good enough to solve the mystery and provided some closure for him. I didn't press the issue as the idea of getting on his case about a diagnosis he didn't feel he needed seemed unnecessarily harsh to me. On top of that, Jay loves fishing.

[00:03:51] When you put these two facts together, hopefully a picture gets painted for you. But I clarify anyway. He knows about all the different types of aquatic environments in our area that you can legally fish. When all the different spawning seasons are, what every species eats, how they hunt, and how he can even tell what sort of fish is on his hook based on how it feels when he's pulling them in. He can look at a body of water and instantly tell you if fishing will be good that day. And he has never been wrong. It's like living with a fish-based psychic.

[00:04:21] Since I am an avid lover of seafood, this fishing and pursuit of fish-centric knowledge has only been a boon to me. I can express interest in wanting a fish dinner on Monday morning. And that night, he'll bring home and cook up enough fish for us to eat like royalty. He's even excited to catch fish to make him the fertilizer for my new rose bushes. Since he feels confident, he'll be able to pull up the perfect food for my new roses.

[00:04:45] The suspicious activity, according to Trisha, is that he often goes on spur-of-the-moment fishing trips by himself and can sometimes be gone for hours. He'll randomly stand up, say something like, alright, fishing time, and give me a kiss before he hits the road. But I could ordinarily agree that something like that could be suspicious. I know factually that Jay isn't cheating. And he always sends me countless pictures and videos while he's on these trips. As well as calling me on the phone when he's particularly excited about a good catch.

[00:05:14] How he's trying to get uniquely sneaky fish. A cool bird he saw. Things like that. Even if he's gone for 10 hours, my phone will be blowing up for all 10 of those hours with pictures of his sunshine smiling next to a fish. Or videos of him cheering as he shows what he's got on the stringer. A long, thin rope used to keep fish alive and attached to your boat in the water. I adore these pictures, videos, and phone calls. Since they make my heart so full with how much joy he feels and how at peace he is on the water.

[00:05:42] I would join him more often, but I usually stay home since it wouldn't be fair to our dogs if both of us left for undefined amounts of time on a whim. Instead I find peace in watching through his eyes. And when he comes home, I'm always happy to get the play-by-play of how the trip went while Jay prepares the fish for us to eat. We even have a game now where he quizzes me on what type of fish he caught. And if I win, I get a big hug. None of this is good enough for Tricia.

[00:06:09] For years now, she had her suspicions about Jay. But I've always brushed them off as I'm secure in my relationship and trust Jay implicitly. When Tricia first brought her theory to me, I brought it up to Jay who was genuinely hurt and asked if I shared in her suspicions and wanting to go fishing less. I told him no, but I felt that he deserved to know what Tricia was telling people about him. He understood and was willing to let sleeping dogs lie.

[00:06:35] Over the years, as Jay and I kept on keeping on, unmarried and in fishy bliss, Tricia became more and more adamant that not only was Jay cheating, but that was the reason we weren't married. Is that he convinced me to wait for an expensive wedding and he would rather continue on cheating during fake fishing trips. Her proof was his random trips. It's the fact that he doesn't physically touch me a lot when we're in public and how he never lets me go with him.

[00:07:03] Countless times, I've shown her the giant folder of fishing pictures and videos in my phone. Core logs showing how often we're in communication. And told her I didn't need to have him grabbing on me or dangling off me in public to feel secure with him. I've brought up our responsibilities as dog owners to not leave them alone for hours on a whim without the ability to relieve themselves outside. I've even told her multiple times over the years that she's more than welcome to ask Jay if she could tag along on a trip to see for herself how committed he is to fishing.

[00:07:33] But she always refuses. Again, since Jay has been fine with ignoring the drama. I let it slide. Up until about a week ago. Jay was talking about going on a day-long fishing trip with two of our friends, Vince and Maria, who were married. As they expressed interest in going and saw the trip as a sort of blend between a staycation and a chartered boat trip. Trisha spoke privately to me, saying that I must be happy that Maria is going.

[00:07:58] Since she'll be able to ensure that not only Jay can't cheat on me, but that Vince can't cover for him if he tries to. I've finally had enough. As now she was dragging poor Vince into this and slandering his character. And all Vince had done is agreed to a day trip with an old friend. I told Trisha that she needs to either bring her suspicions directly to Jay and hash it out with him or let it go. Because as far as I'm concerned, she's projecting her issues onto Jay since Trisha can't keep a guy longer than three months.

[00:08:27] While that assessment isn't entirely true, I wanted to hurt her feelings and cut her down to size. Since that's my sweet Jay she's dragging through the mud. Trisha not only took it personally, but she said that I was just naive and was afraid to be single. I told Trisha that she was projecting again, since she's a serial dater who scares men off with her wannabe Sherlock Holmes nonsense. And she just can't fathom a man with a real hobby because she only goes after half-baked fake gym bros,

[00:08:55] more interested in their own tits than hers, and wannabe finance bros who blow their entire paychecks on crypto. She stopped talking to me after that and hasn't reached out to me since. Granted, I haven't reached out to her either, but I'm mad at her because she was rude. Our friend group doesn't really give this entire situation much weight, saying stuff like, that's just how she is or what did you expect? Well, we know Jay isn't cheating, but he's an exception to the rule. Maybe Trisha just doesn't see that.

[00:09:25] While I was willing to stand my ground at first and not budge on the issue, now I'm wondering if maybe I was too harsh and should apologize for being petty just because I wanted to knock her down a peg and get her to give up on her theories. Am I the asshole and should I apologize? Or do I keep all ten toes in the ground and let her twist? How you said around in the third paragraph or so that Trisha is a lovely person, you enjoy her friendship. You know, I'm debating that.

[00:09:54] She's absolutely talking shit about your other half, talking shit about your husband, slandering his character. You need to have some hard evidence if you're going to approach someone with this kind of shit. And I think you really need to take a step back and realize what this person is saying about someone that you love. That's your person. They're saying this about them, accusing them of something awful, which has the possibility, if you weren't so secure in your relationship,

[00:10:23] of damaging it, of ruining it. That's the path she was going down. But Polar G says, first of all, Jay sounds wonderful. Congrats on snagging him. Good one there, good one, top one. I smiled reading when you were talking about him. Very wholesome. Trisha sucks, man. Trisha isn't helping anyone. She's actively hurting people's marriages, relationships, and friendships. I'd bail on her ASAP.

[00:10:49] I don't know what you see in a person who has put that much time into belittling your wonderful husband. I was also a little irked by people in your group chat saying Jay is the exception. How? You said Trisha is always doing this and she's wrong as fuck. Why are you friends with Trisha, this fabricating rumors about your friends being gay and your husband cheating on you? Back to the point that you told Jay this is what she's saying about you to people. Like you know, she didn't just say it to you, but everyone. And you're still letting this bitch hang around.

[00:11:20] Gross. OP replies saying, hearing it framed this way is a shock I think I needed. I wanted to get defensive at first, but you have a really solid point. Someone else here asked if maybe Trisha is interested in Jay. I'm going to dig into that. But now I want to dig into this as well. Thank you for your input. This put a lot into perspective. Chocolate Candy Bar says, not the arsehole here, but why on earth is friend allowed to talk like this about a couple

[00:11:46] or try to out a supposed gay, not gay man without anyone telling her to shut the fuck up? Feels like you guys got too stuck with the waves and are not seeing how toxic this person is because you're used to her being eccentric. But no, this is way too much. It's insane to read. I gave my friend evidence of husband not cheating. And even if he's cheating, it's your business and she can't know if you're okay with it. And also it's 2024 and adults are allowed to be married or not.

[00:12:15] Only cults care so much for other people's lifestyle. OP says, thank you for your words. You and others have helped me get a fresh perspective on everything. I'll be taking some time to collect my thoughts and get a plan of action for how to get to the bottom of things here. Lots of foul behavior to be sure. So OP comes in with a first update and says, I just wanted to give a small update now before I bring the axe down tonight. This will be shorter as Jay and I will be going fishing together this afternoon after lunch.

[00:12:44] I showed Jay the original thread and made a heart to heart that lasts until the wee hours of the morning. Firstly, he wanted me to express his appreciation for you all, as well as a shout out to his fellow fishing enthusiasts. He encourages you all to get out there and try your best, regardless of your success, and to instead share with him the joys it brings, even if we can't all go fishing together. After going through all your beautiful words and generous support, we shared our thoughts on the matter, not only as a couple,

[00:13:12] but as two people with different levels of attachment to individuals in our friend group. We both agree that we've been holding onto these friendships more out of a sense of nostalgia and desire to be kind rather than actually examining what these friends brought to the table and whether or not they enriched our lives. We've been distracted by a desire for community and old bonds, sacrificing our comfort and respect for not only ourselves, but our choice to be together and have a dynamic that some may not view as normal or valid in some capacities.

[00:13:41] While Jay and I have different views on what certain friends mean to us, we agree that enough is enough, and it's time to not only establish boundaries, but to not give an inch to those who have caused us to come to this, Trisha especially. That said, Jay is a good man. A strong, whip-smart, generous man, and reading the feedback you all provided made me realize something. I am fucking angry. I allowed a venomous waste of air around my sweet Jay. My Jay.

[00:14:10] She slandered him, belittled me, devalued what we have and I allowed it, like some sort of coward. It's going to end now, and I'm ending it my way. I will not be allowing Trisha to slink away from this or have room to twist words to make me look like anything other than a woman with righteous fury regarding the man she vowed to honor and protect. I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road, nor will I be handling this with tact and decorum. I'm blowing this bitch's social life sky-fucking-high,

[00:14:40] along with anybody that sides with her. Scorched earth, no prisoners, blood, the blood god. Holy moly. This just went the other way. Two little comments from that one. Flo-mo Jo Blow says, as she takes off the earrings and says, hold my purse. Shit just got real. Mo Yu says, I'm popping the popcorn and waiting for the update. So, OP comes in with her update and says, I'm going to keep this as brief as possible while still covering it,

[00:15:08] as there is a lot to cover involving about 15 people, and it's still all hitting the fan. Added the NSFW flair, as some of the adult topics will be mentioned below, including potential SA, sexual assault, and drug abuse. So, if you don't want to skip this part of the story, please feel free to do so. You know where the timestamps are. Probably the end of the video at this point. During the fishing trip yesterday, I blocked Trisha on everything and reached out to people to say that Jay and I would be distancing ourselves from Trisha,

[00:15:38] why we were, and shared what theory Trisha had about them if there was one. Along with any screenshots or evidence I had of Trisha talking about them. They also asked a few friends who might know if Trisha might be interested in Jay. As some people pointed out, that might have been a motivation for her to get between us. Here's what's been dug up so far. Matt, the friend Trisha alleged was gay, confirmed again that he isn't gay. He shared a story about how he, his roommate, and Trisha

[00:16:07] had a get-together at one point where they drank and smoked some weed. During the night, Trisha got handsy and tried getting together with Matt's roommate, who declined. When they sobered up the following morning, Trisha said it should be fine because men like that sort of thing. After that, Matt and his roommate weren't comfortable with her and effectively barred her from going to their place. Matt suspects this is the origin of the gay rumor. He's chosen to step away from the social group to re-evaluate some things. I didn't want to press him

[00:16:36] so I left it there. Vince and Maria have gone dark. Maria believed that Trisha was the victim in all this and Vince was vague in his responses and seemed to be taking a more hands-off approach. But they stopped responding when another friend sent a screenshot of Trisha alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter. Neither of them have anyone blocked but no one can get a response out of them either. One friend got into an argument with his girlfriend after said girlfriend went through his phone because of the drama

[00:17:06] and found either texts or pics. I don't know which that according to her proves that he's been sleeping with Trisha on and off. I heard this from his brother who reached out after his girlfriend left a voicemail saying she's kicking the friend out and the brother wanted to know what was going on. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there as that friend has also gone dark and none of us know the girlfriend very well or have her phone number. One friend came clean about her struggles with prescription pain meds after her mother lost her battle with cancer

[00:17:36] because Trisha had been trying to blackmail her into getting dirt on Matt, Jay and Vince and was using the drug abuse as leverage. Admittedly a lot of my attention got diverted after this came to light because that's a much bigger problem than my beef with Trisha. We're still working on creating a good way for people to be a support system for her moving forward and that will be what we as a group will focus on from here on out. An old friend of Jay's dropped a nuke by revealing that Trisha tried blowing him in the bathroom

[00:18:05] during a Friendsgiving dinner we had last year only to turn around and try to blow a different guy in the bathroom after Chris turned her down. Jay, some other friends and I created a new Discord server for all the friends coming out of this drama against Trisha and so far it's been a lot of comparing dates, texts, Discord DMs but it looks like Trisha has been trying to either sleep with or break up every guy in the friend group as well as either get rid of or get leverage on every girlfriend in the group. Either way we have bigger fish

[00:18:34] to fry now. It's time to put all this behind us and help our friend who really needs it. Thank you for all your kind words and helpful advice even the harsh stuff. Two top comments from that one always on side TVH says holy shit Trisha is a much bigger arsehole than ever anticipated initially. Fuck her and her very being. She deserves to be all alone and sad with nobody to talk to after all the stuff she's been doing behind everyone's back. Blackmailing someone who just lost their mother is terrible. She's genuinely

[00:19:04] such a bad human being. Disgusting person. Also I'm guessing she's pretty unattractive if everyone is turning down her advances. Lol. She's definitely jealous of all of you guys in happy relationships. Cater's Haters says Swinger Pineapples Blackmail Bathroom Blowjobs and of course fishing. This update had everything. 10 out of 10 no notes. Blackmailing someone that's gone through a traumatic experience grieving is now struggling

[00:19:34] with prescription pain meds. It takes a special kind of evil for someone to do that. Holy moly. I always wonder like trying to get in Trisha's mind. I don't want to obviously but trying to get into their mind and think how they go about their day-to-day life. Do they not ever step back and say wow I am an arsehole or they just think everything is completely normal that they're the good guys in this for some weird arse reason. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:04] What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now our next story comes from OrganicLet5948 from the Am I the Arsehole here subreddit and says Am I the Arsehole for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a trad wife? I don't even know where to begin with this. Me, 34 male and my wife, 33 female have two kids together 11 male and 9 female. Me and my wife have been together

[00:20:34] for 12 years and married for 8. Around a year ago I noticed my wife increasingly sending me these trad wife or traditional housewife TikToks. I have nothing against that type of relationship but I don't think it makes sense for our current family situation. I do earn quite a bit more than my wife and enough to sustain our family on my own but I don't see the need to do so. I work 80% and my wife 50% and besides Wednesdays whether both of us are working either one

[00:21:04] of us is always home for the kids. I could work 100% and let my wife be a stay at home mum but again both of my kids are attending school and in my mind there is no need for my wife to be at home 24 7. She got increasingly pushy about it over the past two months and again I just kept on telling her that there wasn't any need for that and if we did decide to go down that route what would she do during the hours my kids attended school? I know damn well our house doesn't need to be cleaned for 6 hours a day. She would constantly

[00:21:34] try to butter me up with you would have dinner ready every day when coming home from work and something about unlimited blowjobs or some BS like that. Again in the nicest way possible I would she'd basically been treating me like her roommate since.

[00:22:03] I just thought she would get over it and this was just a phase but god was I wrong. I came home from work yesterday and saw a bunch of presents on the dining table. At first I thought they were all for me since my birthday was in a week but then I saw the labels on them addressed to my wife. I read one of the letters attached to one of the presents. The last sentence on it was literally it was a pleasure working alongside you and I wish you all the best moving forwards. I thought this was some sick prank. A few minutes later

[00:22:33] my wife just casually strolled into the living room acting like nothing was wrong. I guess she saw my mad expression and had the audacity to tell me you'll get over it. I just lost it. I just left without saying another word and went to my parents house. I feel absolutely disrespected. Why the fuck would my wife think it was okay to just quit her job without telling me and just expect me to be fine with it. My wife has been bombarded me with texts and calls demanding to know where I am and that the kids miss me.

[00:23:03] I just told her to go and that was done with her and then proceeded to block her. My son just sent me a voicemail crying and asking why I was divorcing mum and if I was leaving the family and I guess that kind of broke my heart. I haven't responded and honestly don't know what to say to him. My mother-in-law has also been demanding that I return home and apologize to my wife. My parents also seem to be siding with my wife since they are traditional muslims. My mom also used to be a stay at home mom.

[00:23:33] I feel like I am wrong for immediately jumping the divorce without hearing her out and besides this whole job drama love my wife too much for this to be the end of our otherwise perfect marriage but on the other hand I feel like I am I the asshole here now OP touched on the trust factor and once the trust is

[00:24:03] gone and I mention this a lot in stories once the trust is gone what is there to make a decision that's going to affect your whole family without any discussion yeah I can totally see why you lost trust but what really stuck out to me through the whole story was the amount of manipulation that went on withholding sex from you to show you what you would be missing out on and gathering family members to turn against you like that your own parents as well and the worst thing for me was getting your son she's

[00:24:32] obviously gone to your son and told him all this sort of stuff as well which you know shouldn't have been involved at all and it but bird mind says you don't just quit your job and get presents from everyone that happens when you hand in your notice and leave like a good employee meaning she handed in her notice at least a couple of weeks ago and has been

[00:25:02] quietly failing to mention that fact to her husband she's had plenty of time to think about what she's doing and decided fuck it I just won't tell him until it's too late you don't do that if you care about what your partner thinks chain gun samurai says in quotes you will get over it and says she didn't give a fuck about you dude not one single solitary fuck the only reason she wants you back at the house is because you'd be the one paying the bills not the ass Klingons ate my cheese what a

[00:25:32] username says have a friend who got really into the trad wife thing because of tiktok then she went to a trad wife meetup and found out that most of those trad wives make a lot of money from being influencers and paid to have nannies and housekeepers so they can spend their time creating content getting ready filming editing all that they're working and they hire help you just don't tell their followers that a lot of clothing makeup food furniture utensil brands pay them to use their products in their videos more than a few bring in more

[00:26:02] money than their husbands but make it out that they don't earn anything and their husbands pay for everything Estee Williams the famous blonde tiktok trad wife is one of them she is a housekeeper almost everything in her videos is sent to her by various brands to use in her videos she makes on average about $15,000 a month after that meetup my friend went back to work and stopped with a trad wife lie because the social media trad wives are working already and are selling lies global monk says if you had agreed on

[00:26:32] this then it wouldn't be an issue but she lied and tried to manipulate you into this and that's what I have a problem with she has no respect for you whatsoever I'm a consider your children

[00:27:02] though you need to talk to them and explain to them what's going on in an age appropriate way as at this point you don't know what your wife has been filling their heads with also fill your in-laws in on the truth in case she's twisted it with them as well make sure you keep in close contact with your children so they know you love them and aren't abandoning them and then divorce your wife she's shown her true colors and how little she respects you in your marriage now she gets to reap the benefits so some additional information someone asks about opie about their religion and opie

[00:27:32] says thank you but we aren't strict muslims yes we pray et serca but we don't follow any of the traditional gender or ideologies my wife tends to be a bit more on the conservative and traditional side where I'm a bit more liberal i mean doesn't the same apply for christianity someone says go back home opie says i told my son i'll be home by tomorrow i'll just be gone for two days there had to have been red flags earlier than this opie says the only red flag i saw was her constantly ignoring me if we had a

[00:28:01] disagreement but usually that was maybe for a max of two days this was the first time she did that for a longer period of time someone says the crux of the issue and opie says the fact that she should be home relaxed isn't the issue it's the fact that we now have to significantly cut down on our current expenses and I'm not even sure if my company is willing to let me work 100% the opie comes in with an update and says first of all I just want to thank you guys for the overwhelming support I've received I've received a ton

[00:28:40] I just want to add a few crucial details that I missed to mention in my original post I suffer from a genetic heart condition that puts me at risk to stress induced cardiac arrest I used to work full time but was forced to cut down on my work after suffering a silent heart attack this was nearly a decade ago but since then I've worked on my physical and mental well being some people didn't understand me constantly mentioning why it was such an issue working the extra 20% I honestly don't know how

[00:29:10] much time I have left and my kids are the most important things in my life for my own mental health it's essential that I have nothing I hate my fucking job and purely continue for the sake of to gather my thoughts on everything what she did seemed like the ultimate slap in the face but I went back with the intention to resolve this and didn't want

[00:29:40] to escalate this fucking nightmare my wife seemed happy I returned but wasn't apologetic at all my kids especially my son were ecstatic that sort of made me ignore the lack of remorse for the time being that same night after putting my kids to bed I told her we need to have a serious discussion I told her how I felt about everything she did the fact that she knows about my health condition and still went through with it the fact that I set clear boundaries and she chose to quit her job without my consent how the fact

[00:30:10] that she told my son that I was going to abandon the family really felt like a stab in the back how throughout all of this she didn't even seem remorseful once the fact that she chose her own happiness to the detriment of mine the fact that I sacrificed so much for the family and I got repaid like this the fact

[00:30:43] the story here's a summary of what she said she felt ignored by me constantly rejecting her proposal she had worked long enough and this was finally the time for her to enjoy her life as a true wife she also said that I was getting into a heated argument I couldn't bear any of it anymore and just ended up

[00:31:13] everything off and wanted to embrace her new role by constantly trying to have sex with me and by making me my favorite dishes just felt like she was trying to manipulate me again and I wasn't having any of

[00:31:43] her and to my surprise she had a full on mental breakdown I just held her as she started apologizing for what she did she claimed she didn't understand how much she hurt me she was sorry for making me feel like an afterthought etc we ended up sleeping in the same bed yesterday I felt like things were finally moving in the right direction and I again asked her about searching for

[00:32:13] it feels like progress is being made but I don't know this might just be another manipulation tactic of hers I'll probably make a final update in a month or so reddit isn't doing my mental health any favors how would you guys move forward in this situation could I have done something better is she being genuine and to those incels who constantly bring up Islam as a way to justify her behavior please shut the fuck up commenter says if you're still questioning things at this point respectfully take your fucking head out

[00:32:43] of your ass opie says I guess you're hinting at divorce let me make it more clear for you in our culture divorce is the last resort and extremely frowned upon and especially if there are kids involved I want to fix this if she shows no improvement after I tried everything yes then I go for divorce someone says she's not even being a good trad wife since they are supposedly meant to put their husband's needs ahead of their own but she has definitely put in her wants ahead of your needs it sounds like you really need couples counselling

[00:33:13] opie says she believes my needs solely revolve around sex that's the problem and in a different comment opie says she has always been like this she fucks up or wants something from me equals trying to fuck me 24 7 the commenter says when she came to you with her issue what did you do to help find a solution opie says I constantly told her she can reduce her

[00:33:49] manipulation tactic when she started breaking down obviously I don't know the ins and outs of it of course but with everything else the pattern of manipulation that went through in this story it certainly felt like it to me but what do you guys

[00:34:19] in my husband my marriage has been struggling for the last year I 32 female have been married to my husband 33 male for 6 years together for 8 years and we have known each other for over 20 years my husband is extremely accommodating he doesn't help me with any household chores even though we both have the same work day he stalls until I lose patience and do it myself this took a toll on our relationship as it is stressful to take care of the house and my daughter alone and also collect socks

[00:34:49] and shirts that he scatters everywhere now what was the last straw we don't have a car and we needed to go buy some things I planned a day to do it in the morning and he would go with me I woke up and did several tasks while he stayed on the couch I didn't say anything because it was his day off when we were close to leaving time my father in law called and asked for a favor he got up and said he would help him it would be quick and that our father in law would give us a ride afterwards okay it wasn't our plan but I can wait

[00:35:19] another two hours to go my father in law is a hustler lives off freelance work and is supported by his mother my husband's grandmother he never works and always takes money and never pays it's a in the car my father in law asks why my daughter female four didn't go to school and I said that I let her miss it

[00:35:48] because it was just a play day and she asked to go shopping with me and he simply says that I'm lazy and I didn't want to take her to school out of laziness and committed to going to the gym that I should have the same commitment to school he was rude and accusatory as if he was recriminating me I felt my blood boiling in my veins firstly because I do a thousand things a day I barely have time to rest and secondly because my father-in-law is the laziest person I've ever seen he's never worked in his life I took a deep breath

[00:36:27] and didn't even try to explain anything what did I expect him to fight no but him to at least say don't talk to my wife like

[00:36:57] marriage but I feel like he isn't fighting for me and though I really want to fight for divorce I'm hurt and I'm afraid I'm overreacting because of this and we'll start in the comments with boring clothes who says in

[00:37:27] if everything is down to you what would you lose without him if he stalls until you give in and take over his share of responsibilities what is he actually doing that you couldn't do yourself as a single parent or how is your situation now any different to you and

[00:37:57] responsibilities of your child than you seemingly currently do in your marriage if you haven't expressed these issues to him and how close you are to calling it quits now is the time to share if you've already tried to no avail then maybe it's time to

[00:38:27] change if you're even willing to go down that path anymore OP also said that the husband was accommodating at the start I assumed they meant not accommodating but OP comes in with an update and says a few weeks ago I made a post about my marriage well this is an update I'm going to file for divorce since I wrote here many things have happened but long story short I told my husband it wasn't working for me anymore I asked for time to put things in order he didn't respect my space and a few days he got sick and ended

[00:38:57] up staying at home he was at my father in law's house and he was sleeping on the couch he asked us to go to individual and couples therapy and he said he didn't want to lose me well a few days ago my brother in law came to visit me and they were talking about our marriage I'm not proud to say this but I overheard part of the conversation my husband said he was trying to get back to

[00:39:39] I've been avoiding him and honestly there's no more time to fix our marriage how could he be capable of something like this I feel deceived and manipulated in ways I can barely explain he still doesn't know that I

[00:40:09] your husband don't tell him anything till you're ready to serve in the paper make sure not to get intimate just in case in his family seem to have no hope of changing in the future so get out ASAP and live your life focus on yourself and your child and start planning for a new life without dead weight on your back you're going to be a good role model for your daughter for her future wish you all the best but

[00:40:46] now I'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below now our five and says would I be the asshole here for telling my husband his bio child was conceived to entrap him I 27 female married my now husband 32 male last year this is the second marriage for both of us and we are annoyingly happy together and have a blended family with three

[00:41:16] amazing kids I and my bio kids temporarily moved into house to buy together my husband is neurodivergent and just doesn't see certain things and has a difficulty keep cleaning no problem I love organizing and cleaning so I got this however while cleaning out the closets and garage I discovered that his ex left many of her personal belongings

[00:41:46] behind when she moved out one year before I met my husband I am not the other woman this included old family pictures, family mementos heirlooms etc at first we would send these things with her when she picked up my stepdaughter for her custody weekends but she finally told us she wasn't interested in receiving any more of her old things and asked us to just donate or throw anything else no matter what okay fine after this I

[00:42:52] so fence because this feels huge she was very emotionally abusive towards him and constantly cheated on him during their entire marriage but would use him getting her pregnant as the reason why she was with him and he needed to support her and take her back no matter what my brain is so muddled right now so reddit would I be the asshole here for telling him about what I discovered PS in case anyone is wondering my stepdaughter is an adorable carbon copy of her dad in

[00:43:22] feminine form it's uncanny actually so there isn't any doubt about paternity here I had it for some more clarity since people are mean my only motive for telling him would be to try to alleviate some of his guilt around him being told by his ex that he was at fault for the pregnancy which his ex used as an excuse to abuse and manipulate him I have a lot of folks commenting on here about my I can say with complete confidence that neither of us

[00:43:52] would ever tell her she is absolutely innocent in all of this and telling her would accomplish nothing but harm I have no interest in hurting or harming anyone else involved here not even his abusive ex we are not in competition this knowledge isn't something I'm trying to weaponize against her because I you've got his best interests at heart and you know I think

[00:44:22] this is a discussion that needs to be had I think he deserves to know this especially if it's been thrown in his face and used against him in different scenarios you know it might bring him some peace with that smarter than the average bear great name hey there boo truly amazing that most redditors will unequivocally go scorched earth on liars and cheaters but believe OP should just destroy this diary the ex made a unilateral decision to go off birth control and

[00:44:52] deliberately got pregnant at a minimum the husband deserves to know this a lie by omission is still a lie all the information herds her husband probably when and how to share the information is important OP is not obligated to cover for the ex but should be protective of her husband not the asshole here but plan this carefully don't blurt it out in anger also the child doesn't need to know noise 23 says unpopular opinion the truth is

[00:45:39] in which to do it but don't delay and red hoodie says depends on what kind of person your new hubby is i see a lot of people saying it's going to cause unnecessary problems but most people are don't rock the boat chicken shits if your husband is the type of person that wants a comfortable lie or to ignore the truth about people keep it a secret but most neurodivirgent people i know would rather have the painful truth not only that but by knowing this and not telling him you are now keeping your own secret from him

[00:46:09] if you start off a relationship with the idea that you were going to protect someone from pain the relationship is doomed life is pain relationships are about supporting and comforting your partner during painful times what happens if he finds out later on his and had no clue what you should be concerned with is is your relationship solid enough to deal with bad news or is your relationship based on hiding from the negative

[00:46:39] sides of people and walking on eggshells opi says i'm also neurodivergent and the truth transparency and straightforwardness is incredibly important to me personally but i also realize that my perspective may be skewed because of the neurodivergence factor this is why i came to reddit for some outside perspective and i was thinking along those lines at the same time as well that the truth is very likely to come out one day in some shape or form and if husband was to

[00:47:09] discover that you knew about this and never told him that could be potentially devastating but opi comes in with her update 10 days later and says i told him i brought to know about i was honest with him and told him how i discovered this information and he was really understanding he told me he was sorry he put me in the situation of having to clean out his ex's stuff i

[00:47:55] weaponized to gain something from him again we took photos of the journal entry and saved them in a locked file on his drive we tossed the physical copy of the journal so there would never be

[00:48:25] us he been talking this through with his therapist and seems really peaceful around the whole situation if anything i've seen him become even more tender towards his daughter now there isn't the fog of guilt surrounding his fatherhood a million thanks to

[00:48:55] Zanaf says considering the piece of work his exes you two should come up with a plan on how to handle it if his ex reveals their daughter was a pawn the three of you knowing it and hiding it will cause a lot of feelings of betrayal I'm not saying you should tell her that's a lot of emotional baggage to put on her

[00:49:26] well I hope her bio mum would never be that much of a monster you never know so we've been talking over things if nobody says anything I don't see any reason for her to know she is loved by so many people and is such a wonderful kiddo it doesn't matter the reason she came into being because we are all just so glad she is here a lovely step mum in this story with a pretty awesome in some ways update they sound like a wonderful couple who's got their daughter's best interest at heart

[00:49:55] and I think they handled it in the best way possible for them but what do you guys make of this situation how would you have dealt with it of one year told our friends explicit stuff about our sexual life including the fact that I was a virgin when we started dating and joked

[00:50:25] about it I feel really hurt personally I'm not sure if I'm right to I don't know basically it was meant to be a girls night out and there was 12 of them I think my older sister who was

[00:50:55] a close friend of my girlfriend and part of her inner circle friendship group was going along with them it sounded like they were going to have fun and I wish them the best well since my girlfriend was going and my sister was going my girlfriend was at my house beforehand and my sister drove her to the restaurant where they were all meeting up my sister was going to drop her off at home afterwards and

[00:51:38] said she was just really tired and not in the mood I asked her if she dropped my girlfriend off at her place she said no she can take a taxi it was really weird because she seemed visibly angry and I know my sister she's not the sort of person to easily get angry she was like even slamming doors and shit the next day she was in a bit of a

[00:52:08] maybe feeling unwell next day on sunday she opened up she said look something happened the other day when I was out with your girlfriend and her friends she said aha I knew it she said you're not gonna like what you're going to hear but

[00:52:38] didn't like it so they didn't finish it and they couldn't decide on what other movie to watch so they started drinking and gossiping like started gossiping about past and current boyfriends relationship sex sis said her girlfriend may be drunk a bit too much and started revealing too much information about you stuff she shouldn't have I said what sort of stuff she said you don't want to know I said you can't just start telling me that and then cut me off without telling me what she said what did she say

[00:53:08] sister said I really didn't want to talk about this but you want to know and you probably have a right to and she proceeded to tell me the stuff my semi drunken girlfriend had said about me apparently she was thing where it bends to the side I never really felt self conscious about it because I thought it was the sort

[00:53:38] of thing that most girls wouldn't care about and my girlfriend never mentioned it but now I feel incredibly self conscious and apparently I ejaculate too quickly and make weird sounds when I do I was like what the fuck why is she even talking about this how drunk was she apparently not even that drunk like she had a few drinks but not that many I told my sister why did you have to tell me all this I wish you hadn't now I just feel hurt she said I felt you have a right to know your girlfriend is saying this stuff I just

[00:54:08] couldn't stand being in the same room as her when she was saying it off that is why I was so angry and left early she seemed to feel better having gotten that off her chest but I couldn't understand why she was so angry about it my girlfriend had been saying all that stuff about me and sure I was hurt by it but

[00:54:38] I just jokes about it in front of other people is it right for me to be upset about this is it right for me to be hurt or am I over reacting was it fair for her to talk about all that stuff in front of the other girls even if they were all gossiping should I bring this up with her and tell her that it really hurts me what if she tells me to just get over it or I should forget about it and move on because it's no big deal even though I feel it's a big deal to me am I being too sensitive now first I find it weird the

[00:55:08] girlfriend in itself talking about the whole situation in general but talking in front of OP's sister at the same time the fuck I don't blame the sister for telling you about your girlfriend talking behind your back about you body shaming you for one your sister is pissed off on your behalf and I can't blame you I'm trying to put myself like if I found anyone

[00:55:38] talking about one of my family members like that as well I'd be pissed off and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting in this situation or not but that's a deal breaker for me if your sister got upset because she cares about you and it hurt her to see your girlfriend making fun of you behind your back yes you're absolutely right to feel hurt and betrayed by this you should talk to your girlfriend about it and how she responds

[00:56:08] will tell you how to proceed if she's remorseful and apologetic you may be able to work past this if she tells you to get over it that it's not a big deal or anything like that it means she doesn't respect you and you should break up half a dozen cats says makes complete sense to

[00:56:46] then you need to confront your girlfriend about disrespecting you in front of all of her friends that was all very personal and she had no business airing it in public quite frankly you'll be well within your right to break up with her for this because not only has she hurt you she's now giving you the reason to not trust her anymore it's up to

[00:57:16] some of you were really supportive in the last one some of were a bit less but that's okay I appreciate all your advice hope this update can clear things up after I found out from my sister what girls

[00:57:46] do I hope not I was feeling pretty self conscious about my penis as well I never thought it was abnormal I thought the slight bend was just a feature I didn't know it's something a girl would ever be disturbed by I haven't seen that many embarrassing to say but I looked up a few pictures of penises on google and googling whether there was anything wrong with me or if it's

[00:58:16] momentary blow I realized I had to confront my girlfriend about it the more I just thought about it the more I intensely scrutinized myself and scrutinized my actions and behavior the more I began to doubt my own opinion of myself was I overreacting maybe probably but I had opened up myself to my girlfriend in

[00:58:46] I mean everyone sucks at sex first off right surely it's not just me and even if I did she never mentioned it I would rather be able to improve than just remain a joke for her to mock with her friends I obviously care for her very much I wish she would open up about these things to me and not to others I was feeling really depressed and doubtless of myself needless to say my first instinct was to wrongfully shoot the messenger I started harassing my sister with questions about what exactly my girlfriend had said she didn't want to tell me but I told her I

[00:59:16] needed to know exactly what it was because I was planning to confront her about it my sister sighed and relented figuring that the girlfriend would probably assume as much anyway I asked her are you sure it's right for me to confront her about this sister said yes if

[00:59:46] you feel that's what you my sister said sorry at first and left it at that I kept going at it harassing her about it and blaming it on her she just stayed silent and visibly frustrated

[01:00:16] eventually storming upstairs to her bedroom I followed her up and kept pestering her about it why did you have to tell me why did you even think I needed to know something like that I definitely pushed too far she opened out for you when she clearly has no respect for you but no go running to her she is exactly what you deserve she called me a fucking idiot numerous times and slammed the door on my

[01:00:46] face I was an idiot and a terrible person for attacking the one person who had my back in all of this I wasn't thinking straight and

[01:01:26] I that afternoon and she didn't want to be around we were sitting at home and I decided to finally bring up the thing my sister was upstairs

[01:01:57] in and proceeded to dismiss it saying she couldn't believe I was worked up about that I told her that she knows I cared deeply about what she has to say about me and I was really hurt by all the stuff she said and I think an apology is in order she said fine I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that she said she wouldn't do it again and she didn't know that

[01:02:37] I told her that it was really hurtful to me she did a sarcastic aww face and seemed to be laughing at the whole thing then she asked me how I knew about it

[01:03:08] she proceeded to go on complaining about my sister twisting the whole situation to blame it on her saying that none of this would have happened and I would have never found out about it if my sister hadn't told me I told her my sister was just looking out for me and she shouldn't hold any blame she said do you really believe that your sister always tries to pretend she's so told her that's not true my sister

[01:03:38] just cared about my feelings she should stop blaming her girlfriend's response if she cared about your feelings she wouldn't told you then the girlfriend started asking if my sister was around at home I said she was upstairs in her room but now is probably not a good but but but so my girlfriend and I stayed in the living room eventually my sister came downstairs while she was coming downstairs she was calling my name saying there was something important she needed to talk to me about then she saw me and my girlfriend were sitting together

[01:04:08] she said oh I didn't know you were here there was an extremely cold silence between them then there was a bit of chit chat but it was very awkward then my girlfriend opened up what do you think gives you the right to interfere in the relationship between me and my boyfriend my sister was stunned she just stared back and didn't answer girlfriend said don't act like you don't know what you did I know you always enjoy stirring the pot she started telling her that she couldn't trust her as a friend and started accusing my sister of being a horrible friend

[01:04:37] and she shouldn't even go to the girls night if she couldn't keep her mouth shut had to intervene I said that's enough but she didn't stop it broke out into an open argument between the two of them I kept trying to calm them down it was mostly just the girlfriend relentlessly attacking my sister my sister's eyes swelled up with tears and she just turned to me and says why didn't you stand up for me she's a fucking bitch can't you even hear what she's saying why are you even with her at that point the girlfriend said she couldn't take it anymore and had to leave

[01:05:07] before she left I said I need to speak with her at that point I broke up with her I didn't really give a reason I just said I felt things weren't really working out and it's better for everyone if we end our relationship she was really hurt and didn't seem to understand why I told her because of everything that happened recently we should stop seeing each other that's the enmity between her and my sister I didn't think I could be with her after that she was incredibly upset but she seemed to understand my girlfriend said maybe we can still be friends I said maybe

[01:05:36] we'll see but we just need some time apart now we hugged and kissed one last time said goodbye and she went on our way my sister had disappeared I figured she was back in her bedroom I went upstairs and she was just sitting on her bed listening to music staring at the ground I sat beside her and tried to comfort her I told her I'm sorry for everything I told her how sorry I was for lashing out at her earlier but trying to blame things on her I basically told her I was incredibly sorry for everything that had happened and I was sorry for my girlfriend's behavior

[01:06:06] towards her just then she said that my girlfriend was right that she's an idiot who always sticks her nose in everything trying to make things better but she should have just kept her mouth shut I told her that she had done the right thing that I knew she was just looking out for me like any brother or sister would I told her I'd broken up with my girlfriend just minutes earlier she says she thought I did the right thing I said I was sorry she had to endure all that and gave her a hug asking her if there's anything that I could do to thank her

[01:06:33] she told me she just wanted to see me smile more often the next few days she seemed kind of depressed and dreary not leaving the house much she tried to put on a brave face and smile when she can but I knew something was up on Friday afternoon I noticed she was sitting at home eating chips and watching cartoons on TV in old dirty clothes it looked like she hadn't showered in a while and her hair was dirty I asked her what was up and she said nothing I told her I thought she was going out again with her friends on Friday to a restaurant

[01:07:03] i.e. a girl's night like she had the previous week she said not anymore I said why not she responded that her friends had officially disinvited her my reaction was that's horrible how can friends do that she said she didn't think they were her friends anymore all of the girls she had gone with last week had stopped responding to her and were ignoring her some of them had deleted her on social media and were basically all giving her the cold shoulder apparently they really hated the fact that she had ruined the gossip of their girl's night

[01:07:32] and basically all the girls in that social group followed my girlfriend's lead so when my girlfriend cut my sister out of her life they followed suit and did the same I was shocked I couldn't believe that so-called friends would do such a thing to someone just completely defriend them from life over one incident she just shrugged and didn't seem to care I lamented over the fact that all of this had happened to her just because she chose to stick up for me and tell me the things that my girlfriend had been saying about me my sister just shrugged in response

[01:08:00] I told her I'm sorry but I felt this was partially my fault I said I don't understand how she can still have no regret having told me all this she said why would I regret it I don't care about them you mean more to me I'll find other friends after all I told her that is an incredibly nice thing to say and hugged her I sat down and asked her what she was watching but she didn't seem very interested in it she said she had a lot of fun with them last time and she felt kind of sad that they were all having fun without her while she was stuck at home like a loser

[01:08:31] Friday nights were a sort of thing for her and the girls and they'd regularly go out so it was understandable she'd feel upset she no longer had that and she'd lost a bunch of friends I asked her what restaurant they were going to she told me they normally went to the same one each week apparently it was a really fancy place I said screw it she doesn't have to stay at home I'll take her to somewhere even better at first she thought I was kidding but I told her I was serious we got dressed and I drove us to this new place that I haven't been to before it was expensive as fuck

[01:09:00] I spent over $200 on the two of us but it was worth it and we had a good time her food was excellent at least she wasn't feeling so down afterwards I still feel terrible over the way I initially handled it I feel ashamed over my initial misdirected anger and how I was rude and careless honestly I feel much better off after having broken up with a girlfriend I was expecting I'd have a period right afterwards where I'd feel down and regretful about it but the more days that go by the more sure I am I made the right decision

[01:09:30] but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation how would you have dealt with that if it was you let us know your thoughts down in the comments below now our next story comes from LuckyStrike222 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit and says my family wants to hide my heterochromia for my sister's wedding my 21 male sister 32 female is getting married and they want me to sing at her wedding but also wear contacts

[01:09:58] to hide my heterochromia I have two different colored eyes I'm Asian and my family thinks that my heterochromia will never be socially accepted slash always looked down upon and may even be perceived as some kind of illness or a disability and they don't want the new in-laws to perceive any flaws about us and our family I live abroad so I don't see my family often every time I visit I get urged to go out in public at events to see family wearing contacts spring every year

[01:10:28] when the wedding is we have really bad yellow dust and wearing the contacts is going to be a pain I have good vision so contacts are not part of my life at all except to hide my colored eye my mum has always been image orientated grooming my sister and I our whole lives and being hypercritical about our looks my only flaw is my eye condition my sister's flaw was her nose and my mum bullied her into surgery for a small bump no one would have said anything bad about

[01:10:57] should I just suck it up and wear the contacts for that day maybe I'm picking the wrong time to retaliate when is it the right time edits I can't keep up with the comments so I will write here and hope you see it our complete heterochromia brown and blue as I mentioned in my post I live abroad I grew up and went to school outside my home country from a young age where I never hide my condition the older I get the more I receive a lot of compliments for it in the US and Europe I've been told

[01:11:27] it suits my demeanor and personality which is on the quieter side I've been scouted a few times for modeling but in all honesty I'm not that good at it in my home country most people have the same eye color more homogenous society and while enhancing your eye color is popular it still tends to lean very natural looking I was raised to hide my eye color from a young age there so admittedly it's been hard to move away from that because I got so used to wearing contacts every time I visit I'm not a shy person

[01:11:56] but I'm an introvert and not having attention on me when I don't want it has always been a personal incentive to comply I've gone without contacts in my home country on a few occasions the responses have been mixed there have been some comments from older people like a comment which op links which are in alignment with my mom's fears but when it comes to younger people the reactions are often positive not always though a lot some people know what heterochromia is and clock it I also have been told I come across

[01:12:26] intimidating to approach in general even in contact so most of the time no one will say anything to my face they will just steal glances and whisper to each other when people do end up talking to me they say things like but then I talked to you and you were kind you have a calm energy your eyes are really cool slash beautiful I am aware many people find my eyes attractive but my mom is an older woman who has been conditioned by her own upbringing but worries are things like my heterochromia will hold me back from success jobs

[01:12:56] opportunities etc in the country she grew up in which holds some truth and is the reality there I shared here a little bit about her perspective please keep in mind that this post is about my personal experience I am not trying to speak for all the Asians of the world my family is conservative the social circle is too this post is mainly situational about my sister's wedding on that note I think it is likely going to come down to me wearing contacts for my sister just to keep things civil and out of respect

[01:13:26] for her I am not going to do it for my mom or grandmother or anyone else but for my sister who has to not add to her stress however I will be doing this on the condition that I will not be wearing any contacts on visits moving forward I am sure once I share my feelings my sister will understand and back me up on that I might even show her this page thank you all for your positive comments for reading this I am not good at writing and sharing your opinion to the optometrists and ophthalmologists I saw some of your comments

[01:13:55] I will do the right thing to a few people who saw my slip up in my main reddit on accident I appreciate you complimenting me but please stop doxing me in the comments I have asked some people to adapt now I know this is very easy for me to say but don't be wearing those contacts go as yourself be yourself and I would maybe talk to your sister about this to bring comfort to yourself to get it from her that you know you come as yourself they want you to sing at this wedding you come as yourself

[01:14:24] and I would really hope that your sister would agree with you and you do exactly that be you but mirrored garage wall says nope your eyes are gorgeous wear them with pride or go malicious compliance and wear full black sclera context sclera oh my word I just googled it they're terrifying life significance says don't wear them you'll be setting a standard they will expect you to keep up all the time if you do family can be critical and it's easy to do

[01:14:53] as they say for approval but you are unique the heteroacromia eyes are beautiful never let anyone even family make you think otherwise go with pride opie says this is one of the reasons I feel like not wearing them it's a good opportunity to make everyone see my eyes even some family who previously had no idea about my condition but on the other hand I feel bad I'm using my older sister's wedding to do that I don't want to cause drama at her wedding or take away from her moment in any way

[01:15:22] that holds me back life significance have you tried talking to her about the situation maybe asking her if she'd be okay with you doing that could ease some discomfort absolutely opie says I've talked to her she is feeling her own pressure during the wedding and wants everything perfect my dad passed away at the end of last year so there's an added intensity to everything I didn't share my feelings I just asked if I could go without contacts and she asked if I would please wear them to avoid issues with our mom

[01:15:51] adding to her plate my sister and I have a good relationship I'd do it for her but I'm thinking maybe I need to have a deeper conversation maybe she doesn't know how I feel about it opie came in with an update and said I got some DMs requesting an update I didn't reply to anyone because the wedding hadn't happened yet and there was nothing to say since I already answered questions in my original post I will do a simple update here and not answer any more questions lol if you have a really burning question you can ask it but I don't check reddit often

[01:16:21] I had a long conversation with my sister we had to do it over FaceTime because I was still abroad but in a way it was better she understands and was genuinely feeling bad about having to request this from me but we both decided it's not the time to defy the family I put my personal frustration aside and after making the first post I began to feel that I was being selfish I think most people didn't want me to make the decision I did I'm sorry my sister was prepared to let me participate in her wedding without any contacts

[01:16:51] but I decided to wear them because it's her wedding day I wore contacts yellow dust was yellow dusting lol but most of the wedding was indoor so it was tolerable I didn't do the malicious compliance guys so no Halloween demon contact lenses the optometrists and eye surgeons on the original post convinced me it's not worth the risk I already hate putting in contacts after the wedding I took the contacts out mum wasn't happy and I haven't been wearing them here during my visit

[01:17:20] after the first few encounters about it with family and relatives it's mostly okay with me now it's a little bit exhausting having the same conversations and hearing the same responses I think I might need therapy or something for some of the feelings I have and issues with my mum that have been created now because of my choice but thanks for helping me get over the hardest part but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[01:17:49] let's move on to another story which comes from the am I the arsehole subreddit from tequila shots at work this one's going that says am I the arsehole for ordering tequila shots for my work colleagues at Friday lunchtime I 26 male work in a busy lab medical diagnostics and every Friday we go as a team six to seven people to a local sports bar to have a team building lunch on the boss's company card yesterday our boss

[01:18:18] were swamped with deadlines but said the rest of us could go anyway as long as we paid for any alcoholic drinks ourselves usually the boss plus one to two other people will order a small beer with their lunch so I have consumed alcohol on the clock before in this job I was even thinking that without the boss there that I might order a big beer this time when we have arrived though me and my work bro 25 male were drawn to a new offer the bar had on tequila shots five for ten dollars in our defense

[01:18:48] we had just had a very stressful morning so we proposed to the team that we buy a single round of shots to commemorate it a couple of our colleagues were a little reluctant but after a little convincing we were soon toasting to a morning of hard work that's when my work bro proposed we order a second round of shots I have a pretty high tolerance to alcohol so it was no problem with me I knew for a fact that we have a couple of lightweight colleagues for example a lady who rarely drinks

[01:19:17] 23 female but we still managed to convince the rest of the table to drink with us a second time after that the two females with us tapped out but the three remaining guys myself included decided to split ten further tequila shots in our defense as far as team building goes the outing was a roaring success I think I learned more about my colleagues in those one and a half hours than I have in the last two years unfortunately when we got back to the office our boss could smell

[01:19:46] the tequila on my breath my work bro very stupidly decided to be honest and told him that some of us had had five plus shots of alcohol at lunch my boss's face turned bright fucking red and he told us all to go home immediately and that it wasn't safe for us to be working in a lab while inebriated I calmly explained to him that I in fact still felt very sober have a very high tolerance remember but he wasn't having it I'm genuinely worried what's going to happen

[01:20:16] on Monday morning the two female colleagues called me and my work bro assholes for taking it too far and getting everyone in trouble I see their point of view but on the other hand we did have a really good time while at the bar help us out reddit who is the arsehole here and in the comments Omrade says you're the arsehole I'm pretty sure being inebriated while working in a medical diagnostic lab is a felony you should be thankful you weren't fired I wouldn't count that he isn't going to get fired just yet

[01:20:44] I think boss being pissed off and sending them all home isn't going to end well but Pine Boxing says you're the arsehole five shots over one and a half hours and returning to work in a medical lab crap days are over bro multiverse replies that saying god I can't even imagine wanting to take five shots fully knowing I had to go back to the office I would have been absolutely sloshed taking five shots in general even if it was on a weekend night out with friends commenters you're not listening he said he had a high tolerance

[01:21:14] sarcasm guys that sarcasm resting beauty face says you're the arsehole and the way you describe your other co-workers is gross females community of Asian and work bro you need to grow up fake Mona Lisa says in quotes a couple of our colleagues were a little reluctant but after a little convincing and then says you're the arsehole if someone tells you no accept the no and move on and seek help for your alcoholism taking five shots in one and a half hours is not the behavior of someone with a healthy relationship of alcohol

[01:21:45] final comment which says everyone sucks here except your boss you however need to take a look deep at your relationship with alcohol if you think five shots of tequila is no big deal and need to look deep at your career if you think that drinking at lunch wouldn't potentially cause real problems you work in a lab you're part of a process where medical information is gathered and resulted even a slight error in your pocket could have resulted in a real person getting the wrong amount of a medication healthcare is a higher responsibility know that or get out of the field

[01:22:14] the OP came in with her update and says well I'm sure a lot of you will be happy to know that me and my out of work bro got fired this morning HR asked us why exactly we thought we could drink six tequila shots and then go back to the lab all we could think of was that in college we used to work hard and play hard and it didn't affect our grades they didn't like that excuse anyway we were offered a plea bargain HR accepted our resignations and promised a passing but not glowing

[01:22:43] reference for our future employers on the condition we don't mention what happened to anyone ever again I want to thank all those that commented on the original thread I know except that me and my work bro made a grievous error of judgment we're not alcoholics as some people suggested but we're not in college anymore either personally I'll be laying off the hard liquor for a while to focus on rebuilding my career in medical diagnostics and if in the future someone offers me a shot while I'm on the clock I will say no thank you

[01:23:13] imagine being in an office sat down with HR and they ask you why did you think this was a good idea instead of saying you know I just I really just messed up all I can do is apologize for what I did you went with work hard play hard oh man deary deary me but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story and our next story

[01:23:43] comes from a deleted user doesn't have an update as yet but it's titled am I the asshole for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying I 33 female recently married my husband 30 male and we took a 3 hour flight to Mexico for our honeymoon I fly a lot for my job so I've racked up a lot of miles my husband isn't a big fan of flying though he has gotten better and tends to just hold my hand and close his eyes during takeoff and landing

[01:24:12] mostly okay when in the air when I booked our flights I requested to use my points if an upgrade to business class became available but made it clear I only wanted this upgrade if 2 seats became available and then basically forgot about it then comes the day of our flight I was so excited for this trip I checked us in online all is going well and then when we go to board the person scanning our boarding passes stops us she says it seems that my husband was upgraded to business class but only him

[01:24:42] and asks if that is okay I immediately say no we're on our honeymoon and we'd like to stay together but then my husband jumps in and says no it's fine I'll go to the business class I look at him in complete shock and he tells me that I fly all the time and I've been in business class before but he hasn't so he deserves a chance to experience it I see we're holding up the line so I feel like I just need to agree and get on the plane to say I'm pissed off is an understatement

[01:25:11] he is all smiles taking his seat and I go back to my seat where they sit me next to an old woman with a baby on her lap where my husband should be sitting within maybe 5-10 minutes of sitting there trying to hold back tears because my husband left me alone on our flight during our honeymoon and uses my points for his upgrade no less he starts to text me saying he feels anxiety over flying I ignore the text and stop looking at my phone within maybe an hour after we're in the air he comes to the back of the plane to find me

[01:25:41] offers me half of his business class breakfast and asks me why I was ignoring him that he was scared and needed me to tell him it'd be okay since I'm such an experienced flyer I told him maybe he should have thought about that before leaving me alone before our honeymoon even really began he gets angry tells me that this may be the only time he gets to fly business class and he was giving me half his breakfast to make up for it so I could at least be supportive of his genuine fear I roll my eyes

[01:26:11] sarcastically say thanks and he goes back up to his seat when we landed I just tried to move on and forget about it so we could just enjoy our honeymoon but he guilt tripped me about not comforting him via text before takeoff and now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable and should have just let him enjoy his time in business class and ensure him it'd be okay so am I the asshole commenter says to op info did you get stuck in a middle seat in economy if so we ride at dawn

[01:26:41] op says thank god no aisle seats we've flown together three times in the past Florida Vegas and Europe and made a deal to alternate if one of us had a middle seat I think the flight was overbooked and they just gave a random person in a middle seat an upgrade to business so they could fit more people in economy I have status that allows me to use 500 points to upgrade if the seats are available usually I didn't bother putting myself on the upgrade list but the agent I spoke to on the phone said she could ensure we'd be upgraded as a couple or not at all

[01:27:12] Alton Cardinal says not the arse or your husband made a really questionable decision and he was essentially having to live with the consequences of this decision he jumped at the chance to sit alone in business class and I guess it didn't occur to him how evidently reliant he is on you during a flight regardless of his phobia he's a grown man and it seems like he made it through takeoff just fine if he was asking your help when he'd already been served food it's like he was using his need for you as a weapon to make you feel obligated to forgive him for making a pretty shitty choice

[01:27:41] given that it was your honeymoon someone asked OP is everything always about him OP says he grew up poor and has this mindset of always wanting to have more things more money etc I grew up middle class but had awesome parents that made sure I got the opportunities that they didn't I think he has a very fear of missing out mindset and thinks he deserves to experience things as an adult because he had so little growing up we just have very different ways of looking at things I care enjoying what I do for work and don't care about

[01:28:11] salary and promotions he wants to make all the money and get all the promotions no matter what now I totally get anxiety around flying I'm a very very anxious flyer myself like someone that has like death grips on the armrest as it's taking off and landing but after that initial decision where you turned up and he's like no I'll take the business class said he was only bringing the breakfast over

[01:28:41] and then partially using that anxiety against you to get you to forgive him but talking about anxious flying I remember I went on a Christmas do once with the last company that I worked for we went to Frankfurt in Germany and went to the Christmas market so it was absolutely wonderful if you ever get a chance go go go go so much better than any UK Christmas market I've been to so far but on the way back we was it was a bit of a rough ride on the way back and I was I was sat by myself in a row of three and had a couple next to me girlfriend

[01:29:11] or wife was by the window the guy was sat next to me we hadn't really made eye contact just sort of said hi as I sat down and everything was fine and as we was coming into land there was like turbulence or something but the overhead lockers were opening and the plane was shaking and I hadn't realised but when I opened my eyes and we had finally landed I was holding onto the guy's hand as well and his girlfriend was holding on the other side I was like I'm so sorry man I'm really sorry I didn't know what I was doing there he was like nah that's fine and we had a bit of a laugh about it

[01:29:40] but my word that was an experience anyway now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below now our next story comes from other salt 3889 from the true off my chest subreddit and says my wife is addicted to the gym and it's ruining our marriage my wife is 30 years old and she's always worked out and been in shape but lately I feel like

[01:30:10] it's becoming excessive she used to regularly work out at the gym when she was in college at some point she stopped going to the gym I think lately just due to her schedule and preferred to work out at home or go for runs outside about 18 months ago she announced she was going to get back into the habit of going to the gym she now had a job where she's able to make more time for it it started off normal but slowly became more and more frequent she signed up for classes on the weekend both days

[01:30:39] she started going to the gym every day then it became the morning before work and then again later in the evening every single day if she's stressed she goes to the gym experienced some sort of life crisis she immediately heads to the gym we have an argument runs to the gym she's 4 months pregnant right now I'm kind of surprised we even had time to make a kid I understand that it's safe for her to work out especially since she was already in the habit of doing it before

[01:31:09] she got pregnant the intensity is not slowing down if she misses one of her normal gym sessions she becomes so irritable like a junkie not getting her fix it's just bizarre truly a case of too much of a good thing of course she gets upset when I voice that I feel it's becoming an unhealthy obsession and that I miss spending time with her because she's there so much she has all of these friends and this whole circle of people there that she seems to

[01:31:52] really requires me to stay in shape so I can't let myself go if I want to I genuinely feel her gym habits are unhealthy she's over exercising for one there is such a thing but worse than that I feel it's becoming a way for her to escape everything else in her life she never actually fixed anything that goes wrong in

[01:32:22] a point where I have to do every chore and if food is getting made I'm going to have to do it I didn't expect her

[01:32:52] which OP replied to man says my guess would be that she is overwhelmed by life and that she escapes to the gym she's probably always been a control freak and now that life does things she has a

[01:33:22] breakdown because of it multiple times they're actually the ones who told her she had to do something to deal with her stress which was part of the reason she started going

[01:33:52] and have to make it up another day often over working myself and just stress slash can't enjoy things until I

[01:34:22] 5 to 5 15 a.m so in the morning around an hour or so in the evening sometimes up to two hours on weekends a few hours a day people suggested that's like just far too much and op replied saying yeah something happened to her back yesterday and she can barely bend over it didn't happen when she was at the gym she was just standing there getting ready to leash the dog up and she said it felt like a muscle seized up she is in pain but she went to the gym today someone asks op what is she going to do after she has the baby she can't go to the time

[01:34:52] with a newborn have you talked about that op says she she has checked in the gym office child care for babies starting at six weeks she knows at least I'm sure she and we're in for a lot of stress and anxiety as new parents and there was many different theories like a lot of people were saying oh is she cheating which you know there's a possibility we've seen it

[01:35:22] in other stories before around the gym scenario some people suggesting mental health anxiety etc other people suggesting possible eating disorder many people saying you know this is just too much people relating it to themselves saying you thoughts was that she's always sort of like been someone who's went to the gym all the time and sounds pretty proud of what she did so you know when she got pregnant and changes in

[01:36:12] she spends most of her free time there she often goes twice a day and sometimes even three times if we have a fight at night and she needs to run off instead of actually talking to me she won't let me go to her gym and she refuses to go to mine her gym is her place my gym is my place and that's just the way it has to be according to her I'd love to have her come along with me I've invited her multiple times she's about 18 weeks pregnant right now this is our first baby she worked out like crazy

[01:36:42] prior to the pregnancy and she continues to just as hard now I truly didn't think she was cheating on me people suggested it in the last thread and I laughed you can tell she's at the gym a lot she's though I wasn't even considering cheating I'm embarrassed to admit that after reading a lot of the comments on my last post I thought maybe I was being overly confident about her

[01:37:12] fidelity she usually always has her phone on her but she left it in the kitchen counter and as stupid as I felt I decided to do a quick swipe through her text she had a current text conversation going on with went to one of their weddings last fourth I wasn't too terribly concerned until I started reading the text never wanted to know what the guy's dick looked like but I know now

[01:37:42] she was only out of the room for literally about a minute or two so I was furious I all she said it's nothing it's nothing didn't look like nothing to me sure seemed pretty interested in this nothing I wanted to know if she had been

[01:38:11] fucking him for how long she kept saying no I left the house because I was so furious but not before I slammed her phone on the ground and shattered it she was calling me all sorts of names for breaking her phone she hit my sister in was one of the most vocal ones about my wife's gym obsession being weird and bringing it up to me constantly I went home she was in bed crying she obviously

[01:38:41] couldn't call me or bad enough or more I am convinced it was a lot more but she refuses to hand over her phone and is now trying to

[01:39:32] more than just sexting but OP posted their next update and said not sure if posting something in my profile will be seen by anyone but I

[01:40:02] kept texting me things like who just leaves like that when something like this is happening who is that cold and callous that they just leave to go to a party I stayed home today to talk to her she was full of tears she's so sorry according to her she really was going to the gym twice a day because she likes going there that's where her friends are makes her feel

[01:40:32] popular guys there I didn't realize there were popular people at the gyms she admitted that she flirted back but didn't mean anything by it she didn't reciprocate very much at first but he gave her butterflies and she just found herself flirting back without thinking she said it felt like when she had a crush on somebody when she was in school when she was younger they started texting at first it was just friendly and nothing sexual for several months but she felt giddy every time she got a message from him she was really

[01:41:01] attracted to him but told him that she was married and there could never actually be anything between them according to her he kept flirting with her anyway and said sure we won't cross the line until they did cross the line she said she tried to resist it for a while but then one day they kissed she admitted to enjoying it but also feeling that it was wrong she must not have felt that bad because she slept with him for the first time later that night she described it like falling in love with somebody for the

[01:41:31] first time all she could think about was him is she in love with him she doesn't know is the baby mine she thinks so but there's always a small chance it could be his he always uses a condom so she doesn't think it's his baby but they were sleeping together at the time she got pregnant she loves me she can't help that there's just this huge spike between the two of them she doesn't know if she doesn't know if the baby is

[01:42:08] I told her of course I am leaving her and I wouldn't raise another man's child she seemed shocked she said really with everything we have and all of our history you wouldn't even consider it she can't be serious I told her no I would never consider it she agreed to get a DNA test she tearfully agreed like a shamed or sorry

[01:42:37] person they were tears for herself and meant to try and make me feel bad feel bad for what that her heart is so torn OP added some relevant comments below that one and said she ruined my life but I just feel numb right now I barely feel anything at the moment it sure until I get some

[01:43:07] test results she is almost positive the baby is mine I am stuck dealing with her forever then my child will grow up with divorced parents then mum will be the gym bike maybe she will and I am able to

[01:43:37] completely break free how will I not think of this one day when I start a family I was so fucking happy to what

[01:44:07] kind of idiot does she think I am comment her reply saying she still thinks there is hope to save your relationship Jesus Christ baby says yeah I believe she still thinks there's a chance I'll agree to she's dependent on

[01:44:39] she was practically on her knees yesterday saying I won't go back to the gym I won't ever contact him again I feel like that doesn't really mesh with the fact she obviously still has very strong feelings

[01:45:09] for him which are probably coming from more between her legs and her heart but doesn't really matter either way to me I think despite anything to do with him she's dependent on me in a way stability maybe just out of comfort maybe we've been together since she was 20 years old so I'm just this familiar person I guess she has her gym friends out there but other than that she has no family or friends out here she makes pretty good money but I make more and all of our benefits are through me even with a good salary it'd be

[01:45:39] difficult to survive on her own as wasn't there I did ask her if she would get blood drawn for a paternity test I asked her to please not hurt me further by keeping me in limbo about that for months she said

[01:46:08] she doesn't want to information on if OP got themselves a lawyer and if you ever met the affair partner OP says I'm meeting with a lawyer next week and we'll see what they advise how he called her to come get him I didn't think it was a good idea for her to go pick somebody up late at night so I went

[01:46:38] with her I want her out of the house but I don't necessarily want her to fly back home to where she's from just yet if this is my kid and she gets birth out here I'll be in a much better position if she leaves and goes home to her parents she could very well be allowed to stay there and that would be considered the baby's place of residence she's missed a few days of work but she hasn't gone to work since all of this happened she told me she had to go in late today and when she got there everyone was making her food and tea and stuff

[01:47:08] she obviously didn't tell them what really happened opi adds info on how long the affair was happening and said she claims they've been sleeping together since the summer that's just what she claims of course yeah and I'll be taking that claim with a pinch of salt because opi's been trickle truth for the majority of this story so far which is really sad to see but opi adds another update and says my life has been reduced to a trashy daytime talk show the woman who was once my wife who I

[01:48:01] have to speak I keep it very brief we've been living together this whole time but I'm in a different room now and functioning separate from her in all ways so her pouting and trying to get me to pay attention to her and give her a gold star for not going to the gym for five days in

[01:48:31] to hear her say she was going to be with him I told her it wasn't a smart move to leave the house I've even told her she should probably meet

[01:49:01] find anyone else somebody who isn't a married pregnant woman why would you take that on it doesn't make sense to me he's scum but he's good looking scum who apparently is gainfully employed and owns his own home so you can't tell me that my married pregnant wife is

[01:49:31] know how my life turned into this mess and she thinks it's embarrassing to have to get blood drawn opi's next update says my wife moved in with her affair partner last weekend she didn't take very much at

[01:50:01] I've received a ton of messages from people and honestly it's emotionally draining to respond to each one and have to type the same stuff out I just don't feel like talking about her that much so this morning she texted me to say her affair partner wants to get a DNA test done so she's going to do it look at that didn't matter when I wanted one but now he has requested it she

[01:50:31] want an answer I didn't have to see or interact with them at all I just have to make my appointment with a lab to get my cheek swabbed so this Saturday I'm going to

[01:51:01] want to beg her to come home it would be even worse if I find out there's my baby and she's there with him unless he drops her that news I wouldn't let myself beg her I won't play any of

[01:51:31] opie says we definitely need to talk but I got the news in the middle of a work day so I wasn't in the mood to have a full blown conversation with her I think I

[01:52:29] we my kid will be born into and I hate her for it she's still living with him all of her belongings are

[01:53:01] this morning she asked if she could come by and get a few things I told her it was fine and I

[01:53:31] wanted to talk to me to tell me he understand how I must be feeling no you don't know he told me he knows I

[01:54:01] I found it weird and I told him if he didn't get out of my house I would punch him I went upstairs and she was trying to find some things in the bathroom I got mad and asked her why she brought him along and told her I find it really strange that he

[01:54:31] not me she is setting up a nursery in his house and I can set one up at my house and she doesn't want to keep me from being involved in my child's life how generous of her she went back downstairs and I followed her and he was still standing there in the living room and I stumbled back and fell into a table she yelled what the fuck and ran over to him I don't even care at this point and if he's going to call the cops he

[01:55:01] deserved it and it wouldn't have happened had he just left like I told him to several hours later she texted me to say she or not I want everything to be amicable

[01:55:30] this guy stole my wife and he's stealing my kid too sure I'm the actual father but now they're setting up a nursery together in his house I've tried not to feel jealous or sad I've tried to maintain the thought that he's the trash man who picked up opi adds one more update and says my wife

[01:56:00] is basically 26 weeks pregnant now there actually hasn't been much drama with her and her affair partner I was away for a long weekend last week and it was nice to just get away from home there she agreed and never planned to have him in there with her I

[01:56:29] asked her if she told him that and she said no I told her to tell him that he'll have no part in it well she told him and apparently he didn't like that and he started trying to convince her why he should be there next thing I know she's telling me that he really wants to be I a little bit and she told me I can have her house and the dog

[01:56:59] in the paperwork I'm not buying her out of her house I have a much better credit score than her and less debt I compromised a lot because she liked this house I'd rather be able to get my own place based just on what I want with no reminders of her and so she wouldn't really stand the chance of having a court award

[01:57:29] the dog to her it's the one thing I told my lawyer I wanted above everything else not including any custody issues surrounding my actual human child honestly her fair partner can have her but she will never ever have my dog not to mention my dog is 100 times more loyal than I decided I will still prepare a nursery here

[01:57:59] anyway in case anyone wants to try to accuse me of not being invested or prepared for fatherhood I'm trying to look at the positives it doesn't matter what color she likes or what themes I can do whatever I want honestly we've been together for so long and have lived together most of our adult lives it's sort of nice not living with somebody that's sort of lonely too I have friends and family but it's hard to feel in a good mood to go out or hang out with people too often they always ask me about everything that's going on and it's just like I'm tired

[01:58:29] of being the topic of conversation I got a promotion at work which financially would have been better had it happened after the divorce but I'll take what I can get I feel like I'm living in this limbo right now and a lot of what I do is always framed around how will this affect me in the divorce admittedly I spy on them on social media sometimes yes I'm hoping to see he's been in a motorcycle accident or something now that the weather is nicer hasn't happened yet but he's starting a new company and once that's up and running I can always

[01:59:07] I just take big breaks from looking at Reddit since it can be depressing as fuck editing to add something I forgot she told her family that we split up and that she's with this other guy now her sister reached out to me to say how sorry she was her sister is her partner she says the sex is over when he's done and apparently he's really selfish with sex he doesn't do extra things for her that she's used to me doing like clearing the snow of her car in the morning and heating it up or

[01:59:37] offering to make her food after a long day he would have taken that option if she got it and because OP was so like no there's no chance we're getting back together

[02:00:07] that's when she went back to the affair partner and decided to get with him like he's a second choice kind of thing one absolutely wild thing to go through though it's just everything that's going on and the amount of time it takes you know the weeks of pregnancy that we've seen in this one post and every day OP's having to live that think about the consequences of not just that not just the pregnancy and their child coming into this world and what that's going to

[02:00:52] absolute pun by the sounds of it but just thinking about the day to day life as well it sounds really rough but what do you guys make of this situation and the affair partner turning up to his house and just walking in like that it almost felt like he was enjoying that I don't know something about that guy was just like hold on a second here but what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below now our next story comes from a

[02:01:22] throw away account who says I 20 male am not comfortable with my girlfriend's 19 female living situation and I'm not sure how to bring it FaceTime and they all seem nice and enjoy similar things as her they had met each other through social media and had been

[02:01:51] talking for a while and had planned to live together so they're all pretty close her dorm is apartment style includes living room and dining area when she was giving me a tour I saw that there were four bedrooms I know she and her two roommates all have a room but I didn't know why there was a fourth room when I asked her she said the room and another girl

[02:02:21] walked in she seemed surprised to see me and walked right into the fourth bedroom my girlfriend and her roommates started to laugh and after they were done told me that she was their other roommate I was super confused because anytime I've talked with my girlfriend the only people who talk were the other two girls my girlfriend even sent pictures of the bathrooms living room and kitchen after the three of them decorated it for themselves my girlfriend and her roommates then told me that because they went into the dorms

[02:02:51] as a group of three they ended up with a random roommate the entire time they never said her name and just called her random roommate while laughing at one point the girl came out to fill her water bottle and my girlfriend and the other two stopped mid conversation and stared like a hawk at her until she went back into her room after she did they resumed talking and laughing the girl didn't come out for the rest of the night before we went to bed I asked my girlfriend more about her other roommate and why they all act like that

[02:03:21] at first she was confused but then said that the girl is really nice just not like them she said that in the beginning of the year the girl was really talkative towards them and friendly but the other two girls did some stuff and now she just goes to her room all the time she

[02:03:51] the girl

[02:04:21] but something about this just makes me uncomfortable on one hand I'm really happy my girlfriend was lucky enough to have roommates she gets along with and are her friends but on the her

[02:04:51] when she actually comes out of her room says everything I need to hear really I wouldn't be able to be with someone who treated another person that way even if she's doing it for there's a

[02:05:21] difference between being different kinds of people and straight up being mean inconsiderate bullies don't look good in terms of her character superb says how would you trust someone in a long distance relationship if they have poor character seems like she

[02:05:50] like that because of her family and what she's been through that's why I'm confused with all of this she's never given any indication that she could act like this sorry I guess replies to op and says and now she's giving every indication that she is exactly like this nobody is a monster until they are frankly as

[02:06:20] is that the other two girls did something so truly cruel to put that poor girl in her place that she literally went from being friendly and chatty to being withdrawn and not daring to leave her room most of the time and that's not even without the fact that they're unapologetically taking advantage of her and not giving her her fair share of space that she pays equally to live in your girlfriend may be the ring leader but she's not only standing by and allowing her friends to treat this girl like dirt on the bottom of their shoes she's actively participating and freezing her out and making her feel unwelcome

[02:06:50] that whole silence in their talk as soon as she enters the room and laughing about her behind her back that's straight up vicious you aren't one of us bullying your girlfriend isn't just a mean girl she's a vicious bully and she is ruining that other girl's experience of university and leaving her with unhappy memories she will carry throughout the rest of her life just as your girlfriend will remember being happy with her friends and what she's been through or whether or not she would cheat on you is irrelevant

[02:07:18] you literally are watching her behave this way and still denying it she should be ashamed of herself and so should you for not calling her out people say nothing while others are mistreated are just as bad as the ones doing it oh and for the record this isn't about not getting along your girlfriend said it herself the girl was perfectly nice and friendly this is not a mutual situation of not getting along this is your girlfriend and her roommate's bullying and freezing out their fourth roommate period

[02:07:48] opie replies to that saying wow thanks for this insight i'm sorry you went through something similar part of me wonders if my girlfriend knows what they did to her but i don't know i'm leaving tomorrow and i don't know if i should say something to her now or after i leave i don't want to do anything that causes her roommate to be treated worse because of me you know and posts like this always brings those memories of being bullied flooding back to me and just makes my heart break for that girl even more the amount of isolation you feel

[02:08:16] and you know she might not feel this way but the chance that she does it breaks my heart for her that she feels like she can't turn to anyone when she gets home she has to go and hide in her room and then she's probably in there thinking oh if i need to fill up my water bottle what am i gonna do sort of thing and what did those girls do to her as well like that last comment said but op did update the post and said hi everyone i posted a while back and received some replies as well as a bunch of private messages i decided to post a short update

[02:08:45] to let you know what happened shortly after i posted and read through your comments and messages i realized that this relationship was about to end a lot of you brought up great points and i just couldn't justify staying with a person who acts like this that night we all went out to a couple of parties and seeing an act just kind of reinforced my previous thoughts her and her friends were just so rude i don't mean flat out they actually were pretty fun and nice to a bunch of people but the three of them just had no regard for everyone else except for them

[02:09:14] it was like they had no awareness of their surroundings and didn't even care towards the end of the night i was so upset about everything that i asked my girlfriend if we could head back early she said yes and we split up from the other two girls when we got back to her place and got ready for bed i brought up her two roommates and i just lightly spoke about everything on my mind she fully admitted that she knew the two girls were rude and literally called them horrible bitches but there was nothing she could do because they all lived together

[02:09:43] i brought up that she willingly signed the lease to move in with them in an apartment next year and if she didn't like them why did she always entertain them she said she didn't know what to say and just kind of shrugged it off i then asked about her other roommate and found out what the other two girls did apparently when the three of them went out the girl made her dinner and ate in the living room while watching a movie when they came back and saw her one of the two walked into the living room unplugged the tv in the middle of a movie and said

[02:10:12] you did not pay for this this is not yours do not touch while the other girl took the remote and laughed the tv belonged to one of the roommates who brought it from her room at home the apps on it were all split between all the roommates and i think one of the accounts belonged to the girl so my girlfriend and the other girl also didn't pay for the tv i was shocked that is legit mean girl stuff you see in the movies when i asked my girlfriend what she did she said she did nothing and in the moment laughed because she was embarrassed for her

[02:10:42] and that's just what she does when she's uncomfortable which is true my girlfriend passed out after that and i spent a little bit packing my stuff and preparing what i was going to tell her the next morning i straight up told her that i really don't see a future with her i said that she's become a bully and i don't want to be with someone who surrounds herself with people that are horrible people she became defensive and said she's never done anything bad and it's the other two girls i told her that by now she's an adult and had many choices to not partake in their bullying

[02:11:12] but has chosen to and stuck up for them she got very emotional and then became angry and told me to leave i got an uber and headed to the airport and when i got back to my place she texted me and asked if this was a break while i figured out what i wanted or if this was definite i restated what i told her and said that i hope she figures out who she is and i wish her well i think she blocked me after that i haven't heard from her since i did hear from my friend's girlfriend who is friendly with her

[02:11:42] and on her private stories that their room got busted for having alcohol in them which is banned in the dorms and all four of them had to have a meeting with their RA and dorm director proving their innocence hope this gives the fourth girl an opportunity to tell them about her living situation but i don't think i'll ever know anyways thanks for all the advice that i revised i know it wasn't much but i definitely appreciated it and you know discovering

[02:12:11] your girlfriend is not the person you thought she is and finding out about this baby i can't blame you for breaking up but my heart still goes out for this this fourth girl in the situation with the alcohol is she going to get the blame for it there's a couple of comments hoping that it was her who snuck the alcohol in and is going to blame those three girls for it that would be nice but i hope she does get herself out of that situation sooner rather than later because that sounds like a horrific way to live you know

[02:12:40] your university life but now i'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story and before we do get into this next story there is a trigger warning on the story itself that's for sexism body shaming and emotional abuse so if you do want to skip the story please feel free to do so timestamps are always down in the description

[02:13:09] and along the timeline below thank you and it's from another throwaway account that says am i the arsehole here for wanting to divorce my wife because she got a reduction basically the title i 30 male and my wife 29 female have been together for 6 years married for 2 i have a type and based on my past relationships and the women i'm attracted to it's not subtle i like curvy women and my wife happens to fit this type to a tee

[02:13:38] she's thick and i appreciate that i've been with other types of women and simply put thinner women don't do it for me i mention this because i think that attraction is a big part of a relationship i could love a person's personality all day long but if i'm not attracted to them it's not going to work very early in our relationship she told me that she wanted a reduction as she felt like they didn't fit her frame and that they caused her to receive unwanted attention

[02:14:07] i asked her if they caused her pain she said that they didn't i told her that i could understand doing something so drastic if they caused her pain or discomfort or if it needed to be done for medical reasons but for what boils down to just for aesthetics seemed a bit much she didn't really agree or disagree and more or less just dropped the subject as did i fast forward 5 years and we've been married for a year at this point out of nowhere she said that she had an appointment with a doctor to talk about a reduction

[02:14:35] i was kind of surprised because i figured that at the very least she would mention it to me i understand it's not my place to tell her what she can or can't do with her body but i don't know i thought she would have said something even in passing after her appointment i thought that we should at the very least sit down and talk about her undergoing a massive surgery i asked her about her appointment and she seemed cagey about the details eventually she opened up and told me that she was playing this close to her chest

[02:15:04] no pun intended because she knew that i would try and talk her out of it i told her that i'm her husband and that i wouldn't try and talk her out of it but i did want to make it clear that for the lack of a better phrase actions have consequences she said that she understood that but her chest makes her feel too self-conscious and she wants to go through with it i told her that i understood and would stand by her so she gets the procedure done and after all the healing and swelling went down she was left

[02:15:33] with a small b we had been intimate a few times over the few weeks and she felt like everything was good and it's been a struggle the size is really messing with me not only that the scars are brutal i have a thing about scars that just give me the ick even when i had my own surgery my own scars gave me chills in the worst way possible i opted for doggy style and reverse cowgirl so i didn't have to see the scars but my wife knew something was off she would switch positions so we could face each other

[02:16:02] and it's been the end every time i made up some bullshit about lower back pain and doggy style being the most comfortable position for me she got upset and accused me of not finding her attractive i didn't want to keep lying to her but at the same time if i agreed i think that would have crushed her so i just walked away from the conversation i know it's not a great move to pull if i want a healthy relationship but i didn't know what else to do after that i pulled back from initiating because i'm just not into it anymore

[02:16:31] i would accept her advances as her libido is lower than mine but i've pulled away from that as well because her chest is really unappealing to me after a few weeks of me not initiating she confronted me about it i tried to brush it off by saying that i was stressed and tired lying felt kinder than saying that her flat chest makes her look like a child and that the scars make me want to dry heath but she wasn't having it i sat her down and reminded her that her actions would have consequences she blew up at me

[02:17:01] calling me shallow and telling me that this wouldn't matter to a real man she asked if i still loved her i said that i did but that doesn't mean that meant i was obligated to sleep with her and if the roles were reversed she would say that this dynamic is borderline abusive that conversation was like a month ago and since then things have been icy at best i want to cuddle with her and spend time with her but she has rejected my offers to spend time with her at every turn it feels shitty

[02:17:31] because this entire situation was caused by her she made the decision to get this done despite my concerns she knew how much scars deeply affected me and she pushed a specific kind of sex onto me despite me trying to work around this and now that the consequences of her actions are affecting her she is mad at me i'm going to go out of my way to offer physical intimacy outside of sex to show her that i still love her i'm still there for her but she's not having any of it i know that she's her because while i won't admit to it

[02:18:00] she knows that i'm not attracted to her at least with her shirt off anymore and that probably feels crushing but she brought this upon herself at this point i don't know where else to go from here i feel like she won't forgive me and to be honest this whole thing has caused some resentment towards her so i feel that divorce is our only option at this point so am i the asshole here if i get a divorce over this and we have an edit and then a further update or a couple of updates

[02:18:29] on this one as well so the first commenter said would it be different if your wife was disfigured due to an accident and needed plastic surgery or say breast cancer and she needed a mastectomy is your issue the fact that she chose to do this you can have preferences sure but in this specific case you have some shallow reasons honestly i hope she finds a better man hope he replies saying it would be completely different i'd stand by her and suck it up because that's what you do but this was senseless

[02:18:58] it didn't need to happen also it's not like i haven't tried to adjust this so for you to still boil this down as just me being shallow it's just reductive it's dumb kendrick says i think the whole actions have consequence thing is pretty arsehole-ish of you it feels like you're trying to verbally punish her rather than getting her to empathize with you have you tried just having her keep laundry on top while you're having sex like i doubt she's super proud of her bare chest right now and she stated that she did this at least partially

[02:19:28] for her proportionality that they didn't fit her frame why don't you shop together for some lingerie that that she feels will flatter her new frame and will keep you from seeing the scars opi responds saying no i'm not trying to punish her over this i've asked her if she could keep her shirt on during sex and she says that it's humiliating to her that her husband wants her to cover up during sex it feels like i offer a solution and they get shot down the lingerie could be a good idea though i'd be sexy enough for her that it doesn't come off as me trying to get her

[02:19:58] to cover up sugarcane bandit says i do not say this lightly this guy is scum i feel repulsed reading his first am i the asshole to now this poor woman wow what a garbage husband i got a breast reduction sure it was a lot for my husband to get used to but he respected me enough to support me and love me regardless of my breasts i feel like a whole new person after my reduction i'm so much more comfortable in my body too bad op ruined that for his wife

[02:20:28] this is so brutal i hope she finds someone who loves her for her so op first came in with their edit which said those of you that are saying that i only love my wife for her boobs read the fourth paragraph and then read it again until it makes sense to you sound the words out if you have to not only is that take reductive as hell but it's also flat out incorrect is the size an issue for me yes but it's not the end or be all i know that attraction is very much learned but i'd like to do

[02:20:57] that at my pace and constantly putting fresh scars in my face when we are intimate is not how you go about that my issue is twofold one she allowed the glinces of strangers supersede my comfort with the situation she put herself into debt just to appease the thoughts and opinions of other people two she is not letting me adjust at my own pace i love my wife and i love being with my wife but forcing me to look at something that i find deeply disturbing is kind of fucked up i've offered solutions that could work for us perfectly but it

[02:21:27] seems that unless the only words out of my mouth are great decision honey your new boobs are way better than your old ones she doesn't want to hear it because of those two factors this is hard for me to look past especially since this wasn't a necessary thing to do i haven't even gotten into the fact that insurance refused to cover the surgery because it was technically a cosmetic surgery and she put herself into debt to do this which pushes us back from buying the house we want all around this was selfish and pointless literally hustling backwards

[02:21:57] so opie made another post about they started a dead bedroom and they said i male 30 started the dead bedroom with my 29 wife essentially she made a unilateral decision to get a breast reduction for cosmetic reasons i tried to get used to it but my issues are multifaceted one after the swelling went down she's left with a b cup she's flat chested and it feels very gross to me like i'm looking at a child it fucks with me mentally as i'm used to seeing large breasts when we used to have sex seeing her so flat

[02:22:27] just makes it feel inappropriate two her scars are fucking terrible have a strong aversion to scarring and scars in general her scars have been absolutely brutal red and raised all the time i even thought that she had an infection but she tells me that her scars are red for a long time three i'm simply not into flat chested women it's just not for me four i'm angry that she would make such a bold decision with basically no heads up or room for feedback five with how

[02:22:56] they look between the flatness and the scarring not only does it do nothing for me but they actively turn me off when i see them i used to put her in positions like doggy style and reverse caro girl when i could at least focus on other things but it's like she puts them in my face on purpose she even confirmed that theory when she told me that she wanted to face me while we have sex so she can make sure i'm still attracted to her and to be frank i've lost a lot of attraction towards her i told her the truth i said that her chest is turning me off and

[02:23:25] i would like to work around that for the time being until i can grow some more attraction towards them but she freaked out on me i suggested she wear a shirt or if we can have her face away from me and she said that's degrading fair i asked her if she can wear lace bras or lingerie so it's sexy for the both of us but she says it feels like i'm just trying to cover her up to be fair to her i am but it's what i'm comfortable with she either bulks at every suggestion or cries and tells me that it feels that i don't love her i asked her what a

[02:23:55] good solution for this would be and her solution is that i would appreciate how she looks and just get used to it well i have a third option i can just say sex is off the table it's been a few weeks since we last had sex we averaged three to four times a week so obviously she's been pissed she asked me when i get over my bitch fit and i'll just ask her if she's willing to use any of my suggestions she stormed away imagine try man i'm struggling to read this next line because it's so fucking oh

[02:24:24] deary me i like the words coming out my mouth imagine trading your sex life just to get a worse pair of tits it's a shit show i'll probably get divorced fuck my life opiates there what they called their update and says i want to start off by saying those of you who commented on some version of did you only marry her boobs or her go to hell actually get on a course on phonics then go to hell if that's all you got from the post and i can only hope you don't have kids to pass your low iqs down to i've done some

[02:24:53] soul searching and have evaluated my true feelings on the matter after speaking with a few people that i trust and my therapist i'm realizing that my issue wasn't just with a reduction does it suck sure but i'll live i sat down with my therapist and understand that i have all main issues with her decision to get the procedure one my wife allowed outside influences to affect our marriage in an irreversible way two the constant pushing of my boundaries during

[02:25:21] sex three a lack of communication beforehand four a lack of communication after i rejected her advances i gave it a week and i've come to the conclusion that i can't let these feelings go if i can't trust that she won't change her body because a creepy dude gives her a look and how am i supposed to trust her with bigger shit like having kids or buying a house i asked if she felt happier after the procedure and she said that she doesn't i asked if she felt like she was stared at less she says that she feels like

[02:25:51] she gets the same amount of looks i asked if she felt like she got her money's worth i didn't get an answer for that one so the whole thing has been a failure in essence this was a big waste of time money effort and stress my friend put me in contact with her lawyer so done is done i suppose she can keep everything i just want the cat finally for those of you who told me to leave her so she can find someone who actually loves her you got it i'm done with her and after this one there was a bit

[02:26:19] of a a mix of comments asked to be said which i found quite surprising to be quite honest the majority of people saying the way it was worded was like completely shitty and horrible and you know but a lot of people said that they understand that a marriage is a partnership etc etc and it should have been spoke about not only because they should be working together but also for financial reasons at the same time lots of people saying you know she finds a better man but now i'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you

[02:26:49] guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below now our next story comes from red 563 from the relationship subreddit and says me 24 male with my girlfriend 23 female girlfriend has princess syndrome throw away because my mane can be connected to my girlfriend's blog i've been with my girlfriend for about five months we've been casual friends since college but only began

[02:27:18] dating after she graduated get along really well when i say princess syndrome i don't mean that she is spoiled or entitled because she isn't her clothes seem to take over her life she dresses like a sort of fairy tale princess on a nearly daily basis excluding at work long frilly skirts lacy blouses things like that it works for her because she is pretty and can pull it off at first i found it very endearing but then i became

[02:27:47] aware of how much time she spends on her outfits she runs a blog that has a sightable amount of followers and she is constantly posting out outfit pictures links to clothing items and whatnot she spends a few hours a day on her blog at least then she spends time sewing items for new outfits or for her etsy store when we go out we get lots of stares at what she's wearing i've also caught people sneaking pictures of her on their cell phones this attention makes me uncomfortable i have

[02:28:17] asked her to tone it down a bit but she took that to me not wearing anything in her hair when we're out together i've told her several times i love her just the way she is but she seems to brush it off i'd hoped when she started a new job in the career of her choice that she'd become more serious but her new boss and co-workers encourage her i worry that people won't take her seriously or how kind and intelligent she is how can i talk to her about dressing more

[02:28:45] appropriately without hurting her feelings now you'll have to excuse my ignorance on this one i went straight to google when i saw the title and saw princess syndrome i did have a quick browse at like some of the signs of having it which it didn't really seem to match up very well i i might be totally wrong i need to educate myself a bit more later on on that which i'll have a look for sure so you have to excuse what i say with that in mind but it just felt like this is just someone who's living the life that the way they

[02:29:19] you know it doesn't seem to be having any other negative effects apart from that you disliking it it also it sounds like it's connected to a hobby slash job in in the fact that she blogs about it and it's on etsy as well and she's got like a good amount of followers that enjoy what she does at the same time so i'm struggling myself to see the issue here but the first commenter says sounds like you have to get over your insecurities this is a hobby her interest and she's getting positive reactions you shouldn't be

[02:29:49] trying to change her especially when it was something that initially drew you to her opie says i guess i'm having trouble seeing clothing as a hobby i play video games as a hobby but that doesn't cause strangers to take pictures of me when i'm trying to shop for the supermarket i get your point that initially drew me to her because it did that's fair i guess i didn't think that it would be such a constant thing in her life especially after she graduated another commenter says so you love her just the way she

[02:30:18] is but you're assuming she'd take that to mean she should change how she is that doesn't make sense this is how she is she enjoys dressing up like this shit she posts outfit photos online because she enjoys it so much other people encourage her because they do like how she is if you don't like the attention ask her sometime to just go out with you or she's wearing a casual outfit but keep in mind that she really loves what she's normally wearing opie says

[02:30:46] this is my problem how do i ask her to dress more casually around me without her misinterpreting what i mean again and also not hurting her feelings i can think of ways to say one half of that but it doesn't work with the other half and a commenter says if you love her the way she is why do you want her to change just curious opie says she doesn't need all the frilly stuff she'd still look like a princess and it's one thing for an artsy college student to dress alternatively but she's a 23 year old woman

[02:31:16] now i feel like her clothing masks how smart she is and makes her appear shallow then someone says to opie is it for attention opie says i do think it's an attention thing she says she doesn't care about what people think about her but she spends so much time on her blog replying to comments and such i kind of doubted she also has told me that she loves being approached by little girls while she's dressed up which definitely makes me think it's about attention she

[02:31:45] doesn't dress inappropriately by those standards she is well groomed and doesn't show much skin is it appropriate to wear lacy dresses and flower crowns to the supermarket again it attracts unnecessary attention so opie comes in with her first update and says i didn't plan on updating but things changed i realized from my last post that i needed to be more supportive but also communicate on how she could dress down on certain occasions so we could both be comfortable well i never got a chance to

[02:32:13] talk to her about it last week she called and wanted to stop by my apartment after work when she got there i offered to make dinner as she said she couldn't stay and we had a talk i jokingly asked if she was breaking up with me and she looked really guilty you can see where this is going we talked about how we're in different places in life and had different goals for the future well she talked but i agreed it was a pretty amicable breakup even though i felt

[02:32:41] blindsided we agreed to stay friends i've never been dumped before and it's fucking awful i'm having trouble with the whole social media thing post breakup i want a way to keep in touch with her but as soon as her relationship status changed all these alternative looking guys have been liking her posts and comments on her pictures i don't think she's seen these guys but it still hurts my friend wants to set me up on the date but i don't know if it's a good idea

[02:33:09] couple of the top comments said tickle is the head that wears the flowered lace crown it was never going to work out anyway you had some laughs and some good times enjoy that and move on opi says i understood some of her reasoning mainly i want to move out of the city once my lease is up and i wanted her to move in with me i was worried about long distance she didn't want to leave the city though she said something about me being controlling too but i don't think that's the

[02:33:36] case at all someone suggested blocking her opi said we agreed to stay friends so i don't want to block her opi comes in with their second update and this update came nine years later and said i was going through an old email and found this account again i was surprised i could still log in and even more by the amount of people who had reached out to me it's a bit embarrassing to relive this breakup from almost

[02:34:03] 10 years ago in retrospect it wasn't meant to be and i think i was reading more from getting dumped in the loss of the relationship i'm 33 now and married to a wonderful woman 31 female for four years i learned my lesson about supporting my significant other's hobbies my wife loves running and baking we have a daughter who is turning three this year i want her to be free to express herself

[02:34:28] how she likes as long as it is safe of course i would do anything for them i'm still friends with my ex on social media we don't talk but we all like each other's posts she's married to another woman now who also dresses differently it's not as frilly as she used to dress but still unusual her pictures look like something out of anna of green gables she seems very happy on their farm together and the top comment on that

[02:34:55] one says can we expect an update in 10 years when your daughter has become a teenager and developed princess syndrome also congratulations on your life upie says well she does love pink and purple a lot of people mentioning that it sounds like cottagecore again today's a learning day i'm learning all sorts of new stuff here i bloody love a learning day let me tell you but it says this is from google by the way from

[02:35:21] my website called the spruce there's cottage core is an aesthetic and design style that encourages adopting a simpler and more bucolic lifestyle its design characteristics include vintage and handcrafted items such as clothing candles furniture and needlework and i'll post a couple of pictures like right now of a couple examples i just found on google hopefully they are correct examples i ain't

[02:35:46] got a clue but like when if we first come in and was talking about princess syndrome i was expecting like you know one of these massive like dresses you see them walking around at disney and stuff not this this just seems like a fairly standard dress i think now our next story apparently is a pretty famous one but i haven't seen this one before but let's get involved it's called avengers assemble an innocent woman stuffed so she can leave

[02:36:11] her ex it starts off i'm about to have a fun afternoon so my trainer's boyfriend cheated on her she broke up with him he's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him which she refuses she trains for free mind you three college linebackers a college wrestler two martial artists a bodybuilder and wait for it a navy seal we're gonna go and get a shit for her it should make for an interesting story

[02:36:40] the next update so everyone who commented on this being like the avengers you are absolutely right that's what all of us had in our heads when we were rolling over to the dude's house but i'm very proud to say this ended without violence a rival so the super friends all jumped into one of the linebackers explorer and headed over to the dude's house okay the squad you all know me but the other martial artist is a little wiry kido guy the linebackers are all giants and estimated

[02:37:10] combined weight of say 750 to 800 pounds the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla and the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling really unsettling unfortunately the bodybuilder had to work anyway we sent the hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers screams at them and slams the door in their face then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the

[02:37:38] doorbell again lo and behold he was much more polite but still denied access finally me and the seal join the fray i casually make my way towards the front of the group but the seal decides to climb the banister we all just turn and stare at him completely shocked when the dude answered the door he looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like

[02:38:03] batman he was like fine go go take what you're looking for the retrieval so we're all walking through the house gathering what we think of her things and putting them into two boxes mind you we are completely guessing we didn't even tell her we were coming therefore we had no list of items the only one really being productive was hapkido who was legitimately looking for stuff the linebackers were

[02:38:30] just randomly picking up furniture turning it over and putting it back down just showing off how strong they were in case the numbers game wasn't enough i guess they were letting them know that they could break him if they wanted to the seal was just shadowing dude in his own house walking behind him not saying much just being creepy then there's me who was causing general mischief he said to take what

[02:38:54] i was looking for that's what i was looking for and the wrestler made a freaking sandwich because you guys look like you have it under control and i'm a sucker for an egg salad we were in and out in 15 minutes delivery so the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl spot she was conveniently outside when we rolled up we got out and she was like how do you all even know each other the truth is we

[02:39:21] don't she sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us or she vented to us all about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that we told her that we went to see her ex oh my god what did you say to him nothing we're not messenger boys we're delivery boys and we gave her her boxes of stuff she went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff then she got to my box

[02:39:47] and asked what the fuck is all this shit so i explained that i took all the batteries out of his remote controls his deodorant the light bulb out of his master closet every pair of dress socks that i could find the laces out of his running shoes and all the toilet paper in the house the guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed she then unexpectedly started crying and thankless so you have this group of meatheads all standing awkwardly with this weeper trainer it was quiet

[02:40:16] for a second when the seal was like so if i'm gonna say correctly this time chipotle chipotle chipotle and we all got burrito balls what a great day top comments on this one says he took all the batteries dress socks toilet paper the laces from his shoes and his deodorant lol who does that seriously i need to find me some friends like that that way once i start dating if he ever decides to break my heart

[02:40:44] which he better not i'll know i'll be taken care of in the most hysterical way possible well funny for me at least lol please tell me this story is true but now i'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story with an update which comes from a throwaway account and says i26 female realized i have a crush

[02:41:13] on my roommate 24 female who'd been living together for more than two years now my ex-boyfriend 26 male and i had been high school sweethearts but we were long distance relationship after i moved for work he confessed that he had started a relationship with another girl and he dumped me in the middle of the pandemic i was a mess my panic attacks started to happen way more frequently i was barely

[02:41:38] functioning i just worked cried and slept for two whole weeks she is amazing she took care of everything around the house she made me cake keep her right there she helped me through my panic attacks even though it absolutely destroyed her sleep patterns i'm doing better now but i can't bring myself to look at her i've thanked her a lot but that is not enough i'm doing much better more

[02:42:04] pills now but i feel incredibly embarrassed how can i spend time with someone like her she's so self-assured kind assertive and brilliant she is a gorgeous amazing woman i feel so self-conscious just sitting next to her there is a pit in my stomach whenever we talk now i don't want to bother her anymore how can she look at me and not feel a bit of contempt i don't know if she likes me anymore i know that she is hurt by this but we used to spend a lot of time together

[02:42:32] now i make excuses i feel horrible how do i deal with and communicate with her that i'm grateful for her help and trying to deal with my feelings of what happened putting pressure on her to help me the gamer viking says seems like you need to return the favor give her a gift or take her somewhere do something nice for her upie says i've done this i bought a pair of shoes she really wanted it made

[02:42:56] her happy that was one of the better days i had this year it is i just feel really awkward hanging out with her so we're gonna go straight to the update which says my roommate has been an angel while i was a barely functioning adult due to my breakup with my boyfriend she took care of me and helped me deal with my panic attacks i felt really embarrassed to just hang out with her i was incredibly nervous but i posted about this and people gave me some great suggestions one of the suggestions was to

[02:43:26] take her out to the park for a walk she loves the park both of us were done with work earlier yesterday we went to the park together we just talked and hung out i felt a lot of embarrassment about exposing my worst vulnerable moments to her i really love our company and i've missed this just hanging out with her she bought me flowers as a joke and my heart skipped out of my chest that was a really weird

[02:43:51] reaction then while we were eating tacos and she was joking about her job i realized this kind of felt like a date and this was the best date ever and almost an overwhelming urge to kiss her we got back to our apartment and i just shut myself into my room and try to understand all these feelings i've never felt this way about a girl i'm scared i don't know what to do here should i just ignore these feelings we

[02:44:18] still have a long lease left and i don't want her to be creeped out by me some part is telling me to shut up it would just weird her out or become the funny story she tells people her roommate who she helped out of kindness or pity then creeped her out and wanted to be in a relationship i didn't know i'm scared about ruining our friendship too three months later op comes in with another update and says my post didn't get a lot of attention but some people did provide me with really good feedback and

[02:44:48] this is a happy update i decided to keep my feelings to myself and understand if it was just my gratitude and learn about myself in that time i read a few books and i did some introspection i've always liked girls in hindsight it is pretty obvious why i hated seeing my best friend with her boyfriend i brushed those feelings aside as jealousy for how good their relationship was teenage me was pretty dumb i also have realized that my roommate was probably asexual i have known her for a long time

[02:45:18] and she has not dated one single person never brought a person home it made me feel hopeless about my feelings for her i came out to her about a month ago i'd left one of my books lying around and she handed it back to me i made a bad joke i ended up explaining that i think i'm bi it was pretty awkward she told me she was into girls but she thinks she is demisexual and it takes her a lot to form the emotional bond needed to be ready to have sex i probably made a mess of the conversation i thought

[02:45:47] there was no way she would form such a bond with me she ended up asking me out while we were cooking dinner last week i was pretty surprised honestly it is scary and a bit awkward moving from being roommates to girlfriends scary as hell but even with the uncertainty about if we could work i feel incredibly comfortable around her i can be myself and i know she won't judge me she loves it and there were multiple comments below that one saying oh my god they were roommates i'm not sure what that

[02:46:17] means i'm gonna need to educate myself i imagine it's some kind of meme or or friends episode or something like that but what a lovely little story to finish with but what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below now our next story comes from accomplished cod 1527 and says crazy co-worker expects me to pay for her food and this was from

[02:46:41] the co-worker stories subreddit my co-worker basically had to leave the restaurant and go get her wallet go back to the restaurant and pay because i lied and told her i didn't have my wallet some context this co-worker makes less than i do but not a lot less every time we go to breakfast or lunch she left her wallet somewhere new i have paid before and then i'll have to send her a venmo request which

[02:47:08] she sends back days or weeks later sometimes i've forgotten and she's always gotten away with it i started to notice this and today she asked me if i wanted to go get breakfast with her i told her i'd go with her but had already had breakfast of course when we sit down she says oh my god i forgot my wallet i said oh my god me too lol i tell her to go get it from the car and she says she'll try apple pay

[02:47:35] she eats and when time to pay comes she asked if they use apple pay and they don't i'm a very over-prepared person and was embarrassed that she waited till she ate to ask that and we could have quickly walked to her car and gotten the wallet anyway she asked me again if i'm sure i don't have my wallet which i thought was weird and i said yes the place let her come back a little later to pay since

[02:48:01] we showed them where we worked on the block the whole way back to work she went on about how embarrassing that was and said to me you never have your wallet when i need it which i was so confused the sheer audacity i said excuse me i always have my wire or a form of payment which is why we have been here before and i've paid for you that's crazy to say that to me when you never have your wallet

[02:48:25] and when i didn't eat and she just looked like a deer in headlights i was appalled i genuinely think this woman may be cray after this how can she after eating on her own and not being able to foot her own bill then turn around and tell me i never have my wallet edit i didn't expect this to go semi-viral thanks for all the comments and advice just want to add a couple of points that i think are important

[02:48:50] one we're the only two women at the office our boss is rarely here and all other employees are remote we basically just make sure the satellite office doesn't fall apart and get whatever our boss needs collect the mail etc so we have a lot of downtime we don't even have to answer phones so we go to breakfast at a cafe nearby often since it takes us 20 to 30 minutes to eat and our boss encourages it after these comments i'll definitely be either eating alone or not going with her

[02:49:20] two she may be this way with everyone because on her birthday she posted a venmo on facebook and asked people to send gifts through there oh oh no way oh people when they do that man it just makes me cringe inside like post on facebook for that sort of stuff i've only ever seen something once kind of similar like that we got in a pub in the uk called weatherspoons that serves food as well fairly cheap stuff you know but basically on there you can order through the app you can order all your

[02:49:50] food and stuff and table number and i remember someone putting on facebook once saying oh i'm at this restaurant and it's my birthday and i can only afford one drink so if any of my friends or family would like to show their love and treat me i'm at this table so like they could order for her and then pay through the app apparently she had like a bit of a history of doing this kind of thing as well i just couldn't bring myself to do that man holy moly and like op said in this the fact that you know

[02:50:20] she knew she didn't have her wallet but still was gonna eat first and then i might try this other form of payment to see if it works and ask if they do apple pay surely you'd confirm that before this person just sounds shady as hell don't they but good bunch says hmm either you are way too nice or this is some kind of codependent relationship you supported this behavior well beyond reason

[02:50:43] how come op says definitely both i'm way too nice and there aren't a lot of people at this job so we just use each other for some small talk here and there so we don't go insane in the silence all day definitely not going to eat with her again and after these comments i may just mention to her that i think she's mooching next time she asks me to go eat with her anywhere she's also one of those people who is always going through something so it took me a while to notice she's blatantly

[02:51:10] mooching off me she knows i'm just lucky to have inherited my apartment from an uncle with no kids and i don't pay rent which makes me feel like she may have excused it to herself as she has more than enough money but hey i'm trying to save two and was born piss poor my only asset is where i live it's a one bedroom in a bad area also realizing as i type this that there was no reason i should have ever shared that with her left click says i agree with this there was a girl i went to junior high

[02:51:38] with who ended up going to the same college as me it was nice to see a familiar face so i didn't think anything of it when we started meeting up in the lunchroom one day she asked me if i knew how much an energy drink was and i told her she asked if i had an extra dollar so i gave it to her little did i know that dollar was like the gateway to the numerous times thereafter that she would ask me for money she promised to pay the dollar back but that never happened the most i gave her was three dollars and

[02:52:06] her promises to pay back remained unfulfilled i was more annoyed that seeing each other was about her asking me for money not a move towards genuine friendship i started avoiding the area and either accepting invitations to eat off campus or eat somewhere else away from the vicinity of the lunch room i did this for a while until one day i ran into her on the way to the student office she stopped me and told me she hadn't seen me in a bit but she was short on money to use the vending

[02:52:32] machine i don't know whether i was in a good mood or what came over me but i froze and said sorry i only brought enough money for myself ask someone else she had the nerve to press me i told her i was sorry but i already told her i couldn't help her the last image of her that i continued on my way was her just standing there with her mouth half opened in disbelief i'm not sure if she dropped out or switched schools because i never ran into her again op says she has done this too i keep my energy

[02:53:01] drinks in the office fridge and she'll ask for one and says she'll pay me and she doesn't thankfully it happened once and the second time i said no left click replies that and says good gracious i love a good gracious you've got a full-blown mooch that you're associated with i've sent suggestions in other threads about locked cooler lunch boxes you can't trust this person around any of your stuff

[02:53:27] op did come in with her update that's off pretty intense says she got fired over the weekend because she sent an email to the wrong client enclosing a bunch of confidential agreements this is not the first time she's gotten reprimanded before so i was not surprised since she and i both knew she was on thin ice with my boss the most shocking part to me was that she immediately blocked me on all social media and texts as soon as she left even though i stayed cordial with her since the last

[02:53:54] time we went to eat and wrote the post so i definitely feel like even more of an idiot than i felt after the wallet comment can't believe i trusted someone for four years who's waiting for any second to remove me from her life let this be a reminder that co-workers are not friends and the top comment on that one from shoot says maybe she knew you were talking shit on reddit opi says can't say that didn't cross my mind

[02:54:20] lol and i kind of find that sad that someone's tainted that for op that co-workers can't be friends and i imagine a few people will agree with opi on that one but some of my best friends to this day were ex-co-workers actually thinking about it the majority of them are and i just kind of find it a bit sad that like i said it's been tainted for op maybe not maybe op is just gonna be a bit more

[02:54:46] cautious which isn't a bad thing at the same time but what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below have you ever had yourself a crazy co-worker story don't forget r slash mark narrations share you a little bit of drama right there i'm all for it give me that tea and let's move on to another story and our next story does have a couple of updates

[02:55:10] as well it's from feelingworse zelda who says i 25 male have a hard time finding girls to date because i want them to like the legend of zelda and i'm sure the majority of people know the legend of zelda but just in case it's an action adventure video game you can see the majority of you now look at me like we all know what that is but just in case just in case calm down all right

[02:55:35] hi everyone this might seem like deja vu to you but that's because i made a thread about a month ago here that was very similar to this but i forgot what the throwaway account i used was but basically i'm creating this thread because things have gone for the worse and i really badly need advice so basically i seem to only be attracted to girls who are obsessed with the legend of zelda like me a few weeks ago i met this girl in my class who is very sweet and quite honestly i feel i might have a

[02:56:03] shot with her if i put in some effort and at first i felt like going for it however my brain came to its senses and figured she doesn't like zelda then she's no good and honestly i'm really sad by this i know i make a big deal out of mentioning zelda but i think that in general there is a bigger underlying problem i'm part of a minority since my parents are immigrants in this country and for a few years i've gone for girls who were culturally similar to me as in girls who grew up with the

[02:56:31] same culture and traditions as me this was a big deal to me and i refuse to date outside of my culture this was by the way completely my desire my parents never pressured me into this i feel it was part of my identity crisis that many immigrant kids go through growing up well i dated a few girls who were culturally compatible with me however things turned bad and in general i stopped caring for my parents

[02:56:56] culture so i decided that i no longer wanted to date girls from my parents culture however without noticing it i must have replaced the cultural requirement with the gaming requirement now the girl had to share the same passion for zelda as me since that gaming series meant a lot to me growing up basically what i think this is is me being attracted to girls i have things in common with and not just any things there has to be things that mean a lot to me but if these requirements

[02:57:22] have meant that my dating pool is extremely small and honestly i wish i could stop thinking like this but i can't for instance the girl i met in my class since we didn't have zelda in common the fear of meeting a girl who does like zelda will result in me getting really jealous and feel like i settled and i could have gotten my dream girl somebody with the same passion in common i honestly don't know how to deal with this it's not just something i can switch off all i can think about is just meeting

[02:57:51] a girl who shares the same love for zelda as me and i feel like that's the only way to get over this now obviously i don't want to diagnose or anything like that but it does sound pretty unhealthy the way that you described it in this particular post the fact that it's affecting your life in a negative way just says to me that you know maybe there is time to seek some help about this not reddit help professional help and the fact that you know you're saying yourself that you wish you

[02:58:17] could stop thinking like this it just screams that that to look for some sort of professional help with it but dolomite says have you talked to a counselor about this you mentioned going to class and many universities have free on-campus counseling maybe something for you to look into on a more direct note you will learn more from someone you differ from than you would from someone with the same life experience as you you should embrace differences not shun them it can only serve to

[02:58:46] broaden your outlook opie says i guess that's true but i've come to believe that it's different strokes for different folks some people might see the appeal in others who are different from them but i can't in fact i'd rather stay single than be in a relationship with somebody who is different from me it's just what appeals to me i guess cornberg says this is beyond reddit's pay grade if you want to stop obsessing over this and it's harming your ability to live a full life it's time to see a

[02:59:14] professional counselor or therapist on the scale of the weird shit they've seen i promise that you're nowhere close to someone who would freak them out but not crazy you don't need to be committed to a hospital and you probably don't even need medication what you're going through is much more common than you think from what you've said you're likely experiencing anxiety about dating or getting close to someone and are using your extremely specific partner requirements to avoid the risk

[02:59:40] i use world of warcraft to avoid confronting my depression and anxiety over dating after my boyfriend broke up with me in a very cruel way it's not an uncommon response to complicated and scary situations talking to a professional help will help you figure out strategies that will help you cope with those emotions will allow you to move past this problem there's nothing wrong with preferring to date someone with common interests but you're taking this preference too far and it's creating a wall

[03:00:08] between you and relationships with other people and i gotta say that's one of the things i absolutely love about reddit there's someone going through a similar situation or pretty much a same situation is op in this in the comments i find that incredible but op says well about using my requirements as an excuse i did date a girl in the past who were into zelda as well and we were together for a year and

[03:00:32] i was very happy in that relationship we broke up because she ended up cheating on me if i had to guess i'd say i'm more than ready to be in a relationship however the thought of dating someone with nothing in common just seems unappealing to me op comes in with her first update and says a lot has changed since i made that update actually i can't believe it has only been a week since i posted that it feels like much longer i started using tinder i figured i'd just see what it's like

[03:01:01] earlier today i matched with this girl that i thought was cute i know the chances of her liking zelda is too slim to zero but i'm trying so hard to push myself to send her a message i read all your comments in my last post and i thought long and hard about them i honestly didn't know what to say to most of them i've considered all the advice i've received heavily i'm just honestly feeling like having a panic attack maybe that's an exaggeration but i'm scared of jumping into something that i will regret what if i send her a message and we hit it off and

[03:01:30] she doesn't like zelda we have nothing in common a thought freaks me out and i just don't know on top of that i keep thinking to myself that maybe if i wait it out one girl who likes zelda as well will come along but if i settle for somebody else now then i will never end up with a girlfriend who also likes zelda it's so stupid all the things i just wrote are so stupid i know it makes no sense at all but i'm just literally freaking out and feel like i'm having

[03:01:58] a mental breakdown i want to send this girl on tinder a message or just meet any girl who doesn't necessarily like zelda but this is all freaking me out so much update two this will probably be my final update because at this point i don't feel like there's anything left to do or say i can't imagine anyone giving any sort of advice to help me on my situation so if anything this is just more like closure for me so to pick up where i left off earlier this week i sent a message to the girl on

[03:02:26] tinder i tried to make a short and clever joke but it backfired since she never replied back so that was that i know that 95 of all posts have told me to go to therapy i finally made the call unfortunately they told me there was a waiting list and that the earliest appointment i could get was in february please note i don't live in america so we don't really have fast therapists here or maybe i just haven't called the right people yet perhaps there are some therapists i'm supposed to call but

[03:02:53] the organization that i was told to call told me that all therapists were completely booked so that was that i've come to the conclusion that there isn't much to do about this i've joined a bunch of facebook groups dedicated to zelda and i'm trying to make friends there both genders if i ended up liking a girl there then that's great and i'd even be willing to do an online relationship and eventually move her to a place if it gets so far my career is very flexible so i can find jobs

[03:03:21] many places in the world i don't know what else there is to say i'm sorry for letting everyone down so op comes in with what is the final update and says guys i think i'm cured it was a strange event but what the heck it made me realize something i was studying late at night in my room a few days ago i have this shelf in my room with a bunch of zelda collectibles and a really expensive zelda figurine

[03:03:44] underneath it 400 plus dollars but guess what as my luck would have it ikea shelf gave in all my collectibles fell to the ground and the shelf knocked down my figure and destroyed it obviously a distressing moment for me but it was also at that time i realized i need to perhaps chill with this hobby and that the hobby can still be mine without having to necessarily share it with a significant other of course i would prefer it if she liked zelda too and it would definitely be a huge plus in my

[03:04:11] book but if i fall in love with a girl who isn't into zelda i guess that's just how it's going to be i'm honestly not going to worry too much about this to be honest have enough on my plate with studies as it is plus gotta take some extra shifts at work so i can replace my broken statue and collectibles unfortunately some of them can't be bought anymore but oh well such is life thanks everyone for reaching out to me and helping me this has been an eye-opener for me i'm more than willing to date

[03:04:39] a girl who doesn't care about zelda because honestly if she's just there for me and makes me happy i feel that is all i can ask for however if she happens to like zelda too then that's great not a requirement just a plus and there was a comment which op replied to about asking if this whole thing is real and op says so if i take pictures of the damage done to my collection and screwed up wall all with time stamps is that going to prove anything i find it funny how there's news

[03:05:09] about a saudi prince who's been arrested in socal for forcing women to watch him have a guy fart in his face yet me wanting a girlfriend who's into zelda as well is apparently a lot more strange so it has to be fake and a troll oh what i really do hope the best for this dude but in the end it didn't convince me that he's moved past whatever he's going through it still felt like it was in there in the background you know he's still gonna buy zelda figurines he's still gonna be a part of these

[03:05:36] groups and and it almost felt like to me anyway like he was trying to convince himself but whatever i still hope that at some point in the future he does he does get this professional help or find someone that that isn't so busy so we can get some sort of professional help but what do you guys make of this situation bit of a different one there let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[03:06:02] now our next story comes from throwaway oat milk who says my 23 female boyfriend 25 male thinks my dad's 59 male gifts are creepy red flag every year for valentine's day my dad 59 male gives or sends me 23 female flowers in a box of chocolate he has done this every year since i've been old enough to remember he'd always give them to me when i was little i went to college and beyond he has them

[03:06:31] delivered to me it's just a tradition for us i think it's sweet i grew up in a really tight-knit close family i started dating my boyfriend mark 25 male a little over a year ago last valentine's day i got the usual delivery from my dad mark saw and said oh your dad sent those oh okay and that was it

[03:06:57] fast forward to this year last night mark and i were discussing our valentine's day plans for this year like what restaurant we should go to and he made a passing comment about hoping i don't get any creepy gifts in the mail this year i was confused and asked him what he meant and he said you know how you got that stuff from your dad last year it's creepy for a dad to be sending his adult daughter valentine's day gifts i was taken aback because it's not like my dad sent me lingerie or something

[03:07:25] it was just flowers and some chocolate i tried explaining to mark that this is a tradition i have always shared with my dad he stands firm that it's creepy and weird and he said he asked his friends and they thought it was weird too i tried to let it go but it's been bothering me one i have never heard these kinds of negative comments from mark before and i'm not sure whether it's a red flag

[03:07:49] i have never been in a serious relationship before and i'm still figuring it all out two when my dad's delivery comes this month i don't want mark to feel uncomfortable three is it actually creepy for my dad to be sending this stuff i've never found it so i would like to hear other perspectives thanks personally if i was in that situation i'd be asking him why he considers that creepy what is his logic

[03:08:16] behind this what is he exactly thinking the dad is thinking about the situation and then just watch him squirm i don't think this kind of thing is creepy at all i think like opie said it's pretty sweet in my younger years i used to get my mom a bunch of flowers for valentine's day and my dad i used to get this this pack of uh like two cream cakes and we would share them together it's just because i loved them there was nothing weird about it at all it's just sharing my love on that particular day

[03:08:43] which i know is a commercialized day and all that sort of stuff but i enjoyed doing that on that particular day for my parents when when i could and to be quite frank it would really piss me off if someone tainted that for me but intelligent ad says cherish these times with dad because he will be gone someday opie says oh for sure i'm not going to tell my dad to stop the valentine's day gifts i know he loves the tradition and i don't want him to feel any type of negative way about it

[03:09:09] i'm so sorry to everyone who's lost their fathers or father figures i know i'm extremely lucky to have such a great dad so many people don't i cherish all my family zoe says maybe he feels forced to do more than he wants to compete with your dad or whatever don't change your tradition with your dad it's sweet and a great proof of your good bond it's not creepy at all like mike says it's not creepy it's sweet mark is a fucking arsehole i always find it funny saying my name and then

[03:09:38] calling myself an arsehole we're a bunch of arseholes us guys i'm a dad i'm a dad of two girls and this makes me sad that a father showing love for his daughter is thought of as creepy every year i get my girls a piece of jewelry flowers and to make them dinner you have a limited amount of valentine's day with your dad on this earth one day he won't be around to send your cherished valentine's gifts all you'll have is mark and his stupid fucking thoughts and if you and mark

[03:10:06] stay together they probably rethink how creepy it was that your dad loved you and then want to do the same for his daughters meanwhile you'd have missed precious years of gifts from your own daughter mark's a dick mark needs to grow the fuck up opie did come in with an update and said hi all it's been a long two months and i'm sorry for not updating sooner but i just needed a break i really appreciate all the insight i got into my original post we broke up i tried having a

[03:10:33] legitimate conversation with mark ex-boyfriend about why he found the gifts creepy he's close with his family they show a regular amount of affection for a close american family so it wasn't that he could not articulate to me why he found it creepy he just kept saying that it made him uneasy no further explanation there is only so much i can do regarding that so i gave up on trying to find the root issue he originally said he talked to his friend about it and they all found it weird

[03:11:02] yeah he never did that he admitted he made it up he also confessed he cheated on me with two different girls which took me by complete surprise i got tested all is fine in that regard so yeah i ended it he begged me to stay and said i was the one i refused i said something along the lines of you cheated on me you lied to me and we have different cool family values when he realized i wasn't coming back he

[03:11:30] told everyone i cheated on him my friends were furious on my behalf and wanted to give him a piece of their mind but i told them i just don't want to deal with him ever again i'm so done i just don't care anymore he's blocked so basically i still have no idea what his problem with the gifts was but good riddance and for everyone who said i had a good dad trust me i know and i'm so lucky i'm going to visit him

[03:11:56] next month and can't wait thank you all and just two of the top comments from that post so cultural shape quotes op saying he also confessed he cheated on me with two different girls which took me by complete surprise and then says the guy who sees sexual intent in total innocuous gestures just because the people involved happen to be different sexes turned out to be cheating himself i'm sorry you got blindsided with that but i can't say i'm surprised no pops there's only a guess but

[03:12:24] his reaction suggests that he was uncomfortable knowing that he wouldn't be able to isolate you from your father and that your father would be protective of you if he the ex was abusive i was kind of interested to know how this conversation played out in the update because of like the confession of him cheating with two different girls like did they break up and then suddenly he just word vomited that oh yeah and i've slept with two other people which i just found really strange at

[03:12:50] the same time it just felt like he was intentionally trying to hurt her but then turns around and says and begged her to stay and said she's the one at the same time it's just like what a confusing situation it might happen in a completely different order but that's why i would have liked to know what happened there but what do you guys make of this situation i kind of wasn't surprised by how it ended up in the end but what do you guys make of this one let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and

[03:13:19] let's move on to another story and our next story comes from throwaway cat from the true off my chest subreddit it's flagged with a new update so you may have heard the story in other places so if you want to skip parts of the story time stamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below thank you and before we do get into this story it is how it does have a warning on it of homophobia as well an institutionalization so as always if you want to skip the story please feel free to do so

[03:13:46] and it's titled found out my sister has been lying about our family to her friends for years not great at explaining things so bear with me i guess about three years ago my 15 female older sister 17 female leia fake name personally basically did a 180 overnight she went from being the sweet reliable big sis to kind of snappy and closed off stop doing chores would get an attitude if anyone reminded her spent

[03:14:15] all day in her room you get the point i was 12 at the time so i was like why is she acting like that and my brother 21 male was moved out and busy with school and whatnot in the beginning my parents chalked it up to teenage girl hormones which was also technically part of the issue but also one night she just came out of her room crying and told us she is bisexual my parents were extremely supportive

[03:14:40] of this so was my brother because he's gay i wasn't educated on this kind of stuff at the time so i didn't get it until my parents explained it to me and why it was such a big deal to her and i was like cool good for you sis so anyway her behavior got better after that and she was being nice to us again she didn't hang out with me as much which is like what teenage girl wants to be around their little sister lol so fast forward three years later me and my sister are really close again or at least i thought we

[03:15:09] were one thing i've noticed the same with my parents is that her friends started acting very weird towards us like they wouldn't talk to us when they came over if they did or would occasionally make backhanded remarks or roll their eyes when we spoke it was weird but again this was only when they came over which was rarely so me and my parents kind of just brushed them off like whatever they don't have to like us i just found out why they act like this probably like an hour ago i didn't know

[03:15:39] i was peacefully binge watching an anime when my phone started buzzing like crazy when i checked i was added to a group chat on instagram by our friends in this group chat they were basically bashing me for being a horrible person they were calling me homophobic spoiled brat terrible sister golden child homewrecker kept telling me i need to apologize to my sister for abusing her so obviously i'm confused

[03:16:03] when i expressed my confusion to them they told me to stop acting dumb and innocent later they realized i was being serious and genuinely did not know what they were talking about that's when they sent me a bunch of screenshots between them and my sister to sum up my sister has fed her friends a very wild story about her life and how we treat her our parents are extremely homophobic and are kicking

[03:16:26] her out at 18 because of her sexuality when she came out i quickly became the favorite child i'm spoiled and get everything i want and because of this i treat her badly for fun i hit and steal and break her things verbally abuse her and call her homophobic slurs not only do my parents allow it they encourage it she's forced to do all the chores and cooking in the house including cleaning my room this girl does

[03:16:53] not know how to cook lied about other stuff like having autism and making fun of her which is crazy because i'm the one with autism there's so much more the screenshots go back like two years so she's been telling them this shit for close to three fucking years i asked them why it's taken them this long to confront me they said she begged them not to confront or talk to us about it because apparently it will make things worse for her and her plan was to just go no contact with us once she's 18

[03:17:21] but they couldn't hold back this time because the most recent thing she told them was that apparently i found out about the guy she likes and is talking to and immediately found his social media started texting him now he won't talk to her though not the abusing but this was the last straw that broke the camel's back for them lol i debunked as much as i could sent them pics from pride festivals we went to with her sent them pics of us we take a lot together sent them pics of my brother with his boyfriend

[03:17:50] they were pissed but i asked them not to do anything until i figure out how to deal with it because apparently my sister is the abused black sheep of the family they agreed the convo about me stealing the boy she liked happened a few hours ago i checked on my sister and she was peacefully sleeping so she doesn't know about the group chat as for me i'm having many emotions about this shocked hurt angry it feels like a huge slap in the face i don't know how to go about this i don't even know why

[03:18:18] she's doing it for attention i don't know reddit what should i do so we're just going to cover the top comment on that one with the reply from op which says from queen legless it says is it possible she found her coming out to you guys as anticlimactic and about the need to create her own narrative or something wouldn't be the first time i've read about someone doing something like this i read another posted this woman smearing her parents about blogging about how horribly she was treated and

[03:18:46] her parents got wind of it and exposed her she got in trouble for that she was an adult too i suggest inviting all the friends and the parents and confront her together so she doesn't continuously change her narrative it might feel like ganging up on her but this is how you catch her in her lies she's almost 18 she could leave soon and destroy your family's reputation she's already doing that but she could like lie about all that in her college applications and other stuff have your parents

[03:19:13] contact the therapist to update on what she's been up to opi says i honestly have no clue i wrote in another comment that reading the messages from the screenshots her friends sent me i couldn't even recognize her she sounds like another person in these texts i thought her friends were just fabricating it at home she's completely normal doesn't lie sweet as always mature you get the idea can you send me a link to that post please i think i remember that story unless it was another story

[03:19:41] that was mentioned about someone that was blogging how bad their life was in their family and the family eventually found it but op did update their post through their first update and said first off i want to thank everyone for the advice you'll help me get my thoughts in order so i really appreciate that so now for the update i talked to my parents and it kind of went how i expected kind of not also i know this is kind of late i do apologize for that i stayed up most of the night

[03:20:08] a because i was reading your comments and whatnot and b couldn't sleep that much lol i went with the obvious advice yore gave me and took screenshots of everything including the messages from the last night group chat my dad gets home earlier than my mom and my sister has a part-time job so i spoke to my dad first obviously he was furious shocked hurt it was hard watching it happen since i love my dad

[03:20:32] he also apologized a lot as i'm the one who had to find this out and sit him down anyway my mom got home and my dad wanted to talk to her alone so i went into my room this is the unexpected part i heard my parents arguing a lot and i skipped the details but i later found out that mom knew about leah's lies she found out about five months ago and didn't tell my dad i didn't know the details but apparently

[03:20:56] she made my sister promise not to do it anymore and just trusted that she wouldn't lol safe to say my dad was pissed leah got home and things got worse more screaming from leah it was hard not to hear because i was literally in the house but my dad said that leah was punching and scratching her legs battling to kill herself also screaming that she was going to kill me so i was kind of scared to

[03:21:21] leave my room literally never heard my sister scream like that before my dad was already mad that my mom went behind his back and kept him out of something that involves his child my mom defended herself saying that she was just protecting leah and that she's just a kid but my dad is smart enough to realize that leah is clearly not mentally well and she needed to be put in an mh a lot of you said the same from what i heard and what my dad told me my mom begged him not to but dad was already pissed about

[03:21:51] what she already did so he threatened to leave her if she didn't comply it was more arguing but eventually they did drive her to the hospital and obviously i haven't seen her me and my dad and out my grandparents dad sighed and he's not currently speaking to my mom but he did tell her that if she tries to take leah out then she is ending their marriage i also spoke to my brother and obviously he was hurt but concerned for our sis so there's that my dad and i have talked a lot good talks he apologized

[03:22:20] to me for everything going on but it's not his fault says nothing to forgive if anything i feel more bad about the situation but me and my dad are good i'm not exactly sure where my parents relationship stands right now but dad told me not to worry about adult stuff and just focus on being a kid and going to school so that's what i'm going to try and do that's basically everything for now i will update if anything else happens thank you again reddit so there was a few comments on that

[03:22:47] update with replies from op beaksie says you were so brave and i'm so happy you told your parents it's wonderful that your dad has you in your sister's back your mom seems scared and obviously ill-equipped to handle the gravity of your sister's symptoms your dad's right though he's got this you're safe and loved it takes work but now your sister's actions and symptoms are in the open you can all start to heal by telling your dad you started the healing journey that's huge and an

[03:23:14] amazing thing some reassurance regarding your sister seven years ago my sis had several psychotic breaks it was a combo of drugs complex trauma later diagnosed bpd so a different situation but it did result in her threatening to kill me and she wanted to as she was taken to mh it was scary after her doing a shit ton of work therapy taking her meds etc she is leveled honest and just a little weird we have a

[03:23:40] strong and very honest relationship op says i didn't mention this in either of my posts because i didn't think it was relevant and now it kind of is an issue with my mom is that ever since leah came out she does kind of coddle her and makes excuses for a shitty behavior like example why is leah kind of being rude today mom says oh well i'm sorry she's just young and trying to navigate her sexuality as a

[03:24:03] young teenager and and you get it lol so cobel says wait during a freak out did your sister at any point try to explain why she did that i mean i have a pretty good idea why but i want to hear what she had to say also please stick with your dad op says she didn't explain no at first dad said she was lying she said her friends were trying to get her in trouble then she said i was trying to get her in trouble but dad wasn't having it she tried making excuses but in the end i didn't find out the reason

[03:24:33] someone asks op why the mom was trying to hide it from their family and thinking it was a phase etc op says i have a theory as to why unfortunately my mom has always been the person to run or turn away from difficult situations i think that in mom's heart she knew she needed to do something about it but at the same time my sister is a sweet angel and my mom just didn't want to face the possibility that leah is anything other than a sweet angel though she ignored it and forgot it happened

[03:25:00] and someone expressed a lot of concern for op and you know her things if her sister actually gets released op says most of her lies were about me weirdly enough it's just so crazy how she can be so loving towards me but if you read those messages you'd think she'd hate me she didn't just make up lies about how i treat her she'd bash my character at any chance she got and so would her friends things i always thought she loved about me when she was actually making fun of it behind my

[03:25:27] back for years i don't know if my dad is considering divorce or not marriage counseling for sure and we see it if she kept the secret about something so huge for months involving his child what else is she hiding also will talk to my dad about erasing me from her phone lol and people can say what they want but will not be giving her a pass for what she did because her mental health is shit mental health or not she made a choice the choice to actively bash and destroy my character behind my

[03:25:54] back for three years she is my sister and i will always love and care for her and i'm rooting for her to get better but as of right now i don't have to like her it's going to take a long time for her to earn my trust back and forgive her if she even wants that i don't think my sister even likes me lol i don't have to be the fire that keeps her warm someone talks about the mental health side and the sister getting therapy op said like i said before i don't know the ins and outs of therapy or mental

[03:26:22] hospitals i wasn't there when they took her all i know is that they were gone for a few hours before they came back and me and my dad went to my grandparents i asked my dad about it and they said it honestly depends on the situation and what the person is dealing with when they took her her legs were bleeding and swollen from hurting herself plus the details of what happened previously so yes as of right now she's in 72 hour hold or whatever it's not just the fact that she was making threats

[03:26:48] she was literally injured from hurting herself diane says it's probably a good idea to limit her internet access for a bit after she gets out or at least to monitor it a lot there's a chance she might start spreading lies on there too if she's given the chance right after coming back also i know you said that your father isn't going for divorce yet but please tell him to still gather evidence now of what your mom did just in case theoretically if it does come to divorce if your sister ends up in

[03:27:15] sole or majority custody of your mother i'm willing to bet she's going to keep enabling your sister and since your mom did already your sister will probably ask to be with her at your ages course usually let teens decide who to be with your father would have to prove why that would be bad just based off my experiences going through a shit ton of custody battles when i was younger between my parents upie responds saying yeah my dad has already said that he will do everything to help my sister get

[03:27:42] better but she's not getting a pass because of her mental issues she still chose to do something awful continue doing it for three years she's not going to have the same privileges she had when she gets out no phone or other entertainment devices for a while and no hanging out with friends outside of school not that she has anymore the point is if i didn't find out when i did something very catastrophic could have happened by getting cps called on them or worse dad said that leia needs to understand

[03:28:10] that as much as good behavior gets rewarded bad actions can have consequences as for my parents i still have no idea they did end up speaking on the phone earlier but it was pretty short all i know right now is that dad doesn't trust mom and thinks she might be hiding other stuff and definitely wants to get marriage counseling and possibly family therapy for all of us opie's update 2 says hi guys it's been a minute but i have another update if you're still interested

[03:28:36] also thanks again for the sweet comments it means more than you know i'll start with some positive stuff first i got to see my brother and his boyfriend they took me and my dad to the movies and out to dinner it was really fun and it took my mind off things new year's was really fun i spent it with my dad's side of the family i haven't shared too much details with friends because this is a family matter but from what they know they've been super supportive and sweet now onto other stuff

[03:29:02] leia was supposed to get out on the first but that didn't end up happening she did get out on the fifth and is at home with our mom again my repeat i don't know how all that stuff works i had a conversation with my dad about not feeling comfortable going home and being around my sister and mom just yet he was very understanding but he did have to go back for obvious reasons and my grandparents were more than pleased to keep me there blah about my sister from what i know her first day

[03:29:28] out she didn't talk to anyone and basically just slept the rest of the day second was a little rough she wasn't happy about not getting her phone back or having some privileges taken from her my mom tried to fight with my dad about it but basically gave up as she's still in hot water with him when my mom found out i wasn't coming home right away wasn't really open to talking to leia about the situation yet she got pretty upset and sent me a message she basically said that i can't be mad at

[03:29:54] leia because she's not well and needs all the support she can get right now apparently she's distraught that i don't want to talk to her and i'm making things worse okay literally never cared less leia does have depression and anxiety i don't know any more than that other than she's being medicated i'm pretty sure my dad did talk to my sister's therapist due to her update on the situation my dad did go through my sister's phone and it wasn't cute he found a group chat where my sister

[03:30:22] and her friends would basically harass this girl from their school reason no clue not just for that situation but for the whole situation in general my dad did have to find the numbers of leia's friends parents and let them know what's been going on i have no clue what's happening with them but it's none of my business leia did admit that the lying was for attention and false sympathy and she never meant for it to go this far not sure if i believe that entirely i don't think i need it but my dad

[03:30:48] also wants to put me in therapy so i'm just going with it big issue right now my mom continues to coddle and enable my sister my sister knows this too so she hasn't been going to my dad about anything because she knows that he is actually going to parent her my mom will try to stand her ground with leia but then the waterworks start and blah blah blah it's annoying and it makes my dad upset it's the fact my sister knows she can get my mom to do what she wants it's manipulative and gross i've gone back to

[03:31:18] and leia is coming back soon i'm worried for when that happens a lot of you said that she might try and spin the story with the teachers or counselors but also as of right now my sister is essentially friendless i'm not going to talk to her at school either i mean it is the consequences of her own actions but i can't help but pity her i just don't want her loser ex-friends to come up and be assholes to her at the end of the day i think that inevitably there will be a meeting with leia

[03:31:46] my parents ex-friends and their parents and the girl that leia and her friends harassed i already said this in a comment but i'm going to say it here too regardless of what you think i do not plan on forgiving or speaking to my sister anytime soon she does not get a pass because her mental health is shit she still actively chose to do something disgusting and continued to do that for three years she did not just make up lies about how i treat her her and a loser squad would actively make

[03:32:13] fun of and bash my character any chance they got looks hobbies interests were all bashed i would never let someone speak about my sister the way they let them speak about me i love her and genuinely hope she gets better but i do not have to like her my mom can think i'm a brat and my sister can cry about it as much as she wants i don't care it's going to take a long time for me to trust her again

[03:32:36] it honestly terrifies me to the core how insanely two-faced a person can be it literally baffles me main issue right now mom and dad my dad wanted to fight for their marriage he really did looked into marriage counseling and ic immediately but after more talking and arguing about my sister my mom lying and continuing with her bs my dad ended up finding something very disgusting that my mom has been hiding from him that left him heartbroken i'd rather not get into it but i'm sure you'll have some

[03:33:06] ideas i'm still letting all of this process so no my dad does not my dad does not plan on continuing with my mother things are a little tough right now my dad can't exactly just leave our house mainly because my sister refuses to leave my mom and understandably my dad doesn't want to leave leah alone with her so he's staying just until some legal stuff is sorted out and i don't plan on going back anytime soon that's basically it for now i did a file update again we'll just have to wait and see

[03:33:34] i love my dad so much he's my best friend so i'm gonna try my best to cheer him up and be a good kid during these times thanks again for all the support you're great one comment with reply before the next update and they love blue violet says situations like this that make you realize who your parents favorite child is and it sounds like leah is your mom does your mom have a history of doing the same thing lying for attention op says to be honest i've always been closer with my dad leah's always

[03:34:03] been closer to my mom growing up my mom has never showed any blatant favoritism between us but it's always been kind of obvious to members outside of immediate family which child is closer with which parent to answer your last question i'm honestly not sure if she was like that when she was younger if you haven't already guessed some people have my dad recently found out my mom had an affair and from what i've observed and what i've been updated on my mom refuses to take accountability

[03:34:29] for it and keeps playing the victim the op's next update says honestly didn't think i'll be making another update but the account has just been sitting here and i felt bad for leaving everyone on a cliffhanger lol spoilers it got worse so i'll start with my parents they aren't speaking well they are through attorneys but my mom can't be civil for two seconds in the same room as my father i did write this in a comment but yes my mother was having an affair there were some theories that

[03:34:56] my sister found out about the affair which triggered her breakdown or she found out so mom and her were covering for each other my mom's affair started just short of a year ago and leah had no clue it's unknown if this was my mother's only affair now onto leah she got much worse my mom basically went against everything my dad and her agreed on and gave her phone back plus other privileges my dad wasn't even surprised anymore and just turned her service off he pays for all of

[03:35:24] our phones he's also planning on taking mom and sis off the family plan she did go back to school which turned out the way i expected she's doing school from home now and i'll get into that in my last post i believe i mentioned that my dad went through my sister's phone and found a very disturbing group chat where leah and the losers would bully this girl i don't think i can actually classify what they were doing to this girl as bullying though i talked about it in private messages with someone but it's

[03:35:51] not something i want to repeat on here please just know it was very very disturbing and gross enough so that the school needed to get involved which did happen i'll just call the girl claire i won't get into the details of what happened during the school meeting but ex-friends and my sister got expelled yes expelled leah's one another excuse for bullying was she was a bitch to me my parents were just going to enroll leah in an alternative school but her ex-friend group was also going to

[03:36:19] that school they were angry with my sister threatening to jump her and stuff my mom feared for her safety ironic so she's doing it from home instead actually spoke to claire privately mostly to apologize on behalf of my sister let her know we had no clue she was honestly one of the sweetest people i've ever spoken with i feel terrible she did not deserve what my sister putting her through that honestly

[03:36:44] makes me ashamed that i'm related to her claire is doing okay though she has a good support system and is in therapy leah has completely stopped going to therapy and taking her meds and basically switched from a victim mentality to straight up being disgusting to everyone in her life that cares about her with the exception of being nice to my mom when she wants something leah and i did eventually end up speaking through texting when she got her phone back she sent me a long paragraph on instagram which i

[03:37:12] won't post on here but to sum up it was basically just her saying that everything that's going on with our family right now is my fault and all of this could have been avoided if i just talked to her first about the screenshots not inherently untrue but i also don't really care originally i believe my dad was going to try and get primary custody of leah because he didn't trust my mother for obvious reasons and i don't know the details of the discussions he's had with his lawyer about it but

[03:37:37] leah is going to be 18 soon plus with everything else going on i don't think he's going to do that anymore my dad and i did have a long conversation about leah about what the future looks like for her to sum that up we'll always love and care for her as his daughter but as a person he doesn't particularly like her at the moment if leah came to him and showed genuine signs of remorse plus wanting to get better he would do so in a heartbeat but as of right now you can't help someone who

[03:38:04] doesn't want help forcing it won't make things better as for my mother and i we aren't speaking either our last conversation was mostly her screaming at me and berating me over the phone mostly over me being a brat and not wanting to come home lol i don't really know what the future looks like right now all i know is i'm gonna stick with my dad both my dad and i have been going to therapy which has been keeping things lighter and less stressful so that's good but that's basically the

[03:38:32] update i'm sorry to all of you who are really rooting and praying for my sister to get better this is not easy for anyone in my family right now but i do apologize once again thanks for all the support and sweet comments it means a lot i did end up showing my dad the post which he was thankfully wasn't upset about he appreciates all the support reddit has shown our family i may update again if anything major happens but if i don't i don't thanks again what an absolute messy situation

[03:39:01] and all i can do is really just hope for some kind of positive outcome i guess it's really hard to see one at the moment with what's going on the mom constantly enabling this behavior allowing it to continue to happen it just feels like leah's going to continue to spiral when you know she's got that kind of support and she's obviously going to keep sticking with her mom because her mom continues to enable it the mom cheating as well and you know my heart just goes out to the dad and op in this

[03:39:30] 15 years old and dealing with all this and the way they talk in this situation as well it's incredibly mature i'm super glad that they said that they're getting some therapy from themselves because i can't imagine what going through all this all the emotions that must be tied up with it you know you're finding out what your sister's done and the mental health issues at the same time of course no excuses as usual the mom having an affair and the mom you know keep coddling her continuously worrying about your dad

[03:39:58] and his mental health i just hope that op finds time for themselves to heal themselves because that is just absolutely heartbreaking for them but what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below you