She ENDED Our 12 Year Friendship Because I Got Pregnant On THE YEAR OF HER WEDDING! | Reddit

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from personalityno2536 from the AmITheDevil subreddit. And it says, AmITheDevil for getting pregnant the same year as my best friend's wedding.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_01] And before we do get into this one, I do want to give you a couple of trigger warnings before we do get into it. There is talk of pregnancy loss, including description of an active miscarriage, parental death, and also talk about mental health, depression and some suicidal ideation at the same time. So please, if you do want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_01] Hi everyone. I'm posting because I'm truly confused right now and trying to understand if I'm really in the wrong here. My husband and family say I'm not, but my best friend is ending our friendship over this. So I'm trying to figure out if maybe I really am the person who fucked up here. I'm sorry if this is long. I'll put a TLDR at the bottom.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_01] I planned a trip to Disney World to celebrate. Disney is a particularly special place for both of us with my family. Her birthday is exactly seven days before mine and I technically was flying into Disney World on her birthday, but not going into the park.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_01] We had no plans at all to see each other on each other's birthdays. I told her months prior that I was going to go to Disney for my 30th birthday. She cried and basically ghosted me for a couple of days while she had a meltdown because she couldn't handle me going to Disney on her birthday while she didn't have the ability to go. So her and her now fiance, then partner, decided that the only way she could be okay with this was to max out a credit card and go themselves.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_01] So they went six months-ish before my trip with my husband and that's where they got engaged. This was almost two years now. When this happened, I was super confused and kind of upset because in my mind, I didn't understand why I couldn't go to Disney and her not freak out about it. But she went to the parks before me and I didn't care if that's what she needed to do to process, then whatever. I just left it and we went back to normal.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01] We had a moment when I lost my job about a year ago where truthfully, I became very suicidal and negative and trauma dumped too much to her. This strained our friendship and rightfully so. And after apologizing and doing some therapy work, we got back to normal again. This is to say I've not been perfect in my friendship with her, but I believe I've always been thoughtful to account for when I fucked up because I'm human and we all do. I'm now in a far better place mentally and this hasn't been an issue in over a year.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_01] And thankfully, I've been doing more therapy treatments to manage my depression and anxiety and have been far healthier in my life and with my loved ones. Now to the situation at hand. I've been married to my husband for nearly seven years. She was my maid of honor. I've always wanted to have children and my best friends knew this. She has never and still never wants to have children and that's okay. My husband and I tried for children about a year or two ago and then I lost my job so we stopped trying.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_01] Then I got a new job and things were more stable and so we finally decided to go off birth control and try for a baby in October of 2024. Again, she knew this. I also live in a state where abortion is completely illegal. She does not. My husband and I have always wanted two kids. It would be okay if one pregnancy is too difficult for me. Obviously, I know women have children past 35 but the risks get higher. And being in a state where my ability to get a medically necessary abortion isn't possible,

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_01] we didn't want to have children past 35 if we could help it. So the plan was to start trying for children now since I'm already 31. Like mentioned earlier, my best friend has been engaged for almost two years. It'll be two and a half years by the time they get married this year. I am, was, her maid of honor for a wedding like she was for mine. Well, on January 2nd, I found out I was pregnant and my husband and I were so happy.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_01] I told my sister then told my best friend because I figured if the worst situation were to happen, it's my sister and best friend that'd be there for me. When she answered the phone, the first thing she said was, So, when are you due? I started talking about her wedding and if I'd still be pregnant by then. My due date was supposed to be six years weeks prior to her wedding. I could tell immediately in this call that she was upset that I was pregnant and I have a lot of trauma in my life and deal with that by people pleasing.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_01] I could tell she was upset and I tried placating her by saying how I knew the timing wasn't ideal. I didn't want to have a child in September either because there were so many birthdays in my family in that month. I basically just tried to convince her that it would be okay and even asked her if she was mad at me because I know her and I knew she was. Anyway, after that phone call, she basically ghosted me for four days. Didn't answer my texts and basically just replied the bare minimum.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_01] Finally, four days later, she tells me to call her so we can talk and then I spend an hour and a half coddling her and telling her I do not plan to miss her wedding and that this doesn't change anything. The only thing that would change is that I'd have to wear postpartum diapers under my dress. We aren't drinkers and we aren't planning a Vegas rager for a bachelorette and so I didn't see how me being pregnant for that and having a new baby by the time she was married would affect much of anything.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01] We also have a strong family system so we knew that we could have family, watch the baby or God forbid fly up there and stay with the baby so I could be there for my best friend at her wedding. Like I said, there was no intention to miss it and I had to practically beg her to understand this and apologize for adding a wrench into their wedding plans. The next day on the literal anniversary of our friendship, she texts me saying she wants to do another follow-up call with me about it

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_01] because apparently she was okay and now her fiancé just couldn't handle this and she wanted me to basically talk him down and talk through it like I did with her. I didn't want to do this. Her entire reaction was difficult and stressful and I didn't want to spend another hour and a half coddling her fiancé who, while I'm friends with, is not my best friend. I basically said, I'm not sure what I can say at this point to him that I haven't already said to you. She then told me that she didn't feel like my husband

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01] and I considered her wedding being in 10 months when we decided to go for it and that I wasn't being realistic with her about being able to be at her wedding and that 2025 is a big year and that people automatically think a pregnancy is more important than a wedding and she didn't want people to only focus on me and not her. Basically, 2025 is supposed to be her year and now that I'm pregnant, that makes this year not all about her and puts her wedding in jeopardy somehow. I truly do not understand this. As we do not share friends and family groups

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_01] and I would never expect her to pause her life the year I have a major life event so this really upset me that she basically expected me to put my life on pause for a year so only her and her fiancé could have 2025. I told her this in my reply that her reaction had made me regret telling her about the pregnancy and honestly, getting pregnant in the first place and that I live in a state where it's dangerous to be a woman and it's not fair to expect me to put my life on pause for her wedding.

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_01] I told her that best friends share life events all the time, especially in their 30s. They get married and have kids and change jobs and move and get divorced, etc. All at the same time and it doesn't negate or take away from each other and it's okay to both be able to celebrate each other this year. It doesn't take away each other's shine. She told me she needed to process this and couldn't respond yet. I said that's okay. Give it some time and I'll be there. Two days later, I miscarry.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01] This was one of the worst fucking experiences of my life and I'm still not over it. I cry thinking about the baby I lost and the fear that I'll never have a baby or a family in the future two weeks later. It's a wound I'm sure I carry around. I text her at 4am when I was miscarrying, telling her I was pretty sure that was what was happening but that I didn't want to talk about it. Really, I didn't want to talk about it with her. After a response to the news in the first place,

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01] I didn't trust talking to her about it and what she would say. I probably shouldn't have said anything, to be honest, but I'm bleeding heavily in the bathroom in the middle of the night and I text my best friend to let her know. She doesn't text me back until 2.30 the next day and sends a pretty generic text, in my mind basically saying, I didn't know what to say. If you think this is happening, then I'm sorry. I didn't respond. I didn't respond to most people that day. I was actively bleeding and crying and scared for myself,

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01] my baby and my health. She never checked in again. She didn't send me a text later to see if I was okay, how I was doing, if it was confirmed, if my husband, who is also a friend, was okay. Nothing. Just the one generic, if that's what's happening, then I'm sorry. And that's it. Three days later, I go to the ob who does an ultrasound and confirms that I did lose the baby. I shared on my socials that I went through a miscarriage. I have always, for 10 years, shared on my social media when I'm not okay.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_01] When I went through treatment, I shared. I've always shared. It's not for her and wasn't about her. It was about me and being honest with what happened and showing it's not something to be ashamed of. She saw my post. You can see who's seen your stories, but again, no texts or calls or anything to check in on me. Nothing. Now to today. It's been over two weeks where she hasn't said a word to me at all. We went from talking literally every single day for 12 years to her ghosting me completely for two weeks

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_01] while I'm actively going through the worst thing in my life. Today, I sent a text message basically saying, Hey, I don't know what's going on, but you're not saying anything for two weeks has been upsetting me. I gave you time to figure out a response and I'm confused why it's taken this long, but I'll be here when you're ready. Then I got these texts. Now I'm just fucking confused. I don't know what she means when she says I've manipulated her, that I love bombed her by coddling her about my pregnancy to get her to calm the fuck down

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_01] or that I'm always the victim and she's the bad guy. I'm truly confused and mad. Am I manipulating? Was I wrong for getting pregnant in the first place? Should I have kept this a secret? I really don't know what I did wrong and I feel like I need some third party voices to help me see the truth. Am I the arsehole? And as you can see from some of the talking in the title, this was originally posted in January, 2025. The update is going to come just over a year later,

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_01] February, 2026. And of course, absolutely not the arsehole in this situation. And this best friend, using best friend here very loosely, has been showing her true colors for a while, right? The Disney thing alone should have been a red flag throwing a meltdown because you were going to a theme park on her birthday. But the pregnancy response was just something else entirely. The fact that her first words were, what OP called, excited and vulnerable at the same time. But what about my wedding?

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_01] That pretty much tells you everything. You know, a real best friend instinct would be absolutely buzzing for OP. I remember when one of my good friends on a night out was, you know, was just in the pub having a couple of beers or whatever. And he turned around and told me, because it was just like after the nine, 10 weeks, you know, what people generally wait for. Maybe it's less, maybe it's more. I can't remember. But, you know, he had tears in his, I can remember his little face. He had tears in his eyes and he said, oh, you know, we're pregnant. And then he started crying. I started crying.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_01] It was an absolute mess. Absolutely buzzing for him at the same time. But back to OP, then, you know, the miscarriage happened, which, you know, just incredibly sorry for. And then it just felt like the friend's mask fully came off, saying, if that's what's happening, I'm sorry. Oh, deary me. How can someone send that to that? What's supposed to be their best friend? And they're going to be absolutely terrified, grieving all the physical stuff at the same time. Oh my word.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_01] And then she's trying to turn all this back around on you in the end with accusing you of love bombing and manipulation. And it just feels like, you know, OP's been carrying this friendship for some time now, but it might be time to realize that maybe this isn't a true friend or absolutely isn't a true friend. What's the saying that people use? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. And I think this is one of those scenarios. But outside medicine says, not the asshole. She's not your friend.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_01] Friends don't treat each other this way. A true friend would be happy for you for being pregnant. All she cares about is herself. I suggest not going to a wedding and cutting her and a toxic husband off for good. Quit trying to please her. Grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Don't allow people to treat you this way. Evening dress says, I wonder if husband-to-be was upset as bridezilla made him out to be. I really can't imagine many guys that would care one way or the other. But I cut both of them loose.

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_01] People can change a lot in 12 years. OP has grown while her friend hasn't been able to get beyond middle school mentality. Kitty says, Right, the ex-friend and boyfriend are like, she didn't stop to think about us when she was having unprotected sex with her husband. OP says, Unfortunately, this is exactly what she said. When I was on that hour and a half long phone call, she said that she and her fiance were literally talking about, why did he have to come inside you during December? Or something like that. What the fuck?

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_01] I don't remember how she worded it because it stunned me so much when she said it. I was taken aback by her saying that and should have stopped it right there, but continued to try and be empathetic and calm her anxiety. But yes, they literally discussed with each other that they were mad that two married adults had unprotected sex 11 months before their wedding and told me while crying, they said that and I continued to try and be empathetic. I see as I write these things that I've been unfair to myself. I made myself small

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_01] to calm someone down and appease them over something that wasn't wrong of me to do in the first place. I hear what you're all saying and I appreciate the replies. Puzzle-headed Tap says, she's not your friend. Stop apologizing to her and telling her everything for her to blame you or let you down. A friend would have been happy for you to be pregnant and been sad and slash or empathetic during your loss. I would block her and move on. I'm sorry you two grew apart, but she's not a nice person and her fiance needs to grow the fuck up. She needs to be talked down

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01] because you got pregnant. Jesus, he's pathetic and so is she. They sound like narcissists. A lot of women have miscarriages and slash or still worse, but never talk about it. It's about one in four. If you consider early miscarriages, first five to six weeks, I bet that statistic is higher because a lot of women, unless they're tracking, don't know they're pregnant. I didn't have my first baby until I was almost 32 and the last one, I was three weeks before 36. My coworker have both kids in her 40s.

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_01] You got some time. I'll suggest some grief therapy to cope with a loss because even though it's early on in the pregnancy, it's still a loss of a baby, a future of that child and it changes you. Opie says, this is why I shared on socials. It has nothing to do with her and I didn't think about her at all when posting about it. It's something women don't talk about. Like we're supposed to be quiet and ashamed of it, which is why I shared it. Why lie and hide? I'm not okay. But she thinks I'm childish because I guess she thinks that me posting about it

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01] somehow has to do with her as well. I don't know. Processing all of this in the past month has been eye-opening for myself and how I handle things as well as some trauma that I knew about but need to continue to work on for my own mental well-being as well as the friendship that I thought I had with her. I'm at a loss at how this happened and truly didn't think she'd respond in this way. I have a lot of things to process in therapy and I've been in talks with my therapist about this already today and see her multiple times a week in general.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_01] Thank you for your reply. I'm glad you're able to have children and I'm hopeful that I will be able to have my rainbow baby as well. This won't stop us from trying again but it's been devastating and dealing with this from my best friend while grieving the loss of this baby has been a lot. Efficient says not the asshole. She is not and never truly was your friend or should I say she was your best friend. To her you were someone who made her feel better about herself. Her reaction to not having 2025

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_01] be all about her says that no one gets a whole year just because they're getting married. Friends real friends celebrate the twins and grieve the losses together. They don't get mad because someone might overshadow them. Friends real friends celebrate the wins and grieve the losses together. They don't get mad because something might overshadow them. They get excited and hopeful. They cheer you on and pick you up. This girl treated you like a prop and when you didn't

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01] fit in your box that was too much for her to handle. She is selfish and rude. You're truly better off without her. Hope you do get to be a mum because I think you'll make one hell of a good one. Lots and lots of love and I'm sorry you have to grieve a lost baby and a lost friend all at the same time. I hope you just reply to him wow this reply is truly touching. Thank you. So it was one year later that OP came in with their update and said hi y'all I wanted to post a one year later

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_01] update on this post I made as I was going through one of the most traumatic situations of my life since I know a lot of people were asking about it at the time. I haven't ever made an update post or anything so hopefully I've done this correctly. So essentially it's been over a year since all of this happened. Since the night I made the first post and sent my final text message to her basically saying that I was upset in how I was being treated and was open and hoping to work it out together before our wedding. She blocked me on every single social media

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_01] or place possible like even her steam account. I actually am unsure if my text even went through to be honest because we both have iPhones and usually my sent texts turn blue but that text never changed from black to blue so maybe she blocked me right away I really have no clue but she blocked me everywhere stopped talking to me immediately just ghosted me from that point onward what was originally a fear for her that I would miss her wedding because of my pregnancy was the reality because I haven't

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_01] spoken to her since January of 2025 I still think of her often I still have very confused feelings and sadness that comes in giant waves though they get smaller and easier each day that passes therapy and support from my husband and family has helped me deal with the grief as much as I can it's weird to grieve someone that you know is still alive you know but yeah she decided I guess that our 12 year friendship wasn't salvageable and I had no say in that I know she got married but I wasn't there for it

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_01] I'll never understand I'll never understand her decisions or why but I'm reconnecting with older friendships and focusing on myself as much as I can this past year I got hit with that miscarriage and friendship loss my biological mother dying and being laid off and going through those things that are really showing me what I'm capable of and the real friendships and family I have to help me through it and the very best update of them all my rainbow baby is literally due any second yep you read that right

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_01] the baby I was so scared would never happen to me after miscarrying the first one it happened and she'll be here literally any moment I'm sad my daughter won't know my ex best friend and I'm more sad for her that she'll never know my daughter I really do wish things had been different but I also don't want anyone in my daughter's life that doesn't truly love her or care about her and I'm certain my ex best friend wouldn't at least not now going through a layoff while pregnant was also a huge stressor

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_01] but I'm also hopeful to land a new job too final interview this week I'll start when I'm recovered things are finally starting to feel like they're falling into place thanks again for all the perspective you helped me with and allowed me to process and bring things into therapy that helped me and also helped me look inward at myself to be stronger for my daughter and husband but also myself legitimate says see it as trash taking itself out congratulations on the baby come back and give us

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_01] a bubber update sad says exactly 12-years and she couldn't even talk to you that's not a friend that's someone who did you a favor by leaving we're happy for your growing family op vegetable says congrats on your babe op on the greatest part of your life reading your update I groom and wedding party that showed up at the hospital in their wedding attire after their ceremony to meet the maid of honor and her new child she'd got into labor

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_01] before the ceremony and they all went to celebrate that is a true friend you'll find yours maybe it will be your daughter holy moly op has been through a lot in that one year the miscarriage the 12 year friendship her mother and the layoff at the same time all in a year and she's still standing baby incoming with a new job on the horizon that is absolutely amazing for op congratulations

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_01] on the baby on the new job and the growth I kind of feel like the blocking everywhere tells you that the ex-friend knew that she was wrong on some level and I hope op does still continue to you know go to therapy for to talk about the 12 year friendship because there's still that little hint of missing her maybe not missing her because you know that's missing someone's a healthy thing to do but you know just quoting I'll never understand that's something that can keep you

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_01] stuck for years if you're not careful when I think the blunt point is and I think it's very easy to say is that you don't really need to understand why she did it in the end sure it could potentially give some closure but in the end she made these choices and they were all negative towards OP she hurt you something which you know you didn't deserve in all those moments that you were going through you just deserved a friend that would support you not someone that

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_01] would knock you down because you know they thought that you might overshadow their wedding or whatever her reasoning was but it sounds like things are in a much better place for OP with an actual solid support system around her now at the same time but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_01] we have a to a house and what we needed for the house and who was going to bring what and also settled on a chore schedule we also decided that we would have up so we could buy things we all would use like toilet paper towels dish detergent and laundry detergent

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_01] as it turns out Danny Ella Francesca and I bought most of the stuff we needed like a couch small dining table dishes silverware drinking glasses cookware food storage containers etc things went pretty well during fall semester shortly after that however things started to decline Abby's boyfriend Andy basically moved in with us and the two of them started acting like they owned the place left the dirty dish in the sink and leave a passive aggressive note about how rude it was

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_01] and stopped doing chores about a week before memorial day ella got a call from the landlord on our new place saying the previous tenants had moved out and we could move in early if we'd like at no charge danny ella fran and i discussed it and decided to get out of our current house asap but didn't tell abby and brooke of our plans memorial day weekend rolls around and abby brooke and their boyfriend head out of town to go camping while the rest of us put our plan into action

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_01] for the help of friends danny ella fran and i got all of our stuff moved out and when i say all i mean all living room furniture dining room furniture dishes silverware cookware food storage containers baking supplies shower curtains rugs lamps vacuum broom dustpan etc we also decided that since neither abby nor brooke had contributed to the shared household supply fund since march the toilet paper

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_01] paper towels dish detergent laundry detergent and so forth was ours so we took all of that too abby brooke and their boyfriends were shocked to return from their camping trip to an empty house what made our petty revenge even sweeter was that on their way home from the camping trip all four of them got food poisoning and were really sick the scathing texts we got about moving

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_01] out unannounced and taken all shared household goods especially the toilet paper priceless danny ella fran and i are great friends still and get a good laugh about the situation about 12 years later none of us had heard from abby or brooke since graduation imagine treating people badly the same people who's basically own all the stuff in the apartment like you don't get to stop doing

[00:28:01] [SPEAKER_01] chores stop contributing to their supply fund and then destroy stuff around the house and expect them to leave you a fully furnished house as a parting gift cheeky bastards and the chef's kiss of all this is that you know returning home with food poisoning with no toilet paper oh deary me there were some commenters talking about you know the sort of lack of notice and agreements and things getting messy in

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_01] that kind of way but it sounds like things did work out i mean didn't op say what 12 years later or something they still haven't heard from them there's some people commenting on this about you know tampering with mail isn't that some kind of offense or something like that i think i've heard it is but it would have been interesting to be like a fly in the wall when they returned home and there's just like absolutely nothing there just sat in the middle of the room by themselves

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_01] oh what a sad image but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below now just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being here truly and hopefully i'll see you in the next one take care and much love

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_00] yeah man i remember being so naive when life was good weather and palm trees back in the day you were everything i need but then alone came a time when you crushed my dreams oh yeah you played me like a fool when you made me believe that the line between love was ridiculous to read oh yeah you see we in the spare crime everywhere you're selling false hope because you just don't care now