I Publicly SHAMED My Wife At Her Workplace When I Discovered Her Affair r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider that like, that subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from HoraceSquash4757 and says, am I the asshole for publicly humiliating my wife at her workplace after discovering her affair? I don't even know where to begin. My wife, Leah, 43, female, and I've been married for 10 years. We have two beautiful children, our five-year-old son and our two-year-old daughter. I thought we were happy, or at least I thought we were trying.

[00:00:47] But four weeks ago, my entire life came crashing down. I, 46, male, started to notice when she was glued to her phone more than usual. Leah has always been private, but this was different. She'd smile at her screen then immediately lock it when I walked into the room. One night after she fell asleep, I couldn't resist and I checked her phone. What I found still makes me sick to my stomach. There were messages with a co-worker, Eric, 48, male,

[00:01:17] going back years. Explicit texts, photos, promises of love, even references to secret trips they had taken while I was at home with the kids, believing she was working late. My heart was racing, my hands trembling. I confronted her the next morning. At first, she denied it, said I was misunderstanding. But when I read her the messages out loud, her face crumbled.

[00:01:41] She admitted it. She said it started four years ago, long before our youngest was born. She tried to justify it. You were distant. We were struggling. But nothing could excuse this.

[00:01:53] I started digging deeper. I followed her to work one day, needing to see it for myself. Sure enough, after a shift, she walked out arm in arm with Eric. They didn't even try to hide it. They got into his car and drove off. I followed them to a restaurant where they sat like a happy couple, laughing, holding hands. It broke me.

[00:02:15] But what shattered me completely was when I learned that they'd built their own life together. They'd been renting an apartment near work, a place where she'd go when she was working overtime.

[00:02:27] I saw them go inside, watching them from my car parking on the streets, a few blocks away. I checked on them for about four nights, and they had the same routine. That's when I snapped. I packed all of her belongings, everything she owned, into the back of my car and drove to her workplace the next morning after spying on them.

[00:02:46] I know I did wrong. When she walked out, I dumped everything right there on the sidewalk in front of her and her co-workers. I told her she wasn't coming home. Since then, I've filed for divorce and am fighting for full custody of the kids. She's begging me to forgive her, saying she doesn't want to lose the family we built. But how can I?

[00:03:08] Friends and family keep asking me if I regret how I handled it, publicly humiliating her, kicking her out without notice. I do. She tore our family apart, and the least she could do is face some accountability. But I can't help but feel like the bad guy for how I acted.

[00:03:24] I had nights where I felt very lonely, and I miss her. Of course, I am also attending therapy sessions to be better for the kids and for myself. All I care about are them. They don't deserve this chaos, and as much as it hurts, I know they are better off with me than someone who could live a life for so long. Am I the arsehole? One of the things that really jumped out to me, and one of the big worries, I guess, you know, it's all just awful for OP.

[00:03:53] And the children's age is a five-year-old son and their two-year-old daughter, and then you said there were messages going back years. So, a minimum of two years, and you have a two-year-old daughter, you know, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but it's concerning, right? And I can't blame OP for the way they acted in that situation. They've been wronged, and they found out all this stuff, and they felt absolutely betrayed.

[00:04:17] Imagine going back and finding all those texts and photos and promises of love and finding out that they've even got like a separate apartment. A whole other life. And I think from the affair partner's perspective as well, like, what the hell is he thinking? Quite happy to share this person with someone else. I'm assuming he knows about the husband. So weird. But Facepalm Forever says the only thing to worry about at this point is a DNA test.

[00:04:43] Snow White says that's the first thing that popped into my head when OP mentioned the length of the affair spanning from before the two-year-old was born. Taylor Maid says your soon-to-be ex had no problem making her affair public. So she has no right to cry about you making the divorce the same. I really hate it when people claim to want to make a relationship work after they were outed in an affair. But they did nothing to stop it while it was ongoing.

[00:05:09] The time for possible forgiveness was when she came to you and admitted she had an affair, ended it, and wanted to make things right with you. Not the arsehole. So sometime later, OP came in with their update and says thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. I wanted to share an update about where things stand now. For those asking how I didn't notice her affair for four years, it's because Leah was always incredibly private.

[00:05:36] She was adamant about boundaries and would shut me down if I asked too many questions. She handled the rents, utilities, and her own expenses. While I covered groceries, the kids' school costs, internet, water, and anything extra. She claimed it was fair since we both worked. And I didn't push because I trusted her and didn't want to create unnecessary conflict. Looking back, I can see how I missed the signs. But at the time, I didn't think questioning her was necessary.

[00:06:03] After finding out about her affair, I had a DNA test done for both kids. My son is biologically mine. But my daughter isn't. That was a tough pill to swallow, but it doesn't change anything for me. I've been her father in every way that matters and I love her like my own. I believe the person who raises a child is their real parent and no court is going to convince me otherwise. Right now, I'm in the middle of the legal process.

[00:06:30] The divorce itself hasn't been finalized yet, but I've made it clear that I'm fighting for full custody of both kids. I've explained to the court why I believe Leah isn't fit to have primary custody. Her betrayal wasn't just a personal one. It shows a complete disregard for the stability and well-being of our family. The court process is slow. And so far, we've only had preliminary hearings. I've provided evidence of her infidelity and the double life she led.

[00:06:57] And I've asked for a full psychological evaluation for both of us to ensure the best decision is made for the kids. I'm also working on showing the court that I've been the primary caregiver emotionally and financially. My lawyer has told me it's a tough battle, especially since the courts often lean towards joint custody. But I'm not backing down. To those who said my story sounded fake, I get it. This is the kind of nightmare you think only happens in movies or to someone else.

[00:07:25] I wouldn't believe it either if I wasn't living it. What I can say is I hope you never go through something like this. It destroys everything you thought you knew about your life. But now, I'm staying focused on my kids and doing everything I can to give them a stable and loving home. They're the only good thing to come out of all of this. And I won't let them down. Thank you for your support. It means more than you know.

[00:07:47] Forward Most says to the OP, I don't understand why she just didn't get a divorce but instead wasted four years of your life and fucked up the kids' lives. She's a selfish person and deserves all the wrath that's heading her way. Stay strong, OP. Ridingist Freedom says she did it because she thought, one, she could get away with it. Two, OP wouldn't leave. Awesome Kids Mom says because she had a capable and loving sitter. She could live her life and still know the kids were good.

[00:08:17] Eddie Boxer says, I went through this not once but twice. Sorry you're going through all this. I know how it feels. I won in both my divorces so I'm glad I fought for custody of my kids. You keep fighting for yours. When they cheated, I dragged them both through the mud in courts and social media. Until this day, I don't feel bad about it. They both got what they deserved. Period. I don't feel bad that you dropped everything off at her workplace and in front of co-workers too. Now at least she knows actions have consequences. Period.

[00:08:48] OP says, I'm really sorry you had to go something like this twice. That's unimaginable. Thank you for your support and for sharing your experience. It helps to know I'm not alone in this. I do have screenshots of the entire conversations from her phone. Years of texts, photos and everything else. I made sure to send them to myself before confronting her. So I have all the proof I need. Sometimes I think about exposing her and him publicly. Putting it all out there so people see what they did.

[00:09:16] But honestly, I'm just so drained. Between work, taking care of my kids and trying to process everything. I barely have the energy to keep going some days. Let alone drag them through the mud. And even when I do feel angry enough to do it. There's part of me that feels guilty. I don't know why. I mean, they're the ones who destroyed everything. But I guess it's because I don't want to stoop to their level. I'm taking things one step at a time and focusing on what's most important. My kids and getting through this divorce.

[00:09:46] Maybe one day I'll feel differently. But for now, I just don't have it in me to make a spectacle out of their betrayal. Even if they deserve it. I feel like I'm stupid for this mindset. And I don't think OP is stupid for that mindset. I wouldn't blame them whatever path they went down. But like we often see in stories that, you know, moving on. Just getting them out of your head because they're not worth your time. Is probably the healthiest mindset for OP.

[00:10:14] Obviously, sometimes dragging people through the mud for their actions can be cathartic. But that doesn't sound like it's the path for OP. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, our next story is from SuchManagement4619. And it does have the briefest of updates. But it's an update nonetheless.

[00:10:41] It's titled, Am I the Arsehole for Not Paying for My Girlfriend's Haircut? Everyone. My girlfriend, 32 female, and I, 38 male, have been together for two years. I lost my job about three months into our relationship. During this time, she really came through for me and helped out a lot. I did not have a car, so she would help me deliver orders on DoorDash or Grubhub so I could pay my bills. She also covered the difference out of her pocket if I was running short.

[00:11:11] To say I'm grateful to her is an understatement. I finally found a new job two months ago. I'm saving up for a car, so she's been letting me borrow hers. She accrued some debt while I was out of her job, and I've repaid about half of that. However, now I'm worried that she's starting to only want me for my money. I got into an argument over the weekend because she called to ask me if she could borrow some money to get a haircut.

[00:11:38] Apparently, she is running short due to an unexpected home repair cost, but already paid the hairdresser a deposit that she would have to forfeit if she rescheduled it. I had a long day at work and was exhausted, both mentally and physically. So when I noticed that my phone was ringing, I was really excited to see her name. But after I answered, she immediately asked me for money. I felt crushed because she did it without even asking me how my day was first.

[00:12:04] I told her that I guess I understand what my new role is in her life now, and she threw a huge fit about it. She claims that she gave me everything for a year and a half, just to keep a roof over my head, and that she's accrued debt from when I wasn't working, so I shouldn't be opposed to doing her a favor. I recently bought her a new set of tires and got the brake pads replaced, as well as gave her some money to repay the debts with.

[00:12:29] I have also paid for the car payment and insurance since I started working because I have it at my place more than she does, while I save up to buy my own. So it's not like I don't contribute to her expenses already. She keeps guilt tripping me because a haircut is a small ass considering everything I've done for you, which feels very controlling. Now she won't talk to me, and I'm scared she's going to break up with me without even hearing me out.

[00:12:55] I hated taking her money when I was jobless, and that I have to use her car now. I didn't want to do it in the first place. Anytime I needed her to pay for something, it was because it was an important expense like my rental power. So the way she's asking for something unnecessary like a haircut just feels like a slap in the face. Am I the asshole? I thought that was going to be some kind of joke when OP said, however now I'm worried that she's starting to only want me for my money.

[00:13:23] It's like bro, she's carried you for over a year and a half. Sounds like she's put herself into debts, giving you everything she has to keep you above water. And now she's found herself in a tough position. You're like, oh no, she only wants me for my money now. And yet you're still using her car, but you claimed you've paid for the car payment, tires and brake pads replaced. Well, you're using the car. You should be.

[00:13:50] This doesn't sound someone like who's grateful for everything they've done for them. But Galactic Opal says you're the asshole. A year and a half she helped pay for all your expenses. And that's good you've paid back half, but to get upset about her wanting for you to pay for a hair appointment because she's short on money, because she's still dealing with her debts because of you is fucking ridiculous. You brought up paying for maintenance and insurance, an actual car payment, but you literally said you use her car more than her. So you should be paying for that.

[00:14:20] Can't believe you have the nerve to say you think she only wants you for your money when you have used her for almost two years. Spirit says the way my eyes rolled at the, I think she wants me for my money when he didn't have money for the longest time. She's trying to have a relationship. OP seems like he'd rather have a sugar mummy. And unless she's getting like a fancy hairdo, a haircut is like $20 to $50. She's right. That's nothing compared to what she's done for him.

[00:14:49] He's literally using her car right now, in the past, in the present. What fucking money does she only want you for OP? You have more entitlement than you have assets. OP replies to that saying, Hey, I don't think it's fair to say I just want a sugar mama when I've never felt good about taking her money in the first place. Run Run Puppets quotes OP saying, I recently bought a car, a new set of tires, and the brake pads got replaced, as well as gave her some money to repay the debts with. Then says,

[00:15:18] You clearly still owe debts that have put a burden on her when she could have dumped your ass and let you cry about it. You think that because things are on the upswing for you, that all the debts are now even. Oh, you helped pay for a car you personally use more than her. Wow. She covered your pathetic ass for a year and a half, and now that she's clearly struggling, you're bitching over a fucking haircut. You suck, man. You're the arsehole, pay for the haircut, and honestly, I hope she breaks up with you. If you don't pay for the haircut,

[00:15:47] I hope she breaks up with you. Rough Cow says, What gets me is OP should be paying for those things on the car. He's using her car because he doesn't have one, so he's putting on the wear and tear. I'm sincerely hoping this is fate, because if not, this person is really obtuse. You're the arsehole, OP. It comes across as if you were just with her for her money, which it sounds like you're still using her. She's not mad because of a haircut. She's mad because she asked for a small favor,

[00:16:15] and you completely shot her down and insulted her. After everything she's done for you, hopefully she smartens up and leaves you. OP replies saying, Well, it's her car. Crocodile says, Info, Have you repaid her in full yet, or are you still making payments for the debt you put her in? OP says, No, I have not. I've repaid about half of it. In the past, I knew a guy in one of the companies I worked at, and he was struggling to get to work. He used to cycle, and in the winter months, you know,

[00:16:44] it just wasn't feasible on the back roads that we had to get to. You could get there, but it'd be particularly dangerous. So, his girlfriend at the time decided to buy him a car to get him to work. Yeah, it wasn't a brand new car or anything, but it must have still cost quite a bit, you know, and there was a group of people chatting away, and he was one of them, and he was complaining about how soon he had to buy new tires for this car. And it was like, he was saying things like, well, she should buy the tires. And people were like, well, no, it's technically your car.

[00:17:14] She's gifted it to you. It's in your name. You accepted it. And he was like, but she should pay for the tire. She bought it for me. I wouldn't have the car if it wasn't for her. It wasn't like she forced the car on him. He accepted the car. He really liked the car, but he didn't think he should have to pay any of the extras because she bought it initially. And no one could get it into him that he should be paying for his own, you know, maintenance on his car and his own fuel, et cetera, because he says that she fills the car up sometimes for him as well. And it's just, dude, you're working.

[00:17:44] You should be budgeting for your own shit. But he just wasn't having any of it. Anyway, he was sacked like about a year after knowing this guy, the company was buying wooden pallets in, you know, to ship things out. And he was stealing them so he could make a garden fence. Dude was wild. I mean, I'm not sure why he was taking those particular pallets. I mean, they were fresh and new, but on the industrial estate that we worked, you could get free pallets from anyone. People were trying to get rid of them, but he decided to take those.

[00:18:13] What a bloody Burke, right? Anyway, as I said, at the very start of this story, we had a very brief update from the OP of that one and said, she didn't talk to me for three days. And then she dumped me. CL skies reply to that saying, you're the arsehole. Also, the update is perfection. Princess says, you're the arsehole. Are you dense? She supported you fully for two years and you couldn't spot her once.

[00:18:43] I feel bad for her. You suck. I mean, the downside to this is that she's probably not going to get a rather half of the money back that he owes her. But I do hope she does get her car back. Which is going to cause some issues for OP, isn't it? But thinking about it, it must be so heartbreaking for that lady at the same time. Don't get me wrong. It's good that she's out of that relationship and it's probably going to take some time for her, you know, to agree with the relationship, et cetera.

[00:19:12] But how sad is it that she's put all this time, energy, love into supporting OP through what he's gone through to help him get back on his feet. And the one time she turns to him for help, he's just like, nope. It just says what, what she was actually worth to him, which is incredibly sad if you think about it. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:19:41] Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved. Truly, it means the world. And I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.