I Ruined My Own Gender Reveal Party And My Dad Is Furious r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:17] Much love guys, now today's first story comes from ThrowawayGenReveal from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit. It's a story you may have seen in the past on maybe on other channels as well, but it has a new update to it as well, which is titled The Final Update and came seven months later. As always we'll read the previous parts of the story and you can skip parts of it if you want with the timestamps down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:43] It's titled, Am I the Arsehole for Ruining My Own Gender Reveal Party? I'm Pregnant with a Baby Boy Due in November. This was in July by the way. My fiance and I didn't care much about the sex of our child so we didn't make too much noise about it once we found out. The only people we'd informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings. Prior to this, my father's girlfriend of three years had been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party.

[00:01:10] I've always been clear about not wanting one. When I announced my son's gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn't changed my mind about a party. I don't like gender reveals. Never have, never will. I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion either. Days later, my father's girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment. My dad was out of town. When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me.

[00:01:39] There were pink and blue decorations everywhere, which made what was going on pretty clear. As I stood there in shock, my father's girlfriend excitedly told me they're throwing me a surprise gender reveal party. Since I'd already told her, she had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over. The guests included her mother, whom I don't get along with, some of her friends, my mother-in-law, not my mum, and four of my friends.

[00:02:09] As I later found out, my mother-in-law and friends had been told I'd changed my mind about gender reveals. I had not. Still, in the doorway, I looked at everyone and said, It's a boy. You guys can go home now. I left without looking back. Hours later, my father called me furious that I'd ruined the party. He said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money, and love into planning it, and I should have just shown respect and gratitude for it.

[00:02:37] Apparently, she hadn't stopped crying since I left. It's been almost a week, and they're both still upset. Even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place, they're insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour, or at least cut the cake. Am I the asshole? Look, in the end, this is all on dad's girlfriend. She's the one who's manipulated others, telling that OP changed her mind about a gender reveal.

[00:03:02] Totally disrespecting OP's wishes regarding her own pregnancy. But I wonder what her ultimate plan was. Commenter says, Not the asshole. This smacks of her trying to prove that she cares about you more than your mum. Especially seeing as how either your mum wasn't invited or she turned down the invitation to respect your wishes. She doesn't seem to get that the way to prove she cares about you at all is to actually listen to what you want and don't want. OP says, I asked my mum.

[00:03:31] She confirmed she wasn't invited. According to my father's girlfriend, she didn't have her number. That's probably true. But I have no idea how she could have gotten my mother-in-laws. I think the real reason is that she knew my mum wouldn't back her up. Had my mother been invited, she would have told me everything. She knows I wouldn't want a gender reveal. Another commenter says, There was cake! You could have deliberately misunderstood and said, Thank you for the baby shower for my baby boy. And then stayed for cake.

[00:04:00] Then you could have also, in between bites of cake, acted all confused to the guests and said, I'm so glad she respected my wishes on not having a gender reveal party and threw me a shower like I preferred. And then went and got another slice of cake. Shaked my head. Missed an opportunity to have your cake and eat it too. OP says, Wouldn't have worked. The moment they all yelled, Surprised, She said it was a gender reveal. The decorations also made it obvious. My fiance did get me a cake after all this, So,

[00:04:28] I didn't really miss out on that. Another commenter says, Not the arsehole. It's your dad's girlfriend infertile. Does she have kids? OP says, She doesn't have kids, But I have no idea whether she's infertile. Another commenter says, I mean, I guess I don't blame you, But it sucks for the other people who just showed up for a party, That they thought you wanted and got ditched. Your mother-in-law and friends didn't do anything wrong, And they got punished too. OP says, I talked to them afterwards to clear things up. They were all confused and upset on my behalf.

[00:04:58] I made it clear I understood they had been lied to, And it hadn't been my intention to put them in that position. We all apologize to each other. Another commenter says, Your actions were a reflection of how you feel about the girlfriend. Not at all about spending time with people who love and respect you, And are looking forward to your little one's arrival. OP says, If she wants a get together, She can throw a party. She does not need to make that about my child's sex, Especially after I told her not to. My friends and mother-in-law did indeed think they'd come for me,

[00:05:28] And I spoke to them afterwards, But I will not buy that her mother and friends were there because they cared about me. You're not the only one assuming I don't like my father's girlfriend. That's not true. But when I tell someone I don't want something, Multiple times, And they go ahead and do it anyway. I didn't have to stick around. And no, This was not about the hormones. So OP came in with their first update, Which was a couple of weeks after that one, And said, Thank you all for the replies,

[00:05:55] Especially those who called me the arsehole for having a gender reveal. I'm assuming you didn't read my post, But you still cracked me up. All jokes aside, I've been expected to be a pushover for most of my life. Older daughter of divorced parents, So it was good to know I was right to stand my ground on this issue. After reading your comments, I've concluded that the only thing I did wrong Was leaving without talking to my friends and mother-in-law. They were lied to and put in an awkward position after I left. I did talk to them the next day and apologized,

[00:06:24] But I wish I'd told them what was going on. A few days ago, My fiancé and I invited my father and his girlfriend over. I told them I was extremely upset with them both, But I wanted to sort this out peacefully. We still ended up fighting. My father agreed with some points I made, But kept insisting that I was ungrateful And owed his girlfriend an apology. She was quiet at first, But started crying about 20 minutes into the fight. My father's girlfriend said she threw the party Because she cared about me, And that she'd want one if she was pregnant.

[00:06:54] She started talking about all the gender reveal videos She'd watched on TikTok, And how happy the parents looked in them. She told me she genuinely thought I'd love it, And couldn't understand why I'd been so rude to her. To my surprise, My fiancé was the first to snap at that. He's usually the calm one. He told her to stop calling it my party, Since she clearly threw it for herself. I'd expressed countless times that I didn't want a gender reveal, And I was well within my rights to leave When she tried to ambush me with one.

[00:07:22] The fight didn't go on for much longer after that. Near its end, My father asked me Why I hadn't at least played along for a while. I told him I wasn't there expecting to spend an hour with someone I've been meaning to get to know better. Not to spend my entire afternoon Entertaining a dozen people. More than half of whom I either didn't know, Or didn't like. We got together to talk about my child's privates. I didn't mean to upset anyone, But I had to get out. My father didn't argue with that.

[00:07:51] There were two main pieces of advice from your comments That I decided to follow. The first was to tell my father's girlfriend She needed to apologize to my friends and mother-in-law For lying to them. She agreed. And they later confirmed she did. Secondly, Neither of them will be allowed to meet my son at the hospital When he's born. My father had been looking forward to this. So, it wasn't an easy decision. But I made it clear it was final. My father called me the next day to apologize for everything. And I forgave him. I don't expect an apology from his girlfriend,

[00:08:21] But I'm done feeding that fire. My life is stressful enough as it is. My son will be here in November. He already has a name. And we've just started working on his nursery. I truly can't wait to meet him. The top commenter on this one said Gender reveals are still cringe. And always will be. Apey says, There are dozens of reasons I dislike gender reveals. But I don't think that's one of them. I do agree with it though. But I like plenty of cringe stuff. So, that wouldn't be enough for me to dislike something. Someone says,

[00:08:51] Does your dad and his girlfriend have a large age gap? She just revealed that she wanted kids. Opie says, They're 16 years apart, I think. Commenter says, For the sake of your mental health, Do not tell anyone the names you have chosen. Opie says, Oh, we're not saying anything until birth. Only people who know besides us are my best friends. Who will be my son's godmother. And her husband. So, seven months later. Opie comes in with her next update. And it says,

[00:09:20] Everyone, it's been a while. Hope it's okay for me to update here. I remember promising myself I'd make a final post as soon as the dust had settled. And I'm pretty sure the time has come. First of all, I'm a mum. My son was born in November. And he turned three months old a little over a week ago. He's beautiful and perfect. And I still can't believe he's here. Secondly, I have some updates on my father and his girlfriend. Most importantly, they broke up last month. Turns out, they were cheating on each other.

[00:09:49] I don't know much about this. That isn't gossip. I can't confirm. But I did have some minor problems with her after my last post. About a week after the conversation I mentioned in my previous update, she became fixated on trying to find out my son's name. According to her, there was a personalized gift she wanted to get me that would need it. She spent three weeks asking around about it before giving up. I didn't invite my father's girlfriend to my baby shower. Almost definitely a dick move, but I didn't want her there.

[00:10:19] She was still on her name crusade at the time. And it was becoming exhausting to deal with. My mother was the one who threw it. So it didn't make sense for her to be there anyway. My fiance and I had dinner with her and my father instead, which did end up being nice. She gave us diapers instead of the personalized gift. And it was quite honestly the best thing she could have gotten me. Nothing happened when I went into labor. At least not on that end. I introduced my son to my father through video chat. He kept this part of the deal and didn't visit us.

[00:10:48] But I later found out his girlfriend did try to convince him too. They came over to meet the baby a bit over a week later. Her mother was visiting them at the time. And I allowed her to join us despite the fact that I never got along with her. Awful decision. She complained the whole visit. Also, according to her, I had it easy because of my C-section. So she felt the need to tell me a whole birth story. Jokes on her. My kid can kill Macbeth.

[00:11:16] Four jokes aside, my father was particularly upset about this. He told me he had a huge argument with his girlfriend afterwards because her mother ruined his first time meeting his first grandchild. The holidays went fine. The breakup happened early in January. Again, I don't know much about it. A few days after I found out, my father's ex-girlfriend texted me. She apologized for whatever stress she had put me through during my pregnancy. We wished each other well. I'm sure both she and my father will start dating their affair partners now.

[00:11:46] If I learned anything these last few months, it's that my family is a fucking mess. Moving forward, I'll do my best to protect my child from this. I still have over a year until my wedding. So we'll enjoy our time away from the spotlight while it lasts. This will be my last post. Thanks everyone. Now firstly, congratulations on the little one and I'm glad it was pretty much drama free from that point of view. But also, I think my eyes done a full 360 rolling backwards when,

[00:12:15] instead of calling to her, I had it easy because of my C-section. That's not fucking easy. That's major surgery. But them discovering that they were cheating on each other at the same time as well. Like you said, that is messy, isn't it? I just like, obviously I'd just be stepping away, you know, living your life. It sounds like your side is pretty balanced, pretty happy and, you know, just living your little bubble. It sounds like that's the happy place to be. Let them deal with their own shit. And I know it's not the point, but it always goes into my mind.

[00:12:45] Who's got time for this shit? They were cheating on each other. The scheduling of that is just insane in itself. Seeing each other, that each got an affair partner, scheduling all that. Oh my word. No one got time for these shenanigans. Anyway, I'm going off as usual. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story is from SQ1 Nostalgia from the Am I the Asshole subreddit.

[00:13:15] And it says, Would I be the asshole if I extended my stay at my parents' house and missed my wife's cousin's wedding? Oof. My wife and I are on vacation in my native country. I lived here until I was 18 when I moved to Canada. My wife was born Canadian, but her parents moved from the same country I did. We have a one-year-old daughter too. My parents still live in my native country. My parents and her relatives live in different parts of the country. So we landed at her relatives.

[00:13:45] I spent a day there, said my goodbyes to my wife and daughter, and flew to my parents. The plan was that I would spend two weeks with my parents, then fly to my wife's for three days, attend their cousin's wedding with her. We would all fly back to my parents for a few days. My parents got to see my daughter, then fly back to Canada. A couple of days ago, my relatives had decided to arrange a hangout for the entire family at the beach. Huts booked and all. Some other relatives of mine that live in other countries are also here at the time,

[00:14:14] so it's supposed to be a good family gathering. But it's scheduled for the day of my wife's cousin's wedding. A couple of my uncles called me to ask me to change my plan so I could attend, and my parents want me to be there too. I thought of changing my flight to later, so I'd be going after the wedding for just a day, and then coming back with my wife and daughter. I told my wife about this, and I was pretty sure she'd be on board, because even though she's very close to her cousin, I didn't know her at all.

[00:14:43] However, she got really upset saying we had a plan, that she wanted me to be there at the wedding with her, that she wanted good photos of our family. I tried to explain that it would mean a lot to my family if I could make it, that they don't make these plans often, and that the wedding is all her relatives, a lot of whom who don't know me. She got really upset, wouldn't hear of it, and said I need to be there. We ended the call. Would I be the arsehole if I extended my stay and missed her cousin's wedding,

[00:15:12] whom I don't know, because my relatives have planned a grand gathering, and would like me to be there? Look, for me in this one, you would be the arsehole in this situation. I get family gatherings being important. I'm a family person myself, I love a family gathering. But you made a commitment to your wife's plans first. You phoned her, you took your shot, asking if you could go to your family gathering, and she communicated clearly how important it is to her, for you to attend this wedding together. Your wife isn't doing it for her cousin's sake, she's doing it for her,

[00:15:42] and also, she's been caring for your one-year-old daughter for the past couple of weeks. And the fact that you're asking about extending your stay, after you had that conversation afterwards, like you're just gonna do it anyway, had my eyebrows on the roof. But, okay position says, sorry, you would be the arsehole. You asked her input, she gave it. Yes, it would mean a lot to your relatives if you stayed, but apparently, it would mean a lot to your wife if you came to the wedding. It may sound unfair, but ultimately, it's more in your interest to make her happy, than to make some relatives happy.

[00:16:13] You did have a plan. Did you not inform your relatives ahead of time that you would be there, and when? Sounds like this all could have been planned better. Warring person says, you're the arsehole. Do you not parent your daughter at all? She's one, and you want to send your wife alone to a wedding with a toddler? That's just crazy. Sharon mum says, you're the arsehole. Your wife has already been solo parenting for two weeks. Now you want her to go to a wedding, toddler in tow, without your assistant, so that you can further extend your vacation.

[00:16:43] When does your wife get a vacation without your child? So, let's find out what OP did in the end. This update came around a week later, and it said, I received a justifiably harsh response to my last post, and I can't thank everyone enough for that. I realized I was being a selfish arsehole, and I went to attend the wedding. I had a really good time there. It felt really good to see my wife and daughter after two weeks. I was prepared to apologize to my wife's parents too for my reluctance, but fortunately, she hadn't told them I was considering not coming

[00:17:12] during the few hours when I was undecided. I had to meet and greet a lot of people. My wife was the first amongst her cousins to get married, so I guess I'm the first outsider to become a part of the family. So, I spent a lot of time talking to her relatives, and got to know a few of them too. She's very close to her cousin, so she was basically what our equivalent of maid of honor is. She had a lot of stuff to deal with, and I was making myself abuse by keeping our daughter preoccupied. It planned a lot of things, family pictures,

[00:17:41] couples dinner with a bride and groom, and I was honestly in awe of the planning that went into it. I've been feeling pretty ashamed of how much trouble I would have caused her had I not gone. She asked me a few times if I enjoyed myself, which would make me feel even worse about it. My parents were disappointed about me not attending the family gathering, and it sounds like it was fun. But I've realized, nothing is worth not being there for my wife and daughter. Thank you for the arsehole verdict. I needed it. Artichoke said to OB,

[00:18:10] I'm glad you honored your promise to your wife. LazyBoneStreamer says, you don't realize it, but it makes a huge difference in your relationship. Had you not come, your wife would have had the resentment about your priorities. Anderson says, Damn, his wife was even the maid of honor at the wedding. SpecialSchedule says, and he didn't realize it until he got to the wedding. Did he not see her planning this stuff? Kimmy says, So, you left out your wife had an important role in the wedding in the first post.

[00:18:39] You didn't seem to miss your own daughter for two weeks, and was ready to pawn off your daughter to her parents and your wife, or she had wedding duties. I'm glad it took Reddit to change your mind about going. Your wife also covered for you for the wedding, so you wouldn't look bad in front of her parents. Hope you didn't tell your relatives and parents that your wife forced you to go to the wedding, and made you miss the gathering. And the comments were a mix after this. Some people still against OP for the way that they were originally talking, and the way that they were talking in the update as well. Well,

[00:19:09] others saying that they're glad that OP did turn it around, and took the you're the arsehole verdict, and are recognizing their mistakes, if you like. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge, massive thank you for being here today. You are truly appreciated. Wouldn't be here without you. I never forget that. And if you do want to listen to more Reddit stories, don't forget at the very end of the video, there'll be a couple of playlists there that you can click on,

[00:19:37] and it will automatically scroll through all those videos for you. There's a lot of them. I'm always shocked when people tell me they've listened to the whole playlist. I'm like, what the hell? But I do appreciate you. So thank you so, so much, and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care, and much love. Bye.