I Invited My Nephew To My Wedding Despite His Estrangement From My Brother r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:19] Now, today's first story comes from regulardare1057 from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit and says,

[00:00:24] Am I the arsehole for inviting my nephew to my wedding despite his estrangement from my brother?

[00:00:30] I, 33 male, am marrying my fiancé, 37 male this winter. We're putting together the guest list to send the invitations out and have run into an issue over my nephew and my brother.

[00:00:42] My brother, 38 male, was 18 when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. They ended up moving in together and my brother decided to go find work as a mechanic

[00:00:52] rather than go to college as he'd planned. My nephew was born a little while later. They got married when she told him she was pregnant with their second kid, 15 female, and then had two more, both 10 male.

[00:01:05] Ever since my nephew was born, he's been literally one of my favorite people. I babysat him plenty of times, same with my other nibblings.

[00:01:14] And I've spent my 20s as their gunkle, gay uncle. My brother and me were close as kids and I've been close

[00:01:22] with his kids as well. Five years ago, my brother found out my nephew wasn't his and his now ex-wife has been sleeping with someone else at the time and had suspected my oldest nephew wasn't my brother's since he was a little kid.

[00:01:36] He ended up getting a divorce and my brother didn't seek custody of my oldest nephew and said he didn't want to see him.

[00:01:42] He told me that he needed time to process and would try to patch things up later.

[00:01:47] That idea was kind of ruined when my nephew turned up at my brother's apartment begging to talk. It turned into an argument between them.

[00:01:56] For context, our father had just passed a couple of months earlier.

[00:02:00] During the argument, my nephew said something along the lines of,

[00:02:03] No wonder mum fucked somebody else. I bet grandpa hated you.

[00:02:07] My brother cut things off then and there and has refused to see my nephew since.

[00:02:12] I stepped in as the main male figure in my nephew's life.

[00:02:15] Much as I dislike my ex-sister-in-law, I even took him out for his 18th birthday and took him looking at universities and he now goes to my alma mater.

[00:02:25] I asked my brother how he wants to handle the seating situation if they don't want to be close together.

[00:02:31] My brother was angry I'd even invite my nephew after everything that happened.

[00:02:35] He said it'd be like inviting my ex-sister-in-law.

[00:02:38] He's not family, he's just a prick who disrespected our dad.

[00:02:41] I said he's being petty and childish taking the words of a scared and angry 14-year-old so personally.

[00:02:48] It was a kid who said something shitty because his entire world was falling apart and the person he'd relied on for his whole life was suddenly pulling away.

[00:02:56] And instead of being understanding and doing family therapy or something like a grown-up,

[00:03:01] my brother decided to give adult weight to a teenager's words and cut him off completely.

[00:03:06] My nephew has said he's okay with not going if it's causing an issue, but I told him not to be ridiculous.

[00:03:12] He's important to me and I want him there for when I marry my person.

[00:03:16] I told him he shouldn't let my brother's inability to let go be his problem.

[00:03:20] My fiancé agrees with me.

[00:03:22] My mum and sister both say I need to see it from my brother's perspective.

[00:03:26] I think he's just being petty.

[00:03:28] Am I the asshole?

[00:03:30] So as usual, there was people asking OP questions.

[00:03:34] Someone said, info, did your brother ask your nephew for space directly?

[00:03:38] Or did he just abandon the kid and rely on his lying, cheating ex to pass along a message?

[00:03:43] OP says, if I remember correctly, he didn't say anything to my nephew.

[00:03:48] Just up and left.

[00:03:50] Someone said, how did it come out?

[00:03:51] OP said, yes.

[00:03:52] I'm pretty sure the whole thing started over a typing assignment thing for biology class.

[00:03:57] Brother is own egg.

[00:03:58] Ex-sister-in-law is a neg.

[00:04:00] Nephew is a positive.

[00:04:02] Commenter says, your brother is allowed to set boundaries.

[00:04:05] I won't be at your wedding if the kid is there because of my mental health.

[00:04:09] And you're allowed to say, okay.

[00:04:11] Someone's boundaries are their own.

[00:04:12] If they try to manipulate or change you or your choices to enforce their boundaries,

[00:04:17] that crosses the lining into controlling.

[00:04:19] Not the asshole.

[00:04:20] OP says, the problem is he wants to uninvite my nephew.

[00:04:24] He feels entitled to go himself.

[00:04:26] Someone asks about the age of the nephew.

[00:04:29] OP says, the clarification, he's 19 now.

[00:04:31] He was 14 when this all went down.

[00:04:34] Another commenter says, has he shown remorse for what he said?

[00:04:37] He's old enough now to know he said something wrong and to apologize.

[00:04:41] OP said, he said he'll apologize if my brother apologizes for abandoning him.

[00:04:46] On nephew's bio dad.

[00:04:48] OP says he has no relationship with his bio dad and expresses no desire for one.

[00:04:53] He said, when people tell him that, he asks why he should seek to put a relationship with a perfect stranger he's never met before.

[00:05:00] Someone says, you're allowed to invite who you want to your wedding.

[00:05:03] Just recognize you will be facing repercussions either way.

[00:05:06] You'll destroy your relationship with someone or several someones.

[00:05:10] If, for example, you destroy your relationship with your brother, you'll be destroying your relationship with his other children.

[00:05:16] Will you be able to live with that?

[00:05:18] No one's an asshole here.

[00:05:20] OP replied saying, visiting my nephew before he was 18 meant attaching a clothespin to my nose and spending time in the same general vicinity of my ex-sister-in-law regardless.

[00:05:30] My relationship with my other nibblings is safe.

[00:05:33] They have 50-50 custody and my niece wants her brother there.

[00:05:36] I just found this out because my brother complained to our sister that they had a fight about it when she found out he didn't want her brother there.

[00:05:44] OP then responds to a bit of a longer comment and said,

[00:05:47] I'm not going to blame a scared, angry kid for lashing out.

[00:05:51] As far as he was concerned, my brother was his father who he's suddenly been abandoned by.

[00:05:57] The commenter says, you didn't got to blame him but you could have held him accountable and tell him that his word had meaning.

[00:06:02] What's so hard about that?

[00:06:04] Like you're saying this kid this, this kid that but don't mean you don't hold him accountable.

[00:06:09] OP says we talked it over.

[00:06:11] He called me in a panic thinking he'd ruined everything and I told him what bus to take to get someone near my apartment and we talked about it.

[00:06:17] I offered to be the go-between and asked my brother if he'd be willing to talk more civilly and he said he didn't want to see him again.

[00:06:25] The commenter says to OP, everyone sucks here.

[00:06:27] Your brother needed time to process everything.

[00:06:29] I mean he abandoned all his college plans and life plans to be there for his wife and what he thought was his child and found out all these years later that everything was a lie.

[00:06:38] He had the rug pulled out from under him.

[00:06:41] Then afterwards his dad dies.

[00:06:43] I mean that's tough.

[00:06:44] You don't sound like you cut him any slack.

[00:06:47] You're doing a good job of undermining your brother's feelings.

[00:06:51] Do you even like him?

[00:06:52] Your brother deserved space at the time.

[00:06:54] Who's to say he wasn't going to go back to parenting your nephew?

[00:06:57] Your nephew said something that was extremely mean spirited.

[00:07:00] Yes he was a teenager but since when a teenager is exempt from accountability?

[00:07:05] I think you're not doing a good job of managing this situation and it seems like you've already abandoned your brother.

[00:07:11] OP says accountability is.

[00:07:13] Tell them what they did wrong and make them make amends as best as they can.

[00:07:17] Not cut them out entirely and claim their harsh words were the reason.

[00:07:21] A reply to that says, those are not harsh words.

[00:07:24] Those are definitely fighting words if I've ever seen them.

[00:07:27] What your nephew said was cruel and said in such a vulnerable time.

[00:07:31] And it's insane that you can't recognize that.

[00:07:33] Your brother was kicked when he was already down.

[00:07:36] He was a boss whose shiny glowing weakness was exposed and attacked.

[00:07:39] He had salt rubbed into the wound.

[00:07:42] And OP replies saying,

[00:07:43] And my nephew was a scared angry kid whose whole world was falling apart at 14.

[00:07:49] Had nowhere near the emotional maturity to deal with that fact well.

[00:07:52] They were both hurt people who hurt people.

[00:07:55] The difference is my nephew has no issue with my brother being there.

[00:07:58] Whereas my brother didn't want me to invite my nephew.

[00:08:01] Then OP has one more bit of information about the relationship with the nephew and his mom.

[00:08:06] OP says,

[00:08:07] For about a year or so afterwards, he would throw it in her face every time she tried to reprimand him.

[00:08:12] Much as I dislike him myself, eventually I sat down and pointed out she didn't actually know for certain

[00:08:18] he wasn't his father's until the DNA test.

[00:08:20] She just strongly suspected.

[00:08:22] I also pointed out that the more people he cuts off,

[00:08:25] the fewer people he has to fall back on when things get tough.

[00:08:28] Things are okay-ish between them.

[00:08:31] And okay-ish is probably as good as it's gonna get.

[00:08:34] Now I will tell you straight away that the comments on this were so mixed.

[00:08:39] You know, many people saying that,

[00:08:40] How can you just abandon him after 14 years?

[00:08:43] Other people from the other point of view saying,

[00:08:45] You know, he said something mean, etc.

[00:08:47] And it's gone back and forth constantly.

[00:08:50] OP then comes in with her update and says,

[00:08:53] I decided to follow some of your advice and talk to him about what happened.

[00:08:56] And set some boundaries with my brother.

[00:08:59] So I saw him in person to talk things over.

[00:09:01] I told him that my nephew has been in my life for more than half my life.

[00:09:05] I was 14 when he was born.

[00:09:07] I've been his uncle for 19 years.

[00:09:09] And fundamentally, he's not the one that betrayed my brother.

[00:09:13] And while I can't imagine what must have been going through my brother's head at the time,

[00:09:16] It's not my battle to fight.

[00:09:18] And even if it were, I'm not obligated to take it out on a kid who had nothing to do with it.

[00:09:24] What he said was extremely shitty, yeah.

[00:09:26] But we're talking about someone who was 14 at the time

[00:09:29] and absolutely did not have the emotional maturity to handle the situation.

[00:09:33] I told him my nephew was open to a mutual apology.

[00:09:36] So bottom line, my nephew is invited and he's getting a plus one.

[00:09:40] And I will seat him away from my brother if he wishes.

[00:09:43] But that's the most I will do.

[00:09:44] They can talk or not talk, kiss and make up or ignore each other all night.

[00:09:50] But I'm not making it my fight.

[00:09:51] My brother said he understood and would think about it.

[00:09:54] Then a couple of days later, he drunk texted me a complete 180

[00:09:57] and asked if I could invite ex-sister-in-law too.

[00:10:01] Which I think is probably because his RSVP included his new girlfriend as his plus one.

[00:10:06] And she's 26.

[00:10:08] I just know my niece complained it was gross

[00:10:11] that her dad's new girlfriend was a year closer to her age than his.

[00:10:14] My brother at his best is charming, confident,

[00:10:17] looks wise kind of like a chunkier version of me.

[00:10:19] So not bad looking.

[00:10:21] And he had no trouble pulling women post-divorce.

[00:10:24] Once he got his confidence back and lost weight.

[00:10:26] I declined his drunk request.

[00:10:28] But his girlfriend is nice.

[00:10:30] And I told my niece that girlfriend is inside the half plus seven.

[00:10:34] So she can't be completely grossed out.

[00:10:36] Since some have asked about my nephew and ex-sister-in-law, I'll explain.

[00:10:41] She didn't know for sure that my nephew wasn't my brother's.

[00:10:43] But she strongly suspected and she was sleeping with both her affair partner and my brother at the time.

[00:10:50] For about a year after the divorce,

[00:10:51] my nephew would throw the deception back in her face every time she reprimanded him.

[00:10:56] Until I sat him down and pointed out that the more people he pushes away,

[00:11:00] the fewer people he has in his corner when things go south.

[00:11:03] Bottom line, she is his mother.

[00:11:05] After the debacle with my nephew,

[00:11:07] my brother and ex-sister-in-law were more careful with my niece

[00:11:10] and the twins about not making adult problems their problems as well.

[00:11:14] Sorry there was no Scarlet A like many of you would have liked.

[00:11:17] She's not my favorite person, but I can sort of tolerate her.

[00:11:21] To answer the question about his bio dad,

[00:11:23] my nephew has expressed zero desire to meet him.

[00:11:26] He says he doesn't get why people think a perfect stranger could replace my brother

[00:11:30] like being abandoned out of the blue never happened.

[00:11:32] My nephew RSVP Jess has taken his they friend.

[00:11:37] His SO is non-binary and that's what they're calling themselves.

[00:11:40] So, fingers crossed, the happy ending.

[00:12:12] Your KFZ-Versicherung will be expensive since the 1st 1st 1st?

[00:12:16] Standing for her son's anger with her.

[00:12:18] Because she pretty much messed her eldest child's life.

[00:12:21] At least for a little while.

[00:12:23] It sounds like he's doing much better.

[00:12:25] And permanently damaged her own relationship with him

[00:12:27] by marring all his familial relationships.

[00:12:29] Except yours.

[00:12:31] OP says she was the gatekeeper for my nephew.

[00:12:34] That's basically all the interaction we had.

[00:12:36] I was there for him and not for her.

[00:12:38] That inner life doesn't interest me.

[00:12:40] I advise my nephew to make some sort of peace with her

[00:12:43] because she's still his mother.

[00:12:45] And because the more people he pushes away,

[00:12:47] the fewer he has in his corner when things go south.

[00:12:49] Because that seemed the best neutral advice I could give.

[00:12:53] Someone says to OP,

[00:12:54] you said that the nephew was open for a mutual apology.

[00:12:57] I'm seriously wondering,

[00:12:59] what do you think your brother needs to apologize for?

[00:13:01] By wanting to raise a kid that is not biologically his

[00:13:04] doesn't make him a wrong guy.

[00:13:06] He's completely valid and reasonable.

[00:13:08] Also, if the adult's problems affect the children,

[00:13:11] then those children have all the right to make it their own issue.

[00:13:14] Your nephew lost his only father figure

[00:13:16] because his mother couldn't be a decent person

[00:13:18] and keep her legs crossed.

[00:13:20] His world completely turned upside down because of his mom.

[00:13:23] He has all the right to be mad at her.

[00:13:25] What do you need to do to stop advocating for his mom?

[00:13:29] OP says,

[00:13:29] full disclosure,

[00:13:30] it's not my argument anyway, to be honest.

[00:13:32] My nephew believed he was wronged

[00:13:34] and is sticking to that position

[00:13:36] and will not unilaterally apologize.

[00:13:39] A response to that says,

[00:13:40] yeah, this completely proves you're a crappy brother.

[00:13:43] You're ignorant and arrogant

[00:13:44] of the whole situation he's going through.

[00:13:46] Maybe if you all would have given your brother

[00:13:48] some time like was requested,

[00:13:50] things wouldn't have gone so bad.

[00:13:52] But you and this kid are literally destroying

[00:13:54] any possibility of him wanting to stay involved.

[00:13:57] And honestly,

[00:13:58] not just with the kid's life,

[00:13:59] but yours too.

[00:14:01] OP says,

[00:14:02] my nephew is 14.

[00:14:03] The man he thought was his father

[00:14:05] said he didn't want him around

[00:14:06] and wasn't taking his course.

[00:14:08] Wasn't seeking custody of him.

[00:14:10] Made it seem like he didn't want him.

[00:14:12] He freaked out.

[00:14:14] He was also 14.

[00:14:15] There was no way he had the emotional maturity

[00:14:17] to deal with it well.

[00:14:18] So yeah,

[00:14:20] he went to try and force the issue

[00:14:21] and it went south.

[00:14:22] They both said some shitty things.

[00:14:24] What my nephew said was particularly shitty.

[00:14:27] I told him it was shitty.

[00:14:28] The commenter says,

[00:14:30] you've repeatedly shown him

[00:14:31] you don't care about your brother.

[00:14:33] You're repeatedly telling him you pick them.

[00:14:35] If he wanted his kids to go,

[00:14:37] that's up to him.

[00:14:38] But you took that choice away

[00:14:39] and invited the person

[00:14:40] who betrayed him the most in his life

[00:14:42] and the direct repercussions

[00:14:43] of that betrayal to your wedding

[00:14:44] and said he doesn't have to go

[00:14:47] but they will both be there.

[00:14:49] You're seriously oblivious.

[00:14:51] So what if he was in your life

[00:14:52] since you were 14?

[00:14:53] Your brother has been there from day one.

[00:14:56] OP responded saying,

[00:14:57] I didn't take any choice away from him

[00:14:59] because he doesn't have a say in who I invite.

[00:15:01] He has a say in whether he goes

[00:15:03] and that's it.

[00:15:04] If my nephew isn't his,

[00:15:05] it's not up to him.

[00:15:06] He's 19.

[00:15:07] Whether his kids go in a shared decision

[00:15:09] between him and his ex,

[00:15:11] I don't remember who's weaker to be.

[00:15:13] He is the one who drunkenly suggested

[00:15:15] inviting his ex

[00:15:16] so he could parade his 26-year-old girlfriend

[00:15:19] in front of his almost 40-year-old ex,

[00:15:22] which is a level of petty I approve of

[00:15:24] but I had to decline.

[00:15:26] The commenter says,

[00:15:27] but you're constantly backing

[00:15:28] and encouraging the nephew.

[00:15:30] You need to explain

[00:15:31] how the nephew was the wrong one.

[00:15:33] Don't keep pacifying everything.

[00:15:35] OP says,

[00:15:36] they both have grievances with one another.

[00:15:38] It's not my job to force a mediation.

[00:15:41] I offer,

[00:15:42] I act as an intermediary.

[00:15:44] But the bottom line is,

[00:15:45] they both hurt one another.

[00:15:47] And as I said,

[00:15:48] the comments were all over the place

[00:15:50] on this one,

[00:15:51] back and forth.

[00:15:52] It was ultimately voters and not the arsehole

[00:15:55] but the comments were literally

[00:15:57] all over the place.

[00:15:58] And it just sounded like

[00:16:00] an incredibly complex

[00:16:01] and super painful

[00:16:03] for everyone that was involved.

[00:16:06] I can imagine not everyone's

[00:16:08] going to agree with me on this,

[00:16:09] especially from what I've seen

[00:16:10] in the comments.

[00:16:11] And that's absolutely fine.

[00:16:12] You know,

[00:16:12] we all have our own opinions,

[00:16:14] et cetera.

[00:16:15] While I understand

[00:16:16] that the brother

[00:16:17] was betrayed

[00:16:18] and his whole life

[00:16:19] was turned upside down

[00:16:20] as well.

[00:16:21] And you know,

[00:16:22] everything,

[00:16:22] his sense of family,

[00:16:24] everything was turned upside down

[00:16:25] for him.

[00:16:26] And I can't imagine

[00:16:27] what he was going through.

[00:16:29] And the initial reaction

[00:16:30] of just walking out,

[00:16:31] I can kind of get,

[00:16:33] but then not taking a step back

[00:16:35] to think about

[00:16:36] how that nephew was feeling

[00:16:37] at the same time

[00:16:38] who was also,

[00:16:39] you know,

[00:16:39] a 14 year old,

[00:16:41] a young dude

[00:16:42] who had no control

[00:16:43] over the circumstances

[00:16:44] of his birth

[00:16:45] and just wanted the person

[00:16:47] who he considered

[00:16:48] his father in his life.

[00:16:49] And then the brother

[00:16:50] years later

[00:16:51] still refusing

[00:16:52] to be in the same room

[00:16:53] as the nephew.

[00:16:54] It's just sad

[00:16:55] and troubling.

[00:16:56] And again,

[00:16:57] from my perspective,

[00:16:58] I just like really struggled

[00:16:59] to see you've had

[00:17:00] 14 years with this person,

[00:17:03] raising this person,

[00:17:04] showing them love,

[00:17:06] caring for them

[00:17:06] to just walk out instantly

[00:17:08] and want nothing

[00:17:09] to do with them.

[00:17:09] I don't know.

[00:17:10] For me,

[00:17:11] it's just sad.

[00:17:12] It's really sad.

[00:17:13] But now

[00:17:14] I'm going to turn this one

[00:17:16] to you guys.

[00:17:17] What do you guys make

[00:17:18] of this situation?

[00:17:20] Let us know your thoughts

[00:17:21] down in the comments below

[00:17:23] and let's move on

[00:17:24] to another story.

[00:17:27] And we have another

[00:17:27] little cheeky one

[00:17:28] from the

[00:17:29] Am I the Asshole

[00:17:30] subreddit

[00:17:30] from Brilliant Peace

[00:17:31] 9682

[00:17:32] and says

[00:17:33] Am I the Asshole

[00:17:34] for uninviting

[00:17:35] 25 family members

[00:17:37] to my wedding

[00:17:38] six weeks

[00:17:38] to showtime.

[00:17:40] Woo-hoo-wee.

[00:17:42] I have had this

[00:17:43] Halloween wedding

[00:17:43] planned for two years.

[00:17:45] The venue I wanted

[00:17:46] has a wait list.

[00:17:47] All of a sudden,

[00:17:48] my mom and grandma

[00:17:49] decided the wedding

[00:17:50] was satanic

[00:17:51] and want me to make

[00:17:52] last minute changes.

[00:17:54] I told my mom

[00:17:55] and grandma

[00:17:56] a firm no.

[00:17:57] Two years my family

[00:17:58] has known about this

[00:17:59] because I have told them

[00:18:00] no,

[00:18:00] half my mom's side

[00:18:01] thought they would be cute

[00:18:02] and said they aren't coming

[00:18:03] in a random ass

[00:18:05] power struggle.

[00:18:05] I told them fine

[00:18:07] and cancelled

[00:18:07] everyone's invitations

[00:18:09] who complained

[00:18:10] or backed my mom

[00:18:11] or grandma on this.

[00:18:12] One of my sisters

[00:18:13] acted like she stepped

[00:18:14] out of Bride Maze duty

[00:18:16] so I replaced her.

[00:18:17] It was about 25 people

[00:18:19] that decided to act stupid

[00:18:20] at less than

[00:18:21] the six week mark.

[00:18:22] So I sent out

[00:18:23] uninvited invitations

[00:18:25] and sent out

[00:18:26] new QR codes

[00:18:27] for those attending

[00:18:28] and the venue

[00:18:28] will check in

[00:18:29] by only those

[00:18:30] to let people in.

[00:18:32] My aunt,

[00:18:33] who was one

[00:18:33] of the uninvited,

[00:18:34] told me people

[00:18:35] are allowed

[00:18:35] to disagree with me

[00:18:37] and that doesn't mean

[00:18:37] I can pull an invitation

[00:18:38] from a wedding

[00:18:39] that they have made

[00:18:40] plans to attend.

[00:18:41] I told my aunt

[00:18:42] that they had two years

[00:18:43] for complaints

[00:18:44] but saying you are not

[00:18:45] going at six weeks

[00:18:46] before my wedding

[00:18:47] is bullshit

[00:18:47] and everyone fucked

[00:18:48] around and found out.

[00:18:50] I will not be bullied

[00:18:51] by my family over this.

[00:18:53] My word,

[00:18:54] I haven't seen a post

[00:18:54] like that in a long time

[00:18:56] where OP's just

[00:18:57] taken no shit.

[00:18:59] Holy moly,

[00:19:00] talk about fuck around

[00:19:01] and find out.

[00:19:02] Like you said,

[00:19:03] they all went for this

[00:19:04] like control thing

[00:19:06] over you

[00:19:06] and it just

[00:19:07] backfired on them

[00:19:08] massively.

[00:19:09] I would have loved

[00:19:10] to have seen their faces

[00:19:11] when the uninvited thing

[00:19:13] turned up on their doorstep.

[00:19:16] Historical goal,

[00:19:17] says to OP,

[00:19:18] not the arsehole,

[00:19:18] sounds like a blast.

[00:19:19] Which bride are you

[00:19:20] dressing as?

[00:19:21] OP says,

[00:19:22] a light blue corpse

[00:19:23] bride dress

[00:19:24] and then I'm gonna have

[00:19:25] light blue hair.

[00:19:27] Esme says,

[00:19:27] they're allowed

[00:19:28] to disagree with you

[00:19:29] from the comfort

[00:19:30] of their own homes.

[00:19:31] Telling someone

[00:19:32] their wedding is one,

[00:19:33] is satanic

[00:19:34] and two,

[00:19:35] needs to change

[00:19:35] is not disagreement.

[00:19:37] It is a request

[00:19:37] that you alter

[00:19:38] your wedding

[00:19:39] to suit them

[00:19:40] and you're perfectly

[00:19:40] within your rights

[00:19:41] to decline

[00:19:42] to spend your day

[00:19:42] with people

[00:19:43] judging you that hard.

[00:19:44] Have a great time

[00:19:45] with the guests

[00:19:46] who aren't jerks,

[00:19:47] not the arsehole.

[00:19:49] And one more comment

[00:19:50] from Material Gas

[00:19:51] who says,

[00:19:51] not the arsehole,

[00:19:52] you spent two years

[00:19:53] planning your wedding

[00:19:54] and it's your special day.

[00:19:56] It's understandable

[00:19:57] to feel frustrated

[00:19:58] when people try

[00:19:59] to impose

[00:19:59] their beliefs

[00:20:00] last minute.

[00:20:01] If they weren't

[00:20:02] on board from the start,

[00:20:03] they should have

[00:20:03] spoken up sooner.

[00:20:04] You did what you had

[00:20:05] to do to protect

[00:20:06] your peace.

[00:20:08] Absolutely.

[00:20:08] I don't think

[00:20:09] there's really much

[00:20:10] more to say.

[00:20:11] Sounds like Opie's

[00:20:12] just got it handled.

[00:20:13] Whether they was

[00:20:14] to turn up

[00:20:15] at the wedding

[00:20:15] regardless

[00:20:16] is something else.

[00:20:18] And, you know,

[00:20:18] I'm sure there's

[00:20:19] the usual comments

[00:20:20] of having that security

[00:20:21] involved at your wedding,

[00:20:23] et cetera,

[00:20:23] et cetera,

[00:20:24] because we've seen

[00:20:25] some crazy-ass families

[00:20:26] on this channel,

[00:20:28] haven't we?

[00:20:29] One or two.

[00:20:31] But now,

[00:20:32] I'm going to turn

[00:20:33] this one to you guys.

[00:20:34] What do you guys

[00:20:34] make of this situation?

[00:20:37] Let us know

[00:20:37] your thoughts down

[00:20:38] in the comments below.

[00:20:40] Now, just a huge

[00:20:41] thank you from the

[00:20:42] bottom of my heart

[00:20:42] for getting involved

[00:20:43] in today's stories.

[00:20:44] Your love,

[00:20:45] your support,

[00:20:45] your time always

[00:20:46] means the absolute

[00:20:47] world to me.

[00:20:47] So thank you so,

[00:20:48] so much.

[00:20:49] And hopefully,

[00:20:49] I'll see you

[00:20:50] in the next one.

[00:20:51] Take care

[00:20:52] and much love.