I Discovered That My Girlfriend Is Lying About Her Conference Trip With Friends r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories of course. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from a throw away account that says, I 27 male just found out my girlfriend 24 female is lying about being on a trip. Is there any hope or am I cooked? My girlfriend Amy and I went on our first date around one and a half years ago. Took things slowly while being exclusive and have been officially dating one year. Overall, the relationship has been pretty good, minus some small hiccups in communication that she chalks up to a neurodivergent.

[00:00:51] Amy isn't great with texting, which I thought was a red flag at first until I found out that she just liked that with almost everyone. Most of her friends and family included. Amy and a few of her girlfriends go to this conference a few states over twice per year. It's a two day event, which they usually turn into a five day vacation because it requires a flight in a hotel and it's in a nice city. Amy's friend group is typically very active on social media during these trips, posting on their Instagram stories,

[00:01:20] during all points, flights, conference, beach, etc. This weekend was supposed to be their third time attending. Amy and her friends have had their flights and hotels booked for a few months and confirmed by some of their posts on social media being excited about having everything booked. Unfortunately, the conference was cancelled, but they already booked everything. So they decided to still enjoy a vacation.

[00:01:43] My girlfriend and I had a date night last weekend. She was telling me how excited she was for a trip. All was good, but at the end of the date, I caught a glimpse of Amy's phone.

[00:01:53] She was on her airline app and it looked like she was reading cancellation policies. We had a long day and I was tired and felt like I was snooping and being nosy, so I didn't say anything. During the week, I asked Amy to hang out the day before the flight, emphasizing that I wanted to see her before a trip. Unfortunately, she was meeting up with a group of co-worker friends, so she couldn't. No worries. The morning of her flight, I text her wishing her a safe flight and happy trip, and she liked my message.

[00:02:21] We haven't talked since. As I said, she's not a big texter, so we usually don't text much besides planning dates and in emergencies. I figured she was on a trip, so I haven't texted to plan a date. Now on to the meat of the issue. Amy is now supposed to be a few days into her trip and I noticed none of her friends were posting on Instagram. I thought that was weird because they usually post a lot, but I shrugged it off. That was until tonight. Amy started posting videos of her at a show.

[00:02:51] It looked fun and I didn't think twice about it. Until the ending, where the show host called out, thank you, and then the name of the major city nearby where we live. Approximately a 30 minute drive. I looked up the name of the show and of course, it was in that nearby city this weekend. Meaning she wasn't on that vacation after all. I never thought to say anything to me about it.

[00:03:14] I did a little snooping on Venmo and found out that over two weeks ago, Amy's friend paid her back the money that Amy had sent her for the hotel and car rental. So she's known the trip was cancelled for two weeks and hasn't said anything to me every time I brought it up. Where do I go from here? I feel like I'm suddenly spiraling, going crazy, overthinking everything lately to see if I've missed any signs.

[00:03:38] I've already started assuming the worst and I'm panicking. I'm out of town for the weekend and I feel like this has totally thrown me off my trip. Is this worth a conversation or is this relationship already over? Is there any reason she would not have said something by now? Even if she tells me the trip was cancelled right when I see her before I confront her, would that still justify not telling me until after the trip? Please, any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[00:04:06] Edits. Her best friend just uploaded a picture of them together during the show, so I know she wasn't there with some other guy. But that doesn't explain the lying. Now as always, relationships are built on trust. You know she was basically lying to you time and time again, so it's going to diminish your trust in her. So at this point, the confrontation needs to be had. It's as simple as that. You need to ask her directly, why? Why are you lying to me about this?

[00:04:35] And Trish said, I don't see any justification for lying to your face, repeatedly. Aren't you angry? That's not okay. Opie says, yeah, of course I am. Sorry if that didn't come across. I tried to stay level-headed in the post and just laid out the facts. I'm kind of going through the stages of grief right now. Anger being one of them. And onthrowaway says, sure seems like she pretended the trip wasn't happening to do something else with someone else. That's your worst case assumption, right?

[00:05:04] If so, what's her plan? Keep pretending she went. Keep you in the dark. Hope no friends out to her. Pretty stupid. If she's seeing someone else, she should just dump you. Opie says, yeah, that's my assumption. I don't really see any other reason why she would have pretended the trip was still planned. Even if I misunderstood the timeline of the trip getting cancelled, like if that Venmo payment was for something else. I'd assume she would have told me when I text her the morning of her flight.

[00:05:30] Loof Pondersmudge says, I take it she wants to get caught since she's posting the videos, or is she just dumb? Opie says, I considered that maybe she's trying to get me to dump her. Which would make sense. But she's been talking about celebrating my birthday soon. Planning a getaway trip together, etc. It'd be weird that she's trying to put in effort and plan future things while wanting to get dumped. But I don't know. Everything's so confusing. Loof replies saying, very confusing. I wish I could help you.

[00:05:59] The only thing I could say is to talk to her when you see her again. But can you trust anything she tells you? Clearly, she's deceitful. I've no idea how to move forward with this. Sorry. Opie says, yeah, I have no idea if I'll be able to trust any of what she says. I don't really know what help I'm looking for anymore here. I guess I'm just praying there's some perspective I wasn't seeing. Thanks for your input anyways. I really appreciate it. So, a couple of weeks later after that post, Opie updates and says, hey everyone.

[00:06:27] I had some DMs asking for an update, so here it is. To quickly summarize my last post. A few weeks back, my girlfriend was supposed to go on a trip a few states away to go to a conference. I came to find out that the conference was cancelled and she didn't actually go. And never even bothered to tell me. She lied by omission about it by not telling me when I text her to have a good flight. I found out that she didn't go because her best friend posted a picture of them at a show in our local nearby city. So, here we are.

[00:06:57] Almost a month later. I was a wreck and spiraling these past few weeks. And after being together for almost two years, I was too panicked to reach out and ask to see her. During the three weeks since her planned trip, she hasn't reached out once to me. That was until yesterday, when she casually reached out like we hadn't just ignored each other for three weeks and asked to see a movie. So, I just finally saw her tonight. In the car, I asked her about her trip. Her facial response was really weird like she got caught off guard.

[00:07:27] I'm guessing she was expecting me to forget about it after a few weeks of not seeing her. She just said it was okay, which instantly confirmed my suspicions. I asked what she had done and she said that she went to that conference one day, which as said in my last post was cancelled, and went to a show after returning home the day after I made my original post. I asked her which and she claimed the show that was in our local city.

[00:07:52] I was driving at the time and it was dark out, so I waited to confront her as I didn't want to get emotional and in dangerous. I confronted her for lying about the trip, doubling down and lying about the conference, and tripling down to lie about the show. Her immediate response was to start deflecting, saying that if this is making me upset, to imagine how she felt that her conference and trip was cancelled. She said how she was heartbroken and upset the conference was cancelled, which was cancelled five weeks ago, that she didn't want to talk about it.

[00:08:21] She kept saying that she doesn't owe it to me or anybody else to tell us about her business and what's going on in her life. I of course called her out for gaslighting me, which her response was that she was not gaslighting me. Kind of ironic, I guess. I talked about how it made me feel and that she damaged my trust for her. She again tried to belittle my feelings by rolling her eyes and saying that it was only a show. This conversation ended up opening a much bigger issue in our relationship that I didn't mention in my last post.

[00:08:50] Generally, Amy treated me really poorly throughout the relationship. She was hot and cold, put zero effort into communication, and it never felt like she made a priority. She'd give me zero affection or compliments, despite drooling and crushing over male celebrities all day. She made little effort to connect me and her family and friends. We've talked about all of this a few times now. She would always say she was overwhelmed with some new excuse and promised it would get better. I would cave in and agree to work through things.

[00:09:19] As expected, things never got better. This time was the same, where she blamed a new job for being overwhelmed and that's why she's been so distant. But this time was different. I guess her blatant lie to my face and your guys' comments in the back of my mind gave me the power to put my foot down. I broke up with her, then and there. She kept begging me for one more chance, to think on in a few days, that she cares about me and didn't intend to hurt me. All that nonsense. But the whole time I was the one bawling.

[00:09:48] And there wasn't a tear on her face. It really broke my heart ending things, but I've also really grown to hate myself for putting up with her treatment for so long. I'm hurting a lot right now and I'm scared to get back into the dating world after two years of aging and some weight gain. I really loved her with every bit of my heart and I'm terrified to picture my life without her. I really want to call her up and give her one final chance to get things right, but I know I'd never forgive myself if she didn't change and broke my heart again.

[00:10:17] I'm hurting bad and I could really use some words of encouragement right now. Thank you all. AdCreative says, baby, you don't deserve this. Don't let this beast of a woman back into your life. The day is young and your youth has just begun. There are so many beautiful faces and souls you have yet to meet. There are so many opportunities that await you and the future only asks that you let go of your past. Loof says, I know that you're hurting right now, but I have to say this. Her being gone is a positive, not a negative.

[00:10:47] Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself before diving back into the dating pool. Assistant says, you're only 27. Everyone ages. Weight gain? The gym is a great outlet for frustrations as well as a motivator. You dodged a bullet. You were able to stand up for yourself and put your foot down when she tried to gaslight you into believing that you were in any way, shape or form guilty. That's the first leap into a great direction. Plain says, yeah, man, I'm 38, about to be 39.

[00:11:16] Met my now wife after separating from my ex at 33 and had kids at 35. You aren't even close to aged. Join a gym, start a fitness routine and go out into the world. You don't need to start dating. And in fact, it sounds like you could use some time to yourself first since you're having these feelings of low self-esteem. You deserve someone who shows you the same affection you give them. Don't settle for less. This quick says, yep, I met my partner at 46 a few years ago. There is always time.

[00:11:46] It may not be exactly what you want, but it will be what you may need. Live, grow, be happy. Good things will come to you. The whole thing where you just stop contacting him for three weeks after they've been together for a year and then just suddenly came back in was really, really strange. And I think good for OP that they got out of this relationship. I don't think anything was going to change. It would just keep falling back into the same path. And like the comment said, 27 is young.

[00:12:15] Come on now. And also like the comment says, hit the gym, take some time for yourself. Just enjoy your life and get back to loving yourself. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from hefty T2143 from the am I the asshole subreddit and says,

[00:12:45] am I the asshole for telling my father that it was his fault he missed my son's first birthday party? My son turned one this past weekend. On Sunday, my husband and I threw a birthday party for him at a local kids venue. We confirmed the date with both the venue and our guests a few months ago. One of those guests was my father. Back when I informed him of the date, he told me he'd come. A few days before the party, he asked me if there was any way for me to reschedule it.

[00:13:14] I said no as we'd already confirmed everything with the venue. My father then told me he'd be late to the party because there was an event at his girlfriend's church on the same day and she wanted him to attend. I should say that my immediate family, including my father, is technically Catholic, but none of us practice it. However, my father's girlfriend is very religious. Like Jesus as a phone wallpaper religious. Since they started dating a little over a year ago, my father has been attending church with

[00:13:44] her on a semi-regular basis. He has explicitly told me he doesn't like it but does it to make her happy. I told my father I was fine with him being late as long as he came to the party at some point. He said he'd show up as soon as the church event was done. A few hours before the party ended, my father texted me the event was still going and he thought it would be in poor taste for him to leave early. So he probably wouldn't be able to come. I didn't hear from him again that day.

[00:14:11] On Monday, my father called me to explain that the event went on longer than he expected. He didn't apologize but asked if I was angry at him and I said yes. He said he had no way of knowing the event would last as long as it did but that's not what I'm upset about. I told him he still chose to prioritize event he didn't even want to attend over his grandson's first birthday party. Made several other choices that led him to completely miss the latter and didn't inform me about any of that until the last minute.

[00:14:40] All of those decisions were his so the fact that he ultimately didn't come to the party was his fault. My father is still refusing to apologize and insists I have no right to be angry over something he had no control over. I'm starting to feel odd about this. My husband is on my side but my sister told me I'm being dramatic. Am I the arsehole? Absolutely not the arsehole at all. You said it all in those last paragraphs of your post that he prioritized an event which

[00:15:08] he didn't want to attend in the first place over his grandchild's birthday party. He absolutely has control over that choice and he could have made the choice to attend but he chose not to. It was a choice. And even regardless after all of this instead of apologizing he's doubling down which just is some bizarre arse behavior you know you didn't attend. He phoned you up knowing you wasn't happy with him because he asked the question

[00:15:37] but yet still refuses to apologize. He knows he's done wrong yet won't apologize. It's just weird absolute stubbornness to the point of damaging your relationship with your child is bizarre but tough combinations is not the arsehole. He made his choice asked if you're upset was told yes. You were to which he said well actually I was expecting you to placate my feelings. Hey I got it right again about missing the party and prioritizing my girlfriend who is an adult over my grandson.

[00:16:05] Don't you seriously do not need to soothe his feelings. Say to him clearly once more. I'm upset you chose to miss the party. Why you missed it is besides the point. It's not like you were in the ER with a ruptured spleen after a massive car wreck. You're with your girlfriend period. He doesn't get a free pass on your feelings just because he values his own comfort over yours. Opie says during that first phone call it did kind of feel like he thought he was a victim. As if missing his grandson's birthday party was something that had happened to him.

[00:16:35] Not something his own decisions had led to. Tough combination says that is classic emotional immaturity. The girlfriend made me. You made me. It went on long so it wasn't my fault. I had no choice etc etc. Lame. Odd West says not the arsehole. Your father is an adult and he made a choice to attend a different event. He asked if you were upset and you answered him honestly. He chose his girlfriend over his grandchild.

[00:17:01] It's understandable to be disappointed in him and upset that he made the choices he made. It's very possible he'll do this again in the future. How do you think hanging on to your anger only eats away at you though? Doesn't seem to be bothering him all that much. Make peace with the fact that he's going to choose the girlfriend. Adulting sucks sometimes. Opie says I don't plan on hanging on to my anger or anything but I'm definitely still upset. My father has an odd work schedule so this isn't the first important event he misses.

[00:17:31] But it's the first he chose to miss. So 18 days after that post Opie comes in with her update and says Hey guys I intended to update sooner but I've been busy these days. I think my main takeaway from your comments was that it's not my job to placate my father's feelings. He made several conscious decisions that led him to miss the birthday party. He had the right to make those choices but the consequences were indeed his fault. After deliberating for a while I called my father to discuss the subject again.

[00:18:01] I told him I don't expect him to apologize and I won't hold resentment towards him forever. But he can't expect me to pretend his actions didn't anger me or that it wasn't his fault. We had a long discussion about it. Throughout all of it my father kept trying to play the victim. They talk about how he wanted to come to the party and was upset he'd missed it. At one point he said you don't understand I didn't want to go to church. I told him I don't care what matters is that he did. He could have told his girlfriend he didn't want to go but he didn't.

[00:18:30] He could have left the church early but he didn't. He could have prioritized his previous commitment and not attended the event in the first place. But he didn't. Everything he did that day was within his control. I won't get into the specifics of the discussion itself but I will say that it took a while. I explained that if he wants to prioritize his girlfriend over his grandchild the least he can do is be upfront about it. That means either not making promises he can't keep or acknowledging his responsibility when he makes regretful decisions.

[00:18:59] My father did end up apologizing and more importantly taking accountability. I forgave him but I intend to be wary from now on. Looking back I don't feel like I was ever able to truly rely on my father. Back then he would miss events because he had a complicated work schedule. But now that I know he's also capable of doing that willingly. I don't want to enable it. If my father ever prioritizes anything. Be it a girlfriend or an event. Over a commitment he made to my son. I will stop inviting him.

[00:19:29] Same goes for any children my husband and I have in the future. I've informed my father of that and he agreed. His girlfriend from what I've heard is pissed at me but I couldn't care less. This will be my only update. I don't think I have anything else to add but feel free to ask me any questions you may have. Thank you for your feedback on my last post. Fast Season says to the OP you did good. People need to realize they're free to live their life and make their choices but they can't act all offended when their choices bite them in the rear.

[00:19:59] Your dad seems to have sadly prioritized other things above you. And good for you for setting him straight. Fleur de Lis says in quotes. You don't understand. I didn't want to go to the church. Then says. Unless he was dragged there at gunpoint. I don't see how he could try to claim this was anyone's fault but his own. He made a series of choices but wants to act like his hands were tied. At his age he should know how to stand up for himself and not be strong armed into these kind of situations.

[00:20:26] And to stop expecting a pity party when he disappoints people. Good on you for not letting him wiggle out of his accountability. As for the girlfriend. What does she have to be mad about? She got what she wanted. She can get bent. OP says. I think my father told her he's not going to church anymore. I can't be certain. But he told me he wanted to do that. Anyway. I don't think she's my biggest fan. Commenter replies out saying. She's not.

[00:21:03] Real class act. But now. I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Now a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories. Your love. Your support. Your time. Not just towards me. But towards each other in the comments. And towards the stories as well. Always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much. And hopefully. I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.