I Didn't Inform My Parents The Event They're Missing Is Actually My Wedding r/Relationships

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[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, Warfoo Gang!

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I do hope you're well, my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02]: and if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider?

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_02]: And I like subscribe, maybe that notification bell too.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Much love guys.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, today's first story was a suggestion over on our own subreddit, our slash mark

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_02]: narrations from Ifajel.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure how to pronounce that.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I do apologize who said, mark community, you're going to love this one and shed the

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_02]: post, which is from shitty mum throwaway and says I'm IVR soul for not telling my parents

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_02]: that the event they were missing was my wedding.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Buckle up guys, this will be kind of long.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_02]: So I 27 female have a younger brother, Mike 21 male.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_02]: He's a definition of a man child and a mum's boy.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Always complaining, always expecting others to bow to him, just overall an Arsol.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Ever since he was born, Mike parents first over him for everything.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_02]: He's not special needs or had a traumatic birth or anything of the sort.

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_02]: He was just born and my parents completely discarded me.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: My mum 50 female, especially.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_02]: She went from a loving mother to one of those boy moms that people make fun of on the internet.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_02]: My father, 50 male, still showed me love and support but he's always been too much of a

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_02]: one who stood out for me was my grandpa 76 male, always called my parents on their bullshit

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: but never liked my brother.

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I remind him of his late wife, my grandma and we have a very special bond that he lives on

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_02]: the other side of the country and I could never see him often.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Mike knows our mum prefers him and loves to shove it in my face.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Because of this in his behavior, we've always been at odds.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_02]: He spoiled a brat and an awful human.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't remember how many times I ended up in trouble for things I'd be better than him or

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_02]: the things he framed me with.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_02]: His only talent art his football skills.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: He went to scholarship to a nice college out of state.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02]: My parents didn't spend a dime on my education because apparently, my fund had been used

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_02]: to cover expenses after a fire.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Just for me to discover years later that said money was given to Mike to buy a car and a house.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a public university that I met Lucas.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_02]: He was the first person I was really drawn to there.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course, I met new people who were now my dearest friends and thanks to them and Lucas

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_02]: who was my best friend for years before we got together.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I managed to move out of my parents' house.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Now both Lucas and I are well known in our fields and have very good salaries.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Now to the main issue, Lucas proposed to me a year ago.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_02]: We're very private people, so we didn't post it on social media or anything.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_02]: When I told my parents they dismissed it with a...

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_02]: ...ass nice.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm starting to think that they'd downright didn't listen to me at all.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_02]: We decided that we wanted a nice but simple ceremony and reception with our friends and relatives.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucas convinced me to invite my parents and brother, but they never responded to the invite.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And whenever I went to visit and began to talk about my wedding, without mentioning it was

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_02]: my mum would always speak over me and about my brother's accomplishments in wild adventures.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_02]: At one point I got fed up with it and interrupted my mum to tell her that there was an event

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I was planning to organize, whose date was unmovable. She told me that they couldn't attend

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_02]: because my brother was playing the last game of the season at the very same day

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_02]: and wanted them to be there. Of course this favoritism didn't surprise me.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_02]: They missed my ballet, shows and both my high school in university graduation for things about

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_02]: him. At this point I wanted to be petty. I told both my parents that it wasn't a problem to

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_02]: miss the event, purposely admitted the fact that this event was my wedding and didn't insist further.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Flash forward to a few weeks ago. I got married. It was perfect. My family, Lucas's family,

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and our friends were all there, and we had a blast. My grandpa was happy to give me away

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and it was just perfect. My relatives asked me multiple times when my parents weren't there with us.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I was honest and simply said that my brother's game to attend couldn't come.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_02]: They gave me a few looks and my grandpa was visibly angry for a while, but otherwise nothing strange

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_02]: happened. After the reception, Lucas and I left for our honeymoon, and were phone free for the

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_02]: but once we got back, we discovered that a shitstorm was welcoming us home. I turned my phone

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_02]: on and was unable to even unlock it before a storm of notifications popped up. Most of them were

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_02]: from my mother and brother. Might called me all sorts of nasty names and insulted me because apparently

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_02]: when my parental answer posted the photos of the wedding on Facebook and captioned it with a

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_02]: very obvious dig at my parents. Especially my mum, a miss in the wedding. A post apparently went

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_02]: high-roll in my parents' community and they've been publicly ashamed for their mistreatment of me.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_02]: It also turns out that my grandpa personally visited my parents to go on a tirade to shame my father.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_02]: His son, to the point of tears. And this seemed to be my father's breaking point,

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_02]: because he was so distraught for missing his only daughter's wedding and for his father's disapproval.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Eddie finally rebelled against my mum and his threatening divorce unless she makes it up to me.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's the reason why my mum has been spamming my phone with messages and first

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_02]: insulting and threatening and then downright pitiful, full of begging and pity parties.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm at home with my husband, deciding how to approach the situation.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Most of my relatives, even those I didn't invite to the wedding, reached out to a

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: apologise for what I went through and claimed that they had no idea this was happening at home.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Can't blame any of my relatives, they all live with my grandpart on the other side of the

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_02]: country or in another state. But my mum's sisters and friends are belittling me for not telling

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_02]: my mum about the wedding, because now she's inconcisable at the thought of having missed my wedding.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Personally, I think she just claims that to save face but I'm not sure.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_02]: The latest messages from my father and mother seem extremely sad and unheard for missing my wedding.

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Now my family is divided on three fronts, the majority who is sticking by my side.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_02]: My maternal aunt shaming me for hurting my mum's feelings and my maternal grandparents who are

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_02]: adamant that I forgive my mum in light of her atonement. My best friends are telling

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_02]: me to not listen to them, so read it, am I? The asshole. Not the asshole from me in this situation.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_02]: You told them about your engagement, they seem to have brushed it off, not even heard you in

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_02]: some way or purposely didn't hear you. You even sent them invites which allucers convince you to

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_02]: send and they never responded to the invite who's problem is that? And whenever you try to discuss

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_02]: you're wedding in any way, they sort of brushed it off again and kept talking about Mike and his

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_02]: accomplishments. These are consequences to their own actions here. They have to realize

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_02]: their wrongdoings and you don't have to forgive them either. You're the one who's had to

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_02]: deal with this kind of behavior for the 21 years Mike has been around. And in some ways I'm

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_02]: glad for you that they weren't there because I didn't sound like people that you really want

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_02]: around, but it sounded like people that would contribute anything to your wedding and it sounded

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_02]: like it was a more peaceful time without them. Again though, consequences of their own actions here.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_02]: City evening says not the asshole actions have consequences. Mike is the golden child,

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_02]: the point of things being dysfunctional. You created your life accordingly based on what they have

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_02]: done. Your mum controlling everything in your dad and enabling her, another unhappy because

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: they've been shamed for it. To right, I am however pleased your dad might be waking up.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Please give a hug or high five to Mr. Grandpa from me. Depending on what kind of guy he is,

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: you go and live your best life where people value you. Also congratulations to both you

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and your husband. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. Absolutely as well,

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: which it gives some praise to that grand by he sounds like an amazing support to a P in this. And

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_02]: again, like I commented, I said, a huge congratulations to you as well because I missed that out.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Jade Pumpkin says not the asshole, you invited them. You attempted to remind them several times.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_02]: They made it very clear that it wasn't a priority to them.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Person, I appreciate your concern. However, I not only invited my parents but also tried to include

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_02]: them in conversations about the wedding several times. My mum made it very clear that it wasn't

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_02]: a priority to her and that brother's event was. As you might be well aware, this is a pattern for them.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't make people make me a priority. I won't address this again. Thank you for understanding.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Missy Von muffling says not the asshole. You've told them about the wedding. They

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_02]: got an invite which they declined because of your brother's last game and there's nothing you

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_02]: could have done more. It's on them and I've fucked that noise coming from those blaming you.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Just don't react, don't engage. You did good, although I feel sad for you but I guess this

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: was the consequences of their decades long actions. Thought contacted enjoy your married life

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_02]: and congratulations. Davina the White says not the asshole. Your mother isn't sorry she

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_02]: missed a wedding. She's sorry that everyone found out she's a terrible mother, much abusive.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Ignor her. She made her choice a thousand times while you were a child. She can face the consequences

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_02]: of all those choices now. Your father, you could choose to forgive but remember he stood by and

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_02]: watched the abuse. Then neglect, find an auntie who shenanigans with your college funds.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: He watched it all and did nothing. It's just as culpable. Ignor anyone who has the nerve to tell

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_02]: you it's your fault your parents missed the wedding they were invited to. Because they couldn't

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_02]: be bothered to pay attention to the kind of invitation you gave them. You can't fix stupid

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and you can't fix a narcissist. Live your best life and let them sort their own mess out.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_02]: And one final comment which says not the asshole, why are you letting this bother you?

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Your parents and your brother are finally dealing with the consequences of their actions

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_02]: and then neglect. They've never supported you and they're just trying to save face for themselves.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Damage is done and they're dealing with a repercussions. But was it your responsibility to

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: fix things? The broken pieces are shards and you can never find all these pieces to put back together.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not worth the effort. I'm so sorry you continue to be mistreated. You deserve the happiness

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: you've built for yourself even if that means leaving certain people behind. Your mental health

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_02]: isn't worth it. Congratulations on your nobchaws. I kind of like that shards analogy

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_02]: a commenter added there. But before the update, OP edited the post and says thank you so much

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_02]: for the feedback and love it's overwhelming. I'm going to address the popular questions here.

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_02]: One, I did inform my parents about my wedding. I sent traditional paper invites to all my guests

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_02]: was notified that all invites had reached their addresses. I did not receive any answer

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_02]: from my parents and Mike. Very few distant relatives and some people on Lucas's side.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I did reach out to all of them through message to double check and those who hadn't replied told

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_02]: me they couldn't come. I asked my parents and brother via text but they didn't respond.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I was left on red. Knowing them and giving all the things I had to plan, I didn't bother insisting.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Do. I didn't repeat the day to my wedding because, at a rate of end told there was my brother's

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_02]: game. Plus, every time I insisted on highlighting my celebrations again and answer,

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I was always told that it wasn't that important and to not be pissy in a bother because some

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_02]: things were simply more important than me. At this point I think it's fair for me to not insist

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_02]: anymore. It's not worth the effort. Three, I didn't keep my wedding a secret. I avoided telling my

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_02]: parents that it was my wedding to see if they would be interested in the slightest but the price

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_02]: surprised they weren't. Despite this I did openly talk about my wedding with my aunts and uncle.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_02]: My mother was in the room with us a few times when I discussed venues or dress shops with my

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_02]: aunts. A Facebook post one but sometimes mum was on the phone. That other time she was just chatting

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_02]: with other people. She never paid attention. I talked about it during reunions, she smiled and said

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_02]: ask great-dia and then would change the subject. Radio silence on dad and Mike. Or I kept in

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: contact with him because well, all times I tried to go no contact in the past years I've been harassed.

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I've tried after my high school bachelor's and master's graduations to which they've never

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_02]: bothered to show up for reasons involving my brother. Every time I was shared for daring to turn

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_02]: my back on family by my parents. My brother, my maternal aunts and my maternal grandparents.

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I think the turning point here is that all those times Lucas wasn't by my side. We started

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: dating a little after my last attempt at going no contact and how that I have him here.

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel more confident in my stance but before that I wasn't this confident. As I already stated

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02]: all my paternal side lives on the other side of the country and wasn't aware of how they treated me.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I did try to expose my parents once at 14. My aunts, uncles and grandpa reprimanded them.

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_02]: They faked being sorry and then once I got home we got the beating and gas lighting in my life for lying.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: After that I kept in contact regularly with my paternal side but to meeting my parents a

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_02]: buttobucer a fear which to be honest still haunts me to this day. Only grandpa knew but he was always

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_02]: threatened to be alienated from me if he tried anything. 5. My parents and I are not from the same

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02]: city. I live in a city in our drive from my parents. Small town and they didn't know my new address

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_02]: because once my brother tried to break in my apartment to steal some cash and my mother backed him up.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Plaming that sibling share their goods. Now I moved and I'll be sure not to tell them where I live.

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_02]: 6. My parents didn't buy my brother on a car house before he even started high school.

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_02]: They bought a Macar for his 16th birthday and a house near his college when he began freshman year.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_02]: It didn't spend the money of my friend right away. They just lied to me to use it later for my brother.

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Give me a word later in the meantime.

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_02]: So then OP came in with a route day and said first of all I want to thank all of those who are

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_02]: interested in my story and those who wished me and my husband the happy life. I'm beyond grateful

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_02]: for your reassuring messages and your love and feedback. The response was overwhelming and beyond

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_02]: what I ever thought it could be. I love you all so so much. To those who believed my story was fake

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_02]: want to say that I'm happy your family life is better than mine. The point of thinking my

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_02]: ality is a fantasy but I'd appreciate if you stopped harassing me in the end.

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Plaming that I'm writing a fake story for attention. If I've missed a few details in the original

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_02]: post it's because I was overwhelmed and crying my eyes out because of my family's harassment.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_02]: They're not forced to read my story or think it's true but I think keeping the smallest amount

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_02]: of decency would be nice. Oh and before diving in the update let me clarify a few things.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_02]: One, yes the invitation was a silly state it was a wedding. No excuses. Two, my maternal

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_02]: side of the family didn't come to the wedding. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear in the original

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_02]: post. Both of them were busy and the others just gave me excuses to send a gift but not come.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_02]: That's it. They'll ask me why they didn't discuss my wedding with my mom. It's not like I live

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_02]: in their brain. Three, my mother's atonement is the fact that she apologized via text.

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, onto the update. Things have been a little crazy this past week. I got off read it for a

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_02]: couple of days to gather my thoughts and I had a lengthy conversation with Lucas about how to proceed.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He's been my rock and I don't think I could ever love him more than I already do.

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_02]: My parents were always a taboo topic but he hit me with a brutal reality check that I absolutely needed.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_02]: We reached a conclusion that the fact I kept in contact all this time stuck around and couldn't

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_02]: know contact isn't healthy. I've realized that the reason I never fully went to contact

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_02]: was that deep down I just wanted their approval even now for once.

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_02]: The third thing I know, but it's like a drug being with my parents. It can be loving,

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_02]: funny, caring and warm until they're not. The love they give makes you crave for more

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and you want their approval so badly you destroy yourself. But that's enough. I promise myself

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: that things are going to change. I thought about it and decided to start therapy and to go

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: no contact with all those who made an issue about the situation. Good this time.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_02]: After the day is dedicated and reflecting how I feel, ended up messaging my father to tell

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_02]: him that he wanted to talk about me to him, mum and Mike in a neutral location the following day.

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Immediately replied in agreed and we met at the park. My father's sisters and brother

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_02]: company does for damage control. My father looked distraught and as if he'd been crying for a while.

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_02]: My mum looked the same but I think it was more out of anger and embarrassment.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_02]: My brother looked annoyed. I told the three of them about how their behavior and preference

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: in regards to my brother always hurt me, that their abuse of behavior made me realise that

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't want contact with any of them again after that meeting. My mother tried to cut me off

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_02]: multiple times but my aunt, one who posted on Facebook, shut her up every single time.

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_02]: On AR stem, why they would treat me this way? I didn't know what to say.

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_02]: My father kept crying and apologizing without giving me an answer. My uncle reprimanded him for it.

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_02]: My mother seemed as if she was asking herself that for the first time but,

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_02]: but well in the end she just said that she simply disliked me.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't seem to be in my brother, he just liked the attention and making me miserable at some

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_02]: kind of sport. I went on with my questions. When I asked why they never responded to my invite,

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_02]: they claimed to have never received one. I showed them the text but they just, they denied receiving

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_02]: them and well it turns out they had an in fact received my wedding invitation. When I arrived

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_02]: to their house they weren't there. The only one in the house was my brother who'd come visiting for

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_02]: the weekend. He saw the invite and as many of you guessed, ripped it up and trashed it and then when

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I texted my parents he deleted the messages. It wasn't hard to do. According to him they kept

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: my chat archived and didn't get the notification. They, my parents never actually got a formal

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: invitation or just distraught. I asked Mike why he would do that and he just shrugged and claimed

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_02]: that it wasn't as important as the stuff they had in program anyway. I had to stop the

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_02]: lookers from punching him in the face. Strangely enough my parents were upset and started

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_02]: reprimanding him. He actually began to throw tantrum and cry crocodile tears and I must admit

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_02]: that I was kind of satisfied. But then my mom claimed that all was resolved and there was no need

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_02]: to fuss over and misunderstanding. That was time for me to clear their name. As set me off and I

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_02]: interrupted her telling her that they weren't forgiven at all, at just because Mike trashed

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_02]: the invite. It didn't mean it automatically cancelled all their neglects out. Plus all that time

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_02]: it was still very obvious that I was having a wedding and they should have asked about it.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to know my mother's response. He said something along the lines of,

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I did hear you talking about a wedding of yours but I just thought you were being delusional

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and seeking my attention with exaggerated scenarios. He was convinced Lucas didn't actually like

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_02]: me nor would ever marry me. When I tell you it was about the trasher face, you believe me.

[00:21:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Another thing came up it turns out that my brother didn't have a football game to go to a

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_02]: tour. My parents used the fact that my husband, friends, and I know little to nothing about football.

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_02]: He preferred soccer and the fact that I stopped asking about it when Mike would mock me during

[00:21:17] [SPEAKER_02]: his time in high school to make up a story to avoid my event. At the time I wrote the original

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_02]: post, I couldn't confirm or deny the presence of a game because my brother has a private social

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_02]: media and Lucas and I are blocked and I've fallen for trust in my parents' word. But no,

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_02]: you want to know where they went with that man child? He went to Disneyland because Mike wanted to go.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_02]: They used the football story to cover for my brother's hundreds of hands from holiday,

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_02]: but apparently they did multiple times in the past months. At that point I was just completely

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_02]: burnt out and overwhelmed by this amount of information. The fact that I've been fooled

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_02]: this badly that was so gullible genuinely made my blood boil. And I snapped. I stood up and told my

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_02]: father that he was a sad, weak man unable to stand at various kids unless his wife approved of it.

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I told my brother that he was a little dipshit, a poor excuse of a man that will not accomplish

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_02]: anything in his life and that it'll always live like the legion. AB to the point of uselessness.

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_02]: And to my mom, I told her that she was the worst narcissist, pathetic little woman on the earth

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_02]: and that she didn't deserve to be addressed and judged her irrelevance. That not even God could

[00:22:28] [SPEAKER_02]: help her out because she just too rotten. Ah, she knows. My mother shot up from a seat to scream at

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_02]: halfway through my rander, but I was just too mad. I shouted at her to shut the fuck up and

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_02]: sit down and listen for once. She got so mad. If that like steam was coming out of various.

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't remember much after that and I just kept talking and talking. It felt as if all my

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_02]: anger and hurt just flooded out. At one point I'm pretty sure the whole park was silent.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I spat at my parents and Mike that I was disowning them all and that if they're smart,

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_02]: they think before reaching out again. I took my person left with Lucas and her own Francis,

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_02]: leaving my parents and brother at my aunt and uncle's mercy. I think at some point the reality of

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_02]: what I had just learned and said finally hit me because I ended up having a panic attack on the way home.

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucas was driving so Anna helped me through it until we stopped in a park in a lot to calm me down.

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I am beyond grateful for their help. Once home I just fell on the bed and went to sleep.

[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I really wanted to go with your guys advice and post a whole thread on Facebook but given my

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_02]: work and career I couldn't expose myself like that. One thing is sharing my story from an anonymous

[00:23:38] [SPEAKER_02]: throwaway on Reddit, the other is on Facebook with my name and face plastered everywhere.

[00:23:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't go down that path instead I did something better. I made a fold up with all my

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_02]: mothers' insults messages and awful comments and sent it to the woman in charge of my mum's church.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a tight knit community, my mum worked her ass off to enter in. But that is also extremely

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_02]: judgmental and being shunned by them is a death sentence. Well that's exactly what happened.

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Just like clockwork the scandal spread like wildfire,

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_02]: going out of the church and reaching the rest of the small town. You can imagine what it means

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_02]: my mother and father. Because of my little spill I did find other messages from my maternal

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_02]: side of the family, be a little in me even more for upsetting their sister or daughter and insulting

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_02]: her. I just didn't care anymore at that point so I followed your guys advice and told them

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_02]: that from now on you will no longer be a part of my life, but they can talk shit all they want.

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I just won't care. Instead they should be grateful I don't send their nasty texts of their

[00:24:38] [SPEAKER_02]: employers and spouses. I blocked every single one of them. Grandparents included from everything.

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I did find a lengthy message for my father. Your apologise for not being strong enough to face

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_02]: greed that what I said was true and couldn't believe that he had lost so much in my life

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_02]: because of her. He told me he is going to divorce and no matter what my decision will be

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_02]: because he is tired of being controlled. I would like a relationship with me to make it for

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_02]: all the years at past. I did reply to him to tell him that as of now I really don't want to see

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_02]: him or forgive him. His reply that he had tries best to win me back, that he loves me.

[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I replied back that as of now I find that hard to believe and then blocked him too.

[00:25:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Frankly his slimy way of trying to have an out from the situation by throwing my mother

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_02]: under the bus is pathetic, at least she was hateful and owned up to it. It is only able to blame

[00:25:29] [SPEAKER_02]: others for his choices. I don't want to surround myself with people like that. My mother and brother

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_02]: are blocked similarly to my maternal side. Like wrote her the message just at torrent and insult

[00:25:40] [SPEAKER_02]: me and I just blocked him. My mum threw herself a pity party for being shunned by a community

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: and for her marriage going into shambles. And I just replied good riddance before blocking

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_02]: her too. As my grandpa is decided to stay with us for a while and stick by my side, you really

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_02]: is the best. That's read some of your comments. Isn't going to admit that he's flattered by them.

[00:26:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Since then a few days have passed and all has been quiet. Lucas is spoiling me rotten and starting

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_02]: very soon. I know this isn't the drama filled revenge for update you hope for, but well this is it.

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll let you know if anything changes or evolves. Thank you so much for the love and support you showed

[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_02]: me. I think I'm going to log out now. That's for now. Goodbye. Wow wow wow you know you said

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_02]: it's not the drama filled revenge for update or whatever but it sounds like in some ways you certainly

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_02]: told them what's what and like we always say in these stories the best former avengers living

[00:26:43] [SPEAKER_02]: your best life cut enough these people. And you know you're absolutely doing it and I think

[00:26:49] [SPEAKER_02]: you'll find in the future it's going to hurt for a while of course because like you said it's not

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_02]: it's not easy to cut off these people. Some people may be but when you've had all this sort of

[00:26:59] [SPEAKER_02]: stuff normalised like you explained perfectly in this story. As like a drug you want they're approval

[00:27:05] [SPEAKER_02]: that sometimes you know they were funny caring on warm but and they're not and the abusive

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_02]: side comes out and it just keeps going round in circles. And I don't mean this in a patronising way

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_02]: in any way shape or form but I can't express enough how proud I am of when someone realises

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_02]: that toxic behavior in the sides to cut it off like that because I think it is difficult for most

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_02]: people to even recognize that behavior first. I've learnt so much from reading these stories over

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_02]: when I was younger in the area I lived mental health was never discussed at all really. Obviously

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_02]: it's there but it wasn't discussed here in certain ways. There was no talk of depression,

[00:27:47] [SPEAKER_02]: there was no talk of narcissists, there was no talk of you know in title months and gaslighting

[00:27:54] [SPEAKER_02]: and all this kind of thing but reading these stories gives me flashbacks to like growing up

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and recognising you know some of the stories that I've talked about in the past and you recognise

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: that some of these people obviously not all of them but some of these people will clearly not mentally

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_02]: well. And that's what I just find mind-blowning about these stories just because it just gives me

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_02]: flashbacks to my past and certain people but also helps me learn myself for the future at the same time

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_02]: especially in the way that OBE put it in there explaining it like a drug you know and and the looping

[00:28:28] [SPEAKER_02]: process that they went through. Wow but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you

[00:28:35] [SPEAKER_02]: guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below just a huge

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_02]: thank you for suggesting this story over on our own subreddit by the way really appreciated hopefully

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll see you in the next one take care and much love.

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