I Complained About My 40F Neighbor Blocking My Door - She Got Her MOM To Confront Me r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Carplast who says, am I the asshole for trying to get my neighbors to not block my front door?

[00:00:27] I, 32 female, live in New York City. I recently moved into a small building, three stories, six apartments in total. My apartment is a ground floor unit. From move in, a neighbor, 40 female and 40 male, has been storing a large stroller in front of my front door, which poses problems every time I have to come and go from my apartment. It is also against fire code and explicitly forbidden in the building leases.

[00:00:55] The stroller is there every day, unless their kid, three male, decides he doesn't want to walk. One day when I heard them leaving it there, I introduced myself and politely said, then leaving their stroller there was causing me issues and it's against the city's fire code and asked them to no longer keep their stroller in front of my front door. But the 40 male neighbor straight up raised his voice at me while I was holding my infant daughter.

[00:01:26] As time went on, the stroller was never folded up and continued to block my door. As it's against fire code and explicitly forbidden in the lease, I decided to reach out to the property management for help resolving this issue. I just want to be able to safely come and go from my apartment. The day the property management enforced this on these neighbors, the 40 female neighbor rang my doorbell and proceeded to refuse to speak to me and called her mother.

[00:01:52] Her mother then berated me on speakerphone and said I should have spoken to them first, ignoring me when I said I did. She then kind of threatened me saying, I complained about the wrong people. I was stunned and couldn't believe this was happening. All I could muster was insisting it is against fire code and no one gets to break fire code. I'm baffled by this behavior. I found it a bizarre confrontation and didn't know adults could act this way.

[00:02:20] I've never had issues with neighbors before. I had a child younger than theirs and empathized with their situation. But their kid is massive and able to walk. They could just have an umbrella stroller like I do. I just wanted to access my front door. Am I the arsehole? Now this is not the arsehole to me. It sounds like you tried to be reasonable all the way through this. You spoke to them directly. You explained the issue. They said that they'd fold it down, which, you know, you seemed like you were sort of on board with.

[00:02:49] But they continued to not follow through with that. And it's not just about the convenience as well. It's like you pointed out again. It's a safety issue. If there was an emergency and that stroller is blocking your door, it could be dangerous. It was strange ass behavior though that she called her mom to then complain about you. That was weird in itself, right? But OP edited their post and says I appreciate the outside perspective. I didn't think I was the arsehole, but I do have hardcore people-pleasing tendencies. And it was very clear my actions hurt people's feelings.

[00:03:19] And it gave me self-doubt. The reason I engaged with the mother on the phone at all is bizarre too. It's all too weird and I'm reeling a little. Lol. The 40 female neighbor has an unusual way of speaking. I haven't been able to work it out if it's an accent or what. When she put her mother on the speakerphone, I had a sinking thought that maybe the 40 female neighbor is deaf and needs someone to talk for her. And I felt bad that maybe I'd made a deaf person feel victimized when they can't speak up for themselves.

[00:03:47] But she clearly wasn't deaf as her mother was on the speakerphone with no video and she had zero issues following the conversation. Apart from this incident and the other shitty neighbor stuff, this woman and her man have pulled. They seem like normal functioning adults. The man does not have an unusual way of speaking. I don't think her unusual way of speaking is really a factor in whether I'm the arsehole. And I've been so eager to be polite and respectful.

[00:04:14] It became clear pretty quickly the phone call wasn't really about helping in communication, but just messy people expressing their anger as much as possible. But yeah, that's why I let the phone call happen. Messy. The commenter says, not the arsehole. Why didn't you just close the door on these arseholes? Just report them again for harassment to property management. Start videoing any interaction with them. Opie says 100%. I was kicking myself for not recording it. It wasn't a long interaction, but it went on too long.

[00:04:44] I kept hoping I could make it rational. I'd recommend to anyone recording interactions if you think it might get pear-shaped. Another commenter says, lol, I'm sorry, honey. I'm not laughing at you or an obviously frustrating situation. But the neighbor came to your door to have a mother confront you by phone. Sometimes people are just so unbelievably ridiculous. It just makes you laugh. Not the arsehole. Opie says it's a funny situation. I'm still in disbelief that it happened. The commenter says, not the arsehole.

[00:05:14] The getting mum on the phone tells you all you need to know about the maturity of a 40-year-old person. Another commenter says, you're much nicer than I would have been. When they didn't comply with a polite request, I would have chucked the stroller outside. Another commenter says, not the arsehole. But I would consider telling the property manager you've been threatened. Of course, that could escalate and make things worse. But you're being bullied. I'll try to get out of the lease and move.

[00:05:40] So, around a month later, Opie comes in with the update and says, so it's been almost a month. And I'm pleased to say the stroller has not been in front of my door since the events in my original post. Luckily, I've not run into them in the hallways or experienced real fallout. I heard the man a couple of times tell his kid, that's where the snitches live. And I think the mother from the phone call was in the building once and I heard her call me a bitch outside my door. The woman neighbor also stuck her middle finger up at my front door a few times.

[00:06:10] That petty behavior stopped pretty quickly and they seem to have gotten over themselves. I'm not bothered by their silly little insults. The neighbors also started using an umbrella stroller pretty soon after my original post. I'm glad they have finally taken the responsibility for their own belongings and used a little bit of troubleshooting to work their problems out. I didn't end up putting a video doorbell as commenters suggested on the original post. I don't think I had to as it turns out.

[00:06:37] They just needed to get over themselves, get a handle on their emotions. I'm actively avoiding them though, but that has been easy so far. So yeah, a bit of a boring update, but that is the best outcome. I'm just enjoying having space to come and go from my apartment. Someone asks OP for some info. They said I'm having trouble reconciling these two statements. One, the woman neighbor also stuck her middle finger up at my front door a few times. And two, I didn't end up putting a video doorbell.

[00:07:04] Without video, how would you know someone is flipping off your door? OP says, yep, I didn't have the camera, so I watched through the peephole. Bit of a creeper move, but I was feeling the paranoia. OP gives an explanation of how a door is set up. Did she have to push the stroller out of the way to get to the door? OP says, yes, I couldn't stand in front of where my lock is and unlock my door without moving it. I have my own stroller and I couldn't get in or out of my door with a stroller without moving theirs.

[00:07:32] My door opens into my apartment, so the door could swing open and shut, but I couldn't come and go without their stroller being in the way. But the commenter says, I'm just going to say from experience with jerk neighbors. Don't expect the peace to last. People like that tend to fall back into their old patterns. At least it's quite for now. Hopefully, it lasts for you. The commenter says, you are not a snitch, not the asshole. You talk to them first and ask them to move it. It's not snitching when it comes to safety.

[00:08:01] You have a small child and so do they. And it seems like you are the only adult in this situation. They were not respecting the boundaries set by your apartment, nor the one you redrew by asking them not to park there. They didn't even respect the promise they made. The other commenter says, I would still put up a video doorbell as soon as possible. Your neighbors are definitely assholes and you never know how long they'll hold a grudge. Now, I'm super glad that things have calmed down for OP at this moment in time.

[00:08:29] Personally, I would still strongly suggest getting a video doorbell. Just simply because, and this might be projection because of my past and people that I used to grow up with and neighbors around that particular area that I talk about every once in a while. Petty people like that rarely change. The fact that she's walking past your front door and sticking her fingers up at the front door, not knowing if you're on the other side or not. It just says it all to me, really.

[00:08:58] And this is someone who came to your door, a 40 year old who came to your door, held up the phone so her mom could have a go at you. But like I said, it might be projection. It's just because I know neighbors that still got grudges with each other to this day over the pettiest shit. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:09:26] And I spotted this title, looked a bit of a different one. So I thought, why not? This one's from the true off my chest subreddit from We're Just Roommates. It says, I started washing and putting away my roommate's favorite mug whenever she uses it. When she caught me, I lied about why. I, 30 male, share an apartment with my friend, 30 female. I call her Gwen. Gwen has a lot of mugs. More than will fit in the cup cupboard all at once.

[00:09:54] So she rotates them seasonally. She loves swapping them out. I asked why and she says, it's like getting new mugs every couple of months. But there are two mugs in her collection that never leaves the kitchen. They are rarely in the cupboard because the second they are washed, she uses them again. We have a dishwasher, but it's broken. Part of our chore division is that we each take care of our own dishes. The thing is, I know she doesn't like doing her dishes. It's a sensory thing.

[00:10:22] But she insisted that we do our own dishes. And I thought that was pretty fair. I also know that Gwen's most favorite is a Spider-Man mug. She's never told me that. I can just tell because the Spider-Man mug gets picked before any of the others when it's clean. I know this because I see it in the sink every day for her to wash before bed with her other dishes from the day. There were times that her dishes sat for a couple of days before she could force herself to work through the sensory issues and get them done.

[00:10:50] Never got to the point of smelling bad and she apologized every time for any dishes she left overnight. I truly did not mind when that happened. I understand the sensory issues and I'm proud of her for keeping on top of it as much as she was. Now comes the part I need to get off my chest. The background info was important, I promise. Every time Gwen realizes she can use a Spider-Man mug, she dances an adorable happy dance while making a tea for the morning.

[00:11:18] She doesn't seem to realize she's dancing or doesn't realize I noticed her dancing. Either way, it's my favorite part of the day when I'm getting ready for work and she dances a happy dance while she's getting breakfast because she gets to use a Spider-Man mug every single morning. It seriously cheers her up and she's been a lot more positive throughout the day since I started doing this. Gwen found me washing her dishes last week.

[00:11:42] I've been doing them for a while but this was the first time she walked in and caught me bubble-handed washing her Spider-Man mug. Bubble-handed. Not gonna lie, I panicked. She thanked me for helping her and then asked why I started to do her dishes too. She even asked if I was annoyed by her dishes when she left them. This was absolutely not the case but I couldn't tell her I watched her happy dances. That's creepy, right? But it's so cute and makes me so happy to see her so happy.

[00:12:12] If she knew I watched her dance, she would feel self-conscious and stop doing them. She's pretty shy about stuff like that. She won't sing in front of anyone but singing is one of her favorite things to do and I've caught her singing along to her music before she realizes I'm home. More than she realizes. I also pretend not to notice when that happens. She has a really pretty voice. So yeah, I couldn't tell her why I'm really doing her dishes or I'd lose my favorite part of my day. I told her I like to get mine done every night.

[00:12:41] It's something my mom always told me to do. I was already there so it wasn't a big deal to do hers too. It saves water and she does a few of the household chores that I hate because she likes them. So I don't mind doing this one tiny extra chore that she doesn't like. I feel like I was pretty obviously not telling the truth but I think she believed me. She didn't tell me to stop and she hasn't brought it up since she caught me. So I still get to see her do her happy dances when she goes in the kitchen and sees a Spider-Man mug ready for her to start the day.

[00:13:13] Erlebe diesen Sommer den König der Savanne. Spare bis zu 30% auf deine Sommertickets bei Disney's Der König der Löwen. Nur für kurze Zeit unter Musicals.de Edit 1 Alright, I'm heading to bed. Thank you all for your comments. To clarify, we are just friends. We are roommates now. But we were friends first. Anyway, it's been fun. But it's 5am and I have an appointment at 10am.

[00:13:43] This should be fun. Good night. Edit 2 It is now 9am. I just woke up to so many notifications. Jesus H Christ, what happened while I was napping? Thank you for everyone for your responses. I did not expect my habits that I thought would be seen as weird or creepy to get so much attention. I'm so glad so many of you got a smile from my post. As you can tell, I like to give people a reason to smile. Hope you all have an awesome day. Edit 3 Guys, she found the fucking post. Scatter.

[00:14:13] No, for real. She commented on the post. She made an account specifically to comment. How? How?

[00:14:48] How did this happen? At the kindness of your heart. Because you enjoy seeing someone else happy. It's just an absolute wonderful thing. And I don't find it creepy that you notice her happy dances. You notice stuff like that when you're living with people. And she's handling some chores you hate. And you're doing something for her at the same time. You know, it sounds like a healthy roommate relationship. But a commenter said to OP, this is honestly the sweetest thing ever. The way you go out of your way just to make her mornings a little brighter. It's top tier wholesome.

[00:15:18] Commenter says, you're both good roommates. I'm so proud of you both. It's not easy getting along with someone in your space. OP says, I've never been happy at home as I am with Gwen. She's so easy to live with. And any problems we have had, we have been able to talk over and resolve. It's almost too good to be true. But we do bicker a lot. I make fun of her wearing Crocs nearly 24-7. And she laughs every time she hears me swearing at my bed after I stub my toe on it. I do that at least twice a week. I'm an idiot.

[00:15:48] Lol. I've never been able to bring myself to put on a pair of Crocs. But I've heard that they are incredibly comfy. Another commenter says, well, after all the awful crap that I come across on Reddit every single day. A post like this is so refreshing. OP, this is adorable. Does Gwen know you're in love with her? Because she should. OP says, I mean we say I love you to each other when we leave the apartment. But we're just friends. OP explains why then says, I love you. And says, one of our friends passed away a few years ago.

[00:16:17] It almost ended our whole group. His house was the hangout spot. He liked to do the planning for things. He kept us together by being the person we all wanted to be around. Losing him was the hardest thing I've gone through. We were like brothers. So now we all make sure to tell each other how we feel. We ask for help when we need it. And we always, always say love you instead of goodbye. On how they met. OP says, we met through a mutual friend group. And when we realized we were both looking for a place to live. And we got on really well.

[00:16:46] It just made sense. So far, it's paying off. OP adds a little pic of the mugs. And then says, and wait for it. Update. Update. I can't actually post an update in the tree off my chest so soon after my first post. So here's a small update. We talked a little bit over breakfast. I'm officially a fan of tea now. She thinks I'm an idiot and I agree. But she's not mad about the post or about me creeping on her mug inspired happy dances. All said and done.

[00:17:15] I think that post was making the best 5am decision I've ever made. Gwen says, hi everyone. OP's thoughts on Gwen. OP says, I was watching her work in the living room today. And it just kind of made me realize why I feel different. But also completely the same. I still have the same feelings of friendship. But it's like going from a familiar room to another room that's bigger. But it has the same paintings as the first room. There's just more wall space of paintings now. I hope that makes sense.

[00:17:44] I said it to Gwen and she asked if I was high. LOL. OP then added a picture of their chat exchange. Which just said, Gwen said, you're a dork. I made you tea after your Zoom call. This was on Reddit by the way. OP replied to him, what mug is it? So I know how this is about to go down. Gwen added a snooze smile and said the pumpkin won. Commenter said, wait for real? Are you together now? Because boy, you've fallen hard.

[00:18:11] OP says the pumpkin mug is a second favorite. If that tells you anything and it should. I can neither confirm nor deny what conversations were had over tea and toast this morning. For real though, we're going to do an update. We want to have more time to discuss things and figure out where we land. And we will post an update once we feel more comfortable. The fallout from this post has been a lot to handle. On top of trying to figure out how to share without oversharing. We're usually pretty private people.

[00:18:38] I never imagined my silly post about doing the dishes would end up changing so much. But I wouldn't change a damn thing. Commenter says, congrats king. You're all meant for each other. None of your mugs better outdo her favorite mug. OP says, I'm more of a water bottle guy. The mugs in the house are all hers. So no risk of mug competition. Although I might order her a custom one for a special occasion someday. But never with the intention to make her change what her favorite is. So a couple of days after that one,

[00:19:07] OP has another update and says, good morning y'all. A couple of days ago, I made a post at three in the morning to confess to doing my roommate's dishes because I secretly love to watch her do a happy dance when she sees her favorite mug is clean for her to use again. That post changed our lives. And I'm only being a little dramatic by saying that. I gotta say thanks to everyone who upvoted and commented on my original post. I'm still shook at just how many people read about me and my mug happy best friend.

[00:19:34] The amount of people saying my post made them smile or reminded them of their own friendships or significant others has kept me smiling for days. I'm kind of into making people happy, if that wasn't already obvious. So the fact that so many people had even a moment of positivity because of me has been awesome. When I made that original post, it was because I just wanted to tell someone about the mug dancing, but I knew Gwen wouldn't like it if I told anyone we knew. So I came to Reddit to shout to the void and, oh boy, did the void shout back.

[00:20:04] There were so many comments asking if I really thought we were just friends. And I'll be honest, when I made that post, we absolutely were just friends. We'd never talked about being more than friends and I was happy being friends because we have an amazing friendship. I hadn't really thought about there being a possibility for more because dating was always something I planned to do when I had my life together or when I had more money. I never let myself consider what I was missing out on by waiting for the right time.

[00:20:33] Her finding my post opened the chance for Gwen and I to talk about things that we hadn't before. And over breakfast that morning, we found out where we stood with each other and what we thought things could look like moving forward, depending on what we both agreed was the best course. We didn't make any solid plans or decisions and didn't want to rush into something that would ruin the good we already had going for us. But I'll admit, I was hoping for a specific outcome. There was one comment on the first post that had really caught my attention.

[00:21:01] To paraphrase, they told me to think about how I'd feel if someone else got to see Gwen do a happy mug dance instead of me. And it hit me so hard. I didn't mind the idea of someone else seeing her so happy. I just don't know if anyone else she dates would notice what I did and decide to do what I did. What if they didn't care or didn't think it was that important or any of the other things I do to make her laugh or smile? I really didn't like the thought of not being there to make sure she has the extra reason to smile in the morning.

[00:21:30] Gwen wants me to admit that I'm a sappy moron because I teared up writing this. I'm a sensitive man in touch with my emotions and you know you love it so shut it you. To all the people saying it's possible for platonic relationships to be like ours, you're absolutely correct. Our friend group is very open with physical and verbal affection and we help each other all the time with big and small things. We all say I love you's to each other. It's just normal communication for us as a group, not just between Gwen and I.

[00:21:59] Honestly, if I hadn't made my original post, I'm not sure when or if we'd gotten to the point we are now. Maybe we would have continued as we were and that would have been just as happy of an outcome. Just a different one. Like choose your own adventure with multiple options for a good resolution. Which brings me to the actual update. Gwen and I agreed we want to try dating. We aren't putting a new label on our relationship yet but our first date is next week. I'm making it all a surprise.

[00:22:28] Gwen helped me write this post and will be reading the comments so I can't give any details. But it's going to be the best first date she's ever been on. Or I eat my candy corn pattern socks. I think she might be the one for me and I'm going to take every chance I can to make sure she thinks the same about me. Do something kind for your loved ones for us and everyone can and should find something to happy dance about. It makes life more fun. Love, Gwen and Peter. So a commenter says to OP after this one.

[00:22:58] Yippee it finally happened. I'm so happy for you two. And kind of jealous too. I have a friend that makes me really happy but the chances of us dating is close to zero. So I hope everything goes well for you two and please promise me that and especially her that if it doesn't work you remain being friends because your relationship is really pure. Thank you for the update. OP says yeah we're definitely being very cautious about taking this step. There will be lots of conversations and checking in to make sure we don't mess things up.

[00:23:27] Commenter says the only thing I can say to both you is this. You have a charming innocence around you. Don't take it for granted. Be aware of it. Treasure it and nurture it. This doesn't have to end and it can get better. Always assume the best of each other. Be kind and don't be passive aggressive or hold grudges. OP says we both come from pretty dysfunctional families. Half of us don't even talk to each other and haven't seen my mother in years. Thank the lord for small mercies lol.

[00:23:56] So when we agreed to be roommates respectful communication became our top priority. Commenter says this isn't quite on topic but OP how did you find such an empathetic and close group of friends? I've always wanted that and have a hard time connecting with people. It sounds really wholesome. OP responded saying so the people who started our group were three buddies. They were friends all through middle and high school and stuck together after. Everyone else had been added to the group after being vetted.

[00:24:24] We invite people to hang out a few times with the group. If we feel there'd be a good fit we keep inviting them. It's like a big club but doing it this way makes sure only people who mesh well enough with everyone are added. Gwen was pretty much part of the group when I was invited to a movie night. That was the first time we met. I can't tell you how to meet people that you'll connect with. I'm sorry. The person who invited me was someone I work with. We went for drinks after a couple times before she asked me if I wanted to go to a movie night

[00:24:53] her friends were planning and I didn't have anything better to do. You just need to be willing to talk to strangers until they aren't strangers anymore and see if they are someone you think would be a positive influence in your life. OP also adds, The best advice I can give you is to want change. If you aren't happy for the love of all that's holy, change. Sit down with your partner and say that you aren't happy and that things need to change.

[00:25:17] Figure out if you want change together and be a team against the issues or if things will be better off with you going your separate ways. Ending a relationship does not erase all the good times you've had with them, but it opens the doors for the potential of new good times with someone else. It will only get harder the longer you wait. You deserve peace and happiness, even if it means it's not with this person. They also deserve peace and happiness. I wonder if you approach it from that angle of saying that you're unhappy and you feel like they're unhappy too

[00:25:46] and you want to team up to figure this out. The more you build it up in your head to the point where you feel it's not worth trying. You are worth it. They are worth it. And the majority of the comments after this one and it's always with a wholesome post like this is like now's the time to turn off Reddit or maybe YouTube in this case. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:26:14] Now just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.