I Left My Husband And Step-Daughter Stranded When He Gave Her MY Special Xmas Gift r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:17] Now, today's first story comes from a deleted user who says, am I the arsehole here? For leaving my husband and step-daughter stranded on Christmas when I found out he gave her my big Christmas gift. My husband, male 41, is the worst at gift giving. We've been together over three years and after the first year of not receiving anything for my birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's, Mother's Day was the last straw after being told I wasn't his mother.

[00:00:45] I decided to start matching energy. Father's Day came and I was gone all day when normally I would have put together a big lunch and dinner and drive 30 to 45 minutes to get his daughter, Anne, now 16, so they could spend the day together. He called me in the afternoon and I was polite but not initiating conversation. He asked me when I was picking up his daughter and I replied that I had plans and wasn't aware that I was supposed to pick her up since nothing was communicated to me. When he responded with, it's Father's Day.

[00:01:15] I used his response back. You are not my father. I had anticipated him getting upset and knew a constructive conversation would not be had so when he started to raise his voice, I told him to check the table and hung up. I had left a letter to him communicating how much I was hurt about going out of my way for him and to not have any sort of reciprocation. He called me later and said he would try to be better and work on it. I ended up going to get his daughter during the week so they could enjoy a dinner together.

[00:01:46] Background info? He drives big rigged trucks so the vehicle we use for everyday travel is mine. He's been better about the gifts. It's more of a go pick something out and I will pay for it, which I really don't mind. He does the same thing with his daughter. I do all the shopping for his family gifts when it comes to birthdays and holidays. Cut to a week before Christmas and I wake up to my favorite coffee drink and my husband taking me out to eat for breakfast, followed by a trip to the mall to pick out my Christmas gift.

[00:02:15] I rarely splurge on myself when it comes to purses and clothes. I have a preteen son from my first marriage so I tend to be more practical on myself and spend on him for his birthday and Christmas. My stepdaughter however is very materialistic and always is asking for money or something expensive and between her father and his family and her money and her family and her stepfather, she always gets it.

[00:02:39] I had been repeatedly saying out loud that I needed a new purse since mine was hanging on by a thread and I decided to invest in a good designer handbag. I started saving money and looking online for my new dream purse. So imagine my surprise and excitement when we get to the department store and I see they have my dream purse in stock. My husband sort of gave a look when he saw the price and I told him I could contribute and explain how I'd been saving so I could save enough to get this purse that I had been dreaming about for months.

[00:03:09] He shook his head and said I deserved it and he would get it for me but also gave me the expectation that since he was getting me this, he really couldn't afford to get me anything else. I screamed with delight and told him that was okay. I didn't need anything else. With that taken care of, my husband asked me if it was okay to go get his daughter and take her Christmas shopping. I had tons to do at home in preparation for the holiday so this worked out so I could have the empty house to get what I needed done.

[00:03:37] I was reaching to get my new purse when we arrived home and he said for me to leave it because he had another gift he had previously purchased for me. That he was going to put inside the purse for me to open on Christmas. I was on cloud 9 so I kissed him and left my bag and went inside. I was still busy cleaning and decorating when he got home later that night and the rest of the days before Christmas were all a blur with me trying to get my house ready for the holiday.

[00:04:03] I hosted Christmas Eve at my house with my family and Christmas Day I slept in tired from the night before and woke up with enough time to brush my teeth before we headed out to go get his daughter then drive to spend the day at his mother's house. I fell asleep on the drive and woke up after his daughter was picked up and we were already en route to his mom's. I turned around to greet his daughter and that's when I saw her rummaging and holding my new purse. Where did you get that purse? I asked her and the car fell completely silent.

[00:04:32] I looked at my husband and he stayed silent with both his hands on the wheel looking straight ahead. I asked her again this time in a louder more stern tone. She looked down and quietly mumbled. My dad gave it to me. You what? I screamed. How would you think this is okay to give her my new purse? He told me to calm down and I cut him off and screamed no and then turned back to his daughter and told her that her father had no right to give her my purse and that she needed to give it back to which she refused.

[00:05:00] I could feel my anger raging then subsiding to a feeling of sadness and complete defeat. I put my coat over my head and leaned against the window trying to cover my face and mouth as tears started running down my cheeks. My husband pulled over at the next gas station and his daughter bolted out taking the purse with her. He tried to comfort me to which I slapped his hand away and told him not to touch me and gave him a look of disgust.

[00:05:25] He informed me that after he dropped me off that day, he picked up his daughter and took her shopping and on the way taking her home she noticed the bag and saw the purse. She begged and pleaded with him to please let her have it. She reminded him about all the times he never got her a gift and how giving her this purse would make up for it and that played on his heart and he finally caved and gave him my purse. He tried to say he was going to make it up to me and I asked him how knowing it was impossible.

[00:05:52] He already spent his money and made it clear that he wasn't going to have money to buy me anything else. I couldn't help but get upset as I tried to get him to understand how hurt I felt and how it's not like she was suffering with her getting to open presents from her mother and stepfather plus gifts from their family along with the gifts she was going to get from his family. And that he already spent money on her for her Christmas presents and that was my one gift.

[00:06:15] I know Christmas is not about getting presents but I was extremely upset that my husband could be so thoughtless and not consider the amount of pain this was going to cause me. His phone rang and it was his daughter calling from inside asking him to come inside because she needed money to buy something. As he was walking into the store I looked back and tears began to fill my eyes as I saw all the gifts I picked out for his family with care.

[00:06:39] Something came over me and I stopped crying and got out and got in the driver's seat and wiped my face and peeled out of the gas station parking lot leaving my husband and stepdaughter behind. I turned my phone off and drove back to town and spent the day with my family at my cousin's house and stayed with them not returning any of my husband's phone calls and not returning home until late the following day.

[00:07:01] The only phone call I did return was the one from my stepdaughter's mother to set her straight after she left me a hateful message about leaving her daughter stranded because I was jealous her father bought her a new purse. I told her she'd been told a lie and informed her of the truth. That's in fact her father did not buy her a new purse. He bought me a new purse and she played on her father's emotions after he had already bought her expensive items from her Christmas list to guilt him to giving her my purse.

[00:07:28] She apologized and tried to come up with a solution to which I replied for her not to bother. The damage has been done. I found out through my sister-in-law that my husband's brother went to go get them and the story came out later that evening. His mother is on his side while his brother and sister-in-law and other aunts and uncles sided with me and got on to his daughter. I haven't spoken to his daughter since Christmas and things are unsettling at home. I've been more distant from my husband and when I make dinner I don't serve him a plate.

[00:07:57] I serve only my son and myself and I only engage in conversation with my son. He's tried to reach for me at night when we're in bed and I always end up crying. I'm now not angry or mad I just feel nothingness. He's back on the road and I do miss him but I can't shake the feeling of how he let me down and I cannot hide my looks of disappointment. Looking to see what others have to say about the situation. It just feels like one of those stories like as always it's not about insert item that the title's about.

[00:08:26] It's much deeper than that. It's your husband's pattern of seeming to take OP for granted. Lenor's daughter manipulates him from the 45 minute drives. Expecting you to pick his daughter up 45 minutes away without asking and giving away your special gift. Which he said himself that you deserved it. And the silence in the car was pretty telling wasn't it? That he knew he fucked up. He knew this storm was coming and was trying to hide it from you until the last moment basically.

[00:08:54] And no one showed any real remorse for it. And it just felt to me as I was reading it like what's in this marriage for you? It just like when you said there was nothingness. I totally get that. It just feels like unless there's some huge significant change which I can't see happening. That you're always going to be a lower priority in your marriage. But commenter says but why are you in this marriage? You don't matter to your husband. Period. Period.

[00:09:20] Another commenter says she's doing so much to make it easier for her husband to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. She's literally begged him. If he isn't doing it by now he never will. She deserves so much better. Another commenter says same. Immediate divorce. No counseling etc. He doesn't care about his wife at all. And has been using her as a bang maid all this time. Another commenter says the way he has continually ignored you on all major events and milestones. And then gave away your first actual gift.

[00:09:48] That you had to choose and partially paid for is appalling. Not the arsehole. Another commenter says take your son and go back to your family. Yes it will be hard but it won't be as hard as staying in a relationship where you don't matter. Your husband slapped you in the face on Christmas. What did you think was going to happen when you arrived at your destination and the presents were given out and there was nothing for you? Don't get over it. Get over him. Does he even want a wife? He doesn't sound like he cares for you at all.

[00:10:16] Another commenter says not the arsehole. He gave away your gift without asking and used guilt to justify it. That's a major betrayal. It's not about the purse. It's about feeling unheard and disrespected. You have every right to stand your ground and take space. So OP comes in with their update about a month later and says, I'd updated on my original post but I don't think it's put back out so readers can view it. I figured it was easier to start a new post with my update. And wow, I did not expect this to blow up like it did.

[00:10:45] Thank you to everyone who reached out. I meant to come back and update sooner. My apologies. I wanted to clear up things and defend myself on not being as pathetic as some made me out to be. 1. I did not pay for the purse. I offered but he paid the full amount. 2. He technically pays for the gifts for his family for Christmas. We have an account that he puts money on and this is what's used to pay the bills and other expenses along with gifts for his family for birthdays and other special occasions.

[00:11:12] I'm the one who actually shops for the gifts and I make it personal for each person and do all the wrapping and such and add on from my budget what I feel is needed. 3. This has gotten a raise when I was first posting trying to edit but it is a key factor. When I confronted my stepdaughter about returning the purse, she wasn't saying anything. She was refusing by shaking her head no and her father yelled her name and that is when she dropped the bomb on us that she had already written her name on it. She wrote her name in big black permanent marker on the inside of the purse

[00:11:41] so that is where my rage just turned into defeat because the purse became worthless to me. Hence, me getting emotional. 4. For people questioning on why react now when I have known about him not giving gifts from early on in the relationship. After attending family events with him, I noticed right away he never had a gift to give. So when it came to my birthday or valentine's day or any special occasion, I would take the initiative to drive us to wherever I wanted my gift so he could purchase it.

[00:12:10] As we got more serious, my gifts became trips that I planned and he paid for. So this wasn't going to be my first time getting a gift but it was going to be my first time having an actual gift under the tree. 5. I introduced one of my really good friends to his brother and she is now my sister-in-law and my ally and my source. We met for lunch a week after the new year to exchange gifts. She informed me that they arrived at his mum's. My husband didn't want to talk about what happened.

[00:12:37] My stepdaughter likes to show off her gifts as most teenagers do and why they were gathered on the table. Trying to talk to my husband, she approached and was interrupting and trying to get everyone's attention on her and a new purse and other gifts. Sister-in-law said the table fell silent and there were looks between family members and then chaos. Yelling about how my husband arrived empty-handed and aunts and uncles were yelling at him asking how he could get his daughter such an expensive purse and not get his mother anything.

[00:13:05] That's when he broke and loudly responded. He didn't get his daughter the purse. He got me the purse. His daughter just took the purse. His daughter got upset for being outed and reprimanded by other family members and called her mum to get her. Six. By the time her mother arrived, had already spoken to her about what happened. She went inside to talk to her father because the story she was getting from her daughter was obviously different. It was basically the same story. He took her shopping and on the way back, she saw the department store bag and looked inside

[00:13:35] and saw the purse, started begging for it and then started to guilt trip him to give it to her. He told her no and spoke to her about being ungrateful and selfish. She then tried to get him to take her to her friend's house instead of home which caused another argument because she is grounded due to failing classes and she knows that she's not allowed to go anywhere. At drop off, she just grabbed her bags and exited the car and slamming the door. When he got back to the house, he reached behind the seat to get the bag and noticed it was empty and realized she took the purse anyway.

[00:14:05] He called her but she didn't answer and he left a message saying she better be ready to give up the purse on Christmas. 7. Her mother had called him and yelled at him for getting her such an expensive purse when she is failing classes and instead of explaining what happened, he just responded that she had no idea what she was talking about and hung up the phone. Her writing her name in the purse was a shock to him and that's what caused him to pull over at the next gas station. He didn't want me more upset with her so opted not to tell me that she stole it and just took blame.

[00:14:35] 8. The other gift he was going to put in the purse Lingerie It was in a small gift bag on my side of the bed. He was upset when I sent our pitbull Chico downstairs wearing a red nightie. Some comments had the misconception that the purse was going to be the first gift he'd ever gave me and I wanted to clarify that is not true. I posted about him not getting me a gift on my birthday and Christmas and other occasions. This occurred our first year of marriage. I planned a dinner for my birthday that included my parents and my siblings,

[00:15:05] close friends and family. My husband arrived empty handed and over an hour and a half late due to him staying late at work. I kept quiet because I didn't want a scene and have more attention drawn to him about not getting me anything and being so late. This is the same reason I cut him off when he looked around at my gifts and flowers from my guests and started saying Man, I feel so bad for not getting you. Dot dot dot. Spot祝 sorts of a gift about accepting myTell

[00:15:35] and my husband my husband had on my wish list so we could go and get it. On our first anniversary, set up a table outside with candles and hung out white lights and was preparing beef wellington that had a bottle of champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. I woke up to him saying Happy Anniversary and kissing him and told him I have a surprise planned for later called me when he should have already been home stating that he picked up an extra load and was excited about how much extra the pay was going to be.

[00:16:04] We used the extra pay from this and from other extra loads he picked up that coincidentally coincided with special occasions and holidays to go to Hawaii. It wasn't until I stopped planning something for him for Father's Day that he started making an effort on getting gifts ahead of time and remembering special occasions. When my husband got home from being on the road, he took my son and I to eat at a steakhouse and handed each of us a gift bag. Inside were brand new AirPods. At first my son was confused because he didn't have an iPhone.

[00:16:33] Then came the second surprise. That after we finished eating, we were heading to AT&T to get us both new phones. I haven't really spoken to his daughter but was told that her failing classes and sneaking out has caused a strain on her relationship with her mother. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy and I'm not a doormat. And my husband is not a heartless monster. I'm in a much better frame of mind now than I was then. Thank you for taking the time to hear me. And the comments on this were not happy.

[00:17:03] They started off so after all that, does the thieving little madam still have the purse? Because if so, what lesson has she learned? Nothing. Nada. The other commenter says, I'd have taken scissors to it. There is no way she would still have it. The other commenter says, did he get you another purse? I don't know about his makeup gift. Was that really what you wanted? Another commenter says, sorry, but you have to agree to disagree. You are a doormat and until that changes, you'll forever be a doormat.

[00:17:33] And the last commenter says, so basically she's a thief and you're all enabling her. And the account was deleted after that. So we're very unlikely to see another update from that. It seems like things have just moved on. And I have to agree with those comments that, you know, there was no lesson learned. And it just feels like one of those situations that is going to end very badly. As much of a turd the daughter is, they're doing her a total disservice by allowing her to continue the way that she's continuing.

[00:18:02] But bloody hell, I'm going to need another story after that one. So follow me guys. Let's go over to the today I fucked up subreddit from jboogie07. And it says today I fucked up by not knowing Rachel Ray had a dog food line. And if you're unaware like me, apparently Rachel Ray is an American cook, television personality, a businesswoman and an author. Opie says, long story short, I was at my local Dollar General and saw a crate full of discounted canned goods.

[00:18:30] Like 30 cents a can. The flavor sounded awesome. And I was like, hell yeah. Rachel surely knows how to dish up some good food. I always take my food to work to save money. Fast forward, it's the middle of the day and I'm eating the Rachel Ray chicken and veggies. So proud of myself for eating lunch for 30 cents. A co-worker comes into my office and freaks out and asks why I'm eating dog food. I had no idea and started throwing up.

[00:18:59] Now I have to go to work every day while everyone makes fun of me for eating dog food and being stupid. Apparently I have to just keep typing for the mods, but that's the end of the story. I threw away all the other cans, especially the beef and cheese, which unfortunately I was looking forward to. I can always remember my brother doing something like this when I was younger, but he knew it was dog food. I can just remember him stood in the kitchen with a can of dog food. Just spooning a bunch out and just eating it.

[00:19:27] I'm not sure why that memory sticks with me. But what do you guys make of that one? You ever try dog food yourself? Let's know your thoughts. And let's have another story from the Today I Messed Up subreddit. They're so random sometimes. This is going to be another random one. This is from Dumpster Puff who says, Today I fucked up by not telling my doctor how many Tic Tacs I eat per day. So I'm absolutely fucking obsessed with the fruit adventure flavor of Tic Tacs.

[00:19:54] The flavor combined with the soft smush they make between your teeth when you chew them makes my brain very happy. I've been buying them in bulk where each container has 200 candies each. And they come in bulk packs of 12 containers. I tend to eat them by the handful while I'm working or gaming. So in a day I can easily slam through one to two containers. Now keep in mind that on the nutrition label it says the serving size is one candy. And it's listed as having zero calories.

[00:20:23] Which I thought was awesome because I could have as many as I want. Over the past year I found that I gained about 40 pounds. And nothing about my eating habits has changed as far as I was aware. I told my doctor about it and she was a bit worried. So she had me do a bunch of blood work to see if there was a reason why I gained so much weight in a short period of time. Everything came back normal. She referred me to see a weight loss doctor who would also have me see a dietician. I've been working with a dietician for a few months now.

[00:20:53] And we have me keep a food log. I had a virtual visit with her today and during it I was fiddling around with an empty container to keep my hands busy. She saw it and asked where I got such a large container from. So I told her about it and how I eat one to two of those per day. She asked why those weren't on my food tracker. And I said it was because they're zero calories so they wouldn't count. Apparently I was very, very wrong about this.

[00:21:19] She explained to me that food companies can label something as being zero calories if the food serving size contains five or less calories. In reality, each individual Tic Tac actually is about two calories. So essentially, since each container has 200 pieces and I typically have one to two of those, I've been eating 400 to 800 plus calories per day of Tic Tacs. In addition to all the other food I've been eating, which is very likely why I've gained so much weight. Edits.

[00:21:48] I just want to clarify that I'm aware that sugar will in fact make you gain weight. I'm not that stupid. But I never actually read the product ingredients. I assume they must have been made with something like xylitol or some other artificial sweetener to make them zero calories. So it never crossed my mind to check. Edit two. Dang, you're a brutal. But at least some good came out of it. Since apparently, like me, a lot of people didn't realize about the less than five calories per serving rule can legally be classified as zero in the US.

[00:22:17] Personally, I wish they would have the model they do in other countries where they list calories per X amount of grams. Edit three. My teeth are fine. I actually had a dentist appointment two weeks ago. No cavities or decay. Gums are healthy. Despite my candy habit, I do take good care of my teeth. The commoner said to OP on this one, I just finished the diploma in a medical field. We were warned about people like you, OP. I wish I was joking. Oh, bless OP.

[00:22:45] I didn't realize they do big packs of 200 size Tic Tacs though. They do that in the UK. The ones that I've generally seen, they only look like they got about 30 in there. Another thing about Tic Tacs I absolutely love, like when you get the mint ones and you open it. What is that smell? That's not a mint smell, is it? It's going to sound really weird, but I used to just get them just to open the lid and smell them. Because there was something in there that just smelled so good. As I said, it wasn't the mint. It was some other flavor.

[00:23:14] But what do you guys make of this situation? I mean, there aren't much to say about it really, is there? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care. And much love. Wake up.

[00:23:46] Brush my eyes.