He Invited His Families Kids To Stay Over At MY HOUSE Without Asking | r/Relationships

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Aunt Bad Host from the Relationships subreddit. And it says,

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00] Me, 30 female with my boyfriend 34 male of 2 years, thinking of breaking up due to his nieces and nephews. I will try to keep this short. I've been with Dallas, 34 male for 2 years. I met him through my sister, Leeloo, 36 female and her husband Corbin, 45 male. Issue. Here is the problem. While I truly enjoy time with Dallas, he seems to view us as married already.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00] He refers to my animals as his pets to people. Though I've asked him not to. They're not his pets and never will be. He views my home, which I pay for myself, as our future home. I've been honest about how I view my future. This means my house is my house. My pets are my pets and I do not intend to get married or have children. I've also told him how uncomfortable small children make me. I don't allow them in my home.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00] Dallas has always been honest about his own life and seem to understand these were things I was not willing to compromise on at all. Two days ago, I was at Dallas's house and he was talking to his sister, Jean, 40 female, about her visiting with her kids. She asked him to watch them for a week while she headed out to Vegas.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00] He told her Zorg, 5 male, Diva, 7 female and pronunciation on this one, Plava Laguna, 9 female are welcome at our home anytime. Bring them by the week we get back from our vacation. Jumping in quickly because I've only just realized it took me longer than I thought. These are names from the film Fifth Element, aren't they? It carried on, we're going to Canada for a week. Since we were hanging out at his place when they called, I assumed he meant his townhouse.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00] When he hung up, he said, I needed to go grocery shopping for the kids. Plava Laguna is apparently a really picky eater and has been on gluten-free because of the special autism diet her mum has her on. Eva and Plava Laguna are both special needs. I told him I would help him shop, but that I was busy most of the week and didn't want slash have time to entertain his kids. He started saying things like, I won't let them bother the kitties too much. They can play in the pool.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00] It's a koi pond, so no, they cannot. What? Also saying, there is so much room, they can play in the backyard with the dogs and not be a bother. I told him I didn't want the kids to come over at all. They could stay in his house, he has enough room and there is a park around the corner. I've always been clear about this. He seemed to laugh it off. He didn't even discuss having them come over with me. Just ignored every conversation we had about me disliking kids under the age of 10 and not doing well with special needs.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00] I've told him about how angry this makes me. We had a conversation about it, but he is relenting. I just feel like he doesn't listen and he doesn't care about my property, desires and needs. I feel he didn't earn having a house with a yard and he didn't save up to have a house he is proud of. Instead, he spends all of his money on his hobbies. I don't want my house to be destroyed by three kids. I don't want to have them over. I'd like some advice on how to handle this. Advice? Now where to start with this one?

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00] There was one bit that absolutely, I was lost for words. When she had to clarify about, you know, him saying the kids can play in the pool and she's like, No, it's a koi pond. I'm like, what? How do you make that mistake? You must have known there was fish in there. Koi, expensive fish at that. I don't know. And without breaking this down too much because there's just, you know, incompatibility all over the place. And that's exactly how it felt. Incompatibility. And they just seem to be papering over the cracks.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00] Part of me just had me feeling, do they even like each other? Commenter said, Whoa, yeah, you two sound very different. He sounds like he's looking for a family kind of woman. Kids or no. You two don't sound very compatible from this description. Opie just replied to him. I guess we aren't after all. Opie then responds to a longer comment, quoting it, saying, Clearly, you have very different expectations of where this relationship is and is going to him. I can't tell whether that's because you haven't discussed it properly or recently,

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] or because you have discussed it and neither of you have changed your view or compromised at all. It says, Then the Opie says, I've explained this to him. He's tried this before when we were first together. His buddy and wife were coming into town to watch the Super Bowl and he offered up my living room.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00] I was going to be out of town and said I was not comfortable making my house a party place. I dislike messes and sports. Did not have cable. I used it to play DVDs. I was not going to purchase cable for one event. He got upset but dropped it soon after. I did not think it would come up again. Opie then quotes again, saying, As an aside, whether or not you have discussed with him what your expectations for the relationship are, I would expect that unless you had explicitly told him otherwise,

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00] he should treat a house which he doesn't own, isn't paying rent on, and doesn't live in as not his. It strikes me as bizarre at best that he doesn't. Opie then says, I have never told him the house would be ours. I said, As we would never get married, the house would belong to me, and I would be the one to make all major choices in the home. He doesn't like the color of my walls in the bedroom and has asked if. We can repaint it when I move in. I told him the house wouldn't be repainted to a new color because I liked it.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00] My ideal match would have been his own house. He would stay at it and we would do couples things together but have our own space. So it was three weeks later that Opie came in with an update. They said, For long of it, Dallas and I broke up. We were broken up for about a week, then he called and begged me back. I gave him a chance, stupidly. It lasted two days. Now I'm done with him for good. Though he keeps calling me. The first fight was over the original issue.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00] When he called to apologize, he said he would ask next time and that was the end of it. We wouldn't talk about it again. I guess we both assumed we were right and that the other person would relent. The last fight came when Dallas heard I was hosting a barbecue for Leeloo, sister, and her husband Corbin the week the kids were going to be there. It was for Corbin's work friends for his promotion. It was going to be all adults. I guess Corbin had bragged about my koi pond. There's a few fish he brought in there and he helps me with it.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00] So his friends wanted to see it and I said it was fine. Just as long as they did the dishes when we were done. I hate dishes. I offered to help cook. I told Dallas about it and he said he would bring the kids. I told him there was going to be no kids because it was work related and not really super casual. He got really upset. He then told me that it would be a lot of work to bring the kids to the house when they could just chill out in my house and not bother people. I asked him why he thought the kids would be there at all.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00] He told me because you agreed to have them. I told him that was not happening. He was not invited to the barbecue and we were not going to Canada. Well, I was. He wasn't. I had a friend agreed to stay in my house while I was gone and went on the trip with my sister. So now I'm single. The barbecue was great. Dallas has stopped by several times trying to talk to me. I threatened to call the police on him. He writes me long sobbing messages on Facebook. Even though I blocked him. He keeps using his friends accounts to do it.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00] So that is the end of the drama. Thanks for the advice and everything. If you have anything you think might be useful, I can use tips and tricks or whatever you call ditching a crazy ex. I gotta be honest, after this one, I was just left thinking, how did they meet up initially? I know she said it was through the sister, but how did that first conversation go? How did they, what did they have in common? And the comments below this one seem to be in two different sort of camps.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00] Some people said, you know, they both sound almost as bad as each other in some cases. Other people saying, you know, she had boundaries and she was enforcing them and good on her. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Chuck It Away who says, Me, 23 male with my girlfriend, 22 female of four years.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00] I think she is cheating on me with our roommate. My girlfriend and I have always had a lot of fun together. She's my best friend and the absolute love of my life. I plan to propose this Christmas, already have her father's blessing. And recently I noticed her acting differently with our roommate, who is also one of my oldest friends. He's known for being a womanizer, always has different girls leaving in the same clothes they had the night before. I came home from work and they were quietly whispering in the kitchen.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00] It sounded like a serious discussion. And when the door closed, I swear I heard her say, Shh, he's home. And when I walked into the room, they shot apart. It could have been paranoia on my part, I guess. But then last night when we all sat watching some stupid reality show that she loves, she was on her phone the entire time. His phone buzzed and I saw her name on his screen. They were texting while we were all in the same room. That can't be good, can it? How do I bring this up? Do I confront her?

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00] Him? Do I need to sneak for evidence? The first commenter was a bit suspicious. They said, really? Your mind jumped to cheating? Because mine jumped to Christmas surprise. Mr. Shush says, You've got some circumstantial evidence here. It certainly could be bad, but it could also be nothing. Christmas is coming up. Maybe she's working on a surprise gift for you. Talk to her. A ruined surprise is a small price to pay for preserving what sounds like a good relationship. Another commenter, I'm not reading that name, says,

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00] It's a Christmas surprise. Surprise! I'm cheating on you! And another commenter says, Why is it the first thing that comes to mind is that she's being unfaithful to you with the roommate? I think that area needs some more explanation. Has she cheated before? How does she treat you? Has anything changed from how she used to treat you? It is a really big jump to accuse an SO of cheating on you, especially with no background information. I've acted in a similar way with my boyfriend's male friends,

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00] two of which were roommates, and I've never cheated on my boyfriend. I was acting secretively because I had a surprise for him, and they were in on it. And a lot of commenters were going down that path, that OP jumped straight to cheating, maybe hinting at something else that's happened in the past, that maybe she's cheated before, or is the boyfriend just insecure in this? But OP came in with an update two days later, and said thank you to everyone who replied with advice, etc. I really appreciate it.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00] As one Redditor that rightly guessed, I've been cheated on before. It was one of those. After I found out and ended it, it turns out some of my friends had noticed and never bothered to tell me. So now I worry and I look for signs a bit too much. She's never given me a reason not to trust her until this whole roommate thing came about. I'd like to clear up a few points. When he first moved in, she didn't approve of his promiscuous ways. She was worried about lots of different girls

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_00] having access to a home when we're not there. And while she made her feelings clear, they still remained civil. Stayed out of each other's way, small talk, etc. He told her his only rule for sleeping around is that everyone involved had to be single. He's a strong believer of bro code, which makes this harder to swallow for me. She's never made me feel the need to snoop. She charges her phone on my nightstand instead of her own because hers is full of books and a lamp. If she had something to hide,

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00] she wouldn't leave her stuff so out in the open, would she? After the other night, she left her phone on my nightstand as usual and pretty much went straight to sleep. Admit, I tried to look. Her password had changed, which shocked me a lot. She only has a password to stop from butt-dialing people. Everyone knew her password. She's a very open book about stuff. I got so angry I couldn't sleep. This is another red flag, right? But I couldn't exactly wake her and demand her new password, could I?

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00] Without giving it all away, I fumed for ages. Got about two hours sleep. Last night is when everything went wrong. She messaged me, saying she was on her way home and she'd meet me there. Did I want anything specific for tea? I said steak. She said, can you pick up this and this from the store on your way home? I said yes, see you later. Still angry and hurt over my failed snooping attempt the night before. I get to the store after work, knowing she was home.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00] And when I went to pick up what she had asked for, they had ran out. So I decided to ring her to see if there was any alternative or to just leave it. There was no answer. I rang again. No answer. My stomach was in knots at this point. I ringed my roommate. No answer. Stomach doing backflips. I rang the house phone. No answer. So something in me snapped and I rang over and over, let it constantly ring until one of them picked up. She eventually answers, sounding out of breath.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00] Another red flag to me. I was so angry at this point, I snapped at her saying, where the fuck have you been? She claims to have been in the shower. I asked, where the fuck is he? She claims not to know. The house was empty when she got home. I didn't believe her and say, I'll be home in 20. I gave her an incorrect time. So if they're up to something, I'd catch them in the act. I was home within five. And when I got back, she got back in the shower. He wasn't home. Her phone was on the table. So I guessed her password again and again until I disabled her phone.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00] I was so angry. I didn't even care. I banged on the bathroom door and told her to get out. We need to talk. She came out, wrapped in a towel, eyes worried. I demanded to know what was going on. She said she had no idea what I was on about. I told her to unlock her phone because I know they're up to something. She started to get upset and begged me not to do this. She said I was ruining everything. Sounded like an admission to me. So I called her a slur and said if she didn't show me her phone right now, I was leaving.

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00] She started crying and locked her phone and threw it at me. Then went to our bathroom and shut the door. Instead of following, I started reading. Well Reddit, half of you were right. It was a Christmas surprise. Our roommate works at a sports shop. She had arranged for me to get a whole new football kit, not just for me, but for my entire Sunday league team. She'd been asking for their sizes and messaging them to my roommates so we can keep them to one side for her at the store. I felt so sick. This amazing girl

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00] has been trying to do something for me that I really needed. I'm the captain of the Sunday league team and I've been moaning about the cost of a new kit. So she's using her own money to do this for me. And I've just called her a slur and accused her of sleeping with our roommate. I heard her crying from our bedroom. So I knocked on and started apologizing. Fuck it. I even got upset and started crying. I can't believe I caused this. She wouldn't answer the door, kept telling me to fuck off.

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_00] Then she used the phone in our room to ring her dad. He came for her, asked no questions on why she was upset, just gave me the look that makes my ass leak. She packed the bag and she's gone back to her parents' place. I broke down and confessed that I'd been planning on proposing. I don't know what I expected it to do, but she got really angry and told me after four years together, if I can jump to an extreme conclusion so quickly, then I'm not ready to be married. I didn't know her at all.

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_00] I clearly don't trust her and there is no hope for us. I've been blowing up her phone since until she either blocked me or turned it off. Well read it. I let my anger get the best of me and now I've lost the best thing that ever happened to me. She told my roommate too and he came home pissed at me as well. He said he can't believe I thought he would do that to me. She left me. Roommate is pissed at me. Safe to say I've ruined Christmas and lost my incredible girl. Any advice on how to fix this?

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_00] I don't want to end over something so fucked up on my part. A commenter comes in, quoting after four years together, if I can jump to an extreme conclusion so quickly I'm not ready to be married, then says, buddy, I'm sorry but I'm fairly certain your relationship is screwed beyond all repair. Whether or not she takes you back, you really need to look into getting some therapy for yourself. Frankly, it wasn't fair of you to judge your girlfriend based on your ex's mistakes and you will destroy many more relationships in the future due to your lack of trust and your inability

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00] to resolve conflict fairly without name calling. Commodore says, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that I'm not dating OP. Heroine of Time says, holy shit, you have some serious anger issues, dude. I don't think there is any fix in this. You called her a slur for trying to surprise you with an extremely thoughtful gift. If she was the one posting this, I'd be telling her to run like hell. You need to accept that you fucked up big time. Leave her alone and get some goddamn therapy.

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, bloody hell. Yeah, I totally agree with the comments on that one. I don't think there is any coming back from that. You know, coming back, banging on the door, calling her a slur and demanding her phone to the point that she has to throw it at you and go and hide in the bathroom. Sounds like you scared her in that moment. And yeah, I think like the commenter said, if it was the other way around and she came onto the post posting this, everyone would be saying run. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from such specialists from the Relationship Advice subreddit and says, I, 32 female, want to hit on my neighbor, 30 male, without being creepy. I'm a single gal and live in a one bedroom apartment. I have seen my neighbor guy who is also single and last night got the balls to chat with him and now have a huge crush. Last night I was doing laundry

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00] while kind of drunk and he came in at the same time so I was like, I forgot my quarters. If you have a few, I'll pay you back. I had plenty of quarters by the way. Without hesitation he handed me a Ziploc bag of quarters and said, no worries, take what you need. I see him all the time and he says hi so I formally introduced myself then left. During the drying cycle I came back and saw him and couldn't tell he was kind of bust and we actually chatted for a long time and he was super friendly and really easy to talk to.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00] He's an in-shape dude and I'm a fat girl so intimidated to talk to him but he is super friendly. At one point he said, if you ever get bored, come by for a beer. I don't have a lot going on. My plan is I just bake some cookies and want to bring them to him with a few beers and see how he reacts. But part of me thinks that is super creepy and don't want to embarrass myself. Mate, for a beer he doesn't have a lot going on but you're going to come by with beers

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_00] and cookies. Mate, you're winning already. Commenter said to AP the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Another commenter says, yeah, that's not creepy. He invited you over. If you came by uninvited, maybe creepy. He also gave you the change you needed for the laundry so bringing cookies and beer is totally acceptable. Just be tactful. If he hasn't given you any indication that he's interested then maybe don't try to kiss him or anything. Perhaps his intentions are purely platonic

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00] and it could get weird and embarrassing. I don't know about you but for me, usually when both people are into each other situations develop organically into hooking up. Compliments lead to friendly touches to more intimate ones to sex or whatever. Just go with the flow. Opie says, see, my idea was to bring the cookies and be like this is a repayment for the change which I think is pretty smooth. I don't plan on hooking up or anything I just want to get to know him better. Commodore says, just do it. You just gotta grit your teeth and do it.

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_00] You don't need the perfect plan or the perfect outfit. You just have to go knock on his door. Worst case scenario, you get rejected. That'll sting for a minute but even then you get to say to yourself, I knew I could do it. Which is way better than letting your life pass you by and wondering what could have happened if you had only tried. But here's the thing, you're probably cool as fuck. He'll probably be so stoked that you took him up on his offer. He's probably going to think that those cookies are the sweetest thing anyone's ever done. You're probably going

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_00] to have an awesome time. Again, take the shot. You got this. OP replied to him, this reply actually gave me confidence. My thing is, we've lived here for years and just now got to know him so I agree nothing to lose. But I'm also 5'1", 210 pounds but this dude is like legit hot but I never see a girl with him. Part of me has the fuck it attitude but also I have low self esteem so I'm conflicted. Like I just don't want to show up and have him put off that would not

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_00] help my case. But also I think he would be cool with it so that's why I'm asking I guess. So OP comes in with a first update later that day and says also I'm kind of buzzed and after the supportive replies I'm just going to go for it and see what happens. Fuck it. And the commenter just says get him girl rode him for ya. And OP comes in with a final update. It says update. So first of all I have shit confidence when I posted this. I was secretly

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_00] hoping people would be like don't do it girl but I just put myself out there and fuck it I'm glad I did. I brought a plate of homemade peanut butter cookies and two Sierra Nevada to this dude's door. Sierra Nevada. Google initially came up with a location but it also looks like it's a brewery of some sort. I actually sell them in my local Sainsbury's. Might have to get one of those. Anyway when I knocked he immediately said what's up Sarah and the fact they remembered my name went a long way and I was caught off guard. I presented the gift

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_00] and he actually invited me in and was a fucking gentleman to say the least since he said there is two of us and two of those. It was like on the hour and I didn't want to wear out my welcome but we had a fucking awesome chats and had a really good night and doesn't get out much. Then my answer was I have a good job but everything physical and he said I'm fucking hot but we don't need to get ahead of ourselves. He said

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_00] I'm welcome over any time and we have a date planned for Thursday and I'm really fucking excited like really bad. I've never once put myself out there like this but honestly this thread gave me the confidence. Even if I just get a new friend that's cool but I feel like this is an emotional level since he doesn't care about my looks. Commodore said so effing stoked to you and opi says I have never once had a guy ask me out on a date and I'm feeling really good about what I did I'm literally crying

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_00] with joy. Commodore says yes I've never been in a situation so I'm really happy I'm really hoping this works out with him but if not I'm going to put myself out there more often why am I tearing up I'm tearing up that everyone else is

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_00] and in that way maybe you're the opposite I find myself the opposite I struggle to approach people like that I'm a pretty shy quiet guy in real life I think I always find myself overthinking all the time if I was going to approach someone new I think what I'm going to say to them initially but then I'd question it in my head what if I say this what are they going to think and I know that's a wild ass way of thinking right you know something I talk about in therapy at the same time but what about you

[00:25:04] [SPEAKER_01] I can smell the smoke from the bacon the windows