I Defended A Bride Who Left Her Fiance At The Altar, Everyone Turned On Me r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider in the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first story which comes from the am I the asshole here subreddit and says am I the asshole for defending a bride who left her husband at the altar?

[00:00:26] Okay, so boom me and my husband attended a wedding. It was kind of his cousin and niece's wedding. I'm not sure how to describe the relationship but they were close growing up.

[00:00:38] The wedding was a bit unique. There was a brunch before the actual ceremony with the bride and groom. Then for an hour the wedding party left to get ready while all the guests were still at brunch. Then the actual ceremony and the real reception was supposed to happen after.

[00:00:52] I thought everything was normal. At the brunch the couple looked happy and excited and a little nervous maybe. My husband had told me there had been a little drama leading up to the wedding because the groom's family insisted that the groom's ex should attend the wedding because they have a good relationship. The ex is an EMT and she apparently saved mother-in-law's life once. The bride didn't want the ex to attend but she caved in. At the actual ceremony as you might have guessed from the title, the bride never showed.

[00:01:22] After a few minutes of awkward silence with the music playing as we waited for the bride, the bride's father came and told everyone she left. Groom was crying, mother-in-law was screaming, it was such a huge mess. At the reception they basically just told people to take to-go boxes of food so it didn't go to waste.

[00:01:42] Since a lot of family was in town for the wedding, bride's side of the family was hosting a reunion. At the reunion the bride said the reason she left groom at the altar was because at the brunch the ex told her that she slept with the groom and apparently showed the bride a sex tape she made with the groom.

[00:01:59] The bride was distraught and left because she didn't want to marry a cheater. Groom's side of the family was slandering the bride on every social media platform possible.

[00:02:07] So the bride's side decided to fire back and they were publicly accusing the groom of cheating on her and it was just a big shitstorm.

[00:02:15] Groom comes to bride's house to try and clear things up. So the groom didn't actually cheat on the bride. The sex tape was from years and years ago. The groom's appearance just hadn't changed that much so bride believed the ex when she said it was recent.

[00:02:30] The ex was just trying to break them up. The ex confessed to it too.

[00:02:34] To my surprise, instead of everyone being angry at the ex, everyone turned on the bride. Her family was pissed at her for wasting money, being gullible, not letting the groom defend himself first.

[00:02:45] Everyone was yelling at her. I thought it was crazy so I spoke up in her defense.

[00:02:49] I would have believed it too if there was video evidence plus the fact that she was practically forced into the ex attending their wedding.

[00:02:56] Now the whole family is against me and the bride and it's so awkward and everyone's acting cold.

[00:03:02] My husband is upset because she now feels like if someone accused him of cheating on me, I'd just take their word for it. But I feel that's completely unfair.

[00:03:11] So the OP on this one was replying to some comments that were saying you're the arsehole.

[00:03:16] OP says I do think it would have been better if she talked to the groom and I understand he probably felt humiliated getting left like that but

[00:03:23] All of this happened so quickly. I understand why the bride left him at the altar.

[00:03:29] Right after she left the brunch to get her hair and makeup on her wedding day, her emotions and anxiety were probably already running high

[00:03:35] and the groom's ex, who she did not want now, walks up to her and shows her a video of her having sex with the groom

[00:03:41] while he's somewhere else getting ready and has a venue full of people.

[00:03:44] And it's not like she was planning on not talking to the groom.

[00:03:47] The reunion was literally the day after all this happened in less than 24 hours.

[00:03:53] OP's relationship to the bride, OP says she's technically his niece but because they're so close in age, they just say cousin.

[00:03:59] Responding to a comment about it being from the ex, OP said what happened to the bride was not just a random stranger saying he cheated on her.

[00:04:07] His ex, who the whole family vouches for her character, showed the girl a literal sex tape of her and the groom

[00:04:13] like half hour before the bride was supposed to walk down the aisle.

[00:04:16] If someone told me my husband cheated on me on a random day, I would confront him and I'm sure the bride would have done the same in a different situation.

[00:04:25] But 30 minutes before you're supposed to walk down the aisle with video proof?

[00:04:29] That's a very unique situation.

[00:04:32] Library Mouse says the fault lies with the mother-in-law for insisting on the ex coming and the ex for lying to break them up.

[00:04:38] Mother-in-law was probably behind the lie as well and got what she wanted, which was for them to split.

[00:04:44] Anyone defending the mother-in-law or ex should be ashamed.

[00:04:47] Ex is an EMT.

[00:04:49] Bride should go to get job and report her behavior.

[00:04:52] What she did has nothing to do with the job but it shows bad character.

[00:04:56] Bride should also sue the ex for the cost of the wedding.

[00:04:58] She intentionally caused the problem that ended the wedding so she should pay for it.

[00:05:03] OK Cap says how does the bride know that the sex tapes were old?

[00:05:07] Because the groom said so and the liar of ex said so.

[00:05:10] How does she know that it's just not their cover story?

[00:05:14] Opie replied saying this crossed my mind but I don't feel comfortable saying this to anyone with how things are right now.

[00:05:21] Angel says my mind just went to the mother-in-law being in on this.

[00:05:25] Seriously though, what that ex-girlfriend did is so fucked.

[00:05:28] Hope Karma greets her swiftly.

[00:05:30] As for the bride, I feel so badly for her.

[00:05:33] To be ambushed with information like that while getting ready is brutal.

[00:05:37] I sincerely hope she's OK.

[00:05:39] OK Minimum says I mean, this is all a bit suspicious still.

[00:05:42] If I was the bride, I still wouldn't rush into marriage with him.

[00:05:45] I'd want to see the dates on that video as proof which I'm sure you'll be able to do on a phone.

[00:05:50] Which I'm assuming this was taken on.

[00:05:52] Also, if I'd been shown a sex tape of my soon-to-be husband,

[00:05:56] then I'd still need time to recover from that before marrying him.

[00:05:59] He knew she didn't want the ex at the wedding but allowed mother-in-law to bully her into it.

[00:06:04] I'd need boundaries put in place there.

[00:06:06] The fact that everyone is attacking her and it feels like he's not doing enough to throw them off her back.

[00:06:11] Yeah, she's getting a glimpse into her future.

[00:06:13] She's not just marrying him but his family and I'm not liking what I'm seeing.

[00:06:18] Either way, she made the right choice not to marry him today.

[00:06:21] Serious change needs to happen before she makes that commitment.

[00:06:25] And I was getting that vibe as well from the initial part of the story that mother-in-law is, you know, behind pulling some strings here.

[00:06:32] I didn't like the fact that the bride got overruled by mother-in-law of all people to allow the ex to turn up.

[00:06:39] Which was strange in itself that, you know, husband didn't step in.

[00:06:42] It just gave me vibes of previous stories that we've read where, like, mother has got her claws so embedded.

[00:06:49] And of course, it would have been absolutely embarrassing and devastating for the groom at the same time to be stood at the front now to bride not turn up.

[00:06:58] But again, like some of the comments were saying, under normal circumstances, I think, I hope that people would discuss this to work out what the fuck is going on.

[00:07:08] Because you know it's to do with the ex.

[00:07:09] And I'm sure there's more information about this ex and mother-in-law that's turned up in the past.

[00:07:14] I'm sure this is just not a one-time thing here.

[00:07:16] But again, to have this information dropped on you at an already and emotionally charged time like your wedding day, 30 minutes before the ceremony.

[00:07:27] Of course, there's always the ideal way to deal with things.

[00:07:30] Was this it?

[00:07:31] Probably not.

[00:07:32] You know, we're humans and we don't always deal with things in the best ideal way.

[00:07:37] But I also think with the mother-in-law in the background putting the strings, the ex.

[00:07:41] And I feel like some of the comments were saying the ex and the mother-in-law's relationship.

[00:07:45] You know, it's raised a lot of questions for their relationship at the same time and moving forward, regardless of what happens.

[00:07:51] So Opie came in first with their mini update and said, okay, so my hubby came back to the hotel room.

[00:07:56] And I showed him the post because he knows I like using Reddit.

[00:07:59] I mentioned a specific comment to him where one Redditor asked me how we were sure the tape was old and the groom and the ex aren't just covering their affair up by lying and saying it's old.

[00:08:10] I told my husband that first he laughed, but he started to think about the whole situation, I guess.

[00:08:15] While hubby was still at the bride's house trying to help with the situation after I left, the environment was getting too much for me.

[00:08:22] So I went back to the hotel.

[00:08:24] The groom had already been groveling to the bride.

[00:08:26] Even though he was exonerated by ex admitting it was fake, he was still being very apologetic, which threw my husband off a bit.

[00:08:33] Like even though he maintained he didn't cheat.

[00:08:36] Instead of husband being angry about being left at the altar and publicly humiliated, he seemed to just want wife to forgive him.

[00:08:42] I thought this would be normal because groom probably feels horrible about allowing the ex to ruin the day and hurt the wife like that.

[00:08:49] But my husband said it was unusual behavior for the groom.

[00:08:52] Apparently the groom is the high horse type and he would never apologize for a mistake that wasn't his.

[00:08:59] Husband knows the groom better than me.

[00:09:01] So my husband thinks it's plausible that the groom did cheat by the way he's acting.

[00:09:05] But he's not going to bring it up because of how high tensions are and it might just make things worse.

[00:09:11] I also explain how and why I felt like my husband was being unfair to me by saying he thinks I'd believe anyone who accused him of cheating on me.

[00:09:19] He apologized and told me he was just stressed out earlier.

[00:09:22] He feels like we wasted money on this trip and went and seen or I assume it means didn't see our kid for days over this wedding that got blown up over a lie.

[00:09:31] Bride texts me thanking me for defending her.

[00:09:33] Most of the slandering social media posts were taken down.

[00:09:37] The ex posted on social media playing victim.

[00:09:40] Well not really but she's posting like heartbreak stuff and those fucking depressed Bart Simpson memes.

[00:09:47] At her big age, the groom's mother pulled up to the bride's house after I left and was threatening to burn the place down.

[00:09:54] Because she was mad the bride humiliated her son over a lie.

[00:09:57] Because it was such a huge wedding he had many co-workers and stuff there.

[00:10:02] I feel like I'm missing something but I'm tired and it's been a long ass day.

[00:10:06] Edits plus question.

[00:10:08] A few people are saying that I should show this post to the bride.

[00:10:11] But I'm a bit scared she won't react well to me putting her business online because I don't know her that well.

[00:10:17] But at the same time, I feel like she might appreciate that most people are on her side.

[00:10:21] But also, I don't really want her to see my conspiracy theory about how the husband actually cheated on her because there's no actual proof.

[00:10:30] Should I?

[00:10:31] Someone says,

[00:10:33] Coming in after the mini update, groom's behavior is sus.

[00:10:37] Does the sex tape show any defining features that the groom does have now, but didn't have during the time bride and groom were together?

[00:10:44] Say a tattoo he's gotten a year into a bride and groom's relationship.

[00:10:48] Or a scar from not knowing how to handle power tools correctly.

[00:10:52] Something that's distinctive and can help date the video.

[00:10:55] Opie says,

[00:10:56] No one's really seen tape except bride.

[00:10:58] I think, and it was only for a short period of time.

[00:11:01] Bloody hell, not the Bart Simpson Facebook memes.

[00:11:04] But Opie comes in with another update and says,

[00:11:07] Okay, so I decided to send this to bride.

[00:11:09] I also told my mother-in-law, who I'm super close with, what was going on.

[00:11:13] I'll start with bride first.

[00:11:15] So as I predicted, she was a little mad.

[00:11:18] I put her business online.

[00:11:19] I called her and we made small talk for a couple of minutes avoiding the elephant.

[00:11:23] But then I told her I posted about this on Reddit.

[00:11:26] I sent her the link while we're in the call.

[00:11:28] She didn't yell or anything, but she told me I shouldn't have done that.

[00:11:32] I assured her I didn't use any names or defining descriptions and she hung up the phone.

[00:11:37] A few minutes later, she called me back and told me she scrolled through the comments and stuff and it made her feel a bit better.

[00:11:43] Then she apologized for snapping at me, but I didn't feel like she did.

[00:11:47] She told me that she felt like a lot of comments were blowing things out of proportion when it comes to how you guys speak of the mother-in-law and groom.

[00:11:55] She said mother-in-law isn't evil like the post made her out to be.

[00:11:59] She also said she understands why mother-in-law insisted on X being at the wedding.

[00:12:03] And that when mother-in-law threatened to burn the house down, she wasn't being serious and it was taken out of context.

[00:12:08] When I asked stuff like, are you still going to get married to the groom?

[00:12:12] She just kept saying I don't know and she sounded sad so I dropped it.

[00:12:16] She also told me she doesn't think groom cheated on her and that my husband just has a bad perception of groom because he has a hard shell to crack.

[00:12:24] After she hung up on me, my husband called his mother to update her on what's happening because she couldn't make it to the wedding.

[00:12:30] My husband's mother told us that the X never really saved mother-in-law's life.

[00:12:35] Basically, all she did was inject her with an EpiPen for a mild allergy.

[00:12:40] My mother-in-law feels like saying she saved her life was just for dramatics to guilt the bride and to let an X attend the wedding.

[00:12:46] My mother-in-law also feels like the bride's mother-in-law had nothing to do with the X sabotaging the wedding.

[00:12:52] She said the bride's mother-in-law isn't an idiot.

[00:12:55] Even if she did love the X that much, she would never purposely ruin her son's wedding because she's one of those boy mums.

[00:13:02] I'm not so sure about that.

[00:13:04] Turning up to someone's house saying they're going to burn the fucking place down is a little bit on the extreme side, I think.

[00:13:11] So two months after that update, Opie comes in again and says people wanted to know if they're still together, so here I am.

[00:13:18] In the weeks following, they made up somewhat and agreed to do couples counseling to rebuild trust.

[00:13:23] They decided to remain engaged until they felt they fully trusted each other again, which happened way too quick in my opinion.

[00:13:30] Because like three weeks after they started counseling, they announced another wedding ceremony.

[00:13:35] I was not invited to this one.

[00:13:37] Then this new wedding got called off.

[00:13:39] X moved states away like a month ago.

[00:13:42] Groom removed the X on all his social medias as far as I could tell.

[00:13:45] The bride removed all the pictures she was with the groom off social media after the wedding was called off, but the groom still has photos and videos of the bride on his.

[00:13:53] My husband said the bride wanted to break up, but the groom is holding on tight and completely love bombing her like handwritten letters in the mail.

[00:14:02] Roses at a workplace.

[00:14:03] Straight out of a movie.

[00:14:05] The bride won't tell anyone why the wedding was called off the second time.

[00:14:09] She's kind of distancing herself from everyone, which I understand, but kind of her, because me and her started texting and being friendly after the first fiasco.

[00:14:17] But she's having a rough time, so I'm not too upset over it.

[00:14:20] My mother-in-law told me that she had heard the bride is pregnant, but honestly, I don't think that's true.

[00:14:26] Because me and the bride were friendly and she told me before, she started pulling away, that her and the groom were abstaining from sex until their relationship was mended.

[00:14:34] And there was a whole range of comments on the back of this one.

[00:14:37] Some people saying that they wouldn't have ran from the altar just because the ex showed a video that they would have known what the ex was like, etc.

[00:14:45] Other people saying that they could see that the breakup was coming in the very end here, especially with that last update.

[00:14:52] Other people saying the groom definitely cheated.

[00:14:55] And you know me, my mind always goes off in random places while reading this story.

[00:14:59] I was thinking about the first part of the post when, you know, after this wedding was called off, everyone turns up at this reception and they say,

[00:15:07] Oh, everyone just takes some to-go boxes with food, which obviously, you know, is a good thing to do.

[00:15:11] Let's not waste the food here.

[00:15:13] Absolutely.

[00:15:14] But can you just imagine the tension in that room?

[00:15:17] Everyone stood at the table.

[00:15:18] Everyone stood in a little queue with these little boxes waiting to collect your food before you suddenly just walk out the door with it.

[00:15:25] But, oh dear, it's putting me on edge just talking about it.

[00:15:29] And are you allowed to ask for a slice of cake?

[00:15:32] Is that too far?

[00:15:34] Gee whiz.

[00:15:34] Anyway, now I'm going to turn this one to you.

[00:15:36] My mind's gone to cake.

[00:15:38] I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:15:39] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:15:41] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:15:44] And let's move on to another story.

[00:15:46] Now, we have a little cheeky one from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from Kind yesterday, 3237, and says,

[00:15:54] Am I the arsehole for demanding that my niece or her parents pay me back for the hundreds of dollars of perfume she stole from me?

[00:16:01] OP starts off by saying,

[00:16:03] Note, I'm not involved in the police, suing anyone, etc.

[00:16:07] Please don't try to argue with me about this or convince me why I should.

[00:16:12] I have a perfume collection that, when I was a teenager, slinging burritos at my first job.

[00:16:18] I have over 400 bottles at this point.

[00:16:21] I take great pride in my collection and I use it.

[00:16:24] I'm also happy to give people decants, samples of most of my bottles.

[00:16:29] Let them sample a spray or two.

[00:16:30] Give some bottles as gifts, etc.

[00:16:33] What I have a huge fucking issue with is my 17-year-old niece coming into my home under the guise of walking my dog,

[00:16:39] decanting bottles on her own and selling the samples to her little friends.

[00:16:44] She thinks that because I have so many bottles, I wouldn't notice some missing or getting massive dents in them.

[00:16:50] Well, little miss entrepreneur failed to realize that her private Instagram wasn't friends only or whatever,

[00:16:56] and I saw each and every fucking story with each price and sample she had.

[00:17:01] I tallied that shit up and got pretty much a good estimate based on cost per ounce.

[00:17:06] Thankfully, she mostly picked the TikTok famous perfumes like Bianco Latte and Escapade Gourmand.

[00:17:14] I don't know if I'm pronouncing this correctly, I do apologize.

[00:17:17] And did go for the most rare niche perfumes.

[00:17:21] She did snatch an entire 2.5 ounce bottle of Baccarat Rouge though,

[00:17:26] which runs 300 plus dollars at most retailers.

[00:17:29] As well as full bottles of perfumes you can get at Sephora, like Marc Jacobs Daisy.

[00:17:35] Oh, it's not that one that goes Daisy, Daisy, Daisy adverts, is it?

[00:17:38] Oh, no.

[00:17:39] Where it looks like they're in some kind of cult.

[00:17:41] Oh, dear.

[00:17:42] I'm going off anyway.

[00:17:43] Burberry hair elixir, flower bomb, etc.

[00:17:46] Petty or not, I printed out the entire list of what she'd taken, price estimates,

[00:17:51] and handed it off to my sister, her mum.

[00:17:54] I said that I expect to be paid back in full.

[00:17:57] And of course, her fucking sneaky little ass is never allowed in my home again.

[00:18:01] My sister got super pissy with me going on about how my niece is just a kid.

[00:18:05] Kids make mistakes, etc.

[00:18:07] I said yes, kids make mistakes.

[00:18:09] And this is a great way for my niece to learn from hers.

[00:18:12] Their argument is now that the money she was going to use for a car has to go to towards paying me back.

[00:18:18] I don't care.

[00:18:19] She's lucky that I have no interest in involving the police, small claims, or any of that.

[00:18:23] But am I the arsehole?

[00:18:24] Because she is a teenager.

[00:18:28] Absolutely not the arsehole.

[00:18:30] As you say, actions have consequences.

[00:18:31] And this is the consequences of her actions.

[00:18:35] And she's very lucky you're not going any further with this, in my opinion.

[00:18:39] But Poutius Penguin says she's just a kid who successfully created a successful business enterprise selling stolen property.

[00:18:46] Not the arsehole.

[00:18:48] Time yesterday replied to that, the OP saying,

[00:18:51] This is part of what bugs me.

[00:18:52] If she had come to me and asked me if she could sell a handful of her friends some samples,

[00:18:57] I might have entertained the idea.

[00:18:59] I know getting samples for niche perfumes is a hassle, but nope, she screwed herself out of that one.

[00:19:05] Tempting Penguin says not the arsehole.

[00:19:07] I can see from the fact that her mum considers a 17-year-old just a kid,

[00:19:10] as if she were a 5-year-old who stole a cookie before dinner,

[00:19:14] has caused her to act very entitled.

[00:19:15] She made a series of decisions to steal from you and profit from it.

[00:19:19] And she's either just a kid when she's stealing pricey cents,

[00:19:22] or she's almost an adult saving up for a car.

[00:19:25] Can't have it both ways on your dime.

[00:19:27] You'll be teaching her a better lesson than her mum bothered to.

[00:19:30] And a final comment from Nato Asano who says,

[00:19:33] A mistake would be accidentally knocking over and breaking a bottle.

[00:19:36] She had to.

[00:19:38] Make a plan.

[00:19:39] Find a way into your house.

[00:19:40] Choose a perfume.

[00:19:42] Put it into a sample bottle.

[00:19:44] Look up prices.

[00:19:45] She also had to get those sample bottles, so she had to order them from somewhere.

[00:19:49] Set up her Instagram.

[00:19:50] Collect the money.

[00:19:51] Deliver the perfume.

[00:19:53] Repeat.

[00:19:53] Repeat.

[00:19:54] At any one of these points, she could and should have realized that what she was doing was wrong

[00:19:58] and could get her in trouble.

[00:20:00] The only reason she thought she could do this is because

[00:20:02] she thought she wouldn't face any consequences because you are family.

[00:20:06] Imagine if she went into Sephora and stole a perfume to sell it.

[00:20:09] Would her mum say,

[00:20:10] Oh, she's just a kid.

[00:20:12] Someone who is old enough to think about getting a car with that level of criminal energy

[00:20:16] is definitely old and mature enough to face the consequences of their own actions.

[00:20:20] She will only escalate from this point on if she gets away with this.

[00:20:25] All I've gotten stuck in my head is that bloody Marc Jacobs Daisy advert now.

[00:20:28] I mean, it drives me wild, but it's one of those ones that's like,

[00:20:31] it's good marketing, isn't it?

[00:20:33] Because it's been stuck in my head forever.

[00:20:35] Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy.

[00:20:38] I always forget to use my effects panel on my mic setup.

[00:20:42] I'm not sure if that's a good use of it, but hey.

[00:20:44] Anyway, now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:20:47] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:50] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:20:53] Now, just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:20:55] Get involved in the stories.

[00:20:56] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:00] So thank you so, so much for being involved.

[00:21:02] And hopefully I will see you in the next one.

[00:21:05] Take care and much love.