I Know My Friends SECRET And It Will Blow Up His Friends Wedding | r/TrueOffMyChest

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from OwnRevolution5113 from the OffMyChest subreddit. And it says, My friend has a secret that could blow up our entire friend group.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00] Okay, so I, 27 female, have to give a bit of background on our friend group to illustrate the gravity of this situation. I'm in a friend group of about 8 people, which was essentially founded by these two guys. Mark, 28 male, and Jay, 29 male. Mark is single but Jay has a fiance. Ali, 36 female that he's getting married to next summer. Nobody else is really relevant. Mark and Jay have been best friends for years.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00] I think they're coming up on like 22. They were neighbors, went to the same schools and got into the same college, so they wouldn't have to be separated. They're actually platonic soulmates, to the point of finishing each other's sentences a lot of the time. They are the glue that holds this entire friend group together.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00] When Jay and Ali first got together, Mark was a little weird about it, mostly due to the age gap. But he's come around a lot. They still don't get along perfectly, but he said he's happy for them both, and is going to be the best man at their wedding. Last week, Mark got a promotion and Jay was out of town, scouting out venues, so he invited me to go get trashed with him. Near the end of the night, he was hammered and grabbed my arm and told me he had a secret, and that I couldn't tell any of our friends because nobody knows.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00] He told me that he was in love with Jay and had been for years. He went into great detail about how attractive he found him, how good he had been to him all his life, and then he got this really freaked out look on his face and said he didn't think he could sit there and smile while the love of his life married someone. Who can't even commit his birthday to memory, much less write a speech talking about how good their relationship is.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00] He started getting teary-eyed and said the closer the wedding got, the worse he was feeling, and how he really needed someone to be there for him, which I agreed to. I am really bad at keeping secrets. People don't tell me a lot of secrets because I tend to blab. I don't mean to, I just let stuff slip a lot of the time. It's something I've gotten a lot better at, but still, I cannot tell this one, but it's been sitting on my chest like stones on Giles Corey.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00] I don't even know Mark was queer. I'm a bisexual woman myself, so I know how good some people can be at hiding it, and Ali is fine honestly. Like she's nice and all, but I wouldn't call her and Jay a perfect match or anything. She doesn't tend to hang out with a group unless Jay is there, and I call her an acquaintance. I feel like all I can do is wait for some sort of blast wave, like I need to get into a bunker.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_00] I told Mark I'd be there for him, but he was so drunk, I don't think he even remembers telling me. I have no idea what to do here, if anything. Edit, I've made a post if you all are curious, which we'll get to in a moment. But the top commenter said on this one, Sounds like a drunken confession that as long as he forgets it, then you should as well. It isn't like he confessed that he was going to crash the wedding or run away with Jay the day before the wedding.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_00] This is inner emotions that you really wouldn't know if Mark had not been so drunk. Why involve yourself at all unless you asked? You have time to process the facts and be prepared to be a support leading up to the wedding day, in case something big happens, but other than that, not your business and not your problem. Opie says that's what I'm worried about, that Mark will do something stupid. I love him, but he's like a little dramatic.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00] If Jay finds out, then it could be really bad, and if Mark tries something at Jay's wedding, it could be really, really, really bad. The commenter says any chance Jay could be into Mark also. The commenter continues, if not, I'll take Mark's secrets to the grave with me. Opie says when your friend's that long, it's hard to tell, I'd say. If he is, he's spectacular at hiding it. When I first met them, I thought they were together. The commenter says you say Jay is great at hiding possible romantic feelings for Mark,

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00] but then you say you thought that they were together when you first met them. I'm confused. Opie replies saying, I mean, they were both always with each other. At the time they lived together. We met in college, they were roommates. I mean, for the like first hour or two of knowing them. The commenter says, have you spoken to Mark about this when he's been sober? Just ask him what he expects you to do with the information and go from there. Opie says, I did yesterday.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00] At first he tried to convince me he was just joking, but dropped it after a minute to beg me not to tell anyone. I'm starting to get worried about him. The commenter says, do you think he told you because he knows your shit at keeping secrets and he's hoping you spill it? Opie says, God, I hope not. Outing people is a secret I can keep, fortunately. Oh, this is such a messy situation. I'm really stuck on what, if anything, Opie could do.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00] It just feels like a no-win situation. Someone left a comment once on Reddit. I can't remember who it was. It was a long time ago. They basically said the person's holding a live hand grenade with the pin already pulled. Because, for me, it just felt like somewhere along the line, someone's going to get hurt. You know, it already feels like Mark's been holding these feelings in for years. And because it's getting closer to the wedding, the dam is starting to break, so to speak.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00] I feel like if he comes out with something, you know, friend group is going to be damaged no matter what. If Opie was to say something, you know, the damage to the friend group is there. And potentially against Opie as well from Mark. And, again, back if Opie doesn't say anything, she might get dragged into this anyway because she knew about the matter. It's just messy all around. And I kind of feel like the only way to kind of deal with this, and I don't know if it's the right way. I really don't. Is just keep talking to Mark that you can.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00] Giving him some kind of reality check. Almost releasing the pressure for him. Just saying, you know, if it's too painful for you, no one will blame you for stepping down. Of course, there's going to be questions around that. But, you know, in the comments, a lot of people were just saying, take this to the grave with you. It's going to be interesting to know your comments on this one as well. But four days later, Opie does come in with an update. And it said, update, the friend group ending secret is so much worse than I thought it was.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_00] I've been texting with Mark and he's been drinking more and making less sense. Had to come over to his place a few nights ago and keep him company. He's completely wasted and sobbing like a baby. He's found a therapist and scheduled an appointment, but it's still a ways out. I took the alcohol out of his apartment as per his request and stayed with him as we went to sleep. But he was drunk and he dropped another bombshell on me. Apparently, a little over a year ago, Jay and Mark hooked up.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00] While once again, drunk. Usually, they don't have alcohol problems and they don't drink that often. They're just both bad drunks and tend to make really stupid decisions while plastered. Texting exes and getting in fights usually. A week later, Jay met Ali and a month after that, they got together. He told me he was already head over heels for Jay at that point and it really took a toll on him. They remained friends and never talked about it again, but he's been eating away at Mark ever since.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00] I feel fucking awful for the poor guy. I did notice about a year ago that the dynamic got really weird for a few months, but I figured it was just due to Ali being thrown into the mix. This is so damn messy. Also, no, I wasn't going to tell anyone with steak in it. Stop treating me like a gossipy churchgoer, desperate to ruin the lives of those around her. None of my friends have read it, so I will take the risk that they'll see this. I'll update if anything else big happens. Bye.

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_00] So, there was a commenter who was downvoted, but they were talking about the possibility of Jay hurting Mark and Ali and the relationship between Jay and Mark and that OP should out Jay to Ali. And OP says that's a weird conclusion to come to after seeing a tiny snapshot of a relationship through the eyes of another person. You're talking about one of my best friends like he's a manipulative monster. Knowing enough about Jay, he's probably struggling with it too. Mark isn't out. Jay isn't out. He may not even be queer.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00] He may have just been experimenting about safe with Mark. Obviously, I haven't talked to Jay about it, but he's a genuinely good person. I can't imagine he knows the depth of how Mark feels since they mutually agreed not to discuss it further. And he wouldn't be hurting him like this if he knew. Mark's made it clear he hasn't told Jay the extent of his feelings. I'm not going to blow up my friend's life. I will never out somebody. At least, not on purpose. Bloody hell.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00] And yeah, still, like after that update, I just come out of this thinking what an absolute mess. And I just can't help but feel somewhere along the line, somebody or multiple people are going to get hurt in this situation. It just feels like a disaster waiting to happen. That feels awful to say. But what do you guys make of this situation? How would you potentially deal with it if it was you? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_00] And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I the Asshole here subreddit from Opening Permit 486. And it says, Am I the asshole for not being happy enough that my ill partner gets treatment after he excluded me from the trip? My partner and I have been in love for 10 years. He's been seriously ill for the past 4 years. And I've adapted my job and my entire life to be able to support him through everything.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00] He recently got an incredible chance. His brother is a compatible donor. And a life changing treatment is available around 500 miles from our home. We planned that the three of us would move there temporarily for two months. Because it's expensive. And we agreed to share the costs and even discussed possible apartments. Extended my remote work so I could come with them. Help him and be present during the treatment and recovery. I was genuinely excited.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_00] Not only for his treatment but also to spend those months together in that city. Yesterday while checking our emergency finances. I noticed a large payment from three months ago. I checked our shared emails. I have permission and found a rental agreement in his inbox. It's signed only by him and his brother. The apartment is officially limited to two people so not me. I was shocked and incredibly hurt. I can't afford to stay there alone so this decision basically shuts me out.

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00] And he kept this hidden for three months. When I talked to him yesterday. Just excited small talk about spending Christmas there and how this treatment could change everything. He suddenly got strange. He mentioned visiting. He became quiet and acted like our shared plans were never real. I'm angry, sad, confused and honestly devastated. I know he's ill and stress affects him badly. But this was a major decision about our lives that he had hid from me. And now I'm supposed to smile and pretend everything is fine.

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00] So am I the asshole for being upset that they rented a place without me? Instead of being purely happy he's finally getting his treatment. Absolutely not the asshole in this situation. You spent a decade together and four years supporting him. You changed your entire work life to be there for his treatment. And secretly he signed a lease three months ago. That excludes you. And then gaslights you about it. You know this isn't about you being happy enough that he's getting his treatment.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_00] Because you know that's a given. Of course you want him to get better. You've proven that already by changing your whole life around it. Of course you want the best for him. But he's made this choice to exclude you from this major change. And how was he expecting this to work? That one day he was just going to turn around and say, See ya, I'm out of here. I was thinking is it possibly about the brother wanting it just to be the two of them? Or I'm not so sure about this one. But obviously it popped into my head.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_00] Is that your partner having second thoughts about the relationship? And you know he's just not saying it directly. Or is there something else going on that he's just not communicating? Whatever it is, you deserve an honest conversation about what's actually happening. Not just shutting you down and expecting you to go with whatever the fuck this is. But not the mama says. Not the mama says. Like others have said. This was his game plan for a long time. I'd love to be the fly on the wall after the surgery.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_00] And there is no one to take care of these two guys. It sounds like maybe a kidney transplant. Both will have undergone major surgery and have now to deal with no one to help either of them. When he and his brother signed a lease, sans you. It was made clear he does not want nor think he needs you anymore. Go be happy enough without him. He and his brother deserve to suffer together. Take your money and run, hun. Opie says you're spot on. It's a kidney transplant. Thank you so much for your comment.

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_00] Internal Coat says not the asshole, but pure speculation. Is it possible that the brother pressured him not to include you? Perhaps the brother was uncomfortable with the idea of you staying with them. Felt he had to cave to his brother's demand. Since his brother is devoting two months and risking his health to become a donor for him. That still doesn't absolve him from cowardice and gaslighting in not discussing this with you sooner. Opie says thank you so much for your comment. His brother and I are actually good friends.

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_00] I've just been too much of a coward to bring this up with him yet. I'll add this to my edit. Really appreciate it. Nico says info. Is he planning to live off your earnings for the three months? Opie says yes. We plan to cover most of the living costs through me. Since I've been the breadwinner throughout his illness. Thank you so much for the comment. Cranky says a lot of people are saying her. I don't see a gender in this post. Am I missing it? Opie says that's true, but I am female. Edit from the main post.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00] It says one. We live in my house, which I inherited from my parents. Two. For the past four years, I've been the breadwinner. He only works part time. Three. He has covered under my insurance. Four. His brother and I are good friends. I've just been too much of a coward to bring this up with him yet. I wouldn't get any comments. Thank you so much in advance. I'll take my time to read each one. I truly appreciate every comment. Even if I can't respond to all of them. I'm in a lot of emotional turmoil right now.

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00] The letter saying I will talk to both tomorrow. So, it was a week later after that post that Opie did come in with their update and said, First of all, thank you so much for all the comments. I read every single one of them and appreciated each one deeply. I didn't reply because I kept getting more and more overwhelmed and sad. Here's a small update if anyone wants to know. I talked to his brother and his girlfriend two days later. I stayed calm and genuinely hoped for a solid explanation.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00] His brother swore he didn't know my partner had already booked the apartment. And his girlfriend backed him up, saying he hadn't even requested the days off work. According to them, they have no idea of what's going on. He offered to talk to my partner, but I told him not to. Honestly, I still don't know what to believe. Since then, I've been having breakdowns in the bathroom in secret and making a plan to leave. Maybe that makes me the arsehole now. I don't want to talk to my partner about this anymore.

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_00] I feel like I just hear excuses in the same, I can't talk about this because I'm so ill line. I've reached the point where I truly don't care anymore about his explanation. I'm just trying to keep my mask on until then. Edit one hour later. I'm trying to stay calm and act normal because I'm scared he might do something drastic or lash out. Probably a far too late edit, which came one day later. But I want to clarify that we have two joint bank accounts.

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_00] One we share for fixed costs and some hobbies and one emergency account. That's definitely a lot of money. A couple of thousand, but we kept one personal account each as well. So I may lose a hell of a lot of money. But I still have my own account with money. In 10 days, the lease starts and I'm honestly curious to see what actually happens. Thank you again for all the support. I don't really have family I can talk to. And your comments make me feel less like I'm the crazy one or a cold arsehole.

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter said to Opie on the back of all this, How is he paying for the lease if his brother isn't going and you're the breadwinner? Have you offered to help him pack? You could make sure to pack absolutely everything of his and see if he wants to discuss things at that point. Opie says he paid from our emergency bank account. The commenter replied saying, If his brother isn't going, who is? Are you sure there isn't someone else? Sometimes people, usually men, resent their caregivers,

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00] get tired of being seen as the patient and look for someone else. Opie says, I have no idea. I would love to know. Commenter says, So why is it a two-person place and the brother knows nothing? Sounds sketchy as hell. You definitely shouldn't wait to approach this because this is huge. He needs to explain himself now. I'm sure at this point, he's had time to delete things. Opie says, To be honest, I think they are lying to me. C. Ad says,

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00] Can you cancel the booking and call it a fraudulent charge? Opie says, That's actually a good question. To be honest, I'm a bit scared of his reaction if I do something drastic. I'll probably try to wait these 10 days. The commenter replies to that saying, No, what? Cancel it now. Cancel the treatment if you can. He can rob you in secret. You can reclaim your stolen money in secret. Opie says, To be honest, I'll be relieved when he's out because I don't think he would just leave the house if I broke up with him here. Lemon Icing says,

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00] Did your partner forge their brother's signature on the lease? In 11 days, you should change your locks and shut down joint banking, credit cards along with savings and checking account, and any other common stuff too like email and their mobile bill too, if you're also carrying it. You are not an asshole to leave a relationship where you've been clearly taken advantage of. Your partner is way too comfortable having you pay for everything that it doesn't even occur to them that you would turn your back and walk away. You should be angry. I think you're underreacting, to be honest.

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_00] I'd be furious after having twisted myself and my job into a pretzel to accommodate him. Don't look back. You deserve so much better. Opie says, I don't know what to think about the signature. I'm not even sure if his brother is telling the truth or lying. I feel like he is or I'm just going crazy. Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it. And trust me, I am angry. It's just so unreal that I can't believe this is in my life right now. Moore says, Did he forge his brother's signature?

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00] Why are you scared how he's going to react? Has he been unpredictable or abusive? How do you know the brother won't tell him anyway? Are you safe? How do you plan to leave if it's your house? This sounds really hard, but this is not making much sense. Opie says, It is my house. Only my house in my name. Yes, he's a bit impulsive, but I don't want to go deeper into that here. I am safe. I don't think it will change anything if he tells him.

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00] At the end of the day, he is on my insurance, so I just assume he plays it cool. I stay through very rough times. I think he's sure that I will just stay again and don't leave. Sadly, not my first road year with him. So, from what I got from that, you know, there was some confusion in the comments. That he drained their emergency account to pay for an apartment that excludes her. The brother's claiming that he knows nothing about it and hasn't even requested time off work.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00] And now Opie's planning her escape, it sounds like in some ways. While he's completely oblivious because he's sure that she's just going to stay again. There were some comments speculating reasons, you know, about he forged his brother's signature and is planning to bring someone else. Possibly that there is no treatment trip and he's just using this as a cover for something. Or someone said that he's just genuinely lost the plot due to this illness and stress, etc.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00] But the fact that she said, sadly, this is not my first rodeo with him and is scared of his reaction was pretty terrifying to me. And also the brother's girlfriend backing up that he hasn't requested time off. You know, felt pretty damning, I think. Either the brother is maintaining this lie with his girlfriend as well. Or Opie's partner has completely made up the situation.

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00] But Opie waiting those 10 days, oh, that's got to be excruciating. Because something here is extremely wrong. Beyond just being excluded from that trip. Whatever it is, I hope Opie looks after herself. Stay safe in this situation. Just from what she was saying before about not the first rodeo with him, etc. But what do you guys make of this situation? What do you think is happening here?

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being here. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.