I CANCELLED My Brothers Wedding Venue After He Uninvited Me From It r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, that subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:23] Now today's first story comes from AromaticCow8170 and says, Am I the arsehole for cancelling my brother's wedding venue reservation after he uninvited me?

[00:00:34] So I, 37 male, have a younger brother, Tom, 26 male, who's getting married in three months. A year ago when he and his fiance were planning their wedding, they were struggling to find an affordable venue.

[00:00:47] I own a vacation property with a large yard that has been used for a couple of small weddings before. So I offered it to him as a wedding venue, rent free.

[00:00:57] My only condition was that I wanted to be a part of the wedding party, which he agreed to. Everything seemed fine.

[00:01:04] Last week, Tom and I got into a small argument. It really wasn't a big deal, but a couple of days later, he texted me and said he and his fiance decided to downsize their wedding party,

[00:01:16] and I was no longer going to be a groomsman. I was shocked because I thought this was set in stone a year ago.

[00:01:23] I called him to ask what was going on, and he said it wasn't personal, just that they wanted to keep things small and intimate,

[00:01:30] and didn't feel like they needed me in the wedding party. I was pretty hurt, but I didn't say anything at the time.

[00:01:37] Then it occurred to me, if I'm not important enough to be in his wedding party, why should I host a wedding at my place?

[00:01:44] So I called him again and told him that since I wasn't going to be a part of the wedding, they'd need to find another venue.

[00:01:50] Now, Tom and his fiance are furious. They say they can't afford another venue at this point and that I'm ruining their big day.

[00:01:59] My parents are also upset and say I should just let it go and still host the wedding.

[00:02:04] I feel like I was doing them a huge favor, and they essentially uninvited me from being a part of the most important day of their lives.

[00:02:12] I don't think I'm wrong to retract my offer, but now everyone's making me feel guilty.

[00:02:16] So, am I the asshole for cancelling the venue?

[00:02:21] Edits. This blew up way more than I thought it would. Check my messages after work today and holy crap.

[00:02:27] To answer a few questions I'm seeing repeatedly.

[00:02:30] 1. Why did I need to offer to loan out my vacation house to be in the wedding?

[00:02:35] Opie says, my brother and I had a little bit of a rocky relationship most of his life.

[00:02:39] Our age difference has always been an awkward amount and I think he's jealous of my success in life too.

[00:02:45] He's done okay, but I've climbed the corporate ladder pretty quickly in finance and I think a lot of girls he's dated have had crushes on me.

[00:02:52] Being his older brother and the more successful one, then that bothers him.

[00:02:55] He picked small things to get mad at me about because of his jealousy and I felt like if I made it a condition of lending out my place, he would let me be in his wedding.

[00:03:05] 2. What did you get into an argument about?

[00:03:08] He got upset at me because he thinks I don't do enough with our parents, but I travel for my job so it's harder for me to be there in person.

[00:03:15] I also helped them out financially, which he never considers as helping out.

[00:03:19] They haven't saved as much as they probably should and are getting closer to retirement, so I helped them out with some bills so they can put more money in their 401k accounts instead.

[00:03:29] But I guess that isn't enough.

[00:03:32] He always finds something to say I'm doing wrong.

[00:03:34] 3. Are you still invited to the wedding?

[00:03:37] Technically, he only said I'm not in the wedding party, but it feels like such a slap in the face at this point and it definitely feels like he doesn't want me there.

[00:03:45] I tried to talk to him again to see what the real issue is because downsizing seems like BS to me.

[00:03:51] If I'm being completely honest for myself, I found that the start of this post really weird that you know you said you own this vacation property.

[00:04:00] Other people have used it before so you offered it your brother rent free, but there was a condition to it.

[00:04:06] You said yourself that you wanted to be in the wedding party which he then agreed to which is kind of saying to me that if you're having to make a condition to be in the wedding party,

[00:04:14] then something isn't quite right in your relationship in some way.

[00:04:17] I know you explained in the edit some things going on, but then why would you want to be in the wedding?

[00:04:22] Why would you want to be in the wedding party after that if you know your relationship is somewhat strained?

[00:04:27] But at the same time they accepted this condition and went along with it and then it felt like, you know,

[00:04:33] once they did get the place that they were just gonna find an excuse to not have you a part of the wedding party.

[00:04:39] It just feels messy.

[00:04:41] But a commenter says,

[00:04:42] I am curious.

[00:04:43] Why didn't your brother ask you to be in the wedding to begin with?

[00:04:47] You say you made it a condition for him to use your property and he agreed.

[00:04:51] Why would it be a condition?

[00:04:52] If he didn't ask you even before the property was offered, why?

[00:04:56] Do you two not really get along or not that close?

[00:04:59] What was this argument about?

[00:05:01] Now you say it wasn't a big deal, but maybe you don't think so, but he does.

[00:05:05] What happened?

[00:05:07] For him to make up that excuse, which you know that is the deal tells me,

[00:05:10] he didn't want you in the wedding party to begin with.

[00:05:12] In that regard, I don't blame you.

[00:05:14] I think you need to elaborate regarding your relationship with your brother.

[00:05:19] Lysab says petty, just like you should be.

[00:05:22] It was an agreement between the two of you.

[00:05:25] Then you rent free, but you were part of the wedding party.

[00:05:28] Your brother decided to punish you the wrong way.

[00:05:30] As long as he took back his part of your contract, you're no longer forced to honor your part.

[00:05:35] But it's too late for them to find something.

[00:05:37] You should tell them that as long as your brother can't honor his part of the deal,

[00:05:41] you're okay for them to do the venue at the same place, but for X amount.

[00:05:45] Payable right now because well, the confidence is broken.

[00:05:48] Maybe it'd have forced your brother to tell you the real reason why he doesn't want you anymore in his wedding.

[00:05:54] Winter Series says I think it's weird as fuck you tried to bargain yourself into the wedding,

[00:05:59] but they didn't have to agree.

[00:06:01] The sleep reply saying this dude gives weird vibes, doesn't get along with his brother,

[00:06:06] but offered his property to force himself into the wedding party.

[00:06:09] Then his explanation of why they don't get along is I'm so rich, handsome and successful.

[00:06:14] He's jealous, giving narcissistic vibes.

[00:06:17] Notice how he immediately said they couldn't use the venue when they said you're not a groomsman,

[00:06:22] despite still being invited.

[00:06:24] And the dude still has no idea why his brother doesn't like him.

[00:06:28] Every caterpillar says everyone sucks here, something smells fishy here.

[00:06:33] The fact it was your condition to be in the wedding party to use your venue tells me your brother

[00:06:37] wouldn't have asked you on his own to be in the party and you knew that.

[00:06:41] This tells me the relationship between you and your brother is not really that good,

[00:06:45] at least on his side.

[00:06:46] Why else would you need to force yourself into the party if you guys were close

[00:06:50] and he would have chosen you as a groomsman anyway?

[00:06:52] You obviously want to be closer with him than he is comfortable, and this speaks volumes honestly.

[00:06:58] You are not the asshole per se to refuse them your venue.

[00:07:01] But I think you should rethink your decision.

[00:07:03] This will most likely kill the last remaining chance to better your relationship with him.

[00:07:07] So if you want to be a part of his future, think twice about burning bridges.

[00:07:12] Also, I think a better way to better your relationship with your brother would have been reflecting on

[00:07:17] why you're not his natural first choice of groomsman.

[00:07:19] Only you know what happened between you guys and why he isn't too fond of you.

[00:07:23] And try to make amends.

[00:07:25] Not trying to force yourself into his wedding party.

[00:07:29] Oh yeah, I just agree with that comment.

[00:07:31] It's just the whole thing seems so weird to me.

[00:07:33] I'm just trying to picture that conversation between the brothers.

[00:07:35] Yeah, you can use my place as your wedding venue, but as long as you have me as a groomsman.

[00:07:41] How does that conversation happen?

[00:07:43] To me, it just seems like a really weird thing to say.

[00:07:46] But OP said, okay.

[00:07:49] So if anyone wants to see my original post, then shares the link.

[00:07:52] I was having a hard time believing my brother when he told me they were downsizing the wedding party

[00:07:57] just to make it more intimate.

[00:07:59] But that's all he kept saying when I would ask for the real reason.

[00:08:02] In all honesty, my brother and I aren't that close.

[00:08:05] Which I'm sure is obvious from my last post.

[00:08:08] After my emotions settled down a bit, I told my brother I wanted to talk to him.

[00:08:12] He wasn't responding to me, so I said I wanted to talk to him about potentially letting him still use my vacation home.

[00:08:19] Not totally the truth, but it seemed like a good way to get him to talk.

[00:08:23] He finally responded, but said I couldn't come over.

[00:08:26] He would only meet me somewhere public.

[00:08:28] Which seemed weird.

[00:08:30] We ended up meeting at a bar late last night that I liked near my place

[00:08:34] and I straight up just asked why he was really kicking me out of his wedding.

[00:08:38] I would only consider letting him use my vacation house if he told me the truth.

[00:08:43] He was getting pretty fidgety and looking away from me and finally told me the truth.

[00:08:48] Apparently his fiance heard that I may do a bit of cocaine here and there for fun

[00:08:52] and she told him that she didn't want a crackhead in her wedding.

[00:08:56] He said he actually kind of agreed with her and was disappointed in what I was doing.

[00:09:00] I told him if I'm too much of a crackhead to be there, then they really shouldn't want to use a crackhead's house for their wedding and I left.

[00:09:07] I don't really see how it impacts them what I do in my free time, but I really don't care to be there now if that's what they think of me.

[00:09:15] I haven't said a word to him since, but I'm guessing I won't be hearing from him again soon.

[00:09:19] And the majority of the comments were like, not the arsehole in the very end of this.

[00:09:25] I'm kind of still on the fence with more of a everyone sucks here and Kodu Chaos pretty much summed it up for me.

[00:09:31] They said, I'm going to go against the grain and say everyone sucks here.

[00:09:35] And no, I'm not factoring cocaine into my decision.

[00:09:38] What other people put into their bodies is none of my business.

[00:09:42] Your brother is the arsehole because he booted you out of the wedding party but thought he could still use your venue.

[00:09:47] He's too good to have his crackhead brother in his wedding, but not too good to have his wedding at a crack house.

[00:09:54] That's shitty.

[00:09:55] But you two are the arsehole because you tried to buy your way into your brother's wedding.

[00:09:59] You said yourself that you aren't close.

[00:10:01] If you wanted a closer relationship, put in the work.

[00:10:05] It's not worth the work.

[00:10:06] Don't resort to bribery.

[00:10:08] That's not a good look.

[00:10:10] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:10:14] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:16] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:19] Let's move on to another story.

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[00:10:43] Allianz, here for your life.

[00:10:45] Our next story comes from xdeserted from the marriage subreddit saying,

[00:10:54] Wife pregnant after vasectomy.

[00:10:58] I had my vasectomy in November of 2023.

[00:11:01] My primary care doctor recommended his personal urologist to do the procedure.

[00:11:06] I tested my sperm three months after the procedure and was told by the clinic that I was 100% sterile.

[00:11:12] I asked if I needed to return for a second test to be sure and was told no that I'm good.

[00:11:18] Fast forward to this morning.

[00:11:20] My wife wakes up at 6am holding a positive pregnancy test.

[00:11:25] Neither of us are upset per se, but we were both over the fact that we wouldn't be having more kids.

[00:11:29] We currently have a boy, 10 and a girl, 7.

[00:11:33] We're both 37 years old and just kind of anxious and not sure what to think now.

[00:11:38] I'm going to get my sperm tested again and already messaged my urologist.

[00:11:42] My wife is making an appointment to have a blood test done to confirm.

[00:11:46] Any thoughts or just comments would be appreciated.

[00:11:49] We're both just sort of shocked considering how unlikely this is to happen.

[00:11:54] Decord says, wouldn't she attempt to hide the pregnancy from you and undergo an abortion if she was cheating?

[00:12:00] The sectomies don't always take.

[00:12:03] I mean, you really only have one choice here.

[00:12:05] Get tested again.

[00:12:07] If you're sterile, find a lawyer and request a paternity test.

[00:12:11] Uppy says that's the plan of action and agreed.

[00:12:13] It wouldn't be something she's open about.

[00:12:15] She even mentioned a few days ago being worried about her period being late.

[00:12:19] So I highly doubt that's the case.

[00:12:22] Decord replies saying, I agree.

[00:12:23] That was my first thought.

[00:12:24] If you're cheating and concerned about a pregnancy,

[00:12:27] you don't openly discuss it with your spouse and show them a pregnancy test you've taken.

[00:12:31] Wish you both the best.

[00:12:33] Opie responding to a commenter who says, you know,

[00:12:36] they wouldn't doubt the wife because her actions are saying not cheating.

[00:12:39] Opie says agreed and I do trust her.

[00:12:41] We've been through quite a bit in our marriage.

[00:12:43] So trust has been earned, I guess you could say.

[00:12:46] We both know we love each other and this is a huge surprise and challenge to our marriage and family.

[00:12:51] One that I hope we are ready at the ripe age of 37.

[00:12:54] Lol.

[00:12:55] Jassy Jane says ripe old age of 37.

[00:12:58] Had my first baby at 36.

[00:13:00] You'll be fine as long as you commit to communicating with your wife.

[00:13:06] 12 days later, Opie comes back in and says,

[00:13:08] I received my semen analysis today and boy, do I have news.

[00:13:12] Sperm was present in the sample.

[00:13:15] 1.5 million per milliliter.

[00:13:17] 4.40 million total motile per 4.4 milliliters of ejaculate.

[00:13:22] I can't believe this happened to us.

[00:13:25] I'm in shock as is my doctor.

[00:13:27] He said he hasn't seen a case like this in 30 years.

[00:13:31] He's been a urologist and is offering to do the surgery again for free.

[00:13:34] He thinks it's possible one of the tubes reconnected.

[00:13:37] So I guess I'm a dad again.

[00:13:39] Thanks to everyone who has been supportive with their comments and suggestions.

[00:13:43] My wife has an ultrasound in a few weeks and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

[00:13:50] It just reconnected?

[00:13:53] What the hell?

[00:13:54] Man, I gotta do some research.

[00:13:57] You learn something new every day here.

[00:13:59] But piece of that fancy feast says,

[00:14:01] Love that the sub generally got this one right.

[00:14:04] Congrats.

[00:14:05] Our youngest is also 7 and she would be so ecstatic.

[00:14:10] Opie says, Lol, thank you so much.

[00:14:13] I haven't told my kids yet but I will after we confirm the ultrasound.

[00:14:17] OSoul says, I'm invested now and so happy you're happy.

[00:14:21] Updates once the kiddos react.

[00:14:23] Opie says, I keep updating for sure.

[00:14:25] I don't mind sharing positive news at all.

[00:14:27] It's fun to discuss with strangers.

[00:14:29] Funny enough, most of our family and friends still don't know about this.

[00:14:33] But a bunch of friendly people on Reddit know about it.

[00:14:35] Gotta love it.

[00:14:37] Seaworthiness says,

[00:14:38] So glad you didn't go in guns or blades about her cheating on you.

[00:14:42] Congrats on the surprise.

[00:14:44] Opie says, I would never.

[00:14:45] That would have ended our marriage and I would feel like a complete dumbass right now.

[00:14:50] Traditional says,

[00:14:51] Such a logical, well-rounded way of dealing with this.

[00:14:54] I'm happy for you all.

[00:14:55] I'm excited for Opie as well and their family of course.

[00:14:59] You know, the way that they're saying about how they're excited.

[00:15:02] I think that's absolutely amazing.

[00:15:04] Especially like when originally it sounds like they wanted to put a stop to having any more children.

[00:15:08] So, I'm glad for your family that you're all happy and you're rolling with it.

[00:15:13] And I really wish you all the best going forward with a pregnancy as well.

[00:15:16] I hope things go as smoothly as they can.

[00:15:19] But now, I'm gonna turn this one to you guys.

[00:15:22] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:15:25] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:15:28] Let's move on to another story.

[00:15:31] Our next story comes from the Am I Overreacting subreddit by experience7433 and says,

[00:15:38] Am I overreacting because I'm mad my husband didn't stand up for me when his friend called me gross, fat and a turkey.

[00:15:47] We were having dinner last night at a friend's house whom I've only met a few times.

[00:15:52] My husband has recently been hanging out with more.

[00:15:55] While holding our 10 month old on my lap, my husband showed his friend pictures from our wedding last summer.

[00:16:00] I was 37 weeks pregnant and had gained 35 pounds at that point.

[00:16:05] The friend looks at the photo and says,

[00:16:08] Oh gross, what happened to you?

[00:16:10] Your face is so fat, you look like a fat turkey.

[00:16:13] I tried to calmly explain to him what happens to your body when you were that heavily pregnant.

[00:16:19] Big stomach, bloating, water retention etc.

[00:16:22] He wasn't interested in listening and just went on laughing and repeating similar insults.

[00:16:27] I looked at my husband and he just laughed along with him.

[00:16:31] I went and put our baby to bed and cried myself to sleep.

[00:16:35] My husband has never stood up for me when people have said mean things to me.

[00:16:39] I told him I need him to do that.

[00:16:41] He always has excuses and promises he will next time.

[00:16:44] He never does.

[00:16:46] I can't stand him anymore and want him to get the hell out of the house.

[00:16:49] Am I overreacting?

[00:16:53] What grown ass adult says that kind of thing?

[00:16:57] Looking at someone's wedding photos and you're saying that about a pregnant woman.

[00:17:01] Well, anyone saying that about anyone is just fucking disgusting.

[00:17:04] And then your husband to laugh along with it.

[00:17:07] Yeah, absolutely.

[00:17:07] You should be pissed off.

[00:17:09] I'm boiling up thinking about someone saying that to a loved one in front of me.

[00:17:14] You know, I'm not a violent person, but holy moly, this one's pushing me to the edge.

[00:17:19] I hope he came in a day later and was answering some questions.

[00:17:23] They said thank you everyone who has commented.

[00:17:25] I want to answer a few questions that come up repeatedly.

[00:17:28] Why did I not defend myself?

[00:17:30] What I needed at that time was only something my husband could provide.

[00:17:34] No violence, yelling, swearing or name calling.

[00:17:37] I just needed him to say.

[00:17:38] I thought you looked beautiful on our wedding day, babe.

[00:17:41] I would have said thank you, had a laugh and we would have moved on with our evening.

[00:17:45] I needed to feel like a team, like he had my back.

[00:17:48] I don't care about others' opinions of me.

[00:17:50] I care about my husband's.

[00:17:52] Why did I marry and have a child with this man?

[00:17:55] That's a tough one as I love my son and I can't imagine a life without him in it.

[00:17:59] But yes, my husband and I met, fell in love, created a life together, wanted the same lifestyle,

[00:18:05] created dreams and worked on achieving them together.

[00:18:07] Yes, I was naive but I have a hard time right now articulating how I feel inside when I ask myself this question.

[00:18:15] If you don't understand, I apologize.

[00:18:17] We'll have to explain it one day to my son when he is older.

[00:18:21] Hopefully it is easier then.

[00:18:22] I want to add that yesterday I was living in a cloud of rage and said things on this thread and in my personal life out of anger.

[00:18:29] I really just feel empty and broken.

[00:18:32] I'm trying to process everything but it is tough.

[00:18:35] I talk about this in the comments but I should have added this here.

[00:18:39] Similar incidents have happened before and my husband does not have my back or will join in with a person who is belittling me.

[00:18:45] I've explained to him how it hurts me and what I need from him in the future.

[00:18:49] He always says he will but when the next time comes, he does not.

[00:18:53] I'm at my wits end.

[00:18:54] We attempted therapy but just I have continued it.

[00:18:58] And yes, this is just one of several issues in our marriage.

[00:19:01] The update.

[00:19:02] My husband is living at a friend's but they have a family so I don't know how long that will last.

[00:19:07] I don't know his plan.

[00:19:09] My parents are handling our communication.

[00:19:11] They want me to take a few days to calm down then re-evaluate how I feel and go from there.

[00:19:16] For the sake of my child I will but as of now, I do not want to continue this marriage.

[00:19:21] My husband came over to the house for two hours to spend time with our son.

[00:19:25] My mum and I gave them space and left the house.

[00:19:28] Whatever my husband lacks in love towards me, he certainly has for our son.

[00:19:32] They adore each other and I would never want them to not see each other.

[00:19:36] As for the friend, well, I guess my husband called him and gave him my number because he called me several times and sent me texts saying to call him.

[00:19:44] I sent him a message saying my issue is not with you.

[00:19:47] I do not want to talk to anyone today.

[00:19:49] Thank you.

[00:19:50] He then drove over to my house where I was alone with my baby.

[00:19:53] I repeated what I said and asked him to leave.

[00:19:55] He did.

[00:19:56] He ended up texting me an apology.

[00:19:58] I accepted it and left it at that.

[00:20:01] And then the bunch of comments which came from OP in the thread below.

[00:20:05] They said I'm 5'7", 135 pounds.

[00:20:07] I also pay for everything and bail my husband out financially.

[00:20:10] So yes, I will be alone with my skinny self, my baby and my money and no deadweight husband.

[00:20:16] Thank you.

[00:20:16] I will do that.

[00:20:17] Next comment says honestly, all I wanted my husband to say was I thought my wife looked beautiful.

[00:20:22] I'm so happy we still got to have a wedding and she married me despite being so heavily pregnant.

[00:20:27] That was a happy day for us.

[00:20:28] Even just something along those lines would have made me happy.

[00:20:32] Next commenter says I do suspect my husband has talked poorly about me behind my back but can't confirm.

[00:20:37] I can confirm though that this friend is very blunt and speaks without thinking kind of personality.

[00:20:43] So I don't know.

[00:20:45] Next commenter says there are other problems.

[00:20:47] I pay for everything.

[00:20:48] He's a deadweight.

[00:20:49] No, I'm done.

[00:20:51] Next commenter says, and that's how it should be.

[00:20:53] But no, my husband enjoys jokes at my expense.

[00:20:56] Calling me a whale while pregnant.

[00:20:58] Mooing at me while pumping for food for our child.

[00:21:00] What the fuck man?

[00:21:02] Really?

[00:21:03] Oinking at me while I'm eating after giving birth.

[00:21:06] I could go on and on.

[00:21:08] I like to joke and everything too, but people's bodies should be off limits.

[00:21:13] Jesus.

[00:21:14] Oh, wow.

[00:21:16] What a fucking scumbag.

[00:21:19] I'm lost for words.

[00:21:20] The sad thing is that I did bounce back right after birth, mainly due to my husband saying shit like that lady did to you.

[00:21:27] Mainly due to my husband saying shit like that lady did to you.

[00:21:31] He would literally deny me food.

[00:21:33] Call me a pig if my plate had lots of food on it.

[00:21:35] Tell me I'm eating too much, etc.

[00:21:37] Lost all 38 pounds in two months and felt like I was going to collapse every day.

[00:21:42] Unfortunately, we've had this conversation numerous times and I've told him plain and simple what I need from him in order to have a marriage with him.

[00:21:49] He never changes.

[00:21:50] What else can one do but divorce at this point?

[00:21:54] Absolutely leaving that person is the right thing to do.

[00:21:58] He's abusive and definitely be keeping an eye on your child if he's visiting him, etc.

[00:22:04] Because you don't want that kind of shit to be passed on that kind of mindset to be passed on to your child as well.

[00:22:10] Holy moly.

[00:22:11] Absolute well rid of him.

[00:22:13] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:17] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:20] Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:22:24] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:22:27] So thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:22:31] Take care.

[00:22:32] Much love.