I Hate My Wife's Creepy Hobby Project And It's Getting Worse r/Relationships

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[00:00:38] Much love guys! Today's first story comes from a throwaway account and says am I the arsehole here for hating my wife's creepy hobby project? Ok, this sounds insane but I swear my wife is totally normal otherwise. Which makes this so strange to me. For context we're both in our late 30s and live in a pretty typical suburban neighbourhood where we all know each other.

[00:01:03] My wife has always loved trashy movies and shows about infidelities and she eats up true crime about spouses killing their cheating partners too. She just says something about it makes her morbidly fascinated in her words. Well, a couple of months back we had a scandal in our neighbourhood where a married couple in the neighbourhood divorced because the husband cheated. No, there wasn't a murder or anything like that but she became obsessed with learning every detail from every neighbour.

[00:01:32] No matter the occasion, be it a baby shower or cookout she would bring it up hoping there would be any new information. A month later is when I stumbled on the board in her home office. I was doing some cleaning and I found a massive bulletin board facing away leaned up against the wall. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned it around to find a literal fucking conspiracy board of all of our neighbours.

[00:01:58] Pictures with lines of yarn connecting each other like the fucking Pepe Sylvia meme. I was totally confused and asked what this was and she told me it was a hobby she had started recently where she would track rumours or likely candidates for cheating on the board. The yarn represented who was possibly cheating with whom. She had clearly gotten all the images on Facebook or some social media and printed them out and even had a few sticky notes with details.

[00:02:26] I told her this was creepy and insane and she said maybe if I was doing it as a man but she is just having harmless fun as a hobby and she wouldn't be crazy and try to oust anyone based on rumours. She just likes feeling like a detective. She told me to view it like a creative art piece.

[00:02:42] I was still super weirded out but let it go or tried. I thought about it a lot. Well every now and then I admit to checking the board when cleaning but just a couple of days ago I looked to see that now I was on the board with a yarn attached to a neighbours wife I am casual friends with. I asked her why she would add me and if she thought I was cheating and she said that was a different yarn colour for potential matches for cheating.

[00:03:09] She said if it makes me feel better she was planning on adding herself to the board soon. But I got pissed and kinda lost my temper about it. I told her to get rid of the board or our marriage will be in trouble. Things have been super rocky since. Sorry for the long post. I'm starting to feel bad and it hit me more than usual this morning. Should I apologise to her? And before you ask, no. I didn't suspect her of cheating. Honestly, I wish she was because it would at least make more sense than this.

[00:03:38] Am I the arsehole? It just kept getting wilder and wilder as this one went on. At first when it said, you know, loving trashy movies about infidelities, I was gonna say, well, you know, I can't complain. I read stories about it every single day, you know. And her eating up true crime. I watch true crime all the time. But as it went on and on, she added you to the board for matches for cheating. And then she said if it makes you feel better, she was planning on adding herself.

[00:04:05] Now, I would have left that and seen who she potentially matches with. Because, you know, that's worrying in itself. That she's gonna match herself to someone else. But shut up, I'm lurking, bro. Says I really couldn't see it getting weirder. Until she mentioned adding herself to the board. This is a strange game your wife's playing and it seems like an unhealthy obsession with infidelity. Environmental Metal says, Right. Is this a way of admitting to cheating? I'm so confused. Good Focus says,

[00:04:36] Not the arsehole. I'm a big fan of true crime myself and can be nosy about neighborhood gossip. I would use my yarn to crochet stuff while I watch or listen to true crime YouTube channels. It's absolutely creepy for her to print out pictures of her neighbors and then speculating about you and another neighbor. You don't have to be okay with whatever your spouse does. I would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. So, Opie comes in with an update and says anyway, Jesus Christ. Firstly, appreciate all the concern and not the arseholes.

[00:05:06] It gave me the courage to approach her and tell her that while I may have overreacted by threatening our marriage, I think it is a creepy thing to do. She apologized and said she would get rid of the board. I thought we were good. Literally two days later, TWO DAYS LATER, SHIT HITS THE FAN. A happily married next door neighbor finds a woman's bra under the bed that does not belong to her. It doesn't take long for the whole neighborhood to find out.

[00:05:33] Well, my wife is giddy, like jumping up and down for joy. She shows me the board, which she still didn't trash like she promised, and of course the husband was marked with yarn, meaning he was likely to cheat. She told me the board was accurate after all, and maybe she should keep her hobby around. I was definitely suspicious, so I looked at the board again later. It looked different from the last time I saw it before the latest scandal. Instead of the yarn connecting to another neighbor,

[00:06:02] the cheating husband's yarn connected to a post-it with a question mark. Firstly, it was the only question mark there, and I swore it wasn't there last time I saw the board. So either she changed it after the cheating to prove a point, or slightly before it happened, which made me even more suspicious either way. Now, I felt like I was the detective and I was going crazy. I went over to the cheating husband's to ask a few questions. The wife was staying at her parents' so it was just the two of us.

[00:06:31] I asked him if he actually did it, and he said no, he would never. Then I asked if my wife had been over recently. He said one day while you're at work his wife asked her to water a plant they had while they were both away, and told her where the key was. So yes. I immediately raised an eyebrow. I asked if he still had the bra, and he was getting nervous, and told me not to get the wrong idea. I said don't worry. He still had the bra, and I looked at it.

[00:06:57] It was my wife's, but one I knew she almost never wore because it was from a lingerie set I bought her one Christmas she said was uncomfortable. I told my neighbor I needed to talk to my wife and ran out, but I told him not to worry. I approached her with a bra and asked her what was going on. She played stupid, but I told her to cut the BS. I asked her if she had either cheated on me with him or planted it there. Either way, she was in trouble.

[00:07:22] She confessed to planting the bra and said it was to make me admit her hobby was valid or something. I flipped on her. I said this was worse than her cheating on me because instead of ruining just our marriage, she ruined our neighbors and ours. I demanded she call the wife and admit to everything, even sending pictures of the board. I even showed the Reddit post which actually helped convince her my wife had planted it rather than cheated with her husband. Well, they made up now, but I have no idea what to do.

[00:07:50] I'm barely speaking to my wife and it's only a matter of time before the entire neighborhood figures this out. I seriously need advice. Now, you can probably imagine what the comments are like on this, but we'll cover a couple before we move on to another update. The first one was from Cool Description who says, Honestly, I refuse to believe this is real. Your wife is actually nuts. This is insane behavior to have. Cheeseball Fondue says, I was thinking just the opposite. This one is so original, it's got to be real.

[00:08:20] No AI is going to come up with this insanity. That's left to humans. Blue Cougar says, One word, divorce. I'm sorry, but your wife deliberately interfered with someone else's marriage to the point where it could have been ruined. Just so she could validate her hobby. She did not validate it. What she did is inexcusable in my opinion. Another commenter says, I was suspicious she planted the bra as soon as he said she was giddy to hear the news. His wife is certifiable.

[00:08:49] And the comments pretty much carried along those lines. Some people find it unbelievable. Some people said, you know, Crazier stuff happens in the world. But Opie comes in with what they title their final update. It says, It's been months since the last update. Sorry, I've been busy. Long story short, My wife is in a mental health facility. After what happened previously, I did not speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could.

[00:09:19] Well, a few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally, my wife offered to take me out to a very nice dinner to make things up to me. She told me everything was behind her. And while I was avoiding her, She'd actually started online therapy to get help and realize now what she did was wrong. I really believed her and we had a great night. One thing led to another that night. And yeah, lol. It took about two days after that for her to get a pregnancy test. And she texts me the positive result.

[00:09:48] Yeah, I know some of you already think I'm a fucking moron. But it has been a rough year and this made me really happy. I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office to a baby room, Looking up ways to prepare, Booking appointments, Planning a shower, Etc. A really fun but whirlwind week. Unfortunately, She told me the first ultrasound was at a time I had to be at work and she would have to go alone.

[00:10:14] Really bummed me out and I asked her to reschedule but she said it was the only availability. Well, that next week she went and I was waiting for an update or pictures or anything. Nothing. She came home and was super quiet and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst had happened. I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain about something but she had to tell me. She finally admitted, No, it wasn't a miscarriage. But she was actually pregnant for longer than she thought. Longer than the last time we did it.

[00:10:44] She actually got pregnant during the time I was avoiding her. Obviously, I was so mad and upset I couldn't understand why she would do this to me. But then I realized all the signs were there for so long and all the comments telling me she was probably cheating was right. But I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really loved my wife and couldn't believe it. I asked her who it could have been and she actually said she didn't know. She said she hadn't done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her.

[00:11:12] She swore it and also didn't know what this meant. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, her tummy should be showing and it wasn't. I decided to call the place and ask them to confirm what they said. My wife told me it would be a waste of time and she promised she heard them clearly. So I didn't do it that night. But I couldn't sleep that night without hearing it from the doctors myself. I called the clinic she told me she went to the day before in the morning and asked them to confirm the results.

[00:11:42] They told me something worse than I expected. She had no visit. She was never there. I didn't understand that at all. Before I talked to my wife again, I did what I should have done in the first place. And reverse image search the pregnancy test image. Yeah, it was on Google from random years old Facebook post. I was again really mad at my wife and couldn't believe she had put me through all this. I confronted her about the picture and that I called the place and there was no appointment.

[00:12:09] I told her she had a pattern of lying and this was probably the end of our relationship. But she responded in a way I didn't expect. She burst into tears and went manic, which I did expect. But then said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant. And that I had made this up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me. But then said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant. And that I had made this up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me.

[00:12:38] She said she felt like the devil and Hitler and started sobbing, literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She locked herself in the bathroom and told me she was going to kill herself over what she did to me. I couldn't get the door open and freaked out. I called the cops and they broke the door down. She was not hurt but she was really out of it. They took her to get a mental evaluation and she told them everything there. She even started mixing in stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a cheater

[00:13:06] so she had done the same because she was in an evil place. She promised them she was pregnant but didn't know who the father was. They tested her while in custody and no pregnancy at all. They told me she was likely suffering from a form of schizophrenia and actually genuinely believed what she was saying and likely always had to some level but it seemed to be getting worse. They said she had a symptom called self-accusation and needed help. Well, I got her in a facility last week and she is safe.

[00:13:36] We are making a little progress. I do not think she is pregnant anymore. I have visited a few times but she is very withdrawn with me and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye. I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence but now I just feel terrible. I did not get her the help she needed when all the real signs were there. I hope her medication starts to help and she can be normal again. And yeah, the neighborhood gossip is having a field day with all of this. Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope this is my last update.

[00:14:06] Thanks for all the help. Edits. My wife has been to the clinic before and I am an authorized contact. I can ask about her appointments. Also local areas so I know the front desk lady. She was confused as I was when she saw there was no appointment scheduled and no record of her going. Why didn't all you losers shove a fork up your ass and twist it? Also never responding to comments and honestly debating adding this edit. Fuck off kindly or unkindly.

[00:14:32] On the back of that final update, Comfortable Focus says she was probably suffering from mental illness for a while. The recovery will be a long process. I've been through something similar as this and finally divorce years after. I wish you luck and advise you to get some counseling yourself to learn how to deal with this. Good luck. Ninja Star Kid says not the asshole. Don't beat yourself up OP. It's not always an easy thing to identify and slash or accept. Especially with loved ones.

[00:15:01] No one wants to think their loved one is having some sort of mental health crisis. So they will see any other option as the truth over the actual truth. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human. Honestly, I think you have an incredible patience to stick with her despite everything. I hope all the best to you and your wife and a speedy recovery for all involved. And that was OP's last post on the matter. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:15:30] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. And our next story someone sent me over on Twitter. It's from ConsistentOlive604 from the Am I the Asshole here subreddit. I saw a title and I was like, what? It says, Am I the Asshole for refusing to leave a wedding because I wore a dress that looks white under a black light? A few months ago, I attended a close friend's wedding with my husband.

[00:16:00] I wore a yellow dress. Think like Belle in Beauty of the Beast yellow. Bumblebee yellow. So yellow that I did not question if it was appropriate or not to wear to a wedding. And neither did my friends nor family. I arrive at the wedding. We have the ceremony, the cocktail hour, the dinner and the reception. I get many compliments on the dress. The bride even comments on how much she loves it several times. Ooh.

[00:16:26] Towards the end of the reception, the venue dimmed the lights and turned on some black lights. These black lights made my dress appear more white than yellow. A member of the wedding party approached me while the black lights were on and stated that I need to leave because my dress was white and inappropriate. I stated that the dress was yellow but the black lights were making it appear white. The member of the wedding party stated that if I didn't leave, she would make me. I stated that I'm here to celebrate my friend.

[00:16:56] Repeated that the dress was yellow and said I would not be leaving early. Bride and groom hadn't left yet and I came from overseas. The conversation, while heated, did not have raised voices or foul language from either side. But I will say it was tense. The wedding party member walked off and I watched as they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction. The groom shrugged and continued to dance. The next morning I was approached by a different friend at breakfast,

[00:17:25] not in the wedding party, who stated that they heard what happened and that I should have left when asked because it made people uncomfortable and that I made it about me partying rather than respecting wedding etiquette. I felt incredibly embarrassed about this since. So am I the arsehole for not leaving the wedding when asked? OP shared an image of what they said was a similar dress, like especially in the color and let me tell you, it is bright yellow. I don't think you can get more yellow than that.

[00:17:55] OP continued to say, It was the last hour or so and just a way to have fun. It was not as weird or as tacky as people are making it out to be. At first, as I was going through this, I thought it was going to go down the path of, you know, the bride after the compliments towards your dress several times that was going to be like, didn't like that you was overshadowing her dress or something along those lines.

[00:18:23] But by the end, I'm not sure if it was, especially with the groom, you know, just like shrugging like, who gives a shit? It was just some shit stirrer in the crowd who was trying to cause up a bit of trouble. I mean, I guess it could still be the bride, I don't know. It's such a weird thing to get offended over though as well, especially when the person saying, this dress is actually yellow. We'll just take you out of the room and show you that it's bright yellow. Is everyone expected to check their clothing under black light from now on? I've got to be honest though,

[00:18:52] I did find the black light stuff hilarious. I had to turn the mic off because I was laughing, just imagining that scene about, you know, a full day at this wedding, cocktail hour, you know, dancing a bit later on. I imagine there were some, uh, some sights. But Ducky says, not the asshole. Who checks their attire under black lights to see if it passes? Ridiculousness. I understand if it appeared white under normal lights, but come on. This was an unusual situation at the end of the reception.

[00:19:21] You're fine. And whomever approached you was completely and utterly out of line. Some people have nothing better to do than look for problems that don't exist. Hopey says, I agree about passing under a black lights beforehand. It's not something I even thought about. Sugar syrup guzzler says, not the asshole. Did the bride even care? Sounds like friends making pointless drama, considering they went to the groom, not the bride. And if the bride cared, the groom would have known. You might give the bride a call and explore. If she was offended,

[00:19:51] apologize and explain. It's up to her to accept or not. I mean, it's not like your dress was white during the ceremony. Consistent says, OP replies saying, I've seen the bride and groom since, and they acted completely fine and normal. I was too scared to bring it up, but if they were really mad, I don't think they would be the types to reach out and hang out. Tyrion's red coat says, you're nicer than me because I would be spilling, oh, that tea. And let's have one more comment who says, let me get this right.

[00:20:21] You came from overseas, invested quite a lot of money to attend the wedding. The bride hardly approved your attire. Then someone decides to change the lighting and you're treated like that. And the bride and groom didn't put an immediate stop to their incredibly rude wedding party attire police. Unacceptable on the part of the bride and groom. You were owed a huge apology. Not the arsehole. Yeah, after that, I kind of feel like the bride didn't have a clue what was going on. Groom was probably just like, oh, fucking,

[00:20:50] I can't be dealing with this shit right now. It's my wedding day, you know, maybe, maybe not. Who knows? But how would you deal with this situation? There's some wild people out there, right? Anyway, let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. Wake up. Wake up. Get up.

[00:21:20] Stretch mine. Brush mine. Teeth up. I can smell the smoke from the bacon. See the sun shining from the windows.