I Lashed Out At My Ex When He Said "My Baby" To MY CHILD r/Relationships

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[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's not my baby's father. I female 34 had been with my husband for over 12 years

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: We had our child when I was 31 and my husband 33

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Sadly, recently one and a half years ago when my baby was around 2

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband, the love of my life, died in a tragic accident

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: KELUSD RIVA HIT HIRS ON A Foggy Slippery Road

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: He died instantly in a crash

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: His death left me in shambles

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Only thing that kept me at least sane was our daughter

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't believe that I lost him. He was my rock, my light, and I loved him dearly

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: In a way, I still cannot believe that he's gone

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: That's why my ex comes in

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00]: In about a year after my husband's accident, he reached out to talk to me, to vent maybe

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_00]: We separated a long time ago, a couple years before I've met my husband

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't exactly stay friends, but we're on good terms and spoken occasionally

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, how are you kind of talk?

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So he reached out and offered to help as a friend

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: It was unexpected but I accepted because I really needed a friend

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And frankly, I didn't have a lot of close friends besides him

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: The occasion he came over to our place

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: For some guests to my daughter and we talked over tea or a beer

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't intimate

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: He had several casual relationships over the years

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: And I clearly told him that I'm not ready for any relationships after my husband

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Still not ready, I guess

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So he came over once or twice a month

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: He was very sweet with my daughter

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't see anything wrong with them bonding

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: But then my baby started calling my ex Papa

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: It annoyed me very much but I didn't say anything

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Because she's a toddler

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I was she's supposed to know any better

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried gently explaining to her that my ex isn't Papa

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00]: But I doubt she understood

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I just started sending her to my or my husband's mum

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: When my ex came over

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: In truth, I know our baby won't remember her father

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Photos is all she'll have of him

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want another man to take his place in her eyes

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: So everything was normal again

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I noticed that my ex was visibly upset

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00]: When I told him that my daughter isn't home

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't think much of it

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And last time is where I snapped

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I might be the asshole

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Because I ended up screaming at my ex and probably should have handled it better

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: So when he was at our house and we played some video games

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And had a couple of beers

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: My mother brought my daughter home early

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_00]: She was very grumpy and wanted to go home

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: He stood up and told my daughter

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Here's my baby

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I missed you and reached the hugger

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I snapped at him

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I told him angrily that he's in fact not her father

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And that she is my husband's baby

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna never be his baby no matter how much he wants

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And if he wants to have a child

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He's still has plenty of chances with his girlfriend

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me I was a real asshole for saying such cruel things and left

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: My mother told me that I was kind of an asshole too

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And I acted like a child

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: So am I?

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Now as always, bread at rainers talking to me here

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And saying like, it feels like it's some sort of plan

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: To try and get back with you in some way

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And has he been encouraging this papa talk

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_00]: There may be a chance this is gonna go totally the other way

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, he was literally just trying to be helpful

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: But I can't help but be concerned that suddenly this ex comes out of nowhere

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: When OP unfortunately lost their husband

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Saying stuff to your kid like, here's your baby

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Which I know OP called out

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: But so there were some random comments from people when OP responding

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: First one says no one's an asshole here

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I think you took some unresolved trauma out on him

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: And also that him calling your kid his baby was pretty clueless

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_00]: He presumably will not be her father

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He's more of an uncle if we want to use family terms at all

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I think he should apologize even though he was also wrong

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Assuming you want to be friends and have him in your kid's life

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully you will understand that it is a sore subject for you right now

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And part of it will obviously be a sore subject forever

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says thank you

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I think you are right

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Still take everything concerning my husband's heart

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And my ex's words hit very close to home

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I was wrong in what I said to him

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: But I was wrong in the way I said it

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: After thinking about it for some time

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I think I do want him in my and my daughter's life

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: He's a very good friend and very supportive

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Especially in my time of need

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: So I shouldn't have lashed out at him

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I think I'll try calling him to apologize and communicate my issues clearly

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he didn't even mean anything by his words

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And just loves my baby and express it a bit clumsily

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: But I admit his words really triggered me in the moment

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Another comment is says no one's an asshole here

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He was still heavily grieving the loss of your husband

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: You should in my opinion apologize to him and explain your thoughts

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: You can accept the apology or not

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: If you are not currently in therapy you should really consider it

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I have a friend who sons dad passed away when he was three

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Same thing

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Only pictures and basically no memories

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're disponsing thank you for your advice

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I believe you're right

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I should apologize and explain my feelings to him clearly

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't express my concerns earlier and that exploded unnecessarily

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I should set him clear boundaries with him, explain them to the hurting

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And don't want him to call my daughter his baby in any way

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: If you okay with it, I'll be great if not

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And I won't have a choice then to stop speaking to him from my own sake

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently in therapy this helpful but it's a long process

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And sincerely sorry if your friend and her son

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Another comment is says to a piece since you have a baby

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: You'll need to enact clear boundaries with him

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's possible that given you two's romantic history

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't realise he's crossing lines

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00]: But once you let these boundaries be known, it's at the him to follow them and you to enforce them

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't let him bully you

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_00]: You're the mum and dad to your baby

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00]: It says you're right, my first priority is my baby's well-being

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And although some of my relatives say the child needs a father figure

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a load of BS

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: If I meet a nice man at least as great as my husband and maybe

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: But it should be on my terms and not forced on both me and my baby

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00]: From what I said, if the only came back into your life because of the baby

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I think there's something going on here

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: There are tons of bad people out there who insinuate themselves

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And the single mum's lives who get access to the kids

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Protect your daughter, you don't need your ex

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00]: You dumped him for a reason already

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: OPC says I'm not really sure if he has some ulterior motive about my baby

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he's too projecting some unresolved issues

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe not

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: He's generally a good person and a good friend

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But you are right, he was a terrible boyfriend

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00]: We were young and our relations it was clearly toxic

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: But we've later talked and decided that we're much better friends and lovers

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: But it is clear to me now after hosting and thinking about the matter

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: That firstly, I should apologise for yelling

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Secondly, set some clear boundaries about him and my baby

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: If he weren't accept that, at his right but he won't speak any more than

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: The comment has said, not the asshole

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And this seems to be some play on his part to get back with you

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And as extended to creating a relationship with your daughter

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: OPC says I don't think he wants to get back with me

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm not completely sure

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We did break up for a reason

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: We were young and stupid in our relationship was completely toxic

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: He's a good friend though

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes after the breakup which was surprisingly calm

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked and decided to stay in touch

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00]: We weren't close friends but we were friendly

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: There was very supportive after my husband's death and helped me a lot

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I won't deny there's a bit of nostalgia about the times we were together

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's more of a running joke now

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: We can say, do you remember when we were together so and so happened and we laugh

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I in fact do not want him as a partner

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_00]: He's a terrible boy friend and judging by his demeanor with his numerous girlfriends

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: That didn't change

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Initially didn't express any interest in having children

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: But maybe he's projecting some of his own issues onto my daughter

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_00]: The comment says

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Paul situation is bizarre to me

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand why you allow your ex this much access to your kid

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I understand needing this support but the situation is suspicious as fuck to me

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: In general, not the asshole

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're response ends. Thank you for your input

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You are right

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I believe I was wrong for introducing them at all

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I was a wreck and needed support

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but my priorities should be my child

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: First year after my husband died

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people came over to offer condolences and some help

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: My and my husband's family

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: My daughter was always by my side

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to call my husband's brother, Hapa

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: But they look so much alike that it is understandable

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And I kind of misdefect that my ex's visits and guests can be a problem

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I was too late to understand that I need to set clear boundaries

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And it is inappropriate for them

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Bond if I don't want any relationship besides friendship with my ex

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: An opiats are common on the term paper and says

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your input

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't mention in my post but we are European and the term Papa

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Is actually more common here

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it wasn't even his intention and he did it subconsciously

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I was in the wrong discreem in jail

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_00]: But we definitely needed to set some clear boundaries

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: That this friendship is gonna last

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00]: So an opi came in with a rap day and says update

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: First, I want to say thank you for everyone who offered condolences

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Advising criticisms

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate it very much

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I think a little context and explanation is due

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I had a really tight friend group

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Use your hung out at our place because they're sort of a playroom

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: With PS5, good PC, VR, board games and a D&D table

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But big fans of gaming in many ways

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Sadly our friends moved to different countries over the years one by one

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And after my husband died I was left with only one friend from the group nearby

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_00]: That she's a young mother too and we can't hang out like before

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00]: We still speak but it's not been the same

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted some familiarity with my ex appeared

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I was vulnerable and allowed things to escalate too much

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I was desperately wanting to have a friend who shares some of their interests with me and my husband

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I was blind at some red flags in my own wrong choices

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Also I never left my ex alone with my daughter for more than a couple of minutes

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I was wronged when you'd use them in the first place

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, three updates itself

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday evening my ex came by unannounced and uninvited

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I was a little worried but thankfully my husband's brother and his wife was at our house for their kids on a play date

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked him to watch over their kids for some time and went to talk with my ex outside

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: He was drunk

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, lot

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He started talking and he said a lot

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And in that shell he said that he will always care about me

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: That he suppressed some feelings for all his 15 years

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And just realized that he was a fool to let me go

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I admit, I do care about him too but not even remotely in a way I care about my husband

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So I was a fool to hope we can be friends and have a civil relationship without any implications

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I talked started getting heated and we argued

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of accusations were thrown

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_00]: My brother and lawyer came out of the house and wore our big, overprotective dog with him

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I quickly apologized to my ex for leading him on and pulled him to move on

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I was not asked him to leave and never return

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I was a bit worried that things can get violent but left without any protest

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Later posted a long and vague post about being hurt and that love is shit and he's better off alone

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And tagged me and several of his other exes

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Not sure how his girlfriend may react to that but it doesn't really matter anymore

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I blocked him everywhere and hope you wouldn't appear in our lives anymore

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Also all that date my security system as soon as possible just in case

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so creepy behavior man

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Clearly trying to take advantage of someone who was in a vulnerable position

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Already having a girlfriend himself at the same time

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And then that weird ask message on social media about how he's hurt

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And he's better off being alone and tagging like all his exes in it

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_00]: He's got to go friend

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I do just properly give him me the egg but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And let's move on to another story

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, our next story comes from least counter 6573

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_00]: It does come on and update as well

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_00]: It's titled I'm Ilya Sol here

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But telling my wife I would rather her sister living our house than her

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I 35 male and my wife 35 female

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been married for six years

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Some background several months ago my wife gave birth to our daughter

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I call her Sadie

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Ever since my wife gave birth she's been getting increasingly rude and refuses to do any work around the house

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And says she's still healing from giving birth

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Even though she always goes out with her friends

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Three months ago my wife steps his sister Hannah 25 female

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00]: All my wife and asked her if she could temporarily move in with us

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00]: She lived in a crappy apartment building and tenants recently had to leave due to unsafe conditions

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't have enough to get another place right away

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Hence her asking

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife seemed very eager to let Hannah move in despite always claiming they never get along

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_00]: They came to the agreement that she would help with Sadie in exchange for staying with us rent free

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_00]: So she could save it for the deposit on a proper apartment

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Everything was fine at first

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Anna has a ADHD and the quick to adjust a living with us

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_00]: During that week she did all the chores

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife has been neglecting without Sadie and her two

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to tell her she didn't have to do all of them but my wife waved me off and said

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Hannah's ADHD makes her want to do it

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Hannah backed her up

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00]: After she cleaned something my wife would thank Hannah a lot

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I thanked her as well, but my wife did it constantly

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Which seems strange to me

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife dismissed my questions and said it was normal to do with people with ADHD

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Since then my wife has pushed all child care in any household chores

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't do on to Hannah

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_00]: She's also been increasingly rude to Hannah

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And yet I know her if she makes mistakes on the first try of doing something

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to intervene when I was home

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_00]: But my wife would accuse me of wanting to let Hannah lay around the house being lazy

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Because she was which looks to be the art slur word

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: She and I got into a huge fight about her using that word to describe Hannah

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And didn't speak for a few days

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_00]: My breaking point came when I found out my wife had been making Hannah pay a rent

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And by baby supplies

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I paid all the bills and the money Hannah had been given my wife

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Was not going towards the house

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife was using it to go out with her friends

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife also made Hannah pay for food

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I usually give my wife the money for food and she brought snacks for herself with Hannah's contribution

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And another fight with my wife where she said Hannah was lazy

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And if she didn't like her rules and Hannah could sleep on the street and get out of her house

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00]: That's when I told my wife it's my house

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_00]: And she doesn't pay any bills and at this point doesn't do anything

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_00]: But be as lazy as she accuses Hannah of being

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I would rather live with Hannah

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_00]: My wife got quiet and had been refusing to talk to me or Hannah for the past few days

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm stunned to think I'd cross the line

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm eye the asshole here

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00]: It's too early I have no romantic or sexual feelings for Hannah

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if I did Hannah is a lesbian

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And even if she weren't, I would not take advantage of her by making a move on her while she dependent on me for housing

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Please stop with the comments suggesting I'm Mary Hannah

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It is too, she was cleared for PPD a few months ago

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: But due to the comments I'll be discussing how an ass greened again

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Lex says not the asshole your wife is stealing from you and Hannah

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_00]: It shows a dishonest character and people don't tend to be dishonest in only one aspect of their life

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're like if you start poking around, you're going to find out a lot of surprises about your wife

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_00]: My T-Safir says, do you understand what a huge red flag it is that your wife lied to you and Hannah

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_00]: When she took Hannah's money and kept it for herself like huge

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_00]: They wonder they never got along

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_00]: That's because your wife is a twat

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently she is totally comfortable lying to your face and Hannah

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And she has no problem pretending not to be married

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You should grant her that wish

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: She says, your wife is neither a stay-home wife nor a stay-home mum

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_00]: She isn't even staying at home as she's always off out with her friends

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_00]: It's absolutely brilliant that Hannah is so happy to look after Sadie and do the housework

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00]: And you need to tell your wife how pleased you are with this new arrangement

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_00]: As you know, have a living nanny slash housekeeper

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: And your wife who clearly was in content with her stay-at-home lifestyle

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Can now go out and get a full-time job to pay Hannah for her work

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Now have extra money for herself

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure she'll be absolutely thrilled with the suggestion

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Just be sure to think of making it all possible

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_00]: By sitting on her backside while Hannah took over all of her responsibilities

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Free a time-up

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_00]: So she can contribute financially to the household

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Extreme says your wife is an abusive creep

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Is also projecting her own shortcomings and insecurities on to Hannah

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Also, are you sure Hannah has ADHD and not OCD?

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Most of us with ADHD have a hard time being organised and cleaning

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I can clean as in over the top

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Dermaphob cleaned the entire house but I'm horribly disorganised, distracted

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And we'll let things get cluttered

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: But at least the house is deplened

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, perhaps with others with ADHD can chime in

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they are driven to clean because of it

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Regardless your wife is using Hannah, she's cruel and I don't think this is solely post-part and depression

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: It feels like something else is going on

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you can get it all sorted

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Around two months later, OPE comes in with her updates

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00]: As apologies for waiting so long to update

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I was attempting to resolve the issue with my wife and Hannah

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her I had with my wife was not productive

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned having a check again for PPD and she refused

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_00]: She also refused to see a marriage counselor with me

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I pressed the issue of her being checked with PPD and told her

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_00]: If she didn't then I'd be moving forward assuming her attitude was completely her own doing

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_00]: There was no underlying cause and if I did that our marriage wouldn't survive

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it was the wrong way to go about it

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: But I saw no other way to convince her

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And she still refused

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I honestly do not believe she has PPD in

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_00]: This is just her based on her actions following the talk

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_00]: After our conversations, she proceeded to purposefully called Messes

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And yelled at Hannah Moroften

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't sit back this time however, and I defended Hannah

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: After a week of this, I told my wife to move out

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: She'd become an unrecognizable terror

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00]: She went to stay with a friend and has been refusing to see Sadie to punish me

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00]: She's also been message me to tell me when Sadie was old enough

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_00]: She would ensure I'd all know about the way I treated her

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel as if she shouldn't be welcomed without her sister

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But I assured her that wasn't the case

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Also, to those who said my wife was cheating on me

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You were unfortunately correct

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_00]: A few days ago, I told my wife I wanted a divorce

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And she completely blew up on me before informing me that

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: She would be going for full custody

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Because she'd been cheating on me for the entire time we've been together

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: And she's positive, Sadie isn't mine

[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot accurately describe what I'm feeling

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Or what's going to happen in the future

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm terrified

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She's going to take my daughter away from me

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And care if she isn't biologically mine

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Sadie is my daughter and I love her

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking for a lawyer and hopefully get some advice on how to keep my daughter

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on a birth certificate, so I'm hoping that means legally she's mine or a godless of paternity

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry if this was a bit all over the place

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still dealing with a fallout of everything

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_00]: But thought I would update you all

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Go in this unabedinotive that matters to you all

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was agreed to continue living here to help look after Sadie regardless of her future ability to rent an apartment

[00:20:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Currently we're looking into some kind of employment agreement where

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00]: She'll basically be a living manny for Sadie

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This was Hannah's idea when I brought up compensating her for the extra work she's done so far

[00:21:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I'll update again, so this is it as far as I'm aware

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And as you can imagine the comments after this one were pretty much just saying

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Lawyer up and if you live in an adult state, the wife's cheating will go against her

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And not that is going to change the background

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Or would have liked to have heard a bit more about their history

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Because it just seems like that's just such a switch in behavior

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And obviously there was people talking about the PPD with that sort of stuff

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Or she always been like this and is only just let it out since baby came around

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Ah so it's so incredibly sad that

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And hopefully I know this is going to sound awful to say in the same time

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope she's just saying that about Sadie

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Just a pisso payoff because the alternative is just devastating

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_00]: And appropriate at the same time isn't it incredibly sad anyway

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting them bold into these stories

[00:22:07] [SPEAKER_00]: You'll love, you'll support your time always means the absolute world to me

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Take care

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And much love