I Discovered My Daughter's SECRET Affair with My Married Neighbor! r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Audible präsentiert dein nächstes Science Fiction Highlight. 20 Zettel mit meinem Namen sind heute in der Lostrommel. Der Tag der 50. Hungerspiele bricht an. Die klirrende Angst in den Distrikten von Panem steigt ins Unermessliche. In dem zunehmenden Gedränge sehe ich, wie ganz vorn ein Zwölfjähriger seine Tränen zu verbergen versucht. Wenn du dazu bestimmt bist, alles zu verlieren was du liebst, wofür lohnt es sich dann noch zu kämpfen? Die Tribute von Panem L. Der Tag bricht an. Jetzt nur bei Audible.

[00:00:55] Am I Overreacting subreddit. Und says my daughter is having an affair with a married neighbor. I told her she needs to move out of my house. Last week, I caught my daughter, 21, leaving our neighbor's house early in the morning. I was getting a drink around 3 in the morning and watched her leave their house as she snuck across the yard and went through our basement door.

[00:01:16] Our neighbor is married and probably 30. Assume his wife was gone for the night as her car wasn't there. The next morning, I went down to my daughter's room and confronted her. At first, she denied it, but she eventually said that she'd been sleeping with him for a couple of months. I lost it at that point and yelled at her, telling her he is married and she is helping to ruin a marriage.

[00:01:37] I told her that she needs to tell the wife or she needs to move out. She is clearly upset and thinks I'm overreacting. My wife is also thinking I'm going too far. I get that the neighbor is the main issue, but I'm really disappointed in my daughter. She knows his wife and has even babysat for them. It's telling her to confess or move out too far. Edits. Wow, thank you all for responding. I'm sorry I couldn't respond to more of you. Some context I failed to put in here is my wife is very upset.

[00:02:07] She isn't citing the affair. In fact, she was cheated on by an ex. She understands this better than I do. I think that is a big part of why I'm so angry. My wife is also a better person than I am. She is the only reason I'm the man I am today. I have too much respect to let people, even anonymously, insinuate that she is a problem here. I should have done a better job in explaining her side. Any comments saying anything bad about my wife will be met with a big fuck you.

[00:02:35] Writing all this out and reading comments has been incredibly helpful. I haven't changed my mind, but it's made me think about the situation more, especially looking at the future in my relationship with my daughter. I just shot a text to my daughter and apologized for my anger and asked her to go get a drink with me tonight and talk. I told her I'm sorry I didn't ask her how she is feeling. I need to get my composure back before my next work call here in a few minutes, but will continue to read and reply to comments as I have time today.

[00:03:04] Edit 2. Just gonna put thoughts here instead of commenting. So many comments. Well yes, I may be seeming to backtrack a bit with reaching out to my daughter. I don't see how that is bad. She is my daughter and I love her so much. For those who think she would stop talking to us if we kicked her out. I raised her to be independent and accept consequences for her actions. It's hard to explain our relationship, but I know she wouldn't stop talking to us if we did force her to move out. If we did force her to move.

[00:03:31] She also would figure it out as she's a smart woman. She would love out of our house, not our life. I'm always her dad. This is the dad writing, not the mom as some of you have thought. Also not worried about violence from the neighbor's wife. Unfortunately, she is a very sweet woman, which makes everything worse. But I wouldn't put my daughter in danger. I confirm my daughter hasn't told the husband we know. I'll be watching his behavior as I'm not sure how he will react.

[00:03:58] Last thing I find it funny. I was drinking water, not alcohol when I saw her. I woke up and went to the kitchen and saw her from the window. But I appreciate the links to AA. I really should have made my original post longer. Sorry for all the edits. I'll update after I talk with my daughter. Legitimate Outcome said to this one, holding her accountable for her actions while she's still living under your roof is 100% acceptable. She's old enough to know each action has a reaction, good or bad.

[00:04:26] Comender says, I'll be going around to see the neighbor to have a talk about them fucking my daughter. I just want to talk to him. I just want to talk to him. This is weird, disgusting, letra's behavior on all fronts and should be blown the fuck up. Maddie replies saying, and the fact that the daughter was their babysitter. Everything about the situation screams to me that the poor girl was groomed for years by a predatory neighbor. Possibly when she was still a minor.

[00:04:51] Prodigy says, I'd be more pissed than neighbors fucking my daughter, than my daughter banging the neighbor. He knows what he's doing. Have you ever dated a 21 year old? Most are basically kids that can drink legally now. Yeah, they should know better, but most don't. Another commenter says, you're not overreacting. You're making your daughter accountable for her actions. There are consequences and your daughter should feel those consequences. I understand your wife doesn't want to kick your daughter out and you don't necessarily need to go through with kicking your daughter out.

[00:05:21] But your daughter does need to understand, if this behavior continues, being kicked out becomes a real consequence. I would give the daughter a chance to stop this behavior first. Opie added an update in the same post and said, sorry I didn't update this last night. I forgot there were basketball games on and fell asleep watching. I went out for drinks with my daughter. It was awkward at first. We just talked about work and her schooling for a while. It felt nice to just talk about normal things for a bit. At some point she just asked me if I was proud of her.

[00:05:51] I almost broke down when she asked that. I said yes, I am proud of her. But I'm not proud of the mistake that you made. I talked a bit about why what she did made me so upset. But that nothing she could ever do would make me love her less. She told me about how she got involved with the neighbor. I won't share too much. It's nothing terrible like many of you are assuming. They knew each other as they had babysit their baby over the last year. One night she was out with friends and ran into the husband at the bar.

[00:06:19] That's when things progressed and the affair started. During this same time she was going through a breakup that was rough. I knew she was going through that but didn't realize how bad it was. I told her that she's an adult and responsible for her own actions. But I don't want her in my house doing things like this. We talked about telling the wife. My daughter is scared to tell her. She isn't sure how the husband will react once the affair is out. I'm going to go with her tomorrow while the husband is at work and tell her together. My daughter also wants to move out.

[00:06:49] She says it's something she's been thinking about before. And now she said it'd be awkward with this being in the open. She started to cry about how she didn't realize the damage she was doing. Knowing that she is the other woman and helped her break or at least hurt this marriage. I talked about her mom and her past and what that was done to her. That's about it. We cried together, had tough discussions. Tomorrow we will let the wife know. And I helped my daughter move to my sister's place for a while. I told her things will probably get worse before they get better.

[00:07:18] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from DangerousAd9818. And it says, Am I overreacting that my wife did not wear her wedding ring multiple days in a row? Hello everyone. This is my first time posting here.

[00:07:44] As stated in my title, I'm hoping to get your insights on wearing wedding rings in public. For context, I, 33 male, have been married to my wife, 32 female, for a little less than a year. However, we've been in a stable, exclusive relationship for 10 years and have been living together for 8. She's the love of my life. She proposed to me about 6 years ago. I said yes, but we ended up having to postpone our wedding several times due to our school schedules, venue cancellations, etc.

[00:08:12] We've been wearing wedding bands ever since the proposal. Two days ago, she came home from shopping and said the cashier was hitting on her and possibly asked her out. I'm not threatened by other men hitting on her since our relationship has a very strong foundation and we usually find it comical. However, she did mention that she did forget to wear her wedding band ring and that's possibly why the cashier was flirtatious with her. Yesterday, we were planning on going to see a movie. As we're walking out the door, I noticed that she was not wearing her ring again.

[00:08:42] I asked in an admittedly not pleasant tone, So do you not wear your wedding ring in public anymore? She was kind of taken aback and said no, she just forgot to put it on and went to go and put it on before we left. The rest of the day, things were a bit tense. We ended up seeing the movie and thought we enjoyed it. However, once we got back to the car, her attitude clearly shifted. I asked how she was doing and she said, I have a headache because of you.

[00:09:09] She then explained how she didn't appreciate me bringing up not putting on her wedding ring. That she's human and made a mistake and forgot to put it on. I was just like, okay, that's fine. But then she continued, clearly upset, saying she's an attractive woman and she can't help if people hit on her and ask her out. I was like, okay, that's true, but if she was wearing her ring, that would probably prevent people from asking her. She said that the cashier probably wouldn't have seen it and would have asked her out anyway.

[00:09:37] And that she as a person is not defined by whether she wears the ring or not. We drove home in mostly silence, but she did apologize that she snapped at me in the car, which I accepted. I want to emphasize that we do not have any previous trust issues. And I am in no way insinuating that she had been intentionally not wearing her ring. This is also the first time I noticed it, which I probably wouldn't have if she hadn't mentioned her interactions with the cashier at the grocery store the day before.

[00:10:05] However, I'm a bit startled by how defensive she got in the car and don't really know how to process what happened. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could share any insights you may have regarding yourself or partner not wearing rings in public. One of the things that jumped out to me in this one is that you said you're not insinuating that she's not been intentionally wearing her ring. But the way you asked the question, which you admittedly said in not a pleasant tone. So do you not wear your wedding ring in public anymore?

[00:10:33] Which, you know, it's kind of saying it feels like that's insinuation to me. And this comes a couple of days after a cashier was hitting on her and possibly asked her out. And I think, you know, the way she reacted wasn't great at the same time either. I think the forgotten ring is created two situations. You've made it about trust. She's made it about autonomy. And I think it's just one of those things. Having sit down, just getting your feelings out there will solve this. Could solve this pretty easily.

[00:11:02] I think we'll find out in the update, I guess. But operator P365 says, My wife works in healthcare. Can't wear metal jewelry, so she was wearing the silicone bands. Now she doesn't even try. Over 10 years of marriage, I'm not worried about any messages or guys hitting on her. I'm just pissed. I just spent 10k on a ring that sits in a box on the dresser. A bad flower says, My husband's wedding band is in the Atlantic Ocean. Mine is too small for me to wear now. We've been together 23 years.

[00:11:31] As far as her being hit on, men do not care slash look for a ring. I was walking with my three children. One was literally hanging off my body in a carrier. And a man asked if he could give me my next baby. In front of my children. A huge number of men have no shame or game. Sparksgirl says, I'm saying this as gently as possible. But yeah, I think you're overreacting. The ring is a symbol, yes. But it's just that. A symbol.

[00:12:00] It isn't going to magically erase thirsty guys' intentions. It isn't a force field that magically stops flirting or outright questions of, Will you go with slash do X, Y and Z to me? I've been married three years. With my man for six. I took off my rings to shampoo my hair and thought they'd gotten lost. I didn't stress over it and he never said a single word. Because we know our relationship is much more than just those rings. P.S. I'd put them in my jewelry box. They weren't lost at all.

[00:12:28] If I were you, I'd sit quietly and ponder why you flipped out. Do you suspect her of stepping out? Did someone in the past use this ruse to dupe you? Do the rings mean more to you, symbolically, than they do to her? You don't have to tell me. And I hope you don't. Just ruminate about it silently and figure out why it bothers you so much. I hope you can figure out what it is. And one more comment from Amanda Ray who says, The ring doesn't prevent anything, but it's cute that you think that.

[00:12:56] You're both adults who have had a committed relationship for a long time. And if she proposed to you, she'd gone all this time without a ring anyways and still been a good partner to you. Don't get all weird about a ring. So OP comes in with her update and says, Wow. I never would have thought that this post would have blown up the way it did. I was amazed at the diversity of responses. I tried to read them all, but obviously that was impossible. Thank you to everyone that gave a thoughtful comment, insight, or advice.

[00:13:25] There were many moving parts to the original post and responses covered a wide array of topics. I ended up identifying the major themes of responses or trying to ignore extreme responses on either side. I.e. I'm an insufferable and controlling monster versus my wife is already getting dicked by multiple people. My main takeaways were that my passive aggressive comment at the start of the day was uncalled for and likely overshadowed the rest of our day date. This likely contributed to the tense and defensive word exchange later in the day.

[00:13:55] I also had no idea that so many married couples did not wear their wedding bands regularly slash if at all. My parents never took their rings off and I figured that's how it was with everyone. Clearly, that is not at all representative of the diverse array of ring wearing standards across individual relationships and individual spouses. Finally, I suppose I was naive thinking that wearing a wedding ring would deter people from hitting on my wife.

[00:14:20] When I was single, I would always double check if there was a ring on someone's finger before pursuing. I think someone is a real piece of shit if they knowingly hit on someone that's married. Okay, finally, here's the update. My wife came home from work. I work from home and we sat down for dinner. I started the conversation first by apologizing for my tone and snarky question the day before. She said thank you and accepted. I then said that I was triggered hearing her tell me that she was hit on by the cashier

[00:14:49] and her explaining that it may have been due to her not wearing a ring. She asked me whether I wanted her to tell me when people flirted with her. I said sure, but it's up to you. I assume that this happens frequently because she is so beautiful, etc. We hugged it out. I then asked that I was curious why she got so defensive in the car after the movie. She said she wasn't feeling great and that she didn't like me insinuating that it was her fault she got hit on and that she sometimes forgets to put her ring on.

[00:15:18] I apologized again and acknowledged that even though we've been together a decent amount of time, we never actually discussed what we wanted the value of our rings to represent. I actually suggested that I'd be okay wearing them less if that was more comfortable. She said that no, she still wanted to wear them out in public. Just that I need to understand that people forget things like this and it's normal. End of story. We're on good terms and she thanked me for bringing the topic up again so we could work things out together.

[00:15:47] Thanks again to this thread for sharing your diverse perspectives. Taken individually, a decent amount of comments weren't super helpful. But taken as a whole, clear trends were uncovered which I found incredibly useful. Special thanks to those who provided thorough responses and insights on their own marriage dynamics. Never thought this would have blown up, but I'm glad it did. Can we say that communication wins the day on this one? Maybe.

[00:16:13] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now this story comes from our very own subreddit. It's from SpiritualPie5587 and it says, I created the worst milkshake known to man. Killed a plant and hid the evidence for years. Back in fourth grade, I thought I was a scientist or maybe an artist.

[00:16:40] Either way, I decided to create what I proudly called a milkshake. Spoiler, it was not a milkshake. It was a nightmare in liquid form. The ingredients, ketchup, oil, salt, Coca-Cola and milk. Oof. Oh, and a little bit of misplaced confidence. I mixed it all together in an old container. Proudly holding what can only be described as the drink equivalent of a war crime. Now, I wasn't going to drink it.

[00:17:09] I'm not a monster. Instead, I decided to feed it to the nearest school plant. You know, because plants like water. And this was technically liquid, right? So I poured the entire thing into the soil of a poor, unsuspecting plant in my classroom. Within minutes, I realized something was wrong. The milkshake didn't sink in. It just sat there on top of the soil. A thick, unholy sludge. The smell? Indescribable.

[00:17:38] The plant, it looked like it was begging for mercy. At this point, I knew I messed up. Big time. My first instinct? Hide the evidence. So I grabbed the entire potted plant and shoved it into a cabinet, slamming the door shut like I was disposing of a body in a crime show. Oh. And that was it. I left the plant there and never looked back. Days turned into weeks and somehow no one ever found it.

[00:18:04] I don't know if the milkshake dried out or if the plant disintegrated into the void. But to this day, the cabinet remains a mystery. Looking back, I feel bad for the plant. It didn't deserve to go out like that. But hey, if you ever open a random cabinet in a random school in Czechia and find a cursed potted plant, now you know the story. Oh, that poor bloody plant.

[00:18:29] It was just a visual image of that plant in the cupboard from its perspective and the door being shut on it. I was just like, oh no. Rest in peace, that plant. But now, what do you guys make of that one? And we're going to move on straight to a true off my chest story. I saw this title and I'm going to give you a warning. If you're eating, drinking, whatever, you may want to skip this one. You'll get it from the title straight away. So I'm sure you'll know what to expect. But I saw this title and I was like, oh my word. It's from Yosui Zak Muckerberg who says,

[00:18:58] Shat myself on a first date. Haven't heard back from her. I'm still trying to process the events of a disastrous end to a first date. Two nights ago, I picked up a girl I've been chatting to for about a week. It was going great. We had a few drinks and a nice dinner and we were getting along pretty well. At the end of it, she'd been hinting she'd like to go back to her place, snuggle up and watch a movie. I was driving us back to her place, chatting it up when I felt it.

[00:19:27] I felt a fart coming on and I thought to myself, no worries. I'll just hold it in. But this fart was not going away. It was a pressure building. Gut busting monster of a fart. Oh dear. The kind that makes you feel painfully bloated. There was a petrol station on the way to her place. So I thought, I'll just pull in, fill up and let rip. I pulled up to the pump and once I was out of the pump, I let out what I thought was going to be a massive fart.

[00:19:56] But it wasn't just a fart. It was full on liquid. It was so loud too. I'm pretty sure she heard it from inside the car. I was mortified. The servo was closed inside so I couldn't even clean myself up. I had to get back in the car with shit literally dripping down my legs and hope that my date wouldn't notice. I thought I could maybe get back to her place and clean up in her toilet. But of course she did. As soon as I got back in the car, oh no, closed the door and started off.

[00:20:25] She rinkled up her nose with a disgusted look on her face and nearly gagging said, What's that smell? I tried to play it cool but I'm pretty sure I failed miserably. I could even smell it and she insisted we ride with both windows down. A few times she sounded like she was choking or gagging and I admit the smell was pretty strong. I was so embarrassed. The rest of the drive was awkward to say the least. We didn't talk at all and when I pulled up to her place she thanked me quick and hopped out. That was it.

[00:20:55] She didn't say goodnight or invite me in. I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing her again. LOL. It's been almost 20 hours since I last texted her and she hasn't replied. TLDR. I shat my pants on the first date at a petrol station. Had to get back in the car with my date and pretend nothing was wrong. Didn't get a second date. One of the top comments on this one said, Kinda hard to recover from that one. At least she will remember you for the rest of her life. DC says, No coming back from this bro.

[00:21:25] You literally shit yourself. If the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn't call her back. Put it down to experience and try not to shit your pants in the future. Ah, life advice there. Alien says, I love that piece of advice you've tacked on at the end there. As though he may not have thought of it. DC replied saying, I think it's an important lesson we can all learn. The less people that shit their pants, the better. Emperor said to OP, I would have accidentally sprayed myself with some gasoline to cover up the smell.

[00:21:55] Also, every gas station has those paper towel dispensers near the windshield cleaners. Would have gotten those or some rags and napkins. Said you spill gas on yourself and you need to dry yourself off. And gone around the corner to clean yourself up. Pick a weasel replies to that saying, You've got me howling. Show up back in the car covered in shit and gasoline. So I guess lesson of the day is, Never trust a fart in important situations. Holy moly. Anyway,

[00:22:23] And as someone who's been going through various stomach issues, tests and all that kind of stuff, and can no longer trust farts, I'm with you on that. I totally feel for you bro. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this? Sit you, It's going to say situation. That's too low mark. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time.

[00:22:52] It always means the absolute world. And I will see you in the next one. Take care. And much love. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.