I Had The Opportunity To Blow Up All Of My Friends Lives After What They Did To Me r/Relationships

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[00:00:36] Today's first story comes from VisualCow657 from the true off my chest subreddit and says,

[00:00:46] I had the opportunity for revenge, but I couldn't do it. This came with an update 11 months later as well.

[00:00:53] The first part of the post says,

[00:00:55] I found out a month ago that the love of my life and my best friend have been having an affair for at least the past year.

[00:01:02] After looking into it more, not only did all of our friends know, but they have also been actively hanging out with them.

[00:01:09] I'm a socially awkward individual so making friends for me is hard. I met all of them through my best friend.

[00:01:17] So I guess it is natural that they chose him over me.

[00:01:20] I hated all of them.

[00:01:22] I spent 24-7 with one of them when their parents died because they didn't want to be alone and were a danger to himself.

[00:01:29] I was there for another when her boss was harassing her and she needed help to find a new job.

[00:01:34] I let another one stay at my place for free for three months because his parents kicked him out when he told them he was gay.

[00:01:41] All six of those assholes have been through so much and I was there for every one of them.

[00:01:47] Now I realize they all just kept me around to use me when they needed, including my girlfriend and best friend.

[00:01:53] I helped the man start his business when no one would invest in him.

[00:01:57] He still hasn't really taken off and he still asked for my time to help him do things.

[00:02:01] I've been working day and night to help her pay off the medical bills from her surgery after she had an accident.

[00:02:06] I've been out of the house for a few months because my mother was sick and I needed to help her.

[00:02:12] But I still commute back 10 hours every weekend to make sure my girlfriend is doing alright.

[00:02:17] I've gone through a phone and sent all the pictures, the flirty messages and the group chats.

[00:02:23] All of them planning outings, meetings and whatnot.

[00:02:26] I've seen their disparaging messages about me, the I love you's and them basically flip flopping between still loving me, leaving me, not wanting to hurt me anymore and then realizing they need me.

[00:02:37] They all still need me.

[00:02:39] I was pissed and I mean I was so angry I scared myself.

[00:02:44] The thing about being the go to guy for help and being the quiet one is that people trust you.

[00:02:49] They tell you things, things that can get you in a lot of trouble.

[00:02:52] I spent the past month preparing my plan, getting everything in order to absolutely implode their lives in a way you can never recover without someone altruistically helping you out.

[00:03:02] But who will help them?

[00:03:04] Not me.

[00:03:05] And they can ask each other because they will all be in the same damn boat.

[00:03:10] Everything was ready.

[00:03:11] I had pictures, videos and text logs.

[00:03:14] The lease would be up in December and I wasn't renewing that.

[00:03:17] I have a job lined up in which I would pay less but I know I will enjoy.

[00:03:21] All my main items were out and the rest I didn't care for.

[00:03:24] I pretended to go out to my mum's.

[00:03:27] I waited an hour and came back.

[00:03:29] I could see them through the windows.

[00:03:31] Him and her cuddling and kissing while they all sat around chatting like it's a regular day.

[00:03:36] I took a picture of that scene.

[00:03:38] I was ready to send the text and emails basically ready to set their lives ablaze.

[00:03:43] I couldn't.

[00:03:44] No matter how much someone has hurt me.

[00:03:46] I can't be responsible to ruining someone's life.

[00:03:50] Sure, they did the things and I was just unearthing them.

[00:03:53] It would still have been my decision that burned them all and it would have been collateral damage to people who did nothing.

[00:03:59] I had come this far and had to do something.

[00:04:02] So I just sent the picture in a group chat and looked in.

[00:04:05] One by one they checked the message and started panicking, I guess.

[00:04:09] One of them finally spots my car and I see them all look at me.

[00:04:12] I don't know what was going on in their heads.

[00:04:15] Was it panic, regret, guilt, sadness?

[00:04:17] Who knows?

[00:04:19] I started my car and as I started driving off,

[00:04:21] my ex came out barefoot in the cold moving as fast as she could in her state.

[00:04:25] I don't know if she was crying because of guilt or regret, but I didn't care.

[00:04:29] I drove off to my mum.

[00:04:31] They called me a bunch of times and sent me thousands of messages.

[00:04:35] I used to read all of them and with each one I felt less for them.

[00:04:39] It went from asking for forgiveness to anger to grovelling,

[00:04:43] basically to questions about how they would do the things I used to do for all of them.

[00:04:47] I don't care.

[00:04:48] I'm getting a new number on Monday.

[00:04:50] I still get a new sobbing voicemail from my ex every 20 to 30 minutes asking for me to come back.

[00:04:56] I get texts from my ex best friend to come back and beat him up that he would sell everything he owns and give it to me.

[00:05:02] My friends apologizing for their past and wanting to be pals again.

[00:05:06] I don't know what drives this, but they know I've read some of them.

[00:05:10] I think I'm over it.

[00:05:11] I don't feel angry anymore.

[00:05:12] I feel happy I didn't do what they did to me.

[00:05:15] It would have never been satisfying for me.

[00:05:17] I personally liked the way that you handled it in that situation.

[00:05:21] Yeah, you could have went down this huge explosive route if you really wanted to, but you didn't.

[00:05:27] And that one picture you sent really showed everything.

[00:05:31] Of course, it's going to be absolutely devastating for you.

[00:05:34] And I'm not meaning to downplay that in any way, but you sent them that picture of all of them.

[00:05:39] Your so-called friend group, your best friend, your girlfriend, and whoever else was there.

[00:05:44] The people that you should have been able to trust most.

[00:05:46] That picture is a memory of all of them backstabbing you in that moment.

[00:05:50] And the absolute bunch of cheeky bastards to expect some kind of forgiveness from you.

[00:05:56] How? There'd be no way you'd be able to move past that.

[00:05:59] All these people that have been talking behind your back as a group, your girlfriend, your best friend,

[00:06:03] all knew, all kept you in the dark and didn't give a shit till they were all caught.

[00:06:08] But a user says to OP, that's a level of maturity and self-control that most people don't possess.

[00:06:14] And with qualities like that, you will draw better people towards you.

[00:06:17] You've learned your lesson.

[00:06:19] There are givers and there are takers and there are those with a healthy balance of both.

[00:06:23] Onwards and upwards OP.

[00:06:25] A friend, a partner like you is like finding a diamond in today's dating pool.

[00:06:29] Technical Pumpkin says, I'm sorry that those fake people, ex, ex-boyfriend, ex-friend,

[00:06:35] betrayed and hurt you that much.

[00:06:36] Reading your story brings back bad memories and you get me.

[00:06:39] The fact that you chose to not do what you prepared showed how different you are from those people.

[00:06:45] They are pests.

[00:06:46] They can't live without the support of others.

[00:06:48] You think you didn't get your revenge.

[00:06:50] How wrong can you be?

[00:06:52] Their conscious finally wakes up and right now it's eating them inside.

[00:06:56] It's good that you already have a few, it's good that you already have things for a new beginning,

[00:07:00] but seeing a therapist can be necessary.

[00:07:02] Right now you feel a relief, but it's a mirage.

[00:07:05] It will stop sooner or later, so be careful.

[00:07:07] The level of betrayal is really high.

[00:07:10] You should talk about it to be able to exercise that and move on in your life.

[00:07:14] I really hope you will heal, find peace and be happy.

[00:07:17] But don't let them change you.

[00:07:19] Don't let them win because the world needs more people like you,

[00:07:22] but has a heart like yours who cares about others.

[00:07:25] Be proud of yourself because I am.

[00:07:28] Wish you well.

[00:07:29] A girl with a dragon tattoo says I'm genuinely so sorry.

[00:07:32] I've been in a situation very near this and I can say the best revenge

[00:07:36] is to let these miserable humans go and find your own happiness.

[00:07:41] I used to occasionally hear from them much later.

[00:07:44] They got stuck in the anger space when I stopped responding

[00:07:46] and they all apologized and realized that I'm a good person who had genuine love for them.

[00:07:51] It's sad for them, but to be honest, it taught me that I deserve the energy I give.

[00:07:55] Not reciprocation, but reciprocity.

[00:07:57] It's a weird kind of catharsis that comes with being the bigger person and refusing to dip into the toxicity with them.

[00:08:03] It sucks and anger was definitely the easier route, but I had to worry about living with myself in the end.

[00:08:10] Then trying to get back at others.

[00:08:12] Good luck and please enjoy your fresh start.

[00:08:15] You deserve people who care for you as you care for them.

[00:08:19] And one more comment which says you made the decision you felt was best at the moment.

[00:08:24] Block all of them on everything and leave them behind.

[00:08:26] It will drive them insane that you don't think they are worthy of a response or an opportunity for them to explain.

[00:08:33] The biggest flex will always be that you walked away like none of these people meant anything to you

[00:08:37] after years of relationships and being their support system, ready to start a new chapter.

[00:08:43] You will be the one that is now viewed as someone that isn't going to let people steamroll you.

[00:08:47] And that will make you a wild card to them.

[00:08:50] If they ever meet you again.

[00:08:51] And if you ever meet again in social settings and someone introduces you to them,

[00:08:55] you can easily go with the, I know, we used to date and that used to be a good friend of mine.

[00:09:00] I think you can figure out why we don't talk anymore.

[00:09:03] Please excuse me.

[00:09:04] It's not revenge and you just excuse yourself away.

[00:09:07] But it will color how new acquaintances view their characters.

[00:09:10] And that warms a little.

[00:09:12] Save the revenge stuff though.

[00:09:13] You never know if someone will turn out to be an asshole because you aren't playing by the rules and letting them explain.

[00:09:19] So they can feel less guilty themselves.

[00:09:22] And should you ever be in a position where you could pass a good thing on or facilitate a connection with someone important,

[00:09:27] etc. for your former friends.

[00:09:29] Don't.

[00:09:30] Simply don't.

[00:09:31] I wish you the best in the future.

[00:09:34] So Opie come in 11 months later and said,

[00:09:38] Hi everyone.

[00:09:38] I happen to remember this account.

[00:09:40] So I decided why not update you all?

[00:09:43] First of all, my mom is doing much better and is preparing for a 5k.

[00:09:47] Her goal is to complete one by 2025.

[00:09:50] Thank you all for your well wishes.

[00:09:52] I would like to tell you everything with me is going great and I'm doing amazing.

[00:09:55] And my ex friends and girlfriend are doing terribly and are destitute.

[00:09:59] Life isn't a movie or a storybook and things don't work out the way we would like them to.

[00:10:04] But it can get pretty close to one.

[00:10:07] I am doing amazing.

[00:10:08] My new job has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.

[00:10:12] Since I stopped paying for unnecessary medical bills and rent for a place I never really cared for.

[00:10:18] I've saved up so much money.

[00:10:20] I decided to finally invest that money in something worthwhile.

[00:10:24] Myself.

[00:10:24] I didn't hit the gym or anything but I did get some work done on my teeth.

[00:10:28] They had some minor discoloration.

[00:10:30] When they shaped it for a crown and removed the layers it looked like it was painted with Pepsi or something.

[00:10:35] It was a boost in confidence.

[00:10:37] I started buying more and more clothes and building outfits.

[00:10:41] I started anti-anxiety meds which have brought me out of my shell.

[00:10:44] I feel so much better.

[00:10:46] I met someone a few weeks ago.

[00:10:48] We've just been talking through texts and it seems to be going well.

[00:10:51] I don't really know what's going on with the people I left behind.

[00:10:55] I heard rumors that came from a long chain of people so I don't trust them really.

[00:10:58] My ex and ex best friend are having a baby which has caused financial issues for them with a medical debt and struggling business venture.

[00:11:06] But are somehow making it work.

[00:11:08] The girl who might help get a job was caught in an affair with her boss.

[00:11:12] He may or may not be married it's unclear.

[00:11:15] Who threw under the bus professionally to save himself but seems to have landed on our feet because the company wanted to avoid a scandal.

[00:11:22] Another one of them has gotten engaged to his girlfriend.

[00:11:25] Last I remember he was single so don't even know how long they've been involved.

[00:11:29] The one I housed for 3 months is doing fine as well but may have gotten an STD from one of his one night buddies.

[00:11:36] I have no information on the last dude.

[00:11:39] So a mixed bag of good for me and a little bad for them but not terrible.

[00:11:43] Just normal life issues.

[00:11:45] It's as close as one gets to karmic justice I guess.

[00:11:49] The last contact I had with my ex was an email 6 months ago.

[00:11:52] She detailed about how sorry she was about the fallout of her actions.

[00:11:56] She just fell in love with him while still loving me and didn't really know how to proceed from there.

[00:12:00] It was a bad time for her as she relied on me so much that made her get resentful and something about being with him made her feel in control.

[00:12:08] She ended it with how much she regrets her actions and the hurt she caused but she doesn't regret loving me or him.

[00:12:14] And that she still loves us both and will always be here if I need her.

[00:12:18] I never responded because there was no need.

[00:12:20] I can understand her perspective in this.

[00:12:23] Doesn't mean I condone her actions.

[00:12:24] But I can somewhat forgive her and move on from this permanently.

[00:12:28] Humans are complex and so is love.

[00:12:31] Sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most.

[00:12:33] But I don't like her or her actions.

[00:12:35] I do believe she loved us both.

[00:12:38] She doesn't seem to have any reason to lie.

[00:12:40] Anyway, c'est la vie.

[00:12:42] Have a good evening guys and don't spend your energy getting upset or anything on my behalf.

[00:12:48] I don't think there's too much to be angry on your behalf about now because it sounds like you are doing wonderfully.

[00:12:53] It sounds like there may be a relationship in the future and you're just doing great in general.

[00:12:58] I think she was taking the piss with her email to be honest in my opinion.

[00:13:02] But in the end, it's making no difference to OP's life anyway.

[00:13:06] They can understand, you know, love is love.

[00:13:08] And you know, she did love OP which, you know, is possibly true.

[00:13:12] OP says he still doesn't like her.

[00:13:14] It's not going to change anything with her relationship.

[00:13:17] OP's just moving on and living their best life which, as always, we always say is the best form of revenge.

[00:13:24] But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:13:26] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:29] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:13:32] And let's move on to another story.

[00:13:35] Now, our next story comes from Fat Ninja Throwaway from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit and says,

[00:13:42] Am I the arsehole for refusing to have Halloween with my family for years after they screwed me over on this holiday years ago?

[00:13:51] As the title says, this happened on Halloween.

[00:13:54] I'm 25 male and five years ago, my parents wanted to go to my sister's house for Halloween.

[00:14:00] At the time, I was still living with them and I wanted to go to a party a friend was hosting.

[00:14:05] But my parents were adamant that I go with them because they wanted us all to be together.

[00:14:11] I still wanted to go to my friend's party and my parents suggested a compromise in which I go to my sister's party first, then my friends.

[00:14:20] I figured it couldn't hurt to do both.

[00:14:22] So, I agreed since I liked helping my nephews with trick or treating.

[00:14:26] And that year, I was wearing an inflatable ninja costume.

[00:14:29] I was really eager to have fun in.

[00:14:31] Well, I was ready and waiting in the costume for hours.

[00:14:34] And by the time we finally took the kids out, most houses stopped giving candy and there was hardly anybody walking around.

[00:14:41] And we only went around the block.

[00:14:43] That's it.

[00:14:44] Then when I wanted to go to my friend's house, my parents guilted me in disdain because they needed to go to my friend's house.

[00:14:49] And they wanted me to be a designated driver.

[00:14:51] I would have driven them home first and then gone to my friend's party.

[00:14:55] But my parents just kept drinking and refused to leave.

[00:14:57] So, I lost out on going to the other party and cussed my parents out for making me miss it and not even being able to enjoy my Halloween.

[00:15:05] They just said that it was too late and what could they do about it?

[00:15:08] They didn't even attempt to make it up to me.

[00:15:11] I refused to speak with them later.

[00:15:13] So, they confronted me and I said I didn't even want to look at them because they broke their promise.

[00:15:19] Then I said that unless they could somehow pull a new Halloween party with all my friends out of their arses, then they had completely screwed me over.

[00:15:26] Then I left before they could say anything else to me.

[00:15:29] My friends were nearly as upset as I was.

[00:15:32] But my sister told me off and said I was callous because she had wanted me there.

[00:15:36] Ever since that year, I only spent Halloween with my friends.

[00:15:39] This year, my parents begged me to go with them to my sisters instead.

[00:15:43] I asked why and they wanted me to drive them.

[00:15:46] So, I refused and said they just wanted a designated driver.

[00:15:50] And they'd already screwed me over before and didn't even attempt to make it better back then.

[00:15:54] And I didn't just want to sit around watching them get drunk with the only really highlight being helping kids trick or treat.

[00:16:01] I hung out with my friends and we had a blast with a farmyard party.

[00:16:04] But my sister called me up on Monday furious at me because our parents were pulled over on their way home and got a DUI.

[00:16:11] And this would never have happened if I had driven them.

[00:16:14] And now most of the family is pissed at me.

[00:16:16] So, am I the arsehole for refusing to drive my parents to my sister's house for Halloween because of something they did five years ago?

[00:16:24] Absolutely not the arsehole in any way, shape or form.

[00:16:29] They got a DUI because of their actions.

[00:16:32] They're the ones who chose to drink and drive.

[00:16:35] That's totally on them.

[00:16:36] And I can't believe anyone else is looking at it in any other way that you're getting blamed for not driving them.

[00:16:42] You know, they're adults.

[00:16:44] They're your parents.

[00:16:45] They're making the choices.

[00:16:46] And it just sounded like they were pulling the same bullshit.

[00:16:49] It wasn't just about, you know, being a designated driver.

[00:16:52] They wanted you to take the kids out trick or treating at the same time.

[00:16:55] And as well as you enjoy it, it's annoying to have that expectation just put upon you because they can't be arsed to do it.

[00:17:02] The first commenter said to OP,

[00:17:04] Uh, so hard not the arsehole.

[00:17:06] You're 25.

[00:17:07] Do what you want.

[00:17:08] You're not responsible for your parents and your sister is an enabler.

[00:17:12] I'm an expert here because I've had a DUI that I got after leaving a party.

[00:17:17] You know who was responsible for that choice?

[00:17:19] Yeah, me.

[00:17:20] Literally no one else.

[00:17:22] I'm the one who made a bad choice.

[00:17:24] Ugh.

[00:17:24] Your whole family is the arsehole here.

[00:17:27] Not you.

[00:17:28] Please call me Rain says,

[00:17:30] While you were 100% not the arsehole for anything your parents did.

[00:17:33] You're weirdly bitter about a party you missed as a 19 year old dude.

[00:17:37] You're an adult.

[00:17:38] You chose to stay.

[00:17:39] Nothing was stopping you from leaving.

[00:17:41] You need to recognize that you're responsible for your own choices.

[00:17:44] Something your family doesn't seem to be good at.

[00:17:47] OP says, No.

[00:17:48] I was stopped from leaving because I couldn't take my parents' vehicle.

[00:17:51] We rode together and they refused to let me just borrow their car and come back.

[00:17:55] The bitterness is because they lied to me.

[00:17:58] Ben showed no remorse that they did.

[00:18:01] Elsewhere says, This is weird.

[00:18:02] Have they just done it on these two Halloween parties or do they do this at other times?

[00:18:07] Why didn't your sister drive them or sister's partner if they're in the picture?

[00:18:11] If she has kids, there surely had to be a sober adult there.

[00:18:15] Obviously it's not your fault your parents drove drunk.

[00:18:18] Not the arsehole.

[00:18:19] OP says, They've drove drunk several times.

[00:18:22] I didn't mind driving them some places but then they wanted me as a designated driver all the time.

[00:18:28] And they only wanted me to drive their car.

[00:18:30] Not mine.

[00:18:30] So I made it clear to them that I wouldn't be their driver if I had plans.

[00:18:34] Which I did.

[00:18:36] So OP updates in the same post and says,

[00:18:38] My sister and her husband spotted my post a few days after I made it and called me.

[00:18:43] My sister said she's ashamed of herself and now sees my point of view.

[00:18:47] At first she was furious I made the post.

[00:18:50] But her husband chewed her out for not ever sticking up for me because he really had no idea my parents treated me this badly.

[00:18:56] And after they both read the comments she realized how toxic this whole dynamic was.

[00:19:01] At first she blamed it on the stress of being a mother.

[00:19:04] But quickly took that back and said she really has no excuse for never considering me in these situations.

[00:19:10] We talked and she remarked how I've always loved Halloween ever since I was a little kid.

[00:19:14] And she let my parents ruin it for me that day five years ago.

[00:19:18] Even though she knew about the promise they broke.

[00:19:21] The conversation got pretty emotional and she apologized heavily because she had put the blame on me.

[00:19:26] When she was the one who let our parents drink and drive year after year.

[00:19:30] I've got more details now and my mother is actually the one who got the DUI.

[00:19:35] I'd assumed our father.

[00:19:36] But he apparently was so wasted that he was on the verge of passing out.

[00:19:40] And pretty much did as soon as he was in the car.

[00:19:43] Our mother insisted that she was okay to drive and then ran a red light.

[00:19:47] That's how a cop spotted her and she was arrested.

[00:19:50] The car was impounded and our father was escorted home by the police to sleep it off.

[00:19:55] He woke up with a raging hangover and a temper to match.

[00:19:59] Then took it all out on my sister over the phone.

[00:20:01] And she in turn took it out on me.

[00:20:03] Our mother had her license suspended.

[00:20:06] The car cost them $600 to get out of the impound.

[00:20:08] And both of my parents were putting this on me.

[00:20:11] Until we all ganged up on them for what they've been doing.

[00:20:14] Our father fought us every step of the way.

[00:20:17] But we made it clear they've been putting their alcoholism above everything else.

[00:20:20] And we're tired of it because there's been a lot of broken promises from them all around.

[00:20:25] Our mother promised to do better but our father just stayed silent.

[00:20:29] And wouldn't make eye contact with any of us.

[00:20:31] Things are tense now.

[00:20:33] But I'm glad my sister is finally on my side in all of this.

[00:20:37] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:41] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:44] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:20:48] Just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:20:50] Getting involved in the stories.

[00:20:52] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:55] So thank you so so much for being involved.

[00:20:58] Truly it's absolutely amazing.

[00:20:59] And I will see you in the next one.

[00:21:01] Take care.

[00:21:02] And much love.

[00:21:05] Take care.