I Robbed Our Family Pets Grave And My Wife Is Furious r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider? Hit that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now, today's first story comes from Moist Hospital. And before we do get into it, I do want to give you a warning. It does contain talk of losing a pet. If you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:35] Now it's titled, Would I Be The Asshole For Grave Robbing Our Family Pet?

[00:00:41] Our dog passed three days ago. She predated my daughter and even my wife. So it was especially hard on me.

[00:00:48] We had a little burial in our backyard where my daughter ate and said a few words. We put her favorite blanket and a toy in the coffin I made and I buried her. But unbeknownst to me, my daughter snuck in another toy.

[00:01:02] I had a stuffed penguin I've had for nearly 15 years. It was something I bought for my previous dog before she passed and this new dog played with it a lot too.

[00:01:12] I wanted to keep this toy forever because it represented two dogs I've owned, not just the one.

[00:01:19] I kept it on my home office desk and had no intention of ever getting rid of it. I guess my daughter thought it should be with her too, so she took it, put it in the coffin and I buried it.

[00:01:30] I only found out today after asking her where the penguin went. Obviously, I'm not going to get mad at her for this, but this cut deep.

[00:01:37] No fault of her own. She didn't know, but I'm left with a hard decision.

[00:01:43] I think tonight when everyone's asleep, I'm going to dig up the coffin, pry it open, get the penguin back and then rebury the coffin.

[00:01:51] I made mention of this to my wife as a joke to gauge a reaction and she said it was a dark joke and no sane person would do that.

[00:01:59] I might have to do it and never tell her or anyone else.

[00:02:02] Would I be the asshole for grave robbing our family pet to retrieve this stuffed penguin?

[00:02:08] So Opie first adds a picture of the penguin and says, I got it.

[00:02:14] I didn't get much time alone with my dog after she passed.

[00:02:18] I couldn't say anything at the funeral because my daughter said something beautiful I couldn't follow up.

[00:02:24] As macabre as it sounds, this is the closure I needed.

[00:02:27] Getting to spend 10 minutes saying anything I wanted to my puppy.

[00:02:30] We covered her in a blanket so I didn't see her.

[00:02:34] I just saw the penguin, grabbed it, said my spiel and then reburied her.

[00:02:39] There was no smell or anything.

[00:02:41] I'm going to be honest, it hurts.

[00:02:43] It still does.

[00:02:45] It only made my grieving worse doing this, but I know I'll always have a memento with me.

[00:02:51] What if we move or there's a flood or a house burns down?

[00:02:55] I'll have very little but memories.

[00:02:57] At least now I have something of hers I can cherish forever.

[00:03:01] First commenter says to Opie, do what you have to do.

[00:03:05] I have my sweet dog's collar and I'm not reusing it.

[00:03:08] It's hanging here as a memento to the good girl she was.

[00:03:11] I needed that collar to keep a piece of her like you need the penguin.

[00:03:15] I'm sorry for your loss.

[00:03:17] S says, I actually agreed with everyone else who said don't do it.

[00:03:21] So I'm not going to even pretend to say I understand and I can imagine the grief and hurt you're going through now.

[00:03:27] So I'll just say, I'm glad you found the closure you needed and hope you'll find peace as well.

[00:03:32] Because I can't help but think any day now we'll see a new post.

[00:03:36] Am I the arsehole for not speaking to my husband after he robbed my dog's grave?

[00:03:42] SLR says, man, you are not thinking right.

[00:03:45] Look at what you said.

[00:03:46] What if we move or there's a flood or the house burns down?

[00:03:50] You think that toy is going to magically escape all those things unscathed.

[00:03:54] On top of that, you're bringing a stuffed toy that has definitely been contaminated by decomp,

[00:03:59] whether you smelled anything or not, into the house where your wife and young daughter are.

[00:04:04] Beyond all that, they will all know you dug up your family pet to take the toy out.

[00:04:08] You really want your daughter to think her daddy is stealing from your dead dog.

[00:04:13] I really doubt your wife is going to have any good thoughts here either.

[00:04:16] I'm not going to call you an arsehole because grief can make people do some fucked up shit sometimes.

[00:04:22] But you seriously need to re-examine your thinking and processes around this.

[00:04:26] OP, when asked if someone finds it, OP says,

[00:04:30] They'll probably never find out.

[00:04:31] My wife and I both have our own individual safes in our basement.

[00:04:35] Mr. Penguin went straight into mine.

[00:04:39] So OP did update the post around two months later and said,

[00:04:42] I wanted to make an update on my Am I the Arsehole post.

[00:04:45] I couldn't keep it a secret for very long and told my wife.

[00:04:49] She was livid, but it blew over the next day.

[00:04:52] She said she doesn't want it in the house or anything else for that matter.

[00:04:56] She said she wanted it in the ground with our dog, but didn't want me to go through that again.

[00:05:00] So we keep it in my safe for the time being.

[00:05:03] It's never to be brought out, especially shown to our daughter who is not going to be made aware.

[00:05:08] I decided to seek some professional help as per the suggestion of one poster.

[00:05:12] I've been told I have diagnosed depression.

[00:05:16] They asked me 20 some odd questions and the only ones I didn't answer yes to was things like harm.

[00:05:22] My doctor advised me to hold off getting another pet until I can fully grieve.

[00:05:27] It's hard because my last dog was bought by my parents and lived with a family until I moved out and brought it with me.

[00:05:33] This one had just passed.

[00:05:35] I did all the work.

[00:05:36] I drove together, paid for her.

[00:05:38] I did everything.

[00:05:40] There's reoccurring feelings of guilt.

[00:05:42] I didn't do as good as I could have and I nitpick on things I've done wrong in the past regarding the dog.

[00:05:47] It's not healthy for me to have another one, at least for now.

[00:05:51] It's probably the hardest situation I've been in in my whole life and it was playing with my head so much I did what I did.

[00:05:58] I'm considering a penguin tattoo as memorial likewise as someone suggested.

[00:06:04] Oh, this was such a difficult, sad post at the same time.

[00:06:09] And when I first read the title, I thought it was going to be someone that was literally taking like a family pet out of their grave and then taking it to a new location.

[00:06:17] I thought, oh, this ain't going to end well.

[00:06:18] But it turned out just to be getting like a sentimental item out of that grave.

[00:06:23] I was thinking to myself, would I do it?

[00:06:26] Probably not.

[00:06:28] But I understand where he was coming from at the same time.

[00:06:32] Like the comment said, like I've said in previous stories, grief makes us do all kinds of weird stuff to find comfort in losing, in this case, a family pet.

[00:06:42] And the item was very sentimental to him.

[00:06:45] I sort of got while the wife was side-eyeing this and thinking, whoa, hold on.

[00:06:48] Don't be doing that kind of thing.

[00:06:50] Because at the same time, I get brought him some comfort.

[00:06:53] And, you know, I don't mean this to sound horrible in saying it.

[00:06:56] The dog's not going to miss it.

[00:06:57] But in the end, I'm glad OP did go talk to a professional, got diagnosed when he did, and hopefully gets to tackle his grief and loss.

[00:07:08] It takes time and, you know, it probably never fully goes away.

[00:07:12] But dealing with it in as healthy way as possible is the best way forward.

[00:07:15] Come on now.

[00:07:16] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:07:19] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:07:21] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:07:25] Let's move on to another story.

[00:07:28] Now, our next story comes from a throwaway account and says,

[00:07:32] My 35 female husband, 36 male, admitted to cheating with his best friend, 36 male.

[00:07:39] I'm not mad and I don't know why.

[00:07:41] Any advice would help.

[00:07:43] I, 35 female, have been married to my husband for a bit under 10 years now.

[00:07:48] We have no children.

[00:07:50] Yesterday night after dinner, my husband, Jay, broke down and admitted he's been sleeping with his childhood best friend, Pete, for, quote, a while now.

[00:08:00] Longer than I want to say.

[00:08:02] It was the first time I've seen him cry in more than two years over something serious.

[00:08:07] Jake is the kind that cries over dogs dying in shows, but is stony silent at tragedy.

[00:08:13] However, I'm not mad.

[00:08:15] I'm not even sure I care.

[00:08:16] I do love my husband more than anything in the world and I don't want to leave him.

[00:08:21] I can't move on.

[00:08:23] I can't stay like this and I don't want to.

[00:08:26] But Jay has said he won't stop seeing Pete, no matter what I choose.

[00:08:31] He's sorry for doing this to me and he has said he loves me and I'm his wife and heart, but Pete means the same to him.

[00:08:38] Basically, he can't choose.

[00:08:41] He loves us both.

[00:08:42] It falls to me to choose and I don't know what to do.

[00:08:46] Honestly, the bit that hurts the most is the fact that Pete is a good friend of mine, but he couldn't face me himself instead.

[00:08:52] Let Jay break down in front of me.

[00:08:54] Sorry this turned into a rant.

[00:08:56] Any advice would help.

[00:08:57] If anyone's gone through something similar.

[00:09:03] Quite simply in this one, I would leave.

[00:09:06] I mean, whenever I think of these stories, I always think of the trust.

[00:09:09] You know, he was sneaking off behind your back and it just kind of feels to me like at the moment you're in shock from it, from what's happened.

[00:09:17] You said you don't feel anything.

[00:09:18] I just feel like that's your brain trying to protect you from the hurt that he's just causing you right now.

[00:09:23] And I just feel like if you was to stay with him, he's just going to hurt you further down the line.

[00:09:28] He's going to make that choice with Pete or whatever.

[00:09:31] But Opie edits the post and said it's come up a bit.

[00:09:34] So my husband has been openly bisexual since before I even met him.

[00:09:39] Peter is bi or pan.

[00:09:41] He's dated guys and girls and other in the past.

[00:09:44] No one in the last three years to my knowledge.

[00:09:47] I'm straight.

[00:09:48] Edit two.

[00:09:49] Since apparently I have no self-esteem, I guess I couldn't possibly have four degrees, a PhD, make roughly 120k a year, be the main provider for the household, run my own business and go to the gym twice a week.

[00:10:01] I know I look good.

[00:10:03] I actually have a rather large ego about myself.

[00:10:06] This honestly has nothing to do with self-esteem.

[00:10:09] I don't know where it reads that I'm a poor little girl who got in over her head by a big strong man.

[00:10:15] But I can bench press J and wait.

[00:10:17] I know what I'm worth.

[00:10:19] And I know I want J, though.

[00:10:22] First commenter says, leave.

[00:10:25] Opie says, I don't know if I should, though.

[00:10:27] We're happy.

[00:10:28] We can still be happy.

[00:10:30] Throwing that away seems...

[00:10:31] I don't know.

[00:10:33] Snoop Recipes replies saying, so you don't mind sharing your husband?

[00:10:38] How many nights a week will you get to be with him?

[00:10:40] Or will his friend be moving in with you?

[00:10:43] Opie says, I don't know.

[00:10:45] He's managed to be with Pete enough in the time we currently have.

[00:10:49] I don't know how it would have changed if I stayed.

[00:10:52] Fox says, what I don't understand is, why don't you want better for yourself?

[00:10:57] He told you he doesn't care if you stay or leave.

[00:11:00] But Pete?

[00:11:01] He stays.

[00:11:02] I think he cares about his relationship with Pete.

[00:11:04] How do you stay with someone who doesn't care if you stay?

[00:11:07] He doesn't want to fight for this relationship.

[00:11:10] You yourself said you don't care that he cheated.

[00:11:13] You're financially independent.

[00:11:15] What's keeping you from just ending it and moving on?

[00:11:18] You say you love him, but if you did,

[00:11:21] wouldn't you care that he's cheated for years with a person you considered a friend?

[00:11:25] Wouldn't you care that he's chosen his relationship with Pete

[00:11:28] as the one he can't let go of?

[00:11:30] That's a good point, isn't it?

[00:11:32] Opie says, must be how I wrote this post, sorry.

[00:11:36] Jay does care.

[00:11:37] He just can't choose and doesn't want to force me to choose.

[00:11:40] He's staying at a friend's house, not Pete's.

[00:11:43] I double checked.

[00:11:44] He's staying with a married couple of a lesbian friend we have.

[00:11:47] So he's not cheating with them right now.

[00:11:50] So I have the house in quote, as long as I need to do anything.

[00:11:54] Is it bad that I don't really care that he cheated?

[00:11:57] I have some heartache of the lies and who it was with.

[00:12:00] Not that it was a man, but Pete.

[00:12:03] The actual cheating itself doesn't bother me too much.

[00:12:05] And I honestly think I could just move on, ignore it or somehow work with it.

[00:12:11] The Opie came in with an update and said,

[00:12:14] Hi all, some of you are about to lose your shit.

[00:12:17] Side note, I chose to cancel my meeting with Pete.

[00:12:21] After reading all your advice, I chose to ask for space,

[00:12:24] which he, Jay, 36 male freely gave.

[00:12:28] He was staying at a friend's house when I called.

[00:12:30] I couldn't face him yet and asked.

[00:12:32] This helped to confirm what I already knew.

[00:12:34] He was indeed staying with our mutual friends.

[00:12:36] A married lesbian, both 36 female couple.

[00:12:40] So he didn't run to Pete, 36 male as some of you thought.

[00:12:43] I was leaning towards separation after reading your advice.

[00:12:47] Well, a few days after I requested space,

[00:12:50] I decided to ask for separation officially.

[00:12:53] Cut along and ice cream and tear-filled, three weeks short.

[00:12:56] I caved and called him.

[00:12:58] I did not beg for him back or anything like that.

[00:13:01] I asked him out for a walk and we had a long talk.

[00:13:04] It was a fair while ago, so I can't word for word type what was said,

[00:13:08] but it boiled down to this.

[00:13:10] One, I still love him no matter what.

[00:13:13] Two, he still loves me no matter what.

[00:13:16] Three, he loves Pete no matter what.

[00:13:18] Four, he does not value either of us above the other.

[00:13:21] When he spoke about me leaving him but not leaving Pete,

[00:13:25] he was giving me an out more than anything else.

[00:13:28] Jay would be destroyed if I chose to leave,

[00:13:30] but he didn't want me to stay if I truly didn't want to,

[00:13:33] which is why he didn't beg for me to stay.

[00:13:37] After this talk, we stayed separate for a few more days.

[00:13:40] About seven weeks ago, Jay moved back home and Pete came over for dinner.

[00:13:44] That talk was longer, harder,

[00:13:46] and contained more personal details that I do not want to share here.

[00:13:49] But the points were as follows.

[00:13:52] Jay and Pete have not been together as long as I feared.

[00:13:55] It's about 28 months.

[00:13:57] That's a long ass time, what the hell?

[00:13:59] Not since they were teens.

[00:14:01] Pete truly didn't want me to get hurt,

[00:14:03] and he was the one pushing Jay to be honest with me.

[00:14:07] Pete is gay, but he dated girls in the past.

[00:14:10] Neither of us are attracted to each other and we're not together.

[00:14:14] We're all going to individual and couples and group therapy.

[00:14:17] Couples are each of us as.

[00:14:19] Me and Jay need to work on our marriage and emotions.

[00:14:22] Pete and Jay need to work out the secrecy and talk through their own relationship.

[00:14:26] And Pete and I want to work on working together.

[00:14:29] Something I should have mentioned, but didn't due to the fact that I know how Reddit would react,

[00:14:34] is I am asexual.

[00:14:36] I'm not in any way sexually attracted to my husband or anyone for that matter.

[00:14:41] However, I choose to have sex with him as I know he enjoys it.

[00:14:44] I still have a libido, I just don't feel the need to have sex.

[00:14:49] When I have sex with Jay, rarely, once every two-ish months,

[00:14:52] it isn't a chore, but a more intimate cuddle.

[00:14:55] Jay knows this and has known this for our entire marriage.

[00:14:59] In fact, he was the one who helped me figure out I was asexual.

[00:15:03] If this is hard for you to understand, remember attraction does not equal choices.

[00:15:09] Ace foes will be blocked with no reply.

[00:15:11] Honest questions can be answered.

[00:15:13] So yeah, that's my story.

[00:15:15] I can take further questions in the comments.

[00:15:18] So, Mox says,

[00:15:21] Sorry, I'm a bit confused.

[00:15:22] Are you guys a throuple minus the sex?

[00:15:25] Or did you get back together with Jay and accept he has sex with Pete?

[00:15:28] Also, does that mean you know you don't have to have sex with Jay out of obligation anymore?

[00:15:33] Because he's getting his needs met by Pete.

[00:15:35] OP says, me and Pete are not together.

[00:15:37] I don't know if I will have sex with Jay again.

[00:15:40] This is something I'm working on in therapy.

[00:15:43] When OP was talking about being the breadwinner, I was thinking, is that what Jay is really after here?

[00:15:48] You know, if OP's the breadwinner and taking care of most of the stuff, Jay doesn't want to lose that.

[00:15:53] But, you know, regardless in all of this, it's incredibly messy.

[00:15:56] And I come back once again to the trust issue.

[00:16:00] 28 months.

[00:16:01] This guy's been cheating behind your back.

[00:16:04] Yet, he said he values you both as equals.

[00:16:08] Oh, shit.

[00:16:09] I hate to say it, but it just feels like, you know, it's a disaster waiting to happen.

[00:16:13] And I hope you do realize that, OP, because you deserve better than that.

[00:16:16] It's as simple as that, in my opinion.

[00:16:18] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:16:22] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:16:24] And let's move on to another story.

[00:16:28] Now, our next story is from the Am I the Arsehole.

[00:16:31] Subreddit, not updated yet, from No Mushroom 3470 and says,

[00:16:34] Am I the Arsehole for going to the police immediately when I found out my parents took out debt in my name?

[00:16:42] My parents took out credit cards and loans in my name.

[00:16:45] It was fine when they were paying the bills, but they got behind.

[00:16:49] I didn't have a key to the mailbox, so I never saw the bills or anything.

[00:16:52] I just finished my third year of university and I was going to move out.

[00:16:57] That would require me to get a credit check and stuff.

[00:17:00] My parents freaked out and forbid me from moving out.

[00:17:03] They said it was stupid that I would waste money on moving out when I could save money living at home.

[00:17:08] They didn't like my boyfriends, so I thought that was their issue.

[00:17:11] But I was wrong.

[00:17:13] Long story short, I'm about $60,000 in debt because of them.

[00:17:17] I cannot afford to pay that off.

[00:17:20] I told them that they needed to clear the debt immediately and change the house rules so my boyfriend could spend the night.

[00:17:25] They said that they didn't have the money to pay the debt and I could not strong arm them into changing the rules of their house.

[00:17:32] I called my auntie and asked her if I could please come stay with her for a bit.

[00:17:35] She let me and asked a lot of questions.

[00:17:38] Then she showed me a dozen Reddit posts about parents screwing up their kids' future and kids allowing it.

[00:17:44] I went to the police and reported it.

[00:17:46] My parents got arrested and charged.

[00:17:49] They're furious with me.

[00:17:50] I know they didn't spend the money on me.

[00:17:53] I do not know what they did spend it on.

[00:17:55] I don't care.

[00:17:56] I feel bad for them, but I'm not letting them fuck up my future.

[00:17:59] I'm I, the asshole.

[00:18:03] Man, another set of parents willing to fuck up their children's future.

[00:18:06] I always find that mad that they go down this route, but particular banana says not the asshole.

[00:18:11] It was fine when they were paying the bills.

[00:18:13] No, it wasn't.

[00:18:15] It is identity fraud and it is illegal.

[00:18:17] Put a freeze on your credit and monitor your reports from now on.

[00:18:21] Tell them you're furious with them as well.

[00:18:23] Opal says no, you are not the asshole.

[00:18:26] Your parents committed fraud by taking out debt in your name without your knowledge,

[00:18:30] which has put your financial future at risk.

[00:18:33] Reporting them to the police was necessary to protect yourself from further harm and hold them accountable for their actions.

[00:18:38] You have every right to take legal action and prioritize your own well-being in this situation.

[00:18:44] Liquid Snake says not the asshole OP.

[00:18:46] Not only are you well within your rights to do this,

[00:18:49] but it's imperative for your financial health to report identity theft to the police.

[00:18:54] No matter what your parents or any of your extended family tells you,

[00:18:57] stay the course and make sure that this debt is cleared.

[00:19:00] Yes, that means your parents will go to prison for a long time,

[00:19:03] but that's what they deserve because this is a crime that destroys lives.

[00:19:07] Also, do not under any circumstances make any payments on this debt.

[00:19:11] Doing so will only make it hard for you to get it cleared.

[00:19:15] Good luck, OP.

[00:19:17] I always find it like trying to think of what's going through their heads

[00:19:20] that first time they get a credit card or loan of some sort in their name.

[00:19:27] Are they thinking along the lines,

[00:19:28] oh, don't worry, we'll pay it back and then it snowballs?

[00:19:30] Or are they just thinking, you know, not our problem kind of thing?

[00:19:34] I find that absolutely bizarre.

[00:19:36] Ah, not that I'm excusing it either way.

[00:19:38] Just trying to think of the actual thought process, you know.

[00:19:41] But now, what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:19:45] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:19:48] And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart

[00:19:50] for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:19:52] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:19:56] So thank you so, so much for being involved.

[00:19:58] And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:00] Take care and much love.