I Kicked Out My Wife After She Punched My Mom & I Regret My Decision r/Relationships

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[00:01:03] My situation went from bad to worse in a matter of a week, and I don't know where else to turn.

[00:01:15] I need to know if I was wrong, possibly a validation thing because life is fucking dumb right now.

[00:01:22] My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and she just gave birth to our first

[00:01:26] and last baby 2 months ago. Up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her. I'm not sure

[00:01:33] what the fuck is wrong with my mom or why the switch happened but after my wife got pregnant,

[00:01:38] my mom started being very clingy to me and started avoiding my wife at all costs. Told everyone she

[00:01:45] wasn't excited about the pregnancy etc. I threatened to go no contact with her when my

[00:01:50] wife was about 7 months along, and after that she snapped out of it for the most part and

[00:01:56] stopped being so ignorant. The comments 100% stopped at least, though she was still clinging to

[00:02:02] me. Now a week ago my mom, my sister, my sister's husband and my sister's daughter 12 came over for

[00:02:10] dinner. I prepared the meal. Before my wife could eat anything, our daughter got fussy so my wife

[00:02:16] excused herself to go feed the baby and get her down to sleep. I thought I prepared enough but

[00:02:22] apparently not because my niece was still starving. She's 5'5 and 190lbs. I haven't seen

[00:02:29] her in a year and she was not that size then so I didn't exactly portion in an extra 3 helpings for

[00:02:35] a child so it's on me. I apologized and told her that I hadn't made any more and offered her

[00:02:41] crackers as I was putting my wife's portion in the fridge. After that I just went outside with

[00:02:46] my sister's husband to smoke a cigarette and shoot the breeze. Didn't think anything of it,

[00:02:52] but then I hear yelling from inside. When I walk in my wife and my mom were screaming at each other.

[00:02:58] Apparently my mom, who saw me put my wife's food away, gave my niece my wife's portion of food.

[00:03:04] As I was walking inside I heard my mom say, looks like you can afford to skip a meal,

[00:03:09] and slap my wife's stomach. Right as soon as I get ready to step in, literally fast walking

[00:03:15] towards them yelling, enough! My wife winds back and punches my mother square in the face

[00:03:21] and drops her. The whole house went silent outside of my mom crying and holding her face.

[00:03:26] I tell everyone to get the fuck out. Immediately everyone leaves and my wife just turns around

[00:03:33] the counter and leans with her hands on the counter and face down, eyes closed. I look at

[00:03:38] my wife and say you two leave now. She says really? She's crying at this point. I say a clip, yep.

[00:03:46] She packs up her and the baby and leaves. I text her that night and say I just need space,

[00:03:52] I need to decompress and come to terms with what just happened. She doesn't respond. The next 5

[00:03:58] days I'm texting and calling and I get nothing. She shows up here today, so 8 days later, and

[00:04:04] hands me divorce paperwork and my baby and says here you have a bit to hang out with her while

[00:04:09] I pack. Where I'm breastfeeding we can work out a visitation schedule that is either at your place

[00:04:14] or my mother's until she will take a bottle. I told her that's not what I want, I don't want to

[00:04:19] separate, I just needed time to process her punching my mother in the face. She said you

[00:04:25] needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation

[00:04:30] any longer. I defended myself. I initially felt bad and remorseful but you making me leave when

[00:04:36] I needed you made me seem more clear. I'm done. I'm sorry for what I did but there's no fixing this.

[00:04:43] She refused to speak to me at all the rest of the time she was there.

[00:04:46] My house feels so empty and I don't know what to do.

[00:04:50] Am I the asshole for making her leave after she punched my mom? I just needed some fucking space.

[00:04:57] PTA for the record, I am team wife. My mom deserved it wholeheartedly and I've blocked

[00:05:03] her completely from my life. I literally just needed time to process what happened.

[00:05:08] My wife is a lot of things, violent is not one of them so this came completely out of left field

[00:05:14] and would not have happened without her being provoked. After it all happened my mom sent

[00:05:18] me a text saying see I told you she was crazy, that fat bitch doesn't belong in our life.

[00:05:24] I'm willing to bet she purposely tried setting my wife off. So now I'm on my wife's side 100%.

[00:05:31] I truly just needed to process what happened and my wife took it as me giving up on her,

[00:05:36] not defending her and throwing her and our baby out. Which did essentially happen because I knew

[00:05:41] she had to take the baby with her when I kicked her out. PTA the reason why, my dad was stupid

[00:05:47] abusive, I was beat, my sisters and brother were beat, my mom was put in the hospital multiple

[00:05:54] times, it took years for police to enforce restraining orders and he finally died in 2013.

[00:06:00] Violence scares the fuck out of me, I clam up and get anxious around violence of any kind now.

[00:06:06] My wife knows this and she too grew up with a violent dad, stepdad and she gets just as anxious

[00:06:12] and panicky around violence. Her punching my mom in the face triggered an anxious response and

[00:06:17] I needed her gone in that moment, I needed it far away from me. I don't know why I didn't just leave,

[00:06:23] I could have but in that moment I just let my emotions and fear run the whole fucking circus

[00:06:28] and told everyone to get out, her included. My mom did slap her first, I guess for the same reason

[00:06:34] I was seeing my wife's punch as being worse than the slap. It wasn't a hard slap but my wife did

[00:06:39] kind of wince, looking back on it now. She was fine following but my mom was bleeding, split her

[00:06:45] eyebrow open in good shape, I don't know. Thanks for the responses, I'm the asshole, I'm going to

[00:06:51] try and kiss ass now. And it sounded like OP's already got the gist of most of the comments and

[00:06:57] I'm guessing they're going to be arsehole but it just sounded like the wife was at the end of her

[00:07:02] tether with your mom. You said it before that she was treating her like this for a long time now,

[00:07:08] but it just sounds like your wife is fed up with this shit and wants out of it. I sort of wonder

[00:07:13] what else she's been going through in the background, if mom's been sneaky you know.

[00:07:17] And the moment that your wife needed support you kicked her and your child out of the house?

[00:07:22] There's a lot of stories we talk about emotional incest and it certainly feels like one of those

[00:07:27] stories. Celtic News book says so, to recap, you allowed your mommy to verbally abuse your

[00:07:34] pregnant wife for months but still invited her to your wife's home. You stood there while your

[00:07:40] mother insulted and punched your wife in the abdomen where she's been growing your child for

[00:07:45] the past nine months. Then when your provoked wife defended herself from your bag of garbage mother,

[00:07:51] you put your wife and child out of their home so you could process. Seriously, you put your wife

[00:07:56] and infant child out of their home instead of you leaving to pull yourself together and stop

[00:08:01] being a mama's boy. You showed your wife who you truly were that night, a less than. Not a real

[00:08:07] husband, not a real father, not a real man. How is she ever supposed to unsee that? You're the

[00:08:14] asshole dude. A huge asshole. Trailsia says your bitch mom is the one who got physical first,

[00:08:21] you're the asshole. My wife is a lot of things but violent is not one of them.

[00:08:26] Did this come completely out of left field? Yeah, because she was defending herself from your bitch

[00:08:31] mom. N a deleted user says and instead of thinking holy crap have I let it come to this,

[00:08:37] he booted his wife with an infant out onto the street. I can't see that there's any coming back

[00:08:43] from this. Nickel Pickle says processing what happened is one thing, but not supporting your

[00:08:49] wife and kicking her out is another. Your mom is out of line, if you would have checked her a long

[00:08:53] time ago it wouldn't have got to this point. Your mom treated your wife poorly because you allowed

[00:08:59] it. Even your mom's text that she sent you shows that she thinks that it's okay to disrespect your

[00:09:04] wife. I guarantee your wife has been putting up with your mom's crap for a long time. She's had

[00:09:09] enough, you're not going to win her back. Rude Flamingo says this 100%. I understand some people

[00:09:16] need space but kicking your wife out is a whole other spectrum of assholeishness. He could have

[00:09:21] gone for a walk and processed shit, kicking his wife out is just, he deserves this divorce

[00:09:26] unfortunately. He's definitely the asshole. Kate Cooke says he didn't even rethink when he saw she

[00:09:32] was leaving with a baby. He essentially threw out his own child as well. A Rose says you're the

[00:09:38] asshole, your mother is an abusive piece of shit and your wife reacted after she was provoked.

[00:09:43] You should have shut her down when she first started acting up. You should have set boundaries,

[00:09:48] you should have protected your wife who literally just grew and birthed your child. You kicked your

[00:09:52] wife and baby out of their home. You need to process, take a walk, go to a different room,

[00:09:58] watch a movie, see a friend. Congratulations, you ruined your marriage over several months,

[00:10:03] this was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Do the decent things and make separating easy.

[00:10:10] So Opie had some comments as additional information. Opie says my mum did hurt her,

[00:10:14] she slapped her in the stomach and my wife went back in pain before punching her in the face,

[00:10:18] as a few other people have pointed out. I guess new mums have muscles separated in their abdomen

[00:10:23] so given the force that my mum slapped her in the stomach, like a little bit below the ribcage,

[00:10:27] full backhanded slap which could be heard from the door. Pooey, I guess it's comparable to hitting

[00:10:35] my wife in her internal organs because her stomach muscles aren't healed, I just learned that.

[00:10:41] Opie also says I don't know, I can't justify it, I let my own fear run the situation.

[00:10:46] Violence scares the shit out of me. I watched my mum get beat for years,

[00:10:50] my siblings and I were beat too but we weren't hospitalized. My wife punching my mum just

[00:10:55] immediately made the room spin and I wasn't thinking about the consequences of my actions

[00:11:00] forward. Opie continues I'm fully aware that my niece is fat, I'm assuming my mum made her that

[00:11:06] way, she lives with her, she did it with all her kids growing up, we were all fat F's because she

[00:11:12] overfed us, i.e. fat kids are happy kids. None of the night made sense. Opie says starting to see

[00:11:18] that. My wife sent me a text about 10 minutes ago saying look up emotional incest, with no context.

[00:11:24] Definitely describes what my mum is doing, I did completely block her but it won't help my case.

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[00:12:35] So two months later the response post comes from the wife which says I'm still grieving

[00:12:40] at the loss of my marriage but my friend had notified me about my husband's post that had

[00:12:45] too many specific details that were hard to ignore. To clarify this is my first time on reddit. I read

[00:12:51] my soon to be ex-husband's post and wanted to give my side of the story and include details he

[00:12:56] didn't provide in his post. For those who hadn't read it, long story short my husband kicked me

[00:13:02] out of the house after his mother had physically slapped my stomach in front of him and I punched

[00:13:06] her in self-defense. I loved my husband dearly but his lack of action regarding his mother's

[00:13:12] behavior was extremely disgusting to say the least. I tolerated his mom's behavior long enough

[00:13:17] until I couldn't take it anymore as he had overlooked his mom's behavior over and over again

[00:13:22] that I finally had enough. I was still recovering after giving birth to his child when his mom slapped

[00:13:28] my stomach. My husband exaggerated when he said it wasn't a hard slap. The slap itself was hard

[00:13:34] enough to be heard by everyone in the room. I'd lost it at this point when his mother slapped my

[00:13:39] stomach with a turd eating smirk that wasn't visible from my husband's point of view. At least

[00:13:44] that's what my husband claimed. I had a mental breakdown when my husband told me to leave after

[00:13:49] kicking everyone out of the house. You should have seen his face when he told me to get out with a

[00:13:54] straight face and without hesitation. Our baby was crying at this point before I left and I couldn't

[00:13:59] do anything but cry that night after I went to stay with my mother. His mother sent me a text

[00:14:06] mockingly saying, I'm going to file charges against you for assault you fat little whore. Now stay the

[00:14:12] fuck out of our lives. She ended the text with a smiley face at the end. I was livid and decided

[00:14:18] I did not want to be associated with this family anymore and served my husband divorce papers.

[00:14:23] And as you can guess, he didn't take it well and tried to get me to reconsider.

[00:14:27] I told him that he overlooked his mother's behavior one too many times and I was done

[00:14:32] with him and his inability to establish boundaries with his mother. I recommended setting boundaries

[00:14:38] but he didn't think it was necessary even after I told him throughout the pregnancy

[00:14:42] about the nasty names his mother called me when he wasn't around. And he always brushed it off.

[00:14:47] Even though he did tell his mom to stop, she would continue this behavior after a short pause for a

[00:14:52] while. Before I left after handing him divorce papers, he begged me for another chance and told

[00:14:58] me he cut contact with his mother permanently. I told him that he is sorry now that I handed him

[00:15:03] divorce papers and that it was too late to act now and that I decided I wanted out of the marriage.

[00:15:09] I told him I loved him so much that he should look at it as a sign that if I didn't,

[00:15:13] then I would have divorced him long ago because he didn't stand up for me multiple times.

[00:15:18] And I let his mother's snarky comments and behavior slide at my mental expense.

[00:15:23] I told him he needed help with the trauma because I understand that he is dealing with trauma

[00:15:27] since he already mentioned my abusive stepdad but didn't even realize that his mother hadn't

[00:15:32] gotten him help for his trauma and he is still being affected in his adulthood. What I can't

[00:15:37] understand is why he didn't leave if he needed some space instead of being such a heartless bastard

[00:15:42] and kicking our child out with me. I've been ignoring his texts and calls ever since

[00:15:47] and I'm waiting for a divorce hearing. Something that I wanted to point out is that his mother

[00:15:52] had attributed to his niece's weight gain since she lives with my husband's sister to save money.

[00:15:57] I once again told my husband about his niece's weight gain that it's concerning that she weighs

[00:16:02] 190 pounds at such a young age and she was indeed not that weight before.

[00:16:07] On the day of the incident, I was making the niece's second portion of food and then my

[00:16:12] husband's mother came towards me and snatched the plate out of my hands and said I'll do it myself,

[00:16:17] let me take care of it. When I tried to take the plate back his mother said I don't know what to

[00:16:21] fucking do, you don't know how to properly feed someone as healthy as my grandchild.

[00:16:26] And I was shocked that she thinks her grandchild's weight was normal for her age.

[00:16:30] I couldn't take this harassment or abuse any longer and my breaking point was reached when

[00:16:34] he kicked me and our child out of the house. Now I need to do what's right for our child because

[00:16:39] she doesn't need to be in a toxic household where she has to witness the drama going on.

[00:16:44] My soon to be ex-husband wants us to do marriage counseling to which I've refused to do so because

[00:16:49] I'm done with him. I started to feel slightly guilty with his begging and gaslighting,

[00:16:54] I just want to be done with him. I've blocked him as recommended by my lawyer but he keeps reaching

[00:16:59] out through his other family members and siblings. What should I do to make him go away

[00:17:04] until the divorce hearing? I read your husband's original post, he was very clearly the asshole.

[00:17:13] Your post only confirms this. As far as your question about him getting to leave you alone

[00:17:17] until the hearing, ask your divorce attorney if they can send him his or his family member's

[00:17:23] cease and desist letter or send it to his divorce attorney. Designer Carpenter says

[00:17:28] remember telling your ex that he was the asshole, his number one job as a husband is to stick up for

[00:17:33] his wife. If my mother had slapped my wife that would be the last time she saw either of us or

[00:17:38] our children. But now what do you guys make of this situation? Do you ever think there's any

[00:17:45] recovery from this? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

[00:17:55] Our next story comes from the am I the asshole subreddit, it doesn't have an update as yet.

[00:18:00] It's from BubblyDucky25 who says am I the asshole for telling everyone how mother-in-law acted at

[00:18:07] wedding? Throw away husband on reddit. I 26f got married to Jack 26m in August,

[00:18:15] we've been together since we were 15. Jack and I decided to have an immediate family only wedding,

[00:18:21] it was extremely small, my dad and brother, his parents and sister-in-law. My dad paid for

[00:18:27] everything, mother-in-law and father-in-law asked if they can stay with us the week of the wedding,

[00:18:32] we say sure. They show up and they brought mother-in-laws sister, husband and niece,

[00:18:37] 14. The 5 of them are in the entry of the house and expect to stay with us this week.

[00:18:42] I'm annoyed, especially since they weren't invited but I say nothing. Mother-in-law walks right past

[00:18:49] me and turns to me and asks if we invited Jack's cousin, we will call her Jane. I tell her no,

[00:18:56] we just invited you guys and my family. The reason Jane is not invited is because she's drama,

[00:19:03] wore white to Jack's sister's wedding and made a scene. The day before the wedding I get up and

[00:19:08] notice my car is missing, had a last minute things to get and it turns out mother-in-law helped

[00:19:13] herself to it so she can go shopping at the mall. I call Jack and he calls his mom, she returns the

[00:19:19] car 4 hours later. The mall is 15 minutes away from our house, I was able to get everything I

[00:19:24] needed and head home. When I get home Jack pulls me aside and tells me mother-in-law yelled at him

[00:19:30] for having a camera in the house. We have a camera facing the back door, we check it to make

[00:19:35] sure the dogs aren't outside and it's locked. Either way it's not hidden and it's in our home.

[00:19:40] To me that was sus so I check the footage and hear how mother-in-law and aunt are absolutely

[00:19:46] berating me in our house. I show it to Jack and he says to say nothing. The day of the wedding

[00:19:51] arrives, mother-in-law opens our bedroom door asking for an iron, I go grab one for her. I

[00:19:57] close the door and start getting ready. I have a picture of my mom passed away next to the mirror

[00:20:03] and I'm just in my head about it all. Then mother-in-law opens the door and asks for an

[00:20:08] iron and curler, I get her one, I close the door and lock it. I call my dad to linger outside the

[00:20:14] door. The limo arrives to pick me and my husband up to bring us to the church. Before I get out

[00:20:19] the door, mother-in-law, father-in-law, aunt, uncle, niece get into the limo and open the special

[00:20:25] bottle that my dad kept for his wedding. So now it's me, Jack and all his family in the limo on

[00:20:30] the way to the church like a clown car. They drink the whole bottle which I wanted to share with my

[00:20:35] dad and brother. At the reception Jack and I catch mother-in-law going through the wedding envelopes

[00:20:41] to see what everyone gave. She is pulling money out and telling Jack his sister is cheap. Again,

[00:20:47] I say nothing. The last straw was when I looked around and mother-in-law and aunt were missing.

[00:20:53] I find them hiding calling Jane who didn't even know about the wedding to tell her she

[00:20:57] wasn't invited. Lastly, I got my photos back from our photographer. Aunt, mother-in-law,

[00:21:03] uncle are doing the peace sign behind our heads in everyone's group picture. I told my friends

[00:21:09] what happened because it bothers me but my husband is saying I am the asshole here because I shouldn't

[00:21:14] tell anyone. Am I the asshole? What is going on? I might have to title this video the

[00:21:21] Asshole Mother-in-law edition or emotional incest edition. These people turned up to your wedding

[00:21:27] cause an absolute shit show. They wanted that attention. Give them the damn attention. I know

[00:21:33] it brings additional drama to your life but I mean somewhere along the line you need to put your foot

[00:21:39] down. Them getting into the car with you and drinking the champagne. Holy moly, absolute

[00:21:44] audacity. Their asses should have been kicked out there and then. You need to be having a strong

[00:21:49] conversation with your husband for absolutely not saying anything against his family at the

[00:21:53] same time. These just sound like a bunch of assholes man. Honestly, who even goes through

[00:22:00] their head to think any of that is acceptable? Firstly, turning up with extra people to a

[00:22:04] wedding when only a couple of you were invited. Berating you and your house secretly behind your

[00:22:10] back, getting into the limo, drinking champagne. Horrible people. But grand beat Hank says you and

[00:22:17] your new husband need to have a face to face meeting and get on the same page about how to

[00:22:21] handle his relatives in the future because this is only the beginning of the meddling. I emphasize

[00:22:27] his because it is my firm belief each partner in a marriage should be the one who handles their own

[00:22:32] family members. So I hope your new husband grows a pair and can do the job, not the asshole for

[00:22:37] needing to vent as your husband will just tell you to be quiet. Space Jesus is here says oh boy,

[00:22:43] you need to deal with this ASAP before your husband thinks this is how it's going to be.

[00:22:47] The solution to his awful mother is not to keep it a secret, it's your husband to tell her to get

[00:22:52] in line or to not visit. If you don't fix this now, your life is going to be just like all the

[00:22:57] miserable people on r slash just no mother in law. Not the asshole but you need to get your

[00:23:02] husband to set and enforce clear boundaries with his mummy before it's too late. My couch says not

[00:23:10] the asshole, is it too late for annulment? Husband taking crazy family's side is a huge red flag.

[00:23:17] Hope you got safety gear because you're going to be rolling this rock uphill your entire marriage

[00:23:21] if you don't grow yourself a nice new shiny spine or if hubby continues to choose them over you.

[00:23:26] Best pomo says not the asshole, if your husband does not support you when his family berates you,

[00:23:31] is he truly on your side? Talk to your husband and make the boundaries clear,

[00:23:36] otherwise along the road there'll be a lot of blurred lines and them walking all over you

[00:23:41] while your husband tells you to keep it quiet and brush it under the carpet.

[00:23:45] Now what do you guys make of this situation? I just got this vision of my head of them all

[00:23:51] piling into this limousine and helping themselves to the champagne and the bride and groom just sat

[00:23:56] there like what the fuck. Let us know your thoughts down, oh my word, and just a huge thank you for

[00:24:03] being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means

[00:24:07] the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you

[00:24:12] in the next one. Take care and much love.

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