I Cut Off My Sister When She Threatened To Sue Me For The House My Dad Gifted Me r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting our like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Additional Loan4140. And it says, am I the asshole for cutting off my sister and telling her she's no longer welcome in my house after threatening to sue me?

[00:00:31] So I, 26 female, have a sister, 31 female. Let's call her Jane. Jane is not my bio sister but we grew up in the same household. For as long as I can remember, Jane has had this victim mentality. Mum died when she was young. Dad was never in the picture but my mum, her aunt slash godmother took her in. She lived with us for 13 years before she got married and moved to Idaho with her husband.

[00:00:57] We never had the best relationship growing up but I assumed it was just sibling rivalry and we would grow out of it like me and my baby sister, 25 female. My mum passed away in 2020 and Jane thought it was only right that she inherit my mum's engagement ring even after declaring at the funeral that my mum was not her mum, just a woman who helped raise her. I then moved back into my parents home because I felt bad for my dad and didn't want him to be alone.

[00:01:25] After converting the top floor of our three-storey home into a mini apartment for myself, Jane raised concerns that there would be no space for her to come home to during Christmases. But we made due. My dad recently paid off the home and signed the deed over to me under the condition that he'd live there rent-free until he dies since I'd been helping him pay the mortgage and will continue to pay the taxes on the home. I dismantled the apartment on the third floor, making it once again a five-bedroom home.

[00:01:53] However, two of the bedrooms my sister used to occupy are now a walk-in closet and room for my dogs. I added a pool, a new bathroom, renovated the kitchen and turned the basement into a bar lounge. Once this was completed, Jane asked me how we'd split the sale of the home. I was confused as to what she meant. I was not selling my home. She stated that since my dad paid it off when he died, that the house would go to all of us and we should just get ahead and sell the property now.

[00:02:21] I told her I was not selling and that my dad signed it over to me. She then said she would call someone to appraise the home and I would have to buy her and my little sister out. When I told her again that I owned the home, I was not selling and she was not getting any money, she threatened to sue me. I told her to leave. A few weeks later, she called my dad to ask what the plans were for Christmas and if I was going to be staying in a hotel since I could not be cordial.

[00:02:49] My dad told her I would not be staying in a hotel, but she was still welcome to come and stay with us. I politely informed him that she nor her family were welcome to stay and if he needed to stay with her over the holidays, he could also stay in a hotel. Now she's called my whole family and gone on a campaign of how evil I am for doing this over the holidays. Most of my family agrees with her except a few who do not want to be involved, saying that she only said she'd sue me out of anger after realizing something else was taken from her.

[00:03:19] Her mom, her dad, my mom, now her childhood home. Which leads me to believe that maybe they are right. Am I being too harsh on her after all her struggles in life? Or is she simply just a bitch? Edit. Little sister is fine. Please stop worrying about her. She's not a problem. Hence, why I did not list everything she got from our mom or dad. First little update in the same post says, I suggested my dad stay in a hotel with Jane because he was insistent that she spend Christmas with him.

[00:03:48] I didn't say he couldn't live with me anymore. I don't think it's unreasonable to not want to be around someone who wanted to sue and may still try. I also got the engagement ring. I thought it was crazy that someone declared that's not my mom but wanted a ring that my dad bought. Also, little sister got the wedding bands. Dad also gave Jane significant amounts of money to open her own bakery. Little sister took over his business. I got home and the retirement and life insurance will be split in three.

[00:04:16] When or if he passes. Because he can't die to be honest. I found it weird that Jane is trying to or wanting to sell the house anyway whilst your dad is still here. But Jane rejected being your mom's daughter at the funeral. So saying she's like not part of the family. Just she said just a woman who helped raised her. But now wants to claim sort of like daughter's rights to the house. You know, you can't have it both ways in this situation.

[00:04:47] And as always, I wonder what she has told to the family to turn on you like that. Because I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the truth. Opie added a little clarification within the comments as well and said, Okay, update clarification. My dad is 60. He's not ill or going to die soon. God forbid. He already signed the house over to me. He just wants to live there so he doesn't have to stress about bills or anything.

[00:05:13] My sister was under the impression he paid it off and we would sell it and split it in four. And since I wanted to live there, I'll be buying the house from my dad and he just signed it over to me. But Broom Rider says not the asshole. It was very kind to your parents to give her a home as a child. That doesn't necessarily mean she's entitled to inherit. Besides, your dad has already signed the house over to you as it's mutually beneficial to you both. That means it's your house. Period.

[00:05:40] But the part that really gets me is that she wants to go ahead and get it over with. That is an appalling mindset. Does she care about your dad and his wishes? Where does she expect him to live? To me, that just demonstrates that she just cares about herself and is trying for a money grab. Stand your ground. Stand your ground. Legal says no, your arrangement with your father is your business. She has no claims to anything unless he has stipulated as such in his will upon his death. As the house is yours and not part of his estate, it's not up for grabs.

[00:06:10] She doesn't have a case. Given her extremely rude and entitled behavior, you have every right to distance yourself from her. Any family members you think otherwise can pound sand. They don't get a vote and their opinions don't matter. The contribution says not the arsehole and make sure you have your father write a statement that the house is yours and have at least a doctor's evaluation that he has welled during the time he wrote it. The thing is that only your younger sister can request his will and your mother's to be looked at. But not Jane.

[00:06:40] I'm guessing she was never necessarily adopted because she was your mother's niece. Your father didn't sign any paperwork either, did he? Doesn't matter. He is alive and the things he passed away in life to you isn't an inheritance. But your younger sister and his blood daughter might contest that his will is unbalanced in the end. That you earned a lot more than she did. Just like he took 40 years to pay for the house and you only pay slash help with the last five. It's not like you bought the house full price slash market price.

[00:07:09] Whatever you do, lawyer up. So, OP comes in with her update and says the family wedding was over the weekend and everything there was great. No drama and I kept my distance from Jane. The bride was not outstaged at all. Well, not by me and the drama at least. However, Sunday after the wedding, my aunt Renee called me to ask if I'd be coming over to dinner to celebrate Christmas early. Since Jane was in town and would not be coming for the actual holiday. I politely declined.

[00:07:39] Said I would send the children's gift with my dad but there was no need to go and pretend that I was over Jane's behavior. My aunt then said, I'd be upset too if you refused to give me my share but gave little sis her share. That really shows a divide. I asked her to say that again because I think I hallucinated. I hallucinated. Jane really has been out there saying I split the house with my little sister when I did not. I explained to my aunt what actually happened and then my dad confirmed the information I gave. My aunt was shocked.

[00:08:09] Not only had Jane lied to her and the whole family, she also lied and said my dad never gave her anything. He gave me the house. My little sister is business and Jane a lump sum of money to start her bakery since she had no interest in running the family business. Jane is currently staying with aunt Renee but Renee is now upset and feels duped into this whole mess. Renee and my dad are both upset with Jane but still believe that I should forgive and forget and move forward.

[00:08:36] Renee is going to talk to Jane tomorrow before she leaves to go back to Idaho but I'm not sure it will do anything. Not a great or entertaining update but I guess I felt compelled to finish the story. At this point though I don't care if I am the arsehole. I was surprised by the amount of comments saying I was but I don't need any more stress from these people. I always find it funny when people say like you should forgive and forget and move forward.

[00:09:00] I mean two of those things can happen like forgiving and moving forward but the actual forgetting part I would find personally difficult. If someone treats me like shit I don't forget that very easily but what do you guys make of that situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:09:23] Now our next story comes from a throw away account and it says I 24 female just broke off my engagement with my fiancee 26 male because he told me he wasn't ready when proposing. We're going to therapy but I feel like I gave up already. Help. Kinda long story but I really need advice on this. Hi. So I 24 female and my fiancee 26 male have been together for 6 years. Living together for 2 and engaged for 1 year and 2 months.

[00:09:53] We've been a really cool couple. Same sense of humor. We have common interests. We enjoy the same things. We're basically one person at this point. I thought we had great communication. Turns out I was wrong. The one thing is I feel like his mother. He takes no initiative. He doesn't initiate physical contact. Not even mentioning sex here. But it's a bigger problem. No initiative makes me feel really unattractive. He won't ask me out for dates.

[00:10:21] Won't hug me or cuddle with me until I ask. So I do it all. I arrange dates. I try to get closer to communicate more. I decide what we do and where we go out etc. Basically he comes home from work. 8am to 4pm every day. Takes out his laptop and just does whatever. Probably just plays games. Then we fold laundry while watching a TV show and go to sleep. Pretty much just living like flatmates. Or like a very old married couple. I try to talk to him about it.

[00:10:51] But he always says he'll try to do better. And he would for 2-3 months. Then things would go back to what it was. But here's what broke me. On Monday I started the conversation again. And tried to get him to act and get us couples counseling. Well we started talking about how he never mentioned getting married since the proposal. I started looking for wedding venues. I drove us to one and suggested we book it. He said he'd rather see more before making a decision.

[00:11:18] I asked him to look for something and we can go and check it out. He admitted now that he didn't even google that since September. And he basically told me he proposed because he felt like I expected slash wanted it. Well he wasn't 100% ready. I took the ring off saying it feels like a lie because it meant something different to him than to me. And he took it and said. I promise you I'll give it to you when I'm ready. So he wasn't ready 14 months ago.

[00:11:47] During those months nothing changed. And he still isn't ready to be engaged. I've loved this man for 6 years. But now it turns out he proposed because he had to. Still had doubts and let me look for wedding stuff. Create Pinterest boards. Make guest lists. While knowing it was built on a lie. It feels like I proposed to myself. Well he just stood by and watched. We have couples therapy today. Just like he booked it on Monday. But now I have no idea what to do.

[00:12:14] I agreed because I wanted us to work out the initiative thing. But that was before I found out he didn't really want to be engaged. I'm going there today and I feel like I'm lying to him. Because I don't think I can continue this relationship after what he did. He's trying hard to take the initiative again and be closer to me. But it feels like it's too late. How can I handle this? I'm giving him hope with his therapy while considering to break things off. Because the engagement thing. Can I forgive this and move on?

[00:12:44] It must suck to go through this after six years of being together. But with everything else that you said in this story about him not initiating affection, no planning dates, no engaging in any sort of basic intimacy unless you actively push for it. Then of course proposing because he felt pressured and watching you do all this stuff like the wedding planning. You know relationships shouldn't be like that.

[00:13:11] You shouldn't have to try to drag them into wanting to be with you. And now he's only just trying to show initiative once again because you've reached your breaking point again. And all this just doesn't sound like it's going to change anytime soon. But definitely not a Dave says, Don't help. Trust your gut. If after six years together he's not ready to make you his partner for life, he may never be. And you'll be waiting around for nothing. He already told you how he felt.

[00:13:40] And at that point he lacks the balls to have an honest discussion with you about timelines. Sugar Weasel replies to that saying at this point it seems like he's honestly just still with her out of a sense of complacency rather than love for her or desire to maintain or further the relationship. He probably only proposed to her because he felt like she would leave him if he didn't. We all deserve partners who want to be with us, not partners who just don't want to do the work of finding somebody new. Alphabet says, I would feel very betrayed by his lies.

[00:14:09] I truly don't know if I'd be able to move forward or want to. You should go into the therapy session on Monday to discuss these revelations and maybe more will be admitted by him that'll help you make your decision moving forward clearer. I'm sorry you're going through this. But the commenter says, You're so young. Don't sign up for a lifetime of being his mum or just a piece of furniture in his apartment. Break up and find a man who is a hell yes about you. A man who is excited to see you. Excited to plan time with you.

[00:14:38] A man who is, well, a man. Because this guy is not it. Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. Sheshkoko says, Don't waste your youth on a man that is settling for you. You're a placeholder for him. I guarantee that if you stay, he will eventually find someone else, leave you and marry her within a year. You are not the one he sees a future with, but he won't break up because he doesn't want to be alone. He's doing the bare minimum to keep you until he finds who he really wants.

[00:15:07] You deserve to be the be all and end all in someone's life. Don't let this man use you and waste your time. And one more comment which says, You're on different levels in this relationship and that's not right. You need someone who's committed and he definitely isn't. Usually I would advise counselling, but the fact that he said he would give it back when he felt ready, means he's not in a relationship right now. Do you really want to wait for him to be ready? Is he worth the wait? Because based on what you described,

[00:15:35] you seem to be doing all the heavy lifting in your duo and he just goes with the flow. If even that. I wouldn't push someone into a relationship he doesn't want, but I also wouldn't wait for them to change their minds. All in all, do what's best for you. In matters of love, we get to be selfish. I honestly think he'd be relieved to break up with you. So then OP came in with her update. I figured I'd post an update to this. I read many comments and they really helped me.

[00:16:03] Thank you for sharing your experiences that opened my eyes. So yeah, TLDR, he wasn't ready when proposing. He wouldn't admit it, but I'm pretty sure it was a shut up ring. Which is sad because I never really cared about marriage in the first place. Now we went to therapy. I said the same things as I've written in the previous post. He struggled to answer any questions. Didn't really say anything that he hadn't before. Therapist suggested we could try living separately.

[00:16:31] But I think she could tell we're going to break up soon. Lol. It took a few days to think, but finally broke up with him about a week after writing the first post. And it kind of broke me to see his reaction. At first, he was really dramatic. Constantly tried to make himself the victim. Something about us being a ship that's sinking and I'm about to jump and give up, but he's still holding on tightly. Accuse me of not giving him the chance now that he actually wants to do something and change.

[00:17:00] Had to remind him a few times that he's the one who broke my heart first. He lied for months and took the ring back. Then more dramatics, crying, etc. But the next day, everything was normal. He was behaving like nothing happened. No more fighting for this relationship or even being hurt. He said we're going to be good friends and acted like nothing's happened. Over the next few days, I would occasionally get comments like, If anyone asks what happened, I can't say we broke up.

[00:17:29] I have to say you broke my heart and left me. Or at least you stopped pretending you love me. Other than that, no crying, no arguments. He was acting as per usual. It just broke my heart again to see how he didn't even try. That he really didn't care much. Shouldn't be surprised really, yet here we are. I asked him three times to move out. Gave him a deadline of two weeks. So three weeks since he took the ring back. He acted hurt and said,

[00:17:57] Wow, I didn't expect you'd want to get rid of me so soon. But didn't really start looking. You know what actually made him get a flat and leave? My parents telling him to fuck off. Because he lived here in their home this whole time. Without paying any bills. They took him in like a son. They told him to pack his shit and never come back. Since then, he's been acting offended. They treated him like that. And he had to leave. He moved out yesterday. I helped him with moving. I'm on my own now.

[00:18:26] After six and a half years with that one man. New year knew me, I guess. But yeah. Thanks everyone who commented and read my story. Not gonna lie. I would love some encouragement. If he was like a part of me has been ripped from me. I need to know this feeling will go away. T.S. he found the first post and read the comments. He wanted to post his own comment to show his side of things. Thankfully, gave up. Lol. That kind of really says it all about him at the end there, doesn't it really?

[00:18:54] But there was a comment from Rana below this. And quoted OP saying after six and a half years with that one man. And then says your relationship began when you were kids. And have now grown up wanting different things. Breaking up is tough. But you were quite young. OP, there is a whole world out there waiting for you. Live your life. Find a job you like. Travel. And don't settle for someone who will not fight for you. And I think Rana said it absolutely best there.

[00:19:23] I mean, of course, spending six and a half years with someone. Breaking up. Splitting up from them. It's gonna take some time to process. It's gonna hurt. But I've seen it time and time again in these stories. After a while, once that fog starts to lift, you're gonna see clearly. And things, I just believe, they're gonna be so much better for you. And I hope one day when that does happen, when things do start to look up, that you will give us that update so we can see how you're progressing. Because that'd be wonderful to see.

[00:19:53] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care. Have much love.