I Called Out My Mother-In-Law For Always Putting My Husband LAST! r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. If you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Our today's first story comes from TrueEvilIncarnate and says, would I be the arsehole if I called out my mother-in-law for literally putting my husband last? There is a trigger warning on this one for drug abuse, domestic violence, descriptions of medical emergencies with blood and seizures.

[00:00:38] Whew. My husband was hit by a car while on his e-bike two weeks ago. No fractures of any sort miraculously, but has a mid-temporal trauma subarachnoid hemorrhage on his right side. He is supremely lucky to be alive and his two-day stint in the ICU was filled with onlookers of the man who was crushed in a car but only suffered a minor laceration and brain bleed.

[00:01:00] This man is very anti-hospital and finicky and insists he's fine. But his mother and I disagree because he has permanent optical nerve damage due to an extremely rare brain aneurysm. It wasn't an aneurysm, I just don't know what to call it because it doesn't have a name yet. He had as a child. The doctors said that puts him at even higher risks than if he were normal.

[00:01:23] I think he should go back to the ER to get another scan and suck it the frick up. And these symptoms are why.

[00:01:30] He's still having high blood pressure spikes. His average has been 160 over 100. Highest spike while sitting was 210 slash 150. Heart rate averaged around 60.

[00:01:41] But he had sinus bradycardia when he was released with a max dip of 39, three hours before he left. Possibly due to the med they gave him currently not on the list for some reason.

[00:01:52] Ever since stopping the weak prescription of Keppra, his headache has now turned into an additional severe toothache and makes his brain feel wiggly.

[00:02:00] The headache that originally was in the middle right of his brain where the bleed is has been traveling around, specifically the back section of his brain.

[00:02:08] He's been sleeping abnormally long. Usually it's four hours a day, but he's been sleeping 10 to 14 hours a day sometimes.

[00:02:15] His sense of taste has been funky and some foods are disgusting to him now, even though he loved them.

[00:02:21] Concerning the toothache. It keeps switching from his tooth to his brain and is so bad, he's been breaking the rules and taking 1,200 milligrams of Tylenol every six hours,

[00:02:33] rather than the capped amount of 650 milligrams. And he says it doesn't help at all.

[00:02:38] He's also been hammering Oragel, O-R-A-G-E-L, into his teeth, literally saying it's not helping, but it helps.

[00:02:48] Cognitively, he's okay. A bit slower than normal, but that's kind of to be expected with a head injury.

[00:02:54] No tingles or numbness passes all sensory tests and reflex tests. His wrist is starting to hurt.

[00:03:00] He crushed the back of the car with it, so I suspect it's got a buccal fracture at least.

[00:03:04] I had one as a kid. The main worrying thing is the back of head headache that won't go away,

[00:03:09] and the fact that he's still getting very dizzy in weird situations.

[00:03:13] Against my judgment, he hopped onto my bike last week to make sure he can still mentally deal with biking,

[00:03:18] and he surprisingly has been very good on it, and only has an issue once he stops.

[00:03:23] He gets super dizzy when he's staying still, and is perfectly fine when moving.

[00:03:34] The ICU said the dizziness should have gone away after roughly a week, but this is week two, and it's not getting any better.

[00:03:40] Am I wrong for wanting to force him to go back at least to get it looked at?

[00:03:44] In our area, the nearest time to see a basic PCP is a three-month wait.

[00:03:49] And my neurologist, only outpatient one in our area, has a six-month waiting list for new patients.

[00:03:55] Also, if we do go, how can we convince him to not give him any IVs?

[00:03:59] His veins and arms are sensitive and still bruised from his original stay,

[00:04:03] and he doesn't want them prodding at him just to do a basic CT scan and wrist x-ray.

[00:04:08] Many thanks in advance.

[00:04:10] Sorry for the length, I can only provide other info if needed,

[00:04:13] and if you all want to see the damage to the lady's car, I'm down to put it in the comments,

[00:04:16] but only if there's an actual want for it.

[00:04:19] Also, this isn't an emergency post.

[00:04:21] Understated neurological emergency signs.

[00:04:23] I have neurological issues myself.

[00:04:25] I just need someone to back my concerns because me and his mother aren't convincing enough apparently.

[00:04:31] Edith just realized I left out personal changes.

[00:04:34] Usually, he is a generally angry person.

[00:04:37] It has been unexplainably sad since the accident.

[00:04:40] Crying at the sight of the symbolist things like a crushed water bottle our kittens were playing with.

[00:04:45] Also, his newest symptom is popping and crackling in his right ear.

[00:04:51] And all we've heard about so far is the symptoms that a husband is going through,

[00:04:56] which, you know, all sounds very traumatic brain injury-like.

[00:05:00] So I assume coming up, we're going to see the turn of the mother-in-law soon.

[00:05:04] But yeah, absolutely.

[00:05:06] With all the symptoms that you said, if I was in that situation,

[00:05:08] I'd be encouraging or telling any of my loved ones,

[00:05:11] you need to go to hospital.

[00:05:12] Jump in the car.

[00:05:13] Let's roll.

[00:05:14] Or not quite along the same lines, but like with my dad,

[00:05:18] when his first symptoms of mesothelioma came up.

[00:05:22] We didn't know what it was,

[00:05:23] but he just started becoming more and more breathless to the point that,

[00:05:27] you know, when he was going across to his local shops,

[00:05:29] which is about, you know, a 10-minute walk away,

[00:05:32] halfway across, which my dad at the time, he used to walk everywhere.

[00:05:36] He used to love going out, walking, talking to people.

[00:05:38] But halfway through, he'd have to have a sit down because he was so breathless.

[00:05:41] And I was like, come on now, this isn't right.

[00:05:43] And went straight to the doctor.

[00:05:44] And the doctor pretty much, surprisingly, assumed straight away that's what it was.

[00:05:49] But my dad at first was like, oh no, I don't need to go see a doctor for this.

[00:05:52] It'll go away, blah, blah, blah.

[00:05:54] And it's like, nah, come on now.

[00:05:56] So we cover one comment from this one.

[00:05:57] Wise Gal says,

[00:05:59] The things you're describing all sound very typical for a traumatic brain injury,

[00:06:02] which is what he had.

[00:06:04] Headaches, sleep pattern changes, and personality changes are common.

[00:06:07] I tell my patients to expect these things to be present for weeks to months after the injury.

[00:06:13] During that time frame.

[00:06:14] Also in this category are the cognitive changes.

[00:06:17] The Tylenol use you reported is very concerning.

[00:06:21] Doses higher than 4,000 milligrams in 24 hours can cause liver damage.

[00:06:25] This isn't the mild type either.

[00:06:27] Tylenol overdose can cause irreversible and fatal liver failure.

[00:06:32] Please don't let him take that much in 24 hours.

[00:06:34] If he has now new worsening confusion, weakness on one side of the body, new difficulty walking,

[00:06:40] difficulty speaking, acutely worsening pain, or you're unable to wake him up,

[00:06:44] you need to go to the ER immediately.

[00:06:46] It's rare, but re-bleeding in TBI patients does happen.

[00:06:51] Ah, so the next bit, the update, or part of the update, it says,

[00:06:56] Would I be the arsehole if I called out my mother-in-law for literally putting my husband last?

[00:07:00] That must have been like the prequel.

[00:07:02] But Opie comes in with the accident recap and says,

[00:07:04] While he has been home recovering, he's been having lots of various symptoms,

[00:07:08] along with some bottled mental health decline that he thinks he's hiding.

[00:07:12] This man is usually very stoic, calm, and collected,

[00:07:15] and usually if anything on the angry side.

[00:07:17] But he's been crying at the drop of a hat, left and right.

[00:07:20] Even he knows it's odd.

[00:07:22] Ever since his accident, I've been in contact with his mum, 56 female,

[00:07:27] keeping her updated as she lives across the country,

[00:07:29] and couldn't be by his side like I and his brother were.

[00:07:32] This is important because when my husband was a very young child,

[00:07:35] he had an extremely rare blood clot occur that caused permanent optical nerve damage in one eye.

[00:07:41] And his mother is the knower of that whole period of his life.

[00:07:45] As she spent every day with him for a full year in the hospital working to get his sight back,

[00:07:50] his previous clot made this new bleed very dangerous.

[00:07:53] So keeping my mother-in-law in the know was slash is a must.

[00:07:57] My brother-in-law only hung around for the first two days,

[00:08:00] and then gave up on caring and left.

[00:08:02] He's an arsehole.

[00:08:03] I'll sum him up shortly.

[00:08:05] And at some point a week and a half after the accident,

[00:08:08] my mother-in-law stopped answering texts about the updates entirely.

[00:08:11] My husband blew it off as his mum thought,

[00:08:13] no news is good news as a better option.

[00:08:16] But I found it dickish.

[00:08:18] Suddenly last week, she texted saying,

[00:08:20] she and her partner were coming to visit this week.

[00:08:23] When I talked with her sister who lives near her,

[00:08:25] she said my mother-in-law had been frantically trying to find cheap flights to come and see my husband.

[00:08:31] Said husband got very excited visibly,

[00:08:33] but then blew it off and said,

[00:08:35] okay, cool.

[00:08:36] I know he'd been missing her,

[00:08:37] as she only moved away due to some trouble between our families that resolved itself in an odd way.

[00:08:43] No hard feelings between anybody,

[00:08:45] just weird living situations.

[00:08:47] He's also been so emotionally unstable,

[00:08:49] that I think he just needs her around.

[00:08:52] We've been together for 11 years,

[00:08:54] and he's nowhere near alone.

[00:08:55] But she's still his mother nonetheless.

[00:08:58] Plus, she's a wonderful woman in many ways,

[00:09:00] so she's great to have around when you feel like shit.

[00:09:03] She didn't tell us a day,

[00:09:04] so when she texted me this afternoon,

[00:09:06] suddenly saying that she was driving back from her sister's house,

[00:09:09] would be visiting my brother-in-law,

[00:09:11] getting a motel,

[00:09:11] and stopping to say hi.

[00:09:13] You can say we were both surprised,

[00:09:15] and both feeling a mixture of happiness,

[00:09:16] but also sadness.

[00:09:18] The sadness is because of her choice of people to visit.

[00:09:21] The airport she landed at is 30 minutes north of where my husband and I live.

[00:09:25] She decided instead of immediately coming to check on her son,

[00:09:28] who was lucky to be alive,

[00:09:30] to instead travel two and a half hours north from the airport

[00:09:33] to visit her three-year-old granddaughter at her sister's house.

[00:09:36] My brother-in-law and his girlfriend had severe drug issues,

[00:09:39] so my aunt-in-law has custody of her for now,

[00:09:42] until they get their shit together.

[00:09:44] Then she left there to travel two hours south back towards us,

[00:09:48] to visit my brother-in-law,

[00:09:49] then get a motel in his town,

[00:09:51] and maybe come say hi if it's not too late for her.

[00:09:54] My husband said this was fine,

[00:09:56] but I could tell he was upset,

[00:09:57] because he started tearing up.

[00:09:59] He kept blowing it off,

[00:10:00] but it made me mad.

[00:10:02] Then five hours later,

[00:10:03] as I suspected would happen,

[00:10:05] my mother-in-law called to say that she was tired from driving,

[00:10:07] and her plane trip,

[00:10:09] and that she was going to go to sleep,

[00:10:10] and see us whenever tomorrow.

[00:10:13] My husband quietly broke down,

[00:10:14] denying his emotions,

[00:10:16] and saying he was fine,

[00:10:17] he didn't know why he was reacting this way,

[00:10:19] yada yada.

[00:10:21] So would I be the arsehole for telling my mother-in-law

[00:10:23] she's a fucking arsehole,

[00:10:25] made my husband cry,

[00:10:26] and while I understand she stressed out herself,

[00:10:29] dealing with my brother-in-law and his bullshit,

[00:10:31] that she needs to stop putting my husband last,

[00:10:33] to placate the piece of shit she should have aborted,

[00:10:36] that her firstborn son,

[00:10:37] that she spent so much time and effort taking care of,

[00:10:40] almost died,

[00:10:41] and wants his fucking mother to the point of crying like a baby,

[00:10:44] and that directly doing everything but coming to see him,

[00:10:47] broke his heart to bits.

[00:10:49] The reason I word it that way,

[00:10:50] is because my brother-in-law had a massive second child complex,

[00:10:54] where he thinks my husband is the favorite,

[00:10:56] because he was born first,

[00:10:57] and due to his childhood medical issues,

[00:10:59] he used that as ammo to my mother-in-law,

[00:11:01] as to how my husband is her supposed favorite.

[00:11:04] Note, he's 31,

[00:11:05] and he's still doing this shit.

[00:11:07] It doesn't help that she's a massive pushover,

[00:11:10] who lets this shit happen in the first place,

[00:11:12] but she always does what brother-in-law says,

[00:11:14] and bends to his will.

[00:11:16] Every time she visits,

[00:11:17] we only see her once for a few hours,

[00:11:19] out of a week-long stay,

[00:11:20] because my child of a brother-in-law,

[00:11:22] wants his mummy to himself,

[00:11:24] and she caves.

[00:11:25] My husband likes to keep to himself,

[00:11:27] so he says it's fine,

[00:11:28] but I can tell he thinks his brother is the favorite,

[00:11:30] and it makes him cringe internally,

[00:11:32] and seethe with butthurtery.

[00:11:34] I don't know when she's going to be here tomorrow,

[00:11:37] but I really want to lay into her.

[00:11:39] My husband says,

[00:11:40] leave it be,

[00:11:41] she's got a lot on her plate.

[00:11:42] I called bullshit.

[00:11:44] She's literally on vacation right now.

[00:11:46] There's nothing on her plate.

[00:11:47] She should have come to see him first,

[00:11:49] whether she plans on spending a whole day with him tomorrow,

[00:11:51] or whatever.

[00:11:53] It doesn't matter.

[00:11:54] She said she missed him,

[00:11:56] and desperately wanted to see him and hug him,

[00:11:58] but when it came down to it,

[00:12:00] she'd rather go cuddle with a baby,

[00:12:02] who barely knows her,

[00:12:03] then travel to a different location entirely,

[00:12:06] to visit that baby's shitty father instead,

[00:12:08] and not even show up at all.

[00:12:10] I think I'd be in there right by calling her out,

[00:12:13] but I think I would also be an asshole,

[00:12:16] because she's a usually wonderful woman,

[00:12:18] who has helped her so much throughout the years.

[00:12:20] She's dealing with a stupid man-child,

[00:12:22] and trying to help him get his daughter back,

[00:12:24] which is saintly itself,

[00:12:25] considering he doesn't deserve anyone's help in general.

[00:12:28] She doesn't deserve someone yelling at her,

[00:12:30] but I can't just sit here,

[00:12:31] while my son and stars breaks to pieces.

[00:12:34] Also, since my own mother's death,

[00:12:35] and our previous relationship,

[00:12:37] I've been a bit touchy on the subject,

[00:12:38] of how mothers and children should treat each other,

[00:12:41] but I don't want to make my mother-in-law cry,

[00:12:43] just because I'm being a dick.

[00:12:45] If anyone can give some advice,

[00:12:46] that'd be swell.

[00:12:47] I'd like to be able to say something tomorrow,

[00:12:50] but I'll wait and see what the internet says,

[00:12:52] because my echo chamber is too small at home.

[00:12:54] Thank you all,

[00:12:55] and happy scrolling.

[00:12:57] Edit,

[00:12:57] in case anyone wonders why,

[00:12:59] I shit on my brother-in-law so hard,

[00:13:01] and doesn't like the use of my word junkie.

[00:13:03] Well, I apologize,

[00:13:04] but my brother-in-law is not a good person from the get-go,

[00:13:06] and drugs do not help.

[00:13:08] Explaining all the horrible things he has done,

[00:13:10] is its own story itself.

[00:13:12] Also,

[00:13:12] the past four times she's come to visit,

[00:13:14] is because of brother-in-law asking her to,

[00:13:16] along with giving him lots of money,

[00:13:18] pay for multiple week-long trips for him,

[00:13:20] and his little family to visit her.

[00:13:22] But not us.

[00:13:23] No.

[00:13:24] Opie comes in with another update,

[00:13:26] and says,

[00:13:26] where I may be wrong,

[00:13:27] my brother-in-law relatively didn't do anything wrong this time yet.

[00:13:31] I don't think he specifically asked her to come to him first or anything,

[00:13:34] and I believe he's relatively behaving like a human for the time being,

[00:13:37] so punching him in the face would be out of the blue and dickheadish.

[00:13:41] But he's been in therapy,

[00:13:42] and trying to get his life together so he can get his daughter back.

[00:13:46] Where I'd be right,

[00:13:47] my brother-in-law is walking garbage in stolen shoes.

[00:13:50] To super sum it up as a person,

[00:13:52] he's narcissistic,

[00:13:54] manipulative,

[00:13:54] he has many deeply rooted mental health issues,

[00:13:57] multiple severe decade-long drug problems,

[00:14:00] not just habits,

[00:14:01] and acts as if,

[00:14:02] you aren't there doing him a favor,

[00:14:04] and kissing his feet.

[00:14:05] Literally.

[00:14:06] Then you must hate him.

[00:14:07] And he's going to jump off a bridge.

[00:14:09] He even goes to the bridge and everything,

[00:14:11] but he's bluffing,

[00:14:12] and has admitted to that.

[00:14:13] He has gotten me,

[00:14:15] my husband,

[00:14:16] and many others arrested,

[00:14:17] and put through ridiculous court ordeals due to my brother-in-law's schemes.

[00:14:21] He is,

[00:14:22] in my opinion,

[00:14:23] responsible for two girls dying due to drug overdoses.

[00:14:26] He's gotten his current girlfriend addicted to drugs as well,

[00:14:29] and they've both lost their daughter because she's overdosed.

[00:14:32] Luckily,

[00:14:32] she survived.

[00:14:33] I think it's a blessing because she's out of that environment,

[00:14:36] and away from brother-in-law who is extremely violent,

[00:14:39] and often hurts his girlfriend.

[00:14:40] I have a permanent neurological disorder due to a fight I had with him once,

[00:14:45] where he headbutted me and cracked my skull open.

[00:14:48] He also takes advantage of his mother like crazy,

[00:14:51] because she's a saint and can't say no.

[00:14:54] He's stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from over his lifetime,

[00:14:57] and constantly claims favoritism towards my husband to get money,

[00:15:00] cars,

[00:15:01] plane tickets,

[00:15:02] free rent,

[00:15:02] etc,

[00:15:03] etc.

[00:15:04] Meanwhile,

[00:15:05] my husband maybe talks to his mother once a month to say hi,

[00:15:07] and that's it.

[00:15:08] His favoritism claim is due to him being the second child who wasn't wanted.

[00:15:14] In reality,

[00:15:15] it's the opposite.

[00:15:16] My husband is an oopsie baby of hippies,

[00:15:18] because my husband had a childhood medical event that made him the family favorite.

[00:15:23] And the list goes on and on.

[00:15:26] This dude still fights over Pokemon cards with my husband.

[00:15:29] We've had to hide all of his childhood stuff in case my brother-in-law comes over,

[00:15:33] because he will start stealing if he's not being watched,

[00:15:35] or things aren't hidden well enough.

[00:15:37] Like,

[00:15:38] am I wrong for wanting to punch him?

[00:15:40] I think all of that history of garbage,

[00:15:42] and trust me,

[00:15:43] I've had a front row seat to some awful behaviors from this man,

[00:15:46] lower than any creature on this planet,

[00:15:48] and it makes me want to punch him in the face,

[00:15:50] or have a jewel or something.

[00:15:52] But then,

[00:15:52] he's been good recently,

[00:15:54] been making pretty good progress with therapy according to his girlfriend,

[00:15:57] has drastically reduced his drug use,

[00:15:59] and whilst set up to shenanigans,

[00:16:01] hasn't been pulling anyone else into them at least.

[00:16:04] But then,

[00:16:04] my mother-in-law went to go see his daughter first,

[00:16:07] and then him afterwards.

[00:16:08] Then went and got a motel and went to bed after telling my husband and I,

[00:16:12] fuck off until tomorrow pretty much.

[00:16:13] So,

[00:16:14] she spent the whole day doing stuff for or with my brother-in-law,

[00:16:18] and the whole point of her coming to visit supposedly was because of my husband being in a horrific accident,

[00:16:23] that he's lucky to have survived with only a brain bleed.

[00:16:25] And she wanted to see him and hug him.

[00:16:28] I guarantee that only happened because my brother-in-law whined about some sort of shit,

[00:16:32] and she went running to him.

[00:16:34] She's a wicked pushover because of my brother-in-law threatening to off himself left and right,

[00:16:38] so all he has to do is slightly hint that he's upset,

[00:16:41] and she runs to placate him.

[00:16:43] I suspect this because when my husband was in the hospital,

[00:16:46] you could see the dollar signs jumping from my brother-in-law's eyes

[00:16:49] once he heard there was a brain bleed,

[00:16:51] but then got angry and left once the hospital said

[00:16:54] they were sending my husband home,

[00:16:56] and hasn't talked to us since.

[00:16:57] It's been three weeks,

[00:16:59] and he hasn't answered a single text.

[00:17:01] What are your thoughts?

[00:17:02] The punch is metaphorical for the record.

[00:17:04] If I were to attack him,

[00:17:05] I'd probably get killed.

[00:17:07] I'm not insane.

[00:17:09] The top comment on that one says,

[00:17:11] you buried the lead of this piece of crap headbutting you so hard

[00:17:14] you have a permanent neurological disorder.

[00:17:16] I can't understand how you were brave enough to spend one minute with him.

[00:17:20] I thought that as well,

[00:17:21] because at the first part,

[00:17:23] I was going all sorts of different directions.

[00:17:25] I was thinking maybe,

[00:17:26] I was still against brother-in-law,

[00:17:28] but I was thinking that he was like,

[00:17:30] maybe a bit of a neglected child,

[00:17:32] because the mom was always looking after OP's husband,

[00:17:36] like because of medical needs,

[00:17:38] et cetera.

[00:17:38] So brother-in-law was always cast to the background kind of thing,

[00:17:42] like the opposite of what we see in some of these stories pretty much.

[00:17:45] But then this guy nutted you

[00:17:46] to the point of a neurological disorder is madness.

[00:17:50] And all the way through,

[00:17:51] when you kept saying that you're going to punch him,

[00:17:53] I was like,

[00:17:53] no,

[00:17:54] do not punch this dude,

[00:17:55] man.

[00:17:55] But OP comes in with another update and says,

[00:17:59] yesterday,

[00:17:59] my husband and I waited all day for my mother-in-law to call when she was going to come over and say hi.

[00:18:05] I had to text her at 1pm because I was starting to get pissed off.

[00:18:07] She hadn't said anything yet.

[00:18:09] And her response led me to punching a wall without thinking.

[00:18:12] She said that they,

[00:18:13] I was assuming she and her partner,

[00:18:16] were out to lunch with brother-in-law,

[00:18:17] sister-in-law,

[00:18:18] and their daughter.

[00:18:18] They got to have a surprise visitation day.

[00:18:20] She said after lunch,

[00:18:22] when my niece went home at 3pm,

[00:18:24] she would come see us.

[00:18:25] I was furious,

[00:18:26] but whatever.

[00:18:27] My husband was distraught,

[00:18:29] but again,

[00:18:29] playing it off.

[00:18:31] Eventually,

[00:18:31] around 5.30pm,

[00:18:33] we got a call from my mother-in-law saying she was coming over.

[00:18:36] Well,

[00:18:36] finally,

[00:18:37] we made a plan for her to come pick us up so we could get pizza for dinner.

[00:18:40] We can't drive,

[00:18:42] and I laid out a whole idea my husband came up with to get some pizza,

[00:18:45] go see a movie,

[00:18:46] and maybe go play some pool afterwards,

[00:18:48] because that's a pastime his mother loves.

[00:18:51] Well,

[00:18:51] nope.

[00:18:52] Mother-in-law said she needs to return to brother-in-law's house,

[00:18:55] so she'll be picking us up to get pizza,

[00:18:57] and then we're going to go see brother-in-law and sister-in-law afterwards.

[00:19:00] Oh,

[00:19:00] of course.

[00:19:02] So,

[00:19:03] we went with that plan for the sake of not starting an argument.

[00:19:06] When she showed up,

[00:19:07] she was nice enough to come to our apartment and say hi to my dad who lives with us,

[00:19:11] but wanted to leave right away.

[00:19:12] The only reason we didn't was because my mother-in-law brought her sister,

[00:19:16] Kay,

[00:19:17] 60 female,

[00:19:18] who hasn't lived in the area or even visited,

[00:19:20] for 30 years,

[00:19:22] but came with mother-in-law to see my husband specifically.

[00:19:25] She sat with my dad asking a bunch of questions,

[00:19:28] looking through all the hospital paperwork and accident reports, etc.

[00:19:32] Honestly,

[00:19:32] stuff his mother should have been doing,

[00:19:34] but wasn't,

[00:19:35] and was instead just chatting with my dad,

[00:19:37] trying to scoot everyone out the door.

[00:20:07] After a while,

[00:20:09] huge red flag.

[00:20:11] Now,

[00:20:11] here's where everything spiraled.

[00:20:13] Kay suggested that maybe we take my husband home,

[00:20:16] at least,

[00:20:16] because he was starting to sway in his seat,

[00:20:18] and she was guessing maybe he was just tired.

[00:20:21] My sister-in-law,

[00:20:22] though,

[00:20:22] started freaking out,

[00:20:23] saying we need to call an ambulance.

[00:20:25] See,

[00:20:25] my sister-in-law had a severe traumatic brain bleed happened years ago due to circumstances,

[00:20:31] and she is also a super empath.

[00:20:34] According to her,

[00:20:35] she could sense something was super wrong,

[00:20:37] and that my husband needed to be seen right away without delay.

[00:20:40] Now,

[00:20:41] my husband usually would be refusing viciously at this point.

[00:20:44] He hates hospitals,

[00:20:45] and especially hates ambulances.

[00:20:47] But he wasn't saying anything,

[00:20:48] so I knew something was wrong and started making the call.

[00:20:51] My mother-in-law and brother-in-law seemed maybe a little worried,

[00:20:54] but they kept playing it off,

[00:20:55] saying,

[00:20:56] eh,

[00:20:56] he's probably just tired.

[00:20:57] He probably needs to rest.

[00:20:59] It wasn't until my husband threw up all over the floor that they got the fucking picture.

[00:21:04] I sat and handled the phone call while Kay and sister-in-law tended to my husband.

[00:21:08] Now,

[00:21:09] I don't know what happened,

[00:21:10] because my back was turned when I was on the phone,

[00:21:12] but the next second I heard a wicked loud yelp,

[00:21:14] and then the sound of crashing glass,

[00:21:16] and lots of yelling.

[00:21:18] According to Kay,

[00:21:19] what happened was,

[00:21:19] my sister-in-law went to hold my husband's head,

[00:21:22] as he was starting to go limp,

[00:21:23] so they were transferring him to a laying position.

[00:21:26] And my sister-in-law ended up taking his head and laying it on her lap,

[00:21:29] because their floor is hardwood,

[00:21:31] and she was afraid it'd hit his head.

[00:21:32] Totally valid worry,

[00:21:34] and I thank her for it.

[00:21:36] My stupid brother-in-law didn't like that though,

[00:21:38] and without thinking about anyone but himself,

[00:21:40] grabbed my sister-in-law by their hair,

[00:21:42] picked her up by it,

[00:21:43] she's tiny so it's very easy,

[00:21:45] and threw it into their coffee table.

[00:21:48] Multiple things happened at once,

[00:21:49] and I can see it in my mind's eye in slow-mo.

[00:21:52] First,

[00:21:53] my husband's head had dropped to the ground,

[00:21:54] and Kay wasn't close enough to catch him,

[00:21:56] so he ended up hitting his head.

[00:21:58] At this point,

[00:21:59] I turned around and saw sister-in-law in a bloody pile of glass.

[00:22:02] Mother-in-law holding brother-in-law back,

[00:22:05] from trying to attack sister-in-law,

[00:22:06] while my husband was having a full grand mal seizure on the floor,

[00:22:10] beside them,

[00:22:10] about to get stepped on.

[00:22:12] Panic doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had.

[00:22:15] Even though unfortunately,

[00:22:16] due to my having epilepsy,

[00:22:18] I understand a no seizure protocol.

[00:22:20] I was in panic,

[00:22:21] noting the time and all that jazz.

[00:22:23] I didn't even notice the EMTs and police show up.

[00:22:26] They heard the crash on the phone,

[00:22:27] and assumed to send police as well.

[00:22:29] The ambulance scooped my husband,

[00:22:31] when his seizure luckily stopped,

[00:22:32] rushed into our chosen hospital,

[00:22:34] and scooped my sister-in-law off,

[00:22:35] with my mother-in-law,

[00:22:36] to go to a separate hospital closer by.

[00:22:39] The one my husband was brought to,

[00:22:40] is a level 4 trauma center,

[00:22:42] and is better equipped.

[00:22:43] Kay drove behind us in the ambulance,

[00:22:45] because apparently,

[00:22:46] she's acting mother now,

[00:22:47] which at this point,

[00:22:48] I don't even care about anymore.

[00:22:50] So now,

[00:22:51] my shitty brother-in-law,

[00:22:52] is in the police station,

[00:22:53] and has finally been arrested,

[00:22:54] for his actions.

[00:22:56] Not sure if my sister-in-law,

[00:22:57] will continue with that,

[00:22:58] as this is not their first rodeo.

[00:23:00] Nor do I know,

[00:23:01] what will happen with my niece now.

[00:23:02] My mother-in-law,

[00:23:04] is staying with my sister-in-law,

[00:23:05] so she's not alone.

[00:23:06] But she should really be swapped with Kay.

[00:23:08] And even Kay thinks so too.

[00:23:10] I asked Kay,

[00:23:11] what's been going on with mother-in-law,

[00:23:12] and why I lie,

[00:23:13] and pulled such a ruse.

[00:23:14] And she said,

[00:23:15] she has no idea,

[00:23:16] what's going on.

[00:23:16] But something does seem strange,

[00:23:18] as this is totally,

[00:23:19] out of mother-in-law's normal behavior.

[00:23:21] We don't suspect she's using drugs,

[00:23:23] as she has pretty severe heart problems,

[00:23:25] but something's definitely up.

[00:23:27] But that doesn't matter at all to me right now.

[00:23:29] I did end up saying something,

[00:23:31] to mother-in-law over the phone last night.

[00:23:33] I,

[00:23:33] as calmly as possible,

[00:23:35] just let her know,

[00:23:35] my husband,

[00:23:36] has been taking her sudden neglect,

[00:23:38] and told her,

[00:23:38] hopefully this is a wake-up call,

[00:23:39] to stop putting all her time,

[00:23:41] care,

[00:23:41] and attention,

[00:23:41] to a wife-beating piece of crap.

[00:23:44] She's actually his long-time girlfriend,

[00:23:46] but,

[00:23:46] case still stands.

[00:23:48] Her response was stuttering,

[00:23:49] and then silence.

[00:23:51] She's supposed to be here,

[00:23:52] in half an hour,

[00:23:52] but now,

[00:23:53] I don't even know,

[00:23:54] if that's going to be a thing,

[00:23:55] because supposedly,

[00:23:56] brother-in-law,

[00:23:57] is going to be released,

[00:23:58] sometime this morning,

[00:23:58] on bail.

[00:23:59] So,

[00:24:00] I assume,

[00:24:00] she'll run off,

[00:24:01] to be with him instead.

[00:24:02] Sister-in-law said,

[00:24:03] that no matter what,

[00:24:04] she'll walk here,

[00:24:05] if she has to.

[00:24:07] Concerning my husband,

[00:24:08] he was brought straight past the ER,

[00:24:09] directly to the ICU.

[00:24:11] After being shoved through a CT scan,

[00:24:13] they said,

[00:24:14] he had a re-bleed,

[00:24:14] and it had grown two centimeters,

[00:24:16] more than it was before,

[00:24:17] putting a lot more pressure,

[00:24:18] on his brain,

[00:24:19] hence the seizure.

[00:24:20] I knew it was a risk,

[00:24:21] but it's awful,

[00:24:22] to watch your universe,

[00:24:23] convulse uncontrollably.

[00:24:25] I know my husband,

[00:24:26] watches it happen to me,

[00:24:27] constantly,

[00:24:27] but it's very surreal,

[00:24:28] being on the other end,

[00:24:29] of the situation.

[00:24:31] We're currently waiting,

[00:24:32] for any news,

[00:24:32] other than bad news,

[00:24:33] because so far,

[00:24:34] it's been nothing,

[00:24:34] but bad news.

[00:24:36] And if the bleed doesn't stop,

[00:24:37] they'll have to fly him,

[00:24:38] to the big city nearby,

[00:24:39] to one of the bigger hospitals,

[00:24:40] to be prepped till surgery.

[00:24:42] I'm freaking the fuck out,

[00:24:43] but there's nothing,

[00:24:44] I can really do at this point,

[00:24:45] but be here for him,

[00:24:46] and divulge,

[00:24:47] every bit of info,

[00:24:48] anyone might ever need about him.

[00:24:50] I don't want my husband to die.

[00:24:52] If he dies,

[00:24:53] I literally won't be able,

[00:24:54] to continue living in this world.

[00:24:56] So hopefully he lives,

[00:24:57] and his mother comes,

[00:24:58] to fucking see him.

[00:24:59] Edit,

[00:25:00] forgot to mention,

[00:25:00] my mother-in-law,

[00:25:01] was only staying in town,

[00:25:03] for two days.

[00:25:04] That second day she was in town,

[00:25:05] was to be our only day with her.

[00:25:07] The next day,

[00:25:08] she was planning,

[00:25:08] to take brother-in-law,

[00:25:09] and his family to the beach,

[00:25:11] and then travel up north again,

[00:25:12] for the rest of her stay,

[00:25:13] to be with her other sister.

[00:25:15] This trip is to see you,

[00:25:16] lying was horse shit,

[00:25:17] as I thought it was.

[00:25:19] Now I don't know,

[00:25:19] what our plans are.

[00:25:21] Next update.

[00:25:22] Hello everyone,

[00:25:23] I wasn't expecting,

[00:25:24] such a turnout,

[00:25:25] of well wishes,

[00:25:25] and concerned readers,

[00:25:27] and I appreciate,

[00:25:28] everyone's comments,

[00:25:28] of concern,

[00:25:29] advice,

[00:25:30] and overall support.

[00:25:31] It has made time go by,

[00:25:33] rather than be at a standstill.

[00:25:35] Now,

[00:25:36] for the update,

[00:25:37] which will hopefully answer,

[00:25:38] some concerns,

[00:25:38] and questions you all had.

[00:25:40] Shortly after my last update,

[00:25:42] my husband went in,

[00:25:42] for another CT scan,

[00:25:44] and things were looking good.

[00:25:45] No growth to the bleed whatsoever,

[00:25:47] so he was on a six hour watch,

[00:25:49] until his next CT,

[00:25:51] to see if he could be labelled,

[00:25:52] stable again.

[00:25:53] He made it two hours,

[00:25:54] before having another grand mal seizure.

[00:25:57] Luckily only lasting,

[00:25:58] two minutes total.

[00:25:59] They weren't sure,

[00:26:00] whether to give another CT right away,

[00:26:02] due to a possible cluster.

[00:26:03] So after an hour or so,

[00:26:05] he went off for another CT.

[00:26:06] They also prepped the helicopter,

[00:26:08] in case it was needed,

[00:26:09] to fly him to the bigger city,

[00:26:10] an hour away,

[00:26:11] so they could get surgery there.

[00:26:13] As the hospital we were at,

[00:26:14] wasn't equipped for that.

[00:26:15] Turns out that the seizure,

[00:26:17] opened the hole,

[00:26:18] and now the bleed was fucking massive.

[00:26:20] Ed had reached 5.3 centimetres,

[00:26:22] and was leaking towards his ventricles.

[00:26:25] My husband was somehow conscious,

[00:26:27] and his eyes were open,

[00:26:28] but he definitely was not all there,

[00:26:29] and could barely speak.

[00:26:31] He did recognise me though,

[00:26:32] and he was able to remember,

[00:26:34] and say our special goodbye,

[00:26:35] that we say to each other,

[00:26:36] before they took him off to the helicopter.

[00:26:38] I wanted to go with him,

[00:26:39] but they told me,

[00:26:40] it'd be better if I could drive,

[00:26:41] because my weight would slow them down,

[00:26:43] and they needed the space.

[00:26:45] I called bullshit,

[00:26:46] but didn't want to fight them too much,

[00:26:47] and left with K,

[00:26:48] as I'm not able to drive.

[00:26:50] On the way to the city,

[00:26:51] I called mother-in-law,

[00:26:52] to see what was going on with sister-in-law,

[00:26:54] and informed them of the situation,

[00:26:56] as I had directly been ignoring their text,

[00:26:58] for the most part,

[00:26:59] because I'd been staring at my husband,

[00:27:01] for hours on end.

[00:27:02] Mother-in-law freaked out,

[00:27:03] and said she was already on the road,

[00:27:05] and that she'd be on the way,

[00:27:06] to the city as well.

[00:27:07] She also informed me,

[00:27:09] sister-in-law was with her,

[00:27:10] and would be coming with.

[00:27:11] We then took the phone,

[00:27:12] to inform me brother-in-law,

[00:27:13] was staying in jail,

[00:27:14] for domestic violence,

[00:27:15] and drug possession,

[00:27:17] as he had his daily dose of shenanigans,

[00:27:18] in his pocket,

[00:27:19] at the time of his arrest.

[00:27:21] Sister-in-law also let me know,

[00:27:22] that she was fine,

[00:27:23] and she just needed some stitches,

[00:27:24] around her eyebrow,

[00:27:26] because some glass cut her face.

[00:27:28] By the time I got to the hospital,

[00:27:29] in the city,

[00:27:36] I tried to remove,

[00:27:37] some of the built up blood,

[00:27:38] because it was creating,

[00:27:38] so much pressure on his brain.

[00:27:40] He had another seizure,

[00:27:41] on the helicopter ride,

[00:27:42] and the bleed was even bigger.

[00:27:44] Although,

[00:27:45] they never told me the size,

[00:27:46] or I didn't even soak that in,

[00:27:47] at that point.

[00:27:49] But at this point,

[00:27:49] the only thing that I could do,

[00:27:51] was wait out the surgery,

[00:27:52] and see what would happen next.

[00:27:54] I'm no stranger,

[00:27:55] to waiting for close family,

[00:27:56] to hopefully survive,

[00:27:57] awful and life-threatening,

[00:27:59] situations and surgeries.

[00:28:00] It's like a curse,

[00:28:01] that followed me,

[00:28:02] since I was four.

[00:28:03] Death follows me,

[00:28:04] like a plague,

[00:28:05] and other than my husband,

[00:28:06] I only have my dad,

[00:28:07] left his living family.

[00:28:08] I pray death,

[00:28:09] would take the fucking day off.

[00:28:11] My mother and law,

[00:28:12] got to the hospital,

[00:28:13] about half an hour,

[00:28:14] after Kay and I.

[00:28:15] She was in hysterics,

[00:28:17] and apologizing to me and Kay,

[00:28:18] and begging the doctors,

[00:28:19] to let her go into the surgery room,

[00:28:21] at first,

[00:28:22] and acquiescing,

[00:28:23] when I was told,

[00:28:23] it was too late to see him.

[00:28:25] I told her,

[00:28:25] she needs to tone it down,

[00:28:26] and she's lucky,

[00:28:27] I've even let her know,

[00:28:28] where he is,

[00:28:29] or what's even going on,

[00:28:30] considering how she's been acting.

[00:28:31] I honestly spent a good hour,

[00:28:33] sitting there,

[00:28:33] tearing into this woman.

[00:28:35] I loved my mother-in-law,

[00:28:36] and felt so hurt,

[00:28:37] that she left my husband,

[00:28:38] high and dry,

[00:28:39] to cater to a monster.

[00:28:41] I hated her,

[00:28:42] for using,

[00:28:42] our softer sides against us,

[00:28:44] to drag us to my brother-in-law's house,

[00:28:46] and into a living fucking nightmare.

[00:28:48] She listened tearfully,

[00:28:49] and ate every word I dished to her.

[00:28:52] I didn't feel better afterwards whatsoever.

[00:28:54] She was an absolute wreck,

[00:28:55] and I could see it.

[00:28:57] Years of worry for my husband,

[00:28:59] dread and regret,

[00:29:00] sadness and understanding.

[00:29:02] She looked very broken,

[00:29:03] and it made me feel so much worse.

[00:29:05] She helped us so much for years.

[00:29:08] She housed us for free,

[00:29:09] while we struggled for work,

[00:29:11] fed us with no questions,

[00:29:12] gave us rides and support,

[00:29:14] in all times of need.

[00:29:15] Hell,

[00:29:16] this woman taught me to crochet,

[00:29:17] which is my favorite thing to do in this world,

[00:29:19] besides my husband.

[00:29:21] Insert quirky laughter here,

[00:29:23] I'm currently too tired.

[00:29:24] So,

[00:29:24] when she responded to me,

[00:29:26] with what she did,

[00:29:27] I honestly wasn't surprised,

[00:29:28] and a little pissed at myself,

[00:29:29] for not seeing it in the first place,

[00:29:31] and yelling at her as hard as I did.

[00:29:33] My mother-in-law and sister-in-law,

[00:29:35] have been working for the past year,

[00:29:37] to get my niece adopted by my mother-in-law,

[00:29:39] behind brother-in-law's back,

[00:29:41] along with all of our backs as well,

[00:29:43] because they wanted as few people to know as possible,

[00:29:45] for the safety of my sister-in-law.

[00:29:47] When my sister-in-law overdosed a year ago,

[00:29:49] and they lost custody of my niece,

[00:29:51] I guess when she was taken away,

[00:29:53] there were lots of stipulations to get her back,

[00:29:55] and while my sister-in-law has gone through recovery,

[00:29:57] and everything beautifully,

[00:29:59] my brother-in-law was uncompliant,

[00:30:01] and making the process complicated for no reason.

[00:30:04] He also was completely unresponsive,

[00:30:06] and is still unresponsive,

[00:30:07] to all correspondences and calls from CPS,

[00:30:09] so did not know any of the proceedings,

[00:30:12] even though they sent him forms to sign.

[00:30:14] My mother-in-law had flown them out,

[00:30:16] to give them a vacation,

[00:30:17] to hopefully restart the mentality,

[00:30:19] so she could get them started on a new path to life,

[00:30:21] and hopefully get my brother-in-law,

[00:30:23] to become compliant.

[00:30:24] And I guess she made the decision,

[00:30:26] when my brother-in-law responded,

[00:30:27] by stealing her car to roam around the city,

[00:30:29] to find drugs,

[00:30:30] and came back belligerent,

[00:30:32] and abusive.

[00:30:33] So all the secrecy of this specific trip,

[00:30:35] was because things were being finalized this week.

[00:30:37] The paperwork was signed,

[00:30:39] the day of what I would call,

[00:30:41] the incident,

[00:30:42] and my mother-in-law wanted all of us,

[00:30:43] to get together that night,

[00:30:44] so she could break the news to my brother-in-law,

[00:30:47] and so we could hopefully celebrate.

[00:30:48] She feels horrible for what happened,

[00:30:50] and even somehow feels bad,

[00:30:52] that my brother-in-law still doesn't know yet,

[00:30:54] because,

[00:30:55] he has the right to since he's her father.

[00:30:57] I want to be there when he's told,

[00:30:59] and his brain implodes honestly.

[00:31:00] I'd die of laughter in the parking lot.

[00:31:03] I asked her why she bothered,

[00:31:04] and why not report brother-in-law sooner,

[00:31:06] since she knew what was going on,

[00:31:08] and she responded that she didn't want to mess up the adoption.

[00:31:11] I told her that was extremely irresponsible,

[00:31:13] and that sister-in-law was at such high risk.

[00:31:16] The sister-in-law assured me that she wouldn't have had it any other way,

[00:31:19] and that things have worked out perfectly.

[00:31:22] Well,

[00:31:22] other than my husband.

[00:31:23] She didn't mean that maliciously,

[00:31:25] she meant it factually.

[00:31:26] Nobody planned out for my husband to decline so badly all of a sudden,

[00:31:30] which led my sister-in-law to go into helper mode,

[00:31:32] and which made my brother-in-law jealous.

[00:31:34] According to sister-in-law,

[00:31:35] he suspects she's cheating with my husband,

[00:31:37] which led to all of the events that unfolded until now so far.

[00:31:41] After all their explanations,

[00:31:43] I honestly was just numb.

[00:31:45] Didn't know what to feel or think.

[00:31:47] Still kind of don't.

[00:31:48] I'm horrendously angry at both of them,

[00:31:50] and they both admitted that it doesn't excuse their faults in this.

[00:31:53] Nor is my mother-in-law absolved from her crimes of abandoning her son in this time of need,

[00:31:58] and that they've been saints since to repent.

[00:32:01] But I don't even know if I can be mad at them anymore.

[00:32:04] I know that they needed to dance around my brother-in-law,

[00:32:06] so that's understandable.

[00:32:07] I just wish they'd let us know.

[00:32:10] They didn't because we are usually naturally low contact,

[00:32:12] so they didn't see the point in saying anything.

[00:32:15] Bad excuse,

[00:32:16] and now my husband gets to suffer for their incompetence.

[00:32:19] I told my mother-in-law and sister-in-law

[00:32:21] they're lucky I don't press charges against them,

[00:32:23] and they agreed that's fair,

[00:32:24] and that they deserve whatever crap comes their way.

[00:32:26] Eight hours after going in,

[00:32:29] my husband came out of surgery alive,

[00:32:31] thank fuck.

[00:32:32] They supposedly closed the source of the head bleed,

[00:32:34] but there's a lot more blood than was originally realized,

[00:32:37] and it created a lot of pressure.

[00:32:38] And I honestly don't care to type out all the medical bullshit they told me,

[00:32:42] but pretty much due to the scar tissue and permanent damage

[00:32:45] that was already present on my husband's optical nerves

[00:32:47] from his childhood clot and aneurysm,

[00:32:49] the pressure from the bleed created a massive strain on said optical nerves.

[00:32:53] And by the way things are,

[00:32:54] my husband is blind and will be for the time being

[00:32:57] until the inflammation from surgery and bleeding is absorbed.

[00:33:00] Hopefully.

[00:33:01] My husband opened his eyes yesterday afternoon,

[00:33:04] unable to see entirely.

[00:33:06] He previously had one and a half eyes worth of sight,

[00:33:08] and now he has none.

[00:33:10] He only remembers getting pizza and saying goodbye to me.

[00:33:13] Everything else in between was empty space.

[00:33:15] He's having a lot of neurological issues so far, obviously,

[00:33:18] and his speech is extremely slurred,

[00:33:20] but he is alive, cognitive, and has motor function.

[00:33:24] He remembers me and his mother

[00:33:25] and remembers our special words in Handhold.

[00:33:27] He's luckily still my husband so far.

[00:33:30] This is not his first time being blind,

[00:33:32] and he's surprisingly okay with it for now at least.

[00:33:34] He says it's kind of nostalgic in a way.

[00:33:36] I didn't want to worry him, but he kept asking questions.

[00:33:39] So I told him everything that's been going on

[00:33:41] from the beginning to the end.

[00:33:43] He fell asleep as I was telling him the story.

[00:33:45] And when he woke later,

[00:33:46] when the nurse came to check on him,

[00:33:48] he asked for the rest.

[00:33:49] I know he needs to be resting,

[00:33:51] but my husband is the type of person who needs to know.

[00:33:54] He's an informational index that needs to be constantly fed,

[00:33:57] and it kills him not to know things

[00:33:59] and have answers withheld from him.

[00:34:00] I'm so happy he's alive.

[00:34:02] Mother-in-law is extending her stay,

[00:34:04] and will be staying with me in the city,

[00:34:06] along with sister-in-law,

[00:34:07] and they're paying for my hotel.

[00:34:09] Kay will be leaving in two days,

[00:34:11] when the vacation is supposed to be over.

[00:34:13] She can't miss work.

[00:34:14] She has a high-security job.

[00:34:16] We're all waiting for news on brother-in-law,

[00:34:18] and on the hospital that did the original surgery,

[00:34:21] when my husband was a child,

[00:34:22] to see if anyone from the team might still

[00:34:25] possibly be in practice,

[00:34:26] and have some insight as to where to go from here.

[00:34:28] There's a lot of personal things I left out,

[00:34:30] because this case is very rare,

[00:34:32] and has this teaching hospital in a frenzy.

[00:34:35] My husband's childhood event was a rare situation,

[00:34:37] so this is something that's never happened before,

[00:34:39] so far from what they've told us.

[00:34:41] So, Kirst says to the OP,

[00:34:43] there was still no need for your mother-in-law

[00:34:45] to force her injured son to be around brother-in-law.

[00:34:48] Adopting her grandchild is obviously important,

[00:34:50] and perhaps a secrecy was necessary,

[00:34:53] but there was no need for her

[00:34:54] to make your husband make that trip,

[00:34:56] especially given that she has seen your husband

[00:34:59] already have a traumatic brain injury in childhood,

[00:35:01] and therefore knows better than most

[00:35:03] how dangerous they are.

[00:35:04] She'd have to live with the fact

[00:35:06] that she almost killed her son,

[00:35:07] and her excuses don't make up for any of it.

[00:35:09] You, however, are doing an awesome job.

[00:35:12] Please remember to be kind to yourself

[00:35:14] in order to fully support your husband.

[00:35:16] You have to prioritize taking care of yourself too.

[00:35:19] This is going to be a long process,

[00:35:21] so get good habits starting now.

[00:35:23] Eat well, get lots of sleep,

[00:35:25] and feel no hesitation

[00:35:26] about keeping any negativity far away

[00:35:28] or being selfish,

[00:35:30] even if that means telling mother-in-law to leave

[00:35:32] or letting her stay.

[00:35:34] OP adds a little update and says,

[00:35:36] howdy everyone who has found this.

[00:35:37] I'm using Reddit as a diary at this point.

[00:35:40] I love reading the comments

[00:35:41] and venting the events out to someone other than family,

[00:35:44] as my husband and I didn't have friends,

[00:35:46] as we're both pretty introverted.

[00:35:48] Not much to say so far

[00:35:49] other than my husband is still in the hospital

[00:35:51] and is still blind.

[00:35:52] They contacted some of the old neurologists

[00:35:55] from his childhood,

[00:35:56] but haven't gotten anywhere with research yet.

[00:35:58] The bleed hasn't grown,

[00:35:59] but the swelling hasn't gone down much either.

[00:36:02] His blood pressure has been stable at least.

[00:36:04] My mother-in-law had to go home.

[00:36:06] She was not happy about it,

[00:36:08] but was planning to move back across the country

[00:36:09] to stay nearby,

[00:36:11] rather than move my niece to her house,

[00:36:13] as was the original plan before all of this.

[00:36:15] She really had called the realtor

[00:36:17] to look at a house in the area as well.

[00:36:19] So she's all in on this, I guess.

[00:36:21] Therefore, she needed to go back with her partner.

[00:36:24] It's been with her the whole time

[00:36:25] since she returned with sister-in-law

[00:36:26] from the hospital

[00:36:27] to pack up their stuff and get things settled.

[00:36:30] I've been keeping her updated.

[00:36:31] She'd been gone for three days so far

[00:36:33] and is due back sometime next week or so.

[00:36:36] My niece will remain at my aunt-in-law's house

[00:36:38] until she returns.

[00:36:40] My sister-in-law is staying with me from now on.

[00:36:43] I haven't been home,

[00:36:43] minus to grab some stuff from my husband,

[00:36:45] so she's been staying there

[00:36:47] to help take care of my dad.

[00:36:49] He's elderly,

[00:36:50] but still mostly independent,

[00:36:51] and my cats as well.

[00:36:53] Honestly,

[00:36:54] she's been an absolute saint.

[00:36:56] Luckily,

[00:36:57] her job is very flexible,

[00:36:58] so she's been able to take lots of time off for now

[00:37:00] while she helps,

[00:37:02] which I severely appreciate.

[00:37:04] Plus,

[00:37:05] this all keeps her mind off

[00:37:06] what's been going on with brother-in-law.

[00:37:08] I don't know,

[00:37:09] I've just been working with my husband

[00:37:10] and therapists and doctors every day,

[00:37:12] while also managing everything legally

[00:37:14] with the lawyers

[00:37:15] regarding the accident

[00:37:16] that started all this mess

[00:37:17] and all that jazz.

[00:37:18] It's been all so fun.

[00:37:20] I'm fine though.

[00:37:21] No need to worry about moi.

[00:37:23] I've been enjoying this time

[00:37:25] with my husband the best I can.

[00:37:26] He's still definitely suffering

[00:37:28] many neurological complications

[00:37:30] that keep changing day to day,

[00:37:32] so it's hard to tell

[00:37:33] what's going to happen next.

[00:37:34] So,

[00:37:35] we're just taking everything

[00:37:36] one day at a time.

[00:37:38] Oh,

[00:37:38] and brother-in-law's first trial

[00:37:40] was rescheduled.

[00:37:41] He tried to kill himself

[00:37:42] in holding

[00:37:43] when sister-in-law contacted him

[00:37:44] to let him know

[00:37:45] what was going on with my husband.

[00:37:46] So,

[00:37:47] they have him in some sort of

[00:37:48] mental health evaluation hall

[00:37:49] for now or something.

[00:37:51] Sister-in-law didn't explain it well,

[00:37:53] and I don't feel like researching right now.

[00:37:55] He doesn't know

[00:37:56] about my niece yet either.

[00:37:57] Sister-in-law decided to wait

[00:37:59] until he's seen someone

[00:38:00] to talk to like a therapist.

[00:38:02] I told her to just get it over with,

[00:38:03] and she's considering it.

[00:38:05] I'll post again

[00:38:06] if anything happens.

[00:38:07] Happy doom-scrolling.

[00:38:11] Hope you had one more post,

[00:38:13] which says,

[00:38:13] am I the arsehole here

[00:38:14] for laughing about hearing

[00:38:15] awful news

[00:38:16] about my brother-in-law.

[00:38:18] This is,

[00:38:18] hi there.

[00:38:19] I posted about my mother-in-law

[00:38:20] a little while ago

[00:38:21] asking if I was an arsehole

[00:38:22] for being mad at her

[00:38:23] for ignoring my husband

[00:38:24] after he almost died.

[00:38:26] Then around,

[00:38:26] the first two paragraphs

[00:38:28] was like summing up

[00:38:29] what we've just read,

[00:38:30] and then continued,

[00:38:31] my mother-in-law

[00:38:31] ended up coming back

[00:38:32] after going home

[00:38:33] to sell her house,

[00:38:34] et cetera, et cetera,

[00:38:35] and she'd been living

[00:38:36] at a new apartment

[00:38:37] since she got in the same building

[00:38:38] my husband and I

[00:38:39] live in with my dad

[00:38:40] so she can stay close.

[00:38:42] My niece is absolutely

[00:38:43] loving life with her so far.

[00:38:45] My sister-in-law

[00:38:46] is also staying with them for now.

[00:38:48] Not sure what her plans are.

[00:38:49] Now my brother-in-law

[00:38:50] and where I might be an arsehole.

[00:38:52] He was put in jail

[00:38:53] for throwing my sister-in-law

[00:38:54] into a glass table

[00:38:55] during the incident

[00:38:56] and having a large amount

[00:38:57] of fentanyl on him

[00:38:58] at the time of the arrest.

[00:39:00] When he was processed,

[00:39:01] I guess they told him

[00:39:02] what was going on

[00:39:03] with my husband,

[00:39:05] last my brother-in-law saw.

[00:39:06] My husband was having

[00:39:07] a seizure on the ground

[00:39:08] and he tried to kill himself

[00:39:10] somehow,

[00:39:10] but they put him

[00:39:11] into a mental health hold

[00:39:12] for a couple of days

[00:39:13] and then he had caught

[00:39:14] and they found him guilty

[00:39:15] and he's supposed to be

[00:39:17] serving a good chunk of time.

[00:39:19] Well, nope.

[00:39:20] My sister-in-law

[00:39:21] eventually broke the news

[00:39:22] to him over the phone

[00:39:22] that mother-in-law

[00:39:23] adopted sister-in-law,

[00:39:24] that his brother is blind

[00:39:26] and he's possibly at fault,

[00:39:27] so on and so forth.

[00:39:29] Not sure how sister-in-law

[00:39:30] laid it out,

[00:39:31] but if she was rude about it,

[00:39:32] I don't blame her.

[00:39:34] But apparently brother-in-law

[00:39:35] couldn't handle the news

[00:39:36] and again tried to

[00:39:37] kill himself in jail.

[00:39:38] He also mostly succeeded

[00:39:40] and is now sitting in hospital

[00:39:41] getting both of his wrists

[00:39:42] rewired pretty much

[00:39:43] because he ripped his arms

[00:39:45] apparently on a partially

[00:39:46] open grate.

[00:39:47] Sister-in-law showed up

[00:39:48] about half an hour

[00:39:49] to tell me.

[00:39:49] I barely left the hospital

[00:39:51] since my husband

[00:39:52] got to this one here.

[00:39:53] I couldn't help myself

[00:39:54] and the first thing I did

[00:39:55] was hysterically laugh

[00:39:56] for a good 30 seconds.

[00:39:58] To me,

[00:39:58] it's hilarious justice

[00:40:00] and that piece of shit

[00:40:01] deserves so much more.

[00:40:02] But sister-in-law

[00:40:03] got mad at me

[00:40:03] and told me I'm an arsehole

[00:40:05] and stormed out.

[00:40:06] My husband also thought

[00:40:07] I was being an arsehole.

[00:40:09] I retorted

[00:40:09] she shouldn't have brought

[00:40:10] such news

[00:40:11] to his fucking sickbed

[00:40:12] and that his brother

[00:40:13] needs a massive dose

[00:40:14] of reality.

[00:40:15] Now my mother-in-law

[00:40:16] has been texting me

[00:40:17] saying sister-in-law

[00:40:17] is super mad at me

[00:40:18] and doesn't want to

[00:40:19] go feed my cats

[00:40:20] which fine,

[00:40:21] my dad can

[00:40:22] but I can't understand

[00:40:23] why she's so upset at me.

[00:40:25] It's ironic justice

[00:40:26] and I love that shit

[00:40:27] naturally anyways.

[00:40:28] My mother-in-law

[00:40:29] even told me

[00:40:30] I'm a mega arsehole

[00:40:31] for laughing.

[00:40:32] So am I?

[00:40:33] Well yes,

[00:40:34] mental health issues

[00:40:35] are extremely important.

[00:40:37] I cannot feel sympathy

[00:40:38] for the piece of shit

[00:40:39] who self-entitled

[00:40:40] his own brother

[00:40:41] into blindness

[00:40:41] after beating

[00:40:43] his girlfriend

[00:40:43] for trying to help

[00:40:44] during a medical emergency.

[00:40:47] I imagine that laugh

[00:40:49] is more like a

[00:40:50] stress relief

[00:40:51] some kind of

[00:40:52] relief like that

[00:40:53] because there's so much

[00:40:54] going on in your life.

[00:40:55] Everyday life

[00:40:56] is exhausting right

[00:40:57] but then dealing with

[00:40:58] what you're dealing with

[00:40:59] at the same time

[00:41:00] your husband in the hospital

[00:41:01] not knowing what's going to happen

[00:41:03] you're having to deal with

[00:41:03] all sorts of paperwork

[00:41:04] at the same time

[00:41:05] dealing with the communications

[00:41:07] between your mother-in-law

[00:41:08] sister-in-law

[00:41:09] what's going on between them

[00:41:10] other things like

[00:41:11] your cats at home

[00:41:12] and just everyday life

[00:41:14] getting food

[00:41:15] and everything compounded

[00:41:16] has got to be

[00:41:17] extremely stressful

[00:41:19] so I imagine

[00:41:20] that's just like

[00:41:20] a stress reaction

[00:41:22] more than anything.

[00:41:24] I've laughed

[00:41:24] at some weird times

[00:41:27] like you know

[00:41:27] I always talk about grief

[00:41:29] because what I went through

[00:41:30] for the last few years

[00:41:31] losing various relatives

[00:41:32] and stuff

[00:41:33] and there's been

[00:41:34] some times like

[00:41:35] and I'm not trying to

[00:41:36] take over a piece

[00:41:36] story at all

[00:41:37] I'm just trying to

[00:41:38] relate in some way

[00:41:39] but like the day

[00:41:40] I can remember the day

[00:41:41] when we lost my father

[00:41:42] and I turned up

[00:41:43] to his house

[00:41:45] and my brother

[00:41:46] was stood outside

[00:41:46] and basically just said

[00:41:48] you know

[00:41:48] he's gone

[00:41:49] and I gave my brother

[00:41:51] a hug

[00:41:51] went up to see my dad

[00:41:52] and say goodbye to him

[00:41:53] gave him a kiss

[00:41:54] all that sort of jazz

[00:41:55] and then went downstairs

[00:41:57] and me and my brother

[00:41:57] were just sat in the back garden

[00:41:59] and I can't remember

[00:42:00] exactly what was said

[00:42:01] but we just burst out laughing

[00:42:02] and we was

[00:42:03] sort of laughing

[00:42:04] in the back garden

[00:42:05] and I remember

[00:42:06] another family member

[00:42:07] coming and going

[00:42:07] what the fuck

[00:42:08] are you two laughing at

[00:42:09] you know

[00:42:09] but like OP

[00:42:11] it was like

[00:42:11] all the stress

[00:42:12] up to that point

[00:42:13] watching

[00:42:14] watching everything

[00:42:15] that happened

[00:42:16] and dealing with

[00:42:17] all the medical stuff

[00:42:18] and just dealing

[00:42:18] with our own jobs

[00:42:19] and lives

[00:42:20] and all that kind of thing

[00:42:22] it was some kind of release

[00:42:23] some kind of grief

[00:42:24] you know

[00:42:25] and going off as usual

[00:42:27] basically what I'm saying

[00:42:28] is I wouldn't say

[00:42:29] you're the asshole

[00:42:30] in that situation at all

[00:42:31] but whatever going forward

[00:42:32] I'm wishing you

[00:42:33] all the best for yourself

[00:42:35] and your husband's recovery

[00:42:36] as well

[00:42:37] it sounds like an absolutely

[00:42:39] terrifying situation

[00:42:40] to be in

[00:42:41] and I really do wish you

[00:42:42] all the best

[00:42:43] but now

[00:42:43] I'm going to turn this one

[00:42:45] to you guys

[00:42:45] what do you guys make

[00:42:46] of this situation

[00:42:48] let us know your thoughts

[00:42:49] down in the comments below

[00:42:51] just a huge thank you

[00:42:52] for being here today

[00:42:53] getting involved in the story

[00:42:54] your love

[00:42:55] your support

[00:42:55] your time

[00:42:56] always means the absolute world

[00:42:57] to me

[00:42:58] so thank you so much

[00:42:59] for being involved

[00:43:00] and I will see you

[00:43:01] in the next one

[00:43:01] take care

[00:43:02] and much love