I Hid My Wealth From My Partner And Now He's Furious About It r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from StrangeGene8213 and says, Am I the arsehole for hiding my family wealth from my boyfriend? So I, 17 female, have been dating my boyfriend Mike, 16 male, for about three months now. We're both juniors in high school and everything has been going really well between us. We met through mutual friends about eight months ago and hit it off quickly. He's funny, kind and down to earth. We have an amazing relationship but our financial situations are different.

[00:00:51] My family is pretty well off. Not rich, rich. No mansions, yachts, etc. But we live in a nice house, take one to two vacations per year and I don't really have to stress about money. I only work just so I'm not sitting at home doing nothing. That being said, I've always been taught not to flaunt it nor bring it up. We drive normal cars and live a fairly average lifestyle. Even if we have more savings than others, I never talk about money with people. Mike's family doesn't care.

[00:01:21] He's mentioned how they struggle sometimes to pay bills and how they have to budget for everything. Because of this, he's made a few comments about rich kids being spoiled or out of touch, which is why I didn't bring up my family's situation.

[00:01:35] I didn't want him to see me differently or feel awkward about the differences between us. I don't care what his financial situation is. I love him anyway. He's seen my house and knows my parents run a business, but he doesn't know about all my parents' assets.

[00:01:50] Which make a lot more money and is what keeps us comfortable. So, he doesn't know how much we really have.

[00:01:56] Well, recently Mike and I had dinner with my family along with cousins. We all sat down and talked about traveling in general.

[00:02:03] And one of my cousins mentioned the vacation home my parents had. She was talking about the cabin we had in the mountains.

[00:02:09] Our family loves camping and hiking, so we vacation there sometimes.

[00:02:14] Mike went quiet, but I could tell something was up.

[00:02:17] Later, when we were alone, he asked why I never told him that my family had so much money.

[00:02:23] I tried to explain that it wasn't something I thought was important, and I didn't want him to feel weird about it.

[00:02:29] Besides, he knew I was more well-off than him. He just didn't know the full extent.

[00:02:34] That's when he got a bit upset and said something that caught me off guard.

[00:02:37] He mentioned how I could have helped him out with some of the things he's been struggling with financially, like gas money or when his car needed repairs a few months ago.

[00:02:47] Mike said that he was not asking for handouts, but he said it feels like I was hiding something from him when I could have made things easier.

[00:02:53] I told him I didn't want to make things awkward between us by offering money, and I didn't think it was my place to get involved with his finances.

[00:03:01] But now, he says it feels like I wasn't being honest and that maybe I don't trust him enough to share that part of my life.

[00:03:07] Over the next few weeks, Mike started getting a little invasive.

[00:03:11] He looked up my house on Zillow and was shocked at the value.

[00:03:15] Mike showed me a screen and he was upset that he didn't know how rich we were.

[00:03:20] He also started looking at my family members' social media sites to see what they do and how rich they are.

[00:03:25] Cousins, uncles, aunts.

[00:03:27] I got really mad at him and told him I didn't appreciate him digging through my family life and my finances and not his business.

[00:03:35] I asked him to stop being weird.

[00:03:37] Mike then responded he was trying to fully understand what my lifestyle is like, but I think he's going completely off the rails.

[00:03:45] I didn't mean for it to turn into such a big deal.

[00:03:48] I was just trying to avoid making him feel uncomfortable or like he was less than me.

[00:03:52] I also believed my family finances are irrelevant and now I'm wondering if I should be more open from the start.

[00:04:00] Am I the arsehole?

[00:04:03] The bloody cheeky so-and-so.

[00:04:05] Three months you've been together and he's expecting you to pay for things for him.

[00:04:10] He's expecting to know your financial details.

[00:04:12] He's looking up your family members' jobs and getting angry about how much your house is worth.

[00:04:16] Yeah, that's red flags all around for me.

[00:04:18] Get out of there.

[00:04:19] And it doesn't even sound like it's OP's money.

[00:04:22] It's the parents' money he's getting all butthurt about.

[00:04:25] Very, very strange behavior.

[00:04:27] But Hugh Chalot says you're teenagers, dating for three months and you should help him fix his car or give him funds in general.

[00:04:33] No, no and fuck no.

[00:04:36] He's been invaded by the green-eyed envy monster and he no longer sees you as his girlfriend but as a potential ATM.

[00:04:42] Your family's finances are irrelevant to him.

[00:04:45] It's none of his business, period.

[00:04:47] On the plus side, it didn't take long to see what kind of person he is, no?

[00:04:50] Were you supposed to swish like in Real Housewives and tell your chauffeur to wait outside the classroom?

[00:04:56] How ridiculous.

[00:04:57] You're so not the arsehole.

[00:04:59] You're just a girl who likes, liked, a boy who turned out to be a gold digger.

[00:05:04] And they claim it's always a woman.

[00:05:07] Please.

[00:05:08] The moxie says not the arsehole.

[00:05:10] His response is completely inappropriate and you're not the arsehole.

[00:05:14] The reason you didn't want to tell him is exactly what happened when he found out anyways.

[00:05:18] You tried your best but I think he's harboring some resentment and can't separate your family situation from you.

[00:05:24] I'd say this relationship has run its course but it's not your fault that he let this poison your relationship.

[00:05:31] Recent data says not the arsehole.

[00:05:33] I'm sorry to say this but he is the exact person you're trying to avoid.

[00:05:37] He talks like he doesn't like wealthy people but now that he realizes you are one,

[00:05:41] he's making a list of things for you to pay for.

[00:05:43] He doesn't respect your family for living below their means and saving their money.

[00:05:48] The balance in your relationship is gone.

[00:05:50] We expect you to pay for more dates.

[00:05:53] OK Astronaut replies to that and said this.

[00:05:55] It's infuriating when people behave like those with better financial situations got there by money falling out the sky so they should share.

[00:06:02] Not denying imbalance in society but to immediately feel entitled to be given something just because is alarming.

[00:06:09] Lots of people work very hard and plan well to afford what they have

[00:06:12] and lots are not doing as well because of some poor decisions.

[00:06:16] So then OP came in with their update and says

[00:06:19] So when I made the original post it was a few days after our argument.

[00:06:22] I wasn't going to post an update but lots of people wanted one and stuff actually happened so here we go.

[00:06:29] Yesterday I called Mike and asked if we could meet up for a coffee to discuss what to do next.

[00:06:34] He agreed.

[00:06:35] As we talked I explained my family's finances are private and it was not my business to tell other people.

[00:06:40] The money isn't even technically mine, it's my parents.

[00:06:43] This is why I didn't tell him.

[00:06:46] Mike didn't take this very well.

[00:06:48] He asked me how I could just watch him struggle for months and not do anything.

[00:06:51] They've already been together three months right?

[00:06:53] Anyway, how I pretended to feel bad for him when I didn't even understand how bad his life was.

[00:06:59] I responded that I did feel bad and I have been supportive.

[00:07:03] I tried to get him a job at my parents grocery store but he didn't like it so he refused.

[00:07:07] I would always give rides to him since gas was expensive.

[00:07:11] I offered gas money whenever he did drive me but he always refused since he wanted to pay for me.

[00:07:16] Even just emotionally I was trying to be as supportive as I could when he was stressed.

[00:07:21] Acknowledged that I don't understand how hard his life is because I've never lived it.

[00:07:25] But I've done my best to be supportive emotionally.

[00:07:28] Mike just dismissed all of that and said that wasn't the point.

[00:07:31] He said that for him the money wasn't the issue, it was trust.

[00:07:35] He felt that I had kept something significant from him and he's wondering what else I was hiding.

[00:07:40] He said that he wasn't asking for handouts but knowing I had the means to help him out but chose not to made him feel unsupported.

[00:07:48] Mike explained he felt like there was a huge gap between us now and he will never be equal to me.

[00:07:53] He told me there was no reason for me to hide such a big secret from him.

[00:07:56] At this point, I got angry.

[00:07:59] I corrected him saying he was asking for handouts.

[00:08:02] I mentioned our previous conversation of how he said that I could have helped with his car and gas.

[00:08:07] I explained the money he so desperately wanted wasn't even mine, it's my family's.

[00:08:12] I told him that he wasn't entitled to the money my parents spent over two decades earning.

[00:08:16] I couldn't just bail him out of whatever problems he has with money.

[00:08:20] I went back to how I did support him, just not financially.

[00:08:23] I'm ashamed to admit that I did kind of lose my cool here and almost started yelling.

[00:08:29] After that, I calmed down and explained that I would never shame him for his struggles.

[00:08:34] My family never has either.

[00:08:35] They love him.

[00:08:36] We don't care about how much money someone has.

[00:08:39] We talked for some more, but I eventually told him I wanted to break up.

[00:08:43] It wasn't because he was upset I hid my wealth, but it was for digging into my family members' lives.

[00:08:49] I told him that I was extremely invasive and I couldn't forgive that and I couldn't feel comfortable around someone who would do that.

[00:08:55] It was a breach of trust for me.

[00:08:57] Mike also told me he wanted to break up since he didn't feel comfortable in a relationship where the financial gap is so big

[00:09:04] and that our lives were just too different.

[00:09:06] We ended the conversation and parted ways.

[00:09:09] The good thing is he goes to a different school, so I won't be seeing him around.

[00:09:13] Part of me feels sad since I do love him.

[00:09:16] It was my first relationship and I wanted it to work.

[00:09:19] But I also feel relieved because I wasn't sure if I could take whatever Mike would do if I stayed.

[00:09:24] I really didn't like him snooping in my family's lives.

[00:09:27] I'm wondering if I made a mistake ending the relationship now and it really, really sucks.

[00:09:32] Was I too harsh?

[00:09:34] I'm not even sure.

[00:09:35] I don't think I'll be dating anytime soon.

[00:09:37] I'm not too eager now.

[00:09:38] And just to be clear, I don't hate Mike.

[00:09:41] I do think he probably just never saw money like us and that he was just shocked in general.

[00:09:46] And I get that he is 16 and I'm sure he will grow out of this mentality.

[00:09:50] I hope he does have a better life, but I can't continue with him.

[00:09:52] I don't like that he tried to dig into my family members' lives.

[00:09:56] I also want to clarify things.

[00:09:58] A lot of people were asking about the car.

[00:10:01] Mike's car is old and used and it was gifted to him by his uncle since he doesn't use it anymore.

[00:10:06] At about 8 years old, Mike didn't buy the car.

[00:10:08] Mike doesn't know the true value of my parents' money.

[00:10:11] That's why he was digging around.

[00:10:13] It seems like people on Reddit thought that I was perceived middle class or poor.

[00:10:17] I never was.

[00:10:18] Mike and others knew I lived a life that was well off.

[00:10:21] I just never talked about money, that's all.

[00:10:24] Mike does not know about my parents' other assets.

[00:10:26] He started thinking we had more money than he thought because he found out about the vacation home.

[00:10:31] That's why he tried digging through my family's information.

[00:10:34] He still doesn't even know close to anything since my parents keep their assets secret.

[00:10:39] Even I don't know them.

[00:10:40] People don't start digging into it until you give them a reason to.

[00:10:44] Okay, so apparently 8 years is not old for a car.

[00:10:47] Sorry, I don't know how cars work.

[00:10:48] But it's been heavily used anyway.

[00:10:51] I was going to say, I think my car's 8 years old.

[00:10:54] But the absolute entitlement of this person to expect to want to know your financial information,

[00:11:00] your family's financial information.

[00:11:03] Yeah, this was just never going to work out after that.

[00:11:06] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:11:09] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:11:12] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:11:15] And let's move on to another story.

[00:11:19] And our next story comes from NoDress9576 from the Am I the Asshole subreddit.

[00:11:25] And it says, Am I the Asshole for asking a customer's kid not to touch something?

[00:11:31] Throw away because I literally made an account just to ask this.

[00:11:34] I, 24 male, work at a popular fast food restaurant.

[00:11:38] I've been working here since this location opened.

[00:11:41] And I love working here.

[00:11:43] I like my co-workers, my boss is great, and I've never had any problems with customers.

[00:11:48] Until today.

[00:11:49] We have a self-serve drink machine near the front of the store.

[00:11:53] Today, a family of three came in.

[00:11:55] A mom, dad, and their daughter who looked about four or five.

[00:11:58] I was the cashier for the day, and dad came to take their order.

[00:12:02] While mom went to sit down at the benches, we have at the door to scroll on our phone.

[00:12:07] Their daughter, however, be lined to the drink station.

[00:12:10] Noticing the daughter about to stick her hands inside the spigot for the iced tea,

[00:12:14] which is separate from the soda machine.

[00:12:16] I calmly say, I didn't raise my voice at all.

[00:12:19] They and another family member in the store.

[00:12:22] Excuse me, little one.

[00:12:23] Could you please not touch that?

[00:12:24] Mom looked up from her phone, immediately got defensive, and yelled at me.

[00:12:29] Don't yell at my child, I'm right here.

[00:12:31] You could have just gotten my attention.

[00:12:33] Now, I get it.

[00:12:34] Stranger danger and all that.

[00:12:36] Don't want strangers talking to your child.

[00:12:38] However, I needed to stop her before she actually touched it.

[00:12:42] It's a health hazard.

[00:12:43] People get drinks out of that.

[00:12:45] And I don't know where your daughter's hands have been.

[00:12:47] Her entire family just came from outside.

[00:12:50] She could have had peanut butter residue or something on her hands,

[00:12:52] and the next person to drink out of it would have went into anaphylactic shock.

[00:12:57] And I didn't raise my voice.

[00:12:59] I used a gentle voice just to get her attention and not contaminate the spigot.

[00:13:03] I apologize to the mom and explain the above, minus the outside part.

[00:13:08] She, however, isn't having it,

[00:13:10] and yells at me again that she's right there and not to speak to her child.

[00:13:14] Dad is right there at the register,

[00:13:15] just waiting for this to finish so I can take his order.

[00:13:18] So I apologize to her again and turn to her husband to take his order.

[00:13:22] As soon as I turn to her husband, she's back on her phone,

[00:13:25] now with her daughter sitting next to her, hand around the shoulder.

[00:13:29] Am I the asshole?

[00:13:30] Should I have done anything differently?

[00:13:32] I've already told my boss,

[00:13:34] and after they left I still disinfected and sanitized the spigot,

[00:13:37] even though I stopped her before she touched it.

[00:13:40] I felt like if I did it while she was still there,

[00:13:42] she would have had another meltdown.

[00:13:45] Absolutely not the asshole in this situation at all,

[00:13:49] and I think that's pretty obvious.

[00:13:50] You know, it's the mother who should have been watching her kid at the time,

[00:13:53] not looking at her phone while her child was just touching anything she wanted.

[00:13:57] And even if it wasn't peanut butter or something that could cause an allergic reaction,

[00:14:02] it could have been anything.

[00:14:03] You know, I see kids with their fingers up their nose all the time.

[00:14:05] No one wants a booger in their iced tea.

[00:14:07] Although I probably agree with you that you were right,

[00:14:09] waiting to clean it until she left the store,

[00:14:12] because I guarantee she would have had a problem with it.

[00:14:15] Remember Glass-Arse says not the asshole.

[00:14:17] I would have told her that she needs to watch her child.

[00:14:20] I spent five years at Burger King and a year at Taco Bell.

[00:14:24] Customers are a huge pain in the ass,

[00:14:26] and at some point I just got sick of their bullshit.

[00:14:28] Like the people coming in asking for water glasses and then stealing soda.

[00:14:32] I once kicked a family out because their kid wasn't wearing shoes.

[00:14:35] Fine note replies that saying,

[00:14:37] Yep, it takes a village is real.

[00:14:40] Parenting is preparing your child for the real world,

[00:14:42] including how to interact appropriately in public spaces with other people.

[00:14:47] If you don't parent your kids,

[00:14:49] you don't get to be mad when the world does it for you.

[00:14:52] And chances they're not going to care about your feelings or your kid's feelings.

[00:14:56] Any rational parent would be apologetic and thankful in this situation.

[00:15:01] Suitable Doubt says not the asshole.

[00:15:03] Some people choose not to watch their children

[00:15:05] and then get upset when someone else says something to their child.

[00:15:08] Unfortunately, she will not be the last parent that you have to speak to about their child.

[00:15:12] You did it right, and you will have to do it again.

[00:15:15] Higgis replies that saying,

[00:15:17] People really need to understand that if you fail to parent your kid,

[00:15:20] someone else will.

[00:15:21] This time it was OP.

[00:15:22] It was very nice about it.

[00:15:24] Next time it might be someone who doesn't have the patience and kindness that OP has.

[00:15:28] Or someone who has bad intentions.

[00:15:31] Telleretsme says,

[00:15:32] I'm sorry you had to deal with yet another parent who isn't watching their children in public.

[00:15:37] It happens all the time.

[00:15:38] I check people's kids often in my place of business because it's also a liability.

[00:15:43] It truly takes a village to raise children and parents can't watch them 24-7.

[00:15:47] If I see something about to happen, I speak up directly to the child.

[00:15:51] It could have resulted in her pulling the whole iced tea down on her head.

[00:15:54] Her mom likely took it personally and felt that she was a bad parent in that moment.

[00:15:59] If a stranger had to check on her child because she wasn't watching.

[00:16:02] Don't let that stop you from speaking up when you need to in the future.

[00:16:06] And one more comment from Tarek861 who says,

[00:16:09] You absolutely acted appropriately.

[00:16:11] I would have declined to serve them after that.

[00:16:14] But then, I'm an old geezer without much patience.

[00:16:17] In fairness, my voice would have been above a conversational level when I said,

[00:16:21] Hey kid, keep your dirty hands off that.

[00:16:23] People's food comes from there.

[00:16:26] So, my mom would have suggested that she pull her head out of her phone and parent her child.

[00:16:31] Again, I reckon I you might not be in a position to do those things.

[00:16:34] One of the benefits of age is courage to sometimes do the right thing.

[00:16:38] Even if it's going to cause a ruckus.

[00:16:41] So, Opie came in with her update that said thanks for your feedback.

[00:16:44] While it may seem obvious I wasn't in the wrong,

[00:16:46] I was doubting myself since it was the first time I've witnessed someone

[00:16:49] got so defensive over their child doing something wrong.

[00:16:52] Just the other day we had a kid climb up on the table after not listening to his mom.

[00:16:56] But when I gently told him to get down and did, mom thanked me.

[00:17:00] So, other ladies' response kind of surprised me.

[00:17:03] So, today is my day off and I just got off the phone with my boss.

[00:17:06] I'm not in trouble and she reassured me about that.

[00:17:09] She called me to tell me that the mom came back and tried to complain.

[00:17:13] This is second hand from her.

[00:17:14] So, some of it might not be accurate.

[00:17:17] According to her, Lady came alone and tried to file a complaint that

[00:17:20] I screamed at her child and frightened her.

[00:17:23] I'm so glad the restaurant has cameras with audio.

[00:17:26] So, my boss played back the incident for mom to watch.

[00:17:29] Boss said she had to max out the volume because

[00:17:32] because she could almost not hear me over the generic music we have playing in the store.

[00:17:37] After the video played, Boss says to Lady,

[00:17:39] Say you want me to punish my worker for stopping your kid from messing up all the iced tea?

[00:17:44] Because if he hadn't, and she successfully did so,

[00:17:46] I would have made you pay for all the iced tea that she ruined.

[00:17:49] And she would have.

[00:17:51] My boss says a short middle-aged black lady from the south.

[00:17:54] She knows how to insult people and make it sound like a compliment.

[00:17:58] Don't worry, she doesn't use this power for evil.

[00:18:00] Not to mention, we had just made that tea.

[00:18:03] So, the container was near full.

[00:18:05] The container holds about five gallons.

[00:18:07] Boss said Lady got wide-eyed and backpedaled hard on her stance.

[00:18:11] Told her to thank me on my next shift and left the store.

[00:18:14] Then called me since she thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

[00:18:17] And now looking back on it, I kind of agree.

[00:18:20] I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off.

[00:18:22] Maybe stop by the store and buy my boss something nice.

[00:18:26] And it sounds like the boss is an absolute legend who has Opie's back

[00:18:30] and I always love to see that in a Reddit story.

[00:18:32] But on the back of these stories, what I always love to see is people with their own experiences.

[00:18:37] Princess Ferocious says,

[00:18:38] One of my nieces managed to get behind the counter in a bakery and poke a hole in an entire cake.

[00:18:44] Luckily, the cake was delicious because of course we paid for the whole thing

[00:18:47] and brought it home and shared it around.

[00:18:50] If you don't control your kids, you should expect to have to cover the costs.

[00:18:53] If that was my niece, I'd be like,

[00:18:55] Don't poke a hole in some more cakes.

[00:18:57] Free cake!

[00:18:58] No, I wouldn't do that really.

[00:19:00] Amy Funny Man says,

[00:19:01] At my workplace, we have to deal with parents like this all the time.

[00:19:05] My kid ruined three things of product

[00:19:07] and probably would have done more damage if my co-worker hadn't intervened.

[00:19:11] The co-worker was totally polite,

[00:19:13] basically just had the kid take responsibility and help clean up a bit.

[00:19:16] And lo and behold, the mum tried to file a complaint against them

[00:19:19] for rudely confronting their child or some other similar BS.

[00:19:23] She was so lucky we don't charge for damages to demo products like that.

[00:19:27] We just ride it off plus replace since usually people mean well.

[00:19:31] Accidents happen.

[00:19:32] Because I don't think she would have sung them the same tune

[00:19:34] if she had to pay what was at least $50 of product, if not more.

[00:19:39] The press says,

[00:19:40] I work in Walmart as a cashier for a while

[00:19:42] and had a kid that was aggressively spinning the bad carousel

[00:19:45] and then tried to climb on top to have their sibling spin them.

[00:19:49] I told them no, get off.

[00:19:50] That it was dangerous and I didn't want them to get hurt.

[00:19:53] The mum just like stared at the kid and said,

[00:19:55] you hurt the lady, get the fuck off.

[00:19:58] And one more little story from Lori Keet who says,

[00:20:00] I work retail and something really similar happened to me.

[00:20:03] A little girl around four to five sat down on the display shelf

[00:20:06] right next to the product that can be easily damaged.

[00:20:09] I asked her to please not sit on that in a normal, calm retail voice.

[00:20:14] Admittedly, I was tired because these people came in two minutes before closing,

[00:20:17] but I was not intentionally trying to be rude.

[00:20:20] Next thing I know, the whole family is leaving.

[00:20:23] Good.

[00:20:23] And the dad approaches me all macho like,

[00:20:25] don't you ever talk to my daughter like that again?

[00:20:27] You hear me?

[00:20:28] The daughter seemed fine.

[00:20:30] If anything, she was confused why they were suddenly leaving.

[00:20:33] Fuck parents like this.

[00:20:35] Who immediately gets pissy when someone beats them to parenting their child

[00:20:38] before their lazy asses do?

[00:20:41] Now, I know we've got a whole bunch of people that work in retail.

[00:20:44] So as always, if you have your own story to share,

[00:20:47] don't forget to let us know down in the comments below.

[00:20:50] Always love to see you guys getting involved.

[00:20:52] And once again, thank you so much for being here today.

[00:20:55] Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time

[00:20:58] always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:00] So thank you so, so much for being involved.

[00:21:02] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:04] Take care and much love.