I Cancelled The Wedding After Fiancee Cheated With The "She Hates" r/Relationships

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[00:01:21] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider?

[00:01:31] And a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:01:38] Now, today's first story comes from RadiantRub1212 from the Am I the Asshole here subreddit. And says,

[00:01:46] Am I the Asshole here for cancelling my wedding after my fiancé cheated on me with a guy she told me she hates?

[00:01:55] I, 24 male, recently proposed to my now ex-fiancé, 23 female, after two years of dating. We met by mutual friends at work. We started talking as friends. We went on dates and on New Year's Eve we officially started dating. During the beginning of our relationship she mentions this guy, Marvin.

[00:02:15] According to her, Marvin has always had a crush on her. During the first months of our relationship, he texts us several times asking her to leave me and give him a chance.

[00:02:25] We used to say how pathetic this guy was and how she despises him for suggesting she would leave me for him. I must clarify, I'm nothing special. I'm 5'4", an Asian nerdy guy. Time goes by and after two years on dating, I decided to propose to her.

[00:02:43] So, on New Year's Eve I gave her the ring and she says yes in front of her whole family.

[00:02:48] I have some money saved. She doesn't work, so I started looking for venues, catering, invitations, decor and everything. I spend a high amount of money as a parent and not in the position to help with the expenses. I have enough savings to go through this comfortably.

[00:03:03] One day, while we were running errands, we started talking about having a threesome. We're in our twenties, so there's lots of things we want to try. We discussed for a while on how we could find someone and she quickly says,

[00:03:16] Yes, I have someone in mind. I asked who and she replies with, Marvin. I know that was the first red flag, but I let it pass.

[00:03:25] I asked why him and she just answered she was sexually attracted to him. I asked about why would she say she hates him first and choose him as a first option for a threesome.

[00:03:36] And she replies, it's only a one-time thing. So, I told her it was okay, but we needed to talk later to set rules, limits and I would like to talk to him personally before giving the green light.

[00:03:48] During the next couple of days, she's acting really excited and she comes to show me hotels and when we're going to meet with him and how exciting everything is.

[00:03:57] I told her we need to talk things first as it's not as easy as it sounds and we need to have some limits.

[00:04:03] After that, she calmed down for a day or two and starts to bring the subject up again.

[00:04:08] We reached a point where she insisted so much and brings the subject up so many times I ended up saying to her that she either calmed down or no threesome is going to happen.

[00:04:18] She apologized and mentioned I was right, but something didn't feel right.

[00:04:23] That afternoon, we're having a nap and while she was sleeping, I went through her phone and I found how she was cheating on me with him for a couple of months now.

[00:04:31] They'd been meeting while I was working and she even sends them one of those BDSM tests you can find online to see if his kinks matched with hers.

[00:04:40] To say I was furious is an understatement.

[00:04:43] She woke up while I was checking the phone and I confronted her.

[00:04:46] She started crying saying she was sorry and how she didn't know what she was doing.

[00:04:51] I packed my things and stormed out to stay at the hotel.

[00:04:54] That night, I got a call from her parents saying how I was ruining the engagement and acting as a baby while I was the one who brought the topic of the threesome and how her daughter wasn't at fault.

[00:05:04] I hung up without saying anything and started cancelling everything I had for the wedding.

[00:05:09] She called me the next day apologizing and asking me to come back.

[00:05:13] The whole family is sending texts asking me to man up as I was the one at fault and not breaking the engagement.

[00:05:20] Am I the arsehole here for cancelling everything?

[00:05:23] Is it just me on this or is it really weird that the family seems to know about this threesome arrangement?

[00:05:30] How did that conversation happen?

[00:05:33] She goes up to her family and said, oh, he's just broken up with me.

[00:05:36] They say, why?

[00:05:38] Oh, because we had a threesome arrangement and he didn't like it.

[00:05:42] But clearly she's bullshitted her way through some of that conversation because she's been with this guy one on one.

[00:05:49] That's not a threesome.

[00:05:51] And of course, not the arsehole.

[00:05:54] Wanderer says not the arsehole.

[00:05:55] Just tell her family it's their fault.

[00:05:57] They never taught her how to count.

[00:05:59] How else did she get having a threesome wrong?

[00:06:02] K8 Irony says not the arsehole.

[00:06:04] She probably told her family you brought up a threesome and then got mad at her for picking someone to be the third.

[00:06:10] She probably didn't mention she'd been cheating on you.

[00:06:13] Send them one text.

[00:06:14] She's been cheating on me for months.

[00:06:16] My decision is final.

[00:06:17] Stop texting me, then block them.

[00:06:20] And one more comment from 374852 who says she's a serial liar.

[00:06:25] She's a cheater.

[00:06:26] She's a manipulator.

[00:06:27] She's probably a gold digger along with her parents.

[00:06:30] You're so very lucky, my friend, that you found out who she really is before the wedding instead of after.

[00:06:37] And you acted perfectly.

[00:06:39] Bravo.

[00:06:40] That is not easy to do in the matter of hearts when you're in the heat of the moment and there's a lot at stake.

[00:06:45] You immediately left for a hotel, cancelled the wedding, hung up on her biased and misled parents without saying anything.

[00:06:52] Perfect.

[00:06:53] I really acknowledge you.

[00:06:54] Next steps.

[00:06:55] One, no contact, block her, her friends and her family's phone numbers, emails, social media, everything.

[00:07:02] No closure needed or deserved in this situation.

[00:07:05] Two, take amazing care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.

[00:07:09] Get connected closer with friends and family.

[00:07:12] Exercise.

[00:07:12] Do things you love.

[00:07:14] If you feel the need to talk things out, find a therapist.

[00:07:17] Get massages.

[00:07:19] Meditate.

[00:07:19] Pamper yourself.

[00:07:20] Build your self-esteem.

[00:07:22] And enjoy being free.

[00:07:24] Three, not for everyone, but sometimes talking to new girls and especially sleeping with someone else will help you move on faster.

[00:07:31] So OP came in with her first update and said, hey guys, thanks for everyone's advice.

[00:07:35] I appreciate the support and the mean comments.

[00:07:38] Both perspectives were helpful.

[00:07:40] Now, let me address just a few things before I continue.

[00:07:44] One, yes, the post has grammatical errors.

[00:07:46] English is not my first language.

[00:07:49] Two, my ex stopped working to go to college.

[00:07:51] We met at work, but she quit once we moved in together.

[00:07:54] Three, yes, my now ex-fiance told her parents we're breaking up because I suggested the threesome and got mad when she mentioned Marvin.

[00:08:02] Then her parents believed her.

[00:08:04] Four, yes, I needed reassurance to make sure I wasn't the one in the fault.

[00:08:08] I've been conditioned all my life to be a doormat, so it was hard to stand up for myself.

[00:08:12] Here's the update.

[00:08:14] After seeing all your messages, I reached out to my father-in-law, so we agreed to meet at a nearby mall to talk about the reasons why I broke the engagement.

[00:08:21] I did have a good relationship with him as we both share the same interests and hobbies, so I figured we could have a conversation.

[00:08:28] We met, and even though he looked mad, he agreed to listen.

[00:08:32] I did take screenshots of the conversation my ex had with Marvin, and I showed them to him.

[00:08:37] After looking at everything, he told me my ex gave them a totally different story.

[00:08:41] According to what he told me, my ex went to them crying, saying I was breaking the engagement because I wanted to have a threesome, and once she picked Marvin as the third, I snapped at her.

[00:08:51] He also mentioned Marvin had been going to check on my ex since my ex has been staying with them after we broke up.

[00:08:57] We went to my apartment and packed all of her belongings to move her out.

[00:09:01] The ring was at the apartment as well, so I kept it.

[00:09:04] We're on our way to drop everything to her right now.

[00:09:06] I will keep you guys updated.

[00:09:09] Blue-Green1956 is on this one.

[00:09:11] As Shakespeare said, all's well that ends well.

[00:09:15] At least her family knows the truth now.

[00:09:17] The commenter says cheating and lying go hand in hand.

[00:09:20] I'm not surprised she lied to her parents.

[00:09:22] Good on you for having proof.

[00:09:24] The OP comes in with another update and says,

[00:09:27] Hey guys, I'm back.

[00:09:28] I know you've been waiting for this update.

[00:09:30] I had to create a new account because I got shadow banned on the other one.

[00:09:33] I apologize for the delay.

[00:09:35] So after picking my ex's belongings, me and my father-in-law drove to his house.

[00:09:40] The ride there was awkward to say the least.

[00:09:43] When we get there, we walked in and we saw mother-in-law, my ex and guess who else?

[00:09:48] Exactly.

[00:09:49] Fucking Marvin.

[00:09:51] They were all in the living room.

[00:09:52] My ex looked like she'd been crying for a while.

[00:09:54] Marvin was hugging her and mother-in-law was seated next to her with a box of tissues.

[00:09:58] My mother-in-law saw me enter and started asking father-in-law what I was doing there.

[00:10:03] He responded, we all need to talk about the situation.

[00:10:07] And he came to clarify some things.

[00:10:09] We all sat down and Marvin was about to leave the room when father-in-law said,

[00:10:13] No, please stay.

[00:10:14] You're part of this too.

[00:10:15] Marvin sat down, but you could see he was not holding well.

[00:10:19] His right leg was bouncing and he tried his best not to make eye contact with me or my ex.

[00:10:24] My ex. Father-in-law started saying that I accepted to continue with the engagement,

[00:10:28] which made mother-in-law and my ex smile.

[00:10:30] However, I had one condition.

[00:10:32] Marvin must show him his WhatsApp conversation with my ex to him.

[00:10:36] At that moment, I was shocked.

[00:10:39] I was about to argue, however, I understood something.

[00:10:41] Most likely my ex had deleted the convo with Marvin, but there was a chance Marvin didn't.

[00:10:47] Marvin tried to protest, but my father-in-law insisted and asked him to do this for her daughter.

[00:10:52] My ex and Marvin glanced at each other and mother-in-law was quiet looking at father-in-law.

[00:10:57] Finally, after that, Marvin stood up and left without saying anything else.

[00:11:01] Mike started crying again and my father-in-law told her to shut up.

[00:11:05] He said I had shown him screenshots of their conversations and he was disappointed to raise a cheating slut.

[00:11:11] Mother-in-law was in disbelief, so I showed her the screenshots too.

[00:11:15] They both screamed at her how she could do something like that on top of lying to their faces.

[00:11:19] In the end, my father-in-law went to unload her belongings in the driveway and told her to look for some other place to stay as she wasn't welcome there anymore.

[00:11:28] Father-in-law apologized to me and told me he'd like to keep in touch to make sure I was okay.

[00:11:33] I came back home after all of that happened feeling empty, not gonna lie.

[00:11:37] I think it was the adrenaline wearing off.

[00:11:40] I got one call off my ex, but I didn't answer.

[00:11:43] I blocked the number and spoke with security at my building to trespass her as she comes by.

[00:11:48] I posted on Facebook and Instagram about what happened and made sure to post the screenshots of the conversation to make sure she cannot twist the situation with friends and family.

[00:11:57] I will get most of my money after cancelling the venue, catering and other stuff, so I'm planning to move to another state.

[00:12:04] I got some STD test done and I'm clean and I'll be selling the ring to get my money back.

[00:12:08] So far, that's the update.

[00:12:10] I don't think I'll update any more on this, but I want to thank everyone.

[00:12:14] Good and bad comments.

[00:12:16] Hopefully, everything goes better now.

[00:12:18] Couple of comments after that one.

[00:12:20] Pretty says, not the arsehole.

[00:12:22] You've made the right decision to cancel your wedding after your ex's betrayal.

[00:12:26] The way your father-in-law handled the situation is commendable.

[00:12:29] Holding your ex accountable for her actions.

[00:12:32] It's good to hear you're getting tested and focusing on your well-being.

[00:12:35] Moving on and starting a new chapter is the best thing you can do for yourself.

[00:12:40] Marathon Rabbit says, dang.

[00:12:42] Damn Marvin.

[00:12:44] Leaves me please says, yeah.

[00:12:45] Seems like Marvin didn't know how deep he got himself into.

[00:12:48] It's wild how people can act in such messy situations.

[00:12:51] At least now you've got clarity on all that chaos.

[00:12:55] Good luck with everything moving forward.

[00:12:56] And there was no real alternative end to this in the end.

[00:13:01] But I'm glad that OP is moving on.

[00:13:04] And it sounds like OP is doing all the right stuff to get themselves back on track.

[00:13:09] You know, moving to another place.

[00:13:10] A fresh start.

[00:13:11] And just moving on from these people.

[00:13:13] I couldn't see any other way for this one to end.

[00:13:16] Certainly not getting back together with this person.

[00:13:19] So well done for you OP.

[00:13:21] And I hope things move forward in the best way possible for you.

[00:13:25] You truly deserve it.

[00:13:26] But now let's move on to another story.

[00:13:30] Our next story comes from ForgottenChild9 from the Am I the Arsehole here subreddit.

[00:13:34] And says Am I the Arsehole here for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding.

[00:13:40] I know this seems like a weird situation.

[00:13:42] But I just feel so angry and depressed that I feel the need to vent.

[00:13:46] Even if no one is listening.

[00:13:49] So I, 17 female, was recently forgotten about on the day of my parents' wedding.

[00:13:53] My parents have been together for about 25 years.

[00:13:56] But they never actually got married.

[00:13:58] That's why my dad, 50 male, proposed to my mother, 49 female, on their anniversary.

[00:14:05] Which they have always celebrated on the date my mother found out she was pregnant with my eldest sister.

[00:14:10] Even though they were already together before.

[00:14:13] Everyone, including me, was elated and celebrated the occasion with great joy.

[00:14:18] This happened all the way back in February.

[00:14:21] They immediately jumped into wedding planning deciding very early on on a small event in Hawaii.

[00:14:26] Which is closest family and friends for an intimate ceremony.

[00:14:29] Almost immediately my mother asked my sister, 25 female, to be a maid of honor.

[00:14:34] And my dad asked my brother, 22 male, to be his groomsman.

[00:14:38] I wasn't surprised or offended by this.

[00:14:41] My sister had always been a mummy's girl.

[00:14:43] And they both enjoyed spending time with each other shopping and socializing.

[00:14:46] So they had a very close bond.

[00:14:48] And the same goes for my father and brother.

[00:14:50] They always played football together and messed around with cars.

[00:14:53] My father even trained my brother's team for a while in middle school.

[00:14:57] That always left me as the odd one out.

[00:15:00] I tried to insert myself on family's hobbies and groups that they had within our home.

[00:15:04] But was always rebuffed.

[00:15:05] Maybe they could sense that my interest on their activities wasn't all that genuine.

[00:15:09] Or maybe they just didn't care.

[00:15:11] Either way, I was used to being the last and least important member of my family.

[00:15:16] Mom had sis and dad had bro.

[00:15:19] My parents had each other.

[00:15:20] Where my two siblings were closer to each other than they ever were to me.

[00:15:23] Leaving me very lonely and isolated in my own home.

[00:15:27] During the preparation for the wedding initially, it was suggested that I be the flower girl.

[00:15:32] But my sister thought that role would be more appropriate for her daughter.

[00:15:35] Three female.

[00:15:36] So that idea was quickly tossed away.

[00:15:39] Later on, my maternal grandmother suggested that I might read a poem.

[00:15:42] Or do a little bit of a speech during the ceremony.

[00:15:45] But both my parents refused.

[00:15:46] Because they wanted the wedding to be low key.

[00:15:49] And they didn't think a cheesy and sappy speech would fit their vision.

[00:15:53] Their literal words.

[00:15:55] I was still okay with all of this.

[00:15:57] Even though it hurt to know that I would be the only member of the family to not actually be a part of the wedding party.

[00:16:02] Or have any role at all on the day.

[00:16:05] As the day approached, my parents and siblings got more and more caught up on all the wedding planning.

[00:16:10] I noticed my mom didn't invite me dress shopping.

[00:16:12] And that whenever they would have discussions about the venue or the event, I was left out.

[00:16:17] So I decided to see if they would realize that I wasn't being involved at all and kept quiet.

[00:16:22] Waiting for them to ask me something.

[00:16:24] Anything about the wedding.

[00:16:26] But that never happened.

[00:16:28] The wedding was set for three weeks ago.

[00:16:30] The end of August.

[00:16:31] The day before the departure, my mother casually asked if I had my luggage ready because we couldn't be late to the airport.

[00:16:37] I bluntly told her that I hadn't prepared anything.

[00:16:41] She got confused for a second and then snapped at me for not being prepared.

[00:16:45] I then asked her if I even had a ticket and her face went pale.

[00:16:49] Yep.

[00:16:50] They hadn't even bought me a ticket.

[00:16:52] And I'm not even sure if I had a room or any accommodations once there.

[00:16:56] Even though I was the only person in the family without a stable income.

[00:16:59] I work as a part-time babysitter.

[00:17:02] My parents had bought first-class tickets for my siblings and a couple of other friends that were attending the wedding.

[00:17:06] But had forgotten me.

[00:17:09] My mum told me to not make a big deal out of it.

[00:17:11] And they can just find me a low-cost ticket last minute from a cheap airline.

[00:17:15] But I just replied by asking her.

[00:17:18] Then what?

[00:17:18] Do I even have a dress for the ceremony?

[00:17:21] She went with sister by hers and all the other female guests months ago.

[00:17:24] But I wasn't included.

[00:17:26] That's when my father came in.

[00:17:28] And just told me to suck it up.

[00:17:29] And that I've never been a girly girl so I could just wear whatever.

[00:17:33] I got mad at this because.

[00:17:34] Even though I'm not the most feminine girl in the planet.

[00:17:38] I would have loved to be included in such an important part of my parents' wedding.

[00:17:42] And it was about the fact that I was excluded for literally everything that had been going on for months.

[00:17:47] We all got into a fight with them calling me entitled.

[00:17:50] And accusing me of making myself small intentionally so they would forget me.

[00:17:54] Like that is a valid excuse for ignoring a child.

[00:17:57] They ended up telling me that if I was going to keep this attitude I might as well skip the whole thing altogether.

[00:18:03] To which I responded with a defiant, fine.

[00:18:05] And went to my room.

[00:18:07] Next morning they all left for Hawaii without me.

[00:18:10] The ceremony was really small.

[00:18:12] But they all posted loads of pictures on Insta and Facebook about how perfect and magical that whole week was being.

[00:18:18] People realized quickly that I wasn't in any of the photos.

[00:18:21] And asked my parents why.

[00:18:23] To which they replied that unfortunately I had caught COVID before the trip.

[00:18:27] And had to stay behind.

[00:18:28] My blood boiled at this.

[00:18:31] I don't know why this was the straw that broke the camel's bag for me.

[00:18:34] But it was.

[00:18:35] I decided to take a COVID test and publish a picture of myself holding the negative test.

[00:18:40] And captioned it.

[00:18:41] Not sick at all.

[00:18:42] Just forgotten.

[00:18:44] I tagged everyone that had questioned my absence from the trip.

[00:18:47] And the wedding in the picture.

[00:18:48] And for good measure.

[00:18:49] Also every person invited to it.

[00:18:51] I also wrote in the comments about how my parents had literally forgotten about anything to do with me.

[00:18:56] Until the day before parting.

[00:18:58] And how they actually uninvited me.

[00:19:00] Most people were on my side.

[00:19:02] And others couldn't believe it.

[00:19:03] And thought there must be something more to the story.

[00:19:06] Than what I was saying.

[00:19:07] But one thing is for certain.

[00:19:08] I completely ruined my parents wedding.

[00:19:11] And the day was overshadowed by my confession.

[00:19:14] At first I felt quite satisfied with myself.

[00:19:16] For standing up on my own.

[00:19:18] But.

[00:19:18] After a barrage of messages from my family.

[00:19:21] Calling me every name in the book.

[00:19:23] And later when they came back.

[00:19:24] Them furiously attacking me for my immature actions.

[00:19:27] And my spoiled behavior.

[00:19:28] My pride deflated quickly.

[00:19:30] And I began to feel awful.

[00:19:32] I hate my family.

[00:19:34] And I hate being in this house.

[00:19:35] But I'm a minor and can't leave just yet.

[00:19:37] I do feel like I could have handled the situation better though.

[00:19:41] And now I feel so depressed.

[00:19:42] And I'm second guessing everything I did.

[00:19:44] From not speaking up before to the way I exposed them.

[00:19:48] I also feel guilty for the lack of connection between all my family and me.

[00:19:51] And maybe I could have done more.

[00:19:53] So.

[00:19:54] Am I the arsehole here for ruining my parents wedding.

[00:19:57] When they forgot about me.

[00:19:58] Don't feel bad in this situation.

[00:20:00] They're the ones that's absolutely awful to their child.

[00:20:04] They know exactly what they're doing.

[00:20:06] And they just continue to blame you.

[00:20:07] Gaslight you.

[00:20:08] To make you feel like it's your fault for me.

[00:20:10] You acting small.

[00:20:12] And staying out of the way.

[00:20:13] No this is on them.

[00:20:14] They're the parents in this situation.

[00:20:16] You don't just forget about your child.

[00:20:18] You just don't.

[00:20:20] And they know how messed up it is.

[00:20:22] You corrected them on their lie.

[00:20:24] Telling people that you had COVID.

[00:20:25] That's why you couldn't attend.

[00:20:26] They know they messed up.

[00:20:28] Hell.

[00:20:29] Your grandmother knows what's going on.

[00:20:31] Suggesting that you might read a poem.

[00:20:33] She knows exactly what's going on.

[00:20:35] And I would potentially lean on that kind of support.

[00:20:38] And tell your grandmother how you're feeling.

[00:20:40] And exactly what's going on.

[00:20:42] Front rip says the OP.

[00:20:44] Not the arsehole.

[00:20:45] Your parents fucked up.

[00:20:46] They know it.

[00:20:47] Your siblings also fucked up.

[00:20:48] They also know it.

[00:20:49] And you weren't making them look bad with your social media posts.

[00:20:53] You were correcting a lie.

[00:20:54] I hope you're able to qualify for a full ride scholarship.

[00:20:58] Because something tells me you don't have much of a college fund.

[00:21:00] If any.

[00:21:02] Lulu says they spent the college fund on the first class plane tickets for everyone but OP.

[00:21:07] Disastrous B says.

[00:21:09] Bald of you to assume there was ever a college fund in the first place.

[00:21:12] Abrina says.

[00:21:13] Not the arsehole.

[00:21:14] Can you move in with grandma?

[00:21:16] The history of rebuffing you whenever you try to participate with them says this wasn't a one off.

[00:21:20] It's like they don't even consider you family.

[00:21:22] No judge is going to force you back to their house at 17.

[00:21:26] If you have a place to go get your things and your documents and go.

[00:21:30] Another commenter says.

[00:21:32] I have a similar family dynamic to OP.

[00:21:34] Although I'm the oldest.

[00:21:36] I wasn't arsed to go on family vacations.

[00:21:38] My birthday was always forgotten about.

[00:21:40] If my mom and younger siblings wanted to go out to eat for family dinner while I was at work.

[00:21:44] They would leave and not say a word to me.

[00:21:47] OP.

[00:21:48] Not the arsehole.

[00:21:49] Don't let them make you feel guilty.

[00:21:51] As soon as I could I moved out.

[00:21:53] Didn't say a word to anyone in my immediate family.

[00:21:56] Just packed the bag and was gone.

[00:21:58] I'm no contact with everyone but my little sister.

[00:22:01] And even she is on probation with regards to visits and hanging out.

[00:22:05] OP replies saying.

[00:22:06] I'm sorry for you and that we're on the same boat.

[00:22:09] I want to move out but I have no place to go now.

[00:22:11] I had a summer job besides babysitting and I've been saving up some money.

[00:22:15] But I live in a very expensive city.

[00:22:17] And I need another job before I can plan anything.

[00:22:20] The commenter replies to OP saying.

[00:22:22] Be strong.

[00:22:23] Don't let them get under your skin.

[00:22:25] Even if you have to get roommates or move in with a friend.

[00:22:28] Leave as soon as you're comfortable with finances.

[00:22:30] There are Facebook groups and such looking for roommates.

[00:22:33] Especially in HCOL areas.

[00:22:36] OP says.

[00:22:37] I know that's what I should be doing.

[00:22:39] I do have a friend that is moving to a studio apartment near our college.

[00:22:42] But I don't have a job at the moment.

[00:22:44] And I don't want to be a burden to her.

[00:22:46] She and I are close.

[00:22:47] But I'm sure she would offer for me to move in with her.

[00:22:49] But I don't want to be a burden.

[00:22:51] Also I don't have a job at the moment.

[00:22:53] So I couldn't pay rent.

[00:22:54] So that's something else I need to do at the moment.

[00:22:57] So sometime later OP did update the post.

[00:23:00] And they said.

[00:23:01] Hi everyone.

[00:23:02] I wanted to write an update earlier.

[00:23:04] But I'm still kind of a mess at the moment.

[00:23:06] But I figured since my post had such an overwhelming response.

[00:23:09] And so many people commented and sent me messages.

[00:23:11] That I should write about the latest developments.

[00:23:14] First of all let me start by thanking all that commented on my post.

[00:23:17] And shared their own experiences or points of view on my situation.

[00:23:21] Thank you so much.

[00:23:23] A few days ago.

[00:23:24] I could barely find the energy to get out of bed.

[00:23:26] And my family's comments had made me really believe that I was guilty for all that had passed.

[00:23:31] But after seeing the responses to my post.

[00:23:33] And all the support you guys were giving me.

[00:23:35] I felt somewhat reaffirmed in my actions and feelings towards my family.

[00:23:39] I'm still fighting the feelings of guilt and depression.

[00:23:42] But whenever I start to spiral.

[00:23:44] I think on how much this community of strangers has had my back.

[00:23:47] As I try to calm myself down with your words.

[00:23:50] Thanks to your input and advice.

[00:23:52] I finally decided to call my grandma.

[00:23:54] And tell her the full story.

[00:23:56] Just to clarify a point before I go on.

[00:23:58] I said this in the comments.

[00:23:59] But I feel like I should put it here also.

[00:24:02] My grandma, 77 female, did not attend the wedding.

[00:24:06] She lives several states away and has mobility issues.

[00:24:08] So she doesn't travel anymore.

[00:24:11] We went to visit her around Easter.

[00:24:12] And that's when she commented that I might read a poem at the ceremony.

[00:24:16] But that was the last time I saw her in person before all this.

[00:24:19] She's always been very loving to me.

[00:24:21] And has called out my parents in the past for their favoritism.

[00:24:23] But it's hard for her to play a more active role in my upbringing.

[00:24:26] Since she lives so far.

[00:24:28] And I'm always worried about bothering her due to her age and health condition.

[00:24:31] She had a minor stroke a few years back.

[00:24:33] And is now back to normal.

[00:24:35] But I still worry.

[00:24:37] Anyway.

[00:24:37] I called her and laid out everything that had happened with the wedding.

[00:24:41] And how my parents didn't even buy me a ticket to go with them.

[00:24:44] She came to the same conclusion that most commenters did when I told her that.

[00:24:48] That it was simply impossible that they had forgotten.

[00:24:50] And they did it on purpose.

[00:24:52] I cried on the phone with her.

[00:24:53] Laying out how I was feeling.

[00:24:55] How this has been going on forever.

[00:24:57] How I feel in the aftermath.

[00:24:58] And most importantly about my need to get out.

[00:25:01] She was extremely sweet and comforting to me.

[00:25:03] And told me I had nothing else to worry about.

[00:25:05] Because she had my back 100%.

[00:25:08] And told me to take it easy.

[00:25:09] But make plans for my future.

[00:25:11] And that she'd help me.

[00:25:13] After that conversation which lasted about 2 hours.

[00:25:16] I felt better.

[00:25:17] And I decided to listen to her.

[00:25:22] I have a friend that is going to a Lisa studio next to our future campus.

[00:25:25] She has a great relationship with her parents.

[00:25:28] But she has 5 younger siblings.

[00:25:30] And wants to be more independent.

[00:25:31] So that's why she decided to move out.

[00:25:34] I asked her if I could move in with her temporarily.

[00:25:36] And that I would pay her rent as soon as I got a job.

[00:25:38] She immediately accepted.

[00:25:40] And told me not to worry about rent or anything else.

[00:25:43] Until I was in a better position.

[00:25:44] And we had a good cry together.

[00:25:46] When I told her.

[00:25:47] All about my parents wedding incident.

[00:25:49] So this all happened a couple of days ago.

[00:25:52] And I was planning on doing the update then.

[00:25:54] But my grandma called my parents and my siblings.

[00:25:56] To lecture them about how they were treating me.

[00:25:59] My brother just sent me a text afterwards.

[00:26:00] With a half-hearted apology.

[00:26:02] Saying that he didn't know I wasn't included.

[00:26:05] And that he just thought.

[00:26:07] I wouldn't have fun on the trip.

[00:26:08] And then I posted a pic just to create drama.

[00:26:11] My sister on the other hand berated me.

[00:26:13] And told me that I kept trying to make public my own problems.

[00:26:16] And pinning them on my family.

[00:26:18] When they are all innocent.

[00:26:20] It's been weird with my parents ever since they came back from the trip.

[00:26:23] And at first they berated me.

[00:26:25] And were furious with me.

[00:26:26] And after that we've just been ignoring each other.

[00:26:29] After my grandma called them.

[00:26:31] They came into my room telling me.

[00:26:32] That if I wanted to put this whole issue to rest.

[00:26:35] I should shut up about it.

[00:26:36] This could all had already blown over.

[00:26:39] If only I kept my mouth shut.

[00:26:41] I just asked them to leave my room.

[00:26:42] I then called my grandma again.

[00:26:44] To tell them what had gone down.

[00:26:46] She told me that she and my uncle.

[00:26:48] Had bought plane tickets to come down to see me.

[00:26:50] This was something I was actually scared about.

[00:26:53] Because my grandma's health is not the best.

[00:26:55] And this kind of effort is a lot for her.

[00:26:57] And I know how complicated it is for her.

[00:26:59] To get on a plane.

[00:27:00] So I tried to dissuade her from coming.

[00:27:02] And told her everything would be okay.

[00:27:04] But she wouldn't listen.

[00:27:06] And told me she was long overdue a conversation with my parents.

[00:27:09] And that she wanted to see me.

[00:27:10] I'm stressed for her.

[00:27:12] And I feel again like I forced her to take a long uncomfortable trip because of me.

[00:27:16] And that maybe I should have dealt with this myself.

[00:27:18] I do want to see her.

[00:27:20] And I wish for nothing more than to hug her right now.

[00:27:22] But I'm worried about her.

[00:27:24] At least my uncle.

[00:27:25] Mom's older brother.

[00:27:26] Is coming with her.

[00:27:27] But I hope she doesn't exhaust herself.

[00:27:29] Or nothing happens to her.

[00:27:30] Because that would break me.

[00:27:32] They arrive tomorrow.

[00:27:33] And have not informed my parents of their trip.

[00:27:36] My grandma asked me to keep it until she gets here.

[00:27:38] Hope she is able to make my parents see their mistake in their actions.

[00:27:41] Or at the very least.

[00:27:43] Help me break the news to them that I'm moving out very soon.

[00:27:46] And I plan on being in no contact with them.

[00:27:48] I don't know.

[00:27:49] I'm worried about her having to do so much for me.

[00:27:51] And bothering her.

[00:27:52] But I also appreciate and love her so much for doing all this for me.

[00:27:56] Grandma is coming to kick some ass.

[00:27:58] And I'm all for it.

[00:28:00] Good on grandma.

[00:28:01] She sounds like just the support you need to get yourself out of that toxic environment.

[00:28:07] And again.

[00:28:08] They know how much they've messed up in this situation.

[00:28:11] Coming into your room.

[00:28:12] Telling you to shut up.

[00:28:13] Keep your mouth shut.

[00:28:14] It would have all blown over already.

[00:28:16] You know.

[00:28:17] Fuck these people.

[00:28:18] You wasn't forgotten about.

[00:28:19] They decided to leave you out.

[00:28:21] That was a choice.

[00:28:22] You don't forget about your child.

[00:28:23] I'm sorry.

[00:28:24] You just don't.

[00:28:25] Forgot would be an accident.

[00:28:27] This wasn't an accident.

[00:28:28] Your friend sounds like an absolute legend.

[00:28:30] At the same time as well.

[00:28:32] And all I can really do is wish you all the best going forward.

[00:28:36] Get yourself out of that situation as soon as possible.

[00:28:39] Go with grandma.

[00:28:39] Go with your friend.

[00:28:41] Lean on the people that love you.

[00:28:42] That show you that support.

[00:28:43] And screw these people that don't.

[00:28:45] Like you said.

[00:28:46] No contact.

[00:28:47] It sounds like the best way forward in this situation.

[00:28:49] What has your family offered you?

[00:28:51] They've offered you nothing but pain.

[00:28:53] Ah.

[00:28:54] Deary me.

[00:28:55] Anyway.

[00:28:56] Now.

[00:28:56] I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:28:58] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:29:02] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:29:05] And just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:29:07] Getting involved in the story.

[00:29:09] Your love.

[00:29:10] Your support.

[00:29:10] Your time.

[00:29:11] Always means the absolute world to me.

[00:29:12] And if you want to share what you're up to whilst you're listening.

[00:29:15] I've been painting some Warhammer recently.

[00:29:17] Absolutely loving it.

[00:29:19] I'll be sharing my own progress pictures on there soon.

[00:29:21] So if you've got your own.

[00:29:22] Don't forget to share them over on Twitter or X.

[00:29:25] Whatever they want to bloody call it these days.

[00:29:26] At Mark Narrations.

[00:29:28] Get involved over there.

[00:29:29] Whatever hobbies you've got.

[00:29:31] Would love to see them.

[00:29:32] And I will see you in the next one.

[00:29:34] Take care.

[00:29:35] Much love.

[00:30:19] Take care.

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